0:00:02 > 0:00:05The following show is full of fools doing very foolish things.
0:00:05 > 0:00:07Although nobody involved was seriously hurt,
0:00:07 > 0:00:10you should not attempt to repeat anything you are about to see.
0:00:14 > 0:00:17Last year, Mr T went on a mission.
0:00:17 > 0:00:22He scoured the globe to find the world's craziest fools.
0:00:22 > 0:00:24Those people with a lack of common sense,
0:00:24 > 0:00:27a terrifying disregard for health and safety,
0:00:27 > 0:00:31and whose favourite question is, "What's the worst that can happen?"
0:00:31 > 0:00:32And you loved it.
0:00:32 > 0:00:36But now you want more and you want them crazier
0:00:36 > 0:00:40and even more foolish, so once again, Mr T has delivered
0:00:40 > 0:00:43an array of the world's least talented people.
0:00:45 > 0:00:51This is the World's Craziest Fools - Return Of The Fools.
0:00:55 > 0:01:00You're watching the World's Craziest Fools, with me, Mr T.
0:01:00 > 0:01:03Before I start, I'd like to introduce you to a few people
0:01:03 > 0:01:05who help make this show possible.
0:01:05 > 0:01:08Behind the camera, there's Mr T.
0:01:10 > 0:01:13On sound, it's Mr T.
0:01:16 > 0:01:19On the autocue, it's Mr T.
0:01:20 > 0:01:23And looking after the props, it's Alan.
0:01:27 > 0:01:29We've got some great stuff for you today.
0:01:29 > 0:01:33Fools head-butting fruit, fools wrestling buckets,
0:01:33 > 0:01:39fools going crazy on forklifts. So sit back, relax and enjoy the show.
0:01:39 > 0:01:42Alan, pack your stuff. You're fired!
0:01:54 > 0:01:56When I'm acting, I do my own stunts.
0:01:56 > 0:02:00If the director wants me to jump off a cliff, I jump off a cliff.
0:02:00 > 0:02:03If he wants me to wrestle a tiger, I wrestle a tiger.
0:02:03 > 0:02:05But if he wants me to look like a fool,
0:02:05 > 0:02:07that's when I get these guys in.
0:02:07 > 0:02:09These guys are pros.
0:02:09 > 0:02:12This kid wants to be the first person to sit in a bucket,
0:02:12 > 0:02:15go over a ramp and jump across a stream.
0:02:17 > 0:02:19If you're gonna have a stupid ambition,
0:02:19 > 0:02:21make sure it's one you can achieve.
0:02:31 > 0:02:34It looks like this kid doesn't know what chairs are for.
0:02:34 > 0:02:35For future reference,
0:02:35 > 0:02:40they are for sitting on and for breaking over bad guys' backs.
0:02:40 > 0:02:42Next time, use them properly.
0:02:43 > 0:02:46Even fools have to have their dreams.
0:02:46 > 0:02:50Unfortunately, these guys' dreams are like one of those weird dreams
0:02:50 > 0:02:52after you've eaten too much cheese.
0:02:54 > 0:02:55I like cheese.
0:02:57 > 0:02:58Where do these stairs go?
0:03:00 > 0:03:03That's right, sucker. Straight up to Painsville.
0:03:03 > 0:03:05It ain't no fun in Painsville.
0:03:12 > 0:03:14This guy's trying to jump into that tree.
0:03:16 > 0:03:18Oh!
0:03:18 > 0:03:21Don't worry, he's OK. The ground broke his fall.
0:03:23 > 0:03:26The arrangement of furniture in this room is all wrong.
0:03:26 > 0:03:29There's some bad feng shui.
0:03:29 > 0:03:32When you get some bad feng shui, nasty stuff happens.
0:03:32 > 0:03:34I rest my case.
0:03:35 > 0:03:39This chump's trying to do a jump with his motorcycle.
0:03:40 > 0:03:42Now he's got two motorcycles.
0:03:43 > 0:03:45You'd think he would look happier about it.
0:03:47 > 0:03:50This guy knows the secret of being a stuntman is perfect timing.
0:03:53 > 0:03:55Time to get a new career, sucker!
0:03:58 > 0:04:02The "Sasquatch!" musical festival in Washington, USA.
0:04:02 > 0:04:06Keep your eye on the guy trying to smash a watermelon with his head.
0:04:06 > 0:04:07You can't miss him.
0:04:07 > 0:04:10He's the guy trying to smash a watermelon with his head.
0:04:12 > 0:04:17For some reason, he looks pleased with his achievement today.
0:04:17 > 0:04:19I'd hate to see what his other days are like.
0:04:21 > 0:04:24Russia. This guy thinks he's Tarzan.
0:04:26 > 0:04:29It wouldn't surprise me if he could communicate with animals.
0:04:29 > 0:04:31That's about his level.
0:04:35 > 0:04:38Coming up now, more fools.
0:04:38 > 0:04:40This should not be a surprise to you.
0:04:46 > 0:04:48MUSIC: "Off That" by Jay-Z
0:08:59 > 0:09:02I'm tired of looking at fools.
0:09:02 > 0:09:04Let's listen to a fool instead.
0:09:47 > 0:09:48PHONE GOES DEAD
0:09:57 > 0:10:00Hey, what are you looking at? Look at this instead.
0:10:11 > 0:10:14These two Lithuanian women are trying to cross the road.
0:10:14 > 0:10:19Some ladies stop traffic with their beauty - others use stupidity.
0:10:20 > 0:10:22Both work equally well.
0:10:26 > 0:10:30This Slovakian reporter thinks the best place to do a broadcast
0:10:30 > 0:10:32is right by the side of the road.
0:10:34 > 0:10:38News just in - you suck at making decisions!
0:10:40 > 0:10:45In the Ukraine, catching a bus is a lot harder than here in the UK,
0:10:45 > 0:10:47especially if it's not a bus.
0:10:51 > 0:10:55Jeep versus hill is a fun game until the hill starts winning.
0:10:57 > 0:11:00When the hill starts winning, get out of that jeep!
0:11:04 > 0:11:07This guy's life is about to flash before his eyes.
0:11:11 > 0:11:14His life looks like another motorbike.
0:11:16 > 0:11:19Another race now. Check out the steward in the yellow jacket.
0:11:21 > 0:11:25He's about to get hit when a tree throws itself in the way.
0:11:25 > 0:11:28Give that tree a medal! Then chop it down.
0:11:32 > 0:11:36An icy hill in Romania and these sledging fools are out of control.
0:11:37 > 0:11:41Luckily for them, they go straight through the gate and not the wall.
0:11:41 > 0:11:45Gates are weak but walls, they are strong and they are nasty.
0:11:49 > 0:11:52Russia, and this van is driving along minding its own business
0:11:52 > 0:11:55when it nearly hits a dumb pedestrian.
0:11:57 > 0:12:00If you don't see a big orange van coming,
0:12:00 > 0:12:03maybe you should start opening your eyes when you cross the road!
0:12:05 > 0:12:09In America, we drive on the right because it's right.
0:12:09 > 0:12:11This is what happens when you drive on the left.
0:12:15 > 0:12:18A lot of people are getting lucky today.
0:12:18 > 0:12:20I guess it must be their lucky day.
0:12:28 > 0:12:33Back in the '80s, I invented something called "dancing".
0:12:33 > 0:12:35It's been good for me financially.
0:12:35 > 0:12:39Every time someone dances they have to send me a penny in the post.
0:12:39 > 0:12:44In spite of the millions I've made, I sometimes regret my invention.
0:12:44 > 0:12:45Watch this.
0:12:57 > 0:13:00This guy thinks he's good at getting down.
0:13:00 > 0:13:03He is. Look at him, all the way down there.
0:13:08 > 0:13:11These fools are dancing around having a good time.
0:13:11 > 0:13:15Any minute now they are gonna get overexcited and hurt themselves.
0:13:17 > 0:13:18It's like I'm a psychic.
0:13:18 > 0:13:20If you want me to predict anything for you,
0:13:20 > 0:13:23call me up and we will negotiate a fee.
0:13:25 > 0:13:27Look at these Turkish guys,
0:13:27 > 0:13:30they must be pretty good at screwing up cos thousands of people
0:13:30 > 0:13:34here have come to see them, and it can't be for their music.
0:13:35 > 0:13:39Mexico, and this is the town idiot.
0:13:39 > 0:13:41Once a year, they put him on stage and make him
0:13:41 > 0:13:44dance around until he does something stupid.
0:13:47 > 0:13:49They don't have to wait too long.
0:13:51 > 0:13:53Check out this Romeo.
0:13:53 > 0:13:55He tries to bump and grind with the lady and bumps
0:13:55 > 0:14:00and grinds her right off the table, then he laughs about it.
0:14:00 > 0:14:01That's why he goes home alone.
0:14:04 > 0:14:08Next up, we are heading to a school where this physics teacher
0:14:08 > 0:14:09is rapping in front of his class.
0:14:13 > 0:14:15He just taught them a great lesson about gravity.
0:14:18 > 0:14:21I can't wait to see what the biology teacher's got lined up.
0:14:22 > 0:14:25Estonia land. I guess there's a good reason why
0:14:25 > 0:14:28they put this guy up in a tree in the first place.
0:14:28 > 0:14:31It's a shame he managed to find his way back down.
0:14:33 > 0:14:36This is what we call "spring break" in America.
0:14:39 > 0:14:42Specifically, the "break" was in his arms and his legs.
0:14:46 > 0:14:48This is what they call "break dancing" in Canada.
0:14:50 > 0:14:53Specifically, the break was in his nose and his face.
0:14:57 > 0:15:00Over to Austria. This guy's a great dancer.
0:15:01 > 0:15:05It's a shame he's a postman because he's not a very good postman.
0:15:06 > 0:15:09Maybe he needs to rethink his career.
0:15:13 > 0:15:16And now a word from our sponsors.
0:15:17 > 0:15:22Mr T is proud to present a new product from T-Industries.
0:15:22 > 0:15:25Now there's a way to get from up there to down here without
0:15:25 > 0:15:26smashing your legs off.
0:15:30 > 0:15:35New "stairs" from T-Industries are really so easy to use,
0:15:35 > 0:15:37you can fit them anywhere.
0:15:37 > 0:15:40If you've got two levels at home, you should get stairs.
0:15:41 > 0:15:44Want to go up to the bathroom to make a pee-pee? No problem.
0:15:46 > 0:15:48Need to come down again to feed the dog?
0:15:48 > 0:15:49Now you can.
0:15:49 > 0:15:54And now there's no need to break your legs.
0:15:54 > 0:15:58Stairs are a revolution in pain-free vertical transport.
0:15:58 > 0:16:00Using brand-new step technology,
0:16:00 > 0:16:04stairs from T-Industries go in both directions.
0:16:04 > 0:16:07Stairs come complete with T-Industries'
0:16:07 > 0:16:12patented safety side banisters and traction control steps.
0:16:12 > 0:16:15We guarantee using stairs will be safer than
0:16:15 > 0:16:18jumping off your roof or your money back.
0:16:18 > 0:16:20Oh, my God!
0:16:23 > 0:16:29Stairs, by T-Industries - the safest route from A to B and back again.
0:16:29 > 0:16:32Remember, your legs are at risk if you get drunk on,
0:16:32 > 0:16:36roller skate or ride a bike down your stairs. Terms and conditions apply.
0:16:36 > 0:16:40T-Industries, making it all better since the 1980s.
0:16:42 > 0:16:47If you are easily shocked, you might not want to watch the next part of this show.
0:16:47 > 0:16:50In fact, if you are easily shocked, you probably switched over
0:16:50 > 0:16:55a long time ago, so I'm guessing it's safe to proceed. Take a look at this.
0:18:00 > 0:18:02Don't worry, he's OK.
0:18:20 > 0:18:21Oh!
0:18:54 > 0:18:56Time now for the 10 o'clock news.
0:18:56 > 0:18:59If it's not 10 o'clock where you are watching this,
0:18:59 > 0:19:01pretend it's 10 o'clock.
0:19:02 > 0:19:05The following is a true story.
0:19:07 > 0:19:10A 42-year-old carpenter from Vancouver decided to
0:19:10 > 0:19:13follow his dreams and become a stuntman.
0:19:14 > 0:19:18He concluded the best way to achieve this was with a live audition
0:19:18 > 0:19:20at the Vancouver Film Festival.
0:19:20 > 0:19:23His plan was to bungee jump from the Lions Gate Bridge
0:19:23 > 0:19:27during the festival and then descend onto the deck
0:19:27 > 0:19:30of a passing cruise ship, with the eyes of the film world watching.
0:19:32 > 0:19:35For two years, he checked tide charts and boat schedules,
0:19:35 > 0:19:39he lined up sponsors and recruited assistants.
0:19:39 > 0:19:42On the big day, when everything was ready,
0:19:42 > 0:19:45he majestically swan-dived from the bridge as planned.
0:19:45 > 0:19:48He only realised his bungee cord was a little too long
0:19:48 > 0:19:51when he majestically crashed onto the deck of the boat.
0:19:51 > 0:19:54As it sailed away, he was dragged along the entire length
0:19:54 > 0:19:59of the boat, over the stern railing and into the water beneath.
0:19:59 > 0:20:03His film career failed to take off, but police got their people
0:20:03 > 0:20:06to see his people almost immediately.
0:20:08 > 0:20:12How would you like to see some clips of people falling off stuff?
0:20:12 > 0:20:15I tell you what, if you don't want to see some clips of people
0:20:15 > 0:20:17falling off stuff, call me now.
0:20:22 > 0:20:24Good, that's what I thought.
0:20:37 > 0:20:40This fool's so ashamed of himself, he's wearing a disguise
0:20:40 > 0:20:44so nobody will recognise him, but I can still recognise him, though.
0:20:47 > 0:20:50I would know those dumb moves and that stupid brain anywhere.
0:20:53 > 0:20:56This kid's gathered all his friends around so they can watch him
0:20:56 > 0:20:58make a chump out of himself.
0:21:01 > 0:21:03He's put on a good show, I'll give him that.
0:21:05 > 0:21:08This chump is seeing what it's like to eat a table.
0:21:08 > 0:21:09You missed everything!
0:21:09 > 0:21:15It's hard and it's wooden and it's got a nasty aftertaste.
0:21:15 > 0:21:18Next time, stick to bananas.
0:21:18 > 0:21:19You missed everything!
0:21:20 > 0:21:24This guy thinks he's pretty cool, dancing around on top of a bin.
0:21:27 > 0:21:30He's cooler now than he was ten seconds ago.
0:21:32 > 0:21:35That's what falling in the snow does for you.
0:21:37 > 0:21:40Warning - this clip does not have a happy ending...
0:21:43 > 0:21:46Unless you are watching it backwards,
0:21:46 > 0:21:51in which case, it's an uplifting tale about a boy learning to fly.
0:21:52 > 0:21:55Let's watch all the clips backwards -
0:21:55 > 0:21:57they'll be much better that way.
0:22:01 > 0:22:03This fool's friend just bet him
0:22:03 > 0:22:07ten bucks he couldn't do a front flip down the side of a cliff,
0:22:07 > 0:22:11bounce off his face and roll down into the water like a rag doll.
0:22:13 > 0:22:14Cough up, suckers.
0:22:17 > 0:22:20This guy never wanted to parachute for a living -
0:22:20 > 0:22:21he wanted to be on the stage.
0:22:25 > 0:22:27Oh!
0:22:27 > 0:22:30Now there's two jobs he can't do.
0:22:31 > 0:22:34Don't worry. The only thing that was hurt was his pride.
0:22:58 > 0:23:00Oh, God! Oh!
0:23:03 > 0:23:07Time for school. You are late. Don't let it happen again.
0:23:11 > 0:23:14Hello, and welcome to Mr T's School For Fools.
0:23:17 > 0:23:18I'm your teacher, Mr T,
0:23:18 > 0:23:22and today, I'm gonna be teaching you all about physics.
0:23:22 > 0:23:23What is physics?
0:23:23 > 0:23:27Physics is a natural science that involves the study of matter
0:23:27 > 0:23:30and its motion through space and time
0:23:30 > 0:23:33and its related concepts of energy and force.
0:23:33 > 0:23:37Or put it another way, physics is when you fall over
0:23:37 > 0:23:38and land on your butt, like this.
0:23:41 > 0:23:43Aargh!
0:23:43 > 0:23:47Aargh! Aargh!
0:23:47 > 0:23:50You got it? Good.
0:23:50 > 0:23:53Watch out for physics next time you're walking along the street.
0:23:53 > 0:23:54Class dismissed.
0:23:58 > 0:24:01Next up - some people think it's their job to drop stuff,
0:24:01 > 0:24:03mess up and screw about.
0:24:03 > 0:24:06But what do I know? I haven't seen their contracts.
0:24:16 > 0:24:20First up, Turkey, where these two fools are trying to load up
0:24:20 > 0:24:22a van with 500 kilos of chocolate.
0:24:26 > 0:24:28I'm guessing this is a family business.
0:24:28 > 0:24:32It'd be hard to find two such stupid people who weren't related.
0:24:35 > 0:24:37This guy's working hard so he'll get a big tip.
0:24:40 > 0:24:42And there it is. Keep the change, sucker.
0:24:45 > 0:24:47The United Kingdom of Great Britain.
0:24:50 > 0:24:54If these jerks are the future of your building industry,
0:24:54 > 0:24:57then your building industry does not have a future.
0:24:59 > 0:25:03Portugal. This guy's checking out the roof.
0:25:04 > 0:25:08The roof's fine. What about the floor?
0:25:10 > 0:25:14The floor's also fine. The building is ready.
0:25:16 > 0:25:19There are lots of different ways of getting noticed at work.
0:25:19 > 0:25:22Driving through your boss with a forklift is one of them.
0:25:26 > 0:25:29"Can I get a pay raise?"
0:25:29 > 0:25:31"No, but you can get my boot up your butt."
0:25:33 > 0:25:36This crane driver is cleaning up the rubble outside this house.
0:25:36 > 0:25:40He loves his job so much, he just made a whole new pile of rubble.
0:25:40 > 0:25:46That's what I like to see - a bit of enthusiasm in the workplace.
0:25:46 > 0:25:48Don't worry. He's OK.
0:25:48 > 0:25:51There are two ways to unload bottles from the back of a lorry.
0:25:51 > 0:25:55The slow, safe and careful way, and the other way.
0:25:57 > 0:25:59The other way is quicker and more fun!
0:26:01 > 0:26:04This courier is so eager to keep to his schedule,
0:26:04 > 0:26:07he can't wait to get back to his van.
0:26:12 > 0:26:14I guess he just doesn't have a head for the job.
0:26:17 > 0:26:20This forklift driver is learning the basics for the job.
0:26:24 > 0:26:25Rule one - don't do that.
0:26:27 > 0:26:30Rule two - get the heck out of my yard.
0:26:32 > 0:26:36Rule three - if I ever see your face around here again,
0:26:36 > 0:26:41I'll introduce it to the wrong side of a shovel. The end.
0:26:44 > 0:26:45Now, who's the bigger fool,
0:26:45 > 0:26:48the fool or the fool who's following the fool?
0:26:52 > 0:26:55Or the fool who attaches himself to the end of a JCB
0:26:55 > 0:26:58and gets another fool to spin him around?
0:26:58 > 0:27:00LAUGHTER
0:27:00 > 0:27:03Or the fool filming and laughing?
0:27:03 > 0:27:06Basically, there's an awful lot of fools out there.
0:27:06 > 0:27:07Don't get involved.
0:27:09 > 0:27:12I'm standing here and the music's playing,
0:27:12 > 0:27:15so I'm guessing it's the end of the show.
0:27:15 > 0:27:16I hope you enjoyed it.
0:27:16 > 0:27:19Before you go off and do whatever you do next,
0:27:19 > 0:27:21I wanna leave you with my final thought -
0:27:21 > 0:27:25a person who never makes mistakes never makes anything.
0:27:25 > 0:27:28See you next week. So long, suckers.
0:27:30 > 0:27:33# I pity the fool
0:27:35 > 0:27:39# Whoa, I pity the fool
0:27:40 > 0:27:44# Yeah, I pity the fool
0:27:46 > 0:27:50# Say, I pity the fool... #
0:27:51 > 0:27:54Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd