0:00:02 > 0:00:05The following show is full of fools doing foolish things.
0:00:05 > 0:00:07Although nobody involved was seriously hurt,
0:00:07 > 0:00:11you should not attempt to repeat anything you are about to see.
0:00:13 > 0:00:16Mr T is on a special mission.
0:00:16 > 0:00:18He's been searching far and wide,
0:00:18 > 0:00:22assembling an army of extraordinary individuals.
0:00:22 > 0:00:27People who boldly venture where others fear to tread,
0:00:27 > 0:00:30people who dare to do things differently.
0:00:30 > 0:00:36People who aren't afraid to ask questions like, "Can I fit in that?"
0:00:36 > 0:00:41"What's through that door?" And, "Do I really need a parachute?"
0:00:41 > 0:00:45He's found the stupidest, clumsiest, most dangerous people on the planet.
0:00:45 > 0:00:49He's found the world's craziest fools.
0:00:51 > 0:00:54Hey, you. Shut up!
0:00:54 > 0:00:57If you weren't talking, shut up anyway.
0:00:57 > 0:01:00My name is Mr T and you're watching my show.
0:01:00 > 0:01:02Today we got fools wrestling snakes,
0:01:02 > 0:01:05we got fools falling off ladders.
0:01:05 > 0:01:08We got fools going one on one with nature and losing.
0:01:08 > 0:01:12We got all kind of crazy stuff. First, this thing is happening.
0:01:16 > 0:01:18Fools walking into stuff.
0:01:18 > 0:01:21Some days you feel like it's you against the world.
0:01:21 > 0:01:24Here's some days when the world won.
0:01:24 > 0:01:27Check out this guy. He's late for a meeting.
0:01:34 > 0:01:35Boom!
0:01:36 > 0:01:38Don't worry about it.
0:01:38 > 0:01:40Take off that shirt, go into that meeting
0:01:40 > 0:01:43and give the best presentation you've ever given in your life.
0:01:43 > 0:01:46And then ask for a pay raise.
0:01:48 > 0:01:51This is CCTV from a shop in Canada.
0:01:57 > 0:01:59That's a lesson for you all.
0:01:59 > 0:02:03Just because something is pink, don't mean it can't kick your butt.
0:02:07 > 0:02:10An electronics shop in America.
0:02:10 > 0:02:13Watch out for that woman in the top left hand corner.
0:02:16 > 0:02:20Don't mess with windows. They don't care about your feelings.
0:02:20 > 0:02:22They are selfish and mean.
0:02:27 > 0:02:30Keep your eye on the door on the right.
0:02:32 > 0:02:37It's not a door. You just made the same mistake he did. Suckers!
0:02:37 > 0:02:39See how easy it is?
0:02:44 > 0:02:48At last, here's a guy who listened to Mr T.
0:02:56 > 0:02:58That's right. Always use your head.
0:02:59 > 0:03:01Boom!
0:03:09 > 0:03:12Now take a look at these fools.
0:03:12 > 0:03:16MUSIC: "Mama Said Knock You Out" by LL Cool J
0:04:10 > 0:04:13Next time you're walking down a street, keep your eyes and ears open.
0:04:13 > 0:04:16I don't want to see you getting hurt.
0:04:16 > 0:04:18If I find out you went and got yourself hurt,
0:04:18 > 0:04:21I will hunt you down and hurt you myself.
0:04:29 > 0:04:32A lot of people go around talking about dumb animals.
0:04:32 > 0:04:36What they don't know is, a lot of animals go around talking about dumb people.
0:04:36 > 0:04:39Here's why.
0:04:39 > 0:04:41She's a wonderful critter...
0:04:41 > 0:04:43Australia. This guy's about to take on a spider.
0:04:43 > 0:04:46..they move lightning fast, that's how they catch their pray.
0:04:46 > 0:04:50I'll try to catch her with my best spider sensor, this food container.
0:04:50 > 0:04:54- Can you see Daddy and spider? - Yeah, I can.- OK.
0:04:55 > 0:04:57Daddy, careful.
0:04:59 > 0:05:01Decided to get a bigger container
0:05:01 > 0:05:05because of the size of this one. I'll have to be really quick.
0:05:09 > 0:05:11CHILD SCREAMS
0:05:15 > 0:05:17Here's a tip.
0:05:17 > 0:05:20Never mess with something with four times as many legs as you.
0:05:20 > 0:05:21That's just basic math!
0:05:23 > 0:05:26Chengdu Zoo in China.
0:05:26 > 0:05:29This guy is about to show us
0:05:29 > 0:05:32why you shouldn't stand too close to the panda cage.
0:05:49 > 0:05:52That's a nice jacket.
0:05:52 > 0:05:56This panda's going to be the best dressed animal in the zoo.
0:05:57 > 0:05:59Up next, this.
0:06:03 > 0:06:05Check out this guy.
0:06:05 > 0:06:09He's got a lot of love to give and there ain't nothing wrong with that.
0:06:19 > 0:06:22You should always be ready to receive love,
0:06:22 > 0:06:24no matter what you doing.
0:06:37 > 0:06:39I've seen enough. End this.
0:06:39 > 0:06:41Check this out.
0:06:49 > 0:06:53You know what this guy's problem is? He's too sexy.
0:06:53 > 0:06:58He's driving those monkeys wild with his sexiness.
0:06:58 > 0:07:00They can't help themselves!
0:07:00 > 0:07:03If you're this sexy, don't go to the zoo.
0:07:08 > 0:07:10Now take a look at this fool.
0:07:22 > 0:07:25The lesson here, always be vigilant.
0:07:25 > 0:07:27You never know where an attack is coming from.
0:07:34 > 0:07:36Welcome to the USA.
0:07:43 > 0:07:45MAN: No, I don't know about that...
0:07:45 > 0:07:49Oh. Oh!
0:07:49 > 0:07:51THEY LAUGH
0:07:51 > 0:07:53No, I don't know about that...
0:07:55 > 0:07:57I pity the fool!
0:07:59 > 0:08:01What's going on here?!
0:08:11 > 0:08:13This is all kinds of wrong.
0:08:17 > 0:08:18Let's look at this again.
0:08:27 > 0:08:31Here's what happens if you get too close to a horse's butt.
0:08:34 > 0:08:37You end up looking like a horse's butt.
0:08:37 > 0:08:41Those horse shoes don't seem too lucky now, do they? Sucker!
0:08:44 > 0:08:48Now you know what happens when you go messing with wild animals.
0:08:48 > 0:08:52But I've got news for you. Keeping them as pets ain't good either.
0:08:52 > 0:08:54Now listen to this real-life police call.
0:09:36 > 0:09:39I'm just driving along having a nice day out.
0:09:39 > 0:09:43Oh, no, what's happening? I left the handbrake off. Boom!
0:09:43 > 0:09:46You just witnessed an example of how an accident happens.
0:09:46 > 0:09:50Here's a bunch of people who left their handbrakes off. Take a look.
0:09:57 > 0:10:00Mexico. This guy pulled up to a store.
0:10:00 > 0:10:05Maybe he wants to buy himself a certain delicious chocolate bar with nuts in it.
0:10:05 > 0:10:07MUSIC: "Forget You" by Cee-Lo Green
0:10:27 > 0:10:31He's thinking, "Where did my truck go? Where did I leave it again?"
0:10:34 > 0:10:36"Maybe I left it inside the shop!"
0:10:39 > 0:10:43"Inside or outside, I wish I could remember where I parked it."
0:10:46 > 0:10:48An underground parking garage.
0:10:51 > 0:10:53Here's a curious guy.
0:10:53 > 0:10:56He wants to see if he can park his car, buy a ticket
0:10:56 > 0:10:58and open the parking gate at the same time.
0:11:09 > 0:11:10He can't.
0:11:16 > 0:11:19This teacher forgot to put his handbrake on
0:11:19 > 0:11:21and ended up chasing his BMW down a hill.
0:11:21 > 0:11:23Get in, get in, get in, get it, get it!
0:11:29 > 0:11:31Chasing a car is a great way to exercise.
0:11:31 > 0:11:35Exercise is important to keep your body healthy and toned.
0:11:35 > 0:11:38I do 3,000 press-ups a day, then I have breakfast.
0:11:40 > 0:11:43Things are pretty slow round here.
0:11:43 > 0:11:46It must be boring being the security guard,
0:11:46 > 0:11:49sitting around watching CCTV all day.
0:11:49 > 0:11:52That's why this nice driver has decided to liven things up a bit.
0:12:10 > 0:12:13It's important to make people laugh.
0:12:13 > 0:12:17I employ seven people to keep me entertained with jokes on a daily basis.
0:12:17 > 0:12:20That's why I'm always in a such good mood.
0:12:20 > 0:12:21MR T LAUGHS
0:12:26 > 0:12:29This bus driver forgot to put his handbrake on,
0:12:29 > 0:12:31then got his arm stuck in the door.
0:12:31 > 0:12:35It's a nice try, but there are only two people in the world
0:12:35 > 0:12:37who can stop a runaway bus.
0:12:37 > 0:12:38And I'm both of 'em.
0:12:40 > 0:12:42South Africa.
0:12:42 > 0:12:45In this showroom, someone's just about to buy a brand-new vehicle.
0:12:53 > 0:12:56Before you sign on the dotted line,
0:12:56 > 0:12:59I recommend not signing on the dotted line.
0:13:02 > 0:13:06You might want to buy a car that comes with a handbrake instead.
0:13:11 > 0:13:15This lady parked up and is off to do some shopping.
0:13:17 > 0:13:19Let's see. Hmm...
0:13:19 > 0:13:22Milk, eggs, washing up liquid...
0:13:22 > 0:13:26Oh! You'd better get a brand-new car while you're at it.
0:13:32 > 0:13:36Also get me some chicken, I'm hungry.
0:13:40 > 0:13:43England.
0:13:43 > 0:13:45This lady is stuck in the snow.
0:13:45 > 0:13:48She gets out of her car to push but ends up losing control.
0:13:48 > 0:13:54She's an idiot. She's left her car in gear, and she comes out.
0:13:56 > 0:13:58It's about to hit the house.
0:13:59 > 0:14:02Oh, my God!
0:14:02 > 0:14:03What a fool!
0:14:06 > 0:14:10Welcome to Russia. Something exciting is about to go down.
0:14:23 > 0:14:25This is what happened when it snowed.
0:14:25 > 0:14:30If it snows, I recommend that you stay indoors and watch The A-Team.
0:14:32 > 0:14:37This mailman in America pulls up to a gas station and forgets to put his handbrake on.
0:14:41 > 0:14:43I always stay too long...
0:14:45 > 0:14:48The van rolls straight onto a busy highway.
0:14:50 > 0:14:55Then, amazingly, it rolls straight back around again.
0:14:57 > 0:15:02- Right back into place. - Suddenly I found myself somewhere...
0:15:05 > 0:15:08Someone better give that van a promotion.
0:15:08 > 0:15:09Also, give it a raise.
0:15:09 > 0:15:12Whatever that van's earning, double it!
0:15:14 > 0:15:16Now take a listen to this phone call.
0:16:02 > 0:16:08I once got locked in a car with nothing but two coathangers, and my furry dice and a blow torch.
0:16:08 > 0:16:11I built a helicopter and flew my way out!
0:16:15 > 0:16:19Sports fools!
0:16:19 > 0:16:22Look at me. What you see is an outstanding sportsman.
0:16:22 > 0:16:25I've won six Olympic gold medals.
0:16:25 > 0:16:30You might not know that, the Olympic Committee don't know it either, but I know it, and that's what counts.
0:16:30 > 0:16:33Anyway, here's some rules for sports fools.
0:16:35 > 0:16:40Rule number one - showing off is nothing, playing the game is everything.
0:17:00 > 0:17:08Boom! Rule number two - understand the objective of the game you are playing.
0:17:08 > 0:17:12If you are playing soccer, you're supposed to get the ball in the back of the soccer net.
0:17:23 > 0:17:28Rule number three - whatever happens, try and cross the finish line.
0:17:32 > 0:17:35Failing that, try and at least cross the starting line!
0:17:38 > 0:17:44Rule number four - if you are playing a team sport, make sure you remember what team you on!
0:17:54 > 0:17:57There ain't no I in team, but there is a T.
0:18:05 > 0:18:09Rule number five - play by the rules.
0:18:09 > 0:18:14If that's not working out for you, break the rules, make some new rules.
0:18:16 > 0:18:18Look at this guy, he'll stop at nothing to win.
0:18:18 > 0:18:20He's a champion.
0:18:28 > 0:18:34There's another rule in sports, rule six - never celebrate too early.
0:18:34 > 0:18:37Here's a bunch of fools who learned it the hard way. Pity them!
0:18:37 > 0:18:39# All I do is win, win, win No matter what
0:18:41 > 0:18:43# Got money on my mind I can never get enough
0:18:43 > 0:18:46# And every time I step up In the building
0:18:46 > 0:18:48# Everybody hands go up
0:18:49 > 0:18:51# And they stay there
0:18:51 > 0:18:54# And they say yeah
0:18:55 > 0:18:59# Cos all I do is win, win, win
0:18:59 > 0:19:02# And if you going in put your hands in the air
0:19:02 > 0:19:05# Ludacris goin in on the verse cos I never been defeated
0:19:05 > 0:19:08# And I won't stop now Keep your hands up
0:19:08 > 0:19:09# Get 'em in the sky For the homies that didn't make it
0:19:09 > 0:19:11# And my folks locked down I never went nowhere
0:19:11 > 0:19:15# They saying Luda's back Blame it on that conjure
0:19:15 > 0:19:16# The hood call it Ludayac
0:19:16 > 0:19:19# And I'm on this foolish track so I spit my foolish flows
0:19:19 > 0:19:22# My hands go up and down Like strippers' booties go
0:19:22 > 0:19:26# My verses still be serving Tight like a million virgins
0:19:26 > 0:19:29# Last time on a Khaled remix Now I'm on the original version
0:19:29 > 0:19:33# Can't never count me out Y'all better count me in
0:19:33 > 0:19:35# Got 20 bank accounts Accountants count me in
0:19:36 > 0:19:39# Make millions every year The south's champion
0:19:39 > 0:19:41# Cos all I do, all I All I, all I
0:19:41 > 0:19:44# All I do is win, win, win No matter what
0:19:44 > 0:19:47# Got money on my mind I can never get enough
0:19:47 > 0:19:49# And every time I step up in the building
0:19:49 > 0:19:52# Everybody hands go up
0:19:52 > 0:19:56# And they stay there And they say yeah
0:19:56 > 0:19:58# And they stay there
0:19:58 > 0:20:00# Up, down, up, down
0:20:00 > 0:20:03# Cos all I do is win, win, win
0:20:03 > 0:20:07# And if you going in Put your hands in the air
0:20:07 > 0:20:09# Make 'em stay there Win, win, win no matter what
0:20:09 > 0:20:12# Got money on my mind I can never get enough
0:20:12 > 0:20:15# And everytime I step up In the building
0:20:15 > 0:20:17# Everybody hands go up
0:20:17 > 0:20:21# And they stay there And they say yeah
0:20:21 > 0:20:25- # And they stay there - Up, down, up, down
0:20:25 > 0:20:29# Cos all I do is win, win, win
0:20:29 > 0:20:33# And if you going in Put your hands in the air
0:20:33 > 0:20:35# Make 'em stay there. #
0:20:35 > 0:20:38LAUGHTER
0:20:40 > 0:20:47Remember, people, it ain't time to shine till you crossed the line.
0:20:51 > 0:20:54In my time, I've been a wrestler,
0:20:54 > 0:20:59a soldier, a bouncer, a bodyguard, a television and a film actor.
0:20:59 > 0:21:01I know work can be tough.
0:21:01 > 0:21:07This section, in honour of good men and women who keep on going, no matter what stands in their way.
0:21:07 > 0:21:10# Sometimes there's gonna be days like this... #
0:21:10 > 0:21:15Italy. This guy has been called to repair a surveillance camera.
0:21:18 > 0:21:20Well, the camera works!
0:21:20 > 0:21:24This man had just made sure his moment has been recorded in history.
0:21:29 > 0:21:32This guy is trying to get some boxes out of a truck.
0:21:36 > 0:21:38The boxes are now out of the truck.
0:21:38 > 0:21:41I can't imagine a way to get them out of the truck quicker.
0:21:41 > 0:21:45This was a successful truck-emptying mission.
0:21:45 > 0:21:48What's going on here?
0:21:51 > 0:21:54I'm going to assume these guys were hired
0:21:54 > 0:21:59to knock down those two glass doors at the front of the building.
0:21:59 > 0:22:04Having made that assumption, I would say these guys have done a pretty good job.
0:22:10 > 0:22:14Mexico, and this cleaner's taking a new approach to washing automatic doors.
0:22:20 > 0:22:23LAUGHTER
0:22:25 > 0:22:30Now, those guys filming her are laughing, but I think she's a genius. Why do all the work?
0:22:30 > 0:22:34Just hold them up still and make the doors work for you.
0:22:57 > 0:23:00Next up, Texas.
0:23:12 > 0:23:17Now we don't have to strain ourselves reaching for those top-shelf items.
0:23:17 > 0:23:19We can just pick them right off the floor!
0:23:25 > 0:23:30These guys have just spent hours loading all those trolleys onto the back of a truck.
0:23:42 > 0:23:46Now we know why the wheels on those things are always messed up!
0:23:53 > 0:23:56Locker rooms can be boring.
0:23:56 > 0:23:58Here's how to make them fun.
0:24:08 > 0:24:14I love dominoes. It's a great way to make boring afternoons fly by.
0:24:24 > 0:24:27You're looking at a supermarket.
0:24:32 > 0:24:35Don't worry, this lady won't be defeated.
0:24:35 > 0:24:38She'll learn from this and come back stronger.
0:24:43 > 0:24:58These glass doors aren't opening properly, so along come a couple of guys to try to fix it. That did it.
0:25:01 > 0:25:03Ain't no problem getting in and out now!
0:25:09 > 0:25:12Next up, this happens.
0:25:12 > 0:25:14Just cut it. Just cut it.
0:25:14 > 0:25:15Come on now.
0:25:17 > 0:25:20- You better get that rope!- Ah!
0:25:23 > 0:25:26I'm not sure what this guy is trying to accomplish.
0:25:26 > 0:25:29But if it's falling, then this is a win.
0:25:31 > 0:25:33Now listen to this true story.
0:25:37 > 0:25:42A Hong Kong man aged 50 entered the accident and emergency department
0:25:42 > 0:25:45at a hospital complaining of abdominal pain.
0:25:45 > 0:25:49Wondering what had caused this problem, doctors ordered an X-ray
0:25:49 > 0:25:54and spotted what appeared to be an eel inside his colon.
0:25:54 > 0:25:57Yes, the man admitted, there was an eel inside him.
0:25:57 > 0:26:00He'd been suffering from constipation,
0:26:00 > 0:26:02he told the dubious medical staff,
0:26:02 > 0:26:06and thought that inserting an eel into his rectum would relieve it.
0:26:06 > 0:26:10The man was rushed to the operating room where an emergency proctoscopy
0:26:10 > 0:26:15disclosed that a 50cm eel was biting the side of his colon.
0:26:15 > 0:26:19The eel had also taken a bite out of his rectal wall in transit.
0:26:19 > 0:26:24After surgeons removed the animal and reconstructed his rectum,
0:26:24 > 0:26:27the man's pain was cured.
0:26:27 > 0:26:32Also, he discovered that he was no longer constipated. Hurrah.
0:26:33 > 0:26:35Now watch this!
0:26:43 > 0:26:45Number one.
0:26:45 > 0:26:47A baseball.
0:26:47 > 0:26:51I think that's gone into the foul zone.
0:26:51 > 0:26:54Number two.
0:26:54 > 0:26:58A rolled up copy of Church Times magazine.
0:26:58 > 0:27:00Get thee behind me, Satan!
0:27:00 > 0:27:03Number three.
0:27:03 > 0:27:07A bottle of Mrs Butterworth's delicious syrup.
0:27:07 > 0:27:10It goes well with chocolate pancakes.
0:27:10 > 0:27:12Number four.
0:27:12 > 0:27:14A pair of reading glasses.
0:27:14 > 0:27:17Whatever they were looking for, I hope they found it.
0:27:19 > 0:27:23Number five. A lightbulb. Whose bright idea was that?
0:27:25 > 0:27:28That's it, the show's over.
0:27:28 > 0:27:32I know it makes you sad, but guess what! It's OK to cry.
0:27:32 > 0:27:34Real men aren't afraid to show their tears.
0:27:34 > 0:27:38Like my mother always said, never trust a man who don't cry.
0:27:38 > 0:27:39See you next time.
0:27:39 > 0:27:41So long, suckers!
0:27:43 > 0:27:45# I pity the fool
0:27:48 > 0:27:51# I said I pity the fool
0:27:54 > 0:27:57# Mmm, I pity the fool
0:28:00 > 0:28:04# I said I pity the fool
0:28:07 > 0:28:11# That falls in love with you
0:28:11 > 0:28:15# And expects you to be true Oh, I pity the fool
0:28:18 > 0:28:20# Look at the people
0:28:21 > 0:28:24# I know you're wondering what they're doing
0:28:24 > 0:28:27# They're just standing there
0:28:27 > 0:28:29# Watching you make a fool of me... #
0:28:29 > 0:28:31Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:28:31 > 0:28:33E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk