0:00:03 > 0:00:06You're lying most of the time. "Daddy's going to be there soon."
0:00:06 > 0:00:09I've still got 22 months left. "Daddy's going to be there soon."
0:00:09 > 0:00:11I'm lying. I can't help it.
0:00:13 > 0:00:15I don't know whether he knows I'm his dad yet.
0:00:15 > 0:00:18Not having that bond really does feel horrible.
0:00:19 > 0:00:21Glen Parva in Leicester,
0:00:21 > 0:00:25the biggest young offenders' institution in Britain.
0:00:25 > 0:00:29The prisoners here are five times more likely to be dads
0:00:29 > 0:00:32than other young men their age.
0:00:32 > 0:00:34Have you come to see your daddy?
0:00:34 > 0:00:36Doggy!
0:00:36 > 0:00:37I don't want to make him cry.
0:00:37 > 0:00:40I'm missing out on too much time in my kid's life.
0:00:40 > 0:00:44I'm willing to stop, I'm willing to change, I'm willing to try.
0:00:45 > 0:00:48Aw! Nice(!)
0:00:48 > 0:00:49Daddy allowed a Quaver?
0:00:49 > 0:00:51The first time I met him, he was ten days old.
0:00:51 > 0:00:54I spend a couple of hours with him, then he's taken away from me again.
0:00:54 > 0:00:58Over six months, we follow fathers on the inside
0:00:58 > 0:01:00and their partners on the outside
0:01:00 > 0:01:04struggling to keep together their fledgling families.
0:01:04 > 0:01:07I've been by myself for two and a half years.
0:01:07 > 0:01:09I've already told him when he gets out,
0:01:09 > 0:01:12he's got one chance and that's it.
0:01:14 > 0:01:18Having a little boy feels like he's given me a bit of hope, really.
0:01:18 > 0:01:20Once these few years are over,
0:01:20 > 0:01:24I can go out and be a proper dad.
0:01:24 > 0:01:26DOOR SLAMS SHUT
0:00:00 > 0:00:00This programme contains some strong language.
0:01:31 > 0:01:33Wakey-wakey!
0:01:34 > 0:01:38You need to get up, son. What you doing?
0:01:38 > 0:01:39Right then, boys!
0:01:42 > 0:01:43Gaz?
0:01:52 > 0:01:5620-year-old Michael Rowley is serving his third prison sentence
0:01:56 > 0:01:58and knows the system well.
0:01:58 > 0:02:02Today, he's helping to hand out prisoners' grocery orders.
0:02:08 > 0:02:10One of one, two of two.
0:02:12 > 0:02:15Everything you see in front of you is what people order for the week.
0:02:15 > 0:02:18Their weekly shopping, innit.
0:02:18 > 0:02:20It's their weekly shop.
0:02:22 > 0:02:26Food, toiletries, Lynxes, Radox.
0:02:26 > 0:02:28What one's the best?
0:02:28 > 0:02:30Obviously, a Lynx.
0:02:32 > 0:02:34Why obviously?
0:02:34 > 0:02:38Because Lynx is a, is a...it's a decent shower gel, innit.
0:02:38 > 0:02:40Aaarrgghh!
0:02:40 > 0:02:42Aaarrgghh!
0:02:43 > 0:02:47Michael also works in the wing's laundry room.
0:02:47 > 0:02:49Everything in there is prison-issue.
0:02:49 > 0:02:51I definitely ain't wearing these trousers.
0:02:51 > 0:02:54No cuffs on the trousers either. The state of them, man!
0:02:54 > 0:02:59I do not wear them prison-issue socks and boxers. That is a no-no.
0:02:59 > 0:03:01I am not wearing the next man's boxers.
0:03:01 > 0:03:03Them boxers probably been in the jail
0:03:03 > 0:03:05since I was not even thought of.
0:03:07 > 0:03:11Today, Michael's son Rhys is getting ready to visit his dad.
0:03:16 > 0:03:17So how old is Rhys?
0:03:19 > 0:03:21Um...
0:03:21 > 0:03:24Oh, I always forget this, man. I'm not good at this.
0:03:27 > 0:03:31He's about 17 months. 17 months.
0:03:32 > 0:03:35- So were you in the actual room when he was born?- Yeah.
0:03:36 > 0:03:38Course.
0:03:38 > 0:03:40Got to make sure I see him come out.
0:03:40 > 0:03:42First thing, he comes straight to me.
0:03:44 > 0:03:46What was that like?
0:03:51 > 0:03:55Er...I don't know. Good, innit. It was good. It was amazing.
0:03:56 > 0:03:58Obviously, seeing my son being born
0:03:58 > 0:04:00and then getting to hold him straightaway.
0:04:03 > 0:04:05What was it like seeing a woman give birth?
0:04:05 > 0:04:06HE LAUGHS
0:04:09 > 0:04:11It's sad. I don't know, man, I just...
0:04:11 > 0:04:15Obviously, it's natural, innit? Obviously.
0:04:15 > 0:04:17Oh, God! It's weird, though.
0:04:17 > 0:04:19It's nasty, as well, at the end,
0:04:19 > 0:04:23and you see all these things gushing out, like, ew!
0:04:23 > 0:04:28Josie, Rhys' mum, met Michael when she was 15.
0:04:28 > 0:04:30Hiya, sweetheart. Have you come to see your daddy?
0:04:30 > 0:04:33She has spent most of their five-year relationship
0:04:33 > 0:04:34visiting him in prison.
0:04:34 > 0:04:38How old was Rhys when you came into prison?
0:04:38 > 0:04:40About two, two and a half months.
0:04:40 > 0:04:42Three, max.
0:04:42 > 0:04:4617 months already and all of that time, I've been in jail.
0:04:52 > 0:04:54'What do you feel you've missed out on?'
0:04:54 > 0:04:57Everything. The whole lot.
0:05:02 > 0:05:07I ain't never going to get the time to put him to sleep any more.
0:05:07 > 0:05:09That's all gone now for good, that is.
0:05:11 > 0:05:17And never seeing him do all his first words, trying to crawl.
0:05:17 > 0:05:20All the funny baby stuff he's done.
0:05:22 > 0:05:25None of that. I don't get to see that ever again now.
0:05:31 > 0:05:33Yay!
0:05:34 > 0:05:35This? This?
0:05:35 > 0:05:37Give it to Daddy.
0:05:38 > 0:05:40This. Ta.
0:05:47 > 0:05:49What do you want?
0:05:54 > 0:05:58'He was 16, or just turning 16.'
0:05:59 > 0:06:02Crouched over that railing like he was some...
0:06:03 > 0:06:05..cool man.
0:06:05 > 0:06:08I had a lot of butterflies. It was weird.
0:06:08 > 0:06:13I think I saw him as a person more than anyone else would see it, like.
0:06:13 > 0:06:15People used to think, "Oh, yeah, he's a bad boy."
0:06:17 > 0:06:20And I kind of saw his softer side.
0:06:20 > 0:06:22Even though he doesn't like to admit he's got a soft side,
0:06:22 > 0:06:25he thinks he can deal with anything, but he can't.
0:06:25 > 0:06:27Not really.
0:06:29 > 0:06:31I just thought he was cute.
0:06:32 > 0:06:35- Wipe your mouth. - Wipe your mouth, Rhys.
0:06:38 > 0:06:40Good boy. And there. And there.
0:06:40 > 0:06:44On you, on you. Do it to you. Do it to you.
0:06:44 > 0:06:47He was always talking about children.
0:06:47 > 0:06:51How many kids we're going to have. What we were going to call them.
0:06:51 > 0:06:53Who it was going to look like.
0:06:55 > 0:06:58In my head, I thought, "Oh, yeah, we're going to be a family.
0:06:58 > 0:07:01"I'll be pregnant, going to get our own place together."
0:07:02 > 0:07:05Mum, dad, son.
0:07:05 > 0:07:07Just a general family.
0:07:07 > 0:07:09And both be happy with each other.
0:07:10 > 0:07:13'And what actually happened?'
0:07:13 > 0:07:14'The opposite.'
0:07:14 > 0:07:16Is that nice, Rhys?
0:07:18 > 0:07:19What have you been doing today?
0:07:22 > 0:07:24- Servery?- Huh?
0:07:24 > 0:07:27- Servery?- Course, innit.
0:07:27 > 0:07:29'He was seeing another woman behind my back.
0:07:30 > 0:07:33'He'd had another kid with that woman.'
0:07:37 > 0:07:39I'd just given birth when I found out...
0:07:40 > 0:07:42..what was going on.
0:07:42 > 0:07:44Um...
0:07:52 > 0:07:55I wanted the ground to just eat me.
0:08:00 > 0:08:03- SHE WHISPERS:- Oh, man!
0:08:03 > 0:08:05TANNOY BEEPS
0:08:05 > 0:08:07Home time.
0:08:07 > 0:08:09- Uh-oh!- Uh-oh!
0:08:09 > 0:08:10Wipe your face.
0:08:10 > 0:08:13Come on, quickly, Rhys. Give Daddy a kiss.
0:08:13 > 0:08:17He'd been in jail for 24 months before this conviction,
0:08:17 > 0:08:19before I got pregnant with Rhys.
0:08:19 > 0:08:22I waited the whole of them 24 months...
0:08:24 > 0:08:26..for him to come out.
0:08:26 > 0:08:30To think I'd got, like, the man of my dreams and all this.
0:08:30 > 0:08:33And, like, "Ooh, yeah, I've got my perfect family,
0:08:33 > 0:08:36"I'm going to have a baby with the man that I love," and all this.
0:08:36 > 0:08:39And then it just comes crashing down, like.
0:08:41 > 0:08:43It's not even a family any more.
0:08:46 > 0:08:47SHE SIGHS
0:08:48 > 0:08:50There's someone else there.
0:08:51 > 0:08:52See you later.
0:08:58 > 0:08:59Rhys?
0:08:59 > 0:09:01Say bye-bye to Daddy.
0:09:01 > 0:09:03Bye-bye.
0:09:08 > 0:09:11Are you in a relationship with Josie?
0:09:11 > 0:09:12Nah.
0:09:12 > 0:09:14Not at the moment.
0:09:17 > 0:09:19Kind of, but...
0:09:20 > 0:09:23We are, yeah, but...
0:09:23 > 0:09:26Obviously, I put my own self in the situation, yeah,
0:09:26 > 0:09:29by doing what I did, messing around and that.
0:09:29 > 0:09:32It's a mess. I don't talk about it.
0:09:32 > 0:09:35I don't even think about it, I just leave it as it is.
0:09:52 > 0:09:5720-year-old Michael Yorke has recently arrived at Glen Parva.
0:09:57 > 0:09:59It's his first time in prison
0:09:59 > 0:10:03and his girlfriend is expecting their first child.
0:10:03 > 0:10:06It's still early days for me while I've been inside,
0:10:06 > 0:10:08and I've only been in a few week and that, so...
0:10:08 > 0:10:10That's probably why it's so hard,
0:10:10 > 0:10:12cos it's so early and that.
0:10:12 > 0:10:14But...
0:10:16 > 0:10:18Suppose it'll be a bit better...
0:10:18 > 0:10:22Well, it's not going to get better, is it? Get easier to deal with.
0:10:22 > 0:10:27If my little boy was here, it would be all right.
0:10:27 > 0:10:31I've got all faith that it's going to end well.
0:10:31 > 0:10:34It's got to.
0:10:34 > 0:10:37Michael's baby is due next month.
0:10:37 > 0:10:40He calls his pregnant girlfriend every day.
0:10:40 > 0:10:44At the end of the day, you've still got more than two weeks left.
0:10:49 > 0:10:52Yeah. Should be this week, then.
0:10:54 > 0:10:56She's sitting on, you know, like, a medicine ball?
0:10:56 > 0:10:58She's going to bounce on one of them,
0:10:58 > 0:11:02- she reckons she's going to do star jumps...- Star jumps?!
0:11:02 > 0:11:05What else? Taking these raspberry summat tablets,
0:11:05 > 0:11:08which are supposed to help the baby come on.
0:11:08 > 0:11:10I can't wait.
0:11:10 > 0:11:13It's hard, though, doing it by herself, mate.
0:11:13 > 0:11:17- When's the due date, man?- Two weeks away, mate. Two weeks on Friday.
0:11:17 > 0:11:19- She's feeling it already?- Yeah.
0:11:19 > 0:11:25The hospital says basically it's ready to come.
0:11:25 > 0:11:26We'll see, lad.
0:11:35 > 0:11:40It's been a year since my accident. A year today.
0:11:40 > 0:11:45Been out drinking with my mates, drove home...
0:11:45 > 0:11:48and didn't make it.
0:11:48 > 0:11:51Two of my best mates lost their life,
0:11:51 > 0:11:53down to my actions and that.
0:11:55 > 0:11:58In October 2011,
0:11:58 > 0:12:00Michael and three friends
0:12:00 > 0:12:02were out clubbing on a Friday night in Leicester.
0:12:02 > 0:12:07At 6:00am, after more than 12 hours of drinking,
0:12:07 > 0:12:09Michael decided to drive them home.
0:12:11 > 0:12:15He lost control of the car, killing his two best friends.
0:12:17 > 0:12:22Michael was jailed for two counts of causing death by dangerous driving,
0:12:22 > 0:12:25and sentenced to five years in prison.
0:12:25 > 0:12:28- Morning. How are you doing? - Not too bad.- Yeah?
0:12:28 > 0:12:33- OK. Do you want to go to the chapel? - Yeah.- Yeah? OK, we'll go down.
0:12:33 > 0:12:37Today is the anniversary of their deaths.
0:12:37 > 0:12:41- Did you get much sleep last night? - No.- No, I didn't think you would do.
0:12:49 > 0:12:52Two people have put things on Facebook,
0:12:52 > 0:12:54"Rest in peace, Sam and Matt."
0:12:54 > 0:12:57A few people have put on that I didn't get long enough.
0:12:59 > 0:13:03Every night I'll have a dream about it -
0:13:03 > 0:13:07losing the rear end of the car and the impact of the crash.
0:13:07 > 0:13:09Trying to push myself or trying to turn my head,
0:13:09 > 0:13:12look for my car, couldn't see my car or nothing...
0:13:13 > 0:13:16Just hearing Sam crying for his brother,
0:13:16 > 0:13:21and his brother just obviously saying that "I can't get to him".
0:13:21 > 0:13:26If I could choose out of having 25, 50 years in jail,
0:13:26 > 0:13:28and not having the thoughts in my head,
0:13:28 > 0:13:31I'd choose 50 years in jail, happily.
0:13:34 > 0:13:36"Death leaves a heartache no-one can heal.
0:13:36 > 0:13:39"Love leaves a memory no-one can steal.
0:13:39 > 0:13:41"Rest in peace, Sam and Matt."
0:13:43 > 0:13:46I'll never forgive myself for it. Never.
0:13:48 > 0:13:50Oh, I loved them like brothers.
0:13:54 > 0:13:55So...
0:13:56 > 0:13:58Still hear of 'em.
0:14:05 > 0:14:07OK, baby.
0:14:09 > 0:14:14If you do go into labour tonight, yeah, good luck, baby.
0:14:14 > 0:14:16It should have been me there, shouldn't it?
0:14:18 > 0:14:19Right, I love you, baby.
0:14:23 > 0:14:25Yeah, what were your first visit like?
0:14:25 > 0:14:27I met him when he was ten days old, man,
0:14:27 > 0:14:29in a family visit in a different jail.
0:14:29 > 0:14:32Father Christmas were there. It was Christmas time.
0:14:32 > 0:14:35- Were it? When's your... Your little boy's 5th of December?- Yeah.
0:14:35 > 0:14:39She just kind of walked over to me with this baby, man - "Here y'are"!
0:14:39 > 0:14:44"Have him." Didn't know how to hold him or nothing.
0:14:44 > 0:14:47Max has been in prison since before his son was born.
0:14:47 > 0:14:52At 21, he's one of the oldest and longest-serving prisoners
0:14:52 > 0:14:53in Glen Parva.
0:14:56 > 0:15:00His son, Freddie, is now almost two.
0:15:00 > 0:15:03As soon as you have them, you're no longer number one.
0:15:03 > 0:15:08He is number one. He needs me to look after him.
0:15:09 > 0:15:12He won't make the same mistakes I made.
0:15:12 > 0:15:14That's for sure.
0:15:38 > 0:15:39I was only 17.
0:15:41 > 0:15:44I was with my mates and I started shouting at a bloke.
0:15:46 > 0:15:50That's when it all kicked off.
0:15:56 > 0:16:02I hit him to the floor and then...smashed his head to pieces.
0:16:05 > 0:16:09You couldn't see his face. I thought I'd killed him.
0:16:10 > 0:16:13I don't really want to talk about it, to be honest.
0:16:13 > 0:16:17I mean...it's horrible.
0:16:17 > 0:16:20I don't even know what it felt like at the time.
0:16:20 > 0:16:22I just remember walking off.
0:16:30 > 0:16:33Wounding with intent to cause grievous bodily harm.
0:16:35 > 0:16:38Five years. Five years in prison.
0:16:41 > 0:16:45Today, Max's girlfriend Becca and their son, Freddie, are making
0:16:45 > 0:16:48the two-hour journey to prison for their weekly visit.
0:16:48 > 0:16:51He's not really old enough to understand where
0:16:51 > 0:16:52he is actually going.
0:16:52 > 0:16:54He's been doing it since he was ten days old
0:16:54 > 0:16:57so he doesn't know any different.
0:16:57 > 0:17:02I think it's important for him to see his dad and for them
0:17:02 > 0:17:04to have a bond.
0:17:06 > 0:17:09It's just not a very nice place to go.
0:17:11 > 0:17:1520-year-old Becca met Max when she was 17.
0:17:15 > 0:17:18He's been in prison for almost two of the three years
0:17:18 > 0:17:19they've been together.
0:17:23 > 0:17:27The majority are all young girls coming to see their boyfriends
0:17:27 > 0:17:29with their little babies, toddlers.
0:17:31 > 0:17:34I don't agree with it, but, then again, it's not down to me.
0:17:34 > 0:17:36It's down to the mums that bring them in.
0:17:36 > 0:17:40They've got to see their dad or whatever relation.
0:17:40 > 0:17:45To me, a prison isn't somewhere a child should be brought in.
0:17:58 > 0:18:00They're irresponsible.
0:18:00 > 0:18:02I'm young myself, so I don't want to sound patronising,
0:18:02 > 0:18:06- but it's kids having kids. - One-parent families, aren't they?
0:18:06 > 0:18:07They've got no contact with their dad.
0:18:07 > 0:18:09They see them once a week if they are lucky.
0:18:12 > 0:18:15You know, it's just sad.
0:18:16 > 0:18:20- Rebecca?- Yeah. - Freddie with you?- Yeah.
0:18:22 > 0:18:27'It's a pain in the arse for her, travelling up here, getting searched.
0:18:27 > 0:18:30'Going through all this crap that she doesn't need to go through.
0:18:30 > 0:18:32'Every week for the last two years.'
0:18:34 > 0:18:35Because of me.
0:18:41 > 0:18:45- You all right?- Yup.- Has he gone to the kitchen?- Huh?
0:18:45 > 0:18:50- Has he gone into the kitchen?- No. He's in the little house.
0:18:51 > 0:18:55Just think, not this year, but the year after,
0:18:55 > 0:18:59- I'll spend your birthday with you. - I know.
0:19:00 > 0:19:03You will have missed my 18th, 19th and 21st birthdays
0:19:03 > 0:19:04being in here.
0:19:07 > 0:19:10- You missed my 21st and my 20th. - That's not my fault, is it?
0:19:10 > 0:19:12It's your fault.
0:19:15 > 0:19:17'We'd only been together for about seven or eight
0:19:17 > 0:19:19'months before I got pregnant.
0:19:20 > 0:19:24'Max got sent to prison two months before Freddie was born.'
0:19:24 > 0:19:26How did you feel?
0:19:27 > 0:19:31Worried and scared and shocked.
0:19:31 > 0:19:34Knowing that I was about to do it for two and a half years,
0:19:34 > 0:19:35all by myself.
0:19:40 > 0:19:43He looks more like me than you, doesn't he?
0:19:43 > 0:19:44Yeah.
0:19:44 > 0:19:47Do you look more like your daddy?
0:19:47 > 0:19:51I missed out going to uni like a normal 18-year-old.
0:19:52 > 0:19:54I am going to go next year,
0:19:54 > 0:20:00but I can't live in halls and have a student life like everyone else.
0:20:00 > 0:20:04I've had to put everything on hold for a few years.
0:20:04 > 0:20:06Come here.
0:20:09 > 0:20:13Love you, Freddie. Little squirt.
0:20:13 > 0:20:15- Bye-bye.- I'll speak to you tomorrow.
0:20:15 > 0:20:18- I'll ring you tomorrow. - Love you.- Love you.
0:20:23 > 0:20:26Bye, bye, bye.
0:20:26 > 0:20:34I was an arsehole to do what I've done. I was 17 years old, a big man.
0:20:34 > 0:20:37I've only got myself to blame for that.
0:20:37 > 0:20:40It makes me angry when I think about it, to be honest.
0:20:41 > 0:20:45Being in here...
0:20:45 > 0:20:48I've fucked my life up, kind of thing.
0:20:50 > 0:20:52I could have gone to college. I could have done a lot of stuff.
0:20:52 > 0:20:56But I didn't. I've come to prison.
0:21:14 > 0:21:16How you are you doing, Michael?
0:21:16 > 0:21:19Do you want to give your family a call? Yeah?
0:21:19 > 0:21:23Michael's baby is due in less than a week.
0:21:23 > 0:21:28His girlfriend's family have sent an urgent message for him to call.
0:21:40 > 0:21:42Hello?
0:21:45 > 0:21:47You're joking!
0:21:47 > 0:21:48Is she all right?
0:21:51 > 0:21:53Right.
0:21:53 > 0:21:58Can you see the head? Do you want me to ring you back at two?
0:21:59 > 0:22:05All right, cheers. All right. Thank you, Nicola. Give her my love.
0:22:05 > 0:22:08All right. I'll see you later. Bye.
0:22:12 > 0:22:15She's in labour. They can see the head.
0:22:15 > 0:22:18The midwife reckons she'll be back in ten minutes.
0:22:24 > 0:22:27Cheers.
0:22:30 > 0:22:31What?
0:22:31 > 0:22:33INAUDIBLE DISTANT VOICE
0:22:33 > 0:22:37Huh? My missus is in labour now, bro.
0:22:38 > 0:22:41Yeah.
0:23:18 > 0:23:19Ten minutes later,
0:23:19 > 0:23:22officers allow Michael to call his girlfriend again.
0:23:24 > 0:23:27Is he here? Yeah? Is he all right?
0:23:31 > 0:23:33Are you all right?
0:23:35 > 0:23:36I'm sorry, you know.
0:23:39 > 0:23:40When is he getting weighed?
0:23:43 > 0:23:45So are you both all right?
0:23:47 > 0:23:49Good.
0:23:49 > 0:23:51I'm glad you're happy.
0:23:52 > 0:23:55At least there is... All right.
0:23:56 > 0:23:57I love you.
0:24:16 > 0:24:20When she first answered the phone, he was about five minutes old.
0:24:20 > 0:24:25I've got a little boy now. I could hear him crying in the back.
0:24:25 > 0:24:27My family's started now.
0:24:28 > 0:24:29So...
0:24:31 > 0:24:33I just wish I weren't here.
0:24:36 > 0:24:39I should be there for her. I should be there for both of them.
0:24:48 > 0:24:51- Shut my door, please. - Has she had it yet?- Yes, she has.
0:24:51 > 0:24:54- What did she have?- A little boy. - Oh, well done.- Nice one, cheers.
0:24:54 > 0:24:56- What is it?- Crumble.
0:24:56 > 0:24:58- Crumble and custard.- Oh, no!
0:24:58 > 0:25:038lbs 11. Massive. I just want to see him, innit?
0:25:05 > 0:25:09There is only 22 people left. Two people are going without Bingos.
0:25:09 > 0:25:12It's the famous chocolate bar. Everybody loves a Bingo.
0:25:14 > 0:25:20- Young dad Ramone works on the wing servery.- I've given too many out.
0:25:20 > 0:25:23INAUDIBLE
0:25:25 > 0:25:29Ramone's daughter is being looked after by her grandfather,
0:25:29 > 0:25:30who has never brought her to visit.
0:25:32 > 0:25:35When my baby mum was pregnant, I was committing crime.
0:25:35 > 0:25:38When my daughter was born, I was committing crime.
0:25:38 > 0:25:40I've had a criminal record since the age of 13.
0:25:40 > 0:25:45I've been in jail 26 months. I've not got to see my daughter once.
0:25:45 > 0:25:49I blame them. I blame the baby mum and I blame her dad as well.
0:25:51 > 0:25:56But me, I blame myself really because, to the bigger picture,
0:25:56 > 0:25:57it is me.
0:25:57 > 0:26:00They didn't put me in jail. I put myself in jail.
0:26:00 > 0:26:02I don't do nothing myself.
0:26:02 > 0:26:06I don't put any food on the table, no clothes on her back.
0:26:06 > 0:26:09Nothing like that. I'm 22 years old
0:26:09 > 0:26:12and another man's providing for my daughter.
0:26:12 > 0:26:16It's scummy, that's what it is. It's scummy.
0:26:16 > 0:26:19- You've had three doughnuts. - I've had one.- I've had no doughnuts.
0:26:21 > 0:26:24Some dads choose not to have their children visit.
0:26:24 > 0:26:28Stephen hasn't seen his daughters for almost two years.
0:26:28 > 0:26:31It weren't like that anyway. I was in good relationships.
0:26:31 > 0:26:33I had a job and that.
0:26:34 > 0:26:37Obviously, things can go tits-up in an instant.
0:26:37 > 0:26:39And that's what happened both times.
0:26:39 > 0:26:43- Two?- Two girls.- How old are they? - Five and two.- I bet you miss them.
0:26:43 > 0:26:46Like mad.
0:26:46 > 0:26:49When you get out, you got to make up for the time.
0:26:49 > 0:26:51I've got a lot of time to make up.
0:26:51 > 0:26:57- Do they come and visit?- No. I don't want them visiting me.
0:26:57 > 0:26:59Not nice for them or me.
0:26:59 > 0:27:04- I phone a lot.- Where do they think you are?- Naughty holiday.
0:27:04 > 0:27:08A naughty holiday? That's a different one.
0:27:08 > 0:27:10I don't want her to know because she's at that age
0:27:10 > 0:27:12when she'll go to school and tell everybody.
0:27:12 > 0:27:14It works. She doesn't read anything into it.
0:27:14 > 0:27:16She just says "You need to stop being naughty, Daddy."
0:27:16 > 0:27:18- Is that what she says?- Yeah.
0:27:18 > 0:27:21"If you're not naughty, you don't have to go on naughty holiday."
0:27:28 > 0:27:31Prisoners who stay in touch with their children are less
0:27:31 > 0:27:33likely to reoffend.
0:27:37 > 0:27:39To help maintain contact, there are special family
0:27:39 > 0:27:44visits for prisoners like Max who have been well-behaved.
0:27:46 > 0:27:48- BABY BURPS - Oh, nice!
0:27:48 > 0:27:51MAX LAUGHS
0:27:51 > 0:27:55Unlike regular visits, Max can play freely with Freddie
0:27:55 > 0:27:59and doesn't have to stay seated.
0:27:59 > 0:28:02"He has knobbly knees and turned-out toes,
0:28:02 > 0:28:05"and a poisonous wart at the end of his nose."
0:28:07 > 0:28:10Prisoners can also keep in touch with their kids
0:28:10 > 0:28:14by recording bedtime stories to be sent home.
0:28:14 > 0:28:16"Silly old owl. Doesn't he know
0:28:16 > 0:28:19"there's no such thing as a gruffalo?
0:28:20 > 0:28:22"But who is this creature with the terrible claws
0:28:22 > 0:28:25"and the terrible teeth in his terrible jaws?"
0:28:25 > 0:28:28' "He has knobbly knees and turned-out toes
0:28:28 > 0:28:31' "and a poisonous wart at the end of his nose.
0:28:31 > 0:28:34' "His eyes are orange, his tongue is black
0:28:34 > 0:28:37' "and he has purple prickles all over his back." '
0:28:39 > 0:28:41Did your dad ever read you stories?
0:28:41 > 0:28:43No. I don't know my dad.
0:28:46 > 0:28:49What was good about your childhood?
0:28:49 > 0:28:52I put all that behind me. I don't like thinking about it.
0:28:52 > 0:28:56It's old news now, innit. I'm away from that now already.
0:28:58 > 0:29:01Forgot about it. Don't want remember about it any more.
0:29:03 > 0:29:05Don't feel like a man.
0:29:06 > 0:29:08It's hard for me to feel sad.
0:29:09 > 0:29:11- HE LAUGHS - Yeah...
0:29:13 > 0:29:15It's hard for me to feel something.
0:29:16 > 0:29:20- Why?- Because I've never been shown it or felt it myself. That's why.
0:29:24 > 0:29:27Michael York is also estranged from his dad,
0:29:27 > 0:29:30who was in prison when he was growing up.
0:29:30 > 0:29:33'When he were in jail, he'd ring up on 24th August
0:29:33 > 0:29:37'and say happy birthday and that, which is the day after my birthday.
0:29:37 > 0:29:39'Didn't even know my birthday.'
0:29:39 > 0:29:41I don't want to be nothing like my real dad.
0:29:41 > 0:29:43Nothing like my biological father.
0:29:43 > 0:29:44Nothing.
0:29:46 > 0:29:49But being in here just makes me...
0:29:49 > 0:29:51Just makes me feel more like him every day.
0:29:53 > 0:29:57I've done some of the things that my dad had done.
0:29:57 > 0:30:01I behave and act and think, probably, the way my dad does,
0:30:01 > 0:30:04and I look...50% like my dad.
0:30:06 > 0:30:09That's good, really, cos I don't want to be nothing like the twat.
0:30:11 > 0:30:13What kind of dad do you want to be, though?
0:30:15 > 0:30:19I don't know. I just want to be the best dad I can be.
0:30:27 > 0:30:31Michael splits visits between his two sons from different mothers.
0:30:31 > 0:30:34Today, he's with his youngest, Kai.
0:30:34 > 0:30:37- 'Do you remember the day that Kai was born?'- 'Yep.'
0:30:38 > 0:30:42'Obviously I had a good feeling, yeah, but I was pissed off.
0:30:42 > 0:30:44Sitting in jail, not getting to see it and that,
0:30:44 > 0:30:47I jumped straight on the phone and I heard him in the background,
0:30:47 > 0:30:48screaming.
0:30:51 > 0:30:53Another baby boy.
0:30:53 > 0:30:54- HE WHISPERS:- Boy.
0:30:56 > 0:30:57Dad of two.
0:30:58 > 0:31:01Dad of two amazing little boys.
0:31:03 > 0:31:04Just what I wanted.
0:31:09 > 0:31:11'Living in jail, it's not the way forward, do you get me?
0:31:11 > 0:31:14'I need to fix up now, and get a job.
0:31:14 > 0:31:17'Missing out too much time with my kids' life, man.'
0:31:20 > 0:31:24Even though I said that the last time, it didn't plan out that way.
0:31:25 > 0:31:27But this time...
0:31:27 > 0:31:29determined.
0:31:29 > 0:31:32I'll do it this time, I will. I know I will...
0:31:34 > 0:31:38Not coming back, man. Staying out there for my kids, I am.
0:31:39 > 0:31:43That's sort of all I've got stuck in my head now...is just...
0:31:43 > 0:31:46the family. Family is what matter.
0:31:48 > 0:31:50So I'll be there for them, no matter what.
0:31:51 > 0:31:54Even if I am behind a few walls.
0:31:56 > 0:31:58I'll have my day when I get released
0:31:58 > 0:32:01and I'll be able to do whatever... Whatever they want.
0:32:01 > 0:32:04I've got... I'll have two years of making up to do, so...
0:32:04 > 0:32:07Well, two and a half years of making up to do, so...
0:32:08 > 0:32:12So a lot of presents coming... the kids' way.
0:32:15 > 0:32:18SHOUTING
0:32:20 > 0:32:22To help prepare them for life outside,
0:32:22 > 0:32:26young offenders are encouraged to take part in work or education.
0:32:30 > 0:32:32With seven months left to serve,
0:32:32 > 0:32:36Max has already passed five education courses,
0:32:36 > 0:32:40got seven training certificates and worked in ten different prison jobs.
0:32:46 > 0:32:49- And prison number?- A98-62.
0:32:49 > 0:32:53He is now the only prisoner trusted to work outside the jail,
0:32:53 > 0:32:56and has a job on a local golf course.
0:32:56 > 0:32:58All right.
0:33:02 > 0:33:05I've worked for it. If you fight the system you don't get this, do ya?
0:33:05 > 0:33:07If you work with it, then...
0:33:08 > 0:33:09..you get rewarded.
0:33:12 > 0:33:15- Did you have a job on the outside, Max?- Loads of different jobs.
0:33:15 > 0:33:16Apprentice tree surgeon...
0:33:16 > 0:33:19I've worked on the bins, worked in factories, worked as a chef.
0:33:20 > 0:33:24- And what do you hope to do? - Start my own business in gardening.
0:33:24 > 0:33:27Landscape gardening, bit of tree surgeon...
0:33:29 > 0:33:31..fingers crossed.
0:33:31 > 0:33:33Max is released each morning at eight
0:33:33 > 0:33:36and must be back behind bars by 5.15pm.
0:33:36 > 0:33:40Running off and getting to be with my son, my missus, like.
0:33:40 > 0:33:44That goes through my head every day. But if I did run away...
0:33:45 > 0:33:47..I wouldn't have my family.
0:33:48 > 0:33:50So family's at stake, really, innit?
0:33:50 > 0:33:53It's the most important thing to anyone.
0:33:55 > 0:33:58- Did you ever have a job when you were out on the outside, Michael?- Nope.
0:33:58 > 0:34:00Full-time criminal.
0:34:01 > 0:34:03HE SIGHS
0:34:03 > 0:34:05How come you never had a job, then, Michael?
0:34:05 > 0:34:07Cos nobody would like to employ me.
0:34:10 > 0:34:12I've done better what I've done in jail
0:34:12 > 0:34:14than what I did on the outside,
0:34:14 > 0:34:17so I started jamming with certain people...
0:34:18 > 0:34:21..then just started smoking...
0:34:21 > 0:34:22drinking...
0:34:24 > 0:34:28..and then that's it. Life went down the drain for a few years.
0:34:33 > 0:34:35And then I ended up in jail.
0:34:35 > 0:34:39And then I end up in jail again, and that's the way that I am now.
0:34:41 > 0:34:42Yeah...
0:34:46 > 0:34:48That's the front page...
0:34:50 > 0:34:52"Stabbed and left for dead."
0:34:52 > 0:34:56"Man victim of teenage centre attack by teenage robbers.
0:34:56 > 0:35:01"This was the horrific moment an innocent reveller
0:35:01 > 0:35:04"was stabbed by two teenage thugs who tried to rob him
0:35:04 > 0:35:06"in the heart of Birmingham city centre."
0:35:10 > 0:35:12'Just turning about 16.'
0:35:12 > 0:35:16Obviously now I look back and think that was fucked. Do you get me?
0:35:16 > 0:35:17I'm not proud of what I done
0:35:17 > 0:35:20but obviously I made a choice to do something
0:35:20 > 0:35:22and, therefore, ended up here,
0:35:22 > 0:35:25therefore I'm dealing with the situation. You get me?
0:35:25 > 0:35:27Do you think you'll tell your kids one day what you did?
0:35:27 > 0:35:30- Yeah, of course I will. - What will you tell them?
0:35:30 > 0:35:33Tell them, Daddy went jail, innit?
0:35:33 > 0:35:35Daddy was a fucking little crackhead.
0:35:35 > 0:35:39Fucking about on the street like a dumb little twat.
0:35:45 > 0:35:50Max has applied to spend a weekend at home with Becca and Freddie.
0:35:50 > 0:35:53Home leave can help prisoners readjust to family life.
0:35:53 > 0:35:57But it hasn't been granted at Glen Parva for more than five years.
0:35:59 > 0:36:02Max must argue his case in front of a governor.
0:36:02 > 0:36:04I want to build that bond with my son
0:36:04 > 0:36:08because I've been in prison since he was born, before he was born,
0:36:08 > 0:36:11so I've never actually been able to tuck him into bed,
0:36:11 > 0:36:14read him a story or actually spend a full day with him, so...
0:36:14 > 0:36:18- OK.- Just building a better bond with my son, really.
0:36:18 > 0:36:21- Brief...offence details.- Mm-hm.
0:36:21 > 0:36:25Max was in the company of six other males of a similar age.
0:36:25 > 0:36:28Er, attacked a victim while journeying home.
0:36:28 > 0:36:31Himself and the associate had all been drinking...
0:36:32 > 0:36:34..and it just appears that the whole lot of them
0:36:34 > 0:36:37have ganged up on this one gentleman.
0:36:37 > 0:36:42It makes it sound a lot worse on there, to be honest. But, erm...
0:36:43 > 0:36:46Like, come up in my face and at this point, my mate hit him.
0:36:46 > 0:36:49All three of us were scuffling and...
0:36:49 > 0:36:52it just got out of hand, to be honest.
0:36:52 > 0:36:57- Max, you got five years... - Yeah.- ..for GBH with intent.
0:36:57 > 0:37:00- So let's not try and minimise that. - Yeah.- OK?
0:37:00 > 0:37:01And on that note,
0:37:01 > 0:37:03I'm going to ask that you disappear for a little while
0:37:03 > 0:37:05cos we're going to talk about you.
0:37:05 > 0:37:08- OK, miss, I'll go.- OK. - Shall I put him in the holding?- Yeah.
0:37:09 > 0:37:11- Thank you very much.- All right.
0:37:18 > 0:37:21It's a period of home leave. Does he actually need it?
0:37:21 > 0:37:23He's only been in jail for two years.
0:37:23 > 0:37:26I do appreciate that he is a young man
0:37:26 > 0:37:28and two years is an awful long time.
0:37:28 > 0:37:31I understand that but that wouldn't be, for me, a reason
0:37:31 > 0:37:32to him let go home for the weekend.
0:37:32 > 0:37:35And he will be getting released in a handful of months
0:37:35 > 0:37:38and will, very, very quickly be Dad.
0:37:38 > 0:37:41Everything so far has all been good for Max.
0:37:41 > 0:37:43You know, he's been in charge of his own destiny,
0:37:43 > 0:37:46he's had excellent support from his offender manager
0:37:46 > 0:37:48and from his unit staff.
0:37:48 > 0:37:51Doesn't seem to have been faced with many stressful situations.
0:37:51 > 0:37:53How would he react in that?
0:37:53 > 0:37:57I have to be 100% sure that if there was an abscond,
0:37:57 > 0:38:00that the risk to the public is nil.
0:38:08 > 0:38:11I just want to tuck my son into bed, read him a story
0:38:11 > 0:38:13and just watch him fall asleep.
0:38:13 > 0:38:15I've wanted to do that since he was born, like.
0:38:21 > 0:38:22Well, I got it.
0:38:22 > 0:38:25Max's home leave has been approved.
0:38:25 > 0:38:27With his continued record of good behaviour,
0:38:27 > 0:38:29the governor has ruled that he can be trusted.
0:38:29 > 0:38:31- Not this weekend.- 'Yeah.'
0:38:31 > 0:38:35- Next weekend.- 'So, it's for definite?'- Yeah.
0:38:35 > 0:38:39- 'That's good then.'- Yeah.- 'Yeah.'
0:38:39 > 0:38:41- Are you happy?- 'Yeah.'
0:38:41 > 0:38:43You'll have to get the shopping in then, won't you?
0:38:45 > 0:38:49This will be the first time Max has spent more than just a few hours
0:38:49 > 0:38:52with Becca and Freddie in two years.
0:38:52 > 0:38:55I am looking forward to it but I'm a bit nervous
0:38:55 > 0:38:59- cos I don't know how it's going to be.- He hasn't been home in ages.
0:38:59 > 0:39:04No, he's not been home for two years so, yeah. It's going to be weird.
0:39:05 > 0:39:08Well, I feel like because he has been away for so long,
0:39:08 > 0:39:11he has got a lot of making up to do so he will be doing,
0:39:11 > 0:39:16- like, the cooking and stuff and cleaning and...- Helping out a lot.
0:39:16 > 0:39:21- Taking Freddie out. - And you can relax.- Yeah.
0:39:21 > 0:39:23A bit nervous, to be honest.
0:39:24 > 0:39:29Nervous and happy because I get to see my son and my missus but
0:39:29 > 0:39:33nervous that they might not be ready for me to come home, kind of thing.
0:39:33 > 0:39:35Been without me for two years and it'll be a big shock to them,
0:39:35 > 0:39:37won't it, having me back?
0:39:39 > 0:39:42She thinks of me as being that 19-year-old that will punch
0:39:42 > 0:39:45anyone's head in for no reason, kind of thing.
0:39:45 > 0:39:51Whereas now I think about things a bit more. Grown up and that.
0:39:52 > 0:39:55Do you think you have grown apart?
0:39:55 > 0:39:56Yeah.
0:39:58 > 0:40:02But I think we have both invested too much in each other to
0:40:02 > 0:40:04just give it up though.
0:40:04 > 0:40:08How is it with you and Josie at the moment?
0:40:08 > 0:40:13- Is it OK?- I don't know, it's a bit... - It's what? A bit messed up?
0:40:13 > 0:40:17- Same as usual.- Same as usual. OK. I won't ask any more questions then.
0:40:17 > 0:40:18I kind of know the answer to that.
0:40:18 > 0:40:22Michael Rowley is due to be released in one week's time.
0:40:22 > 0:40:23He has been called for a meeting
0:40:23 > 0:40:26to help prepare him for life on the outside.
0:40:26 > 0:40:29- So, are you in a relationship with anybody?- No.
0:40:29 > 0:40:31- Not in a relationship.- No.
0:40:33 > 0:40:36What are your plans in relation to, you know,
0:40:36 > 0:40:38- maintaining your relationships and... - Basically, just...
0:40:38 > 0:40:40..keeping everybody happy.
0:40:40 > 0:40:42When I get out of here, what I'm basing on, yeah,
0:40:42 > 0:40:45is just getting myself straight, yeah,
0:40:45 > 0:40:48and just, basically, just having time with my kids and that, really.
0:40:48 > 0:40:50That's what I plan on doing and that.
0:40:50 > 0:40:53To just try and get on the straight and narrow, hold my head down.
0:40:53 > 0:40:56Obviously, trying to get into work, yeah, so I can keep my head straight
0:40:56 > 0:40:58and, obviously, it's just all about my kids
0:40:58 > 0:41:00when I get out and nothing else, man.
0:41:06 > 0:41:08I hope they see each other, like, a lot.
0:41:09 > 0:41:13I don't know. That all depends on, like, Michael, really,
0:41:13 > 0:41:16and, like, the door is open for him to see his Rhys.
0:41:17 > 0:41:20He has got to want to do it but I believe that he will anyway.
0:41:22 > 0:41:25He ain't really had a chance to be a father while he is in jail
0:41:25 > 0:41:29and I know that it's, like, he don't like the fact that he has not
0:41:29 > 0:41:33had that chance with Rhys
0:41:33 > 0:41:36so I think he'll be a good father.
0:41:38 > 0:41:40'Ideally, if I could choose,
0:41:40 > 0:41:44'we would be a family cos any mum would want that for their child.'
0:41:45 > 0:41:49What is your current situation with your relationship with him?
0:41:53 > 0:41:57Different. I don't... I can't think of a word.
0:41:57 > 0:42:01It's like there is something there but it's just not.
0:42:01 > 0:42:05Like, cooling off, kind of thing.
0:42:06 > 0:42:09Or what you would class as, like, a break.
0:42:13 > 0:42:17- My little man's going nursery soon and that.- First year at school.
0:42:20 > 0:42:22You are a proper angel as well when you are younger you are proper
0:42:22 > 0:42:26- good and when you start growing up you just...- Fade away.
0:42:26 > 0:42:30Fade away like I did.
0:42:30 > 0:42:32I wish I could go back to school. School years was good.
0:42:32 > 0:42:35- They were the days. - I wish I could go back.
0:42:35 > 0:42:38They always say that, you know. "When you leave school,
0:42:38 > 0:42:40"you are all going to be wishing that you want to go back."
0:42:40 > 0:42:42That's what I say to my little brother.
0:42:42 > 0:42:44Thinking, "No, you're mad. I'm not going back to school."
0:42:44 > 0:42:47Now when you grow up and think, "I got no qualifications."
0:42:47 > 0:42:49- It would have been mad funny. - Going to get a shit job.
0:42:49 > 0:42:54It would have been sick. You could have done football or something.
0:42:54 > 0:42:58If I would have stuck at school, I could have been on 2012 Olympics.
0:42:58 > 0:43:02I'm telling you one thing, I would not never be here.
0:43:02 > 0:43:06I didn't even get no exams, do no GCSEs. That's how bad that is.
0:43:07 > 0:43:11Standard. I ain't got no GCSEs, really, except for that one.
0:43:11 > 0:43:14It's not even a proper GCSE, really, to be honest with you.
0:43:15 > 0:43:21- I done it in jail. Can't class it as a GCSE.- What is it?
0:43:21 > 0:43:25I done Olympic lifting, fitness and balanced diets and all that.
0:43:27 > 0:43:28I got A-star in that.
0:43:30 > 0:43:31What do you hope Rhys is like?
0:43:31 > 0:43:35- Do you want his teenage years to be different to yours?- Of course.
0:43:36 > 0:43:38No messing about.
0:43:38 > 0:43:40Obviously, he is going to do what he's going to do, you get me?
0:43:40 > 0:43:42I can't, literally, stop him, yeah,
0:43:42 > 0:43:45but obviously I'm going to try my best, like, to show him the right
0:43:45 > 0:43:49way, like, get me, show him things that he should be doing and that.
0:43:50 > 0:43:53No committing crime, no doing drugs.
0:43:55 > 0:44:00Obviously, alcohol is a minor but, obviously, anything else, no.
0:44:06 > 0:44:09Max is about to leave the prison for his weekend release.
0:44:13 > 0:44:18You are going to be a model prisoner, right, so if you do anything
0:44:18 > 0:44:23- wrong it will come bad back on you and on the establishment.- Yeah.
0:44:23 > 0:44:26You're not supposed to be in possession of a mobile phone.
0:44:26 > 0:44:30- But I am ringing you off a landline. - Yeah. And no driving.
0:44:30 > 0:44:34Certainly no offending and, again, we have got the, you know,
0:44:34 > 0:44:37web pages, Facebook, social networking, Twitter,
0:44:37 > 0:44:40anything like that - you are not allowed any of that. All right?
0:44:40 > 0:44:43You do know that this is an absolute...
0:44:43 > 0:44:46I have never done this before at Glen Parva, OK?
0:44:46 > 0:44:49- You know this is an absolute privilege for you?- Yeah.
0:44:49 > 0:44:52- So, please, don't mess it up... - I won't.
0:44:52 > 0:44:56..and use it for the purpose that you have applied.
0:44:56 > 0:44:59- Yeah.- Well done for getting it. - Thank you very much.- Right,
0:44:59 > 0:45:02- you need to go back in this way cos you need to get searched.- Cheers.
0:45:23 > 0:45:24Freddie, look.
0:45:26 > 0:45:28Let him do it himself or he's going to rub it all over his face.
0:45:28 > 0:45:30Look, he is trying to hide from you.
0:45:30 > 0:45:32It's going everywhere now.
0:45:35 > 0:45:38He is playing hide and seek with his dinner.
0:45:41 > 0:45:44Don't wipe his face. He'll have a fit. He doesn't like it.
0:45:48 > 0:45:51We'll leave that to the end, shall we?
0:45:51 > 0:45:55He has changed a nappy and he has played with him a little bit
0:45:55 > 0:45:56but that's about it.
0:45:56 > 0:45:59What is your assessment?
0:45:59 > 0:46:00Yeah, he's getting there.
0:46:02 > 0:46:05I've got a bit more work to do yet though.
0:46:05 > 0:46:07And you can give him the yoghurt so I can go run a bath.
0:46:07 > 0:46:11Don't get him out of the highchair until I come back down.
0:46:13 > 0:46:15Where's the Petit Filous?
0:46:15 > 0:46:16Can you watch he doesn't choke as well?
0:46:16 > 0:46:21- Becca.- What? Behind you.- Where's the spoons?- Where the spoons are.
0:46:21 > 0:46:25What do you mean where the spoons are? I haven't been here.
0:46:28 > 0:46:32Get one from the washing up bit, the drying bit.
0:46:44 > 0:46:47- Pour this over his head?- No, he will freak out. He doesn't like it.
0:46:47 > 0:46:49He is scared of it so don't.
0:46:49 > 0:46:50# Da-dum... #
0:46:50 > 0:46:52Don't scare him.
0:46:52 > 0:46:53# Da-dum. #
0:47:01 > 0:47:03Are you going up high?
0:47:30 > 0:47:34I love you. Take care.
0:47:34 > 0:47:38- See you soon.- Yeah, give him this one. I love you.- I love you. Bye.
0:47:40 > 0:47:42No good coming back though, is it?
0:47:50 > 0:47:51Go and get your kit off.
0:47:51 > 0:47:53Yeah, I need clothes off. You all right, mate?
0:47:56 > 0:47:57Brace yourself.
0:48:00 > 0:48:03I gave her a cuddle and that outside the prison.
0:48:03 > 0:48:05Had a little chat with her and that.
0:48:06 > 0:48:11But then when the gate opened, I walked in and the gate shut
0:48:11 > 0:48:15and I seen on CCTV and she's driving away, that's when it fucking hit me.
0:48:15 > 0:48:16I just thought, "Fuck."
0:48:17 > 0:48:19It was horrible.
0:48:19 > 0:48:23It was worse than getting sent down in the first place, to be honest.
0:48:23 > 0:48:25I just miss them. I miss them already.
0:48:25 > 0:48:29As soon as that gate closed, that's it, they're cut off from me.
0:48:31 > 0:48:33You know, it's just horrible.
0:48:34 > 0:48:37She is struggling for my mistakes, kind of thing.
0:48:37 > 0:48:41She hasn't done anything bad but she is being punished as well.
0:48:42 > 0:48:46So...it's harder on her than it is on me.
0:48:47 > 0:48:52I suppose it's just reaffirmed that it's what we want
0:48:52 > 0:48:55and we need to just wait a few more months and...
0:48:59 > 0:49:00..then we can start properly.
0:49:02 > 0:49:05The weekend was a bit of a test run to see what is to come.
0:49:08 > 0:49:10- And does it bode well?- Yeah.
0:49:23 > 0:49:26Today Michael Rowley is being released on licence
0:49:26 > 0:49:28after serving 15 months in prison.
0:49:28 > 0:49:32He must live with his mum and obey a strict 9pm curfew.
0:49:36 > 0:49:38I ain't even trying to come back to jail.
0:49:38 > 0:49:40That is definitely not the case.
0:49:42 > 0:49:44Who knows, you get me? Who knows?
0:49:44 > 0:49:48I don't even know myself. You get me? I don't know myself.
0:49:48 > 0:49:51Me saying it and doing it is another thing.
0:49:51 > 0:49:55In a bit, Connor. I'll meet you outside.
0:50:00 > 0:50:03In a bit, boss. In a bit, Miss Hawley, Mr Hayes.
0:50:03 > 0:50:04All right, son, see you later.
0:50:04 > 0:50:06Listen, about half ten, right?
0:50:08 > 0:50:09In a bit.
0:50:09 > 0:50:12'One, obviously, the main thing is don't get caught,
0:50:12 > 0:50:15'no matter what you do. Or you just stop doing it, you get me?'
0:50:18 > 0:50:22'I am going to try and stop. I know I can.'
0:50:31 > 0:50:35Michael has arranged for the mother of his youngest son, Kai,
0:50:35 > 0:50:37to collect him from prison.
0:50:38 > 0:50:42His other son, Rhys, and Josie are waiting at Michael's mum's
0:50:42 > 0:50:45house, where he has agreed to meet them before 3pm.
0:50:50 > 0:50:53Where's Daddy, Rhys? Where's Daddy?
0:50:53 > 0:50:56Gone to Mars.
0:50:56 > 0:50:57Is Daddy a pain?
0:50:58 > 0:51:00Hmm?
0:51:00 > 0:51:02Rhys. Shut the door. See you later.
0:51:02 > 0:51:06Three hours later, Michael still hasn't turned up or called.
0:51:07 > 0:51:09Josie takes Rhys home.
0:51:10 > 0:51:15Finally, he arrives at his mum's house just before his 9pm curfew.
0:51:15 > 0:51:17It's not easy, man.
0:51:20 > 0:51:22You've just got to remember, you've got two kids.
0:51:22 > 0:51:24You've got time that's got to be shared between both of them.
0:51:24 > 0:51:27I know that. I'm going to see Rhys tomorrow.
0:51:30 > 0:51:33They come first with everything else.
0:51:33 > 0:51:35It's not you, your boys or anybody else.
0:51:35 > 0:51:37It's your probation and your kids.
0:51:37 > 0:51:40I just want a couple of days to hurry up and go past, man,
0:51:40 > 0:51:42so I stop feeling weird and that.
0:51:42 > 0:51:46Head's spinning and that and it's not even from the drink.
0:51:46 > 0:51:48When are you planning on speaking to Josie?
0:51:48 > 0:51:51I'll phone her in a bit, man.
0:51:51 > 0:51:53I'm not even in the mood at the moment.
0:51:53 > 0:51:57I just want to chill out, like. Time is going like this.
0:51:57 > 0:52:00Well, it will do, Michael. It's not like inside now.
0:52:00 > 0:52:02You have got all day but time does go quick when you have got
0:52:02 > 0:52:05- so many things to do. - You've not even got all day when
0:52:05 > 0:52:08everything is hitting you at 100 miles an hour.
0:52:08 > 0:52:11I kind of had a feeling in the back of my head that he wouldn't show
0:52:11 > 0:52:14and he didn't so it proved me right
0:52:14 > 0:52:18when really he should have proved me wrong.
0:52:18 > 0:52:21But I would have thought, at least, Rhys would have been his,
0:52:21 > 0:52:26like, first priority as well as Kai, but obviously no.
0:52:26 > 0:52:31He has got other things he feels he needs to do before seeing Rhys
0:52:31 > 0:52:33and he is all like, "Dada? Dada?"
0:52:33 > 0:52:36And I'm like, "Yeah, we are going to see Daddy now."
0:52:36 > 0:52:39And he is like, "Hmm." The little actions he does.
0:52:40 > 0:52:43And, obviously, he hasn't seen his Dada so...
0:52:53 > 0:52:56Michael did come to visit Rhys the following day.
0:52:56 > 0:53:01Three months on, he continues to see his son but on his own terms.
0:53:01 > 0:53:04And how are you managing to divide your time, Michael,
0:53:04 > 0:53:05between your two kids?
0:53:08 > 0:53:09It's hard still.
0:53:10 > 0:53:13Have there been times when you're supposed to come to see Rhys
0:53:13 > 0:53:16- that you haven't managed to make it? - Mm-hm.
0:53:16 > 0:53:19Obviously, it's just fucked, isn't it?
0:53:19 > 0:53:22Obviously, it's my fault, isn't it?
0:53:22 > 0:53:26Did you ever have the experience of your dad not turning up to see you?
0:53:26 > 0:53:29Mm-hm. You really expect your dad to come and he don't come
0:53:29 > 0:53:32and, obviously, you get pissed off, innit?
0:53:35 > 0:53:39- But what do you plan to do from here on in?- Try and make it better.
0:53:47 > 0:53:49He needs to figure himself out cos I truly don't believe that he
0:53:49 > 0:53:53knows who he is or what he wants and what he wants out of life.
0:53:53 > 0:53:58And he has got two kids and he's like, "What do I do?"
0:54:00 > 0:54:03I don't want anyone to walk all over me.
0:54:03 > 0:54:06Like, it's still upsetting but you just don't think about it as much
0:54:06 > 0:54:08cos I'm not living in it any more.
0:54:08 > 0:54:10That's not my life any more.
0:54:10 > 0:54:14'Like, this is my life. Me being happy - that's all that matters.'
0:54:16 > 0:54:18I'm doing me.
0:54:20 > 0:54:22- Thank you.- All right, mate.
0:54:23 > 0:54:27After two years in jail, Max is being transferred to an open prison
0:54:27 > 0:54:32where he will serve the last five months of his sentence.
0:54:32 > 0:54:35'It feels like the next step in the chain, really, doesn't it?
0:54:35 > 0:54:37'Being at home with my missus and my son.
0:54:37 > 0:54:41'Closer in distance and closer as in, like, being free.'
0:54:46 > 0:54:50In a year we'll both be spending our first Christmas together
0:54:50 > 0:54:55and I will be at uni and Freddie will be in nursery
0:54:55 > 0:54:57and hopefully Max will be working
0:54:57 > 0:55:01and we'll just be like a normal family.
0:55:05 > 0:55:10Michael York still has 20 months of his sentence left to serve.
0:55:10 > 0:55:12He and his girlfriend broke up
0:55:12 > 0:55:15shortly after the birth of their child.
0:55:15 > 0:55:18I seen my son once when he were two days old.
0:55:19 > 0:55:22She's not put my name on the birth certificate.
0:55:22 > 0:55:26It's just another thing so I've got no rights to him.
0:55:29 > 0:55:32Obviously, all I can do now is just try my hardest
0:55:32 > 0:55:34and do whatever I can for him.
0:55:34 > 0:55:36He is always in my heart, always in my mind so...
0:55:38 > 0:55:40..nothing will ever take that away.
0:55:40 > 0:55:43Nothing, no matter what he does in life...
0:55:44 > 0:55:47..he will still be my little boy.
0:55:47 > 0:55:49Nothing is going to stop me having a relationship with my son.
0:55:49 > 0:55:53Not going to happen. My son is my son, so...
0:55:55 > 0:55:58..that's how it's going to be.
0:55:58 > 0:56:01Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd