0:00:00 > 0:00:00For a start, there's not just one accent.
0:00:00 > 0:00:01There's not even just one language.
0:00:02 > 0:00:04The delights of the banter, frozen in celluloid!
0:00:04 > 0:00:05Lichts!
0:00:05 > 0:00:08Camera!
0:00:08 > 0:00:09Accents!
0:00:09 > 0:00:12HIS VOICE ECHOES
0:00:12 > 0:00:14Telaww derraw!
0:00:14 > 0:00:16We're doomed!
0:00:17 > 0:00:22Ladies and gentlemen, laddies and lassies, loons and quines,
0:00:22 > 0:00:26tonight we bring you the Scottish accent as you've never heard it
0:00:26 > 0:00:31before, because when Tinseltown paints its tonsils tartan,
0:00:31 > 0:00:33this is what happens.
0:00:35 > 0:00:37Hello.
0:00:37 > 0:00:38You're coming with me.
0:00:38 > 0:00:41Did you know that you were speaking to yourself?
0:00:41 > 0:00:44Well, it just so happens I'm Scottish!
0:00:44 > 0:00:48And if you are a Scotsman, I'm ashamed to call myself one.
0:00:48 > 0:00:50I'll die for Scotland, but not for him!
0:00:50 > 0:00:53This Scottish stuff can be complicated.
0:00:53 > 0:00:55CROWD ROARS
0:00:55 > 0:00:58For nearly 100 years now, international audiences have
0:00:58 > 0:01:01struggled to comprehend our braw brogue.
0:01:01 > 0:01:03Och aye, ach, they can't even understand each other.
0:01:03 > 0:01:08But such accent aberrations were not just confined to the silver screen.
0:01:08 > 0:01:12Ever since a Scotsman invented TV, TV has been inventing Scotsmen.
0:01:12 > 0:01:15You Scots sure are a contentious people.
0:01:15 > 0:01:16You just made an enemy for life!
0:01:16 > 0:01:20HE TALKS IN FAKE SCOTS GIBBERISH
0:01:20 > 0:01:21Pardon, sir? I said...
0:01:21 > 0:01:23HE TALKS IN EVEN FASTER GIBBERISH
0:01:23 > 0:01:26Tonight, we are going on a Scottish accent safari.
0:01:26 > 0:01:29So, lend me your lugs and you'll hear the good...
0:01:29 > 0:01:31Heid! Move!
0:01:31 > 0:01:32..the bad...
0:01:32 > 0:01:35You look like a woman, you stupid haggis! Haggis?
0:01:35 > 0:01:39..and the absolutely bowfing of mock Jock acting.
0:01:39 > 0:01:44A wee, braw flower... for a wee, braw lassie.
0:01:44 > 0:01:48Someone's been mudurd? Aye. Mudurd, aye, mudurd. Mudurd. Mudurd. Mudurd.
0:01:48 > 0:01:50Scotland, lassie.
0:02:14 > 0:02:17It's always been tricky, trying to put an accurate
0:02:17 > 0:02:20depiction of our wee country up on the big screen.
0:02:20 > 0:02:22For a start, there's not just one accent.
0:02:22 > 0:02:24There's not even just one language.
0:02:24 > 0:02:27I mean, we've got Gaelic speaking communities,
0:02:27 > 0:02:31not to mention Chinese, Punjabi, Polish speaking Scots.
0:02:31 > 0:02:36And then, we've got Glaswegian, Dundonian, Doric, Lallans,
0:02:36 > 0:02:39Orcadian, the salt 'n' sauce Scots of the East Coast.
0:02:39 > 0:02:43I tell you, the whole thing is just a grammatical guddle.
0:02:43 > 0:02:46Er, that means a mix, by the way.
0:02:49 > 0:02:53But over the years, the sound of Scotland on screen has been anything but subtle.
0:02:53 > 0:02:57We may lift our heads high and say, "Scotland forever."
0:02:57 > 0:03:01I have come to accept that people who don't hear our accents
0:03:01 > 0:03:07all the time genuinely cannot tell the difference between mine,
0:03:07 > 0:03:10yours and the guy who played Scotty in Star Trek.
0:03:10 > 0:03:12Aye, the haggis is in the fire for sure.
0:03:12 > 0:03:14We will be teaching some keen young actors
0:03:14 > 0:03:16how to speak top-notch Scotch.
0:03:16 > 0:03:19Murdur! Gonnae no' dae that?
0:03:19 > 0:03:23Revisiting the most memorable words ever spoken in Scots.
0:03:23 > 0:03:26That is a brassiere! She's got a brassiere!
0:03:26 > 0:03:28No, I mean...
0:03:28 > 0:03:31But they'll never take our freedom!
0:03:33 > 0:03:36It's a piece of brilliant Hollywood bombast.
0:03:36 > 0:03:39CROWD ROARS
0:03:39 > 0:03:42Everybody paints their faces blue and shows their arse.
0:03:43 > 0:03:46And finding out if we speak funny.
0:03:46 > 0:03:49# C-H-I-P-S
0:03:49 > 0:03:52# I'm talking C-H-I-P-S! #
0:03:52 > 0:03:55'It's not just the accent, it's what is behind the accent
0:03:55 > 0:03:57'which is the character, but then, character is accent.'
0:03:57 > 0:03:59# I... Amazing! #
0:03:59 > 0:04:02It's the campness that allows Gary to get away with murder.
0:04:02 > 0:04:04# Perfection! #
0:04:04 > 0:04:05'He can say, like...'
0:04:05 > 0:04:08"Your auntie's dead, that's shockin'. Listen, check out these new trainers."
0:04:08 > 0:04:11# Oh, oh, oh... #
0:04:11 > 0:04:14And we'll be asking if accent actually matters,
0:04:14 > 0:04:16or do we have a chip on our shoulders?
0:04:16 > 0:04:19She said we could take it out on the lake. That's LOCH!
0:04:19 > 0:04:24But first of all, can we have a little sympathy for the poor actor?
0:04:25 > 0:04:29Well, let the frame of things disjoint.
0:04:31 > 0:04:36See, the thing is, unless you are a genuine Jock,
0:04:36 > 0:04:40putting on a Scottish accent can be a bit like doing your own stunts.
0:04:40 > 0:04:44It's high risk, it's dangerous and it could so easily go wrong
0:04:44 > 0:04:46and destroy your entire career.
0:04:46 > 0:04:50Now, later, we'll be hearing some of the worst Scottish accents
0:04:50 > 0:04:52ever to blight our brogue.
0:04:52 > 0:04:55But let's begin with the good news.
0:04:55 > 0:04:57# I will ride, I will fly... #
0:04:57 > 0:05:01In Scotland, "disnae" means "does not".
0:05:01 > 0:05:04But to the rest of the world, Disney means slightly sugary,
0:05:04 > 0:05:05sentimental cartoons.
0:05:05 > 0:05:09So, when the Scottish fairy tale Brave came out,
0:05:09 > 0:05:11that means a Mickey Mouse Scotland, does it not?
0:05:11 > 0:05:13Naw, it disnae!
0:05:13 > 0:05:17Uh! That scaffy witch gave me a gammy spell!
0:05:18 > 0:05:21Far from laughing at our lingo,
0:05:21 > 0:05:23Disney actually boosted Scots' confidence,
0:05:23 > 0:05:25because speaking in broad Scots is something
0:05:25 > 0:05:29we have been historically self-conscious about.
0:05:29 > 0:05:32'Fraid to muss your pretty hair? At least WE have hair!
0:05:32 > 0:05:36And all our teeth! If he was a wee bitty closer, I could lob a caber at him, ken?
0:05:37 > 0:05:42I was pleasantly surprised by Brave, but the fact that the suitors
0:05:42 > 0:05:46speak various dialects of Scots was fantastic.
0:05:46 > 0:05:48And that's the way it should be.
0:05:48 > 0:05:50And because it was such a great film,
0:05:50 > 0:05:52people made the effort to tune in.
0:05:52 > 0:05:55Here we go, another hunt through the castle.
0:05:55 > 0:05:57We haven't even had dessert yet.
0:05:57 > 0:05:59Since you're saying it and I wasnae there tae see it masel',
0:05:59 > 0:06:01I'll hae tae take yer word fer it.
0:06:01 > 0:06:04HE LAUGHS I have no idea.
0:06:04 > 0:06:08I remember going to see Brave and being really quite surprised,
0:06:08 > 0:06:09and pleasantly surprised,
0:06:09 > 0:06:13by the fact that they had characters speaking in Doric.
0:06:13 > 0:06:15And that while it was obviously, to some extent,
0:06:15 > 0:06:18exaggerated for comic effect, these people weren't being
0:06:18 > 0:06:21laughed at simply because of what they said and how they sounded.
0:06:21 > 0:06:25Actually, quite a lot of the observation, I thought, was pretty spot-on.
0:06:28 > 0:06:32I did some voice work on Brave and what was so fantastic about it
0:06:32 > 0:06:35was that we were all encouraged to use our own accents.
0:06:35 > 0:06:36SHUT IT!
0:06:38 > 0:06:43'I think ever since the political union, Scots looked over
0:06:43 > 0:06:48'their shoulder for approval from the larger culture, from England.'
0:06:49 > 0:06:53I mean, James Boswell saying, "I do indeed come from Scotland, but I cannot help it."
0:06:53 > 0:06:56I mean, that was the beginning of the Scottish cringe.
0:06:56 > 0:06:59Jings, crivvens, help ma boab!
0:06:59 > 0:07:03I think that if Brave had been an all-Scottish production,
0:07:03 > 0:07:05the cringe would have entered the debate,
0:07:05 > 0:07:08and they wouldn't have had the confidence to have such
0:07:08 > 0:07:11full-on Doric and Scots as part of the soundtrack.
0:07:16 > 0:07:19Who would have thought that Disney would crack the accent?
0:07:19 > 0:07:23An almost all-Scottish cast, making a big American blockbuster,
0:07:23 > 0:07:25without cringe or compromise,
0:07:25 > 0:07:31and using real live Scottish words that Scottish folk actually use.
0:07:31 > 0:07:34Michty me! Whae wud ha' thought it?
0:07:34 > 0:07:38But we've come a long, long way since the start of our story.
0:07:38 > 0:07:43Are you sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin.
0:07:43 > 0:07:47MUSIC: "The Burst Mattress" by Sharon Shannon Friends
0:07:48 > 0:07:50Once upon a time,
0:07:50 > 0:07:54the Scots emigrated to the far-flung corners of the world.
0:07:54 > 0:07:57They brought with them their imagination,
0:07:57 > 0:08:01a copy of Robert Burns and probably a wee dod of square sausage.
0:08:03 > 0:08:08In the New World, these Scottish expats exaggerated their stories and
0:08:08 > 0:08:12tried to hold on to what remnants of "Scotch" they could remember.
0:08:12 > 0:08:16Now, Scotchland might have been a wee bit of a hazy memory, but hey,
0:08:16 > 0:08:21in the early days of film-making, it was visually easy to recreate.
0:08:22 > 0:08:25MUSIC: "I belong to Glasgow" By Winifred Atwell
0:08:30 > 0:08:34Hollywood wants to construct this fantastical space, which they
0:08:34 > 0:08:37know doesn't exist, but they are not particularly
0:08:37 > 0:08:41interested in the authenticity of history, or the authenticity
0:08:41 > 0:08:45of anyone's voice, but one of the things I think you have to
0:08:45 > 0:08:47recognise is that Scots were complicit in this.
0:08:47 > 0:08:53That Scots went to the States and presented caricatures of themselves.
0:08:53 > 0:08:56So, you can't really be surprised if Hollywood picks them up,
0:08:56 > 0:08:59puts them on the screen and then throws them back at you.
0:09:26 > 0:09:29And then, the talkies came along, and inevitably,
0:09:29 > 0:09:32Hollywood tried out its Scotch.
0:09:32 > 0:09:36That was great, except it wasn't a voice that anyone in Scotland
0:09:36 > 0:09:37would have recognised.
0:09:37 > 0:09:39MUSIC PLAYING IN DISTANCE
0:09:39 > 0:09:43Hang on. What's that wee village over there?
0:09:43 > 0:09:46# Brigadoon... #
0:09:46 > 0:09:48I can see a wee Highland village,
0:09:48 > 0:09:52full of strange, unrealistic Scottish people!
0:09:52 > 0:09:54COW MOOS
0:09:54 > 0:09:59# Brigadoon, Brigadoon... #
0:10:01 > 0:10:04It very clearly announces itself as a fantasy,
0:10:04 > 0:10:07and that is reflected in the Scotland that we hear
0:10:07 > 0:10:10and also the Scotland that we see on screen in the film.
0:10:10 > 0:10:17# Once in the Highlands, the Highlands of Scotland... #
0:10:17 > 0:10:20Arthur Freed, who at that point was the head of the famous
0:10:20 > 0:10:23musicals unit at MGM, spent quite a long time scouting
0:10:23 > 0:10:25locations in the country, and famously,
0:10:25 > 0:10:30and perhaps apocryphally, declared that he couldn't find
0:10:30 > 0:10:32anywhere in Scotland that looked like Scotland.
0:10:32 > 0:10:36So, they built the sets from scratch on a Burbank backlot.
0:10:36 > 0:10:38And of course, if you can't find anywhere that
0:10:38 > 0:10:40looks like Scotland in Scotland,
0:10:40 > 0:10:43then I think you don't start to worry about people who
0:10:43 > 0:10:45sound like Scotland.
0:10:45 > 0:10:47Jean! Come away from the winda!
0:10:47 > 0:10:51I'm trying to see Charlie. I know you are, and you are not supposed to.
0:10:54 > 0:10:57In some ways, Brigadoon was prophetic.
0:10:57 > 0:11:01A hammy, Highland vision of Scotland does mysteriously reappear
0:11:01 > 0:11:02again and again.
0:11:02 > 0:11:06It's a strange place that nobody can ever find, and where its simple,
0:11:06 > 0:11:10tartan-clad inhabitants speak in strange trills and toots.
0:11:10 > 0:11:12Sshh! Sorry.
0:11:16 > 0:11:18This is my wedding day, laddie,
0:11:18 > 0:11:21you are my invited guests, help yourselves.
0:11:21 > 0:11:24The showbiz Scotch accent was treated as a hilarious
0:11:24 > 0:11:26high jump for Hollywood stars.
0:11:26 > 0:11:29In films like The Little Minister,
0:11:29 > 0:11:33Katharine Hepburn struggled to sound like a seductive Scottish Gypsy.
0:11:33 > 0:11:37It would be nice to be able to speak for a whole hour to people who
0:11:37 > 0:11:39can neither answer nor run away.
0:11:39 > 0:11:42I've noticed that when they tried to represent Scotland in Hollywood,
0:11:42 > 0:11:46they used the words "laddies" and "lassies" as kind of punctuation.
0:11:46 > 0:11:49Cos you're a lad and I'm a lass.
0:11:49 > 0:11:51Can you imagine them on a climbing wall,
0:11:51 > 0:11:55tackling the Scottish accent? And if we're being honest, it's a very hard accent to crack.
0:11:55 > 0:11:59Aye, that she is. If I can get to the next "laddies", I'll be fine.
0:11:59 > 0:12:00Where is old Jock, laddie?
0:12:00 > 0:12:01DOG BARKS
0:12:01 > 0:12:04To me, those films, whilst being entertaining,
0:12:04 > 0:12:08are the same as the shops I see in Edinburgh that sell kilted towels.
0:12:08 > 0:12:11They have as much relevance to, I think, Scotland, as that.
0:12:11 > 0:12:14Lassie! Mind who you're speaking to.
0:12:14 > 0:12:19I think that came out of the music hall tradition of comics using
0:12:19 > 0:12:24dialects in their songs and in their stage act. But...
0:12:24 > 0:12:27I mean, I use "lassies" and "laddies" and "d'ye ken?"
0:12:27 > 0:12:30That was my everyday language, growing up.
0:12:33 > 0:12:34And in The Barkleys of Broadway,
0:12:34 > 0:12:37Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers showed us
0:12:37 > 0:12:40that even if they could walk the walk, talking the talk
0:12:40 > 0:12:43was r-r-r-really, r-r-r-really tr-r-r-ricky.
0:12:47 > 0:12:50Though we are called a people of serious mind,
0:12:50 > 0:12:53'tis often we dance and 'tis often we sing.
0:12:53 > 0:12:55'Well, firstly, it's Fred and Ginger,
0:12:55 > 0:12:59'looking fantastic in tweed and tartan.'
0:12:59 > 0:13:03OK, they sound as if they come from Mars, but it kind of doesn't
0:13:03 > 0:13:07matter, because it is an act, within an act, within an act.
0:13:09 > 0:13:13So, they get away with it, because you are not expected to
0:13:13 > 0:13:18believe that that is how they might actually talk in real life.
0:13:18 > 0:13:21# Hopin', watchin', waitin'
0:13:21 > 0:13:25# For the r-r-real, r-r-real thing... #
0:13:25 > 0:13:27'It's a classic example of the idea
0:13:27 > 0:13:30'that the accent is there to be performed.'
0:13:30 > 0:13:33And it is basically scripted around the premise of,
0:13:33 > 0:13:37how many times can we get them to pronounce a word that has R?
0:13:37 > 0:13:40# The years I'll weather-r-r-r
0:13:40 > 0:13:43# In the hame or on the heather-r-r-r
0:13:43 > 0:13:47# With me one and only Heilan' fling. #
0:13:47 > 0:13:51'Shortbread tinnery? Yes, it's lovely, isn't it?'
0:13:51 > 0:13:56And the thing is, I do like it. I know that it's shortbread tinnery, but I love shortbread!
0:14:00 > 0:14:02Oh, I'd love a taste of Ginger.
0:14:05 > 0:14:09The point is, if you are a 1950s cigar-chomping Hollywood mogul,
0:14:09 > 0:14:13you don't care what audiences in Alloa or Islay or Inverness
0:14:13 > 0:14:15think about your Scottish accent.
0:14:15 > 0:14:17You care about the people in the American Midwest.
0:14:17 > 0:14:20BAGPIPES PLAYING
0:14:20 > 0:14:23Hollywood just wasn't interested in realistic Scottish accents.
0:14:23 > 0:14:26It wanted to hear storybook Scotland,
0:14:26 > 0:14:33an ancient land of castles, bagpipes and wee dugs.
0:14:33 > 0:14:35Then and now,
0:14:35 > 0:14:39Hollywood sees the Scottish burr as a kind of a fairy tale accent.
0:14:39 > 0:14:42Ancient, charming, whimsical.
0:14:42 > 0:14:44And I suppose we really should be flattered,
0:14:44 > 0:14:47because they tend to give the English accents to the baddies,
0:14:47 > 0:14:50whereas we have an underdog accent,
0:14:50 > 0:14:53that is considered humorous and trustworthy.
0:14:53 > 0:14:58Attention, all...fairy tale things!
0:14:58 > 0:15:00To this day, there are lots
0:15:00 > 0:15:03of fantasy characters with Scots accents.
0:15:03 > 0:15:06In fact, I'm going to see this guy Farquaad right now
0:15:06 > 0:15:09and get you all off my land and back where you came from!
0:15:11 > 0:15:14CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:15:14 > 0:15:16The Princess tends to have a nice accent.
0:15:16 > 0:15:21Then the Hobbit and the ogre and all the short, ginger people...
0:15:21 > 0:15:22GLUGGING
0:15:22 > 0:15:25..the ugly ones, really, are Scottish.
0:15:25 > 0:15:27RAUCOUS LAUGHTER AND CHEERING
0:15:27 > 0:15:31You rarely get a handsome prince from Paisley.
0:15:31 > 0:15:32In that case, lead on.
0:15:32 > 0:15:34'When it comes to films like The Hobbit,'
0:15:34 > 0:15:40you will notice that Scottish accents usually signify lower class.
0:15:40 > 0:15:42Does he offer us insult?
0:15:42 > 0:15:45So, the dwarves, for example, have Scottish accents,
0:15:45 > 0:15:49because they are considered uncouth and barbarous.
0:15:49 > 0:15:52Whereas Gandalf and Saruman...
0:15:52 > 0:15:55PLUMMY ENGLISH ACCENT: ..speak with these very, very
0:15:55 > 0:15:56important English accents.
0:15:56 > 0:16:00No, Master Gloin, he is offering you food.
0:16:00 > 0:16:03But possibly, the most famous fantasy Scotsman ever
0:16:03 > 0:16:05comes not from an old fairy tale...
0:16:07 > 0:16:09..but from the future, Captain!
0:16:09 > 0:16:13Something like Star Trek, you are talking about a cross-section
0:16:13 > 0:16:15of the human race being sent into space.
0:16:15 > 0:16:18There was a Scot there, so why are we complaining?
0:16:18 > 0:16:19I didn't see any Lithuanians!
0:16:19 > 0:16:23The ship is yours, take care of her until I come back.
0:16:23 > 0:16:26Aye-aye, sir, and have a bonnie trip.
0:16:26 > 0:16:28He was a proper engineer, he kept the thing going,
0:16:28 > 0:16:31and also, it was kind of a throwback to the engineering
0:16:31 > 0:16:34tradition of the Scots, so there was a very, very slight,
0:16:34 > 0:16:36slaver-thin history lesson there.
0:16:36 > 0:16:39Well, now, what do you think of that?
0:16:39 > 0:16:41'It wasnae that good an accent.'
0:16:41 > 0:16:44Was Scotty not supposed to be from Linlithgow or something like that?
0:16:44 > 0:16:46Start forming shore parties immediately.
0:16:46 > 0:16:48And then, years later, the real Linlithgow wanted to have
0:16:48 > 0:16:52a plaque, for a guy fae the future that didnae really exist.
0:16:52 > 0:16:56Laddie, don't you think
0:16:56 > 0:16:58you should rephrase that?
0:16:58 > 0:17:01We might snigger at Scotty's strangled attempts at patter.
0:17:01 > 0:17:06But we are just not used to the idea of Scots boldly going anywhere.
0:17:06 > 0:17:11A spaceship full of Scots? No!
0:17:11 > 0:17:13Cap'n! What noo?
0:17:13 > 0:17:16There's a richt big hoor o' a spaceship comin' towards us!
0:17:16 > 0:17:18Ye want tae see the basturtin' size o' the thing,
0:17:18 > 0:17:21it's a gid yin or twa sizes bigger than oors, ken?
0:17:21 > 0:17:23Set phasers tae malky.
0:17:30 > 0:17:33Scots is a good accent for ancient tales and fantasy worlds,
0:17:33 > 0:17:37but it is a tough gig for actors who have never sampled the real thing.
0:17:37 > 0:17:40Your tongue is about the size of your hand...
0:17:40 > 0:17:42'I joined a group of game young thesps
0:17:42 > 0:17:45'at the Actors' Studio in London, as they tried to get
0:17:45 > 0:17:48'their tongue around Glaswegian for the very first time.'
0:17:48 > 0:17:53What we are going to do today is get you all started in the right
0:17:53 > 0:17:57direction for a Scottish accent. And when a Scottish person does an R,
0:17:57 > 0:17:59they curl their tongue back a little bit more.
0:17:59 > 0:18:01Just say, "Curl girl."
0:18:01 > 0:18:02ALL: Curl girl.
0:18:02 > 0:18:05And your tongue should stick just a little bit behind your teeth.
0:18:05 > 0:18:08Let's try, "There's a moose loose aboot this hoose."
0:18:08 > 0:18:10There's a moose loose abou...
0:18:10 > 0:18:12THEY LAUGH
0:18:12 > 0:18:14There's a moose loose aboot the hoose.
0:18:14 > 0:18:18There is a moose loose about the hoose. Aboot. Aboot the hoose.
0:18:18 > 0:18:22Let's just try "murrdur". We say "murder" in RP and it's boring.
0:18:22 > 0:18:27TOGETHER: Murrdur. Murrdur. Perfect. So, "murrdur" is almost 2 words.
0:18:27 > 0:18:32Murr-durr. Thank you! Could you do this for us, Alex, please?
0:18:32 > 0:18:35What would you like to hear? "Ach, away and boil your heid."
0:18:35 > 0:18:37Ach, away an' bile yer heid!
0:18:37 > 0:18:38THEY LAUGH
0:18:38 > 0:18:41Ach, away and bile yer head!
0:18:41 > 0:18:43THEY LAUGH
0:18:43 > 0:18:47Ach, away an' bile yer heid! Och, away and beel yer heid! Bile.
0:18:47 > 0:18:49Bile yer...ye head.
0:18:49 > 0:18:54More dismissive, like somebody's really in your face. Ach, away an' bile yer heid!
0:18:54 > 0:18:56CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:18:56 > 0:18:58Oh, I thought it was a guy at the bar!
0:18:58 > 0:19:02All right, now here's a quick lesson in Glaswegian.
0:19:02 > 0:19:09Gies three fish suppers an' a can o' Irn Bru, please, Margaret.
0:19:09 > 0:19:13Gizz three fish suppers and a can of Irn Bru, please, Margaret.
0:19:13 > 0:19:16Gie us three fish suppers and a can...
0:19:16 > 0:19:19Aargh! ..And a can o' Irn Bru, please, Margaret.
0:19:19 > 0:19:23Gie us three fish suppers and a can of Irn Bru, please, Margaret.
0:19:23 > 0:19:25CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Good, OK.
0:19:25 > 0:19:27Gonnae no' dae that?
0:19:27 > 0:19:31Gonnae no' do that? In Glasgow, they would say "dae" for "do".
0:19:31 > 0:19:33Gonnae no' dae that?
0:19:33 > 0:19:34Gonnae no' dae that?
0:19:34 > 0:19:37There is a sound at the end of the "aah",
0:19:37 > 0:19:39it doesn't just end on "thaa".
0:19:39 > 0:19:43Gonnae no' dae that? Gonnae no' dae that?
0:19:43 > 0:19:46Pretty good, eh? That's nice.
0:19:46 > 0:19:49It's a braw, bricht, moonlicht nicht, the nicht.
0:19:49 > 0:19:53It's a braw, bricht, moonlicht nicht, the nicht.
0:19:53 > 0:19:57It's a braw, bricht, moonlicht nicht, the nicht.
0:19:57 > 0:20:02It's a brawl, bracht, moonlacht nach... nicht tonight.
0:20:02 > 0:20:08It's a braw, bricht, moonlicht nit... Nicht. Nicked.
0:20:08 > 0:20:10It's a braw, bracht, moonlacht nacht, the nacht.
0:20:10 > 0:20:13THEY LAUGH
0:20:13 > 0:20:15I think you can give yourselves a big round of applause.
0:20:20 > 0:20:23Micah, do you think the Scottish viewers at home would forgive us
0:20:23 > 0:20:26for trying out their Scottish accents?
0:20:26 > 0:20:29Och, well, at least we're giving it a go! Aye!
0:20:29 > 0:20:31THEY LAUGH
0:20:31 > 0:20:34Which part are you from? I'm from Go-van. Where are you from?
0:20:34 > 0:20:38I'm from Partick. Fantastic, well, it's lovely to meet you. You, too.
0:20:38 > 0:20:42Ach, even Americans are learning to speak with a Scottish accent.
0:20:42 > 0:20:47Ach, it's brilliant, they can do it nae bother an' all.
0:20:49 > 0:20:53Ach, we've totally cracked this accent. Aye, that was easy.
0:20:53 > 0:20:56Let's go and audition for a big Scottish film.
0:21:04 > 0:21:06Now, one of the reasons the Scottish accent was
0:21:06 > 0:21:10so hard to master was because it was so rarely heard.
0:21:10 > 0:21:14In the early days of the BBC under Lord Reith, himself a Scot,
0:21:14 > 0:21:19it was decreed that RP, received pronunciation,
0:21:19 > 0:21:24was now to be the standard for exemplary English.
0:21:24 > 0:21:25That is the end of the news.
0:21:26 > 0:21:29Your BBC men
0:21:29 > 0:21:34all spoke, and presumably were conditioned to speak,
0:21:34 > 0:21:38in a sort of educated, Southern English voice.
0:21:38 > 0:21:43Why was it that you wanted them all to speak like that,
0:21:43 > 0:21:48rather than in some rich, regional way, like as you do, yourself?
0:21:50 > 0:21:54Do I speak, very definitely, Scots, do you think?
0:21:54 > 0:21:56Oh, very. Look, I can still talk,
0:21:56 > 0:22:00myself, as broad Glasgow as anybody you would hear, do you see?
0:22:00 > 0:22:03But I don't think I should talk like that on the wireless.
0:22:05 > 0:22:07This was the Queen's English,
0:22:07 > 0:22:10despite the fact that even then, less than 3% of the UK
0:22:10 > 0:22:13population would have spoken like Betty Windsor.
0:22:13 > 0:22:17What do you think of television coming to these parts, Mrs McIntyre?
0:22:17 > 0:22:19Well, I think it will be super, you know,
0:22:19 > 0:22:23because there is no other alternative of amusement.
0:22:26 > 0:22:29But Scotland was about to get its own BBC.
0:22:29 > 0:22:31This is the Kirk O'Shotts TV transmitter,
0:22:31 > 0:22:37and it was from here in 1952 that BBC Scotland began broadcasting.
0:22:37 > 0:22:38Cue action, please.
0:22:40 > 0:22:43It was the dawn of a new era.
0:22:43 > 0:22:47People from Scotland would make programmes for people in Scotland.
0:22:47 > 0:22:50At last, a chance for Scotland to find its true voice
0:22:50 > 0:22:54and rid itself of all that Brigadoon malarkey once and for all.
0:22:56 > 0:23:00ACCORDION MUSIC PLAYS
0:23:00 > 0:23:02Well, good evening, friends, and welcome.
0:23:02 > 0:23:05You know, I've been promising my friend Alec here a good feed
0:23:05 > 0:23:08of salt herring and tatties for some time, and I've just got round to it.
0:23:11 > 0:23:16Clearly, 1950s BBC Scotland wasn't all about cutting-edge realism.
0:23:16 > 0:23:18And most of the time, it spoke in accordance with Lord Reith's
0:23:18 > 0:23:20idea of a refined voice.
0:23:20 > 0:23:25What was christened "BBC Scots", the voice of authority.
0:23:25 > 0:23:28Here is the Scottish news summary.
0:23:28 > 0:23:31The Provost of Greenock has said that an Admiralty statement
0:23:31 > 0:23:34issued this morning has not overcome fears about the future
0:23:34 > 0:23:37of the Royal Naval torpedo establishment in the town.
0:23:37 > 0:23:40It would be really quite a good idea
0:23:40 > 0:23:42if you went back to the Reithian principle
0:23:42 > 0:23:47of having a national pronunciation which we all understand.
0:23:47 > 0:23:51Scottish standard English was, and remains,
0:23:51 > 0:23:56the default accent of the BBC North of the border.
0:23:56 > 0:24:00Our first sight of the batteries of lights and the boom microphones
0:24:00 > 0:24:04and the creeping cameras, of course, so, we've a lot to do.
0:24:05 > 0:24:08Right, standby, all in the studio.
0:24:08 > 0:24:11Och, they are getting on like a house on fire!
0:24:11 > 0:24:14'Right from the beginning of broadcasting, we are completely
0:24:14 > 0:24:19'used to seeing dialect in comedy, also dialect for drama was fine.'
0:24:19 > 0:24:21If something is serious, it's usually delivered in
0:24:21 > 0:24:24standard English, with a regional standard accent.
0:24:24 > 0:24:26KLAXON SOUNDS
0:24:26 > 0:24:29This is direct television from the studios at Alexandra Palace.
0:24:29 > 0:24:32A Scottish accent was considered uncouth.
0:24:32 > 0:24:35And a Scottish working-class accent?
0:24:35 > 0:24:38Well, just pure forget about it, pal.
0:24:38 > 0:24:40I'm speaking to you at the moment
0:24:40 > 0:24:43from a studio in Broadcasting House in Glasgow.
0:24:43 > 0:24:44And actually,
0:24:44 > 0:24:48that's a sleight-of-hand on behalf of the powers that be, because their
0:24:48 > 0:24:52language is a dialect, it's just a dialect used by people in power.
0:24:52 > 0:24:56This is London calling. Here is the news, read by Hugh Myers.
0:24:56 > 0:25:01We associate truth with standard English and English accents,
0:25:01 > 0:25:05and the posher the accent gets, the more we associate that with truth.
0:25:06 > 0:25:09But not everyone's up for an accent revolution.
0:25:09 > 0:25:12BRIAN SEWELL: I have travelled extensively,
0:25:12 > 0:25:15and I have talked to persons who have spoken really very good English,
0:25:15 > 0:25:19and they have learned it entirely from the BBC.
0:25:19 > 0:25:24And God save them from having to learn Glaswegian!
0:25:24 > 0:25:27Aye, whatever you say yersel', big man.
0:25:27 > 0:25:30The problem was, there were competing ideas of what
0:25:30 > 0:25:31"real Scotland" sounded like.
0:25:31 > 0:25:34Tonight, Talkback is in Glasgow, before a Scottish audience.
0:25:34 > 0:25:37We did find one file growing that we really didn't expect.
0:25:37 > 0:25:40People living in Scotland, who objected to this.
0:25:40 > 0:25:45MUSIC: "Mhairi's Wedding"
0:25:49 > 0:25:52Throughout the '60s, Scotland continued heuching and teuching,
0:25:52 > 0:25:55and although many people adored the traditional image,
0:25:55 > 0:25:59a new generation dared to ask for more.
0:25:59 > 0:26:01You know, it's stage Scots, it's not real.
0:26:01 > 0:26:07It's blatantly not Scottish, I mean, to people in Scotland, anyway.
0:26:07 > 0:26:09# I'm Sandy McKay I'm Andy McKay
0:26:09 > 0:26:10# Two Highland lads are we
0:26:10 > 0:26:13# I'm Sandy McKay I'm Andy McKay
0:26:13 > 0:26:14# We're happy as can be... #
0:26:14 > 0:26:18As kitchen-sink dramas began to emerge elsewhere, Scotland
0:26:18 > 0:26:22and its White Heather Club waltzed on, through 1965, to '66,
0:26:22 > 0:26:25to '67, to '68,
0:26:25 > 0:26:27with skirls and lilts and jigs
0:26:27 > 0:26:30and Jimmy Shand and accordions and tartan and...
0:26:30 > 0:26:32STOP!
0:26:32 > 0:26:36After years of being drowned out by bagpipes and accordions,
0:26:36 > 0:26:38Scotland spoke.
0:26:39 > 0:26:42McCafferty!
0:26:42 > 0:26:44Your tea's oot!
0:26:46 > 0:26:48Come ahead, McQuillan!
0:26:48 > 0:26:53In the mid-70s, Peter McDougall wrote a trilogy of BBC plays that
0:26:53 > 0:26:56revelled in the drunk and disorderly world of the Glasgow hard man.
0:26:56 > 0:26:59Gie them something to listen tae!
0:27:01 > 0:27:04This was working-class, West Coast Scotland.
0:27:04 > 0:27:08Sectarianism, alcohol, violence, contemporary Scottish life,
0:27:08 > 0:27:09warts and all.
0:27:09 > 0:27:11And one of the main reasons it worked was
0:27:11 > 0:27:14it spoke in an authentic voice.
0:27:14 > 0:27:18The grittiness wasn't forced or contrived, it was genuinely
0:27:18 > 0:27:21the way these guys were, the way the streets were, the way it was
0:27:21 > 0:27:25shot, and especially the way it was written, which was brilliant.
0:27:26 > 0:27:28Take it easy, hen.
0:27:28 > 0:27:30I didnae notice you, did I?
0:27:30 > 0:27:33Did ye no'? No, I didnae, did I?
0:27:33 > 0:27:35I don't know, dae I?
0:27:35 > 0:27:37Well, I didnae! Ya shite!
0:27:37 > 0:27:40Oh, aye. Lend us yer face tae haunt a hoose!
0:27:42 > 0:27:43I think there is a whole load of writers,
0:27:43 > 0:27:45whether it be drama or comedy,
0:27:45 > 0:27:48when McDougall's stuff started to appear, you realised that you could
0:27:48 > 0:27:53actually write in that style, in the language that you were hearing.
0:27:53 > 0:27:54That's ma bird.
0:27:54 > 0:27:58And it didn't diminish the drama, it actually enhanced it.
0:27:58 > 0:28:00Serves ye right.
0:28:00 > 0:28:01So glad ye weighed in!
0:28:03 > 0:28:07Move, ya tube! Make way for a living legend.
0:28:07 > 0:28:11I think the most powerful example of me seeing something
0:28:11 > 0:28:16and being shocked by how recognisable and familiar
0:28:16 > 0:28:19and how real those accents were was by Peter McDougall,
0:28:19 > 0:28:23which I was absolutely gripped by.
0:28:23 > 0:28:25Gies 5p or get aff ma bus.
0:28:25 > 0:28:29Hen, I wouldnae gie ye the pickings of ma nose if ye were starvin'.
0:28:29 > 0:28:33All of it, the acting, the direction, the writing, all that came together brilliantly.
0:28:33 > 0:28:36I'll have you know I'm a Catholic, no' a Pape!
0:28:36 > 0:28:40Aye, yer all mince, missus. I hope your driver's a Pape, too.
0:28:40 > 0:28:44It was just a wonderful piece, and it changed, I think,
0:28:44 > 0:28:46my whole attitude to television drama,
0:28:46 > 0:28:48the fact that you could actually do that.
0:28:50 > 0:28:54Throughout the '70s and '80s, there was a flowering of TV dramas
0:28:54 > 0:28:58with Scottish accents, in Scottish situations.
0:28:58 > 0:29:01With characters who spoke, ate, lived, cursed, laughed
0:29:01 > 0:29:04and carried on like us.
0:29:04 > 0:29:06Tutti Frutti gave us rock 'n' roll characters
0:29:06 > 0:29:08wi' a gallus Glasgow swagger.
0:29:08 > 0:29:12# A wop-bop-a-loo-bop, a lop-bam-boom! #
0:29:12 > 0:29:14CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:29:14 > 0:29:16I think the characters in Tutti Frutti were
0:29:16 > 0:29:19very complex and conflicted.
0:29:19 > 0:29:22One more remark about left-hand rolls and tryouts
0:29:22 > 0:29:24and your ugly kisser is going straight through that windscreen!
0:29:24 > 0:29:28'They weren't defined by the fact they were Glaswegian working class,'
0:29:28 > 0:29:31what defined them was, you know, what they wanted,
0:29:31 > 0:29:34what they were interested in, what their passions were.
0:29:34 > 0:29:37What's the word? Stylish.
0:29:37 > 0:29:39Sophisticated. Intelligent.
0:29:39 > 0:29:41No, no.
0:29:41 > 0:29:43Gallus.
0:29:43 > 0:29:46I like being gallus, so there!
0:29:46 > 0:29:48'One of Janice's main attractions was, she didn't
0:29:48 > 0:29:50'care about what other people thought of her,'
0:29:50 > 0:29:54so that was really liberating, and she was a nippy sweetie
0:29:54 > 0:29:56and she was incredibly deadpan.
0:29:56 > 0:29:59So there wasn't a lot of upward inflection!
0:29:59 > 0:30:02Here! Do you mind, sweetheart? Dae I mind what?
0:30:02 > 0:30:05Standing here like an idiot, holding on to the slack of your bum,
0:30:05 > 0:30:08when I could be downstairs, having a large gin and tonic?
0:30:08 > 0:30:10What do you think? Pay no attention to Miss Toner, Danny.
0:30:10 > 0:30:14She's gonnae get her jotters when we get back. Just try it!
0:30:14 > 0:30:16# A wop-bop-a-loo-bop, a lop-bam-boom! #
0:30:16 > 0:30:18Of course, not everybody got it.
0:30:18 > 0:30:22In fact, some folk didn't even understand our drama.
0:30:22 > 0:30:24HE SIGHS
0:30:24 > 0:30:25First, Tutti Frutti,
0:30:25 > 0:30:28or "Tooty Frooty", as they call it North of the border.
0:30:28 > 0:30:31Well, I couldn't understand it, I did find the Scottish accent...
0:30:31 > 0:30:34I know it's snobbish, but it was so thick that quite a lot of words,
0:30:34 > 0:30:36I just couldn't understand what was being said.
0:30:36 > 0:30:40I have a real problem with television and accents,
0:30:40 > 0:30:44because if they are so thick that I can't understand what's being said,
0:30:44 > 0:30:46there is no point in watching or listening.
0:30:46 > 0:30:48You don't know what you're talking about.
0:30:48 > 0:30:51Glasgow is the one that I really don't understand, it's too thick.
0:30:51 > 0:30:55It's oor language, we'll dae what the bloody hell we want wi' it!
0:30:55 > 0:30:59Edinburgh seems to me to have a rather mean, thin...
0:31:01 > 0:31:03..unpleasant sort of accent.
0:31:03 > 0:31:05Are you kidding me on, or what?
0:31:05 > 0:31:07I seem to remember being in Dundee once,
0:31:07 > 0:31:09and finding that fairly unpleasant.
0:31:09 > 0:31:12Sorry, pal, didn't get any of that.
0:31:14 > 0:31:16When people don't understand something,
0:31:16 > 0:31:20they often criticise it or make a cheap joke of it.
0:31:20 > 0:31:23So, the Scottish accent was considered very funny indeed.
0:31:23 > 0:31:26Hold on to your sides(!)
0:31:26 > 0:31:32A wee tattie bogle! D'ye ken? The noo! Fur auld lang syne.
0:31:32 > 0:31:33And no messing!
0:31:33 > 0:31:35You must be English tourists, eh?
0:31:37 > 0:31:41HE SPEAKS IN FAKE SCOTS GIBBERISH
0:31:41 > 0:31:43..Touch and go!
0:31:43 > 0:31:46I'd rather go to bed with the Loch Lomond Monster!
0:31:46 > 0:31:51Oh, God. Fortune vomits on my eiderdown once more.
0:31:52 > 0:31:57Once again, it fell to film-makers in Scotland, because the Scottish
0:31:57 > 0:32:02accent isn't the joke, the joke is just funnier in our Scottish accent.
0:32:07 > 0:32:10The 1980s was a bit of a boom time for the Scottish film industry.
0:32:10 > 0:32:13In particular, Bill Forsyth gave us
0:32:13 > 0:32:16three memorable films that made us proud of our accent
0:32:16 > 0:32:22and proud of where we came from, so cue jazz, rain and glaikitness.
0:32:22 > 0:32:27MUSIC: "Gregory's Girl Main Theme" by Colin Tully
0:32:31 > 0:32:34That Sinking Feeling, Gregory's Girl
0:32:34 > 0:32:38and Local Hero were authentically Scottish,
0:32:38 > 0:32:39charming and funny.
0:32:39 > 0:32:41Bill Forsyth captured the pauses
0:32:41 > 0:32:43and hesitancy of being an awkward
0:32:43 > 0:32:46adolescent in 1980s Scotland.
0:32:48 > 0:32:50Hello, darlin'! All right there, darlin', eh?
0:32:50 > 0:32:53'If you had grown up in the West of Scotland,'
0:32:53 > 0:32:56you'd lusted after girls in exactly that way.
0:32:57 > 0:33:01And what Bill Forsyth really captured was the way people spoke
0:33:01 > 0:33:03without saying anything.
0:33:03 > 0:33:04Good afternoon.
0:33:09 > 0:33:10Do you know
0:33:10 > 0:33:11that when you sneeze,
0:33:11 > 0:33:13it comes out your nose at 100mph?
0:33:15 > 0:33:17It's a well-known fact.
0:33:17 > 0:33:20100mph. Poofft!
0:33:20 > 0:33:22Just like that.
0:33:22 > 0:33:25'They tried to say something, that they really meant,
0:33:25 > 0:33:28'that was the heart's desire to speak, and they couldn't say it,'
0:33:28 > 0:33:32and it was all this, this nonsense, and that's a very Glaswegian thing.
0:33:32 > 0:33:35See you later, Gregory, OK? How, where are you going?
0:33:35 > 0:33:39Well, I just want to stay here a wee bit longer and watch the traffic.
0:33:39 > 0:33:42I like looking at the big trucks.
0:33:42 > 0:33:43Hah!
0:33:44 > 0:33:48Like, do you know that at least 12 tonnes of cornflakes passes
0:33:48 > 0:33:50under here every day? Really?
0:33:50 > 0:33:53It's a well-known fact. Huh! Gee! Is it?
0:33:53 > 0:33:58Never knew that. I'll see you later. Yeah, see you.
0:33:59 > 0:34:03The films celebrated small-town Scottish voices,
0:34:03 > 0:34:07but they were so odd and charming, they had a universal appeal.
0:34:07 > 0:34:11That was exactly how it was written, and that's exactly how we spoke,
0:34:11 > 0:34:14there was no worries, no problems,
0:34:14 > 0:34:19nobody telling us that they couldnae understand what we were saying.
0:34:19 > 0:34:23Have you got any plasters in here? Oh! There's none next door.
0:34:23 > 0:34:25No. Maybe.
0:34:25 > 0:34:27I'll get some.
0:34:27 > 0:34:30Don't panic, it's just a scratch.
0:34:30 > 0:34:33I only want to save my tights getting blood on them.
0:34:33 > 0:34:37'Gregory's Girl came along, that was much more like my world.'
0:34:37 > 0:34:41And that was joyous, actually, to hear people being quite
0:34:41 > 0:34:45naturally funny in a character driven way, we're not laughing at their accent.
0:34:45 > 0:34:49We're laughing at what they are saying, because it's funny, it's natural.
0:34:49 > 0:34:52And they happen to be in this geographical location.
0:34:54 > 0:34:56I'm in love.
0:34:56 > 0:35:00Since when? About half an hour ago.
0:35:00 > 0:35:06It's great. I feel restless and I'm dizzy. It's wonderful.
0:35:06 > 0:35:08'That's not a film about being Scottish,
0:35:08 > 0:35:12'that's a film about being a teenager and trying to find love.'
0:35:12 > 0:35:14And in that way, it's the same
0:35:14 > 0:35:16as Pretty in Pink, or Sixteen Candles,
0:35:16 > 0:35:17it's just we've got Scottish accents.
0:35:17 > 0:35:19Someone in the football team.
0:35:19 > 0:35:21Really? Yeah.
0:35:21 > 0:35:24Have you told anyone else about this?
0:35:24 > 0:35:26Probably just a phase.
0:35:26 > 0:35:29Who is it? Andy?
0:35:29 > 0:35:31No, it's Dorothy! She's a girl. Oh.
0:35:31 > 0:35:34In an act of unforgivable vandalism,
0:35:34 > 0:35:37Gregory's Girl and That Sinking Feeling
0:35:37 > 0:35:40were both redubbed with posh Scottish accents
0:35:40 > 0:35:42for their international release.
0:35:44 > 0:35:48So, here is the original...
0:35:48 > 0:35:49I've been thinking.
0:35:49 > 0:35:53You know that Irn Bru factory up the road, up the cross? Aye.
0:35:53 > 0:35:54It's a natural for a hit.
0:35:54 > 0:35:56THEY MUTTER AND GRUMBLE
0:35:56 > 0:35:57Look, the summer's coming in, right?
0:35:57 > 0:36:00There will be hundreds of thirsty people. We could make a fortune!
0:36:00 > 0:36:0520,000 gallons of Irn Bru? Hey, that's no' tae be sniffed at!
0:36:05 > 0:36:07Now, try not to boak,
0:36:07 > 0:36:11because here's the dubbed version for the international market.
0:36:11 > 0:36:12I've been thinking.
0:36:12 > 0:36:16You know that ginger beer factory up the road, up at the cross? Aye.
0:36:16 > 0:36:18It's a natural for a hit.
0:36:18 > 0:36:19THEY MUTTER AND GRUMBLE
0:36:19 > 0:36:21Look, the summer is coming in, right?
0:36:21 > 0:36:24There will be hundreds of thirsty people. We can make a fortune!
0:36:24 > 0:36:2820,000 gallons of ginger beer? Hey, that's not to be sniffed at!
0:36:30 > 0:36:32'The poshness disnae work,
0:36:32 > 0:36:34'because it's no' about a group of posh guys, you know?'
0:36:34 > 0:36:39We're all young Glaswegians, just out of school, no money,
0:36:39 > 0:36:42on the dole, desperate to get a bit of money.
0:36:42 > 0:36:44But they're streetwise, they're wideboys, you know?
0:36:44 > 0:36:47No' think it's time you traded that in for something wi' wheels?
0:36:47 > 0:36:52If you take that away, you've lost a wee bit of the humour, you know?
0:36:52 > 0:36:55CHEERING
0:36:55 > 0:36:57Bill Forsyth's films captured us at our most absurd
0:36:57 > 0:37:00and our most realistic, including the one linguistic skill
0:37:00 > 0:37:05that the Scots have totally mastered. The fine art of swearing.
0:37:05 > 0:37:08We are PHENOMENAL at it.
0:37:08 > 0:37:12Oh, look, here we go. Ha-ha!
0:37:12 > 0:37:15'I'm a big fan of swearing, when it's used properly.'
0:37:15 > 0:37:18And I think Scottish people swear particularly well.
0:37:21 > 0:37:23Ya couple o' fannies!
0:37:24 > 0:37:28We've had "fannies" used on screen, you know? It's wonderful.
0:37:28 > 0:37:31I mean, it sounds really childish, but that's about ownership.
0:37:31 > 0:37:33That validates your language.
0:37:33 > 0:37:38Here! We're burnin' your claes!
0:37:38 > 0:37:40Ya couple o' fannies!
0:37:42 > 0:37:46For a long time, we were told that swearing was bad language.
0:37:46 > 0:37:50Which meant that most of us grew up believing the colourful way
0:37:50 > 0:37:53we expressed ourselves was unacceptable.
0:37:53 > 0:37:56Then came the God of swearing.
0:37:56 > 0:38:00Oh, and if you're slightly offended by industrial language,
0:38:00 > 0:38:03then please, cover your ears now.
0:38:07 > 0:38:10People say it's, it's...
0:38:10 > 0:38:15it's a limited vocabulary that makes you swear. Well, I don't think so.
0:38:15 > 0:38:22Because my vocabulary... I know at least, oh, my God, about 127 words...
0:38:22 > 0:38:23LAUGHTER
0:38:23 > 0:38:25..and I still prefer fu...
0:38:25 > 0:38:28Here was the accent that you heard every day,
0:38:28 > 0:38:32or I heard every day, on my way to work, from work, at work.
0:38:32 > 0:38:34And there was no compromise.
0:38:34 > 0:38:39Cos "Go away" kind of dissipates, doesn't it? "Go awa-a-a-ay!
0:38:39 > 0:38:42"Go away! Shoo!
0:38:42 > 0:38:44"Go away, go aw-uurgh!"
0:38:44 > 0:38:47It was the subject matter that he was dealing with,
0:38:47 > 0:38:50he dealt with religion and bodily functions!
0:38:50 > 0:38:53So, he's away up to his tenement building, through the close -
0:38:53 > 0:38:54that's the entrance to the tenement...
0:38:54 > 0:38:57LAUGHTER
0:38:57 > 0:39:00..Into the back green, into the wash house,
0:39:00 > 0:39:02and sure enough, there's a big mound of earth.
0:39:02 > 0:39:04There's a bum sticking out of it.
0:39:07 > 0:39:11He says, "Is that her?" He says, "Aye." He says, "What did you leave
0:39:11 > 0:39:15"her bum sticking out for?" He says, "I need somewhere to park my bike."
0:39:15 > 0:39:18LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:39:18 > 0:39:21His rhythm of delivery is very individual to him,
0:39:21 > 0:39:23specifically at that time.
0:39:23 > 0:39:26And then he would go like that, and then like "tha-a-at",
0:39:26 > 0:39:29and he would let it "go-o-o", which would let the laughs go.
0:39:29 > 0:39:32I love to play in Scotland and be a comedian,
0:39:32 > 0:39:36because suddenly I get the luxury of speaking at the right speed.
0:39:36 > 0:39:40You speak a bit like a pillar box, you don't move your mouth at all. And you point with your feet.
0:39:40 > 0:39:43People say, "Excuse me, could you direct me to Sauchiehall Street?"
0:39:43 > 0:39:45You go, "Aye, it's o'er there."
0:39:46 > 0:39:50Used to go into pubs, guys in Stirling and Falkirk and Inverness
0:39:50 > 0:39:54doing The Crucifixion, supposedly in Billy Connolly's style,
0:39:54 > 0:39:57their version of a Glasgow accent.
0:39:57 > 0:39:59I'm not on a YOP scheme, this is what I do!
0:40:00 > 0:40:03It was so big, that. We can't underestimate how big that was.
0:40:03 > 0:40:07Billy, when I first came to London and spoke with my Scottish accent,
0:40:07 > 0:40:12I was so conscious of it feeling very flat-footed, and I wondered,
0:40:12 > 0:40:14when you came to London, to begin with,
0:40:14 > 0:40:17did you have awful problems with the Scottish accent? I did.
0:40:17 > 0:40:21It was... Well, I didn't really have a problem. I kind of, eh...
0:40:22 > 0:40:25People treated me a bit like I was a Swahili poet.
0:40:27 > 0:40:29MUSIC: "Lust For Life" by Iggy Pop
0:40:31 > 0:40:35'Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family.'
0:40:35 > 0:40:41Amazingly, our supposedly uncouth accents were becoming sort of cool.
0:40:42 > 0:40:44BRAKES SCREECH
0:40:44 > 0:40:47In the 1990s, two films were released that showed two very
0:40:47 > 0:40:52different versions of Scotland, and spoke in very different ways.
0:40:52 > 0:40:54'Choose good health, low cholesterol...'
0:40:54 > 0:40:58These films exemplified the two very distinct genres of Scottish cinema.
0:40:58 > 0:41:02They spoke in different accents, but both contributed to a bigger
0:41:02 > 0:41:06conversation that was going on throughout the country.
0:41:06 > 0:41:10I think the mid-90s are a key moment for Scottish culture.
0:41:10 > 0:41:13In 1993, the book Trainspotting is released.
0:41:13 > 0:41:17In 1994, James Kelman wins the Booker Prize,
0:41:17 > 0:41:21written in the Glaswegian language.
0:41:21 > 0:41:25I love the Glasgow vernacular. It uses the word "boak"...
0:41:25 > 0:41:28Then in 1995, Braveheart comes out,
0:41:28 > 0:41:30then in 1996, Trainspotting, the movie.
0:41:30 > 0:41:33So, suddenly, there's all this Scottishness.
0:41:33 > 0:41:35'A lot of it very radical.'
0:41:35 > 0:41:37William Wallace? Can't be.
0:41:37 > 0:41:42'Using the language of the working class, unadulterated, undiluted.'
0:41:42 > 0:41:46Braveheart gave Scotland the full Hollywood treatment.
0:41:46 > 0:41:50Stirring score, bonnie banks and an A-list actor.
0:41:50 > 0:41:52But would he have a B-movie accent?
0:41:52 > 0:41:54We were all lined up, and it was
0:41:54 > 0:41:57a big speech from Mel, like, a BIG speech.
0:41:57 > 0:42:00And everyone was sort of waiting, thinking,
0:42:00 > 0:42:04"What's it going to be like? Is it going to be 'Mel'?"
0:42:06 > 0:42:09Sons of Scotland,
0:42:09 > 0:42:11I am William Wallace.
0:42:11 > 0:42:16William Wallace is seven feet tall! Yes, I've heard.
0:42:16 > 0:42:18Kills men by the hundred.
0:42:18 > 0:42:19And if he were here,
0:42:19 > 0:42:22he'd consume the English with fireballs from his eyes...
0:42:22 > 0:42:24and bolts of lightning from his arse.
0:42:24 > 0:42:26THEY LAUGH
0:42:26 > 0:42:29I've got to say, I think he did a great job of it.
0:42:29 > 0:42:33Really, it was a tough call for this guy, you know?
0:42:33 > 0:42:36But he had the cojones to get up there and do it,
0:42:36 > 0:42:38and I thought, "Good on you, man."
0:42:38 > 0:42:40They may take our lives...
0:42:40 > 0:42:44but they'll never take our freedom!
0:42:44 > 0:42:49CROWD ROARS
0:42:49 > 0:42:54It scarcely mattered that Braveheart was deep-fried Hollywood hokum.
0:42:54 > 0:42:57It spoke directly to the Scottish soul.
0:42:57 > 0:43:00And there was at least one line written by a Scot.
0:43:00 > 0:43:03We were doing a scene where I got shot with an arrow.
0:43:03 > 0:43:05ARROWS WHISTLE
0:43:05 > 0:43:09Pull the arrow out of me, and I smack this guy for pulling it out of me.
0:43:09 > 0:43:12Mel said, "Hey, Jimmy," he said,
0:43:12 > 0:43:16"What would you say if someone pulled an arrow out of your chest?
0:43:16 > 0:43:20"I mean, Jesus!" I said, "Ah, that'll wake you up in the morning, boy."
0:43:20 > 0:43:24That'll wake you up in the morning, boy.
0:43:24 > 0:43:27He went, "Yeah!" And that was my line!
0:43:27 > 0:43:30I'd just like everyone to know, that was my line, I made that up,
0:43:30 > 0:43:32ME, James Cosmo!
0:43:32 > 0:43:35It's the only thing I've ever made up in my life!
0:43:35 > 0:43:38HE GASPS IN PAIN
0:43:38 > 0:43:42And in true Scottish style, the best bit was
0:43:42 > 0:43:46when our Highland hero suffered a glorious defeat.
0:43:46 > 0:43:54FREEDOM!
0:43:56 > 0:44:00The execution scene in Braveheart lasts an extraordinary
0:44:00 > 0:44:04nine minutes and at the end of it, after acting like he's been
0:44:04 > 0:44:08digesting a week-old Forfar bridie, Mel bellows out the most
0:44:08 > 0:44:12single famous word ever yelled in Scottish film history.
0:44:14 > 0:44:22FREEDOM!
0:44:23 > 0:44:26What you've got to remember is, that film got standing ovations
0:44:26 > 0:44:28in cinemas in Scotland.
0:44:28 > 0:44:32People really loved it, and they didn't just love it, it tapped into
0:44:32 > 0:44:37something very, very important, if stupid, in the Scottish character.
0:44:37 > 0:44:42Because it was, in the end, completely fictitious.
0:44:48 > 0:44:52The film had an extraordinary effect on Scotland's sense of itself.
0:44:52 > 0:44:55Any Scot who did something even fairly heroic
0:44:55 > 0:44:58was immediately labelled a Braveheart.
0:44:58 > 0:45:00What?
0:45:00 > 0:45:02What blue paint?
0:45:02 > 0:45:06On my face? Oh, my God!
0:45:06 > 0:45:09MUSIC: "Born Slippy" by Underworld
0:45:10 > 0:45:14Trainspotting could hardly have been more different.
0:45:14 > 0:45:16It was the small, cool, urban Scottish movie
0:45:16 > 0:45:18that conquered the world.
0:45:18 > 0:45:20There!
0:45:20 > 0:45:24While Braveheart is famous for its yelp for freedom,
0:45:24 > 0:45:28Trainspotting give us a slightly less heroic picture of Scotland.
0:45:28 > 0:45:30In one of its most infamous speeches,
0:45:30 > 0:45:36Trainspotting told us truths that we could only hear in our own accent.
0:45:44 > 0:45:46What are you waiting for?
0:45:46 > 0:45:48Tommy...
0:45:49 > 0:45:52This is not natural, man.
0:45:52 > 0:45:55It's the great outdoors!
0:45:55 > 0:45:57There is a great sense of release,
0:45:57 > 0:46:01because we are in the landscape that people say,
0:46:01 > 0:46:05"Oh, isn't that lovely?" And that sparks off a very political
0:46:05 > 0:46:07assessment of what Scotland is and where we are.
0:46:07 > 0:46:09Doesn't it make you proud to be Scottish?
0:46:09 > 0:46:11It's shite being Scottish!
0:46:11 > 0:46:14We're the lowest of the low!
0:46:14 > 0:46:17The most wretched, miserable, servile,
0:46:17 > 0:46:20pathetic trash that was ever shat into civilisation.
0:46:20 > 0:46:22Some people hate the English. I don't.
0:46:22 > 0:46:26Cannae even find a decent culture to be colonised by!
0:46:26 > 0:46:29We're ruled by effete arseholes.
0:46:29 > 0:46:33It's a shite state of affairs to be in, Tommy.
0:46:33 > 0:46:36I'd not seen that on screen before, where the easy thing to say was
0:46:36 > 0:46:38that everything is the fault of the English,
0:46:38 > 0:46:41and he was going beyond that, saying, "I don't blame them, we're rubbish."
0:46:41 > 0:46:48'His fury in that scene, because they are surrounded by hills,'
0:46:48 > 0:46:52and it's like, this is the nation you're supposed to love, isn't it beautiful?
0:46:52 > 0:46:55But that element of Scottishness
0:46:55 > 0:46:59is almost what Scotland has been reduced to.
0:47:00 > 0:47:02In terms of Scottish culture,
0:47:02 > 0:47:05I actually think it's a kind of bottoming out scene, that.
0:47:05 > 0:47:08And from that point on, the only way is up.
0:47:08 > 0:47:12# Oh, it's such a perfect day
0:47:12 > 0:47:15# I'm glad I spent it with you... #
0:47:16 > 0:47:20MUSIC: "Kickabout" by Teenage Fanclub
0:47:20 > 0:47:24Scotland was growing ever more confident about using its real
0:47:24 > 0:47:26voice, and in recent years, the strongest,
0:47:26 > 0:47:30most authentic Scottish accents are to be found in TV comedy.
0:47:30 > 0:47:34Wait a minute, there's one more. Here we go...
0:47:34 > 0:47:35ALL: Stoneybridge!
0:47:37 > 0:47:39Div ye nae ken fit a futret is?
0:47:41 > 0:47:46F-E-R-R-E-T.
0:47:46 > 0:47:48Futret.
0:47:52 > 0:47:54Gonnae no' dae that?
0:47:54 > 0:47:55How?
0:47:56 > 0:48:01I might sound like I come fae Priesthill, but I don't stay in Priesthill, all right?
0:48:01 > 0:48:02ANYTHING can happen.
0:48:04 > 0:48:07These are shows that know their audience.
0:48:09 > 0:48:12For me, comedy is a lot about truth.
0:48:12 > 0:48:16If it comes from a place and you get all those details right,
0:48:16 > 0:48:18people will see that, they'll understand that.
0:48:18 > 0:48:20Gentlemen, I give you...
0:48:20 > 0:48:23the Stoorie Midori.
0:48:23 > 0:48:25THEY COUGH
0:48:25 > 0:48:27That's nice of you. Aye, I GIVE you.
0:48:27 > 0:48:3012 pound. Ten pound. 13.
0:48:30 > 0:48:3212.
0:48:35 > 0:48:38You don't start on the outside, thinking about accents,
0:48:38 > 0:48:40you just start with the character.
0:48:40 > 0:48:43And it turned out that I wanted Gary to be more Fife-based,
0:48:43 > 0:48:44because it gave him...
0:48:44 > 0:48:49No offence, Fife, but it gave him slightly more naive character traits.
0:48:49 > 0:48:54Depends who's asking. I am. Gary. I'm askin'.
0:48:54 > 0:48:56I think people are genuinely disappointed, if they have
0:48:56 > 0:49:00seen Gary and then they meet me, they'll come up and be like,
0:49:00 > 0:49:01"Gary! Gary!
0:49:01 > 0:49:03"Gary!" And they want me to go, "Oh, hiyuh, brullyant,
0:49:03 > 0:49:07"let's just hang oot fur the day, let's just dae this, me and you,
0:49:07 > 0:49:10"we'll become best pals." But it's not like that, so they are disappointed.
0:49:10 > 0:49:13Don't laugh at his name, Gary.
0:49:13 > 0:49:15It's just a wee, furry animal.
0:49:15 > 0:49:20It's lovely old Scotch, though. What, old Scottish people?
0:49:20 > 0:49:24The drink, Corporal. Oh, right. I like the old Bailey's.
0:49:24 > 0:49:29My wife, Betty, she loves Bailey's. Betty Badger? Mrs Badger.
0:49:29 > 0:49:30Yes, sir. Right.
0:49:32 > 0:49:35TV comedy give a platform to some unlikely Scottish heroes.
0:49:35 > 0:49:40The accent was raw, it was uncompromising, it was in-your-face!
0:49:40 > 0:49:42It was funny.
0:49:42 > 0:49:43Ach!
0:49:45 > 0:49:49Rob? Rob, it's for you, it's Mary. I think there's something wrong.
0:49:49 > 0:49:51Mary? How, what's the matter?
0:49:51 > 0:49:55I don't know, I can't understand what she's saying. Wha'?
0:49:55 > 0:49:59I said, I can't understand what she is saying.
0:49:59 > 0:50:04Oh, it's no use, doll, I cannae understand what you're saying.
0:50:04 > 0:50:08There's never a pull-back, it just was what it was, whatever it was.
0:50:08 > 0:50:10And we didn't seek to dilute it.
0:50:10 > 0:50:13Eh, Mary, what's the matter, doll?
0:50:13 > 0:50:16'And I think people liked that, they responded to what'
0:50:16 > 0:50:19they saw as some kind of cultural integrity.
0:50:19 > 0:50:21There are more people in Greater London than
0:50:21 > 0:50:23there are in the whole of Scotland.
0:50:23 > 0:50:25Aye, but I mean, for goodness' sake,
0:50:25 > 0:50:28it's quality that counts, not quantity.
0:50:28 > 0:50:30Occasionally, people would say things like,
0:50:30 > 0:50:32"Oh, it's very funny, but I don't understand it."
0:50:32 > 0:50:34Well, how do you know it's very funny, then?
0:50:34 > 0:50:37Hello there, Mary doll!
0:50:37 > 0:50:40What the hell time do you call this?
0:50:40 > 0:50:42What am I talking about?
0:50:42 > 0:50:44What the hell MONTH do you call this?
0:50:44 > 0:50:47Viewers South of the border enjoyed Rab's musings.
0:50:47 > 0:50:49How, did ye no' miss me?
0:50:49 > 0:50:52But in Scotland, there was some discomfort over the steamin',
0:50:52 > 0:50:56haverin', Govan philosopher. I will tell you this, lady...
0:50:56 > 0:50:59No, I will tell YOU this...
0:50:59 > 0:51:02We suffer greatly from the cringe here in Scotland, you know,
0:51:02 > 0:51:05like, "That's a ridiculous view to give of Scotland."
0:51:05 > 0:51:08I see yous are all turning against me now, eh?
0:51:08 > 0:51:12The problem is, we get so few pictures of who we are.
0:51:12 > 0:51:15I will walk alone!
0:51:15 > 0:51:18If you look at New York, you get Scorsese, you get Woody Allen,
0:51:18 > 0:51:19you get musicals,
0:51:19 > 0:51:23you've got a plethora of different images of a fantastic city.
0:51:23 > 0:51:27In Scotland, we maybe get three pictures a year of who we are,
0:51:27 > 0:51:31and that's why everybody goes, "That's no' who we are!"
0:51:31 > 0:51:33Your country is like your own fizzer, in't it?
0:51:33 > 0:51:37I mean, it might be a pockmarked, drink-ridden eyesore,
0:51:37 > 0:51:39but you're stuck with it, in't ye?
0:51:39 > 0:51:42So, I mean, you might as well try and love it.
0:51:45 > 0:51:46LIFT PINGS
0:51:46 > 0:51:49But does accent actually matter?
0:51:49 > 0:51:53You ever tried voice recognition technology? No.
0:51:53 > 0:51:55They don't do Scottish accents.
0:51:55 > 0:51:5711.
0:51:58 > 0:52:00'Could you please repeat that?'
0:52:00 > 0:52:0411. 11! 'Could you please repeat that?'
0:52:04 > 0:52:0711! We are very proud of our accent,
0:52:07 > 0:52:09more so than anywhere else in the UK.
0:52:09 > 0:52:14'You have not selected a floor.' Aye, we have! 11!
0:52:14 > 0:52:16'You have not selected a floor.' AAGH!
0:52:16 > 0:52:19And if we are honest, we can sometimes enjoy righteous
0:52:19 > 0:52:22indignation when people can't follow what we say.
0:52:22 > 0:52:26'You have not selected a floor.' Up yours, ya cow!
0:52:26 > 0:52:29If you don't let us out these doors, I'm gonnae come tae America,
0:52:29 > 0:52:32I'm gonnae find whatever desperate actress gave you a voice
0:52:32 > 0:52:34and I'm gonnae go to the electric chair for ye!
0:52:34 > 0:52:36Scotland! Scotland!
0:52:37 > 0:52:44FREEDOM! FREEDOM! FREEDOM!
0:52:45 > 0:52:47But films and television are a business,
0:52:47 > 0:52:50they are bought and sold and transmitted all over the world.
0:52:50 > 0:52:54And in reality, a strong Scots accent can be a bit of a drawback.
0:52:54 > 0:53:00So, is it more important to be authentic, or understood?
0:53:00 > 0:53:02I'm afraid the board has decided
0:53:02 > 0:53:06that the West End just isn't ready for Whoops, My Kilt.
0:53:08 > 0:53:10'There are 6 million Scots in the British Isles.'
0:53:10 > 0:53:14There are more than 60 million people in the South.
0:53:14 > 0:53:19What about Hoots Mon, Here Comes Bonnie Prince Shuggie? Afraid not.
0:53:19 > 0:53:23We don't deserve to have your accent inflicted on us.
0:53:23 > 0:53:26And what does it tell us about national identity in modern Britain?
0:53:26 > 0:53:31It's like saying we can only listen to Kirsty Wark
0:53:31 > 0:53:34on...er, Newsnight.
0:53:34 > 0:53:36I mean, there is a woman with a voice like
0:53:36 > 0:53:39a tonne of gravel being tipped off the back of a lorry!
0:53:39 > 0:53:41Meaty, beaty, big and bouncy.
0:53:46 > 0:53:48I gave you 100% loyalty.
0:53:48 > 0:53:51I carried out every one of your orders without question.
0:53:51 > 0:53:52'I think it seems to be'
0:53:52 > 0:53:57our mainstream TV who get completely terrified about accent.
0:53:57 > 0:54:01See that, over there? That's Glasgow.
0:54:01 > 0:54:03'I just did The Wee Man about Glasgow,
0:54:03 > 0:54:07'and a producer said, "We need to make sure somebody in Oklahoma can understand this."
0:54:07 > 0:54:09'But I thought it was an absolute disgrace.'
0:54:09 > 0:54:11I mean, let's make this for Glasgow first,
0:54:11 > 0:54:13because if you stay true to the script
0:54:13 > 0:54:16and to the film, and you make a good film, somebody in Oklahoma will say,
0:54:16 > 0:54:18"Good." If it's crap, someone in Oklahoma won't go,
0:54:18 > 0:54:20"Well, I can understand it."
0:54:20 > 0:54:22He never grassed me up.
0:54:23 > 0:54:27I'm a real guy. You've been doon the toon, drinkin'.
0:54:27 > 0:54:30You're oot on your erse! See, there it is again.
0:54:30 > 0:54:33You know the only people I know that talk like you, Chief Inspector?
0:54:33 > 0:54:36Shitey Scottish actors. I mean, how can you no' just talk like me?
0:54:36 > 0:54:38Like a real guy?
0:54:38 > 0:54:41Like your da or your uncle or whatever, just a real guy,
0:54:41 > 0:54:43just pure like that, blah, blah, blah, just pure
0:54:43 > 0:54:46talking like with nae punctuation or nothin', just being like a real guy?
0:54:46 > 0:54:47Get...oot!
0:54:47 > 0:54:50Oh, enunciating your Ts an' all, aye?
0:54:50 > 0:54:53Is that in case there's any English watching?
0:54:55 > 0:54:58Now, the argument with Shakespeare is that you're told,
0:54:58 > 0:55:00"Oh, you have to make the effort.
0:55:00 > 0:55:03"Because this language is rich
0:55:03 > 0:55:06"and deep and powerful and poetic,
0:55:06 > 0:55:09"and this is the greatest that the English language can aspire to.
0:55:09 > 0:55:12"So, if you're not prepared to make the effort with that language,
0:55:12 > 0:55:14"what does that say about you?" And yet,
0:55:14 > 0:55:18when it's a broad Glaswegian accent, it's like, "Sorry? Sorry?
0:55:18 > 0:55:21"No, sorry, I can't understand you."
0:55:21 > 0:55:23It's like, OK, where's the effort there?
0:55:23 > 0:55:26Up with the kilts. Whit?
0:55:26 > 0:55:28You havin' a laugh? You'll never sleep again, officer.
0:55:28 > 0:55:32Shut up. Up, I said! THEY SIGH
0:55:32 > 0:55:36Recent feature films, such as NEDS and The Angel's Share,
0:55:36 > 0:55:38were critical and commercial successes.
0:55:38 > 0:55:41Now, they may not have been blockbuster movies,
0:55:41 > 0:55:43but they made most of their money in Scotland,
0:55:43 > 0:55:48talking about Scottish life, in broad Scottish accents.
0:55:48 > 0:55:50What I want you to do is have a little nose of the whisky
0:55:50 > 0:55:53and tell me what you think it reminds you of.
0:55:53 > 0:55:56My dad's breath when I was wee, that's what it reminds me of.
0:55:56 > 0:55:59The Angel's Share had the chutzpah to combine very authentic
0:55:59 > 0:56:00Scottish voices...
0:56:00 > 0:56:03It's like a Christmas cake I had once at my nana's house.
0:56:03 > 0:56:08..with the very tourist-friendly images of tartan and whisky.
0:56:08 > 0:56:12MUSIC: River City theme tune
0:56:13 > 0:56:17And on the small screen, BBC Scotland now has River City,
0:56:17 > 0:56:21which speaks to us about our wee part of the world in our own voices.
0:56:22 > 0:56:28Come on, just get oot! Whit? Gimme some space, eh? Fine!
0:56:28 > 0:56:30I was just going, anyway!
0:56:30 > 0:56:32'It's about our confidence as well.'
0:56:32 > 0:56:34This is how I speak, you make the effort, you come to me.
0:56:34 > 0:56:36What is it they see in me, anyway?
0:56:36 > 0:56:39What kind of guy would want to meet up with me?
0:56:39 > 0:56:42It's ours, it's a sense of it being ours,
0:56:42 > 0:56:45and the fact that we can spot a phoney.
0:56:45 > 0:56:47Where are you fae? I'm from Scoddland.
0:56:47 > 0:56:50Scoddland?!
0:56:50 > 0:56:54'The most remarkable thing about all of this is the robustness of the Scottish accent,'
0:56:54 > 0:56:56despite the fact that we've been told
0:56:56 > 0:56:59that the way we speak is not acceptable.
0:56:59 > 0:57:05It goes on and on and on. It tholes, it endures and it will last forever.
0:57:05 > 0:57:08Cos this is the real Scotland, ye know?
0:57:08 > 0:57:11Dinna be ashamed of yourself, lad.
0:57:11 > 0:57:14Scotland is a wee country with a big voice,
0:57:14 > 0:57:16and for the first time in decades,
0:57:16 > 0:57:19our population's actually growing, with new Scots arriving
0:57:19 > 0:57:23and setting up home here, embracing and enriching our patter.
0:57:23 > 0:57:26I think the future of Caledonian cadence is looking bright.
0:57:26 > 0:57:30MUSIC: "One Great Thing" by Big Country
0:57:32 > 0:57:34That's pure bampot!
0:57:34 > 0:57:38And pure Scottish is pure invented, anyway.
0:57:38 > 0:57:41So, for happy ever after, we celebrate that there will
0:57:41 > 0:57:44always be a few versions of Scotland echoing around.
0:57:44 > 0:57:46Maybe that's no bad thing.
0:57:46 > 0:57:50Here we go, gang. Welcome to Dramoonano... Drumnadrochit.
0:57:50 > 0:57:52Gesundheit!
0:57:52 > 0:57:57That's the banter done wi', James. Best of luck in Act Two, boys.
0:57:57 > 0:57:59GET OOT!
0:58:01 > 0:58:05As for me and my fellow Scottish actors, well,
0:58:05 > 0:58:08we're quite happy to roll our Rs or make a special effort
0:58:08 > 0:58:11to articulate when Hollywood comes calling.
0:58:11 > 0:58:14And as long as we've got great stories to tell,
0:58:14 > 0:58:18the rest of the world will coorie in, listen closely
0:58:18 > 0:58:22and enjoy what we have to say, and the way that we say it.
0:58:22 > 0:58:24MUSIC: "Throw The R Away" by The Proclaimers
0:58:26 > 0:58:28# I've been so sad
0:58:28 > 0:58:30# Since you said my accent was bad
0:58:30 > 0:58:33# He's worn a frown
0:58:33 > 0:58:36# This Caledonian clown
0:58:36 > 0:58:40# I'm just gonna have to learn to hesitate
0:58:40 > 0:58:43# To make sure my words on your Saxon ears don't grate
0:58:43 > 0:58:45# But I wouldn't know a single word to say
0:58:45 > 0:58:48# If I flattened all the vowels and I threw the R away
0:58:48 > 0:58:51# Flattened all my vowels and I threw the R away
0:58:51 > 0:58:56# Flattened all my vowels and I threw the R away. #