0:00:20 > 0:00:22APPLAUSE
0:00:22 > 0:00:25'Tonight on Would I Lie To You...
0:00:25 > 0:00:29'three golds in succession, Sir Chris Hoy!
0:00:29 > 0:00:33'Making an impression, Ronni Ancona!
0:00:33 > 0:00:37'And their team captain, David Mitchell!'
0:00:37 > 0:00:38CHEERING
0:00:38 > 0:00:43'And facing them tonight, sports fan Gabby Logan!
0:00:43 > 0:00:46'Yes man, Danny Wallace!
0:00:46 > 0:00:50'And their team captain, Lee Mack!
0:00:50 > 0:00:54'And here's your host, Rob Brydon.'
0:00:54 > 0:00:57CHEERING
0:00:59 > 0:01:06Good evening and welcome to Would I Lie To You?, the show that rewards the ability to deceive.
0:01:06 > 0:01:11In medieval English courts, the truth was tested by ordeals of fire
0:01:11 > 0:01:15and water on the basis a truthful person would be protected by God,
0:01:15 > 0:01:21who would then let them live a long and fruitful life until they died of syphilis, aged 22.
0:01:21 > 0:01:25When asked if lying is justified, a staggering
0:01:25 > 0:01:3173% of university students simply copied their answer from Wikipedia.
0:01:31 > 0:01:36And so to Round One, Home Truths, where our panellists each read out
0:01:36 > 0:01:38a statement from the card in front of them.
0:01:38 > 0:01:44To make things harder, they've never seen the card before, so they've no idea what they'll be faced with.
0:01:44 > 0:01:47It's up to the opposing team to sift the fact from the fiction.
0:01:47 > 0:01:50So, Chris, you're first up.
0:01:50 > 0:01:52Please reveal all.
0:01:52 > 0:01:57I have been approached by NASA to be the first man to cycle on the moon.
0:01:57 > 0:01:58Lee's team?
0:02:00 > 0:02:04My first instinct is why? Because, obviously, you can't
0:02:04 > 0:02:07go that fast on the moon, so it would be a waste of your talents.
0:02:07 > 0:02:10They may as well take you, Lee, with all respect.
0:02:13 > 0:02:17And I'm imagining that your insurance is a lot higher than YOUR insurance.
0:02:20 > 0:02:26Gabby, why are you so convinced that it was Lee and Chris that got down to the last two?
0:02:26 > 0:02:28Anyway, when, when?
0:02:28 > 0:02:30It was straight after Beijing, about two weeks after.
0:02:30 > 0:02:36- I had numerous requests and I had emails from all kinds of different people.- Why did they wait two weeks?
0:02:36 > 0:02:39- Lee said no. - Not straightaway.
0:02:39 > 0:02:41I thought about it for a couple of weeks.
0:02:41 > 0:02:43I think I can sort this out.
0:02:43 > 0:02:47It's quite a bold claim you're making there, Chris.
0:02:47 > 0:02:50Tell me, is it true?
0:02:55 > 0:02:57APPLAUSE
0:02:57 > 0:03:02- Course it's true.- Oh, very good. Very good, yes.- Whoa, whoa, whoa...
0:03:02 > 0:03:05- He might be lying.- He might be lying.- He might be lying.
0:03:05 > 0:03:09- Oh, I hadn't thought of that.- Yeah. Did they explain why it's crucial
0:03:09 > 0:03:14to the future of space exploration to have you moving very slowly on a bike?
0:03:14 > 0:03:20He wouldn't move slowly! Not with his stabilisers, he wouldn't.
0:03:20 > 0:03:23- I forgot about the stabilisers. - There would haven't been any difference whether it's fast or not.
0:03:23 > 0:03:27It's about the fact there was gonna be a bicycle on the moon, the first bicycle on the moon.
0:03:27 > 0:03:29And could you be arsed?
0:03:29 > 0:03:31- Could I be...?- Bothered?
0:03:33 > 0:03:36If it had been possible, then yes.
0:03:36 > 0:03:37- It turned out it wasn't possible to do it.- Why?
0:03:37 > 0:03:39Because you can't fly a rocket.
0:03:39 > 0:03:43How long would this whole trip have taken?
0:03:43 > 0:03:47There's so many safety procedures, and you have to go through specific medical checks and all this stuff...
0:03:47 > 0:03:52- You thought it was too much hassle. - They were saying it was going be like two weeks of stuff just here.
0:03:52 > 0:03:55- That was one of the big issues for it not happening.- Because of the time?
0:03:55 > 0:03:57- Because it would take two weeks to do that?- Well, yeah...
0:03:57 > 0:04:01A minute ago, my friend, you said, when I put the question to you, "Could you be bothered?"
0:04:01 > 0:04:03you said, "Yes, I would have done it."
0:04:03 > 0:04:08- I would have...- And then because it was two weeks out of your schedule to go to the moon, to do something
0:04:08 > 0:04:11no-one else had ever done, suddenly you couldn't be bothered.
0:04:11 > 0:04:15- Well, when I say- I- couldn't be bothered, it was pretty much down to the Federation.
0:04:15 > 0:04:18- There's quite strict guidelines in terms of what you can do, what you can't do.- You can't go to the moon?
0:04:18 > 0:04:21- That's mentioned then? - That's the first thing.
0:04:21 > 0:04:26- Clause one.- You must train all the time, no drugs and, by the way, new one, no going to the moon.
0:04:26 > 0:04:29Is this an ordinary bicycle they asked you to do it on?
0:04:29 > 0:04:32Nah, it would have been a special bike. Off-road tyres, for a start...
0:04:32 > 0:04:37- Off-road tyres?! - Moon tyres.- Cos there's not many roads on the moon or tracks.
0:04:37 > 0:04:40My gut is saying that he would have been
0:04:40 > 0:04:43approached to do this, because people jump on the bandwagon, don't they?
0:04:43 > 0:04:48The thing is, right, you have to, er... I've seen people go to the moon on the telly, right?
0:04:48 > 0:04:52And they wear space costumes with helmets like goldfish bowls.
0:04:52 > 0:04:55- That's true.- Right? So he'd have to wear this costume, like that, and he'd be sat on...
0:04:55 > 0:05:00what he's admitted himself is a reasonably ordinary bike with slightly wider tyres.
0:05:00 > 0:05:02It would be like Eamonn Holmes riding a tricycle.
0:05:04 > 0:05:08- So is he telling the truth, Lee? - It costs a lot to put a man on the moon, doesn't it?- And a bike.
0:05:08 > 0:05:12- And a bike.- It does when you put it on British Rail. You have to pay two quid for the bike.
0:05:12 > 0:05:16- I'm going to say lie then. What are you gonna...? - I'm going to go with my team.
0:05:16 > 0:05:20- Lie.- If they say it's a lie, we'll say a lie then. - You're saying lie? OK.
0:05:20 > 0:05:23- Sir Chris Hoy? It is a lie? - It...
0:05:23 > 0:05:25Lie.
0:05:27 > 0:05:28It was a lie.
0:05:28 > 0:05:32Chris hasn't been approached by NASA to cycle on the moon.
0:05:32 > 0:05:36Although he has cycled through the lobby of a Travelodge, so has
0:05:36 > 0:05:39experience of pedalling somewhere hostile with no atmosphere.
0:05:41 > 0:05:44Gabby Logan, you're next.
0:05:44 > 0:05:50When I present a show for the first time, I like to wear red underwear.
0:05:50 > 0:05:52Oh...
0:05:52 > 0:05:57- David's team, what do you think?- People were genuinely moved by that.
0:05:57 > 0:05:58Why?
0:05:58 > 0:06:02Red is a colour synonymous with luck and fortune,
0:06:02 > 0:06:07with the Chinese anyway, and I...
0:06:07 > 0:06:09Chris, you must know what superstitions...
0:06:09 > 0:06:14- I don't follow superstitions.- You should - you'd be really good then.
0:06:14 > 0:06:18The Chinese... This Chinese thing with red...
0:06:18 > 0:06:21none of you looked like you had any recognition of that. I thought this was quite well-known.
0:06:21 > 0:06:24No, I associate red with sort of Communism
0:06:24 > 0:06:30and the colour bits of the map were painted during the glory days of the British Empire.
0:06:32 > 0:06:34The Chinese do get married in red, don't they?
0:06:34 > 0:06:37But you're not Chinese. Why do you find the need to go for a Chinese custom?
0:06:37 > 0:06:40Yeah, what's wrong with OUR luck?
0:06:40 > 0:06:43What's wrong with a nice horseshoe or something? You have to go for Chinese luck.
0:06:43 > 0:06:46That's better luck. Alternative luck.
0:06:46 > 0:06:51Nothing wrong with good, conventional luck. An operation, not acupuncture!
0:06:52 > 0:06:58I'm not sure if there are actually any colours synonymous with luck in the UK. I'm not really sure.
0:06:58 > 0:07:01Why don't you stick two magpies in your bra?
0:07:01 > 0:07:03You could go, "Bad luck. Oh, stroke of luck!"
0:07:03 > 0:07:08I do actually say, if I see one magpie, I say, "Hello, Mr Magpie, how's your partner?"
0:07:08 > 0:07:11- Cos you have to say "partner". You can't say "wife" or "husband". - Right...
0:07:11 > 0:07:13That would be assuming that they have a heterosexual relationship.
0:07:13 > 0:07:16So a magpie...
0:07:16 > 0:07:20It's political correctness gone mad!
0:07:20 > 0:07:22- David, what do you reckon?- Erm...
0:07:22 > 0:07:26It's very hard. I'm a very indecisive person, as you know, Rob.
0:07:26 > 0:07:28I don't... It's very...
0:07:28 > 0:07:31Hang on a minute.
0:07:31 > 0:07:33"As you know, Rob."
0:07:33 > 0:07:36That makes it sound like I'm always coming on to you, and you're always saying,
0:07:36 > 0:07:38"I can't make my mind up."
0:07:38 > 0:07:41- What do you think? - Well, it's a difficult one. - You're the captain, come on.
0:07:41 > 0:07:44- It's your choice. - You want me to show leadership.
0:07:44 > 0:07:46Oh, Christ!
0:07:46 > 0:07:50Imagine if he'd been on your Olympic training team.
0:07:50 > 0:07:55"I can't get it to win!" "Well, just try cycling quicker. I don't know. I can't..."
0:07:56 > 0:08:01- You're saying it's...- I'm saying true.- You're saying it's... - I think it's a lie, but...
0:08:01 > 0:08:06- On balance, I think it's a lie, so I'm going to say lie.- You're saying that your team consider it a lie.
0:08:06 > 0:08:09Gabby Logan, is it a lie or is it the truth?
0:08:09 > 0:08:10It is...the truth.
0:08:10 > 0:08:14Oh! Sorry.
0:08:15 > 0:08:20Yes, it's true. When Gabby presents a show for the first time, she does like to wear red underwear.
0:08:20 > 0:08:25Actually, when I'm presenting, I like to wear my lucky pants.
0:08:25 > 0:08:27I've had them for ten years and I'm sticking to them.
0:08:27 > 0:08:29AUDIENCE GROANS
0:08:29 > 0:08:31Danny, your turn.
0:08:31 > 0:08:34All right. Here we go.
0:08:34 > 0:08:38Whenever someone recognises me but can't place me,
0:08:38 > 0:08:41I tell them I'm part of the Olympic cycling team.
0:08:41 > 0:08:49- David's team, what do you think? - So, er, why do you do that, other then, you know, hilariousness?
0:08:49 > 0:08:52Well, it's kind of that thing where people come up to you and they think
0:08:52 > 0:08:55they might know you, but I'm not one of those really well-known faces,
0:08:55 > 0:08:59so you have to come up with something and you come up with something sort of vaguely plausible.
0:08:59 > 0:09:02For example, "I'm the comedian Danny Wallace."
0:09:02 > 0:09:07But then it's quite awkward if they say, "I don't know what that means, to be honest."
0:09:07 > 0:09:11I have had different things in the past. Someone asked me if I was Danny Glover.
0:09:11 > 0:09:13That was quite awkward.
0:09:13 > 0:09:20That's true, yeah. And I had to say, "What, the black American film star of the Lethal Weapon series?"
0:09:20 > 0:09:23And they said, "Yes." And I went, "Yes, I am."
0:09:23 > 0:09:26- All I'm saying is, I get confused for other people.- Right.
0:09:26 > 0:09:29And sometimes it's nice to send them on their way thinking, "Oh, yeah, that is that guy."
0:09:29 > 0:09:33So which of the British cycling team do you pretend to be?
0:09:33 > 0:09:35I pretend to be Danny Wallace of the...
0:09:35 > 0:09:38Presumably, you must know a bit about cycling in order
0:09:38 > 0:09:40to bluff your way in case they say, "Oh, that's interesting.
0:09:40 > 0:09:42"What event do you do?"
0:09:42 > 0:09:45- He knows the basics, like it wouldn't work on the moon. - Yeah, exactly.
0:09:45 > 0:09:48Unlike some of us, Chris, yes.
0:09:48 > 0:09:52To be fair, Danny has got the haircut of a man who's just ridden on a bicycle.
0:09:52 > 0:09:58- Backwards through a hedge on the moon.- What if they ask you, "Do you shave your legs?"
0:09:58 > 0:10:03- It's never really gone that far. - From where you're sitting, can you see Chris's thighs?
0:10:03 > 0:10:06Cos from where I'm sitting, they are massive!
0:10:06 > 0:10:10Seriously, have you ever been able to put your legs together?
0:10:12 > 0:10:17I don't want to insult your legs, per se, Danny, it's just that if you
0:10:17 > 0:10:25are an Olympic champion cycling, then that is going to have some notable affect on your physique.
0:10:25 > 0:10:28Let's not forget, I'm not actually on the Olympic cycling team.
0:10:28 > 0:10:33So you can't really go, "Well, your legs aren't big enough for a start and also you don't shave them."
0:10:33 > 0:10:38- I think it's a lie. - I think it's a lie, because... - I think it's a lie.
0:10:38 > 0:10:41Yes. Why not just say who you are?!
0:10:41 > 0:10:44It just comes down to Danny's impish sense of fun.
0:10:44 > 0:10:50- I think we all think it's a lie. - You all think it's a lie, OK? ..So, Danny Wallace, truth or lie?
0:10:50 > 0:10:51It's a lie.
0:10:53 > 0:10:55Yes.
0:10:55 > 0:10:59As we suspected, it's a lie.
0:10:59 > 0:11:02I could have been part of the Olympic cycling team if it hadn't
0:11:02 > 0:11:07been for my lack of training, determination, fitness
0:11:07 > 0:11:08and bike.
0:11:10 > 0:11:15Our next round is called the Ring Of Truth, in which I read out some amazing celebrity facts and
0:11:15 > 0:11:21all our teams have to do is decide whether they're true or not. So, David's team, take a look at this.
0:11:21 > 0:11:24Can I have two people from the audience, please?
0:11:26 > 0:11:29I'm going to perform the world's greatest escape.
0:11:29 > 0:11:31Please check the bag.
0:11:31 > 0:11:33Check the bag to see if there's any trap doors.
0:11:43 > 0:11:46MUSIC PLAYS
0:12:26 > 0:12:30I have to say, if the British police want to crack down on knife crime,
0:12:30 > 0:12:32I think the first person they should search is Keith Chegwin.
0:12:32 > 0:12:36That's a good point, cos that doesn't look like a very dangerous trick,
0:12:36 > 0:12:41but that will have been during Keith's drinking phase. Coming at you with a pair of scissors.
0:12:41 > 0:12:45I think if anyone that drunk comes that close to me with a knife, I'd be glad to be in a bag.
0:12:47 > 0:12:50Here's the related fact then for David's team.
0:12:55 > 0:12:57LAUGHTER
0:12:57 > 0:13:02I think we all know that has got nothing to do with testicles or anything, so there's
0:13:02 > 0:13:07no need for people to be tittering away about that sort of thing.
0:13:07 > 0:13:10- I think this is true. - He wouldn't have the time on his hands to practise magic.
0:13:10 > 0:13:16- He's got such an important job. - This was in 1975, David.- All the things he's got to do in his day.
0:13:16 > 0:13:20He's got to talk about the buildings and make all the biscuits.
0:13:20 > 0:13:21And then...
0:13:21 > 0:13:23I suppose he'd probably find a bit of time.
0:13:23 > 0:13:28- I've met him twice and he said the same thing to me twice two years apart.- What did he say?
0:13:28 > 0:13:30He spent ages talking to somebody.
0:13:30 > 0:13:33It was a line-up thing, and he was talking to the person next to me for about 20 minutes.
0:13:33 > 0:13:39And he got to me and he went, "Erm, do you know him?"
0:13:39 > 0:13:44It's eminently possible. You know, he's got a lot of time to piss away.
0:13:46 > 0:13:51I mean, look at him. At least it keeps him off the sauce.
0:13:51 > 0:13:55You're saying it's true? Erm, well, let me surprise you by telling you that it is true.
0:13:58 > 0:14:03Prince Charles did become a member of the Magic Circle
0:14:03 > 0:14:05after auditioning with his cup and balls trick.
0:14:05 > 0:14:12In fact, Charles still practises magic and regularly makes his crown jewels disappear inside a horse box.
0:14:18 > 0:14:21I'm doing it with charm and a cheeky grin.
0:14:21 > 0:14:24Lee's team, take a look at this.
0:14:24 > 0:14:30The automatic public convenience, commonly known as a super-loo, plays music,
0:14:30 > 0:14:34is centrally heated and washes itself out after it's been used.
0:14:34 > 0:14:37Tramps try to use them for a night's sleep.
0:14:37 > 0:14:39Prostitutes use them for their business.
0:14:39 > 0:14:42They're in there for 15 minutes and then it's all over.
0:14:42 > 0:14:45The door opens automatically after 15 minutes.
0:14:45 > 0:14:47Homosexuals use them.
0:14:47 > 0:14:53People leave shopping bags in there, wallets, their briefcase.
0:14:53 > 0:14:55Anything at all. Anything you can think of carrying
0:14:55 > 0:14:59with you in the day, you'll usually find in the lavatory sooner or later.
0:15:03 > 0:15:06I know the Bee Gees haven't done much recently,
0:15:06 > 0:15:10but is Robin Gibb a toilet attendant?
0:15:10 > 0:15:13Here is the related fact then for Lee's team.
0:15:21 > 0:15:26It isn't just a loo. It is a proper, downstairs bathroom. There is a bath in there as well.
0:15:26 > 0:15:31Well, Gary Barlow strikes me as no-nonsense, salt of the earth, you know, common sense...
0:15:31 > 0:15:37I trust him. I trust Gary Barlow. He seems to be...in his pursuit for excellence with the noble ballad...
0:15:37 > 0:15:44putting lots of electrical equipment in a bathroom so that his loved ones risk their lives for his art.
0:15:44 > 0:15:47- I don't think Gary Barlow would do that.- Yeah...
0:15:47 > 0:15:51- Yes, it's a bit like having a toaster in the bathroom cos it's where you get peckish.- Yeah!
0:15:51 > 0:15:55Now that I would believe about Gary Barlow. Has anyone met Gary Barlow?
0:15:55 > 0:15:59I have. I met him when I did Top Of The Pops.
0:16:00 > 0:16:03He was very, very calm.
0:16:03 > 0:16:06He talks like Ringo Starr now.
0:16:06 > 0:16:10"Hello, I'm Gary Barlow."
0:16:10 > 0:16:13What do you reckon? Is it true?
0:16:13 > 0:16:17- What is your gut saying?- It said no. That it's a lie.- I'll go with that.
0:16:17 > 0:16:19- Your tummy tells you it's... - Yeah, lie.
0:16:19 > 0:16:21- My team say it's a lie. - You're saying it's a lie?
0:16:21 > 0:16:23- I am.- It's actually a lie.
0:16:27 > 0:16:29Gary's biggest number one was Back For Good.
0:16:29 > 0:16:35He's biggest number two was backstage at the Sheffield Arena after a prawn madras.
0:16:35 > 0:16:40Which means, at the end of that round, it's Lee's team in the lead by four points to two.
0:16:44 > 0:16:48Our next round is called This Is Mine,
0:16:48 > 0:16:52where we bring on a mystery guest who has a close connection to one of our panellists.
0:16:52 > 0:16:56This week, each of David's team will claim it's them that has the genuine connection to the guest.
0:16:56 > 0:17:00And it's up to Lee's team to spot who's telling the truth.
0:17:00 > 0:17:03So please welcome this week's special guest, Sylvan.
0:17:03 > 0:17:06APPLAUSE
0:17:12 > 0:17:14So, Ronni Ancona, what is Sylvan to you?
0:17:16 > 0:17:23This is Sylvan, and he designed a household robot that speaks with my voice.
0:17:23 > 0:17:26All right. Chris?
0:17:26 > 0:17:33This is Sylvan, and he is my masseur and he was also the guitarist in Simply Red.
0:17:33 > 0:17:35Right. All right. And finally, David.
0:17:35 > 0:17:42This is Sylvan, and he's my next-door neighbour, and I've promised I'd get him on TV...
0:17:44 > 0:17:49..after he complained about an all-night party in my flat.
0:17:51 > 0:17:53So there we have it.
0:17:53 > 0:17:59- Lee, where would you like to start? - Well, I sort of remember a bit about Simply Red.
0:17:59 > 0:18:00Do you remember him in Simply Red?
0:18:00 > 0:18:03Er, he was lot more ginger.
0:18:06 > 0:18:08Was he the guitar player, did you say?
0:18:08 > 0:18:11- The guitarist, yeah. - Lead guitar or bass guitar?
0:18:11 > 0:18:15I wasn't a big fan of Simply Red at the time. No offence to Sylvan.
0:18:15 > 0:18:20I'm just curious though how you go from being a really good guitarist to, I'm sure, a really good masseur.
0:18:20 > 0:18:23It is a really good point, Gabby, but you don't spend ten years of your life, you know...
0:18:23 > 0:18:25And it's high up, cos that's how they did it in Simply Red.
0:18:25 > 0:18:28They did all that. Maybe he did that playing the bass.
0:18:28 > 0:18:33He got his fingers against his muscles and he thought, "I'm quite good at this."
0:18:35 > 0:18:38"Anyone seen any cyclists. I've got an idea."
0:18:38 > 0:18:42David, on average,
0:18:42 > 0:18:46how often would you say you, David Mitchell,
0:18:46 > 0:18:50throw all-night parties?
0:18:50 > 0:18:54- Once every... - Just like a ballpark figure.
0:18:54 > 0:18:5614.7 years.
0:18:56 > 0:19:00So talk us through what happened. A knock on the door, I'm assuming.
0:19:00 > 0:19:05Knock on the door, and I hang onto the door, and Sylvan said,
0:19:05 > 0:19:11"Can you please make a bit less noise, I'm trying to sleep?" At which point I felt very guilty.
0:19:11 > 0:19:13I said, "Yes." We made a bit less noise.
0:19:13 > 0:19:19What were you celebrating? Your highest score at Scrabble? What was it all about?
0:19:19 > 0:19:22It was after an awards do.
0:19:22 > 0:19:29- And you just went, "Everyone back to mine"?- Not every... It's was about sort of eight people.
0:19:29 > 0:19:33- Eight?!- OK. What about Ronni?
0:19:33 > 0:19:37What do these robots look like and what will they do when eventually they are developed?
0:19:37 > 0:19:40To be honest, I actually haven't seen one.
0:19:40 > 0:19:44I was employed sort of as a voice-over artist.
0:19:44 > 0:19:48- Do it.- What, do the voice?- Mm. - Do the voice of the robot, yeah.
0:19:48 > 0:19:52- I recorded a whole load of stock phrases.- Give us some. Give us some stock phrases now.
0:19:52 > 0:19:54OK.
0:19:54 > 0:19:57- My task is complete.- OK.
0:19:57 > 0:20:01- What do you want me to do now? - Let's stay on that one.
0:20:01 > 0:20:06- Any others?- No, master, sexual acts are forbidden.
0:20:13 > 0:20:17When you say it, David, I feel like I've just been turned down by C-3PO.
0:20:17 > 0:20:21This is really, really plausible.
0:20:21 > 0:20:24It's certainly more plausible than David having an all-night party.
0:20:24 > 0:20:26- Yeah.- OK, are we going to make a decision?
0:20:26 > 0:20:28Can we just have a quick look at Sylvan's hands?
0:20:28 > 0:20:30- Those are his hands.- Ah.
0:20:30 > 0:20:35- They are nice...- Actually, that was a good clue, because if he hadn't have had any hands, that would have...
0:20:38 > 0:20:42The robot invention thing, but not David's, cos... Well, actually, he knocked on the door.
0:20:42 > 0:20:44Banged his head.
0:20:46 > 0:20:51- "Can you keep the noise down?" - I think Gabby's cracked it. A masseur needs good, strong hands.
0:20:51 > 0:20:54Bass player needs good, strong hands. I'm with Logan.
0:20:54 > 0:20:55- I think we're erring towards Chris then, aren't we?- Yeah.
0:20:55 > 0:20:57- What are you gonna say? - We'll go with Chris.
0:20:57 > 0:21:00OK, Sylvan, would you like to reveal your true identity?
0:21:00 > 0:21:05I am Chris Hoy's masseur
0:21:05 > 0:21:08- and I used to be in Simply Red.- Wow!
0:21:08 > 0:21:10APPLAUSE
0:21:12 > 0:21:15I have a little knot here. Could you just...?
0:21:15 > 0:21:19Just come and have a little go. Put some effort into it, man! Don't just lean over.
0:21:19 > 0:21:22God, David could have done that. ..Don't!
0:21:22 > 0:21:27- So thank you very much indeed. - Thanks.- Congratulations.
0:21:32 > 0:21:35Which brings us to our final round, Quick-Fire Lies,
0:21:35 > 0:21:38in which our panellists lie, not only through their teeth, but also against the clock.
0:21:38 > 0:21:43Now, David's team are currently behind, so they need to pull their finger out. Starting with...
0:21:43 > 0:21:45It's Lee.
0:21:47 > 0:21:53I can't eat custard creams, because they remind me of Spencer Whitfield who bullied me at school.
0:21:53 > 0:21:56- David?- What did Spencer Whitfield do to you?
0:21:56 > 0:22:04He pinned me down with his mates and he force-fed me custard creams.
0:22:04 > 0:22:09Why not just beat you up? Why did they want to feed you custard creams? Did you look thin?
0:22:11 > 0:22:15The kind of lessons we had, believe it or not, in secondary school...
0:22:15 > 0:22:19"Right, we'll go round the class and you've all got to tell us your favourite biscuit.
0:22:19 > 0:22:25- "One you like, one you hate." - What subject was this? - It was home economics and, er...
0:22:25 > 0:22:30- Did you do A Level home economics? - No, I didn't do A Levels, obviously. Look at me.
0:22:30 > 0:22:35What do you think the effect of A Levels on the face are?
0:22:35 > 0:22:41- See, I haven't got the scars of A Levels.- The type of school you went to, if you were a boy,
0:22:41 > 0:22:44you couldn't do home economics. You would have been doing woodwork.
0:22:44 > 0:22:47Yeah? No, I think you're mixing me up with the film Kes.
0:22:49 > 0:22:53Where it was a choice between kestrels and coal.
0:22:53 > 0:22:55I was allowed to choose home economics...
0:22:55 > 0:22:58Why did you choose that subject above kestrels or coal?
0:22:58 > 0:23:00Genuinely, I thought it was about money.
0:23:00 > 0:23:03I thought I'd learn how to use money in a sensible way.
0:23:03 > 0:23:08I got in there, and it was full of the kids that wanted to do cooking and needlecraft.
0:23:08 > 0:23:11Who were big bullies.
0:23:14 > 0:23:17APPLAUSE
0:23:17 > 0:23:20- So, David, what are you going to say?- I don't think it's true really.
0:23:20 > 0:23:25- No.- You're pretty set on... - We're saying it's a lie. - On it being a lie? OK, fair enough.
0:23:25 > 0:23:27Erm, Lee, is it true or is it a lie?
0:23:27 > 0:23:29It's a lie.
0:23:30 > 0:23:33- All right.- Next.
0:23:33 > 0:23:34David.
0:23:36 > 0:23:41The only concert I have ever been to was by Shirley Bassey.
0:23:42 > 0:23:46- And where was that? - It was at the bit of Wembley that's not a football stadium,
0:23:46 > 0:23:50- but is, nevertheless, a very large room.- The tube station?
0:23:50 > 0:23:55- No, I think the Arena. - The Arena? And who did you go with?
0:23:55 > 0:23:57I went with a friend of mine
0:23:57 > 0:23:59called John.
0:23:59 > 0:24:02And what period was this?
0:24:02 > 0:24:04It was the 18th century.
0:24:06 > 0:24:09I think about seven or eight years ago.
0:24:09 > 0:24:10Was she surprisingly good?
0:24:10 > 0:24:12She was pretty good.
0:24:12 > 0:24:15She was incredibly loud.
0:24:15 > 0:24:18- You don't expect that, do you, at a concert?- Can you remember any of the songs she sang?
0:24:18 > 0:24:23I think she sung...I think she sung all the...like Goldfinger...
0:24:23 > 0:24:25She definitely sung Diamonds Are Forever as well.
0:24:25 > 0:24:28I can't help thinking you know nothing about Shirley Bassey,
0:24:28 > 0:24:30but you've watched a lot of James Bond films.
0:24:30 > 0:24:33I can't believe that you've never been to a classical concert.
0:24:33 > 0:24:35OK.
0:24:38 > 0:24:40So what do you think, Lee? It's a curious one.
0:24:40 > 0:24:45Well, I don't know. I can believe... David doesn't strike me as the type of person that...
0:24:45 > 0:24:48- Would go to loads of gigs. - Yeah. So it is possible that he's not been to a concert before.
0:24:48 > 0:24:51- It's a lie.- Yeah. - What do you think, Gabby?
0:24:51 > 0:24:53He's very clever though, isn't he?
0:24:53 > 0:24:55Well, he's not THAT clever. I mean...
0:24:55 > 0:25:00It's all a facade. I'M actually the clever one. This is an act.
0:25:00 > 0:25:02When we go backstage, I'm like, "David, marvellous performance,"
0:25:02 > 0:25:05and he's like, "Ah, they fell for it again."
0:25:06 > 0:25:09- So we're saying...? - I think, like you...
0:25:09 > 0:25:11Aha...
0:25:11 > 0:25:16- It's a lie. - Well, my team say it's a lie, so we'll say that is indeed a lie.
0:25:16 > 0:25:18You're saying it's a lie. ..OK, David, is it true?
0:25:18 > 0:25:19It is true.
0:25:23 > 0:25:25APPLAUSE
0:25:25 > 0:25:26Next.
0:25:26 > 0:25:28It's...Gabby.
0:25:28 > 0:25:29I have a possession.
0:25:29 > 0:25:33Ah, right, then take out the box underneath.
0:25:33 > 0:25:36That's it. Pop it on the desk.
0:25:36 > 0:25:40These are some of the birthday cards that I've posted to my pets.
0:25:40 > 0:25:42OK.
0:25:42 > 0:25:45Without looking at the cards, can you tell us who the pets are?
0:25:45 > 0:25:48These are all sent to Sidney.
0:25:48 > 0:25:50No, hang on a second. That's to Jodie.
0:25:50 > 0:25:53- Who is Sidney?- Sidney's the dog.
0:25:53 > 0:25:54Right. Jodie...?
0:25:54 > 0:25:58Jodie Marsh, lives in basket under her bed.
0:25:58 > 0:26:01- Jodie's a rabbit. - Have you always had pets?
0:26:01 > 0:26:03Ever since I was a small child.
0:26:03 > 0:26:06My mum actually ran over a cat once.
0:26:06 > 0:26:09So we weren't allowed cats after that, but my...
0:26:10 > 0:26:15Was she afraid that the cat community would take their revenge?
0:26:15 > 0:26:17- Can we have a look at the cards? - No, you can't! No, no, no.
0:26:17 > 0:26:20You can look at them if you want to.
0:26:20 > 0:26:24- Chris, would you get them so we can all enjoy your thighs?- Thank you.
0:26:24 > 0:26:28- Walk across the stage.- You can't read them...- Look at the thighs.
0:26:28 > 0:26:31- You can take them...- No, you can't! - Yes, he can.- No, you can't!
0:26:31 > 0:26:34Touch those cards and you'll be cycling on the other side of your face.
0:26:34 > 0:26:36The rules of the game say you can't.
0:26:36 > 0:26:41If you think that's going to stop me, you are so mistaken.
0:26:41 > 0:26:43- Give 'em over. Hand 'em over. - Gabby, hold onto your principles.
0:26:43 > 0:26:46- I can't find them!- Cards now.
0:26:47 > 0:26:51Thank you. Now, it's a shame we had to do that, wasn't it?
0:26:54 > 0:26:58We might as well now we've... Well, this one is to Michael.
0:27:00 > 0:27:02Is that a pet name for Jodie or Sidney?
0:27:02 > 0:27:07I don't know. Sort of in a way it's less trivial than the pet's own name.
0:27:07 > 0:27:10- This is to Sherbert. - Why is this one to Sherbert?
0:27:10 > 0:27:18Because Sidney's real pedigree name is Sherbert Arundi Grungefeld.
0:27:19 > 0:27:23- Really? Why didn't you mention that? - Sherbert Arundi...
0:27:23 > 0:27:26- Grungefeld. - That's his official name?
0:27:26 > 0:27:31Sidney is a nickname and in an official birthday card you use a shortening of the official name?
0:27:31 > 0:27:34No...
0:27:34 > 0:27:36Who's Michael?
0:27:38 > 0:27:39Michael...
0:27:39 > 0:27:41OK, look...
0:27:41 > 0:27:46No, Jodie the rabbit does this dance where she goes, "Ooh!"
0:27:46 > 0:27:49And we said, "She's looks like Michael Jackson."
0:27:49 > 0:27:52LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:27:54 > 0:27:56What are you going to say?
0:27:56 > 0:27:58It's a difficult one.
0:27:58 > 0:27:59I just...
0:27:59 > 0:28:02It's got to be a lie. Surely.
0:28:02 > 0:28:05- Sorry, we've got to go for a lie. - You're saying lie.- Yes.- OK.
0:28:05 > 0:28:09Gabby, were you telling the truth or were you telling us a lie?
0:28:09 > 0:28:11I was telling...
0:28:11 > 0:28:14a lie.
0:28:14 > 0:28:15APPLAUSE
0:28:17 > 0:28:18BUZZER
0:28:18 > 0:28:20Oh, and that noise signals time's up.
0:28:20 > 0:28:22It's the end of the show, and I can reveal that David's team have five
0:28:22 > 0:28:26points and Lee's team have five points. It's a draw!
0:28:26 > 0:28:30APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:28:30 > 0:28:32But it's not just a team game.
0:28:32 > 0:28:37My individual liar of the week this week is...Gabby Logan.
0:28:39 > 0:28:43An incredible result for Gabby, whose eighth place in the rhythmic gymnastics
0:28:43 > 0:28:48at the 1990 Auckland Commonwealth Games suddenly pales into insignificance.
0:28:48 > 0:28:49Good night!
0:28:55 > 0:28:58Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:28:58 > 0:29:01E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk