Episode 1

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0:00:02 > 0:00:04You should not attempt to repeat anything you are about to see.

0:00:07 > 0:00:10Last year, Mr T went on a mission.

0:00:10 > 0:00:14He scoured the globe to find the world's craziest fools -

0:00:14 > 0:00:18those people with a lack of common sense, a terrifying

0:00:18 > 0:00:21disregard for Health and Safety, and whose favourite question is,

0:00:21 > 0:00:24"What's the worst that can happen?"

0:00:24 > 0:00:27And you loved it, but now you want more

0:00:27 > 0:00:30and you want them crazier and even more foolish!

0:00:30 > 0:00:34so, once again, Mr T has delivered an array of the world's least

0:00:34 > 0:00:35talented people!

0:00:37 > 0:00:38This is the...

0:00:50 > 0:00:54People of Britain, last year I gave up my valuable time to teach

0:00:54 > 0:00:56you how to stop being fools.

0:00:56 > 0:01:00I gave you rules and I shared my wisdom. Did you listen?

0:01:00 > 0:01:02No, you got even stupider!

0:01:02 > 0:01:05I look around and what do I see?

0:01:05 > 0:01:09More fools crashing cars, more fools jumping off roofs,

0:01:09 > 0:01:12more fools blowing up buildings.

0:01:12 > 0:01:16So now I'm back and we're going to do the whole thing again!

0:01:16 > 0:01:19And this time, people of Britain, you'd better pay attention

0:01:19 > 0:01:21because I'm not coming back again!

0:01:21 > 0:01:26The food sucks, it rains all the time, and everything is so tiny!

0:01:26 > 0:01:32I said my piece, let's start this show! Grrr!

0:01:38 > 0:01:42Cars have been around a long time, almost 20 years.

0:01:42 > 0:01:45I think it's time we learned how to drive them properly,

0:01:45 > 0:01:47don't you think?

0:01:47 > 0:01:49The United Kingdom of Great England.

0:01:52 > 0:01:55Here comes a taxi driver dropping off a passenger.

0:01:59 > 0:02:01Did he get a tip? I'll give him a tip.

0:02:01 > 0:02:03Never ever pick me up.

0:02:03 > 0:02:06You pick me up, I'll pick you up, then I'll drop you, hard!

0:02:09 > 0:02:10The USA.

0:02:14 > 0:02:17There's an old saying, "If at first you don't succeed,

0:02:17 > 0:02:18"destroy everything."

0:02:24 > 0:02:27It's not a great saying. Let's never say it again.

0:02:33 > 0:02:37How tall is this bridge in Argentina? I'll tell you.

0:02:39 > 0:02:44It's one inch lower than the height of stupidity, that's how tall it is!

0:02:47 > 0:02:50Here's a big truck looking for a good parking space.

0:02:56 > 0:02:57Perfect!

0:02:59 > 0:03:02These two people are driving along and getting frisky.

0:03:07 > 0:03:11Never mind protection, these fools ain't even wearing seatbelts!

0:03:25 > 0:03:29The owner of this house obviously ordered a truck full of stupid

0:03:29 > 0:03:30express delivery.

0:03:36 > 0:03:40This is Belgium. It's like Holland but four times as big.

0:03:40 > 0:03:41That's the good news.

0:03:41 > 0:03:45The bad news is they've got lots of dumb drivers over there.

0:03:45 > 0:03:47Look at all of them going the wrong way!

0:03:49 > 0:03:52Seems like only one guy knows what he's doing!

0:04:02 > 0:04:03Congratulations.

0:04:03 > 0:04:08Some people like off-roading. That's OK, but off-wheeling ain't a thing!

0:04:08 > 0:04:11Cars need to remain on their wheels at all times!

0:04:12 > 0:04:14Hey, come out of there! Oh!

0:04:14 > 0:04:17Yeah, get away, get away, get away, get away!

0:04:17 > 0:04:19You all right, kid?

0:04:19 > 0:04:22Don't worry, this guy was OK.

0:04:28 > 0:04:30This is what I call a no-point turn.

0:04:30 > 0:04:32No points for you, sucker!

0:04:40 > 0:04:42Here comes another fool.

0:04:52 > 0:04:53Oh, my God!

0:04:54 > 0:04:55Over to Canada.

0:04:56 > 0:05:00What do you get if you drive a big truck on an icy road halfway

0:05:00 > 0:05:01up a mountain?

0:05:05 > 0:05:08You get an appearance on World's Craziest Fools.

0:05:10 > 0:05:13I don't know if they get World's Craziest Fool in Canada.

0:05:13 > 0:05:16Thinking about it, it's probably best they don't.

0:05:24 > 0:05:25Don't worry, he's OK.

0:05:31 > 0:05:34Coming up next on the World's Craziest Fools,

0:05:34 > 0:05:37we got more of the craziest fools in the world,

0:05:37 > 0:05:39and that is how this show is going to continue!

0:05:39 > 0:05:42If you don't like it, switch to something else!

0:05:44 > 0:05:46The following is a true story.

0:05:46 > 0:05:51In 1992, a suspicious-looking package was delivered to the

0:05:51 > 0:05:53Territorial Army Centre in Bristol.

0:05:53 > 0:05:56With no record of where the package was from,

0:05:56 > 0:05:59the TA eventually decided that they should call the police.

0:05:59 > 0:06:02The police soon arrived and took stock of the situation and

0:06:02 > 0:06:04swiftly made a decision.

0:06:04 > 0:06:07They decided that this was not a job for them either, so called in

0:06:07 > 0:06:09the army bomb-disposal experts.

0:06:09 > 0:06:13When the army arrived, they evacuated the area, sealed it off

0:06:13 > 0:06:16and proceeded to carry out a controlled explosion of the

0:06:16 > 0:06:19suspicious-looking package.

0:06:19 > 0:06:22It was only after the device had been made safe that it was

0:06:22 > 0:06:24discovered that the suspicious-looking package

0:06:24 > 0:06:27was, in fact, a parcel full of leaflets on how to deal with

0:06:27 > 0:06:30suspicious-looking packages.

0:06:30 > 0:06:34The Territorial Army, the police and the army congratulated

0:06:34 > 0:06:35themselves on a job well done.

0:06:38 > 0:06:41Nothing beats working with your hands, but these next folks are

0:06:41 > 0:06:45so busy with their hands, they plain forgot how to use their heads!

0:06:45 > 0:06:48It's fools with tools! Watch and weep!

0:06:56 > 0:07:00The Netherlands in Holland. This guy has built his own shed.

0:07:00 > 0:07:03Looks like he did a pretty good job to me!

0:07:03 > 0:07:05He just forgot one thing...

0:07:05 > 0:07:06Oh!

0:07:06 > 0:07:07..a thousand screws!

0:07:07 > 0:07:08Oh!

0:07:12 > 0:07:15This guy is about to use a jet hose to clean his car.

0:07:18 > 0:07:21He clean knocked himself out instead!

0:07:22 > 0:07:26Here's a good rule for DIY - look after your wood

0:07:26 > 0:07:29and your wood will look after you,

0:07:29 > 0:07:30disrespect your wood

0:07:30 > 0:07:33and your wood will wait till you're not looking.

0:07:37 > 0:07:42How many fools does it take to change a light bulb? Three.

0:07:42 > 0:07:46One to remove the light fitting, one to get hit in the head, and

0:07:46 > 0:07:50the third to call the electrician to come and do the job right!

0:07:50 > 0:07:52The United States of Canada.

0:07:52 > 0:07:54These two guys are supposed to be working,

0:07:54 > 0:07:57but instead they're playing a game of catch.

0:08:00 > 0:08:01Don't worry, he's OK.

0:08:03 > 0:08:04Spain.

0:08:04 > 0:08:08This guy's trying to bypass employment laws by hiring

0:08:08 > 0:08:09a cat as his assistant.

0:08:11 > 0:08:12Bad idea.

0:08:12 > 0:08:15Not only are cats unsuitable for a workplace,

0:08:15 > 0:08:16they don't work well in a team!

0:08:20 > 0:08:21Germany.

0:08:21 > 0:08:25This man's seeing what happens if he knocks the bit of wood over.

0:08:26 > 0:08:27The house falls down!

0:08:30 > 0:08:33Curiosity and stupidity are not a good combination!

0:08:37 > 0:08:40I want to give you a lesson about gravity.

0:08:42 > 0:08:44And that was the lesson about gravity.

0:08:44 > 0:08:48It ain't no good for bananas and it sure ain't no good for you!

0:08:48 > 0:08:51Here's some fools who didn't listen and suffered!

0:10:48 > 0:10:50Oh, shit!

0:10:52 > 0:10:54Oh, shit!

0:10:54 > 0:10:55Watch this.

0:11:02 > 0:11:04Oh!

0:11:29 > 0:11:31Ow!

0:11:33 > 0:11:36You see this? This is a telephone.

0:11:36 > 0:11:39It's for important things, like calling up your mamma,

0:11:39 > 0:11:43or ordering pizza, or giving the OK for a commando team to attack!

0:11:43 > 0:11:47It's not for ringing up busy people and wasting their time!

0:11:47 > 0:11:48Listen to this!

0:12:50 > 0:12:52Delta Team is ready to launch.

0:12:52 > 0:12:55I repeat, Delta Team is ready to launch.

0:12:55 > 0:12:59Call me when the target has been liberated.

0:12:59 > 0:13:01It's not easy working with machinery.

0:13:01 > 0:13:04Here's some clips of people who tried and failed.

0:13:04 > 0:13:06I call it heavy duty fools!

0:13:06 > 0:13:07PHONE RINGS

0:13:08 > 0:13:10Right! No!

0:13:10 > 0:13:12I said liberate, not assassinate!

0:13:12 > 0:13:16Get out of there as fast as you can and never call this number again!

0:13:17 > 0:13:20Hoo-ha-ha! Hoo!

0:13:29 > 0:13:30We are back in Canada

0:13:30 > 0:13:35and we are about to witness a large container getting smashed.

0:13:35 > 0:13:38I have a container like that delivered to my house every morning!

0:13:38 > 0:13:41It contains my eggs I have for breakfast!

0:13:41 > 0:13:44Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.

0:13:47 > 0:13:51This had better not be my container! I need my eggs!

0:13:51 > 0:13:53I have a cement mixer like this.

0:13:53 > 0:13:56I use it to mix my eggs and make an omelette.

0:13:57 > 0:14:00These Spanish guys are turning it into a merry-go-round.

0:14:02 > 0:14:05They won't be merry when I go around to visit them!

0:14:06 > 0:14:09Puerto Rico. This is called a rolling roll.

0:14:11 > 0:14:13They use it to test if cars are any good.

0:14:15 > 0:14:18If this car was any good before, it sure ain't now!

0:14:22 > 0:14:23We're in Portugal

0:14:23 > 0:14:27and it's this guy's first day at construction school.

0:14:27 > 0:14:29Day one is learning how to drive the JCBs.

0:14:33 > 0:14:35I don't want to see what happens on day two!

0:14:35 > 0:14:37That's wrecking-ball day!

0:14:39 > 0:14:43Most people don't know that the T in Mr T stands for truck.

0:14:44 > 0:14:47Here's a truck smashing into the side of the road in Russia.

0:14:50 > 0:14:52I hope it wasn't delivering my eggs!

0:14:54 > 0:14:57I don't mean to go on about my eggs, but if anyone sees them,

0:14:57 > 0:14:59please get 'em to me.

0:14:59 > 0:15:03Put a stamp on them and send 'em to Mr T, USA.

0:15:03 > 0:15:06Anyway, here's some bad stuff about to happen in Poland.

0:15:12 > 0:15:16Back to Portugal and the JCB driving day at the construction school.

0:15:19 > 0:15:20That's it, you nailed it!

0:15:23 > 0:15:25Here's your certificate. Now get out of my face!

0:15:28 > 0:15:32Every year, millions of people all over the world get married.

0:15:32 > 0:15:33That's a nice story.

0:15:33 > 0:15:37What ain't such a nice story is when everyone has to spend

0:15:37 > 0:15:40the next 50 years looking at their stupid photos!

0:15:40 > 0:15:43Here's some rules for wedding photo fools!

0:15:46 > 0:15:51Mr T's rules for wedding photo fools.

0:15:51 > 0:15:54It's good to have complementary interests.

0:15:54 > 0:15:58if one of you likes watching the TV, it helps if the other is a TV.

0:16:02 > 0:16:05Some men will try to get lucky with a bridesmaid at

0:16:05 > 0:16:10any wedding and sometimes a polite "No, thank you" just won't suffice.

0:16:13 > 0:16:16Be aware that not everyone will be pleased with your

0:16:16 > 0:16:19choice of partner, but try and make sure you've reconciled any

0:16:19 > 0:16:21differences before the big day.

0:16:25 > 0:16:28When you jokingly refer to it as a shotgun wedding, be

0:16:28 > 0:16:30careful who's listening.

0:16:33 > 0:16:37When the priest says, "You may now kiss the bride,"

0:16:37 > 0:16:41the words "you" and "bride" only refer to the groom and bride.

0:16:41 > 0:16:43It is not a free-for-all.

0:16:47 > 0:16:49It is traditional to carry your

0:16:49 > 0:16:52bride over the threshold of your new house.

0:16:52 > 0:16:56don't mistake that for riding her like a unicorn on a magic

0:16:56 > 0:16:57sheepskin rug.

0:17:02 > 0:17:05Oh, hi. You just found me multi-tasking.

0:17:05 > 0:17:09Coming up next, it's some fools within the family environment,

0:17:09 > 0:17:11or, as I like to call it, family fools!

0:17:13 > 0:17:17"Dear Diary, today I mostly worked out."

0:18:23 > 0:18:24- Oh!- Aggh!

0:18:29 > 0:18:30- Oh!- Aggh!

0:19:37 > 0:19:41And now it's time for a word from our sponsors.

0:19:43 > 0:19:44Mr T is proud to present a new

0:19:44 > 0:19:46product from T-Industries.

0:19:49 > 0:19:50Concrete owners...

0:19:53 > 0:19:56..does your municipal area sometimes feel like a fool magnet?

0:19:59 > 0:20:02Do you use your valuable elbow grease trying to remove

0:20:02 > 0:20:05fool's elbow stains from your delicious concrete areas?

0:20:07 > 0:20:10Try new Concrete Fool Repellent

0:20:10 > 0:20:11from T-Industries.

0:20:11 > 0:20:13One quick application will

0:20:13 > 0:20:14leave your nice, shiny,

0:20:14 > 0:20:17concrete area fool-free for up to 24 hours.

0:20:19 > 0:20:21No more hard to shift face fluid...

0:20:24 > 0:20:26..no stubborn groinal stains.

0:20:29 > 0:20:32Concrete Fool Repellent does exactly as the name suggests,

0:20:32 > 0:20:37it repels fools from their beloved concrete, from T-Industries.

0:20:39 > 0:20:42Also try brand new Handrail Fool Repellent for repelling

0:20:42 > 0:20:46fools from your handrails, also from T-Industries.

0:20:48 > 0:20:50T-industries, making it all better

0:20:50 > 0:20:52since the 1980s.

0:20:54 > 0:20:58This is a tennis racket. Grrr, I hate tennis!

0:20:58 > 0:21:01Back in the '80s, I won seven Wimbledons in a row,

0:21:01 > 0:21:05but they disqualified me because I used my bare hands.

0:21:05 > 0:21:09That's why you won't see any tennis clips on my show!

0:21:09 > 0:21:12But I've got plenty of other sport fools, like these!

0:21:21 > 0:21:25First up, Australia. What do you people call this?

0:21:25 > 0:21:27Football? This ain't football!

0:21:27 > 0:21:31Football is where you put on a helmet and attack someone.

0:21:31 > 0:21:32I don't know what you call this.

0:21:32 > 0:21:35We're going to have to come up with a new name for it.

0:21:35 > 0:21:37Let me think about it. I'll get back to you.

0:21:38 > 0:21:40It's recording.

0:21:40 > 0:21:43This guy's trying to throw the basketball over his shoulder

0:21:43 > 0:21:45directly into the basket.

0:21:45 > 0:21:46Is he going to do it?

0:21:48 > 0:21:51Slam dunk! Nice work, Kowalski.

0:21:51 > 0:21:52You're back on the team.

0:21:54 > 0:21:58Sport ain't about winning, it's about taking part!

0:21:58 > 0:22:02But more importantly, it's about winning! Take a look at this lady.

0:22:02 > 0:22:05She'll do anything to make sure she crosses the line first!

0:22:10 > 0:22:13What's wrong with this game of volleyball?

0:22:13 > 0:22:17I'll give you a clue - there's no net! Also, there's no court.

0:22:19 > 0:22:22And no spectators! This is some bad volleyball!

0:22:24 > 0:22:28Softball. People call it softball until they get hit.

0:22:28 > 0:22:29Ow!

0:22:29 > 0:22:32Then they call it really hard-ball!

0:22:32 > 0:22:36I'm still thinking about what to call this. How about stupid-ball?

0:22:36 > 0:22:38Argh!

0:22:38 > 0:22:42All you have to do is hit the thing through a couple of sticks

0:22:42 > 0:22:43and knock an old lady over!

0:22:43 > 0:22:45Seems pretty stupid to me!

0:22:45 > 0:22:46Argh!

0:22:46 > 0:22:49I like golf, but this shot is going to be tricky

0:22:49 > 0:22:50with that buggy in the way.

0:22:52 > 0:22:54The tree also is a hazard.

0:22:56 > 0:23:00Hazard one meet hazard two. Problem solved!

0:23:04 > 0:23:06OK, I'm bored with stupid-ball.

0:23:06 > 0:23:08Let's watch something else.

0:23:13 > 0:23:15Not everyone can be good at sports,

0:23:15 > 0:23:18but some of you even struggle with more basic things,

0:23:18 > 0:23:22like driving cars, or opening doors, or wrestling bears!

0:23:22 > 0:23:25That's why I've decided to help you out by setting up my very own

0:23:25 > 0:23:27teaching facility.

0:23:27 > 0:23:31I'm calling it Mr T's School For Fools. Sound the bell!

0:23:31 > 0:23:34Class is about to begin! Hmm!

0:23:38 > 0:23:42Hello and welcome to Mr T's School For Fools.

0:23:44 > 0:23:47What is history? History is the past.

0:23:47 > 0:23:50Everything that happens, that's history.

0:23:50 > 0:23:54Me telling you what history is, that's now history.

0:23:54 > 0:23:57Here are some famous examples of history.

0:23:58 > 0:24:01First up, footage from The Titanic.

0:24:09 > 0:24:11So that's how The Titanic crashed.

0:24:11 > 0:24:16Next up, the Battle of Hastings.

0:24:20 > 0:24:21So as you can see,

0:24:21 > 0:24:24as long as there has been history there have been fools.

0:24:24 > 0:24:28We need to learn from them so we don't make the same mistakes.

0:24:28 > 0:24:32This entire class is now history. Class dismissed!

0:24:34 > 0:24:37There's a lot of people out there who drink to forget.

0:24:37 > 0:24:39They drink to forget how to stand up straight.

0:24:39 > 0:24:42They drink to forget where the hedges are.

0:24:42 > 0:24:45They drink to forget not to set themselves on fire!

0:24:45 > 0:24:47Take a look at this!

0:24:59 > 0:25:02How do you know if you too drunk to drive?

0:25:02 > 0:25:04Easy. Look at your car.

0:25:05 > 0:25:09If you can't tell if it's upside-down or the right way up...

0:25:09 > 0:25:10Ah, it's the other side, man.

0:25:10 > 0:25:12..you're too drunk to drive!

0:25:12 > 0:25:15He's going! Oh, he's going! He's going.

0:25:17 > 0:25:18Are you OK, mate?

0:25:24 > 0:25:28If you had too much to drink, it's a good idea to sleep it off.

0:25:28 > 0:25:32However, you should always try to sleep it off in a bed.

0:25:34 > 0:25:38Sleeping it off on a narrow ledge on the top of the subway stairs

0:25:38 > 0:25:39is not a good idea.

0:25:42 > 0:25:46Poland. When you're drunk, you feel like you've got special powers.

0:25:49 > 0:25:53This guy has got the power to fall down one flight of stairs...

0:25:53 > 0:25:54Agh!

0:25:54 > 0:25:56..and then land hard on his stomach.

0:25:56 > 0:25:58He isn't going to save the world,

0:25:58 > 0:26:01but he has provided us with some good entertainment!

0:26:05 > 0:26:06Agh!

0:26:08 > 0:26:10Being drunk can be embarrassing.

0:26:10 > 0:26:15Sometimes you just want to find somewhere to hide so no-one can see.

0:26:15 > 0:26:17Top! Toppo!

0:26:17 > 0:26:21In a wrestling match, it's important to know who your enemy is.

0:26:21 > 0:26:24In this clip, the main enemy is the ground.

0:26:24 > 0:26:27You do not want to pick a fight with the ground.

0:26:27 > 0:26:30It is hard! It is mean!

0:26:30 > 0:26:34It sneaks up on you when you least expect it!

0:26:34 > 0:26:37Me and the ground have had a lot of good tussles over the years,

0:26:37 > 0:26:38a lot of good tussles.

0:26:43 > 0:26:45You can look at whoever you like in this clip,

0:26:45 > 0:26:47either these girls at the front...

0:26:49 > 0:26:51..or this guy at the back. Your choice!

0:26:56 > 0:26:59Here's another lesson in drinking.

0:26:59 > 0:27:02If you're too drunk to eat your sandwich, you are too drunk!

0:27:15 > 0:27:17Hi, I'm Dave from the Dickhead Dudes.

0:27:17 > 0:27:19I wish that Ben was with you

0:27:19 > 0:27:21Ben was with me but he's not.

0:27:21 > 0:27:25So, I'm going to chow this Mudslide and smash it over my fucking melon.

0:27:25 > 0:27:26Check this shit.

0:27:26 > 0:27:29This guy's trying to tell us something.

0:27:29 > 0:27:31I don't speak fool, but it seems he want us

0:27:31 > 0:27:35to know he's about to do something awesome with a bottle!

0:27:35 > 0:27:36Ah, fuck!

0:27:36 > 0:27:38Is he achieving it?

0:27:38 > 0:27:40Ah, come on, dude!

0:27:40 > 0:27:44It's hard to know with a fool. Anything is conceivable.

0:27:44 > 0:27:47Ah! Fuck, I don't believe this.

0:27:47 > 0:27:50Time flies when you're having fun.

0:27:50 > 0:27:52Today's show was three hours long,

0:27:52 > 0:27:54but I bet it felt a lot shorter, right?

0:27:54 > 0:27:58Sadly, it's over. There's just time for my final thought.

0:27:58 > 0:28:01They say, "Too many cooks spoil the broth,"

0:28:01 > 0:28:05but they also say, "Many hands make light work," so maybe you

0:28:05 > 0:28:09should just ignore what other people say and live life your own way.

0:28:09 > 0:28:12Your way pretty cool too. Take it easy out there.

0:28:12 > 0:28:14So long, suckers!

0:28:15 > 0:28:16# Well, I pity the fool

0:28:19 > 0:28:22# I said I pity the fool

0:28:24 > 0:28:28# You know, I pity the fool

0:28:30 > 0:28:33# I said I pity the fool

0:28:35 > 0:28:38# That falls in love with you

0:28:38 > 0:28:41# And expects you to be true

0:28:41 > 0:28:44# I pity the fool... #

0:28:46 > 0:28:47Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd