0:00:23 > 0:00:27Good evening and welcome to Would I Lie To You?, the show that separates
0:00:27 > 0:00:29the truth from the twaddle.
0:00:29 > 0:00:31On David Mitchell's team tonight,
0:00:31 > 0:00:35an EastEnders actor whose character has gone insane, been blackmailed,
0:00:35 > 0:00:39declared bankrupt, made homeless, held hostage, been jilted and shot.
0:00:39 > 0:00:41He might want to think about moving!
0:00:41 > 0:00:43It's Adam Woodyatt!
0:00:46 > 0:00:50And a BAFTA award winner who started out in EastEnders
0:00:50 > 0:00:52but left to pursue a career in acting.
0:00:52 > 0:00:54It's Jason Watkins!
0:00:57 > 0:00:58And on Lee Mack's team tonight,
0:00:58 > 0:01:02a space scientist and astronomer who once presented a documentary
0:01:02 > 0:01:04called Do We Really Need The Moon?
0:01:04 > 0:01:07Of course we do. Where else would we get all our cheese from?
0:01:07 > 0:01:09It's Dr Maggie Aderin-Pocock!
0:01:12 > 0:01:16And a comedian who when he was five wanted to be a clown.
0:01:16 > 0:01:19Well, I can tell you those are pretty big shoes to fill.
0:01:19 > 0:01:21It's Phil Wang!
0:01:24 > 0:01:27So, we begin with Round 1 - Home Truths,
0:01:27 > 0:01:29where our panellists each read out a statement
0:01:29 > 0:01:30from the card in front of them.
0:01:30 > 0:01:33To make things harder, they've never seen the card before,
0:01:33 > 0:01:34they've no idea what they'll be faced with.
0:01:34 > 0:01:38It's up to the opposing team to sort the fact from the fiction.
0:01:38 > 0:01:40Jason is first up tonight.
0:01:42 > 0:01:46Once a week, I go for a walk on my hands.
0:01:47 > 0:01:48Lee's team.
0:01:48 > 0:01:50Right. Why?
0:01:52 > 0:01:55Because I've always been able to do it.
0:01:55 > 0:01:59- How far can you go?- I don't know, well, I once went about...
0:02:03 > 0:02:08- ..60 yards.- So once a week you do, what's an average?
0:02:08 > 0:02:09Oh, I don't do that every week.
0:02:09 > 0:02:12I do a little walk around the room every week.
0:02:12 > 0:02:16Please don't take this the wrong way but you don't look like an athlete.
0:02:16 > 0:02:18That's kind of you. That's very, very kind of you.
0:02:18 > 0:02:20What does an athlete look like? I mean...
0:02:20 > 0:02:23Not like you.
0:02:23 > 0:02:26Well, in fact none of you, let's be honest.
0:02:26 > 0:02:28So you have this ability.
0:02:28 > 0:02:31Is this something that you do publicly or privately?
0:02:31 > 0:02:34I do it... I did it at my wedding.
0:02:34 > 0:02:36What, you walked down the aisle?
0:02:38 > 0:02:42Afterwards at the reception, I walked to the side of the stage
0:02:42 > 0:02:47and my son put a rose in my toe and I walked back and gave it to her.
0:02:47 > 0:02:49I'm glad it was your toe.
0:02:51 > 0:02:53Well, what are you thinking about this?
0:02:53 > 0:02:55Listen, I've not read this card out
0:02:55 > 0:02:58but I could walk on my hands if I had to under pressure.
0:02:58 > 0:02:59No, you couldn't.
0:03:02 > 0:03:03CHEERING
0:03:06 > 0:03:08Is there a paramedic?
0:03:08 > 0:03:11- Here we go.- You won't be able to do this.
0:03:12 > 0:03:14If you have not done this before...
0:03:14 > 0:03:16I genuinely have never tried to walk on my hands.
0:03:16 > 0:03:19There's no way you can do this first go.
0:03:21 > 0:03:26- No.- Wait, wait, wait.- It's not good enough.- I haven't... Shut up!
0:03:29 > 0:03:34- No! No.- Fair dos, it's not as easy as it looks.
0:03:34 > 0:03:35APPLAUSE
0:03:41 > 0:03:45So, what are you going to say then, in light of your pathetic attempt?
0:03:45 > 0:03:48Lee has now given me the capacity to believe
0:03:48 > 0:03:52- so I'm going to say, yes, true. - Sorry, Lee doing THAT...
0:03:52 > 0:03:56- Yes.- You thought Lee's on the verge of getting the hang of it?
0:03:56 > 0:03:57I thought I have to change something...
0:03:57 > 0:03:59It was closer than you thought, wasn't it?
0:03:59 > 0:04:01There was a moment when everyone thought,
0:04:01 > 0:04:03- he might be able to do this. - No, there was no moment.
0:04:03 > 0:04:05- There was no moment. - There was a moment when I thought
0:04:05 > 0:04:07you were going to kick that gentleman in the face!
0:04:07 > 0:04:10- What do we think, Maggie? - I think it's true.
0:04:10 > 0:04:14- I'll go true as well but he'd better do a demonstration.- All right then.
0:04:14 > 0:04:15- Jason.- Yes?
0:04:15 > 0:04:19You walk on your hands once a week. Truth or lie?
0:04:19 > 0:04:21Well, it's actually...
0:04:21 > 0:04:23true.
0:04:23 > 0:04:25- APPLAUSE - There you go.
0:04:27 > 0:04:32And now of course, we have the delightful prospect. Would you?
0:04:32 > 0:04:34CHEERING
0:04:34 > 0:04:36- Where are you going to do it?- There.
0:04:55 > 0:04:58I see you copied my technique there.
0:05:00 > 0:05:02Maggie, you're next.
0:05:02 > 0:05:05- Possession.- Ah. There's a box under the desk.
0:05:05 > 0:05:09Would you first of all read out the card that's inside the box
0:05:09 > 0:05:12and then when you've done that, place the object on the desk?
0:05:12 > 0:05:15This is a piece of rock taken from the surface of the moon
0:05:15 > 0:05:17and given to me by Buzz Aldrin.
0:05:17 > 0:05:21I'm currently using it to wedge my kitchen door open.
0:05:21 > 0:05:24All right. David's team.
0:05:24 > 0:05:27I mean obviously this is an odd use of the word "currently."
0:05:27 > 0:05:29I mean...
0:05:32 > 0:05:34Can I just ask how heavy is that piece of rock?
0:05:34 > 0:05:36Would you like to feel it?
0:05:36 > 0:05:39If Buzz Aldrin's got it from the moon, love to, yeah.
0:05:43 > 0:05:46Does that strike you as moon rock?
0:05:46 > 0:05:48- Has it got a little shine to it? - It does, maybe it's...- Yes.
0:05:48 > 0:05:50- LEE:- Can I just say, you three are looking at that
0:05:50 > 0:05:53like you know what proper moon rock would look like.
0:05:53 > 0:05:56When in fact I can't help thinking you don't know anyway, do you?
0:05:56 > 0:05:57- I've seen moon rock.- Have you?
0:05:57 > 0:06:00Admittedly from a very, very great distance.
0:06:00 > 0:06:02It looks just the same.
0:06:05 > 0:06:08Thank you very much.
0:06:08 > 0:06:11Has it got sort of some technical scientific name
0:06:11 > 0:06:14for the type of rock it is other than moon rock?
0:06:14 > 0:06:17Well, actually, because the moon is covered in all sorts of chemicals,
0:06:17 > 0:06:19which actually come from the birth of the solar system,
0:06:19 > 0:06:22so as things sort of coalesced and formed,
0:06:22 > 0:06:25this is actually sort of a throwback to the birth of the solar system.
0:06:25 > 0:06:28And how did Buzz Aldrin come to give it to you?
0:06:28 > 0:06:31Well, in my capacity at Sky At Night,
0:06:31 > 0:06:32I meet all sorts of characters.
0:06:33 > 0:06:35LAUGHTER
0:06:36 > 0:06:39I'm aware that Buzz Aldrin went to the moon.
0:06:39 > 0:06:41- Yes.- I'm quite knowledgeable.
0:06:43 > 0:06:46How much of that stuff did he bring back with him?
0:06:46 > 0:06:51He's got a chunk like that still to give out, you know, decades later.
0:06:51 > 0:06:55Does he turn up to every engagement with a rucksack?
0:06:55 > 0:06:58"Here you go, here you go..."
0:06:58 > 0:07:01I mean, I think I'd be giving out little pebbles at most.
0:07:01 > 0:07:03I think they famously don't have pebbles on the moon.
0:07:03 > 0:07:05No, but you can break it up, can't you?
0:07:05 > 0:07:08- Not into pebbles.- I mean, you must be able to break it up but otherwise
0:07:08 > 0:07:11the only bit of moon rock you could bring back would be the whole moon!
0:07:13 > 0:07:16I'm not sure you could fashion it into the shape of a pebble.
0:07:17 > 0:07:19When was this?
0:07:19 > 0:07:22Oh, so probably about six or seven years ago.
0:07:22 > 0:07:25You met him to interview him about, you know...
0:07:25 > 0:07:27Going to the moon, mainly.
0:07:27 > 0:07:29And he said, and at the end of the interview,
0:07:29 > 0:07:33said, "It's been nice meeting you, here's a bit of the moon," or...?
0:07:33 > 0:07:35Well, actually, I've always been fascinated by the moon
0:07:35 > 0:07:38and so we had this conversation and we were talking about the moon
0:07:38 > 0:07:41and the effects it has on people and he said well, you know,
0:07:41 > 0:07:44here's a bit of the moon for you to keep for your very own.
0:07:44 > 0:07:46- And so he gave me some. - You know before he gave it to you,
0:07:46 > 0:07:48he didn't pop outside, did he, for a minute?
0:07:48 > 0:07:50Root around the garden!
0:07:50 > 0:07:55You didn't see him foraging around the bins by any chance did you?
0:07:55 > 0:07:57OK, so, what do you think, Adam?
0:07:57 > 0:07:59Is it adding up for you?
0:07:59 > 0:08:01No, it's going to be in museums.
0:08:01 > 0:08:07I once went to the Vatican City and the lump of moon rock that NASA gave
0:08:07 > 0:08:13to the Vatican State is on display there and it's about that big
0:08:13 > 0:08:18and I doubt that Buzz Aldrin would have given you a moon rock,
0:08:18 > 0:08:22you know, about 100 times the size of the rock
0:08:22 > 0:08:26that the United States of America gave to a sovereign state.
0:08:28 > 0:08:31You know a lot about the moon and a lot about moon rock
0:08:31 > 0:08:34but I don't think that that is a piece of moon rock, that's my hunch.
0:08:34 > 0:08:37So Jason says lie, Adam says lie...
0:08:37 > 0:08:41- I also think it's a lie. Yeah.- Right, Maggie.
0:08:41 > 0:08:43Truth or lie?
0:08:43 > 0:08:44It is actually...
0:08:44 > 0:08:45a lie.
0:08:45 > 0:08:47APPLAUSE
0:08:49 > 0:08:51Yes, it's a lie.
0:08:51 > 0:08:55Maggie doesn't use a piece of moon rock to wedge her kitchen door open.
0:08:55 > 0:08:58Adam, you're next.
0:08:58 > 0:09:02I now practice mindfulness and for ten minutes every day
0:09:02 > 0:09:04I empty my mind of all other thoughts
0:09:04 > 0:09:08and I do nothing but stare at a carrot.
0:09:08 > 0:09:10Lee's team.
0:09:13 > 0:09:15LAUGHTER
0:09:15 > 0:09:17Everything up until the last word...
0:09:19 > 0:09:20Why would you look at a carrot?
0:09:21 > 0:09:25I would show you the picture but this goes out before the watershed.
0:09:25 > 0:09:29It's a particular shape of carrot and it just distracts me.
0:09:29 > 0:09:33What does it...? Well, you can describe the shape, can't you?
0:09:33 > 0:09:37- Yes.- Is it part of the anatomy?
0:09:37 > 0:09:40- Yes, that would be correct. - The male anatomy?- Yes, it would.
0:09:40 > 0:09:42And you find that relaxing to look at?
0:09:42 > 0:09:44LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:09:46 > 0:09:48I'm comfortable with that, that's fine.
0:09:48 > 0:09:52It just takes my mind off of things and I relax.
0:09:52 > 0:09:55Can I say, a carrot doesn't last forever.
0:09:55 > 0:09:58Once the carrot rots, do you use a different carrot?
0:09:58 > 0:10:00No, it's pickled.
0:10:01 > 0:10:05- It's in a jar?- Yeah. - Where did you get it from?
0:10:05 > 0:10:07Did Buzz Aldrin give it to you?
0:10:09 > 0:10:11A couple of years ago, my wife started...
0:10:11 > 0:10:13She got a greenhouse and she started growing veg
0:10:13 > 0:10:17and it was around the same time I started doing this mindfulness
0:10:17 > 0:10:21and I found it was sufficient to distract me from anything else
0:10:21 > 0:10:23I was thinking about because I just look at it,
0:10:23 > 0:10:24start laughing and forget.
0:10:24 > 0:10:26So you thought this was so amusing to look at,
0:10:26 > 0:10:28- you were willing to commit it to pickle?- Yeah.
0:10:28 > 0:10:30So this joke would last forever?
0:10:30 > 0:10:32HE GIGGLES
0:10:32 > 0:10:33I don't think it's a joke.
0:10:35 > 0:10:37But you found it amusing?
0:10:37 > 0:10:38Yeah, it's amusing but it's...
0:10:38 > 0:10:41- But through the amusing-ness comes the inner peace.- Yeah.
0:10:41 > 0:10:42So you're looking at...
0:10:42 > 0:10:45That's why so many people fall asleep watching your DVDs.
0:10:45 > 0:10:47LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:10:50 > 0:10:53What do you think, Phil? Is this adding up for you?
0:10:53 > 0:10:55I practice mindfulness myself
0:10:55 > 0:11:00and so I know you actually use parsnips not carrots.
0:11:01 > 0:11:04- It smells a bit off to me.- Maggie?
0:11:04 > 0:11:07Also I think you need to get into sort of a mind state
0:11:07 > 0:11:12and I think laughing at a pickled carrot just isn't going to do it.
0:11:12 > 0:11:14So, what are we going to say? Truth or lie?
0:11:14 > 0:11:15It's got to be a lie, hasn't it?
0:11:15 > 0:11:18It's got to be a lie. Surely it's a lie. Adam, truth or lie?
0:11:18 > 0:11:20It is in fact...
0:11:20 > 0:11:21a lie.
0:11:21 > 0:11:23APPLAUSE
0:11:26 > 0:11:28Our next round is called This Is My...
0:11:28 > 0:11:29where we bring on a mystery guest
0:11:29 > 0:11:32who has a close connection to one of our panellists.
0:11:32 > 0:11:35This week, each of David's team will claim it's them that has
0:11:35 > 0:11:38the genuine connection to the guest and it's up to Lee's team to spot
0:11:38 > 0:11:40who's telling the truth.
0:11:40 > 0:11:43So, please welcome this week's special guest, Matt.
0:11:43 > 0:11:46APPLAUSE
0:11:49 > 0:11:53So, Adam, what is Matt to you?
0:11:53 > 0:11:56This is Matt. He was my window cleaner
0:11:56 > 0:12:01but I had to let him go when I found out he was afraid of ladders.
0:12:01 > 0:12:03Jason, how do you know Matt?
0:12:03 > 0:12:07This is my estate agent Matt and we once were meant
0:12:07 > 0:12:11to look at a property but instead we watched a dog give birth.
0:12:13 > 0:12:16Finally David, what is your relationship with Matt?
0:12:16 > 0:12:20This is my car dealer Matt and I once made him change
0:12:20 > 0:12:26the colour of our car twice because I was offended by its hue.
0:12:27 > 0:12:28So there we have it.
0:12:28 > 0:12:30Lee's team, where to begin?
0:12:30 > 0:12:32- Jason.- Yes?
0:12:32 > 0:12:36You were looking round a house at the time, were you, to possibly buy?
0:12:36 > 0:12:38I was about to, yeah.
0:12:38 > 0:12:41We were going to look at a property and as we approached that,
0:12:41 > 0:12:43someone came out of a neighbouring property and said,
0:12:43 > 0:12:47you know, "My dog's in distress, can you come and help?"
0:12:47 > 0:12:50- So we did.- What assistance did you think you could give?
0:12:50 > 0:12:53Well, we did a bit of looking on the phones
0:12:53 > 0:12:56- and working out what we should do. - You were googling it?
0:12:56 > 0:13:00- Yeah.- That is always a worrying sign for a midwife.
0:13:01 > 0:13:03When she called you in, then,
0:13:03 > 0:13:06she didn't know that the dog was about to give birth?
0:13:06 > 0:13:08No, she didn't know that the dog was pregnant.
0:13:08 > 0:13:10Wow. What did she think was wrong with it?
0:13:10 > 0:13:11I don't know, that it was sort of,
0:13:11 > 0:13:14that the stomach was sort of distended or something.
0:13:14 > 0:13:16Yes. Yeah...
0:13:16 > 0:13:18Was she the brightest of people?
0:13:18 > 0:13:20LAUGHTER
0:13:20 > 0:13:22Did you then go on and buy that property?
0:13:22 > 0:13:25No, because it had a rifle range next to it so I didn't bother.
0:13:25 > 0:13:30There was a rifle range next to this house and he hadn't mentioned that?
0:13:30 > 0:13:34If this is true, he's a typical shifty estate agent.
0:13:35 > 0:13:38And you see, he didn't even smile or bat an eyelid then,
0:13:38 > 0:13:41which means he's used to hearing it, he's an estate agent.
0:13:42 > 0:13:44What was the dog's name, do you remember?
0:13:44 > 0:13:45- Penny.- Penny?
0:13:45 > 0:13:47Ah, the penny dropped.
0:13:47 > 0:13:49LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:13:54 > 0:13:56But what about Adam?
0:13:56 > 0:13:58Adam, he was your window cleaner but you had to get rid of him
0:13:58 > 0:14:01- because he admitted to being...? - Scared of ladders.
0:14:01 > 0:14:03So, how long had he been your window cleaner for?
0:14:03 > 0:14:07- About two years.- And why hadn't it caused problems up to that point?
0:14:07 > 0:14:10He was working with a partner, there was another window cleaner.
0:14:10 > 0:14:11Oh, he used to do the ground-floor
0:14:11 > 0:14:13and the other fella used to do the top floor?
0:14:13 > 0:14:15- Yeah.- Oh, come on, really?
0:14:15 > 0:14:19We just, we genuinely didn't realise until all of a sudden his partner,
0:14:19 > 0:14:21who was called Matt.
0:14:21 > 0:14:22Oh, he was called Matt as well?
0:14:22 > 0:14:24He was called Matt as well so Matt and Matt Matt.
0:14:24 > 0:14:27The other one was called Matt Matt and he was called Matt?
0:14:27 > 0:14:29No, no, the other one was called Matt...
0:14:29 > 0:14:31- Matt and Matt Matt? - No, they were both called Matt,
0:14:31 > 0:14:35so that we could distinguish between Matt and Matt,
0:14:35 > 0:14:38we called one Matt and the other one Matt Matt.
0:14:38 > 0:14:40But that...
0:14:40 > 0:14:44But for the first half of the second name, they're both looking.
0:14:44 > 0:14:46Matt, Matt, oh.
0:14:47 > 0:14:49Matt, Matt, oh, it's not me.
0:14:49 > 0:14:51Wouldn't you be better off calling him Matt
0:14:51 > 0:14:54and not-Matt because then you've got a different word at the beginning.
0:14:54 > 0:14:56Matt and not-Matt would have been a much better system.
0:14:56 > 0:14:58- PHIL:- Or maybe Matthew?
0:14:58 > 0:15:03- Yes.- Still a problem with the M-A, though. Maaa-atthew.
0:15:03 > 0:15:06It is such a huge waste of time though,
0:15:06 > 0:15:08that millisecond of confusion?
0:15:08 > 0:15:10I mean, do you think everyone's name
0:15:10 > 0:15:12should start with a different letter?
0:15:12 > 0:15:15- I'd much prefer that.- Billions of letters so that you don't have that
0:15:15 > 0:15:19millisecond of, "Ooh, my name begins with D! Oh, no, it's not David,
0:15:19 > 0:15:22"it's Daniel, I've wasted a part of my life."
0:15:22 > 0:15:23I would prefer that.
0:15:27 > 0:15:30So, you'd never noticed that he was always on the ground floor?
0:15:30 > 0:15:32No, because I was at work.
0:15:32 > 0:15:33Why, what do you do?
0:15:33 > 0:15:36LAUGHTER
0:15:36 > 0:15:40How did you discover that Matt was afraid of ladders?
0:15:40 > 0:15:41The specific moment.
0:15:41 > 0:15:43Because the upstairs wasn't getting...
0:15:43 > 0:15:45- You examined him internally? - Oh, hang on.
0:15:48 > 0:15:52That's a very strange way of doing it.
0:15:52 > 0:15:54I sense fear in you!
0:15:57 > 0:16:00I don't think you'll be cleaning my windows for much longer.
0:16:01 > 0:16:05No wonder he's frightened to go up a ladder!
0:16:05 > 0:16:08I bet the coming down bit was more scary.
0:16:08 > 0:16:10"I'm here! I'm waiting!"
0:16:12 > 0:16:15I have to say, it's a miracle you could find anyone
0:16:15 > 0:16:18to come near your windows.
0:16:18 > 0:16:20Did you say, "Look, we're going to have to get rid of you,"
0:16:20 > 0:16:23or did he then say, "Look, I can't do this any more"?
0:16:23 > 0:16:24Obviously, you can't have a window cleaner
0:16:24 > 0:16:27who can't go up a ladder to clean your windows.
0:16:27 > 0:16:29You say like that we're the idiots, you had one, not us.
0:16:29 > 0:16:31LAUGHTER
0:16:32 > 0:16:35No, he knocked it on the head. He's no longer a window cleaner.
0:16:35 > 0:16:37Right, so, you had to sack him, basically?
0:16:37 > 0:16:40I kind of ducked out of the conversation and left it to my wife.
0:16:40 > 0:16:44- Right.- He came back round to do the windows and she confronted him about
0:16:44 > 0:16:47the lack of attention upstairs.
0:16:47 > 0:16:49- LAUGHTER - And did he 'fess up, did he go...?
0:16:56 > 0:16:59All right, so, what about David?
0:16:59 > 0:17:01Ah yes, you didn't like, you didn't like your...
0:17:01 > 0:17:04- Read it again. - This is my car dealer Matt.
0:17:04 > 0:17:07I made him change the colour of our car twice
0:17:07 > 0:17:12- because I was offended by its hue. - So, three times in total.
0:17:12 > 0:17:14Yes, it's been three colours.
0:17:14 > 0:17:16Yeah, what was the first colour? What did you buy it as?
0:17:16 > 0:17:19- What colour?- Grey. - What was the model?
0:17:19 > 0:17:22It's a BMW and it's...
0:17:22 > 0:17:24Er...
0:17:24 > 0:17:26I can't quite remember the...
0:17:26 > 0:17:30- I think it's an...- It never ceases to amaze me how cruel it was
0:17:30 > 0:17:33that you were overlooked for the Top Gear job.
0:17:34 > 0:17:38No, well I, you know, they kept... They wanted me to learn to drive.
0:17:39 > 0:17:41I've never driven this car.
0:17:41 > 0:17:43I've only sat in it.
0:17:43 > 0:17:45Are you telling us or the police?
0:17:47 > 0:17:49Because that sounded like an alibi to me. "I have never!
0:17:49 > 0:17:53"And neither have I ever put a dead body in the boot."
0:17:54 > 0:17:56So then, did you...? When you bought the grey car,
0:17:56 > 0:17:58did you want it in grey at that time,
0:17:58 > 0:18:00or was there always an immediate...
0:18:00 > 0:18:02Was there an immediate, "We want it but we want to re-sprayed"?
0:18:02 > 0:18:06It was an immediate "We want it and we want it a different colour,"
0:18:06 > 0:18:12and then we were advised not to get it re-sprayed but to get it wrapped.
0:18:12 > 0:18:15- What does that mean? - It's a thing you can do to a car
0:18:15 > 0:18:20to change its colour other than re-spraying it.
0:18:20 > 0:18:23I think it's called a vinyl wrap.
0:18:23 > 0:18:27Are you getting mixed up with some sort of album from the 1980s?
0:18:27 > 0:18:29That's for you to judge.
0:18:29 > 0:18:31What was your vinyl wrap colour?
0:18:31 > 0:18:37Well, we wanted it dark green, like British racing green.
0:18:37 > 0:18:39Yeah. Can I ask a question?
0:18:39 > 0:18:42This type of BMW you bought, does it not come in racing green?
0:18:42 > 0:18:47Well, I don't know, but it was hard enough to find
0:18:47 > 0:18:50- that we didn't want to...- They are quite rare aren't they, BMWs?
0:18:50 > 0:18:54- They're very, very rare. - David, you don't drive.- Mh-mm.
0:18:54 > 0:18:55How did you get into the dealership?
0:18:55 > 0:19:01We actually did all of the buying and everything via e-mail
0:19:01 > 0:19:05and the phone, but I will say, my wife can drive.
0:19:05 > 0:19:08Which was very much why we were looking to buy a car.
0:19:10 > 0:19:13You know, if neither of us could drive, it's basically just a very,
0:19:13 > 0:19:15very expensive shed.
0:19:16 > 0:19:18OK, you said racing green,
0:19:18 > 0:19:22then the car arrives or you go to get it and what colour is it?
0:19:22 > 0:19:26More of a felt tip, more of a Kermit green.
0:19:26 > 0:19:28So which colour did you go for next?
0:19:28 > 0:19:30Blue. Dark blue.
0:19:30 > 0:19:33- And how has that panned out for you?- It's nice.
0:19:33 > 0:19:35LAUGHTER
0:19:38 > 0:19:40All right. We need an answer.
0:19:40 > 0:19:44So, Lee's team. Is Matt Adam's worried window washer,
0:19:44 > 0:19:48Jason's puppy pal or David's colourful car dealer?
0:19:48 > 0:19:52I'm feeling Jason because he came up with a couple of really nice details
0:19:52 > 0:19:56very quickly, like the shooting range and Penny.
0:19:56 > 0:19:58What about Adam's?
0:19:58 > 0:19:59He's making life hard for himself.
0:19:59 > 0:20:01If he's making this up and he's decided to call
0:20:01 > 0:20:03both the window cleaners Matt
0:20:03 > 0:20:05and then he has to invent another so he called him Matt Matt.
0:20:05 > 0:20:07How big is your house, Adam?
0:20:07 > 0:20:10Because it doesn't look very big on EastEnders.
0:20:13 > 0:20:14And what about David and his car?
0:20:14 > 0:20:17Now, David and his car's an interesting one
0:20:17 > 0:20:19because I can believe this of David.
0:20:19 > 0:20:23The bit I can most believe is a burly mechanic coming round
0:20:23 > 0:20:24or burly salesman going,
0:20:24 > 0:20:27"I know that's not what you ordered, but you're having it."
0:20:27 > 0:20:29And David going, "OK, thank you."
0:20:31 > 0:20:35That's the bit I most believe. So, what do we think?
0:20:35 > 0:20:37- I'll go for Jason. - You think it's Jason?
0:20:37 > 0:20:40- What are you thinking, Phil? - I'm thinking Jason.
0:20:40 > 0:20:42Oh, you're thinking Jason as well.
0:20:42 > 0:20:44Go on, we'll go with my team then and say Jason.
0:20:44 > 0:20:49OK. Matt, would you please reveal your true identity.
0:20:49 > 0:20:51I'm Matt
0:20:51 > 0:20:53and David made me change the colour of his car twice.
0:20:53 > 0:20:55APPLAUSE
0:20:57 > 0:20:59Thank you very much, Matt.
0:21:02 > 0:21:05Which brings us to our final round, Quickfire Lies.
0:21:05 > 0:21:06And we start with...
0:21:06 > 0:21:09It's Lee.
0:21:09 > 0:21:12On the first day of my holiday I lost my glasses,
0:21:12 > 0:21:14so I was forced to read an entire book
0:21:14 > 0:21:17through a set of binoculars I found in the villa.
0:21:19 > 0:21:24- David's team.- I've been here all day and I haven't seen you wear glasses.
0:21:24 > 0:21:27Well, that's because I wear contact lenses.
0:21:27 > 0:21:30Why didn't you wear contact lenses?
0:21:30 > 0:21:32Because I didn't take them on that particular holiday.
0:21:32 > 0:21:34- What was the book?- The book?
0:21:34 > 0:21:37- Well... - LAUGHTER
0:21:37 > 0:21:38The Kipper.
0:21:38 > 0:21:41- By?- Brian Fish.
0:21:42 > 0:21:44A book called The Kipper by Brian Fish?
0:21:44 > 0:21:46I haven't read it or heard of it.
0:21:46 > 0:21:48What's the genre of this book?
0:21:48 > 0:21:50- It's a thriller.- Right.
0:21:52 > 0:21:54The Kipper was the codename for a spy.
0:21:54 > 0:21:56- Where were you on holiday? - I was actually in Malaysia.
0:21:56 > 0:22:00- What part of Malaysia? - Coconut Island!
0:22:00 > 0:22:01LAUGHTER
0:22:02 > 0:22:03What make were the binoculars?
0:22:03 > 0:22:06I think you'll find I didn't have my glasses, how do I know that?
0:22:06 > 0:22:07APPLAUSE
0:22:09 > 0:22:12I mean, don't get me wrong, I tried to look through my binoculars
0:22:12 > 0:22:15to find out and I even looked into the mirror
0:22:15 > 0:22:17but it just wasn't working out, the whole thing, I was like...
0:22:17 > 0:22:20Because the book had to be a long way away from me.
0:22:21 > 0:22:23Sorry, it had to be a long way away from you?
0:22:23 > 0:22:26Otherwise, it's so close to when you get to the thrilling bits,
0:22:26 > 0:22:28it's too scary.
0:22:28 > 0:22:29"He got killed!"
0:22:29 > 0:22:32- HE SCREAMS - So I have to, it's...
0:22:32 > 0:22:33How did you set it up?
0:22:33 > 0:22:36The book was at the other end of the, we had a little pool
0:22:36 > 0:22:38in the villa, and it was on the other end of the pool
0:22:38 > 0:22:40and I would sit there like that.
0:22:41 > 0:22:42And then...
0:22:42 > 0:22:44How would you turn the pages?
0:22:44 > 0:22:49I'd put it down there and then I'd get up and I'd walk, turn the page,
0:22:49 > 0:22:51crease it and back round again.
0:22:56 > 0:23:00So, you got there and you'd forgotten your glasses?
0:23:00 > 0:23:05- Correct.- How did you manage to get there without realising?
0:23:05 > 0:23:08Because I forgot them. I left them somewhere en route.
0:23:08 > 0:23:10Right. Where?
0:23:10 > 0:23:13I put them down like this in the taxi.
0:23:13 > 0:23:17I stepped out for a second, I was literally rubbing my eyes like that.
0:23:17 > 0:23:19The taxi's gone.
0:23:19 > 0:23:21I know. Unbelievable.
0:23:23 > 0:23:25That's the exact word I was thinking of.
0:23:25 > 0:23:28You hadn't arrived at your destination?
0:23:28 > 0:23:30I took the glasses off for a second, like that.
0:23:30 > 0:23:32- To put them down in the taxi? - But there's a reason I took them,
0:23:32 > 0:23:35- put them down for a second.- Yeah. - They're my proper glasses.
0:23:35 > 0:23:38To put on my sunglasses when I get out the car.
0:23:38 > 0:23:39The sunglasses are prescription.
0:23:39 > 0:23:41- Yeah.- I step out the car, he drives off,
0:23:41 > 0:23:43I've left the glasses in the back,
0:23:43 > 0:23:45I can now see perfectly clearly through the sunglasses.
0:23:45 > 0:23:49I know what you're going to ask me, so I'll just get that point.
0:23:49 > 0:23:52During the holiday, I then lost the sunglasses.
0:23:52 > 0:23:56- Another taxi?- No, I just... I was in the sea.
0:23:56 > 0:23:58You were in the sea and what,
0:23:58 > 0:23:59you put them on a dolphin?
0:24:01 > 0:24:03Well, I didn't know it was a dolphin,
0:24:03 > 0:24:05I thought it was one of those glasses rests.
0:24:07 > 0:24:09No, I just put them down, oh, I didn't put them down,
0:24:09 > 0:24:10I put them on and then I went into the sea,
0:24:10 > 0:24:12had a little swim and then a big wave came
0:24:12 > 0:24:14like that and went, whoosh, like that.
0:24:14 > 0:24:16That's not the bit that knocked my glasses off, though.
0:24:16 > 0:24:19I just stood up and went "Wow, look at that wave!"
0:24:19 > 0:24:21- And then I'd lost them.- Yeah.
0:24:21 > 0:24:23I'm going to have to spend the next whatever it was, two weeks,
0:24:23 > 0:24:25without my sunglasses.
0:24:25 > 0:24:26So, I just stayed...
0:24:26 > 0:24:29Reading a book from one end of a pool to another
0:24:29 > 0:24:31with your binoculars.
0:24:31 > 0:24:34It was awful. Everything was like that, even the foreplay.
0:24:34 > 0:24:36I said, "Go over there so I can have a good look.
0:24:38 > 0:24:41"Yes, very pleasant, thank you," and then I'd walk over.
0:24:42 > 0:24:44And she'd say, "Do I look sexy in this?"
0:24:44 > 0:24:45I think, "Oh, hang on."
0:24:53 > 0:24:56- So, what are you thinking? - I wear glasses.
0:24:56 > 0:24:58You are so protective of your glasses.
0:24:58 > 0:25:01There are various implausible moments in this story.
0:25:01 > 0:25:04I would say the losing of sunglasses in the sea
0:25:04 > 0:25:06is not the most implausible.
0:25:06 > 0:25:09I would say it is the image of Lee sitting at one end
0:25:09 > 0:25:12of a swimming pool with his binoculars and a book
0:25:12 > 0:25:15propped up at the other end of the swimming pool,
0:25:15 > 0:25:19a swimming pool he has to walk round in order to turn the page.
0:25:19 > 0:25:21So, you're saying it's a lie?
0:25:21 > 0:25:22Well, I would say it was a lie.
0:25:22 > 0:25:25I think we're saying lie, I think we're unanimous on that.
0:25:25 > 0:25:29All right. So, Lee, truth or lie?
0:25:29 > 0:25:31It is in fact, where's the button?
0:25:31 > 0:25:33LAUGHTER
0:25:34 > 0:25:36Tell me when I'm close.
0:25:36 > 0:25:38- Yay!- A lie!
0:25:43 > 0:25:44Yes, it's a lie.
0:25:44 > 0:25:46Lee didn't read an entire book through binoculars.
0:25:46 > 0:25:48Next...
0:25:48 > 0:25:50It's David.
0:25:53 > 0:25:55HE CHUCKLES
0:25:55 > 0:25:56Lie by the sounds of it.
0:25:58 > 0:26:01No, no, I'm just chuckling away to myself.
0:26:02 > 0:26:04I can no longer...
0:26:04 > 0:26:08I can no longer drink orange squash...
0:26:08 > 0:26:11I'm telling you, I think I've become hysterical.
0:26:14 > 0:26:16I can no longer drink orange squash
0:26:16 > 0:26:18because it sends me berserk.
0:26:18 > 0:26:20LAUGHTER
0:26:25 > 0:26:29- Lee.- And when did you discover this?
0:26:29 > 0:26:33Oh, I discovered it last summer.
0:26:33 > 0:26:36And what kind of berserk are we talking?
0:26:36 > 0:26:39Really sort of very giggly
0:26:39 > 0:26:40and odd
0:26:40 > 0:26:41and rude.
0:26:41 > 0:26:44Imagine I'm in a garden with you and you've just had
0:26:44 > 0:26:48quite a bit of orange squash and I say, "Hey, how are you doing?"
0:26:48 > 0:26:50- AGGRESSIVELY:- I'm all right, what about you?
0:26:50 > 0:26:51Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
0:26:53 > 0:26:56- Yeah, I'm fine.- And I sort of realise, hang on,
0:26:56 > 0:26:58that was misjudged, I was trying to be friendly
0:26:58 > 0:27:00but I seemed really harsh.
0:27:00 > 0:27:02I haven't seen you for a while, is your wife here?
0:27:02 > 0:27:05- HARSHLY:- I don't know, why don't you look for her?
0:27:05 > 0:27:08SHE'S PROBABLY OUT THERE RE-WRAPPING THE CAR AGAIN!
0:27:08 > 0:27:10Yeah!
0:27:10 > 0:27:13- What was this event? - It was a party of friends,
0:27:13 > 0:27:15in a garden at a friend's house.
0:27:15 > 0:27:18Right, how did people react when you became berserk?
0:27:18 > 0:27:24I think those people were kind but actually it was my wife essentially
0:27:24 > 0:27:26said "You've gone a bit weird
0:27:26 > 0:27:29"and maybe we should go, have a glass of water."
0:27:29 > 0:27:32- You've had too many, love. - So, what are you going to say?
0:27:32 > 0:27:33Is he telling the truth?
0:27:33 > 0:27:35- Maggie, you think it's... - I think it's a lie.
0:27:35 > 0:27:37- You think it's a lie.- Phil?
0:27:37 > 0:27:39- I say it's a lie. - Well, if my team says it's a lie,
0:27:39 > 0:27:41then I will overrule and say it's the truth.
0:27:41 > 0:27:43You think it's the truth?
0:27:43 > 0:27:45I might overrule for once, I never overrule.
0:27:45 > 0:27:47Go on, then. I'm feeling a bit like, do you know why?
0:27:47 > 0:27:49I had a small Sunny Delight before the show
0:27:49 > 0:27:53and I'm feeling a bit like, "Yeah, whatever!"
0:27:53 > 0:27:57David, they're saying it's the truth.
0:27:57 > 0:27:59Is it the truth or is it a lie?
0:27:59 > 0:28:00It is...
0:28:00 > 0:28:01a lie.
0:28:01 > 0:28:03APPLAUSE
0:28:05 > 0:28:07BUZZER And that noise signals time is up.
0:28:07 > 0:28:10It's the end of the show and I can reveal that David's team
0:28:10 > 0:28:12have won by four points to two.
0:28:14 > 0:28:17Thanks for watching, good night.