Episode 1

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0:00:02 > 0:00:04The following show is full of fools doing very foolish things.

0:00:04 > 0:00:07Although nobody involved was seriously hurt,

0:00:07 > 0:00:11you should not attempt to repeat anything you are about to see.

0:00:14 > 0:00:17Last year, Mr T went on a mission.

0:00:17 > 0:00:21He scoured the globe to find the world's craziest fools -

0:00:21 > 0:00:25those people with a lack of common sense, a terrifying

0:00:25 > 0:00:29disregard for health and safety, and whose favourite question is,

0:00:29 > 0:00:31"What's the worst that can happen?"

0:00:31 > 0:00:34And you loved it, but now you want more

0:00:34 > 0:00:37and you want them crazier and even more foolish!

0:00:37 > 0:00:42so, once again, Mr T has delivered an array of the world's least

0:00:42 > 0:00:43talented people!

0:00:45 > 0:00:46This is the...

0:00:57 > 0:01:01People of Britain, last year I gave up my valuable time to teach

0:01:01 > 0:01:03you how to stop being fools.

0:01:03 > 0:01:07I gave you rules and I shared my wisdom. Did you listen?

0:01:07 > 0:01:10No, you got even stupider!

0:01:10 > 0:01:12I look around and what do I see?

0:01:12 > 0:01:17More fools crashing cars, more fools jumping off roofs,

0:01:17 > 0:01:19more fools blowing up buildings.

0:01:19 > 0:01:23So now I'm back and we're going to do the whole thing again!

0:01:23 > 0:01:26And this time, people of Britain, you'd better pay attention

0:01:26 > 0:01:28because I'm not coming back again!

0:01:28 > 0:01:34The food sucks, it rains all the time, and everything is so tiny!

0:01:34 > 0:01:39I said my piece, let's start this show! Grrr!

0:01:45 > 0:01:49Cars have been around a long time, almost 20 years.

0:01:49 > 0:01:52I think it's time we learned how to drive them properly,

0:01:52 > 0:01:54don't you think?

0:01:54 > 0:01:56The United Kingdom of Great England.

0:01:59 > 0:02:02Here comes a taxi driver dropping off a passenger.

0:02:06 > 0:02:08Did he get a tip? I'll give him a tip.

0:02:08 > 0:02:10Never ever pick me up.

0:02:10 > 0:02:13You pick me up, I'll pick you up, then I'll drop you, hard!

0:02:16 > 0:02:17The USA.

0:02:21 > 0:02:24There's an old saying, "If at first you don't succeed,

0:02:24 > 0:02:26"destroy everything."

0:02:31 > 0:02:34It's not a great saying. Let's never say it again.

0:02:41 > 0:02:44How tall is this bridge in Argentina? I'll tell you.

0:02:47 > 0:02:51It's one inch lower than the height of stupidity, that's how tall it is!

0:02:54 > 0:02:57Here's a big truck looking for a good parking space.

0:03:03 > 0:03:04Perfect!

0:03:14 > 0:03:17The owner of this house obviously ordered a truck full of stupid,

0:03:17 > 0:03:18express delivery.

0:03:24 > 0:03:28This is Belgium. It's like Holland but four times as big.

0:03:28 > 0:03:29That's the good news.

0:03:29 > 0:03:33The bad news is they've got lots of dumb drivers over there.

0:03:33 > 0:03:35Look at all of them going the wrong way!

0:03:38 > 0:03:40Seems like only one guy knows what he's doing!

0:03:50 > 0:03:52Congratulations.

0:03:52 > 0:03:57Some people like off-roading. That's OK, but off-wheeling ain't a thing!

0:03:57 > 0:03:59Cars need to remain on their wheels at all times!

0:04:01 > 0:04:02Hey, come out of there! Oh!

0:04:02 > 0:04:05Yeah, get away, get away, get away, get away!

0:04:05 > 0:04:08You all right, kid?

0:04:08 > 0:04:10Don't worry, this guy was OK.

0:04:16 > 0:04:19This is what I call a no-point turn.

0:04:19 > 0:04:21No points for you, sucker!

0:04:29 > 0:04:30Here comes another fool.

0:04:40 > 0:04:41Oh, my God!

0:04:42 > 0:04:44Over to Canada.

0:04:45 > 0:04:48What do you get if you drive a big truck on an icy road

0:04:48 > 0:04:49halfway up a mountain?

0:04:53 > 0:04:56You get an appearance on World's Craziest Fools.

0:04:58 > 0:05:01I don't know if they get World's Craziest Fool in Canada.

0:05:01 > 0:05:04Thinking about it, it's probably best they don't.

0:05:12 > 0:05:14Don't worry, he's OK.

0:05:20 > 0:05:22Coming up next on the World's Craziest Fools,

0:05:22 > 0:05:25we got more of the craziest fools in the world,

0:05:25 > 0:05:28and that is how this show is going to continue!

0:05:28 > 0:05:30If you don't like it, switch to something else!

0:05:32 > 0:05:34The following is a true story.

0:05:34 > 0:05:39In 1992, a suspicious-looking package was delivered to the

0:05:39 > 0:05:42Territorial Army Centre in Bristol.

0:05:42 > 0:05:44With no record of where the package was from,

0:05:44 > 0:05:47the TA eventually decided that they should call the police.

0:05:47 > 0:05:50The police soon arrived and took stock of the situation

0:05:50 > 0:05:52and swiftly made a decision.

0:05:52 > 0:05:55They decided that this was not a job for them either, so called in

0:05:55 > 0:05:58the army bomb-disposal experts.

0:05:58 > 0:06:01When the army arrived, they evacuated the area, sealed it off

0:06:01 > 0:06:04and proceeded to carry out a controlled explosion

0:06:04 > 0:06:07of the suspicious-looking package.

0:06:07 > 0:06:10It was only after the device had been made safe that it was

0:06:10 > 0:06:12discovered that the suspicious-looking package

0:06:12 > 0:06:16was, in fact, a parcel full of leaflets on how to deal with

0:06:16 > 0:06:18suspicious-looking packages.

0:06:18 > 0:06:22The Territorial Army, the police and the army congratulated

0:06:22 > 0:06:24themselves on a job well done.

0:06:26 > 0:06:30Nothing beats working with your hands, but these next folks are

0:06:30 > 0:06:34so busy with their hands, they plain forgot how to use their heads!

0:06:34 > 0:06:37It's fools with tools! Watch and weep!

0:06:44 > 0:06:48The Netherlands in Holland. This guy has built his own shed.

0:06:48 > 0:06:51Looks like he did a pretty good job to me!

0:06:51 > 0:06:53He just forgot one thing...

0:06:53 > 0:06:54Oh!

0:06:54 > 0:06:56..a thousand screws!

0:06:56 > 0:06:57Oh!

0:07:01 > 0:07:03This guy is about to use a jet hose to clean his car.

0:07:07 > 0:07:09He clean knocked himself out instead!

0:07:11 > 0:07:15Here's a good rule for DIY - look after your wood

0:07:15 > 0:07:17and your wood will look after you,

0:07:17 > 0:07:19disrespect your wood

0:07:19 > 0:07:22and your wood will wait till you're not looking.

0:07:25 > 0:07:29How many fools does it take to change a light bulb? Three.

0:07:29 > 0:07:32One to remove the light fitting,

0:07:32 > 0:07:34one to get hit in the head, and

0:07:34 > 0:07:39the third to call the electrician to come and do the job right!

0:07:39 > 0:07:40The United States of Canada.

0:07:40 > 0:07:42These two guys are supposed to be working

0:07:42 > 0:07:45but instead, they're playing a game of catch.

0:07:48 > 0:07:49Don't worry, he's OK.

0:07:52 > 0:07:53Spain.

0:07:53 > 0:07:56This guy's trying to bypass employment laws by hiring

0:07:56 > 0:07:57a cat as his assistant.

0:07:59 > 0:08:00Bad idea.

0:08:00 > 0:08:03Not only are cats unsuitable for a workplace,

0:08:03 > 0:08:05they don't work well in a team!

0:08:08 > 0:08:09Germany.

0:08:09 > 0:08:13This man's seeing what happens if he knocks the bit of wood over.

0:08:14 > 0:08:15The house falls down!

0:08:18 > 0:08:22Curiosity and stupidity are not a good combination!

0:08:26 > 0:08:29I want to give you a lesson about gravity.

0:08:30 > 0:08:33And that was the lesson about gravity.

0:08:33 > 0:08:36It ain't no good for bananas and it sure ain't no good for you!

0:08:36 > 0:08:39Here's some fools who didn't listen and suffered!

0:09:40 > 0:09:41LAUGHTER

0:10:36 > 0:10:38Oh...

0:10:40 > 0:10:42Oh...

0:10:42 > 0:10:43Watch this.

0:10:51 > 0:10:53Oh!

0:10:54 > 0:10:55Watch this!

0:11:18 > 0:11:19Ow!

0:11:22 > 0:11:24You see this? This is a telephone.

0:11:24 > 0:11:27It's for important things, like calling up your mamma,

0:11:27 > 0:11:32or ordering pizza, or giving the OK for a commando team to attack!

0:11:32 > 0:11:36It's not for ringing up busy people and wasting their time!

0:11:36 > 0:11:37Listen to this!

0:12:38 > 0:12:40Delta Team is ready to launch.

0:12:40 > 0:12:44I repeat, Delta Team is ready to launch.

0:12:44 > 0:12:47Call me when the target has been liberated.

0:12:47 > 0:12:49It's not easy working with machinery.

0:12:49 > 0:12:52Here's some clips of people who tried and failed.

0:12:52 > 0:12:54I call it heavy duty fools!

0:12:54 > 0:12:55PHONE RINGS

0:12:56 > 0:12:58Right! No!

0:12:58 > 0:13:01I said liberate, not assassinate!

0:13:01 > 0:13:04Get out of there as fast as you can and never call this number again!

0:13:05 > 0:13:08Hoo-ha-ha! Hoo!

0:13:18 > 0:13:19We are back in Canada

0:13:19 > 0:13:23and we are about to witness a large container getting smashed.

0:13:23 > 0:13:27I have a container like that delivered to my house every morning!

0:13:27 > 0:13:30It contains my eggs I have for breakfast!

0:13:36 > 0:13:40This better not be my container! I need my eggs!

0:13:40 > 0:13:42I have a cement mixer like this.

0:13:42 > 0:13:44I use it to mix my eggs and make an omelette.

0:13:46 > 0:13:49These Spanish guys are turning it into a merry-go-round.

0:13:51 > 0:13:54They won't be merry when I go around to visit them!

0:13:55 > 0:13:58Puerto Rico. This is called a rolling roll.

0:13:59 > 0:14:01They use it to test if cars are any good.

0:14:04 > 0:14:07If this car was any good before, it sure ain't now!

0:14:10 > 0:14:12We're in Portugal

0:14:12 > 0:14:15and it's this guy's first day at construction school.

0:14:15 > 0:14:18Day one is learning how to drive the JCBs.

0:14:21 > 0:14:24I don't want to see what happens on day two!

0:14:24 > 0:14:25That's wrecking-ball day!

0:14:27 > 0:14:31Most people don't know that the T in Mr T stands for truck.

0:14:32 > 0:14:35Here's a truck smashing into the side of the road in Russia.

0:14:38 > 0:14:40I hope it wasn't delivering my eggs!

0:14:42 > 0:14:46I don't mean to go on about my eggs, but if anyone sees them,

0:14:46 > 0:14:47please get 'em to me.

0:14:47 > 0:14:51Put a stamp on them and send 'em to Mr T, USA.

0:14:51 > 0:14:54Anyway, here's some bad stuff about to happen in Poland.

0:15:00 > 0:15:05Back to Portugal and the JCB driving day at the construction school.

0:15:07 > 0:15:09That's it, you nailed it!

0:15:11 > 0:15:14Here's your certificate. Now get out of my face!

0:15:17 > 0:15:20Every year, millions of people all over the world get married.

0:15:20 > 0:15:22That's a nice story.

0:15:22 > 0:15:25What ain't such a nice story is when everyone has to spend

0:15:25 > 0:15:28the next 50 years looking at their stupid photos!

0:15:28 > 0:15:31Here's some rules for wedding photo fools!

0:15:35 > 0:15:40Mr T's rules for wedding photo fools.

0:15:40 > 0:15:43It's good to have complementary interests.

0:15:43 > 0:15:46If one of you likes watching the TV, it helps if the other is a TV.

0:15:50 > 0:15:53Some men will try to get lucky with a bridesmaid at

0:15:53 > 0:15:58any wedding and sometimes a polite "No, thank you" just won't suffice.

0:16:01 > 0:16:04Be aware that not everyone will be pleased with your

0:16:04 > 0:16:08choice of partner, but try and make sure you've reconciled any

0:16:08 > 0:16:09differences before the big day.

0:16:13 > 0:16:17When you jokingly refer to it as a shotgun wedding,

0:16:17 > 0:16:18be careful who's listening.

0:16:22 > 0:16:25When the priest says, "You may now kiss the bride,"

0:16:25 > 0:16:30the words "you" and "bride" only refer to the groom and bride.

0:16:30 > 0:16:31It is not a free-for-all.

0:16:35 > 0:16:37It is traditional to carry your

0:16:37 > 0:16:41bride over the threshold of your new house.

0:16:41 > 0:16:43don't mistake that for riding her like a unicorn

0:16:43 > 0:16:45on a magic sheepskin rug.

0:16:51 > 0:16:54Oh, hi. You just found me multi-tasking.

0:16:54 > 0:16:57Coming up next, it's some fools within the family environment,

0:16:57 > 0:16:59or, as I like to call it, family fools!

0:17:01 > 0:17:05"Dear Diary, today I mostly worked out."

0:18:48 > 0:18:50Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

0:18:53 > 0:18:55Oh, my God!

0:18:55 > 0:18:58And now it's time for a word from our sponsors.

0:19:00 > 0:19:01Mr T is proud to present a new

0:19:01 > 0:19:03product from T-Industries.

0:19:07 > 0:19:08Concrete owners...

0:19:10 > 0:19:14..does your municipal area sometimes feel like a fool magnet?

0:19:16 > 0:19:19Do you use your valuable elbow grease trying to remove

0:19:19 > 0:19:23fools' elbow stains from your delicious concrete areas?

0:19:24 > 0:19:27Try new Concrete Fool Repellent

0:19:27 > 0:19:29from T-Industries.

0:19:29 > 0:19:30One quick application will

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0:19:32 > 0:19:35concrete area fool-free for up to 24 hours.

0:19:37 > 0:19:39No more hard-to-shift face fluid...

0:19:41 > 0:19:43..no stubborn groinal stains.

0:19:46 > 0:19:50Concrete Fool Repellent does exactly as the name suggests -

0:19:50 > 0:19:54it repels fools from their beloved concrete,

0:19:54 > 0:19:56from T-Industries.

0:19:56 > 0:19:59Also try brand new Handrail Fool Repellent for repelling

0:19:59 > 0:20:02fools from your handrails,

0:20:02 > 0:20:04also from T-Industries.

0:20:06 > 0:20:08T-industries, making it all better

0:20:08 > 0:20:09since the 1980s.

0:20:11 > 0:20:13This is a tennis racket.

0:20:13 > 0:20:16Grrr, I hate tennis! WHACK, SCREAM

0:20:16 > 0:20:19Back in the '80s, I won seven Wimbledons in a row,

0:20:19 > 0:20:22but they disqualified me because I used my bare hands.

0:20:22 > 0:20:26That's why you won't see any tennis clips on my show!

0:20:26 > 0:20:29But I've got plenty of other sport fools, like these!

0:20:38 > 0:20:42First up, Australia. What do you people call this?

0:20:42 > 0:20:44Football? This ain't football!

0:20:44 > 0:20:48Football is where you put on a helmet and attack someone.

0:20:48 > 0:20:50I don't know what you call this.

0:20:50 > 0:20:52We're going to have to come up with a new name for it.

0:20:52 > 0:20:54Let me think about it. I'll get back to you.

0:20:55 > 0:20:57It's recording.

0:20:57 > 0:21:00This guy's trying to throw the basketball over his shoulder

0:21:00 > 0:21:02directly into the basket.

0:21:02 > 0:21:03Is he going to do it?

0:21:05 > 0:21:08Slam dunk! Nice work, Kowalski.

0:21:08 > 0:21:09You're back on the team.

0:21:11 > 0:21:15Sport ain't about winning, it's about taking part!

0:21:15 > 0:21:19But more importantly, it's about winning! Take a look at this lady.

0:21:19 > 0:21:22She'll do anything to make sure she crosses the line first!

0:21:28 > 0:21:30What's wrong with this game of volleyball?

0:21:30 > 0:21:34I'll give you a clue - there's no net! Also, there's no court.

0:21:36 > 0:21:39And no spectators! This is some bad volleyball!

0:21:41 > 0:21:45Softball. People call it softball until they get hit.

0:21:45 > 0:21:46Ow!

0:21:46 > 0:21:49Then they call it really hard-ball!

0:21:49 > 0:21:53I'm still thinking about what to call this. How about stupid-ball?

0:21:55 > 0:21:56Argh!

0:21:56 > 0:21:59All you have to do is hit the thing through a couple of sticks

0:21:59 > 0:22:01and knock an old lady over!

0:22:01 > 0:22:03- Seems pretty stupid to me!- Argh!

0:22:03 > 0:22:06I like golf, but this shot is going to be tricky

0:22:06 > 0:22:08with that buggy in the way.

0:22:10 > 0:22:11The tree also is a hazard.

0:22:13 > 0:22:17Hazard one, meet hazard two. Problem solved!

0:22:21 > 0:22:23OK, I'm bored with stupid-ball.

0:22:23 > 0:22:25Let's watch something else.

0:22:30 > 0:22:32Not everyone can be good at sports,

0:22:32 > 0:22:35but some of you even struggle with more basic things,

0:22:35 > 0:22:39like driving cars, or opening doors, or wrestling bears!

0:22:39 > 0:22:43That's why I've decided to help you out by setting up my very own

0:22:43 > 0:22:44teaching facility.

0:22:44 > 0:22:48I'm calling it Mr T's School For Fools. Sound the bell!

0:22:48 > 0:22:52Class is about to begin! Hmm!

0:22:56 > 0:22:59Hello and welcome to Mr T's School For Fools.

0:23:01 > 0:23:05What is history? History is the past.

0:23:05 > 0:23:08Everything that happens, that's history.

0:23:08 > 0:23:11Me telling you what history is, that's now history.

0:23:11 > 0:23:14Here are some famous examples of history.

0:23:16 > 0:23:18First up, footage from The Titanic.

0:23:26 > 0:23:28So that's how The Titanic crashed.

0:23:28 > 0:23:33Next up, the Battle of Hastings.

0:23:37 > 0:23:38So as you can see,

0:23:38 > 0:23:42as long as there has been history there have been fools.

0:23:42 > 0:23:45We need to learn from them so we don't make the same mistakes.

0:23:45 > 0:23:49This entire class is now history. Class dismissed!

0:23:52 > 0:23:56When people have a long week, they go out dancing and let their hair down.

0:23:56 > 0:23:59But these fools are letting more than their hair down.

0:23:59 > 0:24:01They're letting us all down!

0:24:10 > 0:24:14Looks like someone's breakdancing lesson hasn't paid off.

0:24:16 > 0:24:20Unless that's what they've been teaching him to do.

0:24:20 > 0:24:22If that's what they've been teaching him to do,

0:24:22 > 0:24:24those are some bad lessons.

0:24:28 > 0:24:31Are those my arctic camouflage trousers?

0:24:31 > 0:24:34You better not split those trousers, fool.

0:24:34 > 0:24:37They've been with me through some tough missions.

0:24:37 > 0:24:41If it wasn't for those trousers, I would be a dead man.

0:24:45 > 0:24:49Why can't these fools use their roof area for something more worthwhile,

0:24:49 > 0:24:52like having a barbecue or growing some plants

0:24:52 > 0:24:54or looking after a beehive?

0:24:59 > 0:25:01If what you're doing is less worthwhile

0:25:01 > 0:25:03than looking after a beehive,

0:25:03 > 0:25:05you should be doing something else!

0:25:07 > 0:25:11You've heard the phrase "dance like nobody is watching"?

0:25:11 > 0:25:15Sometimes it pays to recognise that people are watching - and filming.

0:25:21 > 0:25:24Some people call this jazzercise.

0:25:24 > 0:25:26I've got another name for it - ugly.

0:25:26 > 0:25:28It's just plain ugly.

0:25:32 > 0:25:36This guy thinks he's good at getting down.

0:25:36 > 0:25:38He is! Look at him!

0:25:40 > 0:25:42But I like his style.

0:25:44 > 0:25:46And the crowd love it.

0:25:48 > 0:25:50What a showman.

0:25:50 > 0:25:53There's a fine line between breakdancing...

0:25:54 > 0:25:56..and breaking.

0:26:05 > 0:26:07Who are these people?

0:26:07 > 0:26:09I want names and addresses

0:26:09 > 0:26:10and photo IDs!

0:26:10 > 0:26:14One visit from Mr T and all this stuff will stop.

0:26:14 > 0:26:16I am serious.

0:26:16 > 0:26:18I want details.

0:26:19 > 0:26:22Are you people seeing this too?

0:26:22 > 0:26:25I'm not sure that pizza was a good idea. I think it was a bad pizza.

0:26:27 > 0:26:30What kind of mushroom did they use on that thing?

0:26:39 > 0:26:41Look what's going on here.

0:26:44 > 0:26:47I've seen a lot of jibber-jabber in my time

0:26:47 > 0:26:50but I've never seen it coming out of someone's feet.

0:26:50 > 0:26:52If you can't use your feet properly,

0:26:52 > 0:26:54take them off and give them to someone who can.

0:27:01 > 0:27:02Ow!

0:27:07 > 0:27:09MUSIC STOPS

0:27:09 > 0:27:13"Oh!" Are you going to keep going until you break something, Alex?

0:27:13 > 0:27:15Have a clue!

0:27:15 > 0:27:18You are not going to be the great, great dancer you think you are.

0:27:18 > 0:27:21Your mamma just said it all.

0:27:21 > 0:27:22You're good,

0:27:22 > 0:27:25but you are not going to get up to those little Asians' level.

0:27:25 > 0:27:27Listen to your mamma, fool!

0:27:27 > 0:27:30It's true! You're just destroying your body.

0:27:30 > 0:27:31Little Asians?

0:27:31 > 0:27:34Time flies when you're having fun.

0:27:34 > 0:27:36Today's show was three hours long,

0:27:36 > 0:27:39but I bet it felt a lot shorter, right?

0:27:39 > 0:27:43Sadly, it's over. There's just time for my final thought.

0:27:43 > 0:27:46They say, "Too many cooks spoil the broth,"

0:27:46 > 0:27:50but they also say, "Many hands make light work," so maybe you

0:27:50 > 0:27:54should just ignore what other people say and live life your own way.

0:27:54 > 0:27:57Your way pretty cool too. Take it easy out there.

0:27:57 > 0:27:58So long, suckers!

0:27:59 > 0:28:01# Well, I pity the fool

0:28:04 > 0:28:06# I said I pity the fool

0:28:08 > 0:28:13# You know, I pity the fool

0:28:14 > 0:28:17# I said I pity the fool

0:28:20 > 0:28:23# That falls in love with you

0:28:23 > 0:28:25# And expects you to be true

0:28:25 > 0:28:28# I pity the fool... #

0:28:30 > 0:28:32Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd