0:00:16 > 0:00:18APPLAUSE
0:00:24 > 0:00:26Good evening, welcome to Would I Lie To You,
0:00:26 > 0:00:30the show in which it pays to be economical with the truth.
0:00:30 > 0:00:32On Lee Mack's team tonight, an athletic super star,
0:00:32 > 0:00:36who in 2000 was given the freedom of Wolverhampton -
0:00:36 > 0:00:39gift or punishment, you decide, it's Denise Lewis.
0:00:39 > 0:00:40APPLAUSE
0:00:43 > 0:00:47And the star of Judge Rinder, who once appeared on Strictly
0:00:47 > 0:00:51dressed as a moth, a beautiful performance, although he did
0:00:51 > 0:00:55keep banging his head on the studio lights, it's Robert Rinder.
0:00:55 > 0:00:56APPLAUSE
0:00:58 > 0:01:01And on David Mitchell's team tonight,
0:01:01 > 0:01:05a TV presenter who's hosted over one thousand episodes
0:01:05 > 0:01:08of his Pointless show. I know how he feels, it's Richard Osman.
0:01:08 > 0:01:09APPLAUSE
0:01:12 > 0:01:16And a comedian and presenter who had to leave her native Canada
0:01:16 > 0:01:20as she'd already been on both of their TV shows, it's Katherine Ryan.
0:01:20 > 0:01:21APPLAUSE
0:01:21 > 0:01:22Hello.
0:01:24 > 0:01:28And so we begin with round one, Home Truths, where our panellists
0:01:28 > 0:01:30each read out a statement from the card in front of them.
0:01:30 > 0:01:34Now, to make things harder, they've never seen the card before,
0:01:34 > 0:01:36they have no idea what they'll be faced with
0:01:36 > 0:01:39and it's up to the opposing team to sort the fact from the fiction.
0:01:39 > 0:01:41Richard, you're first up tonight.
0:01:41 > 0:01:46When I worked in a shoe shop, my boss was called Mr Clog.
0:01:49 > 0:01:54Remarkably, I've had three other jobs where my boss' name was
0:01:54 > 0:01:57directly related to their profession.
0:02:00 > 0:02:01- Hm.- What?
0:02:01 > 0:02:04The obvious question to ask is what were those jobs
0:02:04 > 0:02:06and what were these people's names?
0:02:06 > 0:02:09Yeah, it is an obvious question, is it maybe too obvious a question?
0:02:09 > 0:02:11Maybe go somewhere else first, just...
0:02:11 > 0:02:15I want to know about the first, just tell us one of the jobs.
0:02:15 > 0:02:21At school I worked in a warehouse and the boss was called Mr Foreman.
0:02:21 > 0:02:25Mr Foreman? OK what was your job?
0:02:25 > 0:02:28- My...- Getting stuff down from the top shelf, obviously.
0:02:30 > 0:02:33How would you rate Foreman as a boss?
0:02:33 > 0:02:35If he was suspicious would he grill you?
0:02:35 > 0:02:37Foreman? Yeah, listen.
0:02:40 > 0:02:41Very good. OK...
0:02:41 > 0:02:45Why did you have so many jobs, did you keep getting sacked?
0:02:45 > 0:02:47No further questions.
0:02:47 > 0:02:50- What were the other two jobs? - Yeah, what was the other jobs?
0:02:50 > 0:02:54I worked in, do you remember the predecessor to Iceland which
0:02:54 > 0:02:55- was Bejam?- Yeah.
0:02:55 > 0:02:57My supervisor was called John Frost.
0:02:57 > 0:03:00Frost, Bejam, you can see Bejam didn't last,
0:03:00 > 0:03:03because people would go, why didn't they just call it Honey?
0:03:06 > 0:03:07Your final job was?
0:03:07 > 0:03:09Well, it was my first-ever job in television.
0:03:09 > 0:03:11- Right.- And that was?
0:03:11 > 0:03:14It was, well, it was a researcher on a computer games programme.
0:03:14 > 0:03:17- OK, and your, your boss was called? - My boss was called Tony Verrill?
0:03:17 > 0:03:20- What does that mean?- What's Verrill? - What does, what does Verrill mean? In relation to what?
0:03:20 > 0:03:23What do you mean? It's a surname, but his initials were TV.
0:03:23 > 0:03:24LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:03:28 > 0:03:30Very good, very good.
0:03:30 > 0:03:35Of all these bosses that you remember, Richard,
0:03:35 > 0:03:37who would you say was your favourite boss,
0:03:37 > 0:03:40what was it about that boss that made them so adorable?
0:03:40 > 0:03:43Well, John Frost wasn't really my boss, so I liked him.
0:03:43 > 0:03:45We had a bit more of - a bit more of a relationship.
0:03:45 > 0:03:48Mr Foreman, I found that was quite stressful as it was
0:03:48 > 0:03:50one of my first-ever jobs, and Tony Verrill still
0:03:50 > 0:03:53works in the industry so I will not be passing comment.
0:03:53 > 0:03:56Tony Verrill still works in the industry.
0:03:56 > 0:03:59- I've never come across him.- Yeah I've not come across Tony Verrill.
0:03:59 > 0:04:01What, have you come across him, David?
0:04:01 > 0:04:04Um... Yeah, I think I've worked with Tony Verrill.
0:04:04 > 0:04:08I'm pretty sure, not 100% but, yeah.
0:04:08 > 0:04:10- Do you know who Tony Verrill is? - I've no...- Tony Verrill?
0:04:10 > 0:04:14- No, never heard of him. - It's weird that none of us three have heard of Tony Verrill
0:04:14 > 0:04:16and yet all you three have heard of Tony Verrill.
0:04:16 > 0:04:19- Katherine hasn't.- Katherine hasn't. - Katherine has or hasn't?
0:04:19 > 0:04:22- I haven't, but it rings a bell. - Oh, so you sort of...
0:04:22 > 0:04:24- What do you think, truth or lie? - Truth or a lie?
0:04:24 > 0:04:27The thing is I think you're almost certainly sort of geeky
0:04:27 > 0:04:29enough to keep a record of that sort of thing
0:04:29 > 0:04:31and it's the type of thing that would amuse you
0:04:31 > 0:04:33and you'd remember at the time on the other hand it's also
0:04:33 > 0:04:36the type of thing that you could quickly construct to be clever.
0:04:36 > 0:04:37It's a challenging one.
0:04:37 > 0:04:39- What do you think?- Lie?
0:04:39 > 0:04:40Yes, I think so.
0:04:40 > 0:04:43- We'll have to say lie. - You're going to say lie, OK.
0:04:43 > 0:04:45- Just cos of Tony Verrill. - Richard, truth or lie?
0:04:45 > 0:04:46It is...
0:04:47 > 0:04:48A lie.
0:04:50 > 0:04:52Very good.
0:04:52 > 0:04:56Yes, it's a lie, Richard's never worked in a shoe shop with Mr Clog.
0:04:56 > 0:04:57Denise, you're next.
0:04:58 > 0:05:00Mine says possession.
0:05:00 > 0:05:03Ah, OK, under your desk is a box. If you take the object
0:05:03 > 0:05:10out of the box first, and then read the card, please.
0:05:11 > 0:05:14This is my lucky mascot. When competing I always made sure
0:05:14 > 0:05:16he travelled in an unzipped bag
0:05:16 > 0:05:19so he could poke his head out and breathe.
0:05:20 > 0:05:22David's team.
0:05:22 > 0:05:23What's his name?
0:05:23 > 0:05:25His name's Egbert.
0:05:25 > 0:05:26- Egbert.- Egbert.
0:05:26 > 0:05:28And when did you acquire Egbert?
0:05:30 > 0:05:32About the age of 14.
0:05:32 > 0:05:36I notice you said that you'd keep the zip open so he could
0:05:36 > 0:05:39breathe, which is very caring and lovely, but of course,
0:05:39 > 0:05:43ever since the show started he's been in that box...
0:05:44 > 0:05:46..with the lid the lid...
0:05:54 > 0:05:56Don't worry, Denise, he'll be all right!
0:05:56 > 0:05:58So when, when did you first take it?
0:05:58 > 0:06:02So presumably he brings you luck in sporting endeavour?
0:06:02 > 0:06:05I think it was just companionship, you know. I'm an only child
0:06:05 > 0:06:09and travelling, you know, as a junior athlete on my own,
0:06:09 > 0:06:11it can be a bit lonely.
0:06:11 > 0:06:15I can understand why, you know, it's nice to have familiar
0:06:15 > 0:06:17objects and, but, at the age of 14
0:06:17 > 0:06:20that's quite late to get a teddy bear.
0:06:20 > 0:06:24I wasn't given any cuddly toys at that age and I was a very....
0:06:24 > 0:06:25Ah!
0:06:25 > 0:06:29That is so clear to anybody watching now that you were never given
0:06:29 > 0:06:32a cuddly toy at that or any age.
0:06:33 > 0:06:36Have you ever put any of your gold medals around his neck
0:06:36 > 0:06:38- and taken a photograph? - I think I have, yeah.
0:06:38 > 0:06:40If I had a gold medal I'd put it round everything.
0:06:40 > 0:06:42Oh, what a horrible image that is.
0:06:47 > 0:06:49All right, time to decide.
0:06:49 > 0:06:51Truth or lie?
0:06:51 > 0:06:52I would suspect it's true.
0:06:52 > 0:06:54You think true, what do you think?
0:06:54 > 0:06:58I don't think it's true because when Mr Lee Mack was sort of
0:06:58 > 0:07:03resuscitating the bear, Denise wasn't too bothered about that.
0:07:03 > 0:07:05- Well, let's say lie. - You're going to say lie.
0:07:05 > 0:07:06- So we'll say lie.- It's a lie.
0:07:06 > 0:07:10Denise Lewis, truth or lie?
0:07:12 > 0:07:14- It's true. - KATHERINE:- No!
0:07:14 > 0:07:15APPLAUSE
0:07:18 > 0:07:21Yes, it's true, Denise did keep the zip open
0:07:21 > 0:07:25so that Egbert could breathe.
0:07:25 > 0:07:28Our next round is called This Is My, where we bring on a mystery guest
0:07:28 > 0:07:30who has a close connection to one of our panellists.
0:07:30 > 0:07:33Now, this week, each of Lee's team will claim it's them
0:07:33 > 0:07:36that has the genuine connection to the guest,
0:07:36 > 0:07:38it's up to David's team to spot who's telling the truth.
0:07:38 > 0:07:41So please welcome this week's special guest, Edward.
0:07:41 > 0:07:42APPLAUSE
0:07:49 > 0:07:52So, Robert, what is Edward to you?
0:07:52 > 0:07:58This is Edward and I had such a crush on him at school that for
0:07:58 > 0:08:03the past 20 years his name has been the basis for all of my passwords.
0:08:05 > 0:08:10So, Denise, what is Ed to you?
0:08:10 > 0:08:13This is Edward, and he helped me pick up my car
0:08:13 > 0:08:16and move it after I got blocked in by Daley Thompson.
0:08:17 > 0:08:21And finally, Lee, what is your relationship with Edward?
0:08:21 > 0:08:27This is Edward. I once dressed up as his wife so that his son
0:08:27 > 0:08:32would think that he'd seen his mum in the audience at the school play.
0:08:35 > 0:08:36So, there we have it.
0:08:38 > 0:08:40Is Edward Robert's childhood crush,
0:08:40 > 0:08:44Denise's car carrier or Lee's hoax husband?
0:08:44 > 0:08:46David's team, where to begin?
0:08:46 > 0:08:49Robert, so were you school buddies together?
0:08:49 > 0:08:53Not especially, because Edward was terribly good at sport, you see.
0:08:53 > 0:08:57I seem to remember Edward being terribly good at the pole vault.
0:09:00 > 0:09:03How are you still in touch with Edward?
0:09:03 > 0:09:06We're not. I haven't seen Edward for a number of years, in fact.
0:09:06 > 0:09:08- RICHARD:- How is he doing, do you think? Would you still?
0:09:08 > 0:09:10LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:09:16 > 0:09:18Can I just say that as my fake husband, I have.
0:09:21 > 0:09:25I'd say he's definitely moved into a new bracket.
0:09:26 > 0:09:27- Yeah.- But a very happy one.
0:09:27 > 0:09:32Yes, he's doing very well I'd say. You know. Very, very well indeed.
0:09:33 > 0:09:35Now, you said you hadn't seen him for a number of years.
0:09:35 > 0:09:38- No, a number of years.- Specifically, when was the last time you saw him?
0:09:38 > 0:09:42The last time I would have seen him would probably be 1993 or '94.
0:09:42 > 0:09:441993 or 4?
0:09:44 > 0:09:47But there wasn't the need for passwords
0:09:47 > 0:09:49until around the year 2000.
0:09:49 > 0:09:52Well, yes, but they then came in, I thought what would be more
0:09:52 > 0:09:56marvellous than having Edward as the basis of my passwords.
0:09:56 > 0:09:58Is he still the basis of your passwords?
0:09:58 > 0:10:00No comment.
0:10:00 > 0:10:04What I will say is that I spent a long time when I was bored looking
0:10:04 > 0:10:08for him on Facebook and that sort of thing, and on one occasion
0:10:08 > 0:10:11I found him and, and messaged him and there was no reply
0:10:11 > 0:10:13and I was very upset
0:10:13 > 0:10:15about that, and I always wondered what happened to him.
0:10:15 > 0:10:17And now I see.
0:10:20 > 0:10:24I'm struggling with this cos this is a thing that is done.
0:10:24 > 0:10:25I had a crush on a boy in school
0:10:25 > 0:10:29and his name is the basis for my passwords as well
0:10:29 > 0:10:33and I've been trying to stalk him on Facebook but he doesn't exist,
0:10:33 > 0:10:36he's not on Facebook, which makes him even sexier.
0:10:36 > 0:10:39- But I'm saying this is... - So you've got that exact story?
0:10:39 > 0:10:41Very plausible, yeah, this is my story.
0:10:41 > 0:10:44His name's Luke Matte, do you know him?
0:10:44 > 0:10:46- Yes.- You know?
0:10:46 > 0:10:48- I know Luke, Luke Matte. - No, because he was like...
0:10:48 > 0:10:51Yeah, he lives two doors down from me, single, newly single.
0:10:51 > 0:10:54- No.- Yeah, he works for Medicines San Frontier as,
0:10:54 > 0:10:57- he's a human rights lawyer...- No! - ..that works with them,
0:10:57 > 0:10:59but he takes six months of the year off
0:10:59 > 0:11:02because he runs a place for distressed puppies.
0:11:02 > 0:11:04Ahhh.
0:11:04 > 0:11:06He's a good guy.
0:11:06 > 0:11:09You know what, I literally just set him up with someone last week, that's so annoying.
0:11:09 > 0:11:12Ah, how frustrating. Great guy, hell of a guy.
0:11:12 > 0:11:14- All right, who would you like to... - That's very plausible.
0:11:14 > 0:11:16Who would you like to quiz next?
0:11:16 > 0:11:19Denise, explain what happened with Edward in the car
0:11:19 > 0:11:21and Daley Thompson.
0:11:21 > 0:11:26Yes, so I was parked in the car park at a stadium.
0:11:26 > 0:11:27Which stadium?
0:11:27 > 0:11:30Birmingham Alexander Stadium, in Birmingham, and...
0:11:30 > 0:11:33- Which car park? So like you had to...- Just VI... VIP.
0:11:33 > 0:11:34OK.
0:11:34 > 0:11:38- It's probably the Denise Lewis car park.- Yeah.
0:11:38 > 0:11:39I mean, to be fair,
0:11:39 > 0:11:42if you own a car in Birmingham you're automatically a VIP anyway.
0:11:42 > 0:11:43LAUGHTER
0:11:45 > 0:11:47APPLAUSE
0:11:47 > 0:11:48Why are you clapping?
0:11:50 > 0:11:52So I'm in the car park, went off to work,
0:11:52 > 0:11:56had a big national championships, came back out,
0:11:56 > 0:12:00desperate to get back down to London,
0:12:00 > 0:12:02and my car was blocked, blocked in.
0:12:02 > 0:12:04That was Daley Thompson?
0:12:04 > 0:12:05That was Daley Thompson.
0:12:05 > 0:12:08Well, hang on. How do we know that? Let's take it...
0:12:08 > 0:12:10What happens next?
0:12:10 > 0:12:14Well, Eddie, he's an, an official.
0:12:14 > 0:12:18- Right.- You know, he used to be an athlete - can see he's well stacked.
0:12:18 > 0:12:19What was his sport?
0:12:20 > 0:12:22He was actually a thrower.
0:12:22 > 0:12:24- Of what? - Discus.
0:12:24 > 0:12:27Sorry, are you actually... you're a BBC commentator
0:12:27 > 0:12:29- and you called him a thrower. - A thrower.
0:12:30 > 0:12:33So he's a thrower of the incredibly heavy Frisbee.
0:12:35 > 0:12:38Yes, yeah, he used to compete, national level.
0:12:38 > 0:12:39- OK. - Didn't quite make it.
0:12:39 > 0:12:41- Yeah.- Didn't quite make it.
0:12:41 > 0:12:42All right, he is here!
0:12:42 > 0:12:44- It's not easy to get to the top. - Yeah.
0:12:44 > 0:12:46- RICHARD:- That's such a show-off thing to do.
0:12:46 > 0:12:47Well, I'm sorry. I'm just saying.
0:12:47 > 0:12:50It's actually really, really hard to be an amazingly good athlete.
0:12:50 > 0:12:54Some people can do it, some people can't do it, Eddie, I'm sorry.
0:12:54 > 0:12:57So there you are, Denise, you're blocked in,
0:12:57 > 0:12:59- Eddie, Edward is there.- I'm livid.
0:12:59 > 0:13:01Cos he's an official, he used to throw things.
0:13:01 > 0:13:04When does Daley come into it?
0:13:04 > 0:13:07Well, his...has a private registration plate
0:13:07 > 0:13:08and I didn't notice that.
0:13:08 > 0:13:11He's got, he's one of those people... What does it say?
0:13:11 > 0:13:13- DT10.- DT10. Of course.
0:13:13 > 0:13:16- DT10. - Fibber.
0:13:16 > 0:13:18I said to Eddie, "I need to get out of here quickly, can
0:13:18 > 0:13:22"you help?" He said, "Let me go and get some of these other throwers."
0:13:22 > 0:13:26They said, "Listen, if we manoeuvre this car, swing the back out
0:13:26 > 0:13:30"a little bit, you should be able to manoeuvre around Daley's car."
0:13:30 > 0:13:33But so you never met, I'm sure you have met Daley Thompson
0:13:33 > 0:13:36but he never turned up during the anecdote?
0:13:36 > 0:13:39Couldn't find him anywhere. It's only when I came back to
0:13:39 > 0:13:41the car did I realise it was his car because of the number plate.
0:13:41 > 0:13:44- But you were looking for him before that?- No.
0:13:44 > 0:13:46Just to sort of commiserate -
0:13:46 > 0:13:49"The person I need to talk to now is Daley Thompson cos
0:13:49 > 0:13:53"if there's someone who understands a parking crisis it's him."
0:13:53 > 0:13:54Can I just check,
0:13:54 > 0:13:57have you two met? Cos you need a really good defence lawyer.
0:13:57 > 0:13:59No, I do.
0:13:59 > 0:14:00- Can I continue? - Yes, please do.
0:14:00 > 0:14:05Thank you. So Eddie came to my aid and helped me manoeuvre the car
0:14:05 > 0:14:07and away I went.
0:14:07 > 0:14:10Away you went, and Daley Thompson turned up presumably later?
0:14:10 > 0:14:12- I don't know cos I didn't see him. - You didn't see him.
0:14:12 > 0:14:14- - Have you seen him since?- Yeah. - - Yes.
0:14:14 > 0:14:16And have you mentioned this story to him?
0:14:16 > 0:14:18Yes.
0:14:18 > 0:14:20- And, OK, that checks out. - What did he say?
0:14:20 > 0:14:22- - Yeah, that's the question. - - DENISE:- What did he say?
0:14:22 > 0:14:24- Yeah.- Oh, shut up.
0:14:24 > 0:14:26- Ah!- He said, "Oh, shut up"?
0:14:26 > 0:14:28Listen, I've known Daley a long time,
0:14:28 > 0:14:32one of the first things he said to me, at the age of 14, he called me...
0:14:32 > 0:14:33Was, "Look after this bear."
0:14:42 > 0:14:44All right, now, of course
0:14:44 > 0:14:47perhaps most the plausible of all is yet to...
0:14:47 > 0:14:49Just remind us, Lee.
0:14:49 > 0:14:51This is Edward.
0:14:51 > 0:14:54I once dressed as his wife so his son would think
0:14:54 > 0:14:58he'd seen his mum whilst performing in the school play.
0:14:58 > 0:14:59What was the play?
0:14:59 > 0:15:01It was actually a nativity play.
0:15:01 > 0:15:04OK, and what was Edward's son playing?
0:15:04 > 0:15:06Edward's son was playing Joseph.
0:15:06 > 0:15:08Were your children in the play?
0:15:08 > 0:15:11My children were not in the play, it would have been inappropriate
0:15:11 > 0:15:13due to the fact that they don't go to that school.
0:15:13 > 0:15:15So you went, you went to a school
0:15:15 > 0:15:19where your children are not enrolled, dressed as a woman...
0:15:19 > 0:15:21Well, correct.
0:15:21 > 0:15:25..to trick a little boy into thinking you were his mum.
0:15:25 > 0:15:29Yeah. Yeah, I admit when you say it like that it does sound a bit dodgy.
0:15:29 > 0:15:32Let's, let's go back. Lee, let's go back to the beginning.
0:15:32 > 0:15:34How did this come about, how did Edward approach you?
0:15:34 > 0:15:38So Edward was at the school and apparently,
0:15:38 > 0:15:41he got a phone call off his wife saying that she couldn't make it.
0:15:41 > 0:15:44Now, his wife had already missed three or four big events, you know,
0:15:44 > 0:15:47all the big ones that are important like, the sports days
0:15:47 > 0:15:50and the various things and this was sort of like I promise
0:15:50 > 0:15:53you I'm going to be there, I promise you I'll do this one.
0:15:53 > 0:15:54Why, why wasn't she there?
0:15:54 > 0:15:57Well, something to do with work, something got...
0:15:57 > 0:15:58What's her work?
0:15:58 > 0:16:00I didn't get chance to get into too many details,
0:16:00 > 0:16:02Edward rang in a panic, absolutely panicking he was.
0:16:02 > 0:16:04- What's her job? - What's the wife's job?
0:16:04 > 0:16:06- Yes.- Actually I don't know his wife very well.
0:16:06 > 0:16:08- Do you know him? - Oh, Edward, yeah.
0:16:08 > 0:16:11You're the first person he'd call, though, but you don't know his...
0:16:11 > 0:16:12That's right, because me
0:16:12 > 0:16:15and him do lots of things behind his wife's back and he knows that...
0:16:15 > 0:16:17- So he rang you up.- Yeah.
0:16:17 > 0:16:18And what did he say?
0:16:18 > 0:16:20He was panicking and went, "Lee!" I went, "What?"
0:16:20 > 0:16:23He said, "She's not turned up again," I said, "Who?",
0:16:23 > 0:16:26he said, "My wife." I said, "What DOES she do for a living?" He said,
0:16:26 > 0:16:29"Not now!" He said...he said,
0:16:29 > 0:16:32"I need your help and I need it quickly."
0:16:32 > 0:16:35- Yeah.- I said, "You know me, I'll always be there for you."
0:16:35 > 0:16:38He said, "I need you to meet me at my house," so I get to the house.
0:16:38 > 0:16:39- You get there.- I run in the house
0:16:39 > 0:16:42and he only had time for one phrase.
0:16:42 > 0:16:43"Put this on."
0:16:44 > 0:16:48He said, "I need you to dress as my wife because last time
0:16:48 > 0:16:52"I went to see him in a play, she didn't turn up." And I said,
0:16:52 > 0:16:55"But you saw me, right?" And he said, the kid said,
0:16:55 > 0:16:59"No, I didn't see you cos the spotlights are so bright, everyone's just like a silhouette."
0:16:59 > 0:17:03So, he said, "That's how I think you can get away with this,
0:17:03 > 0:17:06"I want you to dress as my wife and then
0:17:06 > 0:17:09"when he looks out he'll think that you're with me."
0:17:09 > 0:17:11Did he notice your beard?
0:17:13 > 0:17:15Well, this is the thing. I said that.
0:17:15 > 0:17:16Now, as luck would have it
0:17:16 > 0:17:20I don't know what his wife does, but she has a beard.
0:17:20 > 0:17:24I know she works in a circus but I don't know exactly what she does.
0:17:31 > 0:17:34That was very well dodged, Lee, I must say.
0:17:34 > 0:17:37No, she... At the time, I did not have a beard.
0:17:37 > 0:17:39- Oh, you were clean-shaven.- Yes.
0:17:39 > 0:17:42Which is why he was annoyed, cos, like I say, she does.
0:17:44 > 0:17:46Does she have a very distinctive silhouette?
0:17:46 > 0:17:47She does.
0:17:47 > 0:17:51I would describe her silhouette as Lee Mackesque.
0:17:52 > 0:17:53It's the only way I can describe her.
0:17:53 > 0:17:55Did you have to wear a wig?
0:17:55 > 0:17:56No, I did, I didn't wear a wig
0:17:56 > 0:18:00- cos luckily his wife has very short hair.- And a beard.- And a beard.
0:18:00 > 0:18:03Didn't wear a wig, so you just went with your head,
0:18:03 > 0:18:04shaven but, yeah.
0:18:04 > 0:18:07I went, I just went with her silhouette. Look, with a hat,
0:18:07 > 0:18:08scarf, pipe.
0:18:08 > 0:18:10But what did you wear?
0:18:12 > 0:18:14But you, you haven't told us.
0:18:14 > 0:18:15"Nice one, Jesus!"
0:18:17 > 0:18:21You haven't told us what you put on in your friend's bedroom.
0:18:21 > 0:18:23So he had all, all the things were about, all the clothes.
0:18:23 > 0:18:26What he got a range for you to choose from?
0:18:26 > 0:18:27Well, she had things...
0:18:27 > 0:18:29"Pick out something nice that you fancy."
0:18:29 > 0:18:32He said... He had it ready for me when I got there.
0:18:32 > 0:18:34He said, "This is what she would... We could get...
0:18:34 > 0:18:37"This is the stuff that the kid would recognise."
0:18:37 > 0:18:39So we went with a long mackintosh.
0:18:41 > 0:18:42What's Edward's son called?
0:18:42 > 0:18:46Edward's son is called Eddie, little Eddie.
0:18:48 > 0:18:49That was a bad choice.
0:18:49 > 0:18:51Yeah, well, little Ed.
0:18:51 > 0:18:54And then after the play, that lovely bit where the kids excitedly go
0:18:54 > 0:18:57and meet with their parents and say, "How was it?"
0:18:57 > 0:18:59That was the bit that we were worried about.
0:18:59 > 0:19:00"How was it, Mummy and Daddy?"
0:19:00 > 0:19:03Well, I had to do, there was only one thing that we could do, I said
0:19:03 > 0:19:05to him, "You're going to have to totally commit to this,"
0:19:05 > 0:19:07and so we're now married...
0:19:07 > 0:19:10..and we adopted him and we ran away and the wife doesn't know
0:19:10 > 0:19:13where we are and this is the first time she will have known about it.
0:19:13 > 0:19:16No, we actually we stood at the back
0:19:16 > 0:19:19and as he walked towards us I sort of turned around, walked quickly
0:19:19 > 0:19:21and sort of waved like that and he said...
0:19:21 > 0:19:23You ran away from him?
0:19:23 > 0:19:24Yes, well, what choice did I have?
0:19:24 > 0:19:27And apparently, big Ed said to me afterwards, he said,
0:19:27 > 0:19:29I just had to say, "Oh, Mummy's gotta get back quickly,
0:19:29 > 0:19:33"she's..." Well, I don't know what she does for a living, he didn't know either.
0:19:33 > 0:19:35All right, we need an answer.
0:19:35 > 0:19:38So, David's team, is Edward Robert's childhood crush,
0:19:38 > 0:19:44Denise's car carrier or Lee's hoax husband?
0:19:44 > 0:19:45Well, it's...
0:19:45 > 0:19:47Well, I mean, Lee was fairly convincing.
0:19:49 > 0:19:51- Hard to see past that, isn't it? - What do you think?
0:19:51 > 0:19:55I feel like when Denise was telling her story Edward was smiling
0:19:55 > 0:19:57a little bit more.
0:19:57 > 0:19:59Look at him, look at his... See.
0:20:00 > 0:20:01Gosh, it's difficult, isn't it?
0:20:01 > 0:20:03I'm tempted to say Robert.
0:20:05 > 0:20:06You think Robert?
0:20:06 > 0:20:10I'm really torn, I would say Denise but I just don't know cos
0:20:10 > 0:20:12I was wrong once already.
0:20:12 > 0:20:14OK, time to make a decision, David.
0:20:14 > 0:20:16- Shall we say Denise? - Who's it going to be?
0:20:16 > 0:20:18Oh, right, so you, you think it's Denise now?
0:20:18 > 0:20:20If you two think it's Denise that's great, I can opt out,
0:20:20 > 0:20:23if you both think it's Robert that's great, I can opt out,
0:20:23 > 0:20:25if you both think it's Lee, I've overruling you.
0:20:28 > 0:20:29We'll go Robert.
0:20:29 > 0:20:31Going to say it's Robert.
0:20:31 > 0:20:33If this does turn out to be true,
0:20:33 > 0:20:39you do realise we're about to witness quite a moment.
0:20:40 > 0:20:44So, Edward, would you please reveal your true identity?
0:20:44 > 0:20:47I am Edward, and I am... I was Robert's inspiration
0:20:47 > 0:20:49for a password.
0:21:05 > 0:21:08Would you like to say anything to Edward, Robert?
0:21:08 > 0:21:10I could dress up as you and fill in, I'm trained.
0:21:12 > 0:21:15What would you like to say to him? Here's your chance.
0:21:24 > 0:21:27- Yes, yeah... Hello, Edward.- Hi.
0:21:29 > 0:21:32Well done, you really kept it together.
0:21:32 > 0:21:36Edward, did you realise that Robert had this crush on you?
0:21:36 > 0:21:38- No, not at all.- Ah.
0:21:38 > 0:21:39Oh, you must have done.
0:21:39 > 0:21:41What a lovely evening this is for you, then.
0:21:41 > 0:21:43Thank you very much, Edward.
0:21:47 > 0:21:48Very nice to see you.
0:21:50 > 0:21:53Which brings us to our final round, Quickfire Lies.
0:21:53 > 0:21:55And we start with...
0:21:55 > 0:21:56..it's David.
0:21:58 > 0:22:00Ten years ago, on this show,
0:22:00 > 0:22:04I revealed I'd only ever bought one album,
0:22:04 > 0:22:08Phil Collins, But Seriously.
0:22:08 > 0:22:11I'm now pleased to report that I've since doubled my collection.
0:22:13 > 0:22:15Lee's team.
0:22:15 > 0:22:17What's the album, what's the new album?
0:22:17 > 0:22:19Uh it's, uh, it, it's...
0:22:19 > 0:22:22Well, I didn't... Hang on, check something...
0:22:22 > 0:22:24I... It...doesn't say on there.
0:22:26 > 0:22:29- I can't remember the name of it. - You can't remember...
0:22:29 > 0:22:32- Can't remember?- ..the name of the only other album you've bought.
0:22:32 > 0:22:34I know the artiste.
0:22:34 > 0:22:37- What's the artist? - It's, it was Susan Boyle's album.
0:22:42 > 0:22:44Why would you buy a Susan Boyle record?
0:22:44 > 0:22:48With the greatest of respect to Susan, why would you choose her?
0:22:48 > 0:22:55Well, because it was, you know, it was much talked about at the time
0:22:55 > 0:23:02of its release and I was looking for something to write about.
0:23:02 > 0:23:05You've not got that journalist job at the NME still, have you, David?
0:23:05 > 0:23:08No, no, for the Observer.
0:23:08 > 0:23:11Can you remember the name of any of the songs?
0:23:11 > 0:23:13- No, I, but these...- Wow.
0:23:13 > 0:23:17But, wait, wait, I could guess a lot of the songs cos they weren't,
0:23:17 > 0:23:18I don't think she'd written the songs.
0:23:18 > 0:23:20We were talking about it earlier, weren't we?
0:23:20 > 0:23:22You said your favourite was I Dreamed A Dream.
0:23:22 > 0:23:24Can you just give us a rendition of that,
0:23:24 > 0:23:28- can you hum that or sing that or something?- Can I hum I Dreamed A Dream?- Hang on.
0:23:28 > 0:23:30I don't think you can because we'd have to pay then,
0:23:30 > 0:23:32so it would be inappropriate, so you mustn't.
0:23:32 > 0:23:35- Sorry. He's very experienced in TV. - Sorry, that's annoying.
0:23:35 > 0:23:37Well, I'll tell you what, David, I will tell you...
0:23:37 > 0:23:40- He learned from the best - Tony Verrill.- Yeah.
0:23:40 > 0:23:44David, I will tell you the names of some of Susan's album
0:23:44 > 0:23:47releases, or escapes more than releases...
0:23:50 > 0:23:54..and you tell me if any of them ring a bell, OK?
0:23:54 > 0:23:55- OK.- The Gift.
0:23:57 > 0:23:58I don't know.
0:23:59 > 0:24:01A Wonderful World.
0:24:01 > 0:24:03I reckon that might have been on there.
0:24:03 > 0:24:06No, this is the album title.
0:24:06 > 0:24:09- Oh, sorry, oh, the album title? - Yes.
0:24:09 > 0:24:11Was the album title The Gift?
0:24:11 > 0:24:15Oh, no, now, I promise you the album title is not going to ring a bell.
0:24:15 > 0:24:18Because for me it was The Susan Boyle album.
0:24:18 > 0:24:20OK, you can't remember the name of the album,
0:24:20 > 0:24:24you can't remember the name of any of the songs, can you remember how you felt listening to it?
0:24:24 > 0:24:25ROBERT LAUGHS
0:24:26 > 0:24:30I think I felt... My recollection is I felt it was fine.
0:24:30 > 0:24:32- Fine?- Yeah.
0:24:32 > 0:24:34What's it going to be, Lee? Time to guess.
0:24:34 > 0:24:36- Denise, you're saying it's a... - Lie.
0:24:36 > 0:24:38- A lie?- No, I actually think it's true.
0:24:38 > 0:24:39- It's true.- Mm.
0:24:39 > 0:24:41Yes, I'm with Denise, just about.
0:24:41 > 0:24:44- OK.- OK, going to say true?
0:24:44 > 0:24:46- True, yeah. - OK, David, truth or lie?
0:24:47 > 0:24:49- It is true.- Wow.
0:24:52 > 0:24:56Yes, it's true, David has indeed doubled his music collection.
0:24:56 > 0:25:00Next...it's Katherine.
0:25:02 > 0:25:06I was ticked off by the head master after I mistakenly packed
0:25:06 > 0:25:10a pina colada in my daughter's lunch box for a school trip.
0:25:10 > 0:25:12- Whoa.- Lee's team.
0:25:12 > 0:25:14- Wow.- Wow.
0:25:14 > 0:25:16What did you think it was?
0:25:16 > 0:25:19Well, they have these lovely, really lovely, like, frozen packs
0:25:19 > 0:25:23for the freezer, and you just take them out and squeeze them out,
0:25:23 > 0:25:25it's like a little frozen...
0:25:25 > 0:25:28But they really look juicy. I thought it was just a little juice.
0:25:28 > 0:25:31Are you thinking of Fruit Shoots and things like that?
0:25:31 > 0:25:33No, no, I'll tell you the name, do you want to know the brand name?
0:25:33 > 0:25:35- Yes, I do.- Capri Sun.
0:25:35 > 0:25:37- Oh, the fruit drink in a pouch? - Delicious.- Love 'em.
0:25:37 > 0:25:41So why did you think it was anything else, cos you were the one that bought it?
0:25:41 > 0:25:44Yeah, because I just buy lots of stuff for the fridge.
0:25:44 > 0:25:47I just grabbed it because I'm not with it in the morning
0:25:47 > 0:25:49cos I'm having pina coladas the night before.
0:25:49 > 0:25:51What did the person at school...
0:25:51 > 0:25:53Did you get a telephone call or were you invited in?
0:25:53 > 0:25:56- Oh, I was invited in on this occasion.- And what did they say?
0:25:56 > 0:25:57- Hello, your daughter's drunk. - Yes.- No.
0:25:57 > 0:26:00Your six-year-old's wasted again.
0:26:00 > 0:26:03She didn't drink it, she knew right away what it was, it wasn't for her.
0:26:03 > 0:26:05- Did she report you?- Yeah.
0:26:05 > 0:26:06Oh, she's a grass.
0:26:06 > 0:26:08She's such a grass.
0:26:08 > 0:26:11She tells people, "My mummy hides wine in the walls," but that's...
0:26:11 > 0:26:14- In the walls?- ..a wine rack. - Oh, I see.
0:26:15 > 0:26:18But they have problem with me anyway.
0:26:18 > 0:26:19- Why?- Why?- They've met her.
0:26:19 > 0:26:21Well, yeah, they've met me, that's number one,
0:26:21 > 0:26:25I did a school run in a bathrobe.
0:26:25 > 0:26:27- No.- Oh. What?
0:26:27 > 0:26:29- DENISE:- One of those, really?
0:26:29 > 0:26:31You go to school in a bathrobe?
0:26:31 > 0:26:33- Yes, because...- What have you got under the bathrobe?
0:26:33 > 0:26:35None of your business.
0:26:36 > 0:26:39So talk us through now, you've gone into the school,
0:26:39 > 0:26:42they've called you in, to the head master, or head mistress' office.
0:26:42 > 0:26:44What happens?
0:26:44 > 0:26:47They just said, "I suppose you thought you were being funny,"
0:26:47 > 0:26:49and I said, "I'm sorry, what was funny?"
0:26:49 > 0:26:52And they said, "You know what you thought was funny," and I said,
0:26:52 > 0:26:55- "No, I really don't know."- They spoke to you like that, a parent?
0:26:55 > 0:26:57Yeah, you should see my fresh look,
0:26:57 > 0:26:59they think I'm 16, that's the other problem.
0:26:59 > 0:27:02- Who does? - The faculty, I don't know.
0:27:02 > 0:27:05How sympathetic was this lighting, was it sort of...?
0:27:09 > 0:27:11Don't you find that the....
0:27:11 > 0:27:13We've been doing this show 11 years, that's the most catty thing
0:27:13 > 0:27:15that's ever been said.
0:27:15 > 0:27:18So, Katherine, he says to you, "What do you think you're doing?"
0:27:18 > 0:27:22- What happened then?- He had the pina colada in his desk drawer and said,
0:27:22 > 0:27:25"It's not funny to send your daughter on a school trip with alcohol."
0:27:25 > 0:27:28- Wow. - What do you think, truth or lie?
0:27:28 > 0:27:29- I can see her doing it.- Yes.
0:27:29 > 0:27:32I really could see you doing it, Katherine.
0:27:32 > 0:27:34- Thanks. - But, I think it's a lie.
0:27:34 > 0:27:37So, basically you don't think this particular incident is true
0:27:37 > 0:27:38but she possibly is an alcoholic.
0:27:40 > 0:27:41I think it's most certainly a lie.
0:27:41 > 0:27:44OK, well, my team seem to think it's a lie. So we'll say lie.
0:27:44 > 0:27:46OK, Katherine, truth or lie?
0:27:46 > 0:27:48Nah, it IS a lie.
0:27:48 > 0:27:49Oh.
0:27:49 > 0:27:50APPLAUSE
0:27:51 > 0:27:52I didn't do that.
0:27:52 > 0:27:54Yes, it's a lie,
0:27:54 > 0:27:57Katherine didn't put a pina colada in her daughter's lunch box.
0:27:57 > 0:27:58BUZZER
0:27:58 > 0:28:01Well, that noise signals time is up, it's the end of the show,
0:28:01 > 0:28:03and I can reveal that Lee's team have won by four points to one.
0:28:03 > 0:28:04CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:28:07 > 0:28:10Thanks for watching. We'll see you next time. Goodnight.