0:00:22 > 0:00:25CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:00:26 > 0:00:31Good evening and welcome along to Would I Lie To You,
0:00:31 > 0:00:34the show all about lies and lying.
0:00:34 > 0:00:40On David Mitchell's team tonight, we have a judge from Strictly Come Dancing who is known as Mr Marmite.
0:00:40 > 0:00:42You either love him or hate him.
0:00:42 > 0:00:46Plus, he's the colour of mahogany and smells of yeast!
0:00:46 > 0:00:49- It's Craig Revel Horwood! - APPLAUSE
0:00:49 > 0:00:56And a presenter who found himself at the South Pole suffering from frostbite and hypothermia.
0:00:56 > 0:00:59Two words - sat nav!
0:00:59 > 0:01:03- It's Ben Fogle! - APPLAUSE
0:01:04 > 0:01:09And on Lee's team, one of the stars of the sitcom Outnumbered
0:01:09 > 0:01:14where he plays the father to those kids who were really cute in Series One and Two.
0:01:14 > 0:01:18- It's Hugh Dennis! - APPLAUSE Thank you.
0:01:18 > 0:01:25And a woman I spent so many years waking up with that I find it hard to believe I never saw her on telly.
0:01:25 > 0:01:27- It's Kate Silverton! - APPLAUSE
0:01:30 > 0:01:36It's Round 1, Home Truths, where our panellists each read out a statement from the card in front of them.
0:01:36 > 0:01:42To make things harder, they've never seen the card before, so have no idea what they'll be faced with.
0:01:42 > 0:01:47It's up to the opposing team to sort the truth from the lies. Hugh is first.
0:01:47 > 0:01:51For superstitious reasons, I have to touch the tip of my nose
0:01:51 > 0:01:53whenever I say the word "France".
0:01:55 > 0:01:59- David's team? - Have you ever been to France?
0:01:59 > 0:02:02Yes, I have been to France.
0:02:04 > 0:02:09It's a weird thing, but I have to do it and I've done it since childhood.
0:02:09 > 0:02:14- What sparked that off? - Well, because when I was very little, I was quite scared.
0:02:14 > 0:02:19I was a very worried child and the thing I was really worried about
0:02:19 > 0:02:21more than anything else was rabies.
0:02:21 > 0:02:23HE LAUGHS
0:02:23 > 0:02:26A little nervous chuckle after "rabies" there.
0:02:26 > 0:02:31- I was terribly worried about rabies. - HE FAKES LAUGH
0:02:31 > 0:02:37- Anyway...- And you forget that England is this incredibly safe country where we don't have anything,
0:02:37 > 0:02:40but when you go to France... Ah!
0:02:40 > 0:02:42LAUGHTER
0:02:43 > 0:02:47I don't have to do it immediately. When you go to France...
0:02:47 > 0:02:52Is it all right to catch up at the end of the day? You keep a score.
0:02:54 > 0:02:57The point is... APPLAUSE
0:03:00 > 0:03:06When I was a child, because I was so scared of rabies and we used to go to France quite often,
0:03:06 > 0:03:10I thought that it would kind of ward off rabid dogs.
0:03:10 > 0:03:13It's one of those sort of weird childhood things.
0:03:13 > 0:03:17- How did you learn about rabies as a child?- The hard way.
0:03:17 > 0:03:20LAUGHTER
0:03:20 > 0:03:25I've learnt a lot about rabies or as the French... If I say "French", I don't have to do it.
0:03:25 > 0:03:31If I say "France", I do have to do it. But what the French call "la rage", which is rabies...
0:03:31 > 0:03:36I genuinely thought it would give me good luck because I'm slightly superstitious.
0:03:36 > 0:03:41- What do you think? Truth or lie? - Well, it's possible, but unlikely.
0:03:41 > 0:03:47- I think when you said "France" and forgot to touch your nose...- That's because I'm an adult and I don't...
0:03:47 > 0:03:53I don't think it's plausible at all. It sounds ludicrous and I can't imagine anybody wanting to do it.
0:03:53 > 0:03:59We're not going to ask you to mark him. We're not going to ask you to hold up a number.
0:03:59 > 0:04:01- Lie.- You think a lie.
0:04:01 > 0:04:06- I think it's a lie. - You say it's a lie.- Yes. - Hugh, was that the truth or a lie?
0:04:06 > 0:04:09I was telling...
0:04:09 > 0:04:12a lie. APPLAUSE
0:04:13 > 0:04:16- That was good, though. - Yes, it was a lie.
0:04:16 > 0:04:21Hugh does not have to touch the tip of his nose whenever he says the word "France".
0:04:21 > 0:04:25- Ben Fogle, you're next.- OK...
0:04:27 > 0:04:30OK. Do I read it now?
0:04:30 > 0:04:34Ideally. In an ideal world, you'd read it out loud.
0:04:35 > 0:04:41I was interrogated for six hours on suspicion of being a spy.
0:04:41 > 0:04:43- Lee?- Wow! Where?
0:04:43 > 0:04:48- Where?- Where?- Sorry, it's the accent. Can you interpret for me?
0:04:48 > 0:04:51- Where...? - For the posh man in the corner.
0:04:51 > 0:04:55POSH VOICE: Where were you interrogated?
0:04:55 > 0:05:00So, it was an island in the Pacific called Pitcairn.
0:05:00 > 0:05:02- Called what?- Pitcairn.
0:05:02 > 0:05:05What were you doing there?
0:05:05 > 0:05:09I was doing some research about remote communities, remote islands.
0:05:09 > 0:05:15And I arrived and they thought I looked very dodgy and that I must be a spy.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18And just one extra twist to this
0:05:18 > 0:05:23is that they also accused me of trying to illegally smuggle plants.
0:05:23 > 0:05:26- What kind of plants? - Breadfruit plants.
0:05:26 > 0:05:30Breadfruit plants? Are you just making up words tonight?
0:05:30 > 0:05:34Has anyone tried breadfruit? Horrid. It smells like old socks.
0:05:34 > 0:05:40- It tastes neither like bread nor fruit.- Am I the only one that's not heard of the breadfruit plant?
0:05:40 > 0:05:45- I've heard of it. - I'm the only one who's not heard of it in the whole world.
0:05:45 > 0:05:49- Have you all heard of the breadfruit plant? - ALL: Yes!
0:05:49 > 0:05:52What did they actually do to you?
0:05:52 > 0:05:57What's quite interesting... There's only, I think, 36 inhabitants on this island.
0:05:57 > 0:06:03They were very suspicious because no-one had been on the island for about 18 months.
0:06:03 > 0:06:10- You say they didn't know why you were there. Don't these people watch Countryfile?- I know. No telly.
0:06:10 > 0:06:12So what actually happened then?
0:06:12 > 0:06:18I got interrogated for six hours, got accused of being a spy and smuggling this plant in.
0:06:18 > 0:06:24They found me guilty and I was deported and had a five-week journey back to Polynesia, then to England.
0:06:24 > 0:06:28- This was for a TV programme? - No, I was out there on my own.
0:06:28 > 0:06:32- Just researching into breadfruit? - For a book I was going to write.
0:06:32 > 0:06:35Is he telling the truth? It sounds fantastic.
0:06:35 > 0:06:40I know that he did the journey because I've seen the book.
0:06:40 > 0:06:44- I don't know if he's using the true story...- And then adding a bit on.
0:06:44 > 0:06:48If yours was, "I read the news naked from the waist down,"
0:06:48 > 0:06:52it would be true that you read the news, but you've added a bit on.
0:06:52 > 0:06:55Or taken a bit off! LAUGHTER
0:06:57 > 0:07:00- It's semi-true.- It's a semi, yeah. - It's a semi. Definitely is!
0:07:03 > 0:07:10- So, back to the interrogation.- Yeah. - Is it just me or is there a bit of a frisson now between Lee and Kate?
0:07:10 > 0:07:13I'm having a hot flush.
0:07:13 > 0:07:16Imagine what Lee's having!
0:07:18 > 0:07:21I think probably it's a bit of an add-on.
0:07:21 > 0:07:24- It's not true?- I don't think so.
0:07:24 > 0:07:28- I'm going to stick with that as well. - My team says "not true".
0:07:28 > 0:07:33OK, so, Ben, were you telling the truth or were you telling a lie?
0:07:33 > 0:07:35I was telling...
0:07:35 > 0:07:37- the truth.- Oh, no!
0:07:37 > 0:07:40APPLAUSE
0:07:41 > 0:07:44- I'm so sorry.- It is all true.
0:07:44 > 0:07:49Ben was suspected of being a spy. With his love of the countryside,
0:07:49 > 0:07:54passion for cycling and fascination with squirrels, he's like a real-life James Bond!
0:07:54 > 0:07:56Kate Silverton, you're next.
0:07:56 > 0:07:58Right...
0:07:58 > 0:08:05I once read an entire news bulletin with one foot in a bucket of iced water.
0:08:06 > 0:08:11- David?- Right, I'm assuming some sort of injury.- Yes.
0:08:11 > 0:08:14I had sprained my ankle.
0:08:14 > 0:08:18By, what, reading a difficult sentence?
0:08:19 > 0:08:23I had raced in a triathlon the day before
0:08:23 > 0:08:26and I had come a bit of a cropper,
0:08:26 > 0:08:30so the next day, it was none too... It was very, very swollen.
0:08:30 > 0:08:34We tried putting it up, but that didn't look that good.
0:08:34 > 0:08:38- On the news, it would look bad. - It looks too casual, doesn't it?
0:08:38 > 0:08:43We came up with a cunning plan to have a bucket of ice. I was in such pain.
0:08:43 > 0:08:47It's very odd that you didn't have someone that could do it for you.
0:08:47 > 0:08:51You're allowed to take sick leave, surely, on an injury?
0:08:51 > 0:08:54Not when you're freelance.
0:08:54 > 0:08:59No, because I went in... I wanted to work. If I don't work, then I don't get paid.
0:08:59 > 0:09:02Someone else gets in there.
0:09:02 > 0:09:04- Yeah.- That bloody Huw Edwards!
0:09:05 > 0:09:08He'd have been in like a shot.
0:09:08 > 0:09:11"Terrible news. Kate's sprained her ankle."
0:09:13 > 0:09:17Finally, an impression with the right accent for you!
0:09:17 > 0:09:19LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:09:19 > 0:09:22Well...
0:09:22 > 0:09:26I don't know, I just... You know, I totally believe that.
0:09:26 > 0:09:28I don't, the freelance thing.
0:09:28 > 0:09:33- What do you mean? - Why can't she be freelance? - They're like a couple now!
0:09:33 > 0:09:38- He's sticking up for me.- Shut up! I'll deal with this, love.
0:09:38 > 0:09:40Were you so desperate for the money?
0:09:40 > 0:09:46It was a three-hour stint on a Sunday morning. It's very difficult to get somebody else to cover.
0:09:46 > 0:09:49- When did you do the injury? - On the Saturday.
0:09:49 > 0:09:53- At what time? - In the afternoon. 3 o'clock race.
0:09:53 > 0:09:57- What part of the race was it? - The running bit.
0:09:57 > 0:10:03- Where did you come in the race? - Good Lord, it's like a slightly camp Inspector Morse!
0:10:03 > 0:10:06Please take your guess. Is she telling the truth?
0:10:06 > 0:10:09Yes.
0:10:09 > 0:10:11Would you like to consult with your team?
0:10:11 > 0:10:14- What do you think? - I think it's probably true.
0:10:14 > 0:10:19- What do you think?- I think it's true, but...- Truth! It's true!
0:10:19 > 0:10:22They say it's true. Kate Silverton, truth or lie?
0:10:22 > 0:10:24It is a lie.
0:10:24 > 0:10:27APPLAUSE
0:10:27 > 0:10:29That was a good double bluff.
0:10:29 > 0:10:37It's a lie. Kate did not read an entire news bulletin with one foot in a bucket of iced water.
0:10:37 > 0:10:42Being a newsreader is simply reading words from an autocue. Any idiot can do that.
0:10:42 > 0:10:46Smile, pause for laughter, encourage applause...
0:10:46 > 0:10:50Nice stupid face at the end - I like that!
0:10:52 > 0:10:57The next round is The Ring Of Truth in which I read out an amazing celebrity fact
0:10:57 > 0:11:01and all our teams have to do is decide whether it's true or not.
0:11:01 > 0:11:03Both teams, take a look at this.
0:11:03 > 0:11:06'You don't have to be from London to do rap.
0:11:06 > 0:11:11'It's important wherever you are to do it. It makes the scene massive.'
0:11:11 > 0:11:13THUMPING MUSIC
0:11:13 > 0:11:15# You sit in your armchair with your control
0:11:15 > 0:11:18# For another channel would you sell your soul?
0:11:18 > 0:11:22# Watch the box all day and night Buy your own dish or satellite... #
0:11:22 > 0:11:26'You select your subject you want to write about by watching television
0:11:26 > 0:11:31'and if something grabs your attention and you want to release anger about that,
0:11:31 > 0:11:33'you just write it down in a rap.'
0:11:33 > 0:11:36# I just don't agree with Sky TV... #
0:11:37 > 0:11:39APPLAUSE
0:11:41 > 0:11:44OK, here's the related fact for both teams.
0:11:49 > 0:11:51Is that true?
0:11:51 > 0:11:55He's famously quite glum and dour, isn't he?
0:11:55 > 0:11:59- Scottish.- I'm not saying that all Scots are glum and dour, but he is.
0:11:59 > 0:12:03The record was called Autograph and it sold just 200 copies,
0:12:03 > 0:12:07coming nowhere near the 1,000 sales required to make it into the charts
0:12:07 > 0:12:11and it came out in November 2009.
0:12:11 > 0:12:16If he had any sense, he would have bought 1,000 copies himself.
0:12:16 > 0:12:22So rigging results then, Craig, is fine in your book, says Strictly Come Dancing judge?
0:12:22 > 0:12:25LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:12:25 > 0:12:27Well...
0:12:30 > 0:12:34- Do you know the rap, Rob? - I've got some lines here.
0:12:34 > 0:12:37- SCOTTISH ACCENT: - # During Wimbledon it gets really crazy
0:12:37 > 0:12:39# My hand cramps up and my mind gets hazy
0:12:39 > 0:12:45# I sign and sign but the line doesnae end, wake me up tomorrow, let's do it again... Autograph! #
0:12:46 > 0:12:49APPLAUSE
0:12:50 > 0:12:54- My instinct is it's not true.- Surely he's focusing on tennis.- Exactly.
0:12:54 > 0:12:57I don't think it's true. I think it's true.
0:12:57 > 0:13:00- Do you?- I don't think it's true.
0:13:00 > 0:13:03And the deciding vote, we're going to say it's a lie.
0:13:03 > 0:13:07You're saying it's a lie, OK. Lee?
0:13:07 > 0:13:11While you were talking before, Kate whispered something into my ear.
0:13:11 > 0:13:18It's got nothing to do with this, but I said, "Hold that thought until after they've said their piece."
0:13:18 > 0:13:23As a reporter, I think this is true because I seem to remember talking about it.
0:13:23 > 0:13:27It's quite handy having a newsreader on my side!
0:13:27 > 0:13:31There we are. Lee's team say it's true, David's team say it's a lie.
0:13:31 > 0:13:37- Well, this will shock you...- I wish we hadn't! I bitterly regret that.
0:13:37 > 0:13:41- This will shock you as I tell you it's true.- Well done.
0:13:41 > 0:13:43- We were so close(!)- Yeah.
0:13:44 > 0:13:52Yes, Andy Murray did release a rap single that sold just 200 copies and failed to chart. We've got it here.
0:13:52 > 0:13:55# During Wimbledon, it really gets crazy
0:13:55 > 0:13:57# My hand cramps up and my mind gets hazy
0:13:57 > 0:14:00# I sign and sign but the line doesn't end
0:14:00 > 0:14:03# Wake me up tomorrow, let's do it again
0:14:03 > 0:14:06# Autograph
0:14:06 > 0:14:08# Autograph
0:14:08 > 0:14:09# Autograph... #
0:14:09 > 0:14:15- Craig, you were laying down some phat beats there.- Thank you, darling.- P-H-A-T, of course.
0:14:15 > 0:14:19- Well, it's not my genre. - No, that came across.
0:14:20 > 0:14:25At the end of that round, David's team have 2, but Lee's team have 2!
0:14:27 > 0:14:34And so to our next round, This is My..., where our mystery guest has a connection to a panellist.
0:14:34 > 0:14:40This week, each of David's team will claim it's them who has the genuine connection to the guest.
0:14:40 > 0:14:45Lee's team must spot who is telling the truth. So please welcome Mike!
0:14:52 > 0:14:55LAUGHTER
0:14:55 > 0:14:57I'm as shocked as you.
0:14:57 > 0:15:00He's definitely with David.
0:15:03 > 0:15:06Ben Fogle, what is Mike to you?
0:15:06 > 0:15:10This is Mike and I met him in a pub
0:15:10 > 0:15:14and got so drunk that Mike here gave me a tattoo.
0:15:14 > 0:15:18All right. David, how do you know Mike?
0:15:18 > 0:15:23This is Mike and we once started a detective agency together.
0:15:23 > 0:15:25LAUGHTER
0:15:25 > 0:15:30- In the...- Really? Is that right? - In my garden shed.
0:15:30 > 0:15:34- And finally Craig. - This is Mike
0:15:34 > 0:15:39and he beat me in a Moustache Wearer of the Year competition.
0:15:41 > 0:15:46There we have it. Ben's impromptu tattooist, David's private eye
0:15:46 > 0:15:51- or Craig's moustache wearer. Lee's team?- When did you have a moustache?
0:15:51 > 0:15:56During a show that I did called Spend, Spend, Spend,
0:15:56 > 0:15:59which was in 1999. I was the choreographer.
0:15:59 > 0:16:04Why did you enter it? With my friend Clifford.
0:16:04 > 0:16:07Was he an enormous dog? LAUGHTER
0:16:08 > 0:16:09No...
0:16:10 > 0:16:16He had a moustache. I had a full beard and I shaved my beard off.
0:16:16 > 0:16:19Where was the competition? In Finsbury Park.
0:16:19 > 0:16:25- Just in the park? - Not a competition. Just a lot of men with moustaches in the park.
0:16:25 > 0:16:29Now I believe it.
0:16:29 > 0:16:33If there were loads of men, why did you make friends with the winner?
0:16:33 > 0:16:37Unless you fancied his moustache.
0:16:37 > 0:16:41Well, it was a long time ago and he was a bit cuter then!
0:16:41 > 0:16:43LAUGHTER
0:16:46 > 0:16:50You should just go... # Go Compare! #
0:16:50 > 0:16:53Look, do you want to...?
0:16:53 > 0:16:57- Let's just thrill the world, darling.- I'll do it for you.
0:16:57 > 0:17:01- Oh!- Oh, hello! Now I think he can carry that off.
0:17:01 > 0:17:04Yeah, I'm liking it.
0:17:04 > 0:17:09Were you hoping to get into an episode of Poirot?
0:17:09 > 0:17:15No, we did it as a laugh. We were slaughtered one night and did it as a joke, really.
0:17:15 > 0:17:18David, just remind us again.
0:17:18 > 0:17:24- We set up a detective agency in my garden shed.- As children? - Yes, as children.
0:17:24 > 0:17:30- How old were you at the time? - I was, I think, 10. - And he was the same age?
0:17:30 > 0:17:35- No, he was 13, I think.- A bit of an age gap, I would have thought.
0:17:35 > 0:17:42- 13-year-old men with moustaches hanging around 10-year-old boys. - Did you say 13-year-old men?
0:17:42 > 0:17:45They're men as far as I'm concerned!
0:17:45 > 0:17:50What sort of cases were you taking on? What would be a typical case?
0:17:50 > 0:17:52Em, well...we...
0:17:52 > 0:17:55We followed a guy.
0:17:55 > 0:17:58- LAUGHTER - Who was it you were following?
0:17:58 > 0:18:00It was...
0:18:00 > 0:18:04A bloke... A bloke who lived a few doors down.
0:18:04 > 0:18:11- He had a sports car. - Oh, that sounds nice, darling. - I considered him suspicious.
0:18:11 > 0:18:16- What did you suspect him of?- I don't know. It was a sort of seedy car.
0:18:16 > 0:18:21And there were lots of cigarette ends in the ashtray.
0:18:21 > 0:18:23- Guilty as sin!- Hang the bastard!
0:18:23 > 0:18:30- Were you dressed like this? - Yes, was he as good at blending into the background as he is now?
0:18:30 > 0:18:34Every time you look round, he's stood still going...
0:18:36 > 0:18:41- And what does he do now?- I believe he works in IT.- You believe?
0:18:41 > 0:18:45Would you like to move on to Mr Fogle?
0:18:45 > 0:18:49The idea of Ben with a tattoo... Let's see it.
0:18:49 > 0:18:54- No, I'm not going to show it. It's on my shoulder.- Why not show us?
0:18:54 > 0:19:01- I'm a bit embarrassed about it. I was really drunk. - Embarrassed? What is it?
0:19:01 > 0:19:04It's either a star or a compass.
0:19:04 > 0:19:07So he's a shit tattooist?
0:19:07 > 0:19:15No, I bumped into him and got very drunk, in the middle of winter, no one else there except Mike.
0:19:15 > 0:19:21- And he had his tools with him? - No, I think we left the pub and went somewhere.
0:19:21 > 0:19:23Not entirely sure where.
0:19:23 > 0:19:30You were so drunk that this man, who you'd never met and, God bless you, looks a bit eccentric,
0:19:30 > 0:19:36he said, "In my bag I've got some needles and ink. Do you want to come back to mine?"
0:19:36 > 0:19:42And you said, "Yes, that sounds like my cup of tea. I'm off my face."
0:19:43 > 0:19:45OK, we need an answer.
0:19:45 > 0:19:53Is Mike Ben's bar room tattooist, David's fellow detective or Craig's moustache champion?
0:19:53 > 0:19:56Well, I think it's Ben.
0:19:56 > 0:20:03I'd love it to be Craig, I kind of think it's David, but it could be Ben. Sorry!
0:20:03 > 0:20:08- I think it might be David, so David.- You're saying David?
0:20:08 > 0:20:12So, Mike, would you please reveal your true identity?
0:20:12 > 0:20:18My name is Mike and one drunken night I tattooed Ben.
0:20:21 > 0:20:27- I should say he is a very good tattoo artist.- So let's have a look. - You want to see it?- I really do.
0:20:29 > 0:20:34- That's a tattoo.- Is it a compass? - It's a nautical star.
0:20:34 > 0:20:36Thank you very much, Mike.
0:20:40 > 0:20:46Which brings us to our final round of quick fire lies, lying against the clock.
0:20:46 > 0:20:48We'll start with...
0:20:48 > 0:20:56- Lee.- When I was six, I was thrown out of ballroom dancing lessons.
0:20:56 > 0:20:59- David's team.- Right. I'll take this.
0:20:59 > 0:21:02LAUGHTER
0:21:02 > 0:21:05Never say that to Craig!
0:21:11 > 0:21:16You were six? What had you done in the ballroom dancing?
0:21:16 > 0:21:20I...I broke... I broke a piece of equipment.
0:21:20 > 0:21:23What equipment can you break?!
0:21:23 > 0:21:27I broke...the machine that plays the music. The tape machine. What?!
0:21:27 > 0:21:35The machine that plays the music! The musictron! The friendly robot that plays the piano. I broke it.
0:21:35 > 0:21:39- What dance were you doing? - I can't remember, if truth be known.
0:21:39 > 0:21:44- So you can't do it now? - You're absolutely right, Ben.
0:21:44 > 0:21:51You said you couldn't do it, but we've got...a dancer. He can hold your hand.
0:21:51 > 0:21:56All right. I'll show you how it went.
0:21:56 > 0:22:00I'll say this really slowly, so listen. I think I better lead.
0:22:00 > 0:22:03- LAUGHTER - Now...
0:22:03 > 0:22:08It's arm up like this. And... Arm on the shoulder. You're the lady.
0:22:08 > 0:22:12And I sort of turned and said, "What's that machine?"
0:22:12 > 0:22:19- LAUGHTER - And I broke the machine! That's roughly how it happened.
0:22:19 > 0:22:23- Well, I... - If that's not evidence!
0:22:23 > 0:22:26What do you say - truth or lie?
0:22:26 > 0:22:31I think it's an unusual choice for a six-year-old, but it's obviously...
0:22:31 > 0:22:38It was big in the '70s because of Come Dancing. It was a big show before it was bastardised!
0:22:40 > 0:22:44- What do you say? - Difficult one, but a lie.
0:22:44 > 0:22:47OK. Lee, truth or lie?
0:22:47 > 0:22:49It is, in fact, true.
0:22:54 > 0:22:58It's true. When Lee was six, he was thrown out of ballroom dancing.
0:22:58 > 0:23:06Even so, he spent the next few years locked away in his bedroom perfecting the hand jive. Next...
0:23:08 > 0:23:10David.
0:23:12 > 0:23:19I have such a terrible singing voice that one year my teacher told me to mime at our school carol concert.
0:23:20 > 0:23:24- What was the song? - What was the song?
0:23:24 > 0:23:26I don't know. I wasn't there.
0:23:26 > 0:23:33- It was... It was a range... of Christmas carols. - There's a few you were bad at?
0:23:33 > 0:23:39- You were bad, full stop? - Oh, no, you're right, Lee. I sung some of them like an angel.
0:23:39 > 0:23:43O Come All Ye Faithful I'd just scream the word, "Shit!"
0:23:46 > 0:23:51So did she say this in front of everybody?
0:23:51 > 0:23:53No. No.
0:23:53 > 0:23:58I was...I was sort of... taken aside and said,
0:23:58 > 0:24:02"You're finding this a bit difficult, aren't you?
0:24:02 > 0:24:07- "And it's putting some of the other boys off."- So...
0:24:07 > 0:24:13- Truth or lie? Time to decide. - It's too obvious and easy. - No, you're thinking of me.
0:24:15 > 0:24:18It's a lie. I think it could be a lie.
0:24:18 > 0:24:23The team says lie. We'll go with lie, yeah.
0:24:23 > 0:24:24David - truth or lie?
0:24:24 > 0:24:27It is a lie.
0:24:30 > 0:24:36It's a lie! David was not told to mime because he has such a terrible singing voice.
0:24:36 > 0:24:41David's never been asked to keep quiet at school. Well, once,
0:24:41 > 0:24:47but out of respect for the gym teacher's career we won't go into that.
0:24:48 > 0:24:51Next... Oh, me!
0:24:51 > 0:24:57I always throw the first and last biscuit in a packet away without eating them.
0:24:57 > 0:25:02- Why?- It started because the one at the top is crumbly.
0:25:02 > 0:25:06Often it's got crushed. And I can't explain the bottom one.
0:25:08 > 0:25:12You throw the bottom one away before you start eating them?
0:25:12 > 0:25:19Here's the packet of biscuits. Take the top off with the little bit of stringy wrapping...
0:25:19 > 0:25:23- Which reveals two or three. - In a quite satisfying motion.
0:25:23 > 0:25:28- The third one is normally relatively unscathed.- Which biscuits?
0:25:28 > 0:25:31- Let me talk! - LAUGHTER
0:25:31 > 0:25:36Suddenly I'm on Bill Turnbull's side. I take them out.
0:25:36 > 0:25:41- The top biscuit is often damaged. I discard it.- What? Throw it away?
0:25:41 > 0:25:45- In the bin.- Wasted!- Or for the dog. I'll put it on the floor.
0:25:45 > 0:25:50- Then at the bottom... - Have you got a dog?- Yes, I have.
0:25:50 > 0:25:57- He's not going to say no now! He's quite good at it. - I've got a black lab.- Very good.
0:25:57 > 0:26:00Where you do black experiments.
0:26:00 > 0:26:02LAUGHTER
0:26:02 > 0:26:08I then take the biscuits to put them into the clear, Perspex, Kilner jar or whatever it's called.
0:26:08 > 0:26:16If you're worried about biscuits getting crushed and crumbly, why put them in a biscuit jar?
0:26:16 > 0:26:22- That's the safest place. - No, it's not. A packet is like a car park for biscuits.
0:26:22 > 0:26:28It's all perfectly... Isn't it? Put them in a jar and you'll get exactly what you want to avoid!
0:26:28 > 0:26:33You think I put them in the jar like this. I give my wife the jar at one end of the room...
0:26:33 > 0:26:40I then stand at the other end and go, "Are you ready?" That's not how I put them in!
0:26:40 > 0:26:45You take them out, one by one, and carefully place them like a maniac?
0:26:45 > 0:26:51No, I take them out and I slide them into the jar and they rest happily.
0:26:51 > 0:26:55- What biscuits are they? - Chocolate HobNobs or ideally...
0:26:55 > 0:27:02The ones I don't have to do it with are the chocolate Leibniz as they are in a box and are unscathed.
0:27:02 > 0:27:06You give them to your dog! Chocolate is poisonous to dogs!
0:27:06 > 0:27:12Is it?! Well, now you mention it, he wasn't a black lab when we got him.
0:27:14 > 0:27:16He was a Golden Retriever.
0:27:16 > 0:27:19So just to absolutely establish...
0:27:19 > 0:27:25You've taken out the biscuit, discarded it, if it's not crumbled you tend to throw it away
0:27:25 > 0:27:29but not always. Then you slide them out like a magician on your hand,
0:27:29 > 0:27:34you get the jar, insert them, unless it's a Liebovich(!)
0:27:34 > 0:27:40It comes off, there's one left, give it to the dog that used to be brown and is now black.
0:27:40 > 0:27:46That is what you're telling us happens in your house! You're mental. Of course it's true.
0:27:50 > 0:27:55- Think it's a lie?- I think so.- Lie? - I'll go with my team. Lie.
0:27:55 > 0:28:01- Lie. David? - Yes, I think I can believe it. - I don't like the broken biscuits.
0:28:01 > 0:28:04- So what are you saying?- True.
0:28:04 > 0:28:08You say true, you say lie. Well, it's actually...a lie.
0:28:12 > 0:28:16- BUZZER - That noise signals the end of the show.
0:28:16 > 0:28:20Lee's team have romped to victory by 8 points to 3.
0:28:24 > 0:28:30It's not just a team game. My individual liar of the week is Ben Fogle!
0:28:30 > 0:28:34APPLAUSE Thank you. Very happy with that.
0:28:34 > 0:28:39Ben Fogle, who hasn't lied so much since he sat behind James Cracknell
0:28:39 > 0:28:44and said, "I'm rowing just as hard as you are." Good night!
0:28:50 > 0:28:54Subtitles by Subtext for Red Bee Media Ltd - 2010
0:28:55 > 0:28:57Email subtitling@bbc.co.uk