0:00:02 > 0:00:04The following show is full of fools doing VERY foolish things.
0:00:04 > 0:00:07Although nobody involved was seriously hurt,
0:00:07 > 0:00:10you should not attempt to repeat anything you are about to see.
0:00:10 > 0:00:17This programme contains some strong language
0:00:17 > 0:00:19Last year, Mr T went on a mission.
0:00:19 > 0:00:23He scoured the globe to find the World's Craziest Fools - those people
0:00:23 > 0:00:27with a lack of common sense, a terrifying disregard for health and safety,
0:00:27 > 0:00:32and whose favourite question is, "what's the worst that can happen?" And you loved it.
0:00:32 > 0:00:37But now, you want more - and you want them crazier and even more foolish.
0:00:37 > 0:00:42So once again, Mr T has delivered an array of the world's least talented people.
0:00:45 > 0:00:49This is the World's Craziest Fools...
0:00:49 > 0:00:50Return of the Fools.
0:00:55 > 0:01:00Welcome to World's Craziest Fools. I brought a friend with me to help host the show.
0:01:02 > 0:01:05Don't be stupid, it's just a doll. He can't talk.
0:01:05 > 0:01:08I'M hosting the show, and you better get your head in the game,
0:01:08 > 0:01:11cos we got all sorts of fools coming your way.
0:01:11 > 0:01:17Fools running into walls, fools jumping into pools, fools falling out of planes.
0:01:17 > 0:01:18Let's start this show.
0:01:18 > 0:01:21Then you say, "I'm Mr T."
0:01:21 > 0:01:24Say "I'm Mr T" for Big Daddy.
0:01:24 > 0:01:25("I'm Mr T.")
0:01:36 > 0:01:40As anyone knows, you have to stay one step ahead of the game.
0:01:40 > 0:01:44I'm so far ahead of the game, sometimes I'm thinking about the next game.
0:01:45 > 0:01:50This guy's trying to use a piece of playground equipment to hurt himself in a surprising way.
0:01:57 > 0:01:59Unsurprisingly, he succeeded.
0:02:01 > 0:02:05These two dummies are trying to do a synchronised back flip.
0:02:05 > 0:02:10Maybe "synchronised" means something different to them.
0:02:10 > 0:02:14This kid wants to prove he's better than a car, by jumping over it.
0:02:14 > 0:02:161-0 to the kid.
0:02:18 > 0:02:192-0 to the kid.
0:02:23 > 0:02:252-1 - the fightback begins.
0:02:31 > 0:02:34Oh, crap. Oh, crap.
0:02:34 > 0:02:36This guy wants to back-flip off a truck.
0:02:38 > 0:02:41If you are on a farm and you are dumber than the animals,
0:02:41 > 0:02:44you might want to shut yourself up in a barn for safekeeping.
0:02:46 > 0:02:48This Spanish kid's haircut is all wrong.
0:02:48 > 0:02:53He needs to take a look at MY hair, then take a look at HIS hair.
0:02:53 > 0:02:54Then go buy himself a hat.
0:02:56 > 0:02:59Germany... And it looks like a nice day to hit the beach.
0:03:02 > 0:03:03Now we're in Estonia.
0:03:04 > 0:03:06And it looks like a nice day to hit the town.
0:03:08 > 0:03:10OK, time to stop hitting things.
0:03:12 > 0:03:15This fool's trying to escape from his fool prison.
0:03:16 > 0:03:18Keep trying, pea brain!
0:03:25 > 0:03:27It takes a special kind of stupid
0:03:27 > 0:03:29to miss every single rubber mat in that room.
0:03:32 > 0:03:36Hey you - put your shirt back on, and finish building that house like you supposed to.
0:03:42 > 0:03:47What is it with all these people? Don't they have anything better to do?
0:03:49 > 0:03:52I can make some suggestions, if that's what's needed here.
0:03:52 > 0:03:55How about, go get yourself some jobs for starters?
0:03:57 > 0:03:58Or do some stuff for charity.
0:04:00 > 0:04:05Why don't you go down to the old folks' home, and help them find some fun stuff to watch on TV?
0:04:07 > 0:04:10Or you can go down to a dog sanctuary, and clean up some poo.
0:04:15 > 0:04:20Basically, stop jumping off stuff and do something useful with your hands and feet instead.
0:04:29 > 0:04:33Back in the '80s, I invented a little thing called "The '80s".
0:04:33 > 0:04:38It was a crazy party, and it went on for a whole decade.
0:04:38 > 0:04:41Then everyone woke up in 1990, and found out
0:04:41 > 0:04:45they couldn't remember anything, and they were covered in tattoos.
0:04:45 > 0:04:50Tattoos seem a good idea at the time, but they can turn out badly.
0:04:54 > 0:04:58Mr T's rules for tattooing fools.
0:04:58 > 0:05:04Rule One. Tattoos are a great way of reminding yourself of a good time you once had,
0:05:04 > 0:05:07but pick those incidents carefully.
0:05:07 > 0:05:08Rule Two.
0:05:09 > 0:05:14Don't let anyone make you choose between your favourite film star or animal.
0:05:15 > 0:05:20Rule Three. Don't commit yourself to one mood for the rest of your life.
0:05:22 > 0:05:23Rule Four.
0:05:23 > 0:05:26Always remember the famous proverb -
0:05:26 > 0:05:30when a man loses an arm, he often gains a dolphin.
0:05:30 > 0:05:31Rule Five.
0:05:31 > 0:05:33When having a tattoo,
0:05:33 > 0:05:35always remember to leave room for your face.
0:05:36 > 0:05:38Rule Six.
0:05:38 > 0:05:40You may be asked to choose your design
0:05:40 > 0:05:42from the wall in the tattoo parlour.
0:05:42 > 0:05:46Be careful not to choose the actual wall as your pattern.
0:05:46 > 0:05:49And finally, rule seven.
0:05:49 > 0:05:52Don't be a dickhead.
0:05:54 > 0:05:58Being a fool is dangerous at any time of the year
0:05:58 > 0:06:01but it's especially dangerous at winter time.
0:06:01 > 0:06:04That's when nature turns the heating off
0:06:04 > 0:06:06and people start suffering from brain freeze.
0:06:06 > 0:06:09Take a look at this if you think you can handle it.
0:06:09 > 0:06:12If you don't think you can handle it, just close your eyes.
0:06:12 > 0:06:14We'll be back on me in two minutes.
0:06:24 > 0:06:26This guy's kite boarding.
0:06:26 > 0:06:29It involves attaching a kite to your snowboard
0:06:29 > 0:06:31and then screaming and flailing your arms
0:06:31 > 0:06:34while the wind blows you all over the mountain.
0:06:41 > 0:06:43It's not as much fun as it sounds.
0:06:51 > 0:06:54This guy's trying to snowboard over a ditch.
0:06:54 > 0:06:56He's tried it before but failed.
0:06:56 > 0:06:57This is his last ditch attempt.
0:06:59 > 0:07:01MR T LAUGHS
0:07:01 > 0:07:03I'm a funny, funny man.
0:07:04 > 0:07:06Oh, boy.
0:07:06 > 0:07:08This biker has taken the wrong turn
0:07:08 > 0:07:12and accidentally ended up in the snow...
0:07:12 > 0:07:13..upside down.
0:07:15 > 0:07:16Or maybe he's just programmed
0:07:16 > 0:07:20the wrong destination into his sat nav.
0:07:20 > 0:07:22Here's another gold medal buffoon.
0:07:23 > 0:07:25The amount of fools I've seen today,
0:07:25 > 0:07:28I'm surprised there aren't more queuing up behind him.
0:07:31 > 0:07:35Russia. This guy has licked a bar and now he's stuck to it.
0:07:35 > 0:07:38This is a story of grit, pain and forbidden love.
0:07:40 > 0:07:43It's also a story of bad judgment, low intelligence
0:07:43 > 0:07:46and stupid friends you'd be better off without.
0:07:55 > 0:07:58There's got to be a better way to get down mountains.
0:08:01 > 0:08:03Don't go up mountains in the first place.
0:08:03 > 0:08:05That's the better way to get down mountains.
0:08:07 > 0:08:09This guy's so stupid, he's skiing backwards.
0:08:11 > 0:08:13I guess if you are that dumb,
0:08:13 > 0:08:15it doesn't matter what direction you're going in.
0:08:19 > 0:08:22This guy is even stupider than the last guy,
0:08:22 > 0:08:24unless it's the same guy.
0:08:25 > 0:08:28Those two stupid guys could very well be
0:08:28 > 0:08:29one super-stupid guy.
0:08:33 > 0:08:35Snowmobile racing.
0:08:35 > 0:08:38They say once you fall off something, the best thing you
0:08:38 > 0:08:41can do is get right back on it.
0:08:41 > 0:08:44Unfortunately, that saying doesn't account for people
0:08:44 > 0:08:46who are really bad at whatever it is they are riding.
0:08:53 > 0:08:56if you're really bad, don't get right back on it again,
0:08:56 > 0:08:58otherwise you will just fall off again.
0:09:00 > 0:09:04Much better to give the whole thing up and go and have a sleep.
0:09:08 > 0:09:09Don't worry, he's OK.
0:09:11 > 0:09:13This little man has potential.
0:09:21 > 0:09:22Whee!
0:09:22 > 0:09:24This went wrong the day he was born.
0:09:28 > 0:09:29Whee!
0:09:32 > 0:09:36I don't think I need to tell this guy not to have a second go.
0:09:36 > 0:09:39He probably ain't going to be having any conversation
0:09:39 > 0:09:40for a few days anyway.
0:09:46 > 0:09:48Ain't you ever heard of physics, fool?
0:09:59 > 0:10:02This snowmobile has realised its owner is a fool
0:10:02 > 0:10:04and is making a break for it.
0:10:04 > 0:10:08That's it, little machine, you're better off on your own.
0:10:09 > 0:10:11I like this guy.
0:10:11 > 0:10:12Oh.
0:10:13 > 0:10:16He's still at the age where it's OK to be this dumb.
0:10:21 > 0:10:23This Skidoo is an all terrain vehicle.
0:10:27 > 0:10:30That doesn't mean it's going to help you if you smack it into a tree.
0:10:35 > 0:10:37This Skidoo is not an all terrain vehicle.
0:10:40 > 0:10:41That's why it's sinking.
0:10:41 > 0:10:43It's for ground only.
0:10:43 > 0:10:47See if you can ride it on the ground at the bottom of the lake, fool.
0:10:52 > 0:10:54I like the emergency services.
0:10:54 > 0:10:56They do a great job keeping us safe.
0:10:56 > 0:10:58That don't mean they can't have a bad day
0:10:58 > 0:11:02and sometimes that bad day is caught on camera.
0:11:02 > 0:11:03Take a look at this.
0:11:14 > 0:11:16This fireman's on his way to an emergency.
0:11:18 > 0:11:22Looks the emergency is down there around his ankles.
0:11:22 > 0:11:25He got there quicker than he imagined.
0:11:25 > 0:11:29Next up, this Turkish SWAT team guy tries to kick down a door
0:11:29 > 0:11:30that's already open.
0:11:32 > 0:11:34Who cares?
0:11:34 > 0:11:36It's never a bad idea to show off your power moves.
0:11:40 > 0:11:44Police officers have to deal with all types of dangerous criminal.
0:11:44 > 0:11:47This dog is wanted for a string of crimes.
0:11:47 > 0:11:50Urinating in public, disturbing the peace through barking,
0:11:50 > 0:11:54making obscene gestures at a pussycat, and also...
0:11:54 > 0:11:55murder.
0:12:05 > 0:12:07Don't worry though. They caught him in the end.
0:12:20 > 0:12:22Notting Hill Carnival.
0:12:22 > 0:12:25That's a big carnival where once a year the police dance around
0:12:25 > 0:12:28like crazy people to entertain the rest of London.
0:12:35 > 0:12:37I think some other stuff goes on too.
0:12:37 > 0:12:39But this is the main part of it, right?
0:12:43 > 0:12:46Russia, where this police officer is struggling
0:12:46 > 0:12:48to apprehend his own motorcycle.
0:12:52 > 0:12:55Never mind, sergeant, Russia's a small country.
0:12:55 > 0:12:57You're bound to run into it again.
0:13:03 > 0:13:06These officers have just arrested a guy and they have sentenced him
0:13:06 > 0:13:09to nine seconds in the back of the police car.
0:13:09 > 0:13:11Time's up, sucker. Don't do it again.
0:13:27 > 0:13:30These cops have used their cars to make a road block.
0:13:36 > 0:13:39Never mind, you'll get them on the way back.
0:13:42 > 0:13:45This rescue helicopter is trying to make a landing.
0:13:48 > 0:13:51Unfortunately, the pilot has temporarily confused the sea
0:13:51 > 0:13:53with the ground.
0:13:55 > 0:13:58The bad news is that helicopter's going to sink.
0:14:01 > 0:14:02The good news is
0:14:02 > 0:14:05they caught themselves a couple of tuna for dinner.
0:14:05 > 0:14:08Don't worry about the pilot, though, he's OK.
0:14:11 > 0:14:13Right, what's next?
0:14:15 > 0:14:17The following is a true story.
0:14:18 > 0:14:22A police officer called to the scene of a domestic dispute decided
0:14:22 > 0:14:25that the only way to bring the situation to a swift end was
0:14:25 > 0:14:29to use his Taser gun on the husband of the woman who called.
0:14:29 > 0:14:32With his gun at the ready, he prepared to shoot.
0:14:32 > 0:14:34His first shot missed the man
0:14:34 > 0:14:37and instead managed to hit the family cat.
0:14:37 > 0:14:42The second shot also missed and this time hit the son's teenage friend.
0:14:42 > 0:14:45He missed again with the third shot but, on the upside, he had
0:14:45 > 0:14:48managed to avoid hitting any innocent bystanders.
0:14:48 > 0:14:50With the Taser gun now empty, the officer reloaded
0:14:50 > 0:14:52and prepared to fire again.
0:14:52 > 0:14:54In a triumph for marksmanship
0:14:54 > 0:14:56he hit himself with shot four.
0:14:56 > 0:15:00Shots five and six then hit the ceiling and after fully discharging
0:15:00 > 0:15:04the weapon twice and failing to hit the man once, the policeman
0:15:04 > 0:15:08finally abandoned the Taser and reached for the pepper spray.
0:15:08 > 0:15:11This safety first approach also failed as he managed to discharge
0:15:11 > 0:15:16it in the face of the man's daughter who had just walked in.
0:15:16 > 0:15:19Eventually, realising that this policeman was doing more
0:15:19 > 0:15:22damage than he ever could, the man decided to give himself up.
0:15:28 > 0:15:30I like swimming as much as the next guy,
0:15:30 > 0:15:35unless the next guy is any of these next guys who all hate swimming.
0:15:35 > 0:15:38Basically, here's some bad swimmers.
0:15:44 > 0:15:45Mexico.
0:15:45 > 0:15:48And the first rule of water is...
0:15:48 > 0:15:49it's slippy.
0:15:52 > 0:15:56The second rule of water is...
0:15:56 > 0:15:57it's slippy.
0:15:59 > 0:16:01I just said the first rule twice.
0:16:01 > 0:16:03What are you going to do about it?
0:16:03 > 0:16:06This show-off does a triple somersault swan dive and then
0:16:06 > 0:16:08lands straight on his back.
0:16:10 > 0:16:12He thinks that's pretty funny.
0:16:12 > 0:16:15Wait till he finds out there's sharks in there.
0:16:20 > 0:16:22The important things bout jumping over water
0:16:22 > 0:16:25are the jumping, the over and the water.
0:16:26 > 0:16:30Argentina. Now keep your eyes on the girl about to dive.
0:16:33 > 0:16:34She's pretty, isn't she?
0:16:37 > 0:16:38Next clip.
0:16:39 > 0:16:42In the time it took that guy to climb to the top of the slide...
0:16:44 > 0:16:46..someone's stolen his pool.
0:16:51 > 0:16:54This girl's trying to learn how to surf on a wave machine.
0:16:56 > 0:16:57Wave goodbye to her.
0:17:02 > 0:17:05Someone told this jerk, it'd be good if he jumped in a ditch.
0:17:08 > 0:17:10He's so stupid, all the dogs have come along
0:17:10 > 0:17:12to see him make a fool of himself.
0:17:16 > 0:17:17Here's a tip.
0:17:17 > 0:17:19If you run like this...
0:17:21 > 0:17:23..you'll find yourself doing a lot of that.
0:17:25 > 0:17:27Here's another tip.
0:17:27 > 0:17:30If you can't climb a ladder, you probably shouldn't be thinking
0:17:30 > 0:17:33about going up on a roof and jumping into a swimming pool.
0:17:35 > 0:17:37Master the basics first, people.
0:17:40 > 0:17:43This girl needs to go back to falling in the water school.
0:17:44 > 0:17:48She's nearly there, but her technique is just a little off.
0:17:52 > 0:17:54It's tough to swim on the top of a fence.
0:17:57 > 0:18:00Other places tough to swim, are in a car,
0:18:00 > 0:18:03in a real shack. Basically, anywhere there is no water.
0:18:07 > 0:18:10This guy parked his van in the water so his friend can drive his
0:18:10 > 0:18:12jet ski straight in.
0:18:14 > 0:18:19Jet skis are water vehicles. Vans are not water vehicles.
0:18:19 > 0:18:22Back to vehicle identification school for this chump.
0:18:26 > 0:18:29Those were a few tips on how to survive in the water.
0:18:29 > 0:18:33But if you still not sure about the water, don't go in the water.
0:18:33 > 0:18:36Stay away from the water. Don't even drink water.
0:18:36 > 0:18:38Drink juice instead.
0:18:42 > 0:18:47Mmm, juice is good. Mm.
0:18:47 > 0:18:50PHONE RINGS
0:20:06 > 0:20:08Those two fools deserved each other.
0:20:08 > 0:20:10Here's some other people who deserve each other.
0:20:10 > 0:20:14That's why we put them together in the next bit of the show.
0:20:14 > 0:20:16It's Assorted Fools.
0:20:21 > 0:20:26MUSIC PLAYS
0:22:02 > 0:22:05- Do you want to say some last words?- Go on.
0:22:48 > 0:22:51Time now for everyone's favourite part of the show.
0:22:51 > 0:22:56Of course, everyone's favourite part of the show is the whole show,
0:22:56 > 0:22:59but this next bit, it is especially favourite.
0:22:59 > 0:23:01It's Mr T's School for Fools.
0:23:06 > 0:23:09Hello, and welcome to Mr T's School for Fools.
0:23:11 > 0:23:13I'm going to go easy on you today.
0:23:13 > 0:23:17I'm going to teach you about the theory of relativity.
0:23:17 > 0:23:20What is the theory of relativity? Listen up.
0:23:26 > 0:23:28This guy's clearly a fool.
0:23:36 > 0:23:38But relative to this woman, he's a genius.
0:23:41 > 0:23:45That's the theory of relativity. Class dismissed.
0:23:47 > 0:23:51Alcohol is a great way for normal people to experience
0:23:51 > 0:23:54what it's like being a fool.
0:23:54 > 0:23:58Here's some clips of people walking a mile in a fool's shoes.
0:24:03 > 0:24:06# Well, I got to get drunk and I sure do dread it
0:24:06 > 0:24:09# Cos I know just what I'm going to do...#
0:24:09 > 0:24:10The USA.
0:24:10 > 0:24:14Looks like this quarter back has lost the rest of his team.
0:24:14 > 0:24:17Don't worry, champ, they'll find you soon enough.
0:24:17 > 0:24:20All they have to do is follow the sound of everyone laughing.
0:24:20 > 0:24:24He's going! Oh, Jesus.
0:24:27 > 0:24:28Russia.
0:24:28 > 0:24:31This guy is so drunk, he can't even get on his bicycle.
0:24:39 > 0:24:42This guy's invented a new sport.
0:24:42 > 0:24:45It involves stacking boxes on top of each other.
0:24:45 > 0:24:49I'm going to call it, boxing. That's a great name for a sport.
0:24:54 > 0:24:57I'm surprised there isn't already a sport called, boxing.
0:25:00 > 0:25:03Ukraine, and this drunk guy's going for a swim.
0:25:05 > 0:25:09How's the water? Cold and hard.
0:25:10 > 0:25:12Here's some advice, drunk, Japanese man.
0:25:12 > 0:25:15When you're going over a zebra crossing,
0:25:15 > 0:25:18you do not have to do impressions of a zebra.
0:25:19 > 0:25:22If you are looking for a sign you have drunk too much...
0:25:23 > 0:25:25..this one's pretty good.
0:25:34 > 0:25:37Your standards drop when you're drunk and maybe you end up
0:25:37 > 0:25:42doing things with people you don't want to be doing things with.
0:25:46 > 0:25:49Personally, I think this dog could do a lot better.
0:25:55 > 0:25:57Here's a drunk guy picking a fight with a lamp post.
0:26:00 > 0:26:02If that lamp post knew he was coming,
0:26:02 > 0:26:05it would have ended very differently.
0:26:05 > 0:26:09That's the only way the guy's going to beat a lamp post, at anything.
0:26:13 > 0:26:17Alcohol lies to you. It tells you ugly people are attractive.
0:26:17 > 0:26:20It tells you stupid things are funny...
0:26:22 > 0:26:26..and it tells fools like this they can dance.
0:26:33 > 0:26:34Check out this drunk dummy.
0:26:40 > 0:26:43He just made everybody else's day at the beach
0:26:43 > 0:26:4510 times more entertaining.
0:26:46 > 0:26:50Who needs a donkey ride when you've got a tanked up fool
0:26:50 > 0:26:51throwing himself into the sea?
0:26:55 > 0:26:57Call the land line now.
0:27:01 > 0:27:04This guy just found out that shell suit trousers
0:27:04 > 0:27:06don't look any better when they're on fire...
0:27:12 > 0:27:13..or after they've been on fire.
0:27:22 > 0:27:27And my final piece of advice is, alcohol in sports, don't mix.
0:27:30 > 0:27:33I think that's what the security guard is politely pointing out
0:27:33 > 0:27:34to that drunk fool.
0:27:42 > 0:27:43That's the end of the show.
0:27:43 > 0:27:45Before you turn off your television set,
0:27:45 > 0:27:47I'd like you to think about this.
0:27:47 > 0:27:50It's true, you don't know what you got till it's gone,
0:27:50 > 0:27:54but it's also true you don't know what you been missing
0:27:54 > 0:27:55until it arrives.
0:27:55 > 0:27:58So, keep your eyes open my friends, and be good to yourselves,
0:27:58 > 0:28:00and each other.
0:28:00 > 0:28:03See you next week. So long, suckers.
0:28:03 > 0:28:05Come on, little buddy.