0:00:02 > 0:00:05The following show is full of fools doing VERY foolish things.
0:00:05 > 0:00:07Although nobody involved was seriously hurt,
0:00:07 > 0:00:11you should not attempt to repeat anything you are about to see.
0:00:14 > 0:00:17Last year, Mr T went on a mission.
0:00:17 > 0:00:23He scoured the globe to find the World's Craziest Fools - those people
0:00:23 > 0:00:26with a lack of common sense, a terrifying disregard for health and safety,
0:00:26 > 0:00:32and whose favourite question is, "What's the worst that can happen?" And you loved it.
0:00:32 > 0:00:37But now, you want more - and you want them crazier and even more foolish.
0:00:37 > 0:00:42So once again, Mr T has delivered an array of the world's least talented people.
0:00:44 > 0:00:48This is the World's Craziest Fools...
0:00:48 > 0:00:50Return Of The Fools.
0:00:55 > 0:00:57The world is a dangerous place.
0:00:57 > 0:01:01Seems like everywhere you look, you got people doing stupid things,
0:01:01 > 0:01:05especially if you are looking at BBC Three for the next 30 minutes.
0:01:05 > 0:01:08On today's show, we got fools smashing up shops,
0:01:08 > 0:01:12fools diving off roofs, fools skiing off mountains.
0:01:12 > 0:01:15But don't worry, I'm here to guide you through it.
0:01:15 > 0:01:19You can relax. You're safe now. You're safe.
0:01:30 > 0:01:34In sport, you got to overcome every hurdle to be the best,
0:01:34 > 0:01:36especially if it's hurdling.
0:01:36 > 0:01:38Here are some fools that failed.
0:01:40 > 0:01:42First up, basketball.
0:01:42 > 0:01:46This little kid is practising so he can make it in the big leagues.
0:01:50 > 0:01:52He's going to be a big smash.
0:01:56 > 0:01:58Next up, steeplechase.
0:01:58 > 0:02:00Come on, suckers!
0:02:00 > 0:02:03You think these people are all gathered to watch a race?
0:02:03 > 0:02:06They want to see someone get wet. Give them a show!
0:02:06 > 0:02:08GROANING
0:02:08 > 0:02:13Good work, number 17. Gold medal for you.
0:02:15 > 0:02:20When playing sports, it's important to know what sport you're playing.
0:02:20 > 0:02:23For example, if you're standing behind a starting line
0:02:23 > 0:02:26with seven other guys, it's probably a race.
0:02:26 > 0:02:27STARTING WHISTLE BLOWS
0:02:27 > 0:02:29LAUGHTER
0:02:29 > 0:02:34And if you're in a race, don't start busting out gymnastic moves.
0:02:41 > 0:02:44HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYS
0:02:47 > 0:02:49I do know a lot about this game.
0:02:49 > 0:02:54The cricket strikers are trying to score a goal basket with their racket sticks.
0:02:56 > 0:02:58I think that's six points.
0:03:00 > 0:03:03People think sport is a physical thing.
0:03:03 > 0:03:06It's actually 90% mental.
0:03:06 > 0:03:10If you want to win, all you got to do is use your head.
0:03:10 > 0:03:11Here's the proof.
0:03:14 > 0:03:15CHEERING
0:03:15 > 0:03:19These fans are watching a game of American football.
0:03:19 > 0:03:22Or, to use the correct term, football.
0:03:22 > 0:03:24Keep your eye on number 88.
0:03:24 > 0:03:27Yeah! Yeah!
0:03:27 > 0:03:30- MAN:- We got that on video!
0:03:30 > 0:03:35Nice work, big guy. I hope you got a helmet to match that jersey,
0:03:35 > 0:03:39cos when your mama get home, she's gonna slap you around the head!
0:03:39 > 0:03:41- HE SHOUTS - Yeah! Let's go, Giants!
0:03:41 > 0:03:44There are three types of criminals -
0:03:44 > 0:03:48the ones who don't get caught, the ones who do get caught
0:03:48 > 0:03:51and the ones that are so dumb they catch themselves,
0:03:51 > 0:03:54leaving the police time to catch the first type of criminals.
0:03:54 > 0:03:56Listen to this.
0:03:57 > 0:03:59The following is a true story.
0:04:02 > 0:04:05A woman in Penn Valley, California, entered a local shop
0:04:05 > 0:04:07with one thing on her mind - theft.
0:04:07 > 0:04:11After picking up a few items from around the store, she ducked down
0:04:11 > 0:04:14between the aisles to conceal her contraband.
0:04:14 > 0:04:18She made sure that she was not seen by the clerk, but sadly did not
0:04:18 > 0:04:21display the same level of vigilance for the surveillance camera
0:04:21 > 0:04:23that was pointing directly at her.
0:04:23 > 0:04:27She walked confidently up to the counter and paid for only one item.
0:04:27 > 0:04:31The shop assistant, unaware at this stage that her bag was stuffed
0:04:31 > 0:04:34with concealed goods from the store, allowed her to leave.
0:04:34 > 0:04:38However, on her way out, the thief noticed a stall selling tickets
0:04:38 > 0:04:39for a local raffle.
0:04:39 > 0:04:43Emboldened by her success and perhaps believing this was
0:04:43 > 0:04:47her lucky day, she stopped by the stall to enter the raffle
0:04:47 > 0:04:50and left the shop in the hope of further riches to come.
0:04:50 > 0:04:53But the stars, it seems, were not in alignment for her that day.
0:04:53 > 0:04:55Soon after she returned home,
0:04:55 > 0:04:58she received a knock at the door from the police.
0:04:58 > 0:05:01They had managed to track her down, using her name, address
0:05:01 > 0:05:06and phone number that she had supplied the organisers of the raffle and, thus, the store.
0:05:06 > 0:05:08They arrested her immediately.
0:05:08 > 0:05:12Fortune, it seems, does not favour the foolish.
0:05:14 > 0:05:19Everyone knows that water is made from hydrogen and oxygen,
0:05:19 > 0:05:24but fools think they can improve on that by adding themselves to it.
0:05:24 > 0:05:26Wrap your eyes around this!
0:05:31 > 0:05:35This fool is clearly about to do something stupid.
0:05:35 > 0:05:37At least he's wearing a safety hat.
0:05:37 > 0:05:41He's also wearing his safety glasses and his safety moustache.
0:05:47 > 0:05:50You can never wear enough protection if you're a fool.
0:05:55 > 0:05:59Always make sure you use the right equipment for water volleyball.
0:05:59 > 0:06:01WOMAN SCREAMS
0:06:01 > 0:06:05If your ball has two arms, two legs and screams when you chuck it
0:06:05 > 0:06:08in the air, you may have picked up the wrong item.
0:06:12 > 0:06:14MAN SCREAMS
0:06:14 > 0:06:17This is the worst Tour de France I've ever seen!
0:06:17 > 0:06:19MAN SCREAMS
0:06:20 > 0:06:24This young athlete's about to change diving forever.
0:06:28 > 0:06:32A reverse somersault, into a head plant, into a belly flop.
0:06:32 > 0:06:35Take that, rule book! You just got rewritten.
0:06:35 > 0:06:39Here's another page ripped out of the diving rule book.
0:06:41 > 0:06:45An arms-up, ankle-first, forward leap.
0:06:45 > 0:06:47Ooh!
0:06:47 > 0:06:51Fools are drawn to water. Nobody knows why.
0:06:51 > 0:06:55They just get an overwhelming urge to throw themselves in it.
0:06:55 > 0:06:57Oh-h-h!
0:06:57 > 0:06:59It's one of nature's mysteries.
0:07:02 > 0:07:07That diving rule book is taking a real beating today.
0:07:07 > 0:07:11Over to Australia, where this guy's about to take one for the team.
0:07:14 > 0:07:18Unfortunately for him, he's not on a team. He's all by himself.
0:07:18 > 0:07:20He just took that for no reason.
0:07:22 > 0:07:26See if you can spot the fool in this clip. I'll give you a clue.
0:07:26 > 0:07:30He's a big guy, and he's wearing an orange top.
0:07:30 > 0:07:33Have you seen him yet?
0:07:33 > 0:07:36If not, try turning your chair around
0:07:36 > 0:07:38so you can face the television screen.
0:07:41 > 0:07:44LAUGHTER
0:07:48 > 0:07:50"Dear The Queen,
0:07:50 > 0:07:56"unfortunately I am going to have to turn down your kind offer
0:07:56 > 0:08:03"of succeeding you to the throne as the crown would ruin my hair.
0:08:03 > 0:08:06"Yours truly, Mr T."
0:08:06 > 0:08:07Sorry about that.
0:08:07 > 0:08:10I was just taking care of some personal business.
0:08:10 > 0:08:12Here's some clips of assorted fools.
0:08:20 > 0:08:24First up, a photographer at a wedding.
0:08:24 > 0:08:25- PHOTOGRAPHER:- Argh!
0:08:25 > 0:08:26Splash down!
0:08:26 > 0:08:29If someone needs to be taking photos of your photographer,
0:08:29 > 0:08:32you need to get a new photographer.
0:08:35 > 0:08:38New York City subway. Next stop, Painsville.
0:08:38 > 0:08:40- COMMUTERS:- Ooooh!
0:08:40 > 0:08:43No matter how much I warn people,
0:08:43 > 0:08:46they still want to try to get to Painsville.
0:08:50 > 0:08:54If you can't tell the difference between a road and a river...
0:08:56 > 0:08:57..look for the fish.
0:08:57 > 0:09:01If there's lots of fish, you be biking on a river by mistake.
0:09:05 > 0:09:08Next up, take a look at this clip from Brazil.
0:09:08 > 0:09:11These guys are either too big for their car,
0:09:11 > 0:09:14or their car's too small for them.
0:09:16 > 0:09:20That's no longer something they have to worry about.
0:09:26 > 0:09:31This little girl has climbed into a claw machine, and now she's stuck.
0:09:35 > 0:09:37Her parents have a decision.
0:09:37 > 0:09:40Do they use their last quarter to get her back out,
0:09:40 > 0:09:44or do they go for one of those cute stuffed zebras?
0:09:44 > 0:09:45It's a real tough one.
0:09:49 > 0:09:52Bikes take you from A to B.
0:09:54 > 0:09:56Oh-hoo! Oh, my God!
0:09:56 > 0:10:00Sometimes, they go all the way to A&E.
0:10:06 > 0:10:08MAN LAUGHS
0:10:08 > 0:10:12I don't know what the questions was, but the answer is painkillers.
0:10:14 > 0:10:17A back flip is a great way to start a party.
0:10:19 > 0:10:22Cracking your face on the kitchen floor is a great way to end a party.
0:10:24 > 0:10:28They say it's unlucky to walk under a ladder. It's also unlucky
0:10:28 > 0:10:29to fall off the top of a ladder.
0:10:32 > 0:10:35Ladders are generally unlucky.
0:10:35 > 0:10:37When I'm elected president of the universe,
0:10:37 > 0:10:39I intend to have them banned.
0:10:39 > 0:10:43If you want me to become president of the universe,
0:10:43 > 0:10:44which you do,
0:10:44 > 0:10:48you need to go online and sign my petition.
0:10:48 > 0:10:52When I reach two billion signatures, I'll start my campaign.
0:10:52 > 0:10:54- MAN FILMING:- Come back this way without falling off
0:10:54 > 0:10:56and I'll be impressed.
0:10:56 > 0:10:57- WOMAN:- Without falling...
0:10:59 > 0:11:01Some people have got a mountain to climb
0:11:01 > 0:11:03if they want to achieve their ambitions.
0:11:03 > 0:11:06If this man's ambitions are to get his bag back,
0:11:06 > 0:11:08then that saying is especially true.
0:11:26 > 0:11:31This guy was OK, although his mom was real angry with him.
0:11:31 > 0:11:35Hello, is that 911? Yeah.
0:11:35 > 0:11:41I just wanted to say you're doing a great job. OK. Bye. Bye-bye.
0:11:41 > 0:11:47No, you hang up. Nah. You hang up! OK.
0:11:48 > 0:11:51Those are the kind of calls the police like to receive,
0:11:51 > 0:11:53not ones like these.
0:11:53 > 0:11:55TELEPHONE RINGS
0:12:39 > 0:12:41DIALLING TONE
0:12:42 > 0:12:47I'm hungry for some clips of fools with a side order of dipsticks.
0:12:47 > 0:12:49It's delicious.
0:13:00 > 0:13:03- MAN:- Yeah, now you got it, Maddox.
0:13:03 > 0:13:04Yeah, bro!
0:13:07 > 0:13:08Cheese, tomatoes...
0:13:09 > 0:13:11Pepperoni...
0:13:14 > 0:13:16Mushroom, peppers and extra beef...
0:13:17 > 0:13:20Extra cheese...
0:13:20 > 0:13:21Extra beef too, you know.
0:13:21 > 0:13:23Yeah, that's the way I like it.
0:13:26 > 0:13:28CHILD SCREAMS
0:13:40 > 0:13:42- WOMAN:- Back up so he can throw it to you.
0:13:42 > 0:13:44Oh, my gosh!
0:14:13 > 0:14:16CHILD CRIES
0:14:59 > 0:15:04- WOMAN:- Here it goes. All right, Andrew. This is my not-so-smart kid.
0:15:26 > 0:15:28TRUCK HORN
0:15:34 > 0:15:37# Happy birthday to you. #
0:15:37 > 0:15:41- CLOWN:- Cha, cha, cha. Go ahead and blow out the cand...
0:15:44 > 0:15:45CHILDREN LAUGH
0:15:45 > 0:15:47PARTY HOOTERS
0:15:59 > 0:16:00- WOMAN:- Oh! Ow!
0:16:23 > 0:16:27As if fools weren't dangerous enough on their own, some of them
0:16:27 > 0:16:31go around on roller-skates and skateboards and other things.
0:16:31 > 0:16:34The good news is, they usually get their comeuppance.
0:16:34 > 0:16:38Coming up, some comeuppance, coming up now.
0:16:50 > 0:16:52First up, this happens.
0:16:55 > 0:17:00That lamppost had a great view of that piece of foolishness.
0:17:00 > 0:17:03It was having a really boring day before those two chumps
0:17:03 > 0:17:05came along and livened things right up.
0:17:07 > 0:17:10How can you tell if you're cycling too fast?
0:17:13 > 0:17:15When that happens.
0:17:16 > 0:17:18Watch your speed, people!
0:17:18 > 0:17:22Also, wear a seatbelt, especially if you're on a bicycle.
0:17:22 > 0:17:24Here's a fool on a bike in the woods.
0:17:28 > 0:17:30The woods is the best place for him.
0:17:32 > 0:17:35He's not safe to be around normal people like you and me.
0:17:38 > 0:17:42I'm assuming you are normal. You might be a fool like this girl.
0:17:46 > 0:17:48- WOMAN:- Oh, Jesus!
0:17:48 > 0:17:52If you're a fool, I'm going to have to terminate our friendship.
0:17:52 > 0:17:53Stop calling me.
0:17:57 > 0:17:59And don't try finding me on Facebook either.
0:18:02 > 0:18:04I haven't put my face in a book.
0:18:04 > 0:18:07My face is OK where it is, thank you very much.
0:18:12 > 0:18:14You're going to need a bigger fence.
0:18:18 > 0:18:23I can't help but feel the wrong person is wearing all the protective gear in this clip.
0:18:27 > 0:18:30If you can't stand the heat, get out of the roller disco!
0:18:31 > 0:18:34You know you're bad at skateboarding
0:18:34 > 0:18:36if your skateboard wants to punch you in the face.
0:18:49 > 0:18:53Here's another guy who irritated his skateboard into giving him a slap.
0:18:56 > 0:19:00These poor skateboards are going through a lot today.
0:19:01 > 0:19:05A lot of men take their shirts off before attempting stupid things.
0:19:11 > 0:19:14It doesn't make the clips any easier to watch.
0:19:21 > 0:19:24This skateboarder is trying to jump over a chain.
0:19:24 > 0:19:26At least he's got his shirt on.
0:19:26 > 0:19:29That's about the only good thing I can say about him.
0:19:30 > 0:19:34A lot of people have gathered to see our next bit of stupidity.
0:19:34 > 0:19:36Maybe they've seen this guy before.
0:19:38 > 0:19:40They know he's going to pull off something
0:19:40 > 0:19:42pretty special in the failure department.
0:19:42 > 0:19:43They were right.
0:19:55 > 0:19:56Night, night, sucker.
0:19:57 > 0:20:02I hope you're dreaming of a place where everything has padded corners.
0:20:05 > 0:20:07LAUGHTER
0:20:07 > 0:20:10This kid better get used to life in the gutter.
0:20:10 > 0:20:12I think he's going to spend a lot of time there.
0:20:15 > 0:20:18This is either an enormous skateboard or a tiny man.
0:20:23 > 0:20:26I'm going to go with enormous skateboard
0:20:26 > 0:20:30cos if this is a tiny man, then this clip shouldn't be on
0:20:30 > 0:20:32World's Craziest Fools,
0:20:32 > 0:20:34it should be on World's Tiniest People.
0:20:34 > 0:20:37And I don't present that show. Not yet, anyway.
0:20:42 > 0:20:46This fool is about to attempt the loop the loop.
0:20:49 > 0:20:52He's loop the loopy, if you ask me.
0:20:52 > 0:20:55Someone had better be writing these jokes down
0:20:55 > 0:20:58and putting them in Mr T's Joke Book -
0:20:58 > 0:21:02contains at least 12 great jokes - coming to stores near you soon.
0:21:08 > 0:21:09Put on your sun cream.
0:21:09 > 0:21:12It's time for some rules for holiday fools.
0:21:12 > 0:21:15You don't need to put on your sun cream, by the way.
0:21:15 > 0:21:17It's just television.
0:21:24 > 0:21:27Mr T's rules for holidaying fools.
0:21:28 > 0:21:30Rule one.
0:21:30 > 0:21:33If your hotel is right on the beach, that's good.
0:21:33 > 0:21:37If your plane is right on the beach, that's bad.
0:21:37 > 0:21:39Rule two.
0:21:39 > 0:21:42Having a whale of a time and having a time with a whale
0:21:42 > 0:21:44are very different things.
0:21:44 > 0:21:46Always check the brochure.
0:21:46 > 0:21:48Rule three.
0:21:48 > 0:21:51When you're hitting the beach, be careful of camel toe...
0:21:51 > 0:21:54and leg...and mouth...
0:21:54 > 0:21:57and, basically, be careful of the whole camel.
0:21:57 > 0:21:58Rule four.
0:21:58 > 0:22:02Remember that while some laws are different abroad,
0:22:02 > 0:22:05the laws of physics are roughly the same.
0:22:05 > 0:22:07And finally, rule five.
0:22:07 > 0:22:11Getting up close to tourist attractions is all very well,
0:22:11 > 0:22:13but sometimes it pays to take a step back.
0:22:15 > 0:22:18Hey, you! Yes, you!
0:22:18 > 0:22:20Put that down and concentrate on this.
0:22:25 > 0:22:28Welcome to Mr T's School For Fools.
0:22:29 > 0:22:34What's up, kids? Today's lesson is biology. What is biology?
0:22:34 > 0:22:36It's animals. Animals are like us,
0:22:36 > 0:22:40only they got more claws and fur and teeth and things.
0:22:40 > 0:22:43Also, they don't like it when you try to wrestle with them.
0:22:43 > 0:22:46I'm going to show you some examples of animals
0:22:46 > 0:22:50so you can recognise them if you see one walking down the street.
0:23:17 > 0:23:19So, now you know what all the animals look like.
0:23:19 > 0:23:23If you are confused, just ask Mr B.
0:23:23 > 0:23:25He's my deputy head.
0:23:25 > 0:23:26Class dismissed.
0:23:28 > 0:23:31Did you know that there are over 100 different types
0:23:31 > 0:23:33of animals on the Earth?
0:23:33 > 0:23:37There are lions and tigers and sharks and other ones, too.
0:23:37 > 0:23:39They all have one thing in common.
0:23:39 > 0:23:42They don't like it if you mess with them.
0:23:45 > 0:23:47ROARING
0:23:54 > 0:23:57LAUGHTER
0:23:57 > 0:24:00So everyone thought the first animal to rise up against man
0:24:00 > 0:24:03would be the ape, but it was the geese.
0:24:03 > 0:24:05Just as I predicted.
0:24:09 > 0:24:12Next, I said it would be cats.
0:24:15 > 0:24:19They're going to come for us one at a time.
0:24:22 > 0:24:25This isn't nothing to do with animals rising.
0:24:25 > 0:24:28This is just a fool getting too close to a cow
0:24:28 > 0:24:32and getting kicked in the face. Next time, buy your milk at a shop.
0:24:33 > 0:24:37Lapland, home of Santa and his reindeers.
0:24:40 > 0:24:45Deers are frisky. Always stay on your guard when they're near.
0:24:45 > 0:24:48You ain't safe indoors either. Here comes another deer...
0:24:48 > 0:24:52SCREAMING ..looking for someone to attack or get frisky with.
0:24:52 > 0:24:55These people are doing the right thing
0:24:55 > 0:24:59by screaming and waving their hands around and running out of the way.
0:25:00 > 0:25:02SCREAMING
0:25:09 > 0:25:11This guy's pain is your gain.
0:25:16 > 0:25:18HE GROANS
0:25:19 > 0:25:23Don't worry. The only thing that was hurt was his pride.
0:25:26 > 0:25:30This guy has set up a camera so he can propose to his girlfriend.
0:25:30 > 0:25:33Unfortunately, he brought his dog along for the ride.
0:25:33 > 0:25:37Next time you're planning a special moment
0:25:37 > 0:25:39between you and your lady, leave Fido home.
0:25:39 > 0:25:42Three's a crowd, especially when number three is a dog.
0:25:46 > 0:25:49You're about to watch a story of forbidden love.
0:25:49 > 0:25:50It's not a very good story.
0:25:53 > 0:25:57The plot thin and the characterisation is weak.
0:25:57 > 0:25:58It needs a lot of work.
0:26:01 > 0:26:06Los Angeles, USA. You see a lot of crazy things in LA.
0:26:06 > 0:26:10I once saw a man riding another man dressed as a horse.
0:26:10 > 0:26:13Or maybe it was just a man riding a horse.
0:26:13 > 0:26:16Anyway, this is footage of a bear that got loose
0:26:16 > 0:26:18and roaming the streets.
0:26:18 > 0:26:20Or maybe it's a man dressed as a bear.
0:26:20 > 0:26:24You can never be 100% sure. That's LA.
0:26:24 > 0:26:26No! No!
0:26:26 > 0:26:27SCREAMING
0:26:27 > 0:26:32Whether it's holy because God loves it or whether God loves it because of its holiness...
0:26:32 > 0:26:35So, say, take a table or something and say...
0:26:35 > 0:26:37Is this cat as bored as everyone else?
0:26:37 > 0:26:40I'm guessing he's looking for the off button.
0:26:47 > 0:26:51What have I told you people? Always wear your seatbelt,
0:26:51 > 0:26:53especially if you're on a horse.
0:26:54 > 0:26:58They don't put them on there for fun.
0:27:02 > 0:27:04This old couple think they're pretty safe.
0:27:04 > 0:27:06They can see the horses in front of them.
0:27:06 > 0:27:08They're calm and under control.
0:27:12 > 0:27:15But horses can attack from anywhere at any time.
0:27:15 > 0:27:16Never let your guard down.
0:27:19 > 0:27:22Don't worry, they're animals. They were OK.
0:27:27 > 0:27:30Working out at a gym is more fun if you do it with a friend.
0:27:30 > 0:27:32So while you're lifting some weights,
0:27:32 > 0:27:36ain't no reason why your dog can't get in a few squats.
0:27:44 > 0:27:46So there we go. The end of another show.
0:27:46 > 0:27:50And remember, it takes a lot to make a fool of yourself.
0:27:50 > 0:27:55That's right. It takes skateboards, rivers, cars, parachutes,
0:27:55 > 0:27:59wet floors, lack of judgment, false confidence
0:27:59 > 0:28:01and a never-say-die attitude.
0:28:01 > 0:28:05In conclusion, it's a lot easier not being a fool at all.
0:28:05 > 0:28:09Until next time, so long, suckers.
0:28:09 > 0:28:12# Well, I pity the fool
0:28:14 > 0:28:17# I said I pity the fool
0:28:19 > 0:28:23# You know I pity the fool
0:28:24 > 0:28:27# I said I pity the fool
0:28:30 > 0:28:32# That falls in love with you
0:28:32 > 0:28:35# And expects you to be true
0:28:35 > 0:28:38# I pity the fool... #
0:28:39 > 0:28:43Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd