Episode 5

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0:00:02 > 0:00:04The following show is full of fools doing very foolish things.

0:00:04 > 0:00:07Although nobody involved was seriously hurt,

0:00:07 > 0:00:11you should not attempt to repeat anything you are about to see.

0:00:14 > 0:00:17Last year, Mr T went on a mission.

0:00:17 > 0:00:21He scoured the globe to find the world's craziest fools -

0:00:21 > 0:00:24those people with a lack of common sense,

0:00:24 > 0:00:27a terrifying disregard for health and safety,

0:00:27 > 0:00:31and whose favourite question is what's the worst that can happen?

0:00:31 > 0:00:32And you loved it.

0:00:32 > 0:00:37But now, you want more and you want them crazier and even more foolish.

0:00:37 > 0:00:38So, once again,

0:00:38 > 0:00:42Mr T has delivered an array of the world's least talented people.

0:00:45 > 0:00:49This is the World's Craziest Fools -

0:00:49 > 0:00:50Return Of The Fools.

0:00:57 > 0:00:59Unless I'm mistaken, you're here to see some fools

0:00:59 > 0:01:01and I'm never mistaken.

0:01:01 > 0:01:03Guess what? You are in luck.

0:01:03 > 0:01:06Coming up today, we've got fools fighting things,

0:01:06 > 0:01:08fools jumping into things

0:01:08 > 0:01:11and fools messing around with things that ain't none of their business.

0:01:11 > 0:01:15So sit back, put your feet back and, unless I'm mistaken,

0:01:15 > 0:01:17you are going to enjoy this show

0:01:17 > 0:01:18and I'm never mistaken.

0:01:18 > 0:01:21Did I mention that I'm never mistaken?

0:01:32 > 0:01:36They say the most important thing about sports is taking part.

0:01:36 > 0:01:37But they are wrong.

0:01:37 > 0:01:40The most important thing is protective headgear

0:01:40 > 0:01:42and a nearby ambulance.

0:01:42 > 0:01:43Watch these clips.

0:01:45 > 0:01:48This fool was trying to combine his favourite two sports -

0:01:48 > 0:01:49golf and swimming.

0:01:51 > 0:01:52Oh, shit.

0:01:54 > 0:01:57He's become his very own water hazard. I pity him.

0:02:01 > 0:02:03This is a new sport called ball in the face.

0:02:06 > 0:02:09It's a short game but a fun one for the kicker.

0:02:10 > 0:02:12Not so much for the in the face guy.

0:02:14 > 0:02:15Next up, pole vaulting.

0:02:15 > 0:02:17This guy jumps over the bar,

0:02:17 > 0:02:21then gets hit by the pole in an unfortunate place.

0:02:23 > 0:02:24By the way,

0:02:24 > 0:02:27there are no fortunate places to be hit by a pole,

0:02:27 > 0:02:29but that's especially unfortunate.

0:02:31 > 0:02:33This kid's trash-talking a punching bag.

0:02:36 > 0:02:38And that's what you trash-talk a punching bag.

0:02:45 > 0:02:47You know you ain't cut out for running,

0:02:47 > 0:02:50if there's no-one else in the race and you still lose.

0:02:50 > 0:02:52Jesus Christ.

0:02:52 > 0:02:53Mini golf.

0:02:56 > 0:02:59If this was a romcom,

0:02:59 > 0:03:01those two were going to fall in love.

0:03:02 > 0:03:05But it ain't, it's real life,

0:03:05 > 0:03:08so she went to the hospital and he went to jail.

0:03:08 > 0:03:09The end.

0:03:09 > 0:03:12Now gymnastics.

0:03:12 > 0:03:14The thing about crash mats is

0:03:14 > 0:03:17they only help the bits of you that land on them.

0:03:17 > 0:03:19Don't worry, he's OK.

0:03:21 > 0:03:24If you want to be good at sports, you've got to stay focussed.

0:03:27 > 0:03:30The middle of the race ain't no time for taking a bath.

0:03:32 > 0:03:34Sports first, bath time later.

0:03:37 > 0:03:39Here we go, here we go, come on.

0:03:39 > 0:03:40Weightlifting now.

0:03:40 > 0:03:44Get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up. Yeah, there it is.

0:03:45 > 0:03:48If you can't lift a big weight, it's time to hit the dumbbells.

0:04:00 > 0:04:01Here's a good workout rule.

0:04:01 > 0:04:04If the machine you are using is smarter than you,

0:04:04 > 0:04:05get out of the gym.

0:04:09 > 0:04:10Hurdling.

0:04:10 > 0:04:13If you want to get better at sports, what's the harm in practising?

0:04:15 > 0:04:17That's the harm.

0:04:17 > 0:04:19Right there, between his legs.

0:04:21 > 0:04:23Here's three fools having a kick around.

0:04:26 > 0:04:28Boom! Right in the Hacky Sack.

0:04:32 > 0:04:36If this guy don't end up on his face, I'll eat my shoes.

0:04:39 > 0:04:41I'm going to eat my shoes anyway.

0:04:41 > 0:04:43I am hungry, and it's two hours till lunch.

0:05:04 > 0:05:05Jousting.

0:05:07 > 0:05:09This guy's so bad at it,

0:05:09 > 0:05:12he don't even have a horse or a shield or an opponent.

0:05:14 > 0:05:15This is some bad jousting.

0:05:17 > 0:05:19Hammer time.

0:05:19 > 0:05:21There's only one thing you've got to remember in the hammer throw

0:05:21 > 0:05:23and that's to throw the hammer.

0:05:26 > 0:05:29If your mind can't hold that one piece of information,

0:05:29 > 0:05:31then you're probably not cut out for the sport.

0:05:37 > 0:05:41Time now for a story. Are you sitting comfortably?

0:05:41 > 0:05:44You shouldn't be. It's not that kind of a story.

0:05:44 > 0:05:45Here's some Fool News.

0:05:47 > 0:05:49The following is a true story.

0:05:49 > 0:05:54In March 2008, a masked man walked into a Chicago garage

0:05:54 > 0:05:56in an attempted hold-up.

0:05:56 > 0:05:5918-year-old Ruben Zarate pulled out his gun

0:05:59 > 0:06:03and asked staff to hand over whatever money they had on site.

0:06:03 > 0:06:06One of the mechanics politely explained that what little

0:06:06 > 0:06:10money they did have was in a safe that only the manager could open

0:06:10 > 0:06:13and that he would not be back until the afternoon.

0:06:13 > 0:06:17Interestingly, Mr Zarate decided that his best option was to leave

0:06:17 > 0:06:21his phone number and get the manager to call him when he returned.

0:06:23 > 0:06:26Sure enough, later that afternoon, he received a call from

0:06:26 > 0:06:30the manager of the garage, so he returned and repeated his request.

0:06:30 > 0:06:33However, it turns out Zarate had not been the garage manager's

0:06:33 > 0:06:38first call, and this he realised as soon as the two plain-clothes

0:06:38 > 0:06:41police officers waiting there for him arrested him.

0:06:41 > 0:06:44The next phone call he made was to a lawyer.

0:06:46 > 0:06:47This is my driver's licence.

0:06:47 > 0:06:54It says I can drive a car, a truck, a motorcycle and a tractor.

0:06:54 > 0:06:58A plane, a train, a crane and a horse.

0:06:58 > 0:07:02A space shuttle, an oil tanker, a jet ski,

0:07:02 > 0:07:05a hoover-craft and an ice cream van.

0:07:05 > 0:07:09These next people shouldn't drive any vehicles at all.

0:07:09 > 0:07:11They should stay as far away from vehicles as possible.

0:07:20 > 0:07:22First up, Pakistan.

0:07:22 > 0:07:25If you are taking the bus in Pakistan, here's a tip.

0:07:25 > 0:07:27Make sure you sit at the back.

0:07:29 > 0:07:31The front gets a little draughty.

0:07:36 > 0:07:40I wouldn't put this guy in charge of one car, let alone two.

0:07:44 > 0:07:47Whoever put this man in charge of these cars

0:07:47 > 0:07:50should not be in charge of putting people in charge of cars.

0:07:52 > 0:07:56Don't worry, the only thing that was hurt was his pride

0:07:56 > 0:07:57and both cars.

0:08:05 > 0:08:06Don't worry about it, sucker,

0:08:06 > 0:08:10look at all the other cars you've got in the yard.

0:08:10 > 0:08:12Just keep practising till you get it right.

0:08:12 > 0:08:14You'll nail it one day.

0:08:18 > 0:08:21This U-Haul truck has driven up the road and got stuck.

0:08:21 > 0:08:26As you can see, he's also driven right past the sign telling him

0:08:26 > 0:08:29not to drive up the road or he will get stuck.

0:08:29 > 0:08:31Next time, drive with your eyes open.

0:08:35 > 0:08:37Merde.

0:08:37 > 0:08:39Our next clip comes from France.

0:08:39 > 0:08:43The man behind the camera is saying the word merde a lot.

0:08:43 > 0:08:44Merde.

0:08:44 > 0:08:47I'll translate that. Merde means hoorah.

0:08:50 > 0:08:51Merde.

0:08:52 > 0:08:53Merde.

0:08:54 > 0:08:55Merde!

0:08:57 > 0:08:58This man is celebrating,

0:08:58 > 0:09:02because now he doesn't have to drive that stupid car any more.

0:09:05 > 0:09:10I can see a stop sign, but I can't see a stop being such a fool sign.

0:09:15 > 0:09:17They should add one of those too.

0:09:23 > 0:09:25"Hello, do you sell brakes?"

0:09:28 > 0:09:30The United Arab Emirates land.

0:09:32 > 0:09:36The real tragedy is, this guy was delivering my pizza.

0:09:41 > 0:09:43Come on, fool, put those flame out,

0:09:43 > 0:09:47get back behind the wheel and bring me my American Hot.

0:09:47 > 0:09:48You said 30 minutes or less.

0:09:48 > 0:09:50Time is ticking, Papa Joe.

0:10:00 > 0:10:03Hey, you, pull up your socks, tuck in your shirt,

0:10:03 > 0:10:06straighten your Mohawk, it's school time.

0:10:10 > 0:10:13Hello and welcome to Mr T's School For Fools.

0:10:16 > 0:10:19Today's lesson is math. What is math?

0:10:19 > 0:10:20Math is about numbers.

0:10:20 > 0:10:24Numbers are things like 3, 9, 27.

0:10:24 > 0:10:25There are others too,

0:10:25 > 0:10:28but I haven't got the time to tell you about them all.

0:10:28 > 0:10:30We'll call that this week's homework.

0:10:30 > 0:10:32Learn all about numbers.

0:10:32 > 0:10:35Anyway, here's an example of working with numbers.

0:10:35 > 0:10:39A car has four wheels. One of the wheels stopped working.

0:10:39 > 0:10:41What are you left with?

0:10:45 > 0:10:47The answer?

0:10:47 > 0:10:48A car that don't work.

0:10:51 > 0:10:52So stop being a stupid fool

0:10:52 > 0:10:56and get that thing off the road before you hurt someone.

0:10:56 > 0:10:57Class dismissed.

0:11:00 > 0:11:03When people have a long week, they go out dancing

0:11:03 > 0:11:05and let their hair down.

0:11:05 > 0:11:08But these fools are letting more than their hair down.

0:11:08 > 0:11:09They're letting us all down.

0:11:18 > 0:11:19Oh!

0:11:19 > 0:11:23Looks like someone's break-dancing lessons haven't paid off.

0:11:24 > 0:11:27Unless that's what they've been teaching him to do.

0:11:28 > 0:11:31If that's what they've been teaching him to do,

0:11:31 > 0:11:33those are some bad lessons.

0:11:34 > 0:11:35Oh!

0:11:37 > 0:11:40Are those my arctic camouflage trousers?

0:11:40 > 0:11:43You better not split those trousers, fool.

0:11:43 > 0:11:46They have been with me through some tough missions.

0:11:46 > 0:11:49If it wasn't for those trousers, I would be a dead man.

0:11:53 > 0:11:55Why can't these fools use their roof area

0:11:55 > 0:11:57for something more worthwhile?

0:11:57 > 0:12:01Like having a barbecue or growing some plants

0:12:01 > 0:12:03or looking after a beehive.

0:12:07 > 0:12:10If what you're doing is less worthwhile

0:12:10 > 0:12:11than looking after a beehive,

0:12:11 > 0:12:13you should be doing something else.

0:12:16 > 0:12:20You've heard the phrase, "Dance like nobody's watching."

0:12:20 > 0:12:23Sometime it pays to recognise that people are watching.

0:12:23 > 0:12:24And filming.

0:12:30 > 0:12:32Some people call this Jazzercise.

0:12:32 > 0:12:34I've got another name for it -

0:12:34 > 0:12:36ugly. It's just plain ugly.

0:12:41 > 0:12:44This guy thinks he's good at getting down.

0:12:45 > 0:12:46He is. Look at him.

0:12:49 > 0:12:50But I like his style.

0:12:53 > 0:12:54And the crowd love it.

0:12:57 > 0:12:59What a showman.

0:12:59 > 0:13:01There's a fine line between break-dancing...

0:13:03 > 0:13:04..and breaking.

0:13:14 > 0:13:15Who are these people?

0:13:15 > 0:13:19I want names and addresses and photo IDs.

0:13:19 > 0:13:22One visit from Mr T, and all this stuff will stop.

0:13:22 > 0:13:24I am serious, I want details.

0:13:28 > 0:13:30Are you people seeing this too?

0:13:30 > 0:13:33I'm not sure that pizza was a good idea.

0:13:33 > 0:13:35I think it was a bad pizza.

0:13:35 > 0:13:36Oh!

0:13:36 > 0:13:39What kind of mushroom did they use on that thing?

0:13:39 > 0:13:40Oh!

0:13:43 > 0:13:44Oh!

0:13:48 > 0:13:50Look what's going on here.

0:13:53 > 0:13:55I've seen a lot of jibber-jabber in my time,

0:13:55 > 0:13:58but I've never seen it coming out of someone's feet.

0:13:58 > 0:14:00If you can't use your feet properly,

0:14:00 > 0:14:03take them off and give them to someone who can.

0:14:09 > 0:14:10Oh!

0:14:16 > 0:14:22Oh! Oh! Are you going to keep going until you break something, Alex?

0:14:22 > 0:14:23Have a clue.

0:14:23 > 0:14:27You are not going to be the great break-dancer you think you are.

0:14:27 > 0:14:28Your momma just said it all.

0:14:28 > 0:14:30You are good,

0:14:30 > 0:14:33but you are not going to get up to those little Asians' level.

0:14:33 > 0:14:35Listen to your momma, fool.

0:14:35 > 0:14:38Well, it's true. You'll just destroy your body.

0:14:38 > 0:14:39Little Asians?

0:14:41 > 0:14:42And now a word from our sponsors.

0:14:44 > 0:14:48Mr T is proud to present a new product from T-Industries.

0:14:50 > 0:14:56Is your house all trashed up or your microwave totally exploded?

0:14:56 > 0:14:59Has someone mangled your fence?

0:14:59 > 0:15:01It could be that you've got a fool infestation.

0:15:01 > 0:15:03Over 80% of British households in Britain

0:15:03 > 0:15:06have a wild fool running around, all crazy,

0:15:06 > 0:15:09which is why we at T-Industries have developed

0:15:09 > 0:15:11the Fool Net.

0:15:11 > 0:15:14The Fool Net is a simple device that helps you catch

0:15:14 > 0:15:16the idiot running around your house.

0:15:19 > 0:15:23Easy to erect, you just put it up and let the net do the rest.

0:15:24 > 0:15:28Available in two different sizes, the Fool Net costs just 9.99

0:15:28 > 0:15:31and can be delivered straight to your home.

0:15:33 > 0:15:38Fool Net - erects in seconds, protects for a lifetime.

0:15:38 > 0:15:40One-month guarantee.

0:15:40 > 0:15:42T-Industries is not responsible for any non-fools

0:15:42 > 0:15:46caught in the Fool Net, excluding leading sportsmen and opera singers.

0:15:46 > 0:15:50T-Industries, making it all better since the 1980s.

0:15:51 > 0:15:55This is a normal person. This is Mr T.

0:15:55 > 0:15:58As you can see, I live life on the edge,

0:15:58 > 0:16:00but that's OK, because I can handle it.

0:16:00 > 0:16:03Now, if a normal person tries to live life on the edge,

0:16:03 > 0:16:05he wouldn't be able to cope.

0:16:05 > 0:16:06See?

0:16:06 > 0:16:10Now check out these fools who got too close to the edge and fell off.

0:16:17 > 0:16:20People who know Mr T, know I'm not a man of many words.

0:16:21 > 0:16:22Skiing sucks.

0:16:24 > 0:16:26That's it, two words.

0:16:28 > 0:16:31Here's a fool trying to play basketball on a scooter.

0:16:38 > 0:16:41It can't be much fun being this chump.

0:16:41 > 0:16:43He must wake up every day

0:16:43 > 0:16:46and worry about what stupid horseplay he's got to think of next.

0:16:49 > 0:16:52Gravity is the thing causes you to fall down the hill.

0:16:54 > 0:16:57And rocks is the thing causing pain in your face.

0:17:00 > 0:17:03Ukrania. Did God give us wheels on our feet?

0:17:03 > 0:17:06No, he did not. But imagine if he had.

0:17:07 > 0:17:10This kid is living in that world.

0:17:10 > 0:17:14Everything would be like, "Whoa, whee, yeah!"

0:17:16 > 0:17:18You're the crazy man. Oh, no.

0:17:18 > 0:17:22Mexico land. You see that big satellite dish on the roof?

0:17:22 > 0:17:26Last year, that thing beamed the first series

0:17:26 > 0:17:29of World's Craziest Fools straight into this young man's house.

0:17:29 > 0:17:32Did he watch it? I'll let you decide.

0:17:32 > 0:17:35Pray for you, brother. Please, don't hurt yourself.

0:17:37 > 0:17:38SCREAMING

0:17:38 > 0:17:39Oh, shit.

0:17:44 > 0:17:46Don't worry, he's OK.

0:17:46 > 0:17:49Our next clip also comes from Mexico.

0:17:50 > 0:17:56The problem with Mexico is, it's so hot and sunny, it melts your brain.

0:17:56 > 0:17:58It's made this kid act all crazy.

0:18:01 > 0:18:04That's the bad thing about Mexico.

0:18:04 > 0:18:07The good thing is, they've got great beaches

0:18:07 > 0:18:09and their burritos are delicious.

0:18:15 > 0:18:16France.

0:18:16 > 0:18:19This guy and the quad bike have been through some good times

0:18:19 > 0:18:21and some bad times.

0:18:22 > 0:18:23This is one of the bad times.

0:18:25 > 0:18:26Aargh!

0:18:26 > 0:18:28But they have gotten through their problems

0:18:28 > 0:18:30and now they're having a little cuddle.

0:18:30 > 0:18:31That's nice to see.

0:18:33 > 0:18:34Over the years,

0:18:34 > 0:18:38many great men have played their part in man's quest to fly.

0:18:38 > 0:18:39Ah...

0:18:39 > 0:18:41These guys are going at it from a whole new angle.

0:18:41 > 0:18:43..aaargh!

0:18:43 > 0:18:44It's horizontal.

0:18:46 > 0:18:48And it's dangerous.

0:18:48 > 0:18:49Aaargh!

0:18:49 > 0:18:50Don't try this at home.

0:18:50 > 0:18:51Aaargh!

0:18:53 > 0:18:57Signs are good, because they tell people what to do.

0:18:57 > 0:19:00Some of them say stop. Some of them say go.

0:19:00 > 0:19:03Some of them don't say either of those things.

0:19:03 > 0:19:04It's confusing.

0:19:04 > 0:19:08So lucky I'm here with my rules for sign-writing fools.

0:19:12 > 0:19:15Mr T's rules for sign-writing fools.

0:19:17 > 0:19:19Rule one -

0:19:19 > 0:19:22if you have a simple message, have a simple sign.

0:19:22 > 0:19:23In many languages.

0:19:25 > 0:19:26Rule two -

0:19:26 > 0:19:29again, if you have a simple message, refer to rule one.

0:19:32 > 0:19:34Rule three -

0:19:34 > 0:19:35spell-check.

0:19:37 > 0:19:38Rule four -

0:19:38 > 0:19:41basically, just get a dictionary.

0:19:41 > 0:19:45It's cheaper than a new sign, and you might get to keep your job.

0:19:45 > 0:19:46Rule five -

0:19:46 > 0:19:49some products need signs to help them sell,

0:19:49 > 0:19:53but others should be more of an under-the-counter kind of operation.

0:19:53 > 0:19:55And finally, rule six -

0:19:55 > 0:19:59whoever you're making signs for, you should really know your onions.

0:20:02 > 0:20:06I've always felt that the world is a richer place

0:20:06 > 0:20:08for all the different people in it.

0:20:08 > 0:20:09Apart from these next guys.

0:20:09 > 0:20:13These fools are freaky and need to leave us all alone.

0:20:23 > 0:20:24France.

0:20:24 > 0:20:27And look at this panda, standing upright

0:20:27 > 0:20:28and walking along the street.

0:20:28 > 0:20:32That's the problem with nature - it's evolving so fast.

0:20:32 > 0:20:34Aaargh!

0:20:34 > 0:20:36That's right, lady, you be scared.

0:20:40 > 0:20:42You see that smoky thing?

0:20:42 > 0:20:43That's called dry ice.

0:20:43 > 0:20:45Ice is supposed to be wet,

0:20:45 > 0:20:49which is why, if you dry it out, it gets mad.

0:20:51 > 0:20:54And it explodes.

0:20:54 > 0:20:55Chemistry lesson over.

0:21:00 > 0:21:02Next up, Turkey,

0:21:02 > 0:21:05where this musical is turning out to be a real turkey.

0:21:09 > 0:21:11I've written a musical about my life

0:21:11 > 0:21:14called Mr T, The Musical About My Life.

0:21:14 > 0:21:16It's the greatest story ever told.

0:21:18 > 0:21:22Yo, yo, yo, white bitches, you know you want to talk shit,

0:21:22 > 0:21:23you got to back your shit up.

0:21:23 > 0:21:26That's all I've got to say to you little, immature, little girls.

0:21:26 > 0:21:29If even your own picture of you thinks you suck...

0:21:31 > 0:21:33..it's time for a different approach.

0:21:35 > 0:21:36This is a microwave.

0:21:38 > 0:21:40That was a microwave.

0:21:41 > 0:21:42Ow!

0:21:42 > 0:21:44Son of a bitch.

0:21:44 > 0:21:47You've got to think fast to keep up with this show.

0:21:47 > 0:21:48Ow!

0:21:51 > 0:21:55An airport in France. Check out this baggage handler.

0:21:59 > 0:22:02He's throwing suitcases straight into the garbage truck.

0:22:04 > 0:22:09It's either his first day on the job or his last day on the job.

0:22:09 > 0:22:12Either way, it's his last day on the job.

0:22:17 > 0:22:18Canada land, land.

0:22:21 > 0:22:24If you are easily shocked, I suggest you look away now.

0:22:24 > 0:22:27In fact, I suggest you look away now anyway.

0:22:27 > 0:22:30Nobody needs to see what's about to happen.

0:22:36 > 0:22:37You looked, didn't you?

0:22:37 > 0:22:39I told you not to look.

0:22:39 > 0:22:40Don't worry, I looked too.

0:22:50 > 0:22:52Check out this street market in Bangkok.

0:22:52 > 0:22:55Only they didn't build it on a street,

0:22:55 > 0:22:57they built it right in the middle of a railway line.

0:22:57 > 0:22:59TRAIN HORN BLARES

0:23:08 > 0:23:10This is a bad example of forward planning.

0:23:12 > 0:23:16These people are going to regret that every two or three minutes.

0:23:20 > 0:23:21Oh, shit!

0:23:21 > 0:23:22Oh, God!

0:23:22 > 0:23:24BLEEP, BLEEP, BLEEP!

0:23:24 > 0:23:28- Oh, Jesus!- BLEEP.- Oh,- BLEEP.

0:23:28 > 0:23:31- God! Oh,- BLEEP! BLEEP!

0:23:31 > 0:23:34- Lord,- BLEEP!- Lord,- BLEEP!

0:23:34 > 0:23:37- BLEEP!- Whoa! Whoa!

0:23:37 > 0:23:39That was awesome!

0:23:39 > 0:23:42That was awesome, right there! God damn!

0:23:42 > 0:23:44As a demonstration of my martial arts skills,

0:23:44 > 0:23:47I'm going to show you my fist of lightning.

0:23:48 > 0:23:51That was so fast you might not have seen it.

0:23:51 > 0:23:52Let's see it again in slow motion.

0:24:05 > 0:24:06Pretty fast, huh?

0:24:06 > 0:24:10Get ready for some fools that ain't fit to tie my black belt.

0:24:17 > 0:24:19MUSIC: "You're The Best" by Joe Esposito

0:24:19 > 0:24:21Canada land, land, land.

0:24:21 > 0:24:25A lot of people here don't seem to be looking after their faces.

0:24:25 > 0:24:27# Try to be best cos you're only a man

0:24:27 > 0:24:29# And a man's got to learn to take it

0:24:29 > 0:24:30# Try to believe... #

0:24:30 > 0:24:33Faces are important, because that's where

0:24:33 > 0:24:37we keep things like our noses and our eyes and our lips.

0:24:37 > 0:24:39# Try and you'll succeed... #

0:24:39 > 0:24:42So it's not a good idea to let other people kick us there.

0:24:42 > 0:24:45# And you can have your dreams

0:24:45 > 0:24:46# You're the best around... #

0:24:46 > 0:24:47It's not a good idea

0:24:47 > 0:24:50to smash ourselves in the face with a plank either.

0:24:50 > 0:24:52# You're the best around... #

0:24:52 > 0:24:56What did I just say about smashing ourselves in the face with a plank?

0:24:56 > 0:25:00You know, some of you people don't deserve to have faces.

0:25:01 > 0:25:04This is the green room.

0:25:04 > 0:25:05Aaargh!

0:25:05 > 0:25:09This is where they put people who are bad at karate.

0:25:09 > 0:25:10Aaargh!

0:25:11 > 0:25:14If you are struggling to beat your opponent

0:25:14 > 0:25:16when he's facing the other way...

0:25:18 > 0:25:20..maybe karate's not for you.

0:25:20 > 0:25:23# You're the best around

0:25:23 > 0:25:25# Nothing's gonna ever keep you down

0:25:25 > 0:25:27# You're the best around... #

0:25:27 > 0:25:30There is a time and a place for karate.

0:25:30 > 0:25:32The time is not now and the place is not here.

0:25:33 > 0:25:35Ah!

0:25:35 > 0:25:38There are also people who are built for karate.

0:25:38 > 0:25:40She is not one of them.

0:25:40 > 0:25:42You get all sorts of belts in karate.

0:25:42 > 0:25:45Black belt, white belt, green belt.

0:25:47 > 0:25:49But none of those things can help you

0:25:49 > 0:25:52when you get kicked in your special place.

0:25:52 > 0:25:53Argh!

0:25:53 > 0:25:55MUSIC SLOWS TO A HALT

0:25:55 > 0:25:56MUSIC RESUMES

0:25:56 > 0:25:58You're going to feel some pain.

0:25:58 > 0:25:59Argh!

0:26:04 > 0:26:07This guy has potential.

0:26:07 > 0:26:08Give it one more go.

0:26:09 > 0:26:11Argh!

0:26:11 > 0:26:14If you want to master the art of karate,

0:26:14 > 0:26:15you've got to watch and learn.

0:26:15 > 0:26:17# You're the best around... #

0:26:17 > 0:26:19You might want to watch from a little further back though.

0:26:20 > 0:26:23# You're the best around... #

0:26:23 > 0:26:27Our last clip comes from Azerbaijan.

0:26:27 > 0:26:30The man in the middle is a karate master.

0:26:30 > 0:26:32He's giving off a special energy

0:26:32 > 0:26:34that defeats all people who comes his way.

0:26:35 > 0:26:38Either that or the people who come his way

0:26:38 > 0:26:40are the worst karate people in the world.

0:26:42 > 0:26:44Tell that man to come pay me a visit.

0:26:44 > 0:26:46We will see who's the master.

0:26:48 > 0:26:51# Fight till you drop

0:26:51 > 0:26:56# Never stop, can't give up until you reach the top

0:26:56 > 0:26:58- # Fight! - You're the best in town

0:26:58 > 0:27:01- # Fight! - Listen to that sound. #

0:27:01 > 0:27:03THEY LAUGH

0:27:05 > 0:27:07That's it, it's the end of the show.

0:27:07 > 0:27:09It's been a great ride, hasn't it?

0:27:09 > 0:27:11We've been on a long road called failure,

0:27:11 > 0:27:14but we have stopped at a service station called nearly

0:27:14 > 0:27:18and we have made it to a destination called learning.

0:27:18 > 0:27:21We have learned that when the world says, "Give up,"

0:27:21 > 0:27:24hope whispers, "Give it one more go."

0:27:24 > 0:27:27I'll be back next week. So long, suckers.

0:27:33 > 0:27:35Oh, wow. Man.

0:27:37 > 0:27:39Oh, boy.

0:28:02 > 0:28:05Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd