0:00:02 > 0:00:05The following show is full of fools doing very foolish things.
0:00:05 > 0:00:08Although nobody involved was seriously hurt
0:00:08 > 0:00:12you should not attempt to repeat anything you are about to see.
0:00:14 > 0:00:18Mr T is on a special mission. He's been searching far and wide
0:00:18 > 0:00:23assembling an army of extraordinary individuals.
0:00:23 > 0:00:27People who boldly venture where others fear to tread.
0:00:27 > 0:00:31People who dare to do things differently.
0:00:31 > 0:00:35People who aren't afraid to ask questions like "Can I fit in that?"
0:00:35 > 0:00:41"What's through that door"? and "Do I really need a parachute"?
0:00:41 > 0:00:45He's found the stupidest, clumsiest, most dangerous people on the planet -
0:00:45 > 0:00:49he's found the World's Craziest Fools.
0:00:51 > 0:00:54You're late! Where you been?
0:00:54 > 0:00:56I had a whole introduction worked out for you.
0:00:56 > 0:00:59I was gonna tell you about what's coming up on my show today.
0:00:59 > 0:01:03I was gonna say some stuff about crazy fools in general.
0:01:03 > 0:01:06I was going to be funny and moving, I was going to make you feel
0:01:06 > 0:01:09all warm inside like a rainbow on a sunny morning,
0:01:09 > 0:01:13or when you drink your coffee too fast, no time for that now.
0:01:13 > 0:01:15Let's get on with the show.
0:01:21 > 0:01:24Normally I got a lot of pity for people on this show.
0:01:24 > 0:01:28They do some stupid stuff but it makes us all laugh
0:01:28 > 0:01:29and there ain't no harm in that.
0:01:29 > 0:01:33But these guys are different, they got no respect for the law
0:01:33 > 0:01:35and I ain't got no respect for them either.
0:01:35 > 0:01:36It's criminal fools.
0:01:39 > 0:01:40Welcome to the USA.
0:01:40 > 0:01:46MUSIC: "Sirens" by Dizzee Rascal
0:01:58 > 0:02:00Look at this fool.
0:02:00 > 0:02:04Having broken a window in a fast food restaurant he realises
0:02:04 > 0:02:06he's too fat to fit through.
0:02:06 > 0:02:08He probably shouldn't have eaten all them pies.
0:02:08 > 0:02:11It's always hard to stop when you eating pies.
0:02:20 > 0:02:21Ohio.
0:02:22 > 0:02:24This lady got caught on camera
0:02:24 > 0:02:26stealing a fur coat from a shopping mall.
0:02:26 > 0:02:28# I can hear the sirens coming
0:02:28 > 0:02:32# Better run when you hear the sirens coming... #
0:02:32 > 0:02:35She stuffed it down her lady pants and hoped no-one would notice.
0:02:41 > 0:02:42But they did.
0:02:42 > 0:02:45Now she got a whole new outfit to wear - it's bright orange
0:02:45 > 0:02:47and it got numbers on it.
0:02:47 > 0:02:51Here comes another loser who likes too much pie.
0:02:51 > 0:02:54This one tries to break in through the roof and gets stuck.
0:02:56 > 0:02:59Looks like all that whipped cream has gone to his hips.
0:03:02 > 0:03:05Don't worry, fat crook, soon you'll be on the prison diet.
0:03:07 > 0:03:11Our next piece of television is from right here in the UK.
0:03:13 > 0:03:17This robber walked into a bank and hands a demand note to the cashier.
0:03:22 > 0:03:26When she presses the alarm he decides to run for it.
0:03:28 > 0:03:32His escape fails, when he tries to push his way out of a pull door.
0:03:32 > 0:03:35Who wants to be free anyway?
0:03:35 > 0:03:38Prison can be fun! They got great activities
0:03:38 > 0:03:40like woodwork and ping pong.
0:03:42 > 0:03:45I'm only joking. Prison is hard, he's going to hate it.
0:03:47 > 0:03:50This guy's broken into a house in Mexico.
0:03:52 > 0:03:54He wasn't expecting to come face-to-face
0:03:54 > 0:03:57with the world's toughest cleaning lady.
0:04:01 > 0:04:05She rousted the crowbar off him and chases him right out the house.
0:04:08 > 0:04:13That's it, that's what you get for breaking the law, toerag!
0:04:20 > 0:04:22Check out this loser.
0:04:22 > 0:04:27MUSIC: "Cash In My Pocket" by Wiley
0:04:27 > 0:04:30He's broken into the pharmacy store by crashing through the roof.
0:04:42 > 0:04:43Now he can't get out.
0:04:46 > 0:04:48CRASH
0:04:51 > 0:04:52Nice going, sucker!
0:05:00 > 0:05:02You can try breaking all the laws you want
0:05:02 > 0:05:05but you ain't never going to break the laws of gravity.
0:05:05 > 0:05:08This experiment will always end bad.
0:05:14 > 0:05:17Fools feed on foolishness.
0:05:17 > 0:05:20The "fooliness" of fools is folly.
0:05:20 > 0:05:23Fools die for want of wisdom.
0:05:29 > 0:05:32What do you do it you have a fool in your family?
0:05:32 > 0:05:35Pray for them, love them, but keep an eye on them.
0:05:44 > 0:05:47Wow, look at how stupid this guy is.
0:05:47 > 0:05:51He's trying to rob a grocery store with nothing but a stick.
0:06:09 > 0:06:11This could go on for hours.
0:06:11 > 0:06:13Let's stop watching this and watch something else.
0:06:15 > 0:06:18Listen up lawbreakers, we're robbing a store.
0:06:18 > 0:06:22You might want to check out who's in the queue behind you.
0:06:22 > 0:06:25If there's someone wearing a police badge and holding a gun,
0:06:25 > 0:06:28you might want to reconsider your decision.
0:06:34 > 0:06:38That's it, officer, you take that man straight to jail.
0:06:40 > 0:06:43People try all sorts of different ways to rob places.
0:06:43 > 0:06:45Take a listen to this.
0:06:48 > 0:06:52Police in Poland were baffled by a series of robberies in which
0:06:52 > 0:06:55businesses were burgled with no obvious signs of entry.
0:06:57 > 0:07:00They eventually discovered that an inventive thief had been hiding
0:07:00 > 0:07:05inside large parcels and then posting himself to business addresses.
0:07:06 > 0:07:10Once inside, the 39-year-old man would wait until staff had left
0:07:10 > 0:07:14for the night before climbing out and burgling the premises.
0:07:14 > 0:07:18He would then make his get away by re-sealing both himself
0:07:18 > 0:07:22and his loot into another box addressed to his Warsaw home
0:07:22 > 0:07:24and waiting to be delivered to freedom.
0:07:24 > 0:07:29The ingenious scheme came to an end, however, in less-than-genius
0:07:29 > 0:07:33circumstances after he fell out with an accomplice over the loot.
0:07:33 > 0:07:36Instead of mailing him to his next target,
0:07:36 > 0:07:40the accomplice delivered him straight into the hands of the police.
0:07:43 > 0:07:46That just goes to show it doesn't matter how smart you think you are
0:07:46 > 0:07:50if you were really that smart you wouldn't be breaking the law
0:07:50 > 0:07:51in the first place.
0:07:57 > 0:08:00Now listen up, I may act tough,
0:08:00 > 0:08:03but even I know there are some fights you just can't never win.
0:08:03 > 0:08:08If you in a car and you try to take on a train - you going to lose!
0:08:09 > 0:08:11Here's a driver at a level crossing.
0:08:11 > 0:08:15He's decided to play a little game called Beat The Train.
0:08:19 > 0:08:23Let me tell you something, fool, you got lucky this time.
0:08:26 > 0:08:27Costa Rica.
0:08:28 > 0:08:32Another fool is trying to beat the train, this time at night.
0:08:46 > 0:08:48What a fool.
0:08:54 > 0:08:57There are many different ways to stop your car,
0:08:57 > 0:08:59using your brakes is one.
0:09:03 > 0:09:06Driving into a train is not.
0:09:09 > 0:09:14The brake option causes less damage. I recommend you use it.
0:09:16 > 0:09:18Now take a look at this fool.
0:09:31 > 0:09:34Don't worry, he's OK, he learned his lesson.
0:09:40 > 0:09:44Remember, people - use your brains, stay away from trains.
0:09:46 > 0:09:50Back in the '80s, I invented something called the gym.
0:09:50 > 0:09:52People go to the gym to build up their muscles.
0:09:52 > 0:09:57Be careful, though, sometimes working out doesn't always work out.
0:09:57 > 0:09:59Here's some rules for gym fools.
0:10:08 > 0:10:09Rule number one -
0:10:09 > 0:10:13always check your equipment before you start to exercise.
0:10:13 > 0:10:18MUSIC: "Rock That Body" by The Black Eyed Peas
0:10:18 > 0:10:19CRASH AND THUD
0:10:21 > 0:10:24Rule number two -
0:10:24 > 0:10:25once you've checked your equipment,
0:10:25 > 0:10:28double check your equipment just to be safe.
0:10:31 > 0:10:33METALLIC CRASHING
0:10:37 > 0:10:39Rule number three -
0:10:39 > 0:10:41never take on a weight you can't handle.
0:11:01 > 0:11:02Rule number four -
0:11:02 > 0:11:05never use a machine you don't understand.
0:11:20 > 0:11:23Rule number five -
0:11:23 > 0:11:26make sure you clear a good, safe area for yourself.
0:11:26 > 0:11:27GLASS SHATTERS
0:11:27 > 0:11:29Mumma! Mumma!
0:11:38 > 0:11:39Rule number six -
0:11:39 > 0:11:42use professional equipment at all times.
0:11:59 > 0:12:00Rule number seven -
0:12:00 > 0:12:02get a haircut.
0:12:17 > 0:12:20Machines and long hair don't mix.
0:12:21 > 0:12:23CLATTERING
0:12:25 > 0:12:27Rule number eight...
0:12:32 > 0:12:35Don't smash yourself in the face.
0:12:40 > 0:12:42I know I look pretty good
0:12:42 > 0:12:46but not everyone with big muscles is a role model. Check out this story.
0:12:49 > 0:12:53A 35-year-old man in Cornwall was charged with fraud
0:12:53 > 0:12:58after claiming over £43,000 in disability benefits.
0:12:58 > 0:13:00The man had applied for the benefits
0:13:00 > 0:13:03after claiming he suffered from sciatica in his spine.
0:13:03 > 0:13:08A condition which left him with intense pain in his back and legs
0:13:08 > 0:13:11making it impossible for him to sit in an office or do manual labour.
0:13:11 > 0:13:15Police started to suspect he was lying, however, when he entered
0:13:15 > 0:13:19and won a Cornwall strongest man contest.
0:13:19 > 0:13:23During the competition, he excelled in a number of events including
0:13:23 > 0:13:28lifting two 50-pound gas canisters, dragging a lorry across a field
0:13:28 > 0:13:33and lifting a half-ton car over his head for more than a minute.
0:13:33 > 0:13:37His claim that he was on very strong pain killers at the time
0:13:37 > 0:13:39left police unimpressed.
0:13:41 > 0:13:44I like the sound of this strongest man competition.
0:13:44 > 0:13:45Where's Cornwall?
0:13:45 > 0:13:48I want to go to Cornwall! Are you listening, Cornwall?
0:13:48 > 0:13:52You'd better be listening and you'd better be ready cos I'm coming!
0:13:57 > 0:14:01This next part of the show is all about car mechanics
0:14:01 > 0:14:04spending all day fiddling with nuts and screws,
0:14:04 > 0:14:07it's no wonder they go a little nuts and screwy.
0:14:07 > 0:14:08Take a look a these whack jobs.
0:14:10 > 0:14:13This mechanic has lost his spanner
0:14:13 > 0:14:15and look how far he'll go to find it.
0:14:16 > 0:14:19It's not down there. Keep looking.
0:14:21 > 0:14:24Here's a curious mechanic.
0:14:24 > 0:14:27He wants to answer the question we all think every now and then,
0:14:27 > 0:14:31what happens if I tinker with this little bit over here?
0:14:34 > 0:14:37LAUGHTER
0:14:37 > 0:14:42Remember that little bit always turns out to be an important bit.
0:14:47 > 0:14:50This guy's still looking for his spanner.
0:14:53 > 0:14:55It ain't down there, either.
0:14:57 > 0:15:03Sweet. These mechanics are trying to find out what's wrong with this 4x4.
0:15:03 > 0:15:08CRUNCHING AND CREAKING
0:15:08 > 0:15:12GLASS SHATTERS
0:15:12 > 0:15:16You dropped it on the floor, that's what's wrong with it.
0:15:16 > 0:15:19I'm glad I've seen this, now I know if I break down
0:15:19 > 0:15:23near this garage, I'mma pick up my car and carry it to the next one.
0:15:23 > 0:15:25I'll get it serviced there instead.
0:15:30 > 0:15:32This lady's coming for an oil change.
0:15:32 > 0:15:37MUSIC: "Tick Tock" by Keha
0:15:42 > 0:15:45Why not give yourself a reason to get a paint job
0:15:45 > 0:15:48while you're at it, save you from coming back later(!)
0:15:49 > 0:15:53This guy releases a car from the back of a tow truck
0:15:53 > 0:15:55and it rolls right over him.
0:15:57 > 0:16:00Amazingly, he then gets up and chases after it!
0:16:01 > 0:16:07This car is out of control, but if anyone can catch it, it's this guy.
0:16:15 > 0:16:17Here's a guy fixing a car.
0:16:23 > 0:16:25Fixing is when you make it better.
0:16:28 > 0:16:31This is called destroying.
0:16:33 > 0:16:35Now, how you going to explain this to the boss?
0:16:42 > 0:16:45Where did I put that spanner?
0:16:47 > 0:16:49Maybe I left it here.
0:16:53 > 0:16:54Maybe not.
0:16:59 > 0:17:03What do you want to be when you grow up? A car mechanic?
0:17:03 > 0:17:06A policeman? An astronaut?
0:17:06 > 0:17:08Whatever your dreams are, you won't achieve them
0:17:08 > 0:17:12unless you pay attention in school. Here's five dumb exam answers.
0:17:12 > 0:17:16Five Dumb Answers Given In GCSE Exams.
0:17:16 > 0:17:18Number one.
0:17:18 > 0:17:20What does the word "monotony" mean?
0:17:20 > 0:17:26Monotony means being married to the same person for all your life.
0:17:26 > 0:17:28Number two.
0:17:28 > 0:17:29Name the four seasons.
0:17:29 > 0:17:34Salt, mustard, pepper, vinegar.
0:17:34 > 0:17:35Number three.
0:17:35 > 0:17:37What is momentum?
0:17:37 > 0:17:40What you give a person when they're going away.
0:17:42 > 0:17:43Number four.
0:17:43 > 0:17:46How important are elections to a democratic society?
0:17:46 > 0:17:48Very important.
0:17:48 > 0:17:51Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.
0:17:52 > 0:17:53Number five.
0:17:53 > 0:17:55What's a Hindu?
0:17:55 > 0:17:57It lays eggs.
0:18:00 > 0:18:02Those answers may make you smile
0:18:02 > 0:18:05but there's nothing funny about messing up your exams.
0:18:05 > 0:18:09Don't be a fool, work hard and stay in school.
0:18:09 > 0:18:11Also, treat your mother right.
0:18:17 > 0:18:25MUSIC: "Bonkers" by Dizzee Rascal
0:18:38 > 0:18:40Twist it!
0:18:40 > 0:18:41LAUGHTER
0:18:41 > 0:18:45SCREAMING
0:18:50 > 0:18:52Oh! God!
0:19:04 > 0:19:07I got it, I got it!
0:19:09 > 0:19:12I'm good! I'm good.
0:19:53 > 0:19:54LAUGHTER
0:20:09 > 0:20:12- Holy- BLEEP!
0:20:17 > 0:20:20Do it again! Quick!
0:20:20 > 0:20:21Here we go.
0:20:23 > 0:20:25Ooh!
0:20:25 > 0:20:28Ooh! Oh-ho!
0:20:28 > 0:20:32If you like to drink, sometimes it's hard to know when to stop.
0:20:32 > 0:20:36The correct answer is about 10 drinks before any of these guys.
0:20:36 > 0:20:37Take a look at this.
0:20:43 > 0:20:47When you are drunk, everyday objects like bins and trees
0:20:47 > 0:20:50and lampposts become dangerous enemies.
0:20:55 > 0:21:00This man saw two lampposts and went for the gap in the middle.
0:21:00 > 0:21:02Not a great move.
0:21:02 > 0:21:05Here's a drunk guy at a barbecue.
0:21:05 > 0:21:09He's about to see what happens if you pee on an electric fence.
0:21:10 > 0:21:11Argh!
0:21:11 > 0:21:15You dumb fool! You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
0:21:17 > 0:21:19Russia.
0:21:19 > 0:21:21This man is so drunk
0:21:21 > 0:21:24he don't notice he only has one wheel on his bicycle.
0:21:24 > 0:21:30# In the morning you know you won't remember a thing... #
0:21:30 > 0:21:35If they had BBC Three in Russia, this would not have taken place.
0:21:35 > 0:21:39This man would have stayed home and watched Don't Tell The Bride.
0:21:39 > 0:21:40I like that show.
0:21:43 > 0:21:50If you had too much to drink, even the simplest task seems impossible.
0:21:50 > 0:21:51This man is trying to walk home.
0:21:54 > 0:21:59His commitment and effort makes him a model for perseverance.
0:21:59 > 0:22:04# In the morning you know you won't remember a thing... #
0:22:04 > 0:22:07His feet may not be working and the ground may be spinning
0:22:07 > 0:22:10but that doesn't mean he's going to give up.
0:22:15 > 0:22:20# In the morning you know you won't remember a thing...
0:22:20 > 0:22:23Too bad he lives in the other direction.
0:22:25 > 0:22:29We're filming a drunk guy climbing on a car
0:22:29 > 0:22:30trying to get up on this thing.
0:22:30 > 0:22:32Look at this guy, he's drank too much.
0:22:32 > 0:22:35Now he wants to climb to the highest point
0:22:35 > 0:22:39so everyone can see the dangers of drinking too much alcohol.
0:22:39 > 0:22:41He's denting the hood of someone's car.
0:22:45 > 0:22:46GLASS SMASHES
0:22:46 > 0:22:48- Oh!- BLEEP!
0:22:48 > 0:22:50The glass broke!
0:22:50 > 0:22:53'If only his ability matched his determination.'
0:22:53 > 0:22:55CHEERING
0:22:59 > 0:23:01This drunk is wearing yellow socks to alert the world
0:23:01 > 0:23:03to his shameful condition.
0:23:07 > 0:23:10He's also not afraid to throw himself around to draw attention
0:23:10 > 0:23:12to his disgrace.
0:23:13 > 0:23:18# In the morning you know it's going to be all right
0:23:19 > 0:23:23Sometimes alcohol can make you think you have super powers.
0:23:23 > 0:23:26But can it give you power to break a bottle over your head?
0:23:29 > 0:23:30Ha! GLASS THUDS
0:23:32 > 0:23:34He-ya!
0:23:34 > 0:23:35No, it can't.
0:23:35 > 0:23:37Use your head, people.
0:23:37 > 0:23:40But when it comes to bottles, don't use your head.
0:23:41 > 0:23:43Ya! Ow!
0:23:43 > 0:23:44Ya!
0:23:44 > 0:23:45Ow.
0:23:45 > 0:23:47GLASS DINGS Ya! Ya! Ya!
0:23:51 > 0:23:54Now take a listen to this phone call.
0:23:54 > 0:23:56RINGING
0:23:58 > 0:24:00RINGING
0:24:44 > 0:24:49In case you haven't seen enough drunk people here's some more.
0:24:51 > 0:24:59MUSIC: "Pass Out" by Tinie Tempah
0:25:01 > 0:25:03# Yeah, yeah
0:25:03 > 0:25:06# We bring the stars out We bring the women and the cars
0:25:06 > 0:25:09# And the cards out Let's have a toast, a celebration
0:25:09 > 0:25:12# Get a glass out And we can do this until we pass out
0:25:12 > 0:25:15# Let it rain
0:25:15 > 0:25:17# Let it pour away Yeah
0:25:17 > 0:25:20# We won't come down
0:25:20 > 0:25:21# Until we hit the ground
0:25:21 > 0:25:24# Yeah, pass out I've been famous
0:25:24 > 0:25:26# I'm sorta known
0:25:26 > 0:25:29# And if your son doesn't I bet your daughter knows
0:25:29 > 0:25:31# Check out my visual Check out my audio
0:25:31 > 0:25:32# Extra ordinary, yo
0:25:32 > 0:25:34# Hope you enjoyed the show
0:25:34 > 0:25:36# Yeah We bring the stars out
0:25:36 > 0:25:38# We bring the women and the cars And the cards out
0:25:38 > 0:25:41# Let's have a toast, a celebration Get a glass out
0:25:41 > 0:25:44# And we can do this Until we pass out
0:25:44 > 0:25:46# Let it rain
0:25:46 > 0:25:48# Let it pour away
0:25:48 > 0:25:50# We won't come down
0:25:52 > 0:25:53# Until we hit the ground
0:25:53 > 0:25:55# And pass out
0:25:55 > 0:25:56# Whoa
0:25:57 > 0:26:00# Whoa-o-o-o-o-o
0:26:00 > 0:26:02# Whoa
0:26:02 > 0:26:05# Whoa-o-o-o-o-o, whoa
0:26:05 > 0:26:07# Look at me I've been a cheeky
0:26:07 > 0:26:10# Man, look at all the drama
0:26:10 > 0:26:11# We started, now I'm in here
0:26:11 > 0:26:13# Laying on my back
0:26:13 > 0:26:16# Saying, DJ won't ya gimme one more track
0:26:16 > 0:26:18# Let it rain
0:26:18 > 0:26:21# Let it pour away
0:26:21 > 0:26:22# We won't come down
0:26:22 > 0:26:25# Until we hit the ground
0:26:25 > 0:26:26# Pass out
0:26:26 > 0:26:28# Let it rain
0:26:29 > 0:26:33# Let it pour away We won't come down
0:26:34 > 0:26:36# Until we hit the ground
0:26:36 > 0:26:37# And pass out... #
0:26:52 > 0:26:55That's the end of the show, I hope you enjoyed it.
0:26:55 > 0:26:56Here's my final thought.
0:26:56 > 0:26:59It's a good one today, it's going to tell you
0:26:59 > 0:27:01everything you need to know about life.
0:27:01 > 0:27:04I'm going to communicate to you through the power of my mind.
0:27:08 > 0:27:12See you next time. So long, suckers. Huh!
0:27:12 > 0:27:14# I pity the fool
0:27:15 > 0:27:18# I said I pity the fool
0:27:20 > 0:27:23# I pity the fool
0:27:23 > 0:27:24# That falls in love with you
0:27:27 > 0:27:30# That falls in love with you
0:27:30 > 0:27:33# And expects you to be true
0:27:33 > 0:27:35# Oh I pity the fool
0:27:36 > 0:27:39# I said I pity the fool
0:27:41 > 0:27:42# Look at me people
0:27:44 > 0:27:46# I know you wonder what they're doing
0:27:48 > 0:27:51# They're just standing there
0:27:51 > 0:27:54# Watching you make a fool of me... #
0:27:54 > 0:27:57Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd