0:00:02 > 0:00:05The following show is full of fools doing very foolish things.
0:00:05 > 0:00:07Although nobody involved was seriously hurt,
0:00:07 > 0:00:11you should not attempt to repeat anything you are about to see.
0:00:11 > 0:00:18This programme contains some strong language.
0:00:18 > 0:00:22Mr T's been assembling an army of extraordinary individuals.
0:00:22 > 0:00:27People who boldly venture where others fear to tread.
0:00:27 > 0:00:30People who dare to do things differently.
0:00:30 > 0:00:34People who aren't afraid to ask questions like, "Can I fit in that?"
0:00:34 > 0:00:41"What's through that door?" And, "Do I really need a parachute?"
0:00:41 > 0:00:45He's found the stupidest, clumsiest, most dangerous people on the planet.
0:00:45 > 0:00:48He's found the World's Craziest Fools!
0:00:51 > 0:00:53Welcome to my show.
0:00:53 > 0:00:55Are you ready? You'd better be.
0:00:55 > 0:01:00You're about to witness the craziest fools, doing the most eye-popping things you ever seen.
0:01:00 > 0:01:03We got fools tearing up offices.
0:01:03 > 0:01:05We got fools crashing boats.
0:01:05 > 0:01:08We got fools in cranes, dropping things all over the place.
0:01:08 > 0:01:12There's more too, but I ain't got time for all that right now.
0:01:12 > 0:01:15I'm a busy man. Let's get on with the show!
0:01:22 > 0:01:27Working behind a desk can be satisfying and rewarding.
0:01:27 > 0:01:29There can also be some slow days.
0:01:29 > 0:01:34Thankfully every office has at least one crazy fool to liven things up.
0:01:34 > 0:01:37Here's a computer guy fiddling with some computers.
0:01:37 > 0:01:40GLASS SMASHING
0:01:40 > 0:01:43That's it, sucker, you show those machines who's boss.
0:01:43 > 0:01:46See if they try and break on you again.
0:01:49 > 0:01:54Just another day at the office. Sales at this company are going through the roof.
0:01:59 > 0:02:02Unfortunately the sandwich guy is coming down through the ceiling.
0:02:13 > 0:02:17Good work, soldier!
0:02:17 > 0:02:20Here's a couple of guys playing football.
0:02:21 > 0:02:24Only they ain't playing football.
0:02:24 > 0:02:27Football is when you put on a helmet and charge into someone.
0:02:27 > 0:02:30This is soccer, or lacrosse, or something.
0:02:30 > 0:02:34Whatever it is, they just turned their pitch into a swimming pool.
0:02:34 > 0:02:37I want 50 lengths by the end of the show.
0:02:38 > 0:02:41Here's a guy who's going home for the day.
0:02:49 > 0:02:53I think we just found out who leaves the kitchen in a mess.
0:02:55 > 0:02:56I'm Evel Knievel!
0:02:56 > 0:02:58A bike in the office?!
0:02:58 > 0:03:01This is a major violation of health and safety regulations.
0:03:09 > 0:03:14Now get another one. I want to see you two race.
0:03:14 > 0:03:17Check out this next guy. Bored at work.
0:03:17 > 0:03:20He decides to blow off a few minutes spinning around in his chair.
0:03:36 > 0:03:39He keeps spinning till he feels bad.
0:03:40 > 0:03:41Real bad!
0:03:46 > 0:03:51You better clean that up, and clean up your attitude while you at it.
0:03:51 > 0:03:55This pen pusher got a little too much time on his hands.
0:03:55 > 0:03:59Someone needs to give him some files to alphabetise.
0:04:08 > 0:04:12This footage is gonna come in handy when he has his office appraisal.
0:04:20 > 0:04:24Now look at what he's done!
0:04:24 > 0:04:27This is what happens when you don't have enough files to alphabetise.
0:04:33 > 0:04:35Have a look at these guys.
0:04:35 > 0:04:38They're on their way home from an office party in New York
0:04:38 > 0:04:41when they decide to start horsing around.
0:05:00 > 0:05:02This statue cost 2,000 to fix.
0:05:02 > 0:05:04You do the crime, you pay the dime.
0:05:06 > 0:05:07Now watch this.
0:05:12 > 0:05:16I hope you're gonna pay for that, fool, or at least make some sort of contribution.
0:05:20 > 0:05:23Being a fool isn't just nine to five.
0:05:23 > 0:05:29It's 24/7. Wrap your ears around this call to a supermarket in Wales.
0:05:29 > 0:05:31What the heck is Wales?
0:06:46 > 0:06:49I think he handled that pretty well, don't you?
0:06:49 > 0:06:52It ain't easy dealing with someone dumb on the phone.
0:06:52 > 0:06:55Sometimes the best thing to do is laugh about it.
0:06:55 > 0:06:57HE LAUGHS
0:07:30 > 0:07:33Aargh!
0:07:40 > 0:07:41Aaargh!
0:07:49 > 0:07:51Aagh!
0:07:56 > 0:07:58Oh, fuck.
0:08:01 > 0:08:03Oh, oh, oh!
0:08:03 > 0:08:05Oh, shit!
0:08:20 > 0:08:21Aagh!
0:08:41 > 0:08:43Oh, my God!
0:08:54 > 0:08:56SHE SCREAMS
0:09:01 > 0:09:02Take a look at this.
0:09:02 > 0:09:03What do you see?
0:09:03 > 0:09:07A harmless glass of water, right? Wrong.
0:09:07 > 0:09:10Water's one of the most dangerous substances known to man.
0:09:10 > 0:09:12It's mean, it's ruthless,
0:09:12 > 0:09:15it makes fools of us all. Here's the evidence.
0:09:24 > 0:09:27This boat thinks it can make it under the bridge.
0:09:34 > 0:09:36It can't.
0:09:38 > 0:09:42This captain is smart. Now he's only got half the boat to look after.
0:09:42 > 0:09:45He just made his job much easier.
0:09:45 > 0:09:48Argentina, and this fool's about to launch
0:09:48 > 0:09:50his brand new 2m yacht.
0:10:00 > 0:10:01Congratulations.
0:10:01 > 0:10:04You are now the proud owner of a submarine.
0:10:11 > 0:10:13Error!
0:10:15 > 0:10:19This helicopter in Italy is trying to help a boat that has broken down.
0:10:28 > 0:10:31These guys are showing solidarity.
0:10:33 > 0:10:36You were in trouble, now we're in trouble, too.
0:10:36 > 0:10:38Let's all be in trouble together.
0:10:41 > 0:10:45The Netherlands. Here's a guy trying a new approach to boat launching.
0:10:51 > 0:10:53Next time, stick to the basics.
0:10:53 > 0:10:56Boats are for water, not land.
0:10:56 > 0:11:00If you want a big vehicle for land, buy a monster truck.
0:11:00 > 0:11:02Now take a look at these fools.
0:11:17 > 0:11:19That did not work out according to plan.
0:11:19 > 0:11:24At least, I hope it didn't. If that was the plan, it was a bad plan.
0:11:28 > 0:11:33Ferry crossing can be dull, but this company has livened things up a bit
0:11:33 > 0:11:36by not screwing down their furniture.
0:11:55 > 0:12:02If this is likely to happen, I would advise finding a different to travel from A to B.
0:12:02 > 0:12:05I would also consider how much I wanted to get to B in the first place,
0:12:05 > 0:12:08and maybe think about staying in A.
0:12:08 > 0:12:13Can what you want to do in B be done in A remotely?
0:12:13 > 0:12:18If so, A looks like a pretty good place to remain in.
0:12:18 > 0:12:21Next up, this happens.
0:12:40 > 0:12:43Take care when docking your boat.
0:12:43 > 0:12:49If you're not sure what land is, it's the brown stuff that comes after the blue stuff.
0:12:51 > 0:12:53Nova Scotia.
0:12:53 > 0:12:57This ferry is pulling away from the harbour,
0:12:57 > 0:13:01but somebody forgot to untie the rope to the truck!
0:13:10 > 0:13:12Fool!
0:13:12 > 0:13:13SEAGULLS CAW
0:13:15 > 0:13:17Even the seagulls are laughing.
0:13:19 > 0:13:22You know things are bad when nature is mocking you.
0:13:24 > 0:13:27This is Allanburg Bridge in Canada.
0:13:41 > 0:13:44What does the P stand for?
0:13:44 > 0:13:47Please don't crash me into a bridge.
0:13:48 > 0:13:50Too late, sucker.
0:13:56 > 0:13:59There are lots of things that can go wrong on a boat.
0:13:59 > 0:14:02Five tips on how to be a good sailor coming at you now.
0:14:07 > 0:14:13Number one, be careful when launching your boat.
0:14:13 > 0:14:18If you find a halibut down your trousers, you've probably done something wrong.
0:14:18 > 0:14:21Number two, be sure to wear the correct clothing.
0:14:21 > 0:14:24This may look like a harmless bit of fun,
0:14:24 > 0:14:27but he won't be smiling when that speed boat takes off.
0:14:27 > 0:14:32Number three, always make sure that your boat is in fact a boat,
0:14:32 > 0:14:35and not a car.
0:14:35 > 0:14:38If it's got furry dice, an A-Z and a tin of cough drops
0:14:38 > 0:14:42in the glove compartment, you've probably boarded the wrong vessel.
0:14:42 > 0:14:46Number four, brush up on your navigation skills.
0:14:46 > 0:14:49If you find yourself outside a branch of the Post Office,
0:14:49 > 0:14:50you're probably lost.
0:14:50 > 0:14:54Number five, be careful who you invite on board.
0:14:54 > 0:14:59If you see Ann Widdecombe's name on the passenger list, make sure she's sitting in the middle.
0:15:02 > 0:15:06There's only one way to really be safe and stay on dry land.
0:15:06 > 0:15:10Remember, people, stay afloat, avoid the boat.
0:15:16 > 0:15:19Everyone needs to refuel from time to time.
0:15:19 > 0:15:23Me, I like to fill up on bananas and tasty protein shakes.
0:15:23 > 0:15:25If you're a car, you're gonna need petrol.
0:15:25 > 0:15:29That means going to a petrol station. Check this out.
0:15:31 > 0:15:34Here's a guy who got a great new way to save money on petrol.
0:15:34 > 0:15:37Leave the handbrake off your car.
0:15:57 > 0:15:59No car, no petrol.
0:15:59 > 0:16:01I call that a win.
0:16:16 > 0:16:22This German lady has parked her car on the wrong side. Now she's trying to wrestle the hose around.
0:16:30 > 0:16:36I used to be a wrestler, and I've got to tell you, this lady has invented some powerful new moves.
0:16:39 > 0:16:45By the way, if you don't know that I used to be a wrestler, check out my muscles when the camera pulls back.
0:16:45 > 0:16:47They are pretty insane.
0:16:49 > 0:16:54Ever wondered what happened when you press the red button marked "Fire" at a petrol station?
0:16:59 > 0:17:03This lady just pressed the button by mistake and solved the mystery.
0:17:07 > 0:17:10Here's a guy minding his own business
0:17:10 > 0:17:14when a tyre comes from nowhere and knocks him off his feet.
0:17:18 > 0:17:21A lesson here, always be vigilant.
0:17:21 > 0:17:26You never know where attack is coming from.
0:17:28 > 0:17:32Here's a guy who drives away from the petrol pump with the nozzle still attached.
0:17:38 > 0:17:44Next time he visits a gas station, he'll save time by bringing his own hose.
0:17:47 > 0:17:51This truck driver in Texas pulls up to a gas station.
0:17:55 > 0:18:01What gas station? I was sure there was a gas station round here somewhere.
0:18:01 > 0:18:04Let's hope he's not too sore in the morning.
0:18:04 > 0:18:10A gas station shop. Keep your eye on the lady who just paid for her gas.
0:18:13 > 0:18:19The guy behind the counter must've said "come again soon", because here she comes.
0:18:23 > 0:18:27Maybe she forgot her change, or she wanted to buy a protein shake.
0:18:27 > 0:18:31Those things are tasty, but they make you do crazy stuff.
0:18:37 > 0:18:41OK, you've seen some clips of craziness at petrol stations,
0:18:41 > 0:18:45now listen to this real life story from Slovakia.
0:18:45 > 0:18:52If you don't know where Slovakia is, pay more attention in school.
0:18:52 > 0:18:59A 30-year-old Slovakian man was driving when he realised his fuel gauge was broken.
0:18:59 > 0:19:03Passing a service station, he decided to stop to be on the safe side.
0:19:03 > 0:19:07He than realised he had no way of knowing whether he needed any petrol...
0:19:07 > 0:19:10it was just too dark to see inside the tank.
0:19:10 > 0:19:17That's when he came up with the genius idea of using a cigarette lighter to illuminate the gloom.
0:19:17 > 0:19:22To the man's surprise, the fuel tank ignited and the car blew up.
0:19:22 > 0:19:26The blast demolished most of the petrol station, but luckily
0:19:26 > 0:19:30nobody was hurt and the man escaped with minor burns.
0:19:30 > 0:19:34He has been charged with endangering public safety.
0:19:34 > 0:19:38All these dumb suckers, going to petrol stations.
0:19:38 > 0:19:41I got to say, I pity the fuel.
0:19:41 > 0:19:43HE LAUGHS
0:19:43 > 0:19:45You best be laughing at my jokes.
0:19:50 > 0:19:55I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "I'd love to be a crane driver."
0:19:55 > 0:20:00I suggest you abandon that dream right now, cos you never ever gonna be as entertaining as these people.
0:20:02 > 0:20:04This is footage from a street in Egypt.
0:20:04 > 0:20:07A crane is trying to lift a steam roller.
0:20:13 > 0:20:15Lifting is when things go upward.
0:20:15 > 0:20:19This is called dropping. Dropping is more of a downward manoeuvre.
0:20:19 > 0:20:20I don't advise it.
0:20:25 > 0:20:27Boom!
0:20:27 > 0:20:31Keep your eye on the crane on the right of the screen.
0:20:41 > 0:20:43Can you see it? Neither can I.
0:20:43 > 0:20:46That's because there's a big building on top of it.
0:20:50 > 0:20:54Here's another crane, knocking a building down.
0:20:54 > 0:20:58This was this guy's first day on the job.
0:21:01 > 0:21:03It also was his last.
0:21:08 > 0:21:12You are looking at a crane lifting a slightly smaller crane.
0:21:17 > 0:21:20Now you're looking at two broken cranes.
0:21:20 > 0:21:24If the goal here was to destroy all the vehicles in the yard,
0:21:24 > 0:21:29then this crane driver succeeded outstandingly.
0:21:29 > 0:21:31The United States of Portugal.
0:21:31 > 0:21:34These guys are lifting their truck down by the docks.
0:21:41 > 0:21:44Perfect. That's exactly where I wanted it.
0:21:44 > 0:21:47Let's call that lunch.
0:21:47 > 0:21:50Here's a crane lifting some boxes.
0:22:00 > 0:22:06Again, this is more of a dropping vibe than a lifting vibe.
0:22:06 > 0:22:09Why are people finding this so difficult?
0:22:12 > 0:22:15Ohio. This smokestack is about to be demolished.
0:22:15 > 0:22:18EXPLOSION
0:22:22 > 0:22:24Wrong way.
0:22:26 > 0:22:28No!
0:22:28 > 0:22:30Get out of here! Get out of here!
0:22:37 > 0:22:40As you can tell, it was supposed to fall the other way,
0:22:40 > 0:22:43but where's the fun in that?
0:22:43 > 0:22:48This has been a educational day for those school children, and an exciting adventure.
0:22:48 > 0:22:51It's an edu-venture. I like that new word.
0:22:51 > 0:22:53Help me spread it.
0:22:55 > 0:22:57A building site in France.
0:22:57 > 0:23:00The foreman in the portaloo is about to get a nasty shock.
0:23:10 > 0:23:16Poor sucker. Someone needs to give this guy a hug, and then take a really long shower.
0:23:18 > 0:23:25Tucson, Arizona. They're laying the foundations for a new block of flats.
0:23:31 > 0:23:34Looks like the driver is the first guy to be moving in.
0:23:34 > 0:23:36So how do you like your new apartment?
0:23:36 > 0:23:39It's nice and roomy, but the view sucks.
0:23:44 > 0:23:46The world is fast and furious.
0:23:46 > 0:23:52It's hard to keep up with all the latest gadgets, like laptops and mobile phones and time machines.
0:23:52 > 0:23:56For those of you who struggle, here's some rules for technology fools.
0:24:06 > 0:24:11Rule number one, don't confuse a microphone with a mobile phone.
0:24:11 > 0:24:13SPEECH INAUDIBLE
0:24:34 > 0:24:38SPEECH INAUDIBLE
0:24:38 > 0:24:43Rule number two, don't confuse a microphone with a pepper grinder.
0:24:43 > 0:24:47Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
0:24:47 > 0:24:48How do you do this?
0:24:48 > 0:24:50What is this?
0:24:50 > 0:24:51It's a microphone.
0:24:51 > 0:24:54- What?- Microphone.
0:24:54 > 0:24:56SHE LAUGHS
0:24:56 > 0:24:59I thought this was pepper.
0:24:59 > 0:25:04Rule number three, take your toast out of the toaster before you start eating it.
0:25:13 > 0:25:18Rule number four, never trust your sat nav on your mobile phone.
0:25:22 > 0:25:25This lady did and now she's in a fountain.
0:25:27 > 0:25:31Rule number five... don't do this.
0:25:35 > 0:25:36Oh, come on! Oh, no!
0:25:43 > 0:25:44Boom!
0:25:48 > 0:25:51Rule number six, be careful when using an escalator.
0:25:52 > 0:25:56Make sure you know which end is the entrance, and which end is the exit.
0:25:57 > 0:26:00LAUGHTER
0:26:00 > 0:26:01Oh, my God!
0:26:03 > 0:26:05Fantastic!
0:26:08 > 0:26:10- Are you getting that?- I've got it.
0:26:10 > 0:26:12LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY
0:26:14 > 0:26:15Only in Glasgow!
0:26:18 > 0:26:22He must think this is the biggest stairs in the world.
0:26:23 > 0:26:26Now take a listen to this phone call.
0:26:26 > 0:26:29PHONE RINGS
0:26:38 > 0:26:41'Please leave a message after the tone.'
0:27:05 > 0:27:07That's it, it's over.
0:27:07 > 0:27:12I'd like to say a big thank you to all you fools who made this television show happen.
0:27:12 > 0:27:15Your energy and your commitment is much appreciated.
0:27:15 > 0:27:19Before I say goodbye, I'd like to leave you with one final thought.
0:27:19 > 0:27:22If you fail at something, don't let it get you down.
0:27:22 > 0:27:26Learn from it. Turn it around and use it to your advantage.
0:27:26 > 0:27:30Remember, the only real failure in life is the failure to try.
0:27:30 > 0:27:32See you next time.
0:27:32 > 0:27:34So long, suckers.
0:27:57 > 0:28:00Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd