Episode 6

Download Subtitles

Transcript

0:00:02 > 0:00:04This programme contains some strong language

0:00:04 > 0:00:07Although nobody involved was seriously hurt,

0:00:07 > 0:00:10you should not attempt to repeat anything you are about to see.

0:00:14 > 0:00:17Last year, Mr T went on a mission.

0:00:17 > 0:00:21He scoured the globe to find the world's craziest fools -

0:00:21 > 0:00:24those people with a lack of common sense,

0:00:24 > 0:00:27a terrifying disregard for health and safety

0:00:27 > 0:00:31and whose favourite question is, "What's the worst that can happen?",

0:00:31 > 0:00:32and you loved it.

0:00:32 > 0:00:36But now, you want more and you want them crazier,

0:00:36 > 0:00:37and even more foolish!

0:00:37 > 0:00:40So once again Mr T has delivered an array

0:00:40 > 0:00:43of the world's least talented people.

0:00:45 > 0:00:47This is the World's Craziest Fools...

0:00:49 > 0:00:51..Return Of The Fools.

0:00:55 > 0:01:00Cheese, tomatoes, pepperoni, ham, extra beef.

0:01:00 > 0:01:01OK, thanks.

0:01:02 > 0:01:05That was a journalist asking me to name

0:01:05 > 0:01:07some of my favourite words, but enough of that.

0:01:07 > 0:01:10You are watching the World's Craziest Fools.

0:01:10 > 0:01:13Coming up today, we got fools punching banks,

0:01:13 > 0:01:18fools breaking buildings and too many fools for one bike to handle.

0:01:18 > 0:01:21Sit back and enjoy - it's going to be delicious.

0:01:34 > 0:01:38Why do fools feel the need to show off? Look at me.

0:01:38 > 0:01:41You don't see me showing off about my muscles or my hair,

0:01:41 > 0:01:44or my achievement in film and television,

0:01:44 > 0:01:47because showing off is for chumps.

0:01:47 > 0:01:49Now, shut up and watch these clips!

0:01:54 > 0:01:55What kind of machine is that?

0:01:57 > 0:01:59Is this clip from the future?

0:02:03 > 0:02:04Ah!

0:02:04 > 0:02:07I'm glad to see they still got falling on your face in the future.

0:02:09 > 0:02:10Ah!

0:02:10 > 0:02:12Australia.

0:02:12 > 0:02:16The good news for this fool is girls dig a guy in uniform...

0:02:19 > 0:02:22..the bad news is they also dig a guy with teeth.

0:02:26 > 0:02:28Take a look at this girl...

0:02:28 > 0:02:30SHE SCREAMS

0:02:32 > 0:02:33..now forget about her.

0:02:33 > 0:02:37Pretend you never saw it and let's never talk about this again.

0:02:44 > 0:02:45Oh!

0:02:45 > 0:02:48Time to get a new career, sucker!

0:02:48 > 0:02:51Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

0:02:51 > 0:02:53Don't take offence if I call you a chump, fool.

0:02:55 > 0:02:56Russia.

0:02:56 > 0:02:59I don't know what that chain is for...

0:02:59 > 0:03:02but I'm pretty sure it ain't for you to do that.

0:03:02 > 0:03:06What do I know? I didn't put it there...or did I?

0:03:07 > 0:03:08I can't remember.

0:03:09 > 0:03:12Here's some people playing volleyball on a beach.

0:03:12 > 0:03:15If you are playing sport, you need to bring your A game.

0:03:15 > 0:03:18At best, these people have brought their D game or E game.

0:03:21 > 0:03:22GIRLS LAUGHING

0:03:22 > 0:03:25It may even be all the way down to M, N, O, P game!

0:03:31 > 0:03:36The bank may be closed but this fool is open for business 24/7.

0:03:46 > 0:03:47Albania -

0:03:47 > 0:03:50this here's Albania number one acrobat troupe...

0:03:50 > 0:03:53it's also Albania only acrobat troupe.

0:03:53 > 0:03:56They should get some more acrobat troupes...

0:03:56 > 0:03:57Ah! Argh!

0:03:57 > 0:03:59..this one ain't no good.

0:04:00 > 0:04:03Hey, who wants to join me for a game of stupid?

0:04:04 > 0:04:06Ah!

0:04:06 > 0:04:08That's how you win at stupid.

0:04:08 > 0:04:09Ah!

0:04:09 > 0:04:13Ever seen footage of a kid on a branch end well?

0:04:13 > 0:04:15It's not going to... Oh!

0:04:15 > 0:04:16No.

0:04:16 > 0:04:18Argh!

0:04:18 > 0:04:21Well, this one ain't going to break tradition.

0:04:21 > 0:04:23I don't know why they're called funfairs -

0:04:23 > 0:04:26they ain't fun and they ain't fair.

0:04:26 > 0:04:29They should call them unfair-fairs.

0:04:29 > 0:04:32Whoever needs to make that happen, make it happen.

0:04:33 > 0:04:34These folks are celebrating

0:04:34 > 0:04:37cos they just found the biggest fool in Germany.

0:04:39 > 0:04:40'Oh!'

0:04:40 > 0:04:43Hoorah! We've got him! It took a while but it was worth it.

0:04:46 > 0:04:48'Oh! Oh.'

0:04:49 > 0:04:52Here are some kids on their way to school.

0:04:52 > 0:04:53Ah!

0:04:53 > 0:04:57Looks like one or two weren't wearing their seatbelt.

0:04:58 > 0:05:01Now they're wearing the roof on their head.

0:05:01 > 0:05:03Remember, kids, always buckle up.

0:05:06 > 0:05:08CROWD: Whoa!

0:05:08 > 0:05:10Smooth move, sucker.

0:05:10 > 0:05:11Oh!

0:05:13 > 0:05:16The next ramp he will be going up will be outside the hospital -

0:05:16 > 0:05:18don't worry, he's OK.

0:05:21 > 0:05:23Check out these jerks.

0:05:23 > 0:05:27They're seeing how far they can chuck their computer keyboard.

0:05:28 > 0:05:29Don't ask my why!

0:05:29 > 0:05:31Seems like a pretty stupid way to pass the time,

0:05:31 > 0:05:33if you want my opinion.

0:05:35 > 0:05:37It's all right, it's over now.

0:05:37 > 0:05:39You're safe with me.

0:05:39 > 0:05:42You should respect your property instead of throwing it around

0:05:42 > 0:05:45and breaking it, and that goes for phones too.

0:05:45 > 0:05:47Don't throw your phone around,

0:05:47 > 0:05:51no matter how dumb the person on the other end is.

0:05:51 > 0:05:54PHONE RINGING

0:07:13 > 0:07:16There is nothing better than working outdoors.

0:07:16 > 0:07:18Sometimes you just want to rip off your shirt

0:07:18 > 0:07:21and pick up a shovel, and start digging a hole.

0:07:21 > 0:07:25The last time I did that, I created the Grand Canyon.

0:07:25 > 0:07:27It's doing pretty well.

0:07:27 > 0:07:30Here's some clips of workmen going about their business.

0:07:39 > 0:07:42These guys are trying to demolish a building in Lithuania.

0:07:42 > 0:07:46If you going to be using explosive, you better know what you're doing.

0:07:52 > 0:07:54CHEERING 'Oh, yeah!'

0:07:56 > 0:07:59You need to have seen at least three series of The A-Team

0:07:59 > 0:08:02before you'll qualify to blow things up.

0:08:07 > 0:08:09How much is this truck driver getting paid?

0:08:11 > 0:08:12The answer...

0:08:12 > 0:08:14MEN SHOUTING

0:08:16 > 0:08:18..too much.

0:08:18 > 0:08:19It's like my mother used to say,

0:08:19 > 0:08:22"Son, if you were paid what you're worth,

0:08:22 > 0:08:24"you ain't worth what you paid."

0:08:24 > 0:08:28Listen up, drivers...you need to be careful in icy conditions.

0:08:30 > 0:08:35Careful you don't get impaled by a forklift truck, for instance.

0:08:35 > 0:08:36Don't worry, he's OK.

0:08:53 > 0:08:55I like cranes...

0:08:55 > 0:08:57I don't think I need to explain why.

0:09:11 > 0:09:14"And that's lunch. Back at two, everyone!

0:09:14 > 0:09:15"Good job."

0:09:18 > 0:09:21This crane is out of control...

0:09:23 > 0:09:26..they're trying to stop it by putting bits of wood in front of it.

0:09:30 > 0:09:32That ain't working.

0:09:32 > 0:09:36Here's a better idea, try putting a bridge in front of it.

0:09:36 > 0:09:37You're welcome.

0:09:40 > 0:09:44Next up, we got some lucky fools who stared death in the face

0:09:44 > 0:09:46and came out on the other side.

0:09:46 > 0:09:50These clips are so incredible, you won't believe your eyes.

0:09:50 > 0:09:53You will want to take your eyes out and get new ones

0:09:53 > 0:09:55but don't do that! Your eyes are fine.

0:09:55 > 0:09:58It's these clips that's all messed up.

0:10:06 > 0:10:09First up, here's some lucky fools

0:10:09 > 0:10:11who nearly get hit by a runaway truck.

0:10:16 > 0:10:18It's no surprise that truck is running away.

0:10:18 > 0:10:20It's always running away!

0:10:20 > 0:10:22Wherever it is, it ain't welcome.

0:10:23 > 0:10:27This photographer is on a racetrack, looking for some good action shots.

0:10:29 > 0:10:31How's that, sucker? Close enough for you?

0:10:36 > 0:10:38Here's a skateboarder...

0:10:38 > 0:10:41he can't use his skateboard properly.

0:10:44 > 0:10:47He can't even get run over by a car properly.

0:10:47 > 0:10:50What can this guy do properly? He's OK.

0:10:51 > 0:10:54This is a pedestrian crossing.

0:10:54 > 0:10:57This is a bus that don't care about that pedestrian.

0:10:58 > 0:11:00This is one lucky pedestrian.

0:11:01 > 0:11:06Check out this drunk fool who walks into the road without looking.

0:11:06 > 0:11:08HORN BEEPING

0:11:08 > 0:11:10Remember your Highway Code, kids -

0:11:10 > 0:11:14look left, look right, don't walk into any vehicles.

0:11:14 > 0:11:15Simple.

0:11:15 > 0:11:19And while I'm on the subject, don't walk into any trains either.

0:11:24 > 0:11:25Trains are mean,

0:11:25 > 0:11:28they don't feel pain and won't get out of your way.

0:11:28 > 0:11:31Keep off the track - that's where trains attack.

0:11:35 > 0:11:37Keep your eye on this old guy.

0:11:37 > 0:11:40He wants to go one-on-one with a rally car.

0:11:41 > 0:11:45Nothing's going to get in the way of him and his lottery ticket.

0:11:47 > 0:11:50Here's a tip - if you're going to take crazy risks like this fool,

0:11:50 > 0:11:52make sure your feet work.

0:11:56 > 0:11:59It looks at first glance like this guy got lucky...

0:12:03 > 0:12:06..but he's got unlucky, he's delivering my vegetables,

0:12:06 > 0:12:09and if my vegetables are late, there going to be a ruckus!

0:12:11 > 0:12:14Pick up my bok choy, fool. I got stir-fry to fry.

0:12:18 > 0:12:20If you really don't want to fall down a deep hole

0:12:20 > 0:12:22covered in thin glass,

0:12:22 > 0:12:24then don't roller-skate on it.

0:12:25 > 0:12:26Ah!

0:12:26 > 0:12:29Oh, fuck, help me, please. Please. Fuck.

0:12:34 > 0:12:37This guy's standing next to a railway line

0:12:37 > 0:12:39and he doesn't even realise it.

0:12:42 > 0:12:45He realised it now. You got lucky, fool.

0:12:45 > 0:12:48It's not a good idea to play games with death...

0:12:49 > 0:12:52..not even fun games like Monopoly or Buckaroo.

0:12:55 > 0:12:57Check out this chump bowling.

0:12:59 > 0:13:03Started off foolish, but sometimes a fool's so foolish,

0:13:03 > 0:13:05they go full circle and look smart.

0:13:05 > 0:13:09Yeah. Oh! Oh, oh! Oh!

0:13:09 > 0:13:11Don't look so dumb now, do it?

0:13:12 > 0:13:14But guess what?

0:13:14 > 0:13:16Foot fault, sucker. Mark him zero.

0:13:16 > 0:13:18Holy shit.

0:13:18 > 0:13:21If you memorise your car insurance detail,

0:13:21 > 0:13:23that could mean one of two things -

0:13:23 > 0:13:25one, you got a great memory,

0:13:25 > 0:13:28or, two, you are crashing your car too much.

0:13:28 > 0:13:30And if it's the second one,

0:13:30 > 0:13:34then you just in time for my rules for driving fools.

0:13:40 > 0:13:42Mr T's rules for driving fools.

0:13:44 > 0:13:49Rule one, always remember that safety is definitely more important

0:13:49 > 0:13:51than irony when driving.

0:13:51 > 0:13:53Rule two, when driving,

0:13:53 > 0:13:56it's traditional to have your wheels on the road.

0:13:56 > 0:13:59Other methods have proved less effective.

0:13:59 > 0:14:00It's also, sort of, the law.

0:14:02 > 0:14:06Rule three, if your mechanic says your car needs water,

0:14:06 > 0:14:08double check you know what he means.

0:14:08 > 0:14:13Rule four, some journeys require taking the car and the train

0:14:13 > 0:14:16but rarely at the same time.

0:14:16 > 0:14:20Rule five, vehicles are not humans.

0:14:20 > 0:14:23They do not need to sleep and they do not need pillows...

0:14:23 > 0:14:28but a little lie down does nobody harm...except vehicles.

0:14:28 > 0:14:32Rule six, just one for cab drivers, this,

0:14:32 > 0:14:34bears are bad tippers.

0:14:34 > 0:14:39Rule seven, not all buildings are multi-storey car parks.

0:14:39 > 0:14:41Unless you see a clear sign,

0:14:41 > 0:14:44do not assume you can park on the top level.

0:14:44 > 0:14:46Rule eight...

0:14:46 > 0:14:50WTF? How the hell did that happen?!

0:14:50 > 0:14:52Sorry, back to the rules.

0:14:52 > 0:14:54And finally, rule nine...

0:14:55 > 0:14:58..sometimes you don't even need to make a joke about a picture.

0:15:00 > 0:15:03What has two wheels and goes really fast?

0:15:03 > 0:15:06Me holding two wheels!

0:15:06 > 0:15:10But enough of that. Here are some clips of fools on motorbikes.

0:15:10 > 0:15:12Put your helmet on, it's going to be a bumpy ride.

0:15:26 > 0:15:28- Oh!- Holy shit!

0:15:28 > 0:15:30That's the thing with motorbikes...

0:15:30 > 0:15:33they're much harder to crash on two wheels than one.

0:15:34 > 0:15:36Don't worry, he's OK.

0:15:36 > 0:15:40But you don't have to be going fast on one wheel to crash a motorbike.

0:15:40 > 0:15:43They can crash nearly anywhere, at any speed.

0:15:46 > 0:15:47It's a versatile machine.

0:15:54 > 0:15:58There's a time and a place for playing piggyback.

0:15:58 > 0:15:59Ah!

0:16:00 > 0:16:04The middle of a dirt bike rally in Brazil is not one of them.

0:16:04 > 0:16:05Ah!

0:16:05 > 0:16:08Don't worry, the only thing that was hurt was his pride.

0:16:08 > 0:16:09Ah!

0:16:14 > 0:16:16Slovakia.

0:16:16 > 0:16:18You may not heard of Slovakia

0:16:18 > 0:16:22but, as you can see, they have fools there, too.

0:16:22 > 0:16:25Fools get everywhere. Nowhere is safe.

0:16:25 > 0:16:26This guy was OK.

0:16:30 > 0:16:33You see, this is why we practise.

0:16:33 > 0:16:35We practise so we can get better at stuff.

0:16:37 > 0:16:38MAN LAUGHING

0:16:38 > 0:16:41We'll come back and see this guy in ten years -

0:16:41 > 0:16:44maybe then he'll have something impressive to show us?

0:16:46 > 0:16:49If you want to go rock climbing, go rock climbing.

0:16:51 > 0:16:53Don't expect your bike to go with you.

0:16:57 > 0:16:59This guy knows every trick in the book.

0:17:00 > 0:17:05Unfortunately, the book is called The Fool's Guide To Breaking Bones.

0:17:05 > 0:17:07'Oh!

0:17:07 > 0:17:09'Holy cow!

0:17:10 > 0:17:12'Oh!'

0:17:13 > 0:17:16Things haven't changed over the course of two clips...

0:17:17 > 0:17:20..bikes still don't like rock climbing.

0:17:26 > 0:17:29Remember, if your motorbike is out of control...

0:17:30 > 0:17:34there are brakes for slowing down and handlebars for steering.

0:17:34 > 0:17:36It's all in the user's manual.

0:17:36 > 0:17:40If your user manual is in Japanese, then learn Japanese.

0:17:42 > 0:17:44It must be exhausting, being a fool all the time.

0:17:44 > 0:17:46Look at these guys.

0:17:46 > 0:17:47Help!

0:17:48 > 0:17:52They really hit the wall. That joke is copyrighted to Mr T...

0:17:52 > 0:17:53Help!

0:17:53 > 0:17:55..2012.

0:17:56 > 0:17:58This guy's got real talent -

0:17:58 > 0:18:01not for motorcycling, he's appalling at that...

0:18:04 > 0:18:08..his talent is for smashing up cars in new and surprising ways.

0:18:09 > 0:18:11Don't worry, he's OK.

0:18:12 > 0:18:14A lot of people ask me,

0:18:14 > 0:18:18"Mr T, how many people is too many people on a motorbike?"

0:18:19 > 0:18:24I always say, as a rule of thumb, anything over one is too much.

0:18:30 > 0:18:31Hey, listen to me,

0:18:31 > 0:18:36if you're a fool and thinking about getting on a motorcycle, don't.

0:18:36 > 0:18:39Go lie down in a empty room, turn off the lights

0:18:39 > 0:18:41and wait for help instead.

0:18:43 > 0:18:45The following is a true story.

0:18:47 > 0:18:51In October 1987, Mathieu Boya, of Benin,

0:18:51 > 0:18:56was practising his golf in a field next to the national airbase.

0:18:56 > 0:18:59He hit what he later described as a "glorious slice,"

0:18:59 > 0:19:02which sailed high into the air and hit a passing bird.

0:19:03 > 0:19:07The stunned creature fell directly into the open cockpit

0:19:07 > 0:19:11of one of Benin's five Mirage jets that was taxiing on the runway.

0:19:11 > 0:19:14The startled pilot lost control of the plane,

0:19:14 > 0:19:16which ploughed straight into the only other four planes

0:19:16 > 0:19:18in Benin's air force.

0:19:19 > 0:19:23The ensuing fireball wiped out all five planes.

0:19:23 > 0:19:26In fact, it wiped out Benin's entire air force,

0:19:26 > 0:19:28at an estimated cost of 40 million.

0:19:30 > 0:19:34As the bill would have taken him 145,000 years to repay

0:19:34 > 0:19:35on his current wage,

0:19:35 > 0:19:40he was sent to jail and given a lifetime ban from playing golf.

0:19:40 > 0:19:45"I'm just walking along, minding my own business. Oh, no!

0:19:45 > 0:19:49"It's a lion! He's going to eat me. Please, somebody, help me."

0:19:50 > 0:19:53"Don't worry, lady. Mr T's here."

0:19:53 > 0:19:56That's something that happened to me last Tuesday,

0:19:56 > 0:19:58but if you not trained in dealing with wild animals,

0:19:58 > 0:20:00then I suggest you leave them alone.

0:20:08 > 0:20:11- We're going for a somersault?- 'No!'

0:20:11 > 0:20:12'Don't you dare!'

0:20:13 > 0:20:16'Oh, Grah...' SHE LAUGHS

0:20:16 > 0:20:19Ugly. It's just plain ugly.

0:20:19 > 0:20:21It's about the ugliest thing I ever seen.

0:20:26 > 0:20:27This lady is a horse whisperer...

0:20:33 > 0:20:36I don't know what she's whispering but I think the horse liked it.

0:20:44 > 0:20:45Morocco -

0:20:45 > 0:20:48this clip is so insane...

0:20:48 > 0:20:51you going to be 10% insaner just by watching it.

0:20:56 > 0:20:57Oh!

0:21:00 > 0:21:06Poland - and this car has picked up an unusual hitchhiker.

0:21:06 > 0:21:08Also, there's a cow in the boot.

0:21:08 > 0:21:10COW MOOS

0:21:10 > 0:21:12MEN LAUGHING

0:21:16 > 0:21:19Look at this man, his trousers are too low.

0:21:19 > 0:21:22He's showing us the top of his butt - I don't need to see that.

0:21:22 > 0:21:25The horse don't need to see that, either.

0:21:25 > 0:21:27"Put some underpants on," the horse is thinking...

0:21:27 > 0:21:28Ah!

0:21:28 > 0:21:31"..then you can think about riding me."

0:21:31 > 0:21:35One of the most majestic sights in the animal kingdom -

0:21:35 > 0:21:37the eye of the tiger!

0:21:38 > 0:21:42Hey, Mum, Dad, what's going on? All right, this is it.

0:21:42 > 0:21:45I'd like to introduce you to the newest member of our family.

0:21:45 > 0:21:48Come here, buddy. Come here. Come here.

0:21:48 > 0:21:54Hey, you guys, this is Jerry. He's my new pug.

0:21:54 > 0:21:55He's a really good boy.

0:21:57 > 0:21:59Oh, my God.

0:21:59 > 0:22:01Oh, my gosh.

0:22:01 > 0:22:02Oh, my God!

0:22:02 > 0:22:06As you can see, animals are very good at sniffing out fools.

0:22:06 > 0:22:08He's a really good boy.

0:22:10 > 0:22:11Oh, my God.

0:22:11 > 0:22:13This penguin has found one.

0:22:13 > 0:22:17It has decided to attack - run, fool, you've been rumbled.

0:22:20 > 0:22:22MEN LAUGHING

0:22:26 > 0:22:30Put that rat down, fool. Rats ain't pets.

0:22:30 > 0:22:31Ah!

0:22:31 > 0:22:35That's what happens when you get too close to a rat.

0:22:35 > 0:22:37Oh, hang on a minute. Is that a dog?

0:22:37 > 0:22:39Ah!

0:22:39 > 0:22:43Don't worry, no animals was harmed in the making of those clips,

0:22:43 > 0:22:46only stupid fools, and nobody cares about them!

0:22:46 > 0:22:47Next up, it's this...

0:22:52 > 0:22:55Hello and welcome to Mr T's School For Fools.

0:22:56 > 0:23:00I'm Coach T and this is your PE lesson.

0:23:00 > 0:23:04What does PE stand for? Pain and exertion.

0:23:04 > 0:23:07Today, I'm going to tell you how not to play sports.

0:23:07 > 0:23:10Sport one - basketball.

0:23:12 > 0:23:13- No! No!- Oh!

0:23:13 > 0:23:15CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:23:24 > 0:23:29That is how not to pay basketball. Sport two - pole vault.

0:23:33 > 0:23:34Ah!

0:23:36 > 0:23:41That is how not to pole vault. Sport three - soccer ball.

0:23:46 > 0:23:48That is how not to play soccer ball.

0:23:48 > 0:23:50So now you know how not to play sport,

0:23:50 > 0:23:52go out there and don't play them.

0:23:52 > 0:23:57Now, drop and give me 100. Grrr! Grr.

0:23:58 > 0:24:02Back in the '80s, I invented a little thing called skiing,

0:24:02 > 0:24:07but it was stupid and I hated it, so I immediately disinvented it.

0:24:07 > 0:24:10As far as I knew, that was the end of it.

0:24:10 > 0:24:13Imagine my horror when I saw the following clips.

0:24:24 > 0:24:28Sitting on a tea tray being dragged by a car -

0:24:28 > 0:24:30are there any better ways to pass the time?

0:24:31 > 0:24:33Ah! Ah!

0:24:33 > 0:24:36Yep, all the other ways are better than this.

0:24:36 > 0:24:38Ah! Ah!

0:24:38 > 0:24:40Don't worry, the dog was OK.

0:24:44 > 0:24:47Sometimes I get so angry at fools, I have to go home

0:24:47 > 0:24:50and punch my wall, just to get the anger out of my system.

0:24:51 > 0:24:54You should see my wall - it's a mess.

0:25:00 > 0:25:02MAN LAUGHING

0:25:02 > 0:25:07Grrr! Where's my wall? I want to punch my wall right now.

0:25:08 > 0:25:11My wall is lucky, it's back home holding up my house,

0:25:11 > 0:25:13or it would be in trouble.

0:25:15 > 0:25:17If you're going to do something dumb,

0:25:17 > 0:25:20make sure you got a friend nearby, in case anything goes wrong.

0:25:22 > 0:25:23Ah!

0:25:23 > 0:25:27Who else is going to film it and show everyone what a doofus you are?

0:25:27 > 0:25:30Ah! Ah!

0:25:30 > 0:25:32This fool is so ashamed of himself...

0:25:32 > 0:25:33Ah!

0:25:33 > 0:25:37He's trying to bury his head in the snow -

0:25:37 > 0:25:39good idea...

0:25:39 > 0:25:40Ah!

0:25:40 > 0:25:41..bad execution.

0:25:41 > 0:25:43Ah!

0:25:47 > 0:25:48Oh!

0:25:48 > 0:25:51I'm feeling like I want to punch my wall again.

0:25:51 > 0:25:53Maybe I'll do 100 push-ups instead?

0:25:53 > 0:25:55MR T GRUNTS

0:25:55 > 0:25:57There, all done.

0:25:58 > 0:25:59That's better.

0:25:59 > 0:26:01Oh!

0:26:02 > 0:26:06This guy's breaking street lamps, one at a time.

0:26:06 > 0:26:08- Oh!- 'Are you OK?'

0:26:08 > 0:26:11He won't be happy until he plunges the whole world into darkness

0:26:11 > 0:26:15but he forgot about the daytime. See you in 12 hours, fool.

0:26:15 > 0:26:17'Are you OK?'

0:26:17 > 0:26:19I just can't breathe that well.

0:26:19 > 0:26:23'Tell you what, I'm a taxpayer and you've damaged my light.'

0:26:28 > 0:26:29Two words...

0:26:30 > 0:26:31.."ski" and "sucks".

0:26:32 > 0:26:33'Holy crap.'

0:26:34 > 0:26:35'Turn!'

0:26:35 > 0:26:38'Oh, my God. Holy crap!

0:26:38 > 0:26:40- 'Oh, my...'- Holy shit!

0:26:40 > 0:26:43There's got to be an easier way of getting around that fence.

0:26:43 > 0:26:44'Oh...'

0:26:44 > 0:26:48I've got it - why not try walking around?

0:26:48 > 0:26:50'Oh! Oh, my God, Ronnie.'

0:26:50 > 0:26:51This problem's solved.

0:26:51 > 0:26:53'He's...'

0:27:01 > 0:27:02As I've already told you...

0:27:06 > 0:27:08..fools are everywhere...

0:27:12 > 0:27:15..the only way to keep safe...

0:27:17 > 0:27:20..is to be ready for them at all time...

0:27:21 > 0:27:23..don't get ready, stay ready!

0:27:27 > 0:27:30You might want to pick a new hobby, sucker.

0:27:30 > 0:27:33How about rolling down the hill?

0:27:33 > 0:27:35Seems like you pretty good at that.

0:27:37 > 0:27:38'Argh!'

0:27:41 > 0:27:43That's the end of the show.

0:27:43 > 0:27:45Stop crying, now. Pull yourself together!

0:27:45 > 0:27:49I'll be back next week. Until then, take care of yourselves.

0:27:49 > 0:27:52And, remember, you only live once

0:27:52 > 0:27:54but if you do it right, once is enough.

0:27:54 > 0:27:57See you next time. So long, suckers.

0:28:06 > 0:28:09Ah! Grr!

0:28:34 > 0:28:38Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd