0:00:02 > 0:00:05The following show is full of fools doing very foolish things.
0:00:05 > 0:00:08Although nobody involved was seriously hurt,
0:00:08 > 0:00:11you should not attempt to repeat anything you are about to see.
0:00:14 > 0:00:16Mr T is on a special mission.
0:00:16 > 0:00:18He's been searching far and wide
0:00:18 > 0:00:23assembling an army of extraordinary individuals.
0:00:23 > 0:00:27People who boldly venture where others fear to tread.
0:00:27 > 0:00:30People who dare to do things differently.
0:00:30 > 0:00:34People who aren't afraid to ask questions like,
0:00:34 > 0:00:35can I fit in that?
0:00:35 > 0:00:38What's through that door?
0:00:38 > 0:00:41And, do I really need a parachute?
0:00:41 > 0:00:45He's found the stupidest, clumsiest, most dangerous people on the planet.
0:00:45 > 0:00:48He's found the world's craziest fools.
0:00:51 > 0:00:55Are you ready for 30 minutes of crazy and amazing foolishness?
0:00:55 > 0:00:58You'd best be sucker, cos you're watching my show.
0:00:58 > 0:01:00You're in my world now.
0:01:00 > 0:01:04I found some wacky people for you. They're going to blow your mind.
0:01:04 > 0:01:08I got fools wrecking cars, I got fools messing with sledgehammers,
0:01:08 > 0:01:10I got fools attacking lions,
0:01:10 > 0:01:12but before all that, here's this.
0:01:21 > 0:01:23Life in the army can be tough.
0:01:23 > 0:01:26When you're out there in the field, it's cold, it's wet,
0:01:26 > 0:01:29and there ain't no hair gel.
0:01:29 > 0:01:31Here's a list of tips I've put together
0:01:31 > 0:01:33to make a soldier's day a little easier.
0:01:33 > 0:01:36MUSIC: "Bulletproof" by La Roux
0:01:36 > 0:01:39Rule number one - your rifle is your best friend.
0:01:39 > 0:01:42Make sure you treat it that way.
0:01:42 > 0:01:44APPLAUSE
0:02:03 > 0:02:04WOMAN LAUGHS
0:02:22 > 0:02:24LAUGHTER
0:02:29 > 0:02:30Oh, no!
0:02:32 > 0:02:33Rule number two -
0:02:33 > 0:02:35if your rifle is your best friend,
0:02:35 > 0:02:38your rocket launcher is your second-best friend.
0:02:38 > 0:02:40It's like the guy that would be your best friend
0:02:40 > 0:02:43if your real best friend is not around.
0:02:43 > 0:02:45Anyway, make sure it works.
0:02:48 > 0:02:50LAUGHTER
0:02:50 > 0:02:51Rule number three -
0:02:51 > 0:02:54your machine gun is your third-best friend.
0:02:57 > 0:02:59Look, all the weapons are your friends,
0:02:59 > 0:03:01that's what I'm trying to say.
0:03:01 > 0:03:03Treat them right.
0:03:04 > 0:03:06Rule number four -
0:03:06 > 0:03:10make sure you recce your terrain before attempting an assault.
0:03:15 > 0:03:19For future reference, mud is not so great to land on.
0:03:33 > 0:03:35Rule number five -
0:03:35 > 0:03:38stay vigilant at all times.
0:03:38 > 0:03:41You never know when an attack is coming.
0:03:48 > 0:03:51LAUGHTER
0:03:56 > 0:03:57Nice ass!
0:04:03 > 0:04:04Rule number six.
0:04:08 > 0:04:12Make sure you use your downtime productively.
0:04:14 > 0:04:18Rule number seven - if you are a pilot, check your brakes.
0:04:21 > 0:04:26Don't worry, he's OK. He got lucky this time.
0:04:26 > 0:04:30Rule number eight - if you are a foot soldier, check your brakes.
0:04:35 > 0:04:36Rule number nine -
0:04:36 > 0:04:39if I shout "incoming", hit the deck.
0:04:41 > 0:04:43Good work, soldier.
0:04:45 > 0:04:49Of course, some people don't like the idea of being a soldier at all.
0:04:49 > 0:04:51Have a listen to this.
0:04:55 > 0:05:00In Poland, every young man is called up to the army at the age of 18.
0:05:00 > 0:05:02On receiving his letter, one bright spark
0:05:02 > 0:05:08decided the best way to get out of doing military service would be to fail his medical.
0:05:08 > 0:05:10Figuring a few nasty scratches would do the trick,
0:05:10 > 0:05:13he went to Wroclaw zoo, climbed inside the lion cage
0:05:13 > 0:05:16and began taunting a lion.
0:05:16 > 0:05:20He shouted at it, slapped it and pulled its mane.
0:05:20 > 0:05:22The lion bit his arm off.
0:05:24 > 0:05:27The man was excused military service for the rest of his life,
0:05:27 > 0:05:31but later admitted that the sacrifice was perhaps not worth it.
0:05:33 > 0:05:36That lion's lucky he didn't try messing with me. Listen up, animals.
0:05:36 > 0:05:39I don't care who you are or what kind of claws you got.
0:05:39 > 0:05:43If you try to eat my arm off, I'll eat your arm off!
0:05:43 > 0:05:44Got it? Good.
0:05:51 > 0:05:55The first question of the driving test should be, are you a fool?
0:05:55 > 0:05:58If the answer's yes, no vehicles for you.
0:05:58 > 0:06:01Strap yourself in. It's time for some dumb driving.
0:06:03 > 0:06:07Parallel park, three-point turn, reverse around a corner.
0:06:07 > 0:06:10Here's a guy who was bored of doing the same old manoeuvres.
0:06:12 > 0:06:15He's trying out a different manoeuvre.
0:06:20 > 0:06:22He made this one up all on his own.
0:06:23 > 0:06:25It doesn't have a name yet.
0:06:26 > 0:06:28It will.
0:06:33 > 0:06:35I hate ticket machines.
0:06:35 > 0:06:38They're always getting up in my face, trying to tell me who's boss.
0:06:38 > 0:06:41Sometimes you gotta teach them a lesson.
0:06:43 > 0:06:45That's right, ticket machine.
0:06:45 > 0:06:49You'll think twice before messing with this lady again.
0:06:49 > 0:06:53Yellow ticket machines are just as irritating as red ticket machines.
0:06:53 > 0:06:55In fact, they're more irritating,
0:06:55 > 0:06:57cos I hate the colour yellow!
0:07:02 > 0:07:04I once got so angry at a ticket machine,
0:07:04 > 0:07:09I smashed it up using another ticket machine that I was also angry at.
0:07:09 > 0:07:12It was not a good day for the ticket machines.
0:07:15 > 0:07:18Next up, it's time for some pain in Spain.
0:07:24 > 0:07:26Boom!
0:07:26 > 0:07:28This guy's got the right idea.
0:07:28 > 0:07:30If you're parking your car and there ain't no space,
0:07:30 > 0:07:32make a space!
0:07:32 > 0:07:35Sometimes you gotta take charge of your own destiny.
0:07:38 > 0:07:40Up next, it's a lady driving through a gate.
0:07:48 > 0:07:52I like this car. It just wants to have its belly tickled.
0:07:52 > 0:07:54Look at it.
0:07:54 > 0:07:58I want to reach right in through the television and give it a little rub.
0:07:58 > 0:08:01I'm not going to do it, though. I'd break the television.
0:08:10 > 0:08:12This car is far too small.
0:08:12 > 0:08:15There's no way you can drive a car like this.
0:08:15 > 0:08:18Even if you manage to squeeze yourself inside,
0:08:18 > 0:08:22you'd never get your legs and feet in the right place
0:08:22 > 0:08:24to push the pedals.
0:08:24 > 0:08:26And I ain't even going to think about
0:08:26 > 0:08:28how you're going to move the steering wheel.
0:08:28 > 0:08:30This car is dangerous.
0:08:39 > 0:08:42The lesson - get a bigger car, sucker.
0:08:45 > 0:08:47Saudi Arabia land.
0:08:47 > 0:08:50These guys are letting their friend drive their car for the first time.
0:08:54 > 0:08:55TYRES SCREECH
0:08:57 > 0:08:58LAUGHTER
0:09:04 > 0:09:06These guys must be good friends.
0:09:06 > 0:09:09Even though their buddy had no idea what he was doing,
0:09:09 > 0:09:11they let him try out their car anyway.
0:09:14 > 0:09:17You see this guy here. He's an ideas man.
0:09:20 > 0:09:24Today, he's decided to see what it's like to drive into a tree.
0:09:30 > 0:09:32This wasn't the best idea,
0:09:32 > 0:09:36but who knows what stupid stuff he'll think of tomorrow.
0:09:38 > 0:09:42Florida. This lady is on her way to retake her driving test.
0:09:50 > 0:09:54"Did I pass?" "No, you failed." "Why?"
0:09:54 > 0:09:56"Cos you crashed into the driving test building.
0:09:56 > 0:09:59"It was the worst thing you could ever do!"
0:10:01 > 0:10:03Don't worry. Everyone's OK.
0:10:04 > 0:10:06Listen up, men.
0:10:06 > 0:10:07If you want to propose to your lady
0:10:07 > 0:10:10then you'd better be romantic about it.
0:10:10 > 0:10:12Buy her flowers, cook her a candlelight dinner,
0:10:12 > 0:10:15take her to a monster truck show.
0:10:15 > 0:10:18But above all else, make sure she's going to say yes.
0:10:27 > 0:10:30A little marriage proposal going on in mid-court right now, Jerry.
0:10:30 > 0:10:34I really can't imagine doing that, d'you know. That's under pressure.
0:10:34 > 0:10:38Whatever you did worked - you're still married, how many years?
0:10:38 > 0:10:41- 40 years.- I think people ought to be asking you how to do it.
0:10:41 > 0:10:43Well, if I had to do it that way,
0:10:43 > 0:10:47she'd have probably kneed me while I'm down there, but...!
0:10:47 > 0:10:51- You know what, I'm just waiting once for the gal to say no.- Yeah.
0:10:51 > 0:10:55- That would be, er... - But she has to say yes there.
0:10:55 > 0:10:58She might say no as soon as they walk off the court.
0:10:58 > 0:11:01Oh, I think she's saying "I can't do it right now.
0:11:01 > 0:11:04"I really do like you a lot, but let's just be friends".
0:11:04 > 0:11:06Ah, look at this. Wow.
0:11:06 > 0:11:09MUSIC: "She Said" by Plan B
0:11:09 > 0:11:12Well, how do you like that?
0:11:12 > 0:11:14The young man, er...
0:11:14 > 0:11:18will probably get over it in 10 or 12 years or so.
0:11:23 > 0:11:25CHEERING
0:11:30 > 0:11:33INAUDIBLE
0:12:00 > 0:12:03- Here it is.- "Will you be my Blueshirt bride?" Look at that.
0:12:08 > 0:12:10- I guess she didn't need to think about it.- Oh!
0:12:10 > 0:12:12"Let's talk about a pre-nup".
0:12:16 > 0:12:18OK, Cathy! On your marks, get set, go!
0:12:18 > 0:12:20And she's off.
0:12:20 > 0:12:22FANFARE
0:12:22 > 0:12:24Is she hot or cold? Let's hear it, fans.
0:12:26 > 0:12:30Well, she's running around. Where is he? Where is he?
0:12:32 > 0:12:34She's getting hotter! Hotter!
0:12:36 > 0:12:38Yo! She's found him! Congratulations, Cathy.
0:12:38 > 0:12:42You've just won a pair of tickets to a future Washington Wizards game.
0:12:42 > 0:12:45But, Cathy, we have another surprise for you.
0:12:48 > 0:12:50Honey, honey, honey.
0:12:52 > 0:12:55Honey, will you marry me?
0:13:00 > 0:13:01Oooh.
0:13:04 > 0:13:08We met here one year ago, right in front of this synagogue
0:13:08 > 0:13:11and when we did, I was dizzy in your presence.
0:13:11 > 0:13:13Dizzy in your presence.
0:13:13 > 0:13:17- Oh, my God.- And listen, Caroline, I love everything about you.
0:13:19 > 0:13:22# Sweet Caroline
0:13:22 > 0:13:24# Bah-bah-baah
0:13:24 > 0:13:28# Good times never seem so good
0:13:29 > 0:13:31# I've been inclined
0:13:31 > 0:13:33# Bah-bah-baah
0:13:33 > 0:13:36# To believe it never would. #
0:13:45 > 0:13:48Make me the happiest, most dizzy man in the world,
0:13:48 > 0:13:51and please, will you marry me?
0:13:52 > 0:13:55- Oh, my God! Oh, my God!- Caroline...
0:14:02 > 0:14:03What?!
0:14:05 > 0:14:06Oh!
0:14:06 > 0:14:08Ohh!
0:14:08 > 0:14:10Oh, my God.
0:14:10 > 0:14:12That is brutal.
0:14:12 > 0:14:15I feel for those men, I do.
0:14:15 > 0:14:19They got lots of love to give, and there's nothing wrong with that.
0:14:19 > 0:14:22I hope one day they find someone who can love them right back.
0:14:22 > 0:14:24Now listen to this.
0:14:28 > 0:14:32An unhappily married couple in Jordan got a nasty shock
0:14:32 > 0:14:36when they both started cheating on each other at the same time.
0:14:36 > 0:14:40The woman secretly decided to seek a new lover on an internet dating site.
0:14:40 > 0:14:43Meanwhile, her husband had also decided
0:14:43 > 0:14:46to initiate a hot and steamy internet affair.
0:14:48 > 0:14:52Eventually they both arranged to meet their new lovers for the first time.
0:14:52 > 0:14:55It was only then, when they met up face to face,
0:14:55 > 0:14:57that they realised they had in fact
0:14:57 > 0:15:01been cheating on each other with each other.
0:15:01 > 0:15:03The couple are now divorced.
0:15:07 > 0:15:11When you walk past a building site and you see a man in a hard hat,
0:15:11 > 0:15:14you know you're looking at a hard-working hero.
0:15:14 > 0:15:17I can't wear a hard had myself because it messes with my hair,
0:15:17 > 0:15:20but that doesn't stop me from respecting them anyway.
0:15:20 > 0:15:22Doing this stuff can be tough.
0:15:27 > 0:15:29Another ordinary day in construction,
0:15:29 > 0:15:33everyone just going about their business, then this happens.
0:15:36 > 0:15:40If you have an embarrassing fall like this, don't worry about it.
0:15:40 > 0:15:42Just turn it into a stylish breakdance move.
0:15:43 > 0:15:45Let's hope he's not too sore in the morning.
0:15:45 > 0:15:48Pipe cutting can be boring work.
0:15:48 > 0:15:50This guy's spicing it up,
0:15:50 > 0:15:53by combining it with a game of bucking broncos.
0:16:01 > 0:16:03You see - a little imagination,
0:16:03 > 0:16:06then suddenly, pipe cutting is twice as amazing.
0:16:06 > 0:16:08This is a great day for pipe cutting.
0:16:10 > 0:16:12Take a look at this guy.
0:16:13 > 0:16:16He doesn't need a bulldozer. He doesn't need an axe.
0:16:16 > 0:16:19He doesn't even need a hard hat to demolish this house.
0:16:19 > 0:16:21All he needs is a rock.
0:16:25 > 0:16:27LAUGHTER
0:16:29 > 0:16:33"Give me a rock and I'll conquer the world." Who said that?
0:16:33 > 0:16:35I did, just now.
0:16:35 > 0:16:37Write it down.
0:16:37 > 0:16:40MUSIC: "Ain't No Other Man" by Christina Aguilera
0:16:46 > 0:16:49Belgium. These workers are trying to move a statue
0:16:49 > 0:16:51that's over a hundred years old.
0:17:01 > 0:17:03Careful with that, fool!
0:17:03 > 0:17:06Some of the best things on the planet are old.
0:17:06 > 0:17:09You wouldn't do that with Bruce Forsyth!
0:17:10 > 0:17:11Look at this fool.
0:17:13 > 0:17:16"Oh, no, what's happening? I've left the handbrake off!"
0:17:34 > 0:17:37Trust in God, but check your brakes.
0:17:41 > 0:17:46OK, listen up. It's time for another of Mr T's physics lessons.
0:17:46 > 0:17:49A crane is parked next to a bridge.
0:17:49 > 0:17:52The top of the crane weighs ten tonnes.
0:17:54 > 0:17:57The bottom of the crane weighs two tonnes.
0:17:57 > 0:17:59The bridge is 60 metres high.
0:18:01 > 0:18:02Here's the question.
0:18:05 > 0:18:07Where the heck is my keys?!
0:18:07 > 0:18:10I'm sure I put them in my pocket this morning.
0:18:10 > 0:18:12Now I can't find them anywhere.
0:18:12 > 0:18:14Call me if you know the answer.
0:18:17 > 0:18:19Next up, New Zealand.
0:18:32 > 0:18:34No comment. I got nothing to say.
0:18:40 > 0:18:43You want to see something great? Take a look at this foreman.
0:18:43 > 0:18:46He's parked his car right where the smokestack's going to fall,
0:18:46 > 0:18:48just to entertain his men.
0:18:56 > 0:18:58That put a smile on everyone's face.
0:18:58 > 0:19:02They're going to work double hard this afternoon, believe me.
0:19:04 > 0:19:05Let me tell you a story.
0:19:05 > 0:19:09It's about a guy who met a girl and got her phone number.
0:19:09 > 0:19:12Then he called her up to ask her out. So far so good.
0:19:12 > 0:19:14This is what happened next.
0:19:14 > 0:19:17DIALLING TONE
0:22:09 > 0:22:12CAT PURRS, HE EXHALES DEEPLY
0:22:15 > 0:22:18There's nothing wrong with being persistent,
0:22:18 > 0:22:21but it's a fine line between being persistent and being a fool.
0:22:21 > 0:22:24If a girl say no, that's when you gotta walk away,
0:22:24 > 0:22:28and some guys give girls plenty of reason to say no.
0:22:28 > 0:22:30Here's five dumb chat-up lines.
0:22:39 > 0:22:41Hi, my name is Pogo.
0:22:41 > 0:22:42Want to jump on my stick?
0:22:47 > 0:22:51The human body has 206 bones.
0:22:51 > 0:22:52Would you like another one?
0:22:57 > 0:22:59The word of the day is "legs".
0:22:59 > 0:23:01Let's go to your house
0:23:01 > 0:23:03and spread the word.
0:23:06 > 0:23:10Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
0:23:16 > 0:23:19I may not be the best-looking guy here,
0:23:19 > 0:23:21but I'm the only one talking to you.
0:23:26 > 0:23:29You want to know what the best chat-up line in the world is?
0:23:29 > 0:23:31"I'm Mr T." But be careful, though.
0:23:31 > 0:23:34There's not too many people that can pull it off.
0:23:42 > 0:23:46Here's some fools messing around on ice and having a wild ride.
0:23:46 > 0:23:48Watch and enjoy.
0:23:48 > 0:23:49And learn.
0:23:49 > 0:23:51But mostly enjoy.
0:23:51 > 0:23:53But learn too.
0:23:53 > 0:23:56This guy's seeing how it feels to jump into an ice-cold lake.
0:23:56 > 0:23:59- Final words - this is going to be- BLEEP- cold.
0:24:01 > 0:24:03WOMAN GASPS
0:24:10 > 0:24:13Turns out it's cold.
0:24:13 > 0:24:14- BLEEP- scary as hell.
0:24:14 > 0:24:18I could have told him that! He should have asked me.
0:24:18 > 0:24:22Could have saved himself a lot of trouble. You dumb fool.
0:24:22 > 0:24:26This guy's seeing what it's like to get his tongue stuck to a pole.
0:24:26 > 0:24:28CHATTER IN BACKGROUND
0:24:30 > 0:24:32It's pretty much as you can imagine.
0:24:48 > 0:24:50You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
0:24:52 > 0:24:54Up next, this.
0:24:57 > 0:25:01A sledgehammer rarely fails to make any situation better.
0:25:02 > 0:25:06I've had a lot of good times with a sledgehammer over the years.
0:25:06 > 0:25:08A lot of good times.
0:25:10 > 0:25:11That ain't one of 'em.
0:25:13 > 0:25:16Don't do this - it's like all kind of stupid.
0:25:23 > 0:25:26Did somebody order a double fool on ice?
0:25:27 > 0:25:28Here you go.
0:25:28 > 0:25:31These two friends climbed onto an iceberg,
0:25:31 > 0:25:34and then got stuck when it drifted away.
0:25:34 > 0:25:37This looks like the beginning of a great adventure.
0:25:37 > 0:25:39Who knows where it's going to take them?
0:25:39 > 0:25:41They're going to see some amazing stuff.
0:25:41 > 0:25:43Maybe they'll find love.
0:25:43 > 0:25:46At the very least, they'll come back better friends.
0:25:50 > 0:25:54Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton, Thomas Edison,
0:25:54 > 0:25:55and now Jason.
0:25:55 > 0:25:58- MAN: It's like the Blob! - Jason is trying to see
0:25:58 > 0:26:01if carrying two big sticks helps you walk across the ice.
0:26:05 > 0:26:08It doesn't. Thanks to Jason, we now know this.
0:26:08 > 0:26:10His name will be added to the history books,
0:26:10 > 0:26:13alongside those other great names I said earlier.
0:26:15 > 0:26:18- Putting up a tent is a challenge. - I got the base.
0:26:18 > 0:26:21Putting up a tent on ice in hurricane conditions
0:26:21 > 0:26:23is an even bigger challenge.
0:26:27 > 0:26:29Congratulations to these men
0:26:29 > 0:26:31for taking on the bigger of the two challenges.
0:26:31 > 0:26:33It's good to push yourself.
0:26:33 > 0:26:37That's how we all become better people.
0:26:37 > 0:26:40This guy spent weeks working on this amazing ice sculpture.
0:26:51 > 0:26:53That's OK - the sculpture may be ruined
0:26:53 > 0:26:56but look how many ice cubes you've created.
0:26:56 > 0:26:57Cold drinks for everyone!
0:26:59 > 0:27:03That's it, the show is over. We have had an amazing time.
0:27:03 > 0:27:07We have laughed, we cried, we held each other tight.
0:27:07 > 0:27:10Before I say goodbye, I'd like to share my final thought.
0:27:10 > 0:27:14If you're going to be a fool, at least be a fool with dreams.
0:27:14 > 0:27:18Maybe then one day you won't be a fool at all.
0:27:18 > 0:27:21See you next time. So long, suckers.
0:27:21 > 0:27:24# Well, I pity the fool
0:27:28 > 0:27:32# I said I pity the fool
0:27:34 > 0:27:40# Oh, I pity the fool
0:27:41 > 0:27:45# I said I pity the fool
0:27:48 > 0:27:51# That falls in love with you
0:27:51 > 0:27:54# And expects you to be true
0:27:54 > 0:27:57# I pity the fool
0:28:00 > 0:28:02# Look at the people
0:28:03 > 0:28:05# I know you're wondering what they're doing
0:28:06 > 0:28:09# But they're just standing there
0:28:09 > 0:28:11# Watching you making a fool of me... #
0:28:11 > 0:28:13Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd