0:00:16 > 0:00:18CHEERING
0:00:24 > 0:00:26Good evening and welcome to a very special edition
0:00:26 > 0:00:30of previously unseen clips from this series of Would I Lie To You?
0:00:30 > 0:00:32Joining David Mitchell tonight...
0:00:32 > 0:00:34Claudia Winkleman.
0:00:34 > 0:00:35Nick Robinson.
0:00:35 > 0:00:36Nadiya Hussain.
0:00:36 > 0:00:37David Haye.
0:00:37 > 0:00:39Romesh Ranganathan.
0:00:39 > 0:00:40Catherine Ryan.
0:00:40 > 0:00:42John Simpson.
0:00:42 > 0:00:43Professor Kate Williams.
0:00:43 > 0:00:45Michael Smiley.
0:00:45 > 0:00:46And Jason Manford.
0:00:46 > 0:00:48And joining Lee Mack tonight...
0:00:48 > 0:00:49Bob Mortimer.
0:00:49 > 0:00:51Mel Giedroyc.
0:00:51 > 0:00:53Harry Shearer. Brian Blessed.
0:00:53 > 0:00:54Diane Morgan.
0:00:54 > 0:00:56Martin Kemp.
0:00:56 > 0:00:57Sara Cox.
0:00:57 > 0:00:59Hugh Dennis.
0:00:59 > 0:01:00And Tracy-Ann Oberman.
0:01:00 > 0:01:03So we begin with Round 1, Home Truths, where our panellists
0:01:03 > 0:01:06each read out a statement from the card in front of them.
0:01:06 > 0:01:09To make things harder, they've never seen the card before -
0:01:09 > 0:01:11they've no idea what they'll be faced with.
0:01:11 > 0:01:14It's up to the opposing team to sort the fact from the fiction.
0:01:14 > 0:01:18David Haye, you're first up tonight...
0:01:18 > 0:01:21- Possession.- Possession, ah, there's a box under your desk.
0:01:21 > 0:01:24- There's a little card in there... - Yeah.
0:01:24 > 0:01:28Just read the card first and then show us what's in the box.
0:01:29 > 0:01:33This is a dog toy I chew to release tension before a fight.
0:01:35 > 0:01:39Right, now, pop the toy on the desk, put the box back down.
0:01:39 > 0:01:42Do you chew this every fight?
0:01:42 > 0:01:45Before every fight, yeah. Like, day-of situation.
0:01:45 > 0:01:48Do what you do, David, before... Imagine it's before a fight.
0:01:48 > 0:01:51TOY SQUEAKS
0:01:54 > 0:01:57Can I just say, David, that your eyes at that moment
0:01:57 > 0:02:00definitely said, "I wasn't expecting that."
0:02:06 > 0:02:09- This relaxes you before a fight? - Yeah.
0:02:09 > 0:02:11When you say before a fight, you mean the hour before?
0:02:11 > 0:02:14When I'm in the hotel before the fight. I normally get to the hotel...
0:02:14 > 0:02:17If I'm fighting at 10pm, I get to the hotel around four or five,
0:02:17 > 0:02:21just chilling out there, I'll just lie on the bed just thinking...
0:02:21 > 0:02:23TOY SQUEAKS
0:02:23 > 0:02:25And it makes me feel comfortable. Then I go to sleep, wake up,
0:02:25 > 0:02:27I'm charged - feeling good.
0:02:27 > 0:02:29What about the people in the room, next to you in the hotel,
0:02:29 > 0:02:31what are they thinking is happening?
0:02:31 > 0:02:34Yeah, do they think you're making love to a clown?
0:02:35 > 0:02:39- Are we allowed to look at it?- Yeah. - Yes.- Let's have a little look.
0:02:39 > 0:02:41TOY SQUEAKS
0:02:42 > 0:02:45- Right, it has been quite chewed. - It has been chewed.
0:02:45 > 0:02:47So, what are you going to see, Lee, is it the truth
0:02:47 > 0:02:49or has he made this up?
0:02:49 > 0:02:52- I don't know. What do we think? - No.- You don't think he...?
0:02:52 > 0:02:53No, I think that's a lie.
0:02:53 > 0:02:56- What do you think? - It is well-chewed.
0:02:56 > 0:02:59- TOY SQUEAKS - But then, somebody here, backstage, could have chewed on it
0:02:59 > 0:03:03- for a couple... - That's a hard job, isn't it?
0:03:03 > 0:03:05"What am I doing today?" "Well, it's your lucky day -
0:03:05 > 0:03:07"get chewing on that for two hours."
0:03:08 > 0:03:10They might have done.
0:03:10 > 0:03:11"I hate this job!"
0:03:11 > 0:03:13TOY SQUEAKS
0:03:15 > 0:03:18"One day, I'm going to be Director-General."
0:03:18 > 0:03:20So what are you going to say?
0:03:20 > 0:03:23- We'll go for a lie. - You're saying it's a lie?- Yeah.
0:03:23 > 0:03:24OK, David, truth or lie?
0:03:24 > 0:03:26It's a lie.
0:03:29 > 0:03:30Bob, you're up next...
0:03:32 > 0:03:37I recently had to charm a spider out of my shoe
0:03:37 > 0:03:39by tooting a flute at it.
0:03:41 > 0:03:43David's team...
0:03:46 > 0:03:48So, where were you?
0:03:48 > 0:03:53- I was at home.- So was this spider a normal British domestic spider?
0:03:53 > 0:03:55- Yes.- How big was it, Bob?- It was...
0:03:55 > 0:03:58- It's black...but... - And what colour was it?
0:04:03 > 0:04:08It's not the ones that have got a little body and big long legs.
0:04:08 > 0:04:12Sorry, it wasn't the type with a small body and long legs?
0:04:12 > 0:04:15- No.- What type was it?- You can work the rest out yourself, surely?
0:04:16 > 0:04:20- Big body, small legs.- Yeah. - Was this a gerbil?
0:04:21 > 0:04:24- No, that's a bird, you idiot. - If it was a gerbil,
0:04:24 > 0:04:25I would have used a lute!
0:04:27 > 0:04:28Honestly...
0:04:30 > 0:04:33It's actually just a very everyday situation.
0:04:33 > 0:04:36My wife doesn't like spiders, very scared of them.
0:04:36 > 0:04:39It's kind of my job to get rid of spiders.
0:04:39 > 0:04:43I don't like them either, I'm not going to use my hands or whatever.
0:04:43 > 0:04:45Can you mime the blow moment?
0:04:45 > 0:04:47- Don't fall for this.- Sorry?
0:04:49 > 0:04:52He gets me with this every week, don't fall for it, Bob.
0:04:52 > 0:04:54"I've got just the thing for you if you haven't got a flute -
0:04:54 > 0:04:56"close your eyes."
0:04:57 > 0:05:00Don't fall for it, do not...
0:05:00 > 0:05:03- Did you blow it into the shoe? - Yes, I blew down the flute
0:05:03 > 0:05:05to bring it out into the heel area.
0:05:05 > 0:05:09- These were a kind of snakeskin elastic slipper.- Yeah.
0:05:09 > 0:05:11Just under the windowsill -
0:05:11 > 0:05:13above where the cat litter is...
0:05:13 > 0:05:16I put them there cos I wanted to get that height and it didn't come out.
0:05:16 > 0:05:20- So you moved...- I tapped it... - ..the slipper with the spider in it?
0:05:20 > 0:05:25I moved it, facing the cupboard where I keep the plates -
0:05:25 > 0:05:26it's got little holes in it -
0:05:26 > 0:05:29and the spider emerged.
0:05:29 > 0:05:32So, the spider emerged but didn't leave the shoe or slipper?
0:05:32 > 0:05:35- No, it didn't leave the slipper. - Didn't leave the slipper...
0:05:35 > 0:05:37Had a look around... Back in?
0:05:37 > 0:05:39So you were no better off, were you?
0:05:39 > 0:05:41I didn't feel like I was better off,
0:05:41 > 0:05:44but at least I found out that we owned a flute, as a family.
0:05:44 > 0:05:46If I was scared of spiders,
0:05:46 > 0:05:49I wouldn't go anywhere near that slipper. I'd just leave it.
0:05:49 > 0:05:51I'm not that scared.
0:05:51 > 0:05:54- I'm ginger about them.- OK.
0:05:54 > 0:05:56- Ginger?- Is that right?
0:05:56 > 0:05:58- DAVID:- It is.- It's a word....
0:06:00 > 0:06:03I'm just not sure it's the correct word in that situation.
0:06:03 > 0:06:05You pick something up gingerly.
0:06:05 > 0:06:08It doesn't just mean the flavour ginger.
0:06:08 > 0:06:12A ginger nut is not just a biscuit.
0:06:12 > 0:06:15It could be a tentative testicle.
0:06:15 > 0:06:18LAUGHTER
0:06:22 > 0:06:24Do you now know who the flute belongs to?
0:06:24 > 0:06:28- Yes, of course, it was my son's flute.- Is he a flautist?
0:06:28 > 0:06:32No. We hoped he would be, but he could never find the flute.
0:06:36 > 0:06:38APPLAUSE
0:06:40 > 0:06:42Well, what are you thinking?
0:06:42 > 0:06:45- Well, what I'm confused by is if you fear spiders...- I do a bit.
0:06:45 > 0:06:48..and you believe that there's a spider in this shoe,
0:06:48 > 0:06:52- I think you would be afraid to move the shoe.- Not at all.
0:06:52 > 0:06:54I also think you would have worried about,
0:06:54 > 0:06:58as you go to take the breath to blow it, you accidentally breathe in.
0:06:58 > 0:07:00Yeah, yeah, yeah!
0:07:00 > 0:07:03I don't have to breathe in to breathe out.
0:07:03 > 0:07:05LAUGHTER
0:07:09 > 0:07:11Michael, which way are you leaning?
0:07:11 > 0:07:15It sounds too much like the surreal world of Bob Mortimer
0:07:15 > 0:07:17to be actually the truth, I think it's a lie.
0:07:17 > 0:07:19It's a lie? Do you think it's a lie?
0:07:19 > 0:07:22Nobody in the world owns a flute really, do they?
0:07:25 > 0:07:29- We think it's a lie.- You think it's a lie. Bob, truth or lie?
0:07:29 > 0:07:31It was...
0:07:31 > 0:07:32A lie.
0:07:32 > 0:07:34APPLAUSE
0:07:37 > 0:07:38It's John.
0:07:39 > 0:07:41OK.
0:07:41 > 0:07:47I once saw a six-foot goldfish in the jungles of South America.
0:07:47 > 0:07:49Lee's team.
0:07:49 > 0:07:51- Were you working?- I was working.
0:07:51 > 0:07:56- What were you doing?- I was filming this village, this tribe,
0:07:56 > 0:08:01and they made me drink the hallucinogenic drug.
0:08:01 > 0:08:04Are you telling us now you imagined you saw a six-foot goldfish?
0:08:04 > 0:08:05Yeah.
0:08:05 > 0:08:09I don't think I imagined it - I mean, he spoke to me.
0:08:09 > 0:08:10He can't have been...
0:08:12 > 0:08:14APPLAUSE
0:08:14 > 0:08:16What did he say?
0:08:16 > 0:08:20He said, "How's it going, man?"
0:08:20 > 0:08:22And what did you say?
0:08:22 > 0:08:26I didn't say very much, because it isn't very often
0:08:26 > 0:08:30that a six-foot goldfish with a straw hat speaks to you.
0:08:30 > 0:08:32It's a rarity.
0:08:32 > 0:08:36- I think you'd agree.- Oh, definitely. - It doesn't happen every day.
0:08:36 > 0:08:38He had a straw hat on.
0:08:38 > 0:08:40And what did you have?
0:08:40 > 0:08:42This hallucinogenic drug they drink,
0:08:42 > 0:08:46and I thought I could take a little sip,
0:08:46 > 0:08:49and say, "Oh, yes, how nice, thank you very much.
0:08:49 > 0:08:52"Perhaps I'll drink the rest later," or something.
0:08:52 > 0:08:57The whole village crowded round to watch me drink it.
0:08:57 > 0:09:00Are you sure they were there, John?
0:09:00 > 0:09:04Of course they were there! I'd crowd around too if I was going
0:09:04 > 0:09:08to watch an old white man get off his face for the first time ever!
0:09:10 > 0:09:13And at first, nothing happened,
0:09:13 > 0:09:15and I was a little bit disappointed,
0:09:15 > 0:09:19and then the moon,
0:09:19 > 0:09:22there was a full moon, and it kind of came down on a spring
0:09:22 > 0:09:28right in my face, and the trees started talking to one another.
0:09:28 > 0:09:30Have I still got you with me?
0:09:30 > 0:09:33"Back to you in the studio."
0:09:35 > 0:09:38"John Simpson, off me face, Afghanistan."
0:09:39 > 0:09:41All right, so what are you thinking?
0:09:41 > 0:09:45- I think he probably is telling the truth.- I think it's a lie.
0:09:45 > 0:09:46I say it's a lie too.
0:09:46 > 0:09:48OK, they are saying it's a lie.
0:09:48 > 0:09:50John, truth or lie?
0:09:50 > 0:09:52Well, it's...
0:09:52 > 0:09:53true.
0:09:53 > 0:09:56APPLAUSE
0:09:57 > 0:09:59Kate, you're next.
0:09:59 > 0:10:04I used to eat so many carrots that I began to turn orange.
0:10:04 > 0:10:06Lee's team.
0:10:06 > 0:10:08Have you always had red hair?
0:10:08 > 0:10:10- Yes.- So it wasn't that that caused it.
0:10:10 > 0:10:13They made my face and my hands and my arms
0:10:13 > 0:10:16and this part of me go orange.
0:10:16 > 0:10:18How many carrots were you eating?
0:10:18 > 0:10:21Well, about 25 on a normal day.
0:10:21 > 0:10:2225 carrots?!
0:10:22 > 0:10:26Are you talking batons or real carrots?
0:10:26 > 0:10:28Real ones - big, hairy, organic carrots.
0:10:28 > 0:10:31If things got stressful and there was a lot of things going on,
0:10:31 > 0:10:33I could hit up to 50.
0:10:33 > 0:10:3650 carrots a day? Why were you doing this?
0:10:36 > 0:10:38Why would you not? They're really nice.
0:10:38 > 0:10:40- No!- They're not THAT nice.
0:10:40 > 0:10:42Have you ever tried a Twix?
0:10:44 > 0:10:47If you like carrots, a Twix will blow you away.
0:10:50 > 0:10:54Kate, have you ever seen the original film
0:10:54 > 0:10:56The Thing From Outer Space?
0:10:56 > 0:10:59James Arness plays the Thing, about nine feet tall,
0:10:59 > 0:11:01and they called him the carrot man.
0:11:01 > 0:11:03Is that what inspired you?
0:11:03 > 0:11:06LAUGHTER
0:11:09 > 0:11:12That's what I call a very specific question.
0:11:14 > 0:11:17I'll tell you, Brian, I did drink a lot of tea,
0:11:17 > 0:11:19I used to drink 25 cups of that,
0:11:19 > 0:11:20and I had to stop.
0:11:20 > 0:11:24In place of the 25 cups of tea, I ate carrots instead.
0:11:24 > 0:11:28- So the carrots were your tea methadone.- Yes.
0:11:28 > 0:11:31And what did you get off the carrots with?
0:11:31 > 0:11:32Heroin!
0:11:34 > 0:11:36And as soon as you stopped, it stopped, did it?
0:11:36 > 0:11:39Well, it was a fight, Lee. It was a fight to give up
0:11:39 > 0:11:41- these things that I'd loved. - But they're not addictive, carrots.
0:11:41 > 0:11:44- They're not like tea. - How do you know? They really are.
0:11:44 > 0:11:48I tell you how I know, cos I have a few and that's enough.
0:11:48 > 0:11:51You're telling yourself you haven't got a problem, Lee!
0:11:51 > 0:11:53So, Lee and team, what are you thinking of this?
0:11:53 > 0:11:56- Could she be telling the truth? - Kevin.
0:11:56 > 0:12:01- I think it's the truth.- OK. Brian? - I think you're telling the truth.
0:12:01 > 0:12:04- OK.- Two truths.- I'll go with my team.- OK.- My team say true.
0:12:04 > 0:12:06They're saying true.
0:12:06 > 0:12:08So, Kate, was that the truth or was it a lie?
0:12:08 > 0:12:10My love for carrots
0:12:10 > 0:12:12is absolutely true.
0:12:12 > 0:12:14Wow!
0:12:17 > 0:12:19- Martin Kemp, you're next.- All right.
0:12:19 > 0:12:21- Here we go.- Come on, Kempy. Come on!
0:12:21 > 0:12:25I was once rescued by London Underground staff
0:12:25 > 0:12:30after my New Romantic pantaloons got trapped in the escalator.
0:12:32 > 0:12:33David's team.
0:12:33 > 0:12:35- Can you describe the pantaloons? - Pantaloons are like..
0:12:35 > 0:12:37Oh, he's standing up.
0:12:37 > 0:12:39In those days, they used to come up to about there,
0:12:39 > 0:12:44up past your ankles, and they would kind of bend out like this.
0:12:44 > 0:12:45Like pirate's trousers.
0:12:45 > 0:12:48Yeah. Like pirate's trousers. Vivienne Westwood.
0:12:48 > 0:12:50How long ago was this?
0:12:50 > 0:12:531980s. Really early, though. This was before the band started.
0:12:53 > 0:12:57So it was while I was still going to the Blitz, which was kind of...
0:12:57 > 0:12:58In the '40s?!
0:12:58 > 0:13:02- Listen... - LEE IMITATES AIR RAID SIREN
0:13:02 > 0:13:06The last of the great pop cultures.
0:13:06 > 0:13:10- So, when you say the Blitz, this is a nightclub.- A nightclub.
0:13:10 > 0:13:12And I used to wear these pantaloons.
0:13:12 > 0:13:17And one night, we decided to have a party on the Circle Line
0:13:17 > 0:13:20that would completely just keep going around and around.
0:13:20 > 0:13:22Getting down to the Tube,
0:13:22 > 0:13:26my pantaloons got stuck in the escalator.
0:13:26 > 0:13:28And how long did it take them to arrive and free you?
0:13:28 > 0:13:30- Oh, it was a good 20 minutes. - Did it stop?
0:13:30 > 0:13:34- Did they turn off the escalator? - Yeah. It actually got jammed.
0:13:34 > 0:13:37- It got jammed?- Yeah, there was some kind of monitor in it or something.
0:13:37 > 0:13:39- It stopped it. - Back in what day was this?- 198...2?
0:13:39 > 0:13:42I don't like the sensors. There's no sensors back then.
0:13:42 > 0:13:44People used to get their fingers chopped off and all sorts.
0:13:44 > 0:13:48- In the early '80s... - This jammed it. It went right in...
0:13:48 > 0:13:50And as soon as you jammed in it, it stopped automatically?
0:13:50 > 0:13:54Yeah, because it pulled half of my trousers down.
0:13:54 > 0:13:58I don't believe that an early '80s pantaloon would be enough to
0:13:58 > 0:14:00stop the mechanism of the whole escalator.
0:14:00 > 0:14:04What decade of pantaloon would have been able to do that?
0:14:04 > 0:14:07- Listen...- Like a real pirate hessian pantaloon, that could stop anything.
0:14:07 > 0:14:10- That is exactly what they were. - Right.
0:14:10 > 0:14:11What are you thinking?
0:14:11 > 0:14:14I can see that the Haymaker is very dismissive.
0:14:14 > 0:14:17Well, I think it's a very good point you make about the mechanisms
0:14:17 > 0:14:20- of early '80s escalators.- Yeah. - Some of them were wooden.
0:14:20 > 0:14:22- Yeah. - I think they'd just keep turning.
0:14:22 > 0:14:25I don't think they'd stop because of a pantaloon.
0:14:25 > 0:14:28What year was the digital watch made? That was like...
0:14:28 > 0:14:31- Yeah, that will tie this all up together.- No, no, no.
0:14:31 > 0:14:34You're saying that the time when they just had digital watches,
0:14:34 > 0:14:38they had sensors that sensed when someone's trousers were stuck
0:14:38 > 0:14:40in a lift that stopped? I don't buy it.
0:14:40 > 0:14:43Don't underestimate the voluminosity of
0:14:43 > 0:14:45a Spandau Ballet pantaloon in '82.
0:14:45 > 0:14:48They were big. There was a lot of material in those pantaloons.
0:14:48 > 0:14:49Well, there had to be.
0:14:52 > 0:14:55- So, what are you going to say, David?- You think true.
0:14:55 > 0:14:59- I think true, yeah. - And you think lie.- I think lie.
0:14:59 > 0:15:03- I think it's a lie.- All right, Martin, is it a lie or is it true?
0:15:03 > 0:15:04This much is...
0:15:04 > 0:15:06lie.
0:15:11 > 0:15:13David, you're up next.
0:15:13 > 0:15:17I've yet to find the courage to make a contactless card payment.
0:15:17 > 0:15:19I considered it once,
0:15:19 > 0:15:23but decided that full PIN entry was the safer method.
0:15:24 > 0:15:27Lee's team, what do you think of that?
0:15:27 > 0:15:29What do you fear, David?
0:15:29 > 0:15:32- Well, it's a security risk, isn't it?- Why is it a security risk?
0:15:32 > 0:15:34Well, because you don't have to put in your PIN.
0:15:34 > 0:15:37The only security that's relevant is that you know it's you.
0:15:37 > 0:15:41If you know it's fine, contactless and the PIN is the same thing.
0:15:41 > 0:15:44Who among us can be sure of who we really are?
0:15:45 > 0:15:48Where did you consider using it, David?
0:15:48 > 0:15:50I've considered it a few times in a few places
0:15:50 > 0:15:54cos sometimes people suggest it, which I think's rather forward.
0:15:56 > 0:15:59You know, they suggest it - "I'm sorry, am I keeping you?"
0:15:59 > 0:16:04You know, "You haven't got time for me to enter four digits now?"
0:16:04 > 0:16:06- Do you have an Oyster card?- Yes.
0:16:06 > 0:16:09Ah, so you're happy with contactless there?
0:16:09 > 0:16:12If the Oyster card gave you the option of putting in a PIN,
0:16:12 > 0:16:16I'd be all for it, but that's never been set up like that.
0:16:16 > 0:16:19And I'm not so weird as to go into Oyster HQ and ask to have
0:16:19 > 0:16:24a particular high-security Oyster card issued especially for me.
0:16:24 > 0:16:26It's very hard to get into Oyster HQ, isn't it?
0:16:26 > 0:16:31You have to get, like, a knife, and prise it open.
0:16:31 > 0:16:35You have to get past Pearl on reception!
0:16:35 > 0:16:36Hey! Come on!
0:16:40 > 0:16:43Have you ever used it, then? Have you used it once?
0:16:43 > 0:16:45Erm...
0:16:45 > 0:16:47I've yet to find the courage, so no.
0:16:47 > 0:16:49- You have a mobile phone. - I have a mobile phone.
0:16:49 > 0:16:52Would you ever use Apple Pay? We can't call it that. Orange...
0:16:52 > 0:16:55Well, we can't do that. They're a company as well.
0:16:55 > 0:16:57Would you ever use, um, Pay?
0:16:57 > 0:16:59Would you ever use your mobile phone?
0:16:59 > 0:17:01You can. Cos I sometimes do that.
0:17:01 > 0:17:04I'm quite happy to get my phone out in M&S.
0:17:04 > 0:17:06And I feel quite cool.
0:17:06 > 0:17:08I hold it and it pays it.
0:17:08 > 0:17:10"Do you want the receipt? No". LAUGHTER
0:17:10 > 0:17:11No, I've never paid for anything like that.
0:17:11 > 0:17:13You've never played for anything with Apple Pay?
0:17:13 > 0:17:16- No.- What? What are you talking about? Have you just got a new...?
0:17:16 > 0:17:19Are you starting some new advert that we don't know about, Rob?
0:17:19 > 0:17:20LAUGHTER
0:17:20 > 0:17:22All right, so what do you think?
0:17:22 > 0:17:24- What do we think?- I'm very scared of it, so...- Scared of...
0:17:24 > 0:17:27- ..I empathise with that, so, yeah, why not?- Yeah, OK.
0:17:27 > 0:17:29It seems so obviously him.
0:17:29 > 0:17:31LAUGHTER You've got to go for a true.
0:17:31 > 0:17:33- I think he fears it, yeah. - OK. You are saying it's true?
0:17:33 > 0:17:36David, you fear contactless payment.
0:17:36 > 0:17:37Truth or lie?
0:17:37 > 0:17:38It is, in fact...
0:17:38 > 0:17:40a lie.
0:17:40 > 0:17:41Ooh, he loves it.
0:17:41 > 0:17:42APPLAUSE
0:17:44 > 0:17:46Tracy-Ann, you are up next.
0:17:46 > 0:17:50I have never, ever drunk a can of fizzy drink in my life.
0:17:50 > 0:17:51- What?! - LAUGHTER
0:17:51 > 0:17:53Never. Ever?
0:17:53 > 0:17:55There's a limit to what we can ask here.
0:17:55 > 0:17:57- LAUGHTER - Have you ever had a can of Coke?
0:17:57 > 0:17:59- Never.- Oh! Erm...
0:17:59 > 0:18:00LAUGHTER
0:18:00 > 0:18:017-Up?
0:18:01 > 0:18:02Nope.
0:18:02 > 0:18:04Do you not like fizzy drinks?
0:18:04 > 0:18:06All the evidence is there, isn't it?
0:18:06 > 0:18:07LAUGHTER
0:18:07 > 0:18:09How do you know you don't like fizzy drink?
0:18:09 > 0:18:11Because, to me, even as a child,
0:18:11 > 0:18:14water was something that was natural and lovely and pure.
0:18:14 > 0:18:16- Why somebody would stick carbon... - As a child?
0:18:16 > 0:18:18- As a teenager?! - ..with a whole load of sugar...
0:18:18 > 0:18:21Even as a young child, it just felt like the devil's work.
0:18:21 > 0:18:27So, Tracy-Ann, can I tempt you to try a sugary carbonated drink?
0:18:27 > 0:18:30- But...- Now, would you be willing to try one of these?
0:18:30 > 0:18:31Bring it over.
0:18:31 > 0:18:33And, well, let's see how far I can get in the process.
0:18:33 > 0:18:36Look, the whole thing with the big, famous one.
0:18:36 > 0:18:39It's 125 years old. It's a secret recipe.
0:18:39 > 0:18:42The fact that it is still a secret, after 125 years,
0:18:42 > 0:18:43means it was made by the devil.
0:18:43 > 0:18:44LAUGHTER
0:18:44 > 0:18:47This is a diet drink. This is full sugar.
0:18:47 > 0:18:49And this is also a sugary drink.
0:18:49 > 0:18:51Rob, can I ask...
0:18:51 > 0:18:53what is the point of this exercise?
0:18:53 > 0:18:55- LAUGHTER - To see if I'm lying!- Well, if...
0:18:55 > 0:18:58No, because obviously... you're clearly going to be capable
0:18:58 > 0:19:00of going, "Oh, no. I don't want a fizzy drink."
0:19:00 > 0:19:03You're not going to be such a fizzy drink addict
0:19:03 > 0:19:05that you can't stop yourself from going,
0:19:05 > 0:19:06- "Oh, yes, I do love it!" - LAUGHTER
0:19:06 > 0:19:08"I do love it. Absolutely!"
0:19:08 > 0:19:09"Yes, it was a lie and I'd do it again!"
0:19:09 > 0:19:11LAUGHTER
0:19:11 > 0:19:14Because, if she is telling the truth, what a lovely opportunity.
0:19:14 > 0:19:17How often have you seen a grown woman
0:19:17 > 0:19:21taking her first sips of a sugary carbonated drink?
0:19:21 > 0:19:22LAUGHTER
0:19:22 > 0:19:25- The best thing this can be is cruel. - LAUGHTER
0:19:25 > 0:19:28Right, OK. Which one are you going for?
0:19:28 > 0:19:29That one.
0:19:29 > 0:19:31- Don't... I don't want... - So, we can lose these two?
0:19:31 > 0:19:33- Let's bring it here. - You haven't sha...
0:19:33 > 0:19:34I haven't... Shut your face.
0:19:34 > 0:19:37You've made the most light entertainment bit I've ever seen!
0:19:37 > 0:19:39"Lose them two. Those are safe.
0:19:39 > 0:19:40"That's your bus fare home".
0:19:40 > 0:19:42LAUGHTER "They're fine.
0:19:42 > 0:19:44"You're just playing now for the red can, love.
0:19:44 > 0:19:45"Just the red can!" APPLAUSE
0:19:45 > 0:19:48Where have you come from tonight, Tracy-Ann?
0:19:48 > 0:19:49LAUGHTER
0:19:49 > 0:19:51Do you want to give a wave to everybody back home there?
0:19:51 > 0:19:53LAUGHTER She's gone for the red can.
0:19:53 > 0:19:57So, this may or may not be Tracy-Ann's first time
0:19:57 > 0:20:00- drinking a sugary carbonated drink. - Oh, God!- Go on, Tracey.
0:20:00 > 0:20:02Don't drink it if you don't want to!
0:20:02 > 0:20:03- Yeah.- You've made your point!
0:20:03 > 0:20:05- Have I? Have I? - You don't have to!
0:20:05 > 0:20:06CAN CLICKS AND FIZZES
0:20:06 > 0:20:09- LAUGHTER - I'm getting better at the opening.
0:20:09 > 0:20:10No. It's...it's wrong.
0:20:10 > 0:20:12- Can you not even sip it?- No. - I think that's...
0:20:12 > 0:20:15So, you're definitively saying that you are not going to drink it?
0:20:15 > 0:20:17- GASPING - She's drinking it.- Ooh!
0:20:18 > 0:20:20Oh, my God! It's everything I thought it was going to be!
0:20:20 > 0:20:21- It's disgusting! - LAUGHTER
0:20:21 > 0:20:23Ooh, get used that phrase, Rob.
0:20:23 > 0:20:25LAUGHTER
0:20:25 > 0:20:26APPLAUSE
0:20:26 > 0:20:27Horrible!
0:20:27 > 0:20:28LAUGHTER
0:20:32 > 0:20:34All right. There we are.
0:20:34 > 0:20:35So, what are you going to say?
0:20:35 > 0:20:37Was she acting?
0:20:37 > 0:20:39- I think you are brilliant. - She's been in EastEnders.
0:20:39 > 0:20:41Would she be that good an actress
0:20:41 > 0:20:43to convince you? LAUGHTER
0:20:43 > 0:20:45I instinctively... I liked the...
0:20:45 > 0:20:46- The shining cans were great. - Yes, yes.
0:20:46 > 0:20:48You know, the different colours.
0:20:48 > 0:20:50- I think it's a great addition to the format.- Yes.
0:20:50 > 0:20:51LAUGHTER
0:20:51 > 0:20:53I think we think it's a lie.
0:20:53 > 0:20:55OK. Tracy-Ann...
0:20:55 > 0:20:57truth or lie?
0:20:57 > 0:20:59- It's the truth.- Ah!- No!
0:20:59 > 0:21:01APPLAUSE DROWNS SPEECH
0:21:03 > 0:21:04Hugh, you're up next.
0:21:04 > 0:21:06As a child,
0:21:06 > 0:21:08my family weren't able to have a dog.
0:21:08 > 0:21:10So, instead, we got a cat
0:21:10 > 0:21:12and treated it like a dog.
0:21:12 > 0:21:13LAUGHTER
0:21:13 > 0:21:15David's team?
0:21:15 > 0:21:16When you say "weren't able to have a dog",
0:21:16 > 0:21:18was there a medical reason for it?
0:21:18 > 0:21:20LAUGHTER
0:21:20 > 0:21:22No. It was...
0:21:22 > 0:21:24Essentially, there was nowhere
0:21:24 > 0:21:27to exercise a dog, where we lived.
0:21:27 > 0:21:30So my parents decided that it wasn't really fair have a dog.
0:21:30 > 0:21:32- Where did you live? - So, I wasn't able...
0:21:32 > 0:21:35Well, weirdly, it was called the Isle of Dogs.
0:21:35 > 0:21:37LAUGHTER
0:21:37 > 0:21:39What was the cat called?
0:21:39 > 0:21:41The cat was called Kisska.
0:21:41 > 0:21:42- Kisska?- Yeah.
0:21:42 > 0:21:45If anything, it's quite a feline name. Isn't it?
0:21:45 > 0:21:47Well, it was a cat. Of course...
0:21:47 > 0:21:48LAUGHTER DROWNS SPEECH
0:21:48 > 0:21:52How do you treat a cat like a dog?
0:21:52 > 0:21:54You put it on a lead
0:21:54 > 0:21:56- and you take it for walks. - LAUGHTER
0:21:56 > 0:21:58Isn't that exercising the cat?
0:21:58 > 0:22:00That is exercising the cat.
0:22:00 > 0:22:03I thought that was the very reason why you couldn't have a dog.
0:22:03 > 0:22:04LAUGHTER
0:22:04 > 0:22:07That you were unable to exercise it.
0:22:07 > 0:22:08LAUGHTER
0:22:08 > 0:22:12Wherever we went during the day, the cat came with us.
0:22:12 > 0:22:15- On a lead.- Yeah, on a lead, but...but...
0:22:15 > 0:22:17the lead isn't really long enough for a cat,
0:22:17 > 0:22:21so we used to tie a 30-foot washing line...
0:22:21 > 0:22:22LAUGHTER
0:22:22 > 0:22:27..to the lead, and you could walk at least 30 yards.
0:22:27 > 0:22:30And dry your clothes at the same time!
0:22:31 > 0:22:35When you would take this... You'd take the cat out in the car,
0:22:35 > 0:22:36what would be the arrangement in the car,
0:22:36 > 0:22:38if you were going on a journey?
0:22:38 > 0:22:41Well, my dad built the cat a shelf,
0:22:41 > 0:22:42which went...
0:22:44 > 0:22:48..from the dashboard of the passenger seat...
0:22:48 > 0:22:52- And slotted in...- Can I just say...?
0:22:52 > 0:22:54..slotted into the metal of the headrest.
0:22:54 > 0:22:57..if this turns out to be a lie and they get it right
0:22:57 > 0:23:00that it's a lie, you have made life extremely hard for yourself.
0:23:02 > 0:23:05Why couldn't the cat just be the on the seat?
0:23:05 > 0:23:07Why does the cat need a shelf?
0:23:07 > 0:23:09Cos the cat couldn't see if it was on the seat.
0:23:10 > 0:23:12So what are you thinking, David's team?
0:23:12 > 0:23:16The thing that I find very believable, cos I don't think Hugh
0:23:16 > 0:23:18would have invented it, is the shelf.
0:23:20 > 0:23:23It's not actually treating a cat like a dog or like a cat
0:23:23 > 0:23:25but just like, I don't know, like a book.
0:23:27 > 0:23:29Or like a catalogue.
0:23:34 > 0:23:37- What are you going to say? - Do you think a lie?- I think a lie.
0:23:37 > 0:23:39- I think a lie.- A lie? Well, we'll say it's a lie.
0:23:39 > 0:23:41You're going to say it's a lie, OK.
0:23:41 > 0:23:44Hugh Dennis, is it true or is it a lie?
0:23:44 > 0:23:46It is in fact...
0:23:46 > 0:23:48- true.- Ah!
0:23:52 > 0:23:53Nick, you're next.
0:23:55 > 0:23:59I'm the BBC Newsroom's rock, paper, scissors champion.
0:23:59 > 0:24:02Having recently stolen the crown from George Alagiah.
0:24:04 > 0:24:06- Oh, Lee's team.- How often is the championship?
0:24:06 > 0:24:09Quite often at the end of a news bulletin, people are there.
0:24:09 > 0:24:13There's a championship at the end of every news bulletin?
0:24:13 > 0:24:16Not everyone but, you know, if it's not been a particularly stressful day.
0:24:16 > 0:24:17How often would you say that you've had
0:24:17 > 0:24:20a championship at this in your office?
0:24:20 > 0:24:22Not every day is the championship
0:24:22 > 0:24:23but there might be a particular contest.
0:24:23 > 0:24:26I'll ask you one more time, Nick, and then...
0:24:26 > 0:24:29You know how frustrated you get when you are interviewing a politician?
0:24:29 > 0:24:30I'll put it to you.
0:24:30 > 0:24:33How often is what you would call the championship?
0:24:33 > 0:24:36I think it's more random than it is regular.
0:24:36 > 0:24:38See, I was often at Downing Street doing broadcasting...
0:24:38 > 0:24:41Is there a delay between when I'm speaking
0:24:41 > 0:24:43and to what your ears are perceiving?
0:24:43 > 0:24:46Cos I want to know, an average, per year,
0:24:46 > 0:24:48how many times you would have what they call a championship.
0:24:48 > 0:24:50And, trust me, I will not stop asking this question.
0:24:51 > 0:24:55- I am persistent. - Around about 20 a year.- 20 a year.
0:24:55 > 0:24:57So you are the current champion.
0:24:57 > 0:24:59Who was the one that you took over from?
0:24:59 > 0:25:00- George Alagiah.- George Alagiah.
0:25:00 > 0:25:02Who was the previous champion before George?
0:25:02 > 0:25:05- Huw Edwards.- And before him?
0:25:05 > 0:25:07- Fiona Bruce.- All right, let me rephrase the question.
0:25:07 > 0:25:10Can you just randomly list newsreaders?
0:25:14 > 0:25:17Because I can't help thinking that's what's going on here.
0:25:17 > 0:25:19There's another easy way.
0:25:19 > 0:25:20Why don't you nominate, Lee,
0:25:20 > 0:25:24someone in your team to represent your team in rock, paper, scissors?
0:25:24 > 0:25:27So you want to prove he's telling the truth, we're going to give him
0:25:27 > 0:25:29a chance to have a 50-50 chance of getting...
0:25:29 > 0:25:30It's not 50-50, is it?
0:25:30 > 0:25:32If you went up against Derren Brown,
0:25:32 > 0:25:35I reckon he'd probably win 100% of the time.
0:25:35 > 0:25:36Do you know what? Weirdly,
0:25:36 > 0:25:38I'm joking but there is actually, and this is true...
0:25:38 > 0:25:41I know there is, so why don't you try this technique now, you idiot?
0:25:41 > 0:25:43- OK.- That's what I'm trying to get you to do.
0:25:43 > 0:25:44Oh, I see.
0:25:44 > 0:25:48So we'll play now, then, between... It'll be you representing you.
0:25:48 > 0:25:50- Right, can I just...? - You've got to work out
0:25:50 > 0:25:53at what point you're going to show your paper or your...
0:25:53 > 0:25:54Because something to do with,
0:25:54 > 0:25:57on the third, or they do one, two, three, and then do it.
0:25:57 > 0:25:59Thank you, Sarah.
0:25:59 > 0:26:01This show does have a host.
0:26:04 > 0:26:06I can guarantee that I'll win over best of three.
0:26:06 > 0:26:09What we're going to do is I'm going to say something to you
0:26:09 > 0:26:10and then you can't pause,
0:26:10 > 0:26:13- you've just got to do it.- OK. - So, are you ready?
0:26:13 > 0:26:15Right, can I genuinely say I think you're a terrible broadcaster.
0:26:15 > 0:26:17Here we go.
0:26:17 > 0:26:20One, two, three, boom.
0:26:20 > 0:26:23- Oh! Rock beats scissors. He's beaten you.- Oh.- Good, good.
0:26:23 > 0:26:25- One-nil.- Don't let him get to you.
0:26:28 > 0:26:29Are you ready for the second one?
0:26:29 > 0:26:33And can I also say, genuinely, that your glasses are awful.
0:26:33 > 0:26:36One, two, three, boom.
0:26:36 > 0:26:39- Oh, paper beats rock.- Yes!
0:26:41 > 0:26:45So we've reached possibly the most tense moment of this competition.
0:26:46 > 0:26:50It's a decider. Lee, do you want to try some subterfuge?
0:26:50 > 0:26:52Backstage, you're a bit smelly.
0:26:53 > 0:26:56One, two, three, boom.
0:26:56 > 0:26:58ALL: Oh!
0:26:58 > 0:27:00We've got to try again. We've got to go again.
0:27:00 > 0:27:03I'm running out of insults and I don't want to say bald.
0:27:05 > 0:27:06But you've left me no option.
0:27:06 > 0:27:08I didn't know it was going to go to a penalty shootout.
0:27:08 > 0:27:09Here we go.
0:27:09 > 0:27:12Can you imagine if this gives me the draw by number 27?
0:27:12 > 0:27:13"I've had your wife!"
0:27:16 > 0:27:18- Here we go. - She still remembers?
0:27:20 > 0:27:23One, two, three, boom.
0:27:23 > 0:27:29Yeah! Oh, my word. Come on. That will do, that will do.
0:27:29 > 0:27:30The theory still holds.
0:27:30 > 0:27:32Cos it would have to be over a longer period of time.
0:27:32 > 0:27:35There has been some scientific evidence to prove that
0:27:35 > 0:27:38if you insult somebody directly before rock, paper, scissors,
0:27:38 > 0:27:40they are slightly more likely to use scissors.
0:27:40 > 0:27:43You're saying somebody got a grant to do research on that.
0:27:45 > 0:27:49- Well, Nick is obviously very good at it. He's beaten you.- Yes.
0:27:49 > 0:27:50Is he the Newsroom champion?
0:27:50 > 0:27:53- OK, we'll say it's a lie.- OK.
0:27:53 > 0:27:55Nick, truth or lie?
0:27:55 > 0:27:58It is a lie.
0:27:58 > 0:28:00Nice work, team. Nice work.
0:28:02 > 0:28:04Well, that's all we've time for
0:28:04 > 0:28:06on this special edition of Would I Lie To You?
0:28:06 > 0:28:07Thanks for watching. Goodnight.