0:00:03 > 0:00:05R Feeling, disclaimer, take five!
0:00:05 > 0:00:08My name is Bob Parks, and this is a story about me,
0:00:08 > 0:00:11my life and various events that have come into it.
0:00:11 > 0:00:14There are scenes in this film you might find complex,
0:00:14 > 0:00:17alarming and upsetting, but it's important to remember that
0:00:17 > 0:00:22human life is also complex, alarming and upsetting.
0:00:22 > 0:00:26Sometimes it's better just to accept that bad or strange things happen.
0:00:26 > 0:00:28LO-FI ROCK MUSIC
0:00:30 > 0:00:33This began as a niche project destined for a simple,
0:00:33 > 0:00:36unostentatious life in an art gallery,
0:00:36 > 0:00:39to be enjoyed by the dozen people prepared to sit through it.
0:00:39 > 0:00:42STUTTERING RADIO CHATTER
0:00:42 > 0:00:44Bob was a confounding,
0:00:44 > 0:00:47sometimes exhausting subject when we first met him.
0:00:47 > 0:00:49Thanks, Bob. Thanks... Thanks, Bob.
0:00:49 > 0:00:52The lives we lead are often intricate and multiple.
0:00:52 > 0:00:54We didn't know, for instance,
0:00:54 > 0:00:57whether we were making a film about an artist - more specifically,
0:00:57 > 0:01:00one of the pioneers of the LA performance art scene -
0:01:00 > 0:01:05or a film about a postman, or a gospel preacher...
0:01:05 > 0:01:08Or a film about a man from a quiet suburb who trained as
0:01:08 > 0:01:09a voodoo priest in Benin.
0:01:12 > 0:01:14The human brain is tooled
0:01:14 > 0:01:16to see patterns in random and meaningless data,
0:01:16 > 0:01:19to join dots where there are none...
0:01:19 > 0:01:22I was all, you know, up for this... Er, yeah.
0:01:22 > 0:01:26..and following Bob involved many, many false starts and dead ends.
0:01:27 > 0:01:30But somewhere within this chaotic assemblage of friends
0:01:30 > 0:01:33and family, and experts and testimonials,
0:01:33 > 0:01:35and ex-wives,
0:01:35 > 0:01:37and opportunities missed,
0:01:37 > 0:01:39the narrative began to assert itself,
0:01:39 > 0:01:41and that narrative began in LA.
0:01:41 > 0:01:43SIRENS WAIL AND TRAFFIC DRONES
0:01:46 > 0:01:50This is a psycho-geographical,
0:01:50 > 0:01:54rhythm-and-blues soundscape which is Los Angeles,
0:01:54 > 0:01:57and this is the start of our journey, on the corner of...
0:01:59 > 0:02:00What... What is this...?
0:02:02 > 0:02:04Something... La Brea...
0:02:04 > 0:02:07La Brea... Just off La Brea... La Brea and Detroit.
0:02:12 > 0:02:16In the meantime we've found... a terrible accident.
0:02:23 > 0:02:25FLUTE FLUTTERS
0:02:25 > 0:02:28We'd all worked in art, but we'd never met anybody like Bob.
0:02:28 > 0:02:30He cared about art,
0:02:30 > 0:02:32and he genuinely believed in its redemptive power -
0:02:32 > 0:02:36perhaps more than any of the more successful artists or curators
0:02:36 > 0:02:38or critics that we knew.
0:02:38 > 0:02:40HE SCAT-SINGS INTO THE FLUTE
0:02:42 > 0:02:45These were the first scenes we ever shot with Bob.
0:02:45 > 0:02:47He had lived in LA in the 1970s,
0:02:47 > 0:02:51and had come back for the first time to tell us his story.
0:02:51 > 0:02:53But in order to give you the proper context for all this,
0:02:53 > 0:02:56we need to begin in 1947,
0:02:56 > 0:02:59at 10 Argyll Avenue, Southall, Middlesex,
0:02:59 > 0:03:01where Bob was born.
0:03:01 > 0:03:05His mother was Marjorie Clara Park, his father Frederick Parks.
0:03:05 > 0:03:07That's Frederick with a K.
0:03:07 > 0:03:10It was a normal childhood, relatively speaking.
0:03:11 > 0:03:14As a teenager, Bob fostered an interest in art,
0:03:14 > 0:03:19and went on to study it at Leicester University, where,
0:03:19 > 0:03:20in 1969, he met Myriam Morales,
0:03:20 > 0:03:22a young American on a tour of Europe.
0:03:22 > 0:03:25They dated, they fell in love, they married.
0:03:25 > 0:03:29Eventually, in 1972, they moved to Los Angeles,
0:03:29 > 0:03:31where Myriam had grown up.
0:03:33 > 0:03:37Bob had a first class degree in art and was fascinated by the LA scene.
0:03:37 > 0:03:40Billy Al Bengston, Ed Ruscha, Craig Kauffman,
0:03:40 > 0:03:43all the bright and shiny pop artists.
0:03:43 > 0:03:45But by the time Bob arrived in the early '70s,
0:03:45 > 0:03:48LA was a very different place.
0:03:48 > 0:03:51The performance art scene was flourishing.
0:03:51 > 0:03:53The Vietnam War had reached new levels of brutality,
0:03:53 > 0:03:56and LA itself was a violent, unhappy place.
0:03:56 > 0:03:59These new artists were responding to that friction,
0:03:59 > 0:04:00that upheaval.
0:04:01 > 0:04:05Chris Burden had a studio assistant shoot him in the arm with a rifle.
0:04:07 > 0:04:11Paul McCarthy was painting his body with ketchup in the name of art.
0:04:11 > 0:04:15Barbara T Smith was hanging naked bodies from the wall of her gallery.
0:04:15 > 0:04:18John Duncan was staging provocative interventions
0:04:18 > 0:04:20on public transport and everywhere else.
0:04:20 > 0:04:23And Bob was walking the streets of LA in a yellow bikini,
0:04:23 > 0:04:27choreographing traumatic fits and seizures in public.
0:04:27 > 0:04:29Most of them went on to be recognised as the most
0:04:29 > 0:04:33important and influential artists of their generation.
0:04:33 > 0:04:34But not Bob.
0:04:34 > 0:04:37Robert Parks is one of those artists whose name comes up on occasion
0:04:37 > 0:04:41when I'm interviewing other people about this period in the '70s
0:04:41 > 0:04:44in Los Angeles.
0:04:44 > 0:04:49You know, I went to his house, and it was, er, a little old house,
0:04:49 > 0:04:54and, you know, he had all these eccentric things around it!
0:04:54 > 0:04:57And so there's a lot of eccentric artists,
0:04:57 > 0:05:00there's a lot of artists that can hardly create a sentence.
0:05:00 > 0:05:04There's others that are so brilliant that their sentences are beyond you,
0:05:04 > 0:05:06you know, I mean, there's all sorts of artists,
0:05:06 > 0:05:12and so you can't rule anybody out, not at all.
0:05:12 > 0:05:15Robert Parks did a piece called Bignose,
0:05:15 > 0:05:18or a radio programme called Close Radio, where artists
0:05:18 > 0:05:23dissected the medium of sound in every way that you could imagine.
0:05:23 > 0:05:26So, when Robert Parks did his piece, he'd very much sort of
0:05:26 > 0:05:30confound your expectation of what something should sound like.
0:05:30 > 0:05:32He was...
0:05:32 > 0:05:34He was...unique.
0:05:36 > 0:05:38# I believe in abandon! #
0:05:38 > 0:05:40The other artists that we knew at that time
0:05:40 > 0:05:43considered him too far out.
0:05:46 > 0:05:50# Going out with this openness I am taking a chance... #
0:05:50 > 0:05:52He wanted to lose control,
0:05:52 > 0:05:56he wanted to give up control and see what would happen when he did.
0:05:57 > 0:06:00# I personify chastity
0:06:00 > 0:06:02# All I get is abuse! #
0:06:02 > 0:06:05And we began to think, "I don't know."
0:06:05 > 0:06:08SHE LAUGHS "This guy is pretty weird."
0:06:10 > 0:06:12I thought he was amazing.
0:06:13 > 0:06:19Bob and I, after we married, had a good life together.
0:06:19 > 0:06:23It was blissful, one of the happiest times in my life...
0:06:24 > 0:06:26..and forever will be.
0:06:33 > 0:06:36But, yeah, at a certain point, she just sort of threw up her hands
0:06:36 > 0:06:39and, and when she did,
0:06:39 > 0:06:43he was sort of, like, rudderless
0:06:43 > 0:06:45for a while.
0:06:45 > 0:06:52To be in the aura of someone of that magnitude, of that aesthetic,
0:06:52 > 0:06:56such an intense aesthetic, it was getting more and more
0:06:56 > 0:06:59difficult for me to stay in the marriage.
0:07:00 > 0:07:03He joined the church soon after this,
0:07:03 > 0:07:07but this was a period...where she left
0:07:07 > 0:07:11and then there was this period of sort of...floating,
0:07:11 > 0:07:15or sort of, like, moving through a fog,
0:07:15 > 0:07:20and then, erm, getting involved in the church.
0:07:20 > 0:07:22I don't know how he did that.
0:07:22 > 0:07:24I don't know how he ended up going there.
0:07:24 > 0:07:26Praise the Lord!
0:07:26 > 0:07:27CHEERING AND SHOUTING
0:07:27 > 0:07:29In the wake of Bob's divorce,
0:07:29 > 0:07:32he began to pursue his interest in the gospel scene.
0:07:32 > 0:07:36In 1974, he joined the Starlight Church Of God In Christ,
0:07:36 > 0:07:38based in South Central LA.
0:07:38 > 0:07:40Back in the '70s, you know,
0:07:40 > 0:07:44Los Angeles was pretty much segregated.
0:07:44 > 0:07:47They had the white churches, you had the black churches,
0:07:47 > 0:07:53you had the Hispanic churches, you know, and rarely did they mix.
0:07:53 > 0:07:57So was it odd to see Bob down in South Central?
0:07:57 > 0:08:00It was odd, you know, but he felt right at home.
0:08:00 > 0:08:03Everybody started calling him Brother Bob, Brother Bob.
0:08:03 > 0:08:07How are you? I'm Sister Reed's son. You're little, little...
0:08:07 > 0:08:10I was down here. You were never that tall!
0:08:10 > 0:08:14Absolutely. He's grown a bit!
0:08:14 > 0:08:16Bob liked to play the flute.
0:08:16 > 0:08:19I don't remember Bob not having a flute.
0:08:19 > 0:08:20And he was terrible at it, yeah,
0:08:20 > 0:08:25he didn't have any skill whatsoever, and he seemed to relish that.
0:08:25 > 0:08:30We, er, was hoping that he'd just, you know, er,
0:08:30 > 0:08:34kind of improve upon his musical skills.
0:08:34 > 0:08:37Face turned red from blowing, I mean...
0:08:37 > 0:08:39It's something to watch him play.
0:08:39 > 0:08:41Bob had a tune all of his own.
0:08:41 > 0:08:44He could let himself go, and nobody's going to laugh at him.
0:08:44 > 0:08:46Nobody's going to think it's funny, you know,
0:08:46 > 0:08:51because that's just him and how he'll express himself.
0:08:51 > 0:08:54I just want to PRAISE GOD!
0:08:54 > 0:08:56HALLELUJAH!
0:08:56 > 0:08:58HALLELUJAH! HALLELU-U-U...!
0:08:58 > 0:09:00We just embraced him,
0:09:00 > 0:09:03and that was, I guess, his way of
0:09:03 > 0:09:06expressing his self,
0:09:06 > 0:09:09so we just, er, let Bob do Bob.
0:09:09 > 0:09:13# Soldier in the army of the Lord
0:09:13 > 0:09:17# I'm a soldier in the army! #
0:09:17 > 0:09:19UPBEAT GOSPEL
0:09:34 > 0:09:36BOB SCREAMS
0:09:41 > 0:09:44Bob was happy at the church, but LA is a big city,
0:09:44 > 0:09:47and sometimes people fall through the cracks.
0:09:47 > 0:09:50By 1978, Bob was in a much darker place.
0:09:50 > 0:09:52Here comes...
0:09:52 > 0:09:54Bignose.
0:09:54 > 0:09:57Divorced from Myriam and isolated from the art scene,
0:09:57 > 0:10:00Bob took his performance art to national television.
0:10:16 > 0:10:18GONG REVERBERATES
0:10:24 > 0:10:27I didn't understand that, Bignose.
0:10:27 > 0:10:29Are you trying to uplift the audience?
0:10:29 > 0:10:33In 1981, Bob's brother Tom came to LA.
0:10:33 > 0:10:36Sensing that something was wrong, he took Bob home to England.
0:10:43 > 0:10:47Back in the UK, Bob moved into his parents' bungalow in Sway -
0:10:47 > 0:10:49a small, conservative village
0:10:49 > 0:10:51in the centre of the New Forest National Park.
0:10:52 > 0:10:55He still lives there with his mother today.
0:10:55 > 0:10:58Let me help you getting up. Ooh.
0:10:58 > 0:11:00Right on there.
0:11:00 > 0:11:02Ohh... Dear old Mum.
0:11:02 > 0:11:05Push it forward. Just pull... That's it.
0:11:15 > 0:11:17We'll leave the old, erm...
0:11:18 > 0:11:21Do you remember when we bought that? Yes.
0:11:21 > 0:11:24The, erm, the dehumidifier,
0:11:24 > 0:11:28cos all my books were beginning to warp? Yes.
0:11:28 > 0:11:30So we had to get rid of all the... Yes.
0:11:31 > 0:11:32It's lovely.
0:11:32 > 0:11:34"MARY'S BOY CHILD" PLAYS ON A RADIO
0:11:40 > 0:11:43TOY BIRD TWEETS
0:11:59 > 0:12:00Push.
0:12:00 > 0:12:02TOY BIRD TWEETS
0:12:04 > 0:12:06TOY BIRD TWEETS
0:12:09 > 0:12:11TOY BIRD TWEETS
0:12:19 > 0:12:22So this is just... And I'll show you the stuff here...
0:12:22 > 0:12:26These are all my books, I've got them all in chronological sequence.
0:12:26 > 0:12:28Now, this...
0:12:28 > 0:12:31In 1974, I think it was, when Myriam left, this is how I was
0:12:31 > 0:12:35walking around Los Angeles for a year, living out the painting.
0:12:35 > 0:12:38And it was about the hypocrisy of Renaissance artists who painted
0:12:38 > 0:12:41naked women, fully clothed themselves behind closed doors,
0:12:41 > 0:12:43so I thought, "Well, I'll be my own model
0:12:43 > 0:12:45"and take it out from behind doors,"
0:12:45 > 0:12:47and I got thrown out of the Museum Of Modern Art
0:12:47 > 0:12:49in Los Angeles, I got screamed at in McDonald's.
0:12:51 > 0:12:53If you come round here now...
0:12:53 > 0:12:55So, this is when I came back to England,
0:12:55 > 0:12:58when I tried doing a really concentrated picture of Mum,
0:12:58 > 0:13:01which I did, I spent another year on that,
0:13:01 > 0:13:05and as I was working on that, I was doing that at the same time,
0:13:05 > 0:13:06which was a fantasy.
0:13:06 > 0:13:08Right in the middle you can see my grandfather,
0:13:08 > 0:13:11wicked old bugger, who, erm...
0:13:11 > 0:13:13Anyhow, he had tempers and stuff like that.
0:13:13 > 0:13:15Anyhow, I've made him in the middle.
0:13:15 > 0:13:17And I've got me in an erotic position,
0:13:17 > 0:13:20and Myriam in an erotic...with this thing coming out of her anus,
0:13:20 > 0:13:22and a sort of flowery kind of thing...
0:13:22 > 0:13:25Oh, no, it's Mum as an angelic force.
0:13:25 > 0:13:28I had her in a sheet and her eyes were blackened.
0:13:31 > 0:13:34This, I'll just...just show you, this is one of the ones I did...
0:13:36 > 0:13:38That's another one, that's using...
0:13:38 > 0:13:40And on the back of it I've got...
0:13:40 > 0:13:42I traced around my mum's outline.
0:13:43 > 0:13:47That's going to hang upside down from the ceiling.
0:13:47 > 0:13:49This is...
0:13:49 > 0:13:51This is one of Mum, her on the cross -
0:13:51 > 0:13:54that's a bit of it, with that painting behind her,
0:13:54 > 0:13:56so that's in encaustic.
0:14:07 > 0:14:10Bob's brother Tom has travelled to the UK to visit the family,
0:14:10 > 0:14:13and Bob is preparing an elaborate performance
0:14:13 > 0:14:16to protest the closure of a local art gallery.
0:14:16 > 0:14:19Oh, look, there's some people arriving. God!
0:14:19 > 0:14:21There are going to be people there.
0:14:28 > 0:14:29HE SINGS # Doopie-doo... #
0:14:31 > 0:14:33Right, yeah, that's it. Now...
0:14:35 > 0:14:38HE RINGS A BELL Oyez! Oyez!
0:14:43 > 0:14:46Hear ye, citizens of Sway!
0:14:46 > 0:14:50Proclamation of the new Bishop of Southampton!
0:14:50 > 0:14:53The bastion of private ownership
0:14:53 > 0:14:58has eaten away the identity of Sway!
0:14:58 > 0:15:03This social tragedy is hereby expressed publicly
0:15:03 > 0:15:07and mourned in the open!
0:15:07 > 0:15:09FLUTE WHEEZES
0:15:20 > 0:15:23What has led you to come back to the UK this time?
0:15:23 > 0:15:27Specifically this time is the fact that I can, erm,
0:15:27 > 0:15:31and that Miggie has really reached a stage of life
0:15:31 > 0:15:36where it's dangerous to leave her by herself in the house.
0:15:36 > 0:15:38Oh, the record's in the other room. I like that.
0:15:38 > 0:15:42She does need 24-hour reassurance.
0:15:42 > 0:15:46Erm, I'm not the entertainer of Miggie that Bob is.
0:15:46 > 0:15:48Bob plays a very good role of
0:15:48 > 0:15:51amusing and diverting and directing Miggie,
0:15:51 > 0:15:58whereas my philosophy to some extent is to leave people to be,
0:15:58 > 0:16:01and to, erm, well, if they feel miserable,
0:16:01 > 0:16:03continue feeling miserable.
0:16:03 > 0:16:05A MAN'S VOICE CATERWAULS ON A CD
0:16:05 > 0:16:10I think Bob's determined to preserve Miggie's personality
0:16:10 > 0:16:15and to cheer her out of, erm, feelings of anxiety or depression...
0:16:16 > 0:16:18You know, I went... HE SHRIEKS
0:16:18 > 0:16:21I would go much further than him, but at least it's somebody...
0:16:21 > 0:16:23And I'd rip right through my vocal cords,
0:16:23 > 0:16:24I wouldn't mess around.
0:16:24 > 0:16:28..and use Miggie as a sounding board,
0:16:28 > 0:16:29or a muse, to some extent,
0:16:29 > 0:16:35and, erm, he looks for that function to continue as much as is possible.
0:16:37 > 0:16:39Hello, hi, Mum!
0:16:40 > 0:16:43Hi! Hello. You all right? Yes.
0:16:43 > 0:16:45Right, there it is, Mum,
0:16:45 > 0:16:47you've come all the way from Sway... Yes.
0:16:47 > 0:16:50..and there it is, you're seeing yourself... Yes.
0:16:50 > 0:16:54..at the Institute of Contemporary Art. Yes.
0:16:54 > 0:16:58Lovely colours, aren't they? Yeah, very nice colours.
0:16:58 > 0:17:00This is Mum looking at the picture.
0:17:00 > 0:17:03We're going to come round and have a word with her now.
0:17:03 > 0:17:06So what do you think, Mum? Keep looking at the picture.
0:17:08 > 0:17:10What's your reaction?
0:17:10 > 0:17:12I don't like it. You don't like it.
0:17:12 > 0:17:16Do you mind watching it for a little bit more? No. OK.
0:17:16 > 0:17:18Do you like the colours?
0:17:18 > 0:17:21I like the colours, but I don't like anything else about it.
0:17:24 > 0:17:29You know, I left for Australia when I was 20.
0:17:29 > 0:17:33And it's been very much a case of Bob, Miggie and Fred
0:17:33 > 0:17:35getting on with life here.
0:17:35 > 0:17:40For a significant time after Bobby came back, there were rivalries
0:17:40 > 0:17:44between Bob and my dad about who had
0:17:44 > 0:17:49influence with me, and my father
0:17:49 > 0:17:54felt his role was being usurped, I'm sure, as head of the house or whatever,
0:17:54 > 0:17:57and he tried to assert himself in all sorts of ways,
0:17:57 > 0:17:58which were frustrating.
0:18:00 > 0:18:02Dear old Mum?
0:18:04 > 0:18:07You know you've been with me with all my art.
0:18:07 > 0:18:09Everything I've done.
0:18:09 > 0:18:12Have you got anything to say about that?
0:18:12 > 0:18:17How you feel, how you've helped me or your part that's...?
0:18:48 > 0:18:52When I started going to art school, I got to be very honest, didn't I?
0:18:52 > 0:18:55And I used to say things.
0:18:55 > 0:18:59And you had a lot of shocks with me.
0:18:59 > 0:19:01But you got used to it, didn't you?
0:19:03 > 0:19:05Yes!
0:19:07 > 0:19:08What a psychiatrist said,
0:19:08 > 0:19:12it was a symbiotic relationship I had with you.
0:19:12 > 0:19:18And when I did your portrait, I had to almost become you.
0:19:18 > 0:19:23I think sexually, you let me do anything, haven't you?
0:19:23 > 0:19:28You've never put any kind of restrictions and I think that care,
0:19:28 > 0:19:30treating me with that sensitivity,
0:19:30 > 0:19:34has allowed my artistic side to develop.
0:19:34 > 0:19:38I think it's because of the sort of space you gave me as a mother.
0:19:38 > 0:19:41It's unconditional love, isn't it?
0:19:44 > 0:19:46Put it on the right speed.
0:19:48 > 0:19:52MUSIC PLAYS
0:19:52 > 0:19:56# But it's been a long, long, long, long, long, long time comin'
0:19:56 > 0:20:03# But, people, let me tell you a change is gonna come
0:20:03 > 0:20:06# Oh, yes, it is... #
0:20:06 > 0:20:07Can you hear that?
0:20:12 > 0:20:16You like the backing to that one?
0:20:16 > 0:20:18Solomon Burke.
0:20:18 > 0:20:24# I say, "Brothers, help me, please"... #
0:20:24 > 0:20:26Yeah.
0:20:26 > 0:20:29# But my brothers, they wind up knockin' me
0:20:29 > 0:20:34# Right down, down on my knees
0:20:34 > 0:20:42# There was times when I thought I wouldn't last long
0:20:42 > 0:20:47# Now I know I'm able to carry on
0:20:47 > 0:20:52# Been a long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long
0:20:52 > 0:20:55# Time coming
0:20:55 > 0:20:59# But, people, let me tell you a change is gonna come... #
0:20:59 > 0:21:02A big man?
0:21:02 > 0:21:04Kind. Generous.
0:21:04 > 0:21:08# Oh, yes, it is, oh, yes, it is, oh, yes, it is... #
0:21:10 > 0:21:16He did, yeah. And he used to sit on a throne because he was so fat.
0:21:16 > 0:21:20# There's been love, there's been tears
0:21:20 > 0:21:24# There's been joy, there's been sorrow... #
0:21:24 > 0:21:27Without his clothes? Oh!
0:21:27 > 0:21:29All fat.
0:21:29 > 0:21:31# It's been a long, long time coming... #
0:21:31 > 0:21:33Shall I give you your donkey?
0:21:36 > 0:21:39# But I'm here to tell you a change is gonna come... #
0:21:39 > 0:21:43Here's your donkey.
0:21:43 > 0:21:46# Oh, yes, it is, oh, yes, it is, oh, yes, it is... #
0:21:46 > 0:21:50Do you remember when I bought you the teddy bear? Yes.
0:21:50 > 0:21:52That's your teddy bear.
0:21:52 > 0:21:56And here's your...
0:21:56 > 0:22:00Do you remember the guinea pig? Yes.
0:22:00 > 0:22:02Put him in there.
0:22:02 > 0:22:04# Sisters and brothers are crying
0:22:04 > 0:22:05# It's been a long, long, long, long... #
0:22:05 > 0:22:08And Tom sent the kangaroo.
0:22:08 > 0:22:11And the duckbilled platypus.
0:22:11 > 0:22:16# Oh, master, a change has got to come... #
0:22:16 > 0:22:18And do you remember the...
0:22:18 > 0:22:21The dog pretending to be a reindeer?
0:22:21 > 0:22:22Yeah.
0:22:26 > 0:22:30And then the anteater Tom sent? Yes.
0:22:33 > 0:22:35# Brother, will you help me, help me... #
0:22:35 > 0:22:39And the little seal? Yes. The little seal. Yes.
0:22:39 > 0:22:42# My brothers wind up knocking me... #
0:22:42 > 0:22:47And then...
0:22:47 > 0:22:49we don't know what this was called. Do you remember? Yes.
0:22:49 > 0:22:56# I been so afraid of living... #
0:22:56 > 0:23:02That was your little friend, wasn't he? Called Daisy.
0:23:02 > 0:23:06She came to visit you in the garden, didn't she? Yes.
0:23:06 > 0:23:09# Been a long, long, long, long, long, long
0:23:09 > 0:23:11# Time coming
0:23:11 > 0:23:12# But I know...#
0:23:14 > 0:23:16They said, well, why don't you do portraits of people
0:23:16 > 0:23:18at your gospel church? Which I did.
0:23:18 > 0:23:21I decided I've got a year, I can do it, let the job go.
0:23:21 > 0:23:23Go back to England.
0:23:23 > 0:23:25Because I thought, after a year,
0:23:25 > 0:23:28if I end up in Los Angeles with no money, it's not funny,
0:23:28 > 0:23:31so a roll of 36 films of everybody.
0:23:31 > 0:23:34With Mum, we selected the best one.
0:23:34 > 0:23:36I spent a month on each of these portraits.
0:23:36 > 0:23:40There's seven. There's one missing. This is Otis, my good friend.
0:23:40 > 0:23:42And he played bass with my flute
0:23:42 > 0:23:47and he sort of snapped me right into the church and made me feel at home.
0:23:47 > 0:23:49And he was my best friend in America,
0:23:49 > 0:23:51Brother Otis.
0:23:51 > 0:23:53That's Sister Margaret round there.
0:23:53 > 0:23:55Sister Shirley White was the one
0:23:55 > 0:23:58that when I'd left church for a bit, she got
0:23:58 > 0:24:00me back into it and then about three months later, she got burnt to death
0:24:00 > 0:24:04in a car crash and died slowly, actually, over a couple of days.
0:24:04 > 0:24:10We went to her funeral and it was in... Part of it was in Inglewood,
0:24:10 > 0:24:14the service, and then it was all sad
0:24:14 > 0:24:19and then we drove in a cavalcade to Compton across South Central.
0:24:19 > 0:24:22Mum, what do you think about death?
0:25:11 > 0:25:13# Mum's given up the will to live
0:25:13 > 0:25:15# She's going to die
0:25:15 > 0:25:17# Mum's given up the will to live
0:25:17 > 0:25:19# She's going to die
0:25:19 > 0:25:23# With all this consternation
0:25:23 > 0:25:27# She'll be up there by and by... # Sorry.
0:25:27 > 0:25:30# I told her she was a fucking bitch
0:25:30 > 0:25:32# I looked her straight in the eye
0:25:32 > 0:25:34# With anger and shouted, "I hate you,"
0:25:34 > 0:25:36# After that, Mum cried
0:25:36 > 0:25:39# Mum's given up the will to live
0:25:39 > 0:25:41# She's going to die. #
0:25:49 > 0:25:51So sweet.
0:25:53 > 0:25:57Nice to see you. My brother came over from Australia.
0:25:57 > 0:25:59Very nice. Nice to have you.
0:25:59 > 0:26:02INAUDIBLE
0:26:04 > 0:26:07May the Lord bless you.
0:26:14 > 0:26:18Let me hear you say amen. Amen.
0:26:18 > 0:26:21In the name of Jesus of Nazareth!
0:26:21 > 0:26:26Rise up. Somebody say rise up. Rise up!
0:26:26 > 0:26:32He had been bound by the gate, by the barrier for 14 years.
0:26:32 > 0:26:38But when God touch him that day, he jump over that gate.
0:26:38 > 0:26:40That gate will not keep you bound anymore.
0:26:40 > 0:26:46You're going to walk today in the name of Jesus. Somebody praise him.
0:26:46 > 0:26:48Hallelujah.
0:26:48 > 0:26:50# Amazing Grace
0:26:50 > 0:26:53# He's the greatest one
0:26:53 > 0:26:56# Forever the same
0:26:56 > 0:26:59# He rolled back the water
0:26:59 > 0:27:02# From the mighty Red Sea
0:27:02 > 0:27:05# He said, "I'll never leave you"
0:27:05 > 0:27:11# Until Judgement Day. #
0:27:11 > 0:27:13APPLAUSE
0:27:13 > 0:27:16Today, we're glad to see Brother Park
0:27:16 > 0:27:18and all those who have come along with him.
0:27:20 > 0:27:25But to see his mother and we want to let her know
0:27:25 > 0:27:27that we appreciate her coming today.
0:27:27 > 0:27:29Can you give her...
0:27:31 > 0:27:37GOSPEL SINGING
0:27:43 > 0:27:45Praise God, bless all the ministers.
0:27:45 > 0:27:47Thank you so much for this opportunity.
0:27:47 > 0:27:49I'll just tell you a quick testimony.
0:27:49 > 0:27:53I don't know if you know I've been suffering for anxiety for 30 years
0:27:53 > 0:27:57and I've been to psychotherapy, I've been to groups, I've been...
0:27:57 > 0:27:58It's been on and on.
0:27:58 > 0:28:03What happens, I get these 25-hour rages, I get very...
0:28:03 > 0:28:07I'm a pacifist, I don't like physical violence, but vocally I get
0:28:07 > 0:28:11very violent and Mum's received it all her life for the last 30 years.
0:28:11 > 0:28:13She's just taken it.
0:28:13 > 0:28:16And it's gone on and on and on and six years ago,
0:28:16 > 0:28:21Mum said, "Let me take your anxiety on, Bob. Let me take it on myself.
0:28:21 > 0:28:25"And I'll take it when I die, I'll take it with me,"
0:28:25 > 0:28:29and the blessing is that when Mum dies, Mum's going to take
0:28:29 > 0:28:33the anxiety to God and God is going to know what to do with it.
0:28:33 > 0:28:37God will know how to dispose of the anxiety
0:28:37 > 0:28:42because I believe in God and I want to give one quick song, if I may just before.
0:28:42 > 0:28:44And it's an old pop song, Stand By Me.
0:28:44 > 0:28:46Can you do that, Sister Carol?
0:28:46 > 0:28:49# Doo-doo-doo, doo, doo-doo-doo... #
0:28:49 > 0:28:53# When the night has come
0:28:53 > 0:28:54# Doo-doo-doo
0:28:54 > 0:28:57# And the light is dark
0:28:57 > 0:29:03# And the moon is the only light I see
0:29:05 > 0:29:08# No, I won't be afraid
0:29:08 > 0:29:12# No, I won't shed a tear
0:29:12 > 0:29:18# Just as long as you stand, you stand by me
0:29:18 > 0:29:21# And darling, God, darling, God
0:29:21 > 0:29:28# Stand by me, oh, yes, he'll stand with us
0:29:28 > 0:29:31# Yes, he will, yes, he will
0:29:31 > 0:29:33# Oh-oh-oh. #
0:29:33 > 0:29:35Hallelujah!
0:29:37 > 0:29:40Brother Park's mother don't have to take anything
0:29:40 > 0:29:42because God has already got it.
0:29:42 > 0:29:43Say amen. Amen!
0:29:43 > 0:29:46I want you to stand to your feet and point to Brother Park.
0:29:46 > 0:29:51Brother Park, if you trust and never doubt,
0:29:51 > 0:29:55God will surely bring you out.
0:29:55 > 0:29:56Somebody say...
0:29:56 > 0:29:59In the name of Jesus, deliver her...
0:29:59 > 0:30:03Hallelujah! Praise God. Hallelujah. Praise God.
0:30:03 > 0:30:06Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Thank you, God.
0:30:06 > 0:30:09In Jesus' name. Thank you, God.
0:30:09 > 0:30:14In Jesus' name. Thank you, God. In Jesus' name.
0:30:14 > 0:30:16Hallelujah. Somebody give praise.
0:30:16 > 0:30:22APPLAUSE AND SINGING
0:30:28 > 0:30:30Yes!
0:30:30 > 0:30:35Yes, Lord!
0:30:48 > 0:30:50I can make a cup of tea.
0:30:50 > 0:30:53I wouldn't mind one. OK. Half a cup.
0:30:53 > 0:30:56I've got to boil the tea. Let's see what we can do.
0:30:59 > 0:31:01I won't be long. I'll keep on coming out.
0:31:03 > 0:31:08Is it... Ooh! Can I get my mum a cup of tea?
0:31:12 > 0:31:15So...
0:31:15 > 0:31:19We'll get home about 5:30, six. Will that be all right?
0:31:19 > 0:31:23You're quite flushed, dear old Mum. Am I? Yeah.
0:31:36 > 0:31:39I think in the whole time I've lived here,
0:31:39 > 0:31:43no next-door-neighbour has ever introduced themselves, so this is an absolute first here.
0:31:43 > 0:31:46Oh! I had a note put through my door this morning saying,
0:31:46 > 0:31:50"Your rabbit has been seen at number two, four and six."
0:31:50 > 0:31:52You are number six, aren't you?
0:31:52 > 0:31:58Yeah. Unless they've just seen it, perhaps, in your garden. Maybe?
0:31:58 > 0:32:02But I just wanted to say hello. Hello. It's the first time...
0:32:02 > 0:32:03Forget about the rabbit bit.
0:32:03 > 0:32:06It's the first time a neighbour's ever...
0:32:06 > 0:32:08Oh, well, it's nice to meet you. I'm Jodie. Bob.
0:32:08 > 0:32:11I've got two little boys, we live up on the corner.
0:32:11 > 0:32:15Just moved in there now? We've been here for about four months now.
0:32:15 > 0:32:18Still kind of newish. Lovely. OK, I'll see you about, then.
0:32:18 > 0:32:21You certainly will. It's nice to meet you, Bob.
0:32:21 > 0:32:23I'll look out for your rabbit. Yeah, if you come across a brown rabbit.
0:32:23 > 0:32:25OK. Thank you. It's all right.
0:32:34 > 0:32:37I've just...
0:32:37 > 0:32:42I've just killed my mum in a car crash.
0:32:45 > 0:32:48So we're waiting to hear the outcome of that,
0:32:48 > 0:32:50whether they're going to press charges or not.
0:32:50 > 0:32:55The maximum will be six months in prison, but they don't think
0:32:55 > 0:32:58there's any chance of what-do-you-call-it service.
0:32:58 > 0:33:01The policeman who's now the liaison says
0:33:01 > 0:33:08he thinks it's punishment enough with having done that.
0:33:12 > 0:33:17We were driving and there was a bend and I just remember waking up
0:33:17 > 0:33:20and seeing sort of a lumbering noise
0:33:20 > 0:33:22and I must've just blacked out from the impact.
0:33:25 > 0:33:29The ambulance came, so I was getting Mum out
0:33:29 > 0:33:35and they helped me get her out and then got to the hospital.
0:33:35 > 0:33:39There was a four-hour wait,
0:33:39 > 0:33:44so we were in line and when I went
0:33:44 > 0:33:47to talk with her, she was in a different kind of state.
0:33:50 > 0:33:53And then they came back about ten minutes after and said that
0:33:53 > 0:33:57she's dying and I went in and she was pretty cold.
0:34:03 > 0:34:06These are all for the funeral.
0:34:08 > 0:34:10I'll get the poem. It's a poem I read to her.
0:34:15 > 0:34:19"Soon we shall die and all memory of those five will have left earth,
0:34:19 > 0:34:22"and we ourselves shall be loved for a while and forgotten.
0:34:22 > 0:34:25"But the love will have been enough;
0:34:25 > 0:34:29"all those impulses of love return to the love that made them.
0:34:29 > 0:34:32"Even memory is not necessary for love.
0:34:32 > 0:34:35"There is a land of the living and a land of the dead
0:34:35 > 0:34:39"and the bridge is love, the only survival, the only meaning."
0:34:53 > 0:34:57I'll keep a couple of these rows for the...
0:34:57 > 0:34:59That's where they're going to be...
0:35:01 > 0:35:03If the thing here, they could just be behind me here
0:35:03 > 0:35:05just in an arc around behind me.
0:35:08 > 0:35:12INAUDIBLE I don't know, let's just see. OK.
0:35:29 > 0:35:34ORGAN MUSIC PLAYS
0:36:04 > 0:36:08Good morning, everyone, and welcome to our service.
0:36:08 > 0:36:12It's a service of thanksgiving for the life of Marjorie
0:36:12 > 0:36:16and it's lovely to see you all here as friends from the village,
0:36:16 > 0:36:20friends from over the years and family members, as well.
0:36:20 > 0:36:24Lovely to welcome you all here and it's lovely to have
0:36:24 > 0:36:27a contingent from the Calvary Church of God in Christ.
0:36:27 > 0:36:29I think in Tottenham, is that right?
0:36:32 > 0:36:35Mum was a good and gentle woman.
0:36:37 > 0:36:43Bob and I have had the privilege to support her in recent times
0:36:43 > 0:36:46in the ways that she supported us as children.
0:36:46 > 0:36:49The sudden death took us by surprise, especially Bob,
0:36:49 > 0:36:54who was with her at the end as a source of comfort and reassurance.
0:36:55 > 0:37:00The circumstances of her death were unusual, but it all worked out
0:37:00 > 0:37:05in a way that was unforeseeable, but gentle, peaceful and loving.
0:37:07 > 0:37:13Marjorie was a good, much-loved and appreciated mum.
0:37:13 > 0:37:25# Tempted and tried We're oft' made to wonder
0:37:25 > 0:37:34# Why it should be thus all the day long
0:37:34 > 0:37:43# Farther along we'll know more about it
0:37:43 > 0:37:52# Farther along we'll understand why
0:37:52 > 0:37:58# Cheer up, my brother... #
0:37:58 > 0:38:02You should never say bad things about the dead.
0:38:02 > 0:38:05She's dead - good!
0:38:05 > 0:38:07God has lifted her.
0:38:07 > 0:38:10He's taken her up. Praise God!
0:38:10 > 0:38:11Bless His Holiness. Hallelujah!
0:38:11 > 0:38:14Jesus is here with us today.
0:38:14 > 0:38:17Marjorie is here with us in church
0:38:17 > 0:38:20and I want to give God the praise and the thanksgiving
0:38:20 > 0:38:23and the hope and the charity and everything
0:38:23 > 0:38:25he brings for us here today.
0:38:25 > 0:38:28Jesus died that we might live!
0:38:28 > 0:38:31Marjorie died that we too might live.
0:38:31 > 0:38:33She wants us to live.
0:38:33 > 0:38:36OK, now, I've forgotten the next bit.
0:38:37 > 0:38:39I want to do this little bit here.
0:38:39 > 0:38:40Oh, yeah, I know.
0:38:40 > 0:38:43I want you to turn round to your neighbour
0:38:43 > 0:38:46whoever it is - male, female,
0:38:46 > 0:38:49young, old, good, bad...
0:38:49 > 0:38:50LAUGHTER
0:38:50 > 0:38:53..ugly, beautiful, anything like that...
0:38:53 > 0:38:57Look them in the eye and I want you to give them a great big cuddle.
0:38:57 > 0:38:59A great big cuddle.
0:38:59 > 0:39:03Everyone next to you, whoever it is, give them a big cuddle.
0:39:05 > 0:39:08This is what Marjorie would want.
0:39:17 > 0:39:20OK, now, she liked me to sing this song,
0:39:20 > 0:39:23so, choir, are you ready? OK.
0:39:27 > 0:39:32# When the night has come
0:39:33 > 0:39:36# And the land is dark
0:39:36 > 0:39:41# And the moon is the only light I'll see
0:39:43 > 0:39:47# No, I won't be afraid
0:39:47 > 0:39:51# No, I won't shed a tear
0:39:51 > 0:39:54# Just as long as you stand
0:39:54 > 0:39:57# You stand by me. #
0:39:57 > 0:39:58Jesus would want this.
0:39:58 > 0:40:00Jesus wants it.
0:40:00 > 0:40:03Yes, he does. Yes, he does.
0:40:03 > 0:40:05Yes, he does. Yeah!
0:40:05 > 0:40:07APPLAUSE
0:40:19 > 0:40:22After the funeral, Bob and Tom travel to Canvey Island,
0:40:22 > 0:40:25where they'd taken holidays as children.
0:40:26 > 0:40:28I haven't done this since I was a kid.
0:40:30 > 0:40:32I've got to do this.
0:40:36 > 0:40:38Oh, no!
0:40:41 > 0:40:45Oh, boy! I feel sick now.
0:40:47 > 0:40:52Canvey was where my mum's father and mother had a little cottage
0:40:52 > 0:40:57and my mum used to come here before the war and during the war
0:40:57 > 0:40:59and look after her mum.
0:40:59 > 0:41:03For us, it was escape from school and mundane things
0:41:03 > 0:41:04that it was just...
0:41:04 > 0:41:06Well, I think Bob has said and I agree,
0:41:06 > 0:41:09that it was her idea of paradise or heaven.
0:41:12 > 0:41:14Total paradise.
0:41:17 > 0:41:19I think it was a lovely childhood.
0:41:19 > 0:41:23We had a happy family, Mum was saying, up until the point
0:41:23 > 0:41:25where we went to grammar school
0:41:25 > 0:41:29and Dad could act like a father figure, be a dad.
0:41:29 > 0:41:31They were probably the happiest days of our lives, I think,
0:41:31 > 0:41:34when we used to come here.
0:41:34 > 0:41:38Today's such a great day. It is, it's a beautiful day.
0:41:56 > 0:41:58Can you play the song from three years ago?
0:41:58 > 0:42:00What the Snowdrops On The...?
0:42:00 > 0:42:01I can't remember the words.
0:42:02 > 0:42:04Some... Someone was dying.
0:42:04 > 0:42:08I know, it was my mum, wasn't it? Song...
0:42:08 > 0:42:10Yeah, I know. It was a good one, wasn't it?
0:42:10 > 0:42:12Steven asked if you want to play it again.
0:42:13 > 0:42:15I can't... Let me have...
0:42:15 > 0:42:17I'll have to have a think.
0:42:26 > 0:42:29HUMMING
0:42:29 > 0:42:31Oh, dear.
0:42:31 > 0:42:34That needs the blue brush.
0:42:35 > 0:42:38So I like to do encaustic because it's the most permanent
0:42:38 > 0:42:40form of painting there is.
0:42:42 > 0:42:46What I'm representing here is that moment of traumatic impact,
0:42:46 > 0:42:48then the bags are going down.
0:42:48 > 0:42:49Up to that I was asleep,
0:42:49 > 0:42:54and after that I was unconscious just for a second - a split second.
0:42:54 > 0:42:59So that's what I'm representing, just that moment.
0:43:01 > 0:43:04Having laid his mother to rest, Bob was flourishing.
0:43:04 > 0:43:07He was making art again and, for the first time,
0:43:07 > 0:43:10a respected institution had asked to show his work.
0:43:13 > 0:43:16He'd dedicated the exhibition to Marjorie
0:43:16 > 0:43:18and had been working on a new painting
0:43:18 > 0:43:22depicting the accident and its aftermath.
0:43:22 > 0:43:27So, it's like the gap between his painting and his performance.
0:43:27 > 0:43:31I've got all the quotes, it's really good, of what my mum said
0:43:31 > 0:43:34over the last four years.
0:43:34 > 0:43:35They are ever so good.
0:43:35 > 0:43:37Mum says when she dies,
0:43:37 > 0:43:40"Something will be released in me that's special -
0:43:40 > 0:43:45"to be able to express that specialness in my art."
0:43:45 > 0:43:48"17th June, Mum thinks I've created
0:43:48 > 0:43:50"a magic garden here in Sway.
0:43:50 > 0:43:55"1st July, traced round mum for the second study for the crucifixion.
0:43:56 > 0:44:01"26th August, Mum's scared of going blind and deaf.
0:44:01 > 0:44:04"18th December, Mum sees her work done now.
0:44:04 > 0:44:06"I have achieved the crucifixion.
0:44:07 > 0:44:10"3rd March 2010,
0:44:10 > 0:44:13"Mum says I should never phone her if I have the chance to have
0:44:13 > 0:44:17"a hot chocolate with a pretty girl because she's on her way out.
0:44:17 > 0:44:22"4th February, Mum's worried about my skimpy running shorts.
0:44:22 > 0:44:27"5th June, Mum wants it to end - not to go through another night
0:44:27 > 0:44:29"like she did last night again.
0:44:29 > 0:44:33"10th November, Mum told me I'm the only person who's loved her
0:44:33 > 0:44:35"for what she is.
0:44:35 > 0:44:40"3rd March, Mum died yesterday.
0:44:40 > 0:44:43"28th, Mum is my soul."
0:44:55 > 0:44:56The show was a success.
0:44:57 > 0:45:01He'd finally been recognised by his peers.
0:45:01 > 0:45:04But the gallery was full of portraits of his mother.
0:45:06 > 0:45:10Right in the centre, a photograph of her on her deathbed
0:45:10 > 0:45:12surrounded by Bob's handwritten notes
0:45:12 > 0:45:16penned immediately after the accident.
0:45:17 > 0:45:20# Change is gonna come
0:45:20 > 0:45:22# Oh, yes, it is... #
0:45:41 > 0:45:45"..Parks preaches a philosophy of the ecstatic -
0:45:45 > 0:45:49"a shattering Hammond-soaked testimonial that draws on
0:45:49 > 0:45:50"gospel-inflected sensibility
0:45:50 > 0:45:53"he calls the 'rhythm and blues feeling'."
0:45:53 > 0:45:59This is the first review that I've ever read in an art magazine,
0:45:59 > 0:46:01so it's the first one I've ever had in my life
0:46:01 > 0:46:04and I've never read anything like this.
0:46:04 > 0:46:06"Reappearing in many different guises,
0:46:06 > 0:46:10"Parks's recently deceased mother is a pivotal figure.
0:46:10 > 0:46:12"She died in a car accident earlier this year,
0:46:12 > 0:46:14"in which Parks was the driver.
0:46:14 > 0:46:18"The fatal event and its emotional repercussions were recounted in
0:46:18 > 0:46:20"a disquieting triptych
0:46:20 > 0:46:23"that comprised of Parks's handwritten account
0:46:23 > 0:46:25"penned immediately after the collision.
0:46:25 > 0:46:27"It's an intensely powerful work.
0:46:27 > 0:46:30"Surveying it felt disconcertingly intimate, even voyeuristic."
0:46:30 > 0:46:32And right at the end, he says,
0:46:32 > 0:46:36"And The Heavens Cried - an apocalyptic vision
0:46:36 > 0:46:39"fit for the most arresting solo exhibition
0:46:39 > 0:46:41"I've seen this year."
0:46:41 > 0:46:43So that's wonderful.
0:46:57 > 0:47:00'It's my fault.
0:47:00 > 0:47:04'I killed my mum.
0:47:04 > 0:47:08'I didn't kill her on purpose but, you know,
0:47:08 > 0:47:11'you can say that God works in mysterious ways.
0:47:11 > 0:47:13'She certainly wanted to be dead.
0:47:13 > 0:47:15'She was fed up with being alive.
0:47:19 > 0:47:23'So I think, in a way, it was merciful.'
0:47:56 > 0:47:59So this is the tree that killed my mum.
0:47:59 > 0:48:01So it wasn't me, it was the tree.
0:48:03 > 0:48:04She loved trees. She used...
0:48:04 > 0:48:07They're very open things and...
0:48:11 > 0:48:13# Thank you, trees. #
0:48:18 > 0:48:20The tree doesn't feel guilty at all.
0:48:22 > 0:48:26HE HUMS
0:48:39 > 0:48:42'The '60s was about the sexual revolution.'
0:48:42 > 0:48:45I believe this decade will be about death.
0:48:46 > 0:48:47And...
0:48:48 > 0:48:51..Mum's left me some sort of a legacy.
0:48:53 > 0:48:56She's given me this gift through her death
0:48:56 > 0:49:03of having the freedom to explore what she more or less
0:49:03 > 0:49:06sacrificed in the last third of her life for me.
0:49:07 > 0:49:12I think Los Angeles could act as a catalyst
0:49:12 > 0:49:16to spark off, I guess, this gestation...
0:49:16 > 0:49:18These 30 years of gestation.
0:49:18 > 0:49:19Um...
0:49:23 > 0:49:25It's like bringing...
0:49:25 > 0:49:28It's like bringing the thing full circle.
0:49:28 > 0:49:30It's like...
0:49:30 > 0:49:32Almost like a canvas...
0:49:32 > 0:49:34Finishing a painting.
0:49:50 > 0:49:53Everything I've been through with Mum
0:49:53 > 0:49:55is tuned into the vibe of LA.
0:49:58 > 0:50:01My belief is, if I bring that back,
0:50:01 > 0:50:03it will complete Mum's life and, in that,
0:50:03 > 0:50:05complete my own life.
0:50:14 > 0:50:17It's for a performance I'm doing. Oh, really?
0:50:17 > 0:50:19Have you got one size bigger, too?
0:50:19 > 0:50:21This is the biggest size that we have.
0:50:21 > 0:50:23This is 24 by 36.
0:50:23 > 0:50:25That's the one I want.
0:50:25 > 0:50:26Yeah.
0:50:28 > 0:50:29Christ, is that heavy?
0:50:29 > 0:50:32Not really. That's cool.
0:50:32 > 0:50:34Right, let's get the sables first. OK.
0:50:36 > 0:50:37To honour his mother,
0:50:37 > 0:50:40Bob had brought her ashes back to LA for a final performance.
0:50:40 > 0:50:42He was planning an elaborate ritual
0:50:42 > 0:50:44and, as part of this process,
0:50:44 > 0:50:47looked for advice from one of LA's many Hispanic spiritualists.
0:50:47 > 0:50:50We can read your palms of your hands.
0:50:50 > 0:50:52We can read the cards. Do you do astrology? Of course we do that.
0:50:52 > 0:50:55And we can also do a cigar.
0:50:55 > 0:50:57The cigar will tell you which way you've got to go,
0:50:57 > 0:51:00because the cigar will talk to the angels and to the spirits.
0:51:00 > 0:51:02Mm-hmm. Therefore, we can put you on the right track.
0:51:02 > 0:51:04He's the master.
0:51:04 > 0:51:06He's a very spiritual man. Yes, absolutely.
0:51:06 > 0:51:08He can talk to the dead
0:51:08 > 0:51:10and bring you the dead, and he can communicate...
0:51:10 > 0:51:12I work different spirits. "I work different spirits."
0:51:12 > 0:51:15I was driving a car. HE TRANSLATES
0:51:15 > 0:51:18I crashed the car...into a tree.
0:51:20 > 0:51:22My mother died.
0:51:22 > 0:51:24I killed my mother...
0:51:24 > 0:51:26by accident.
0:51:26 > 0:51:29Now, I want this to be
0:51:29 > 0:51:31my praise to my mother
0:51:31 > 0:51:33for saving my spiritual life.
0:51:33 > 0:51:35HE TRANSLATES
0:51:35 > 0:51:39In here, I have my mother's...
0:51:39 > 0:51:40My mother's...
0:51:40 > 0:51:42It's cremated.
0:51:42 > 0:51:43I want to mix...
0:51:44 > 0:51:48Make a cross of your paste.
0:51:48 > 0:51:51So, how do I make the dough?
0:51:51 > 0:51:53You can buy one sack of flour,
0:51:53 > 0:51:54say about a pound, pound and a half.
0:51:54 > 0:51:56One pound.
0:51:56 > 0:51:58Plain flour or self-raising? Exactly.
0:51:58 > 0:52:00Plain flour? Plain flour.
0:52:01 > 0:52:03OK.
0:52:03 > 0:52:04Come this way, please.
0:52:09 > 0:52:10Repeat after me.
0:52:10 > 0:52:12En el espiritu de mi madre...
0:52:12 > 0:52:15In the spirit of my mother... In the spirit of my mother...
0:52:15 > 0:52:16..nunca para deja mi...
0:52:16 > 0:52:18..will never let me go. ..will NEVER let me go.
0:52:18 > 0:52:20Ni un momento!
0:52:20 > 0:52:22Not even a second! Not even for a second.
0:52:22 > 0:52:23Como el poder de Dios.
0:52:23 > 0:52:26By the power of God... By the power of God...
0:52:26 > 0:52:27HE CONTINUES IN SPANISH
0:52:27 > 0:52:30..it will be with me into the rest of my life.
0:52:30 > 0:52:31It will be with me
0:52:31 > 0:52:33for the rest of my life.
0:52:40 > 0:52:42HE HUMS
0:52:42 > 0:52:45See, the Mexican Day of the Dead,
0:52:45 > 0:52:47food gets put out
0:52:47 > 0:52:49and the spirit comes down
0:52:49 > 0:52:51and they take the essence,
0:52:51 > 0:52:52they take the flavour, out of the food.
0:52:54 > 0:52:55Here's Mum.
0:52:55 > 0:52:58The little bit I left...
0:52:59 > 0:53:00Well, in you go, Mum.
0:53:01 > 0:53:03The whole of Mum.
0:53:04 > 0:53:06HE EXHALES
0:53:06 > 0:53:07HE HUMS
0:53:10 > 0:53:14HE HUMS
0:53:17 > 0:53:19HE GRUNTS
0:53:19 > 0:53:20Get some...
0:53:20 > 0:53:23some real... HE GRUNTS
0:53:31 > 0:53:33INTERVIEWER: How does it feel?
0:53:33 > 0:53:34Yes.
0:53:34 > 0:53:36I like to get my hands...
0:53:36 > 0:53:39Getting in touch with clay again, I like it.
0:53:39 > 0:53:42But that's the last of your mum.
0:53:42 > 0:53:43Who knows? There's little bits here.
0:53:43 > 0:53:45I've got to get all the bits.
0:53:45 > 0:53:46That's the last of Mum.
0:53:46 > 0:53:49Actually, it's not the last, cos I'm going to bake her.
0:53:49 > 0:53:50Yeah, but, you know,
0:53:50 > 0:53:52this process is the last of Mum.
0:53:53 > 0:53:56Really, it's preserving Mum.
0:53:56 > 0:53:58It's not saying goodbye to Mum, it's...
0:54:06 > 0:54:07There it is.
0:54:08 > 0:54:09INDISTINCT
0:54:13 > 0:54:14Here...
0:54:17 > 0:54:19Here are my pencils.
0:54:20 > 0:54:22So...
0:54:22 > 0:54:24Then I'm going to use this and nail it,
0:54:24 > 0:54:26so it becomes a Russian cross
0:54:26 > 0:54:27cos I have that cross motif there.
0:54:27 > 0:54:30Then I get my little men going.
0:54:32 > 0:54:34This is Khmer Rouge.
0:54:35 > 0:54:37It's like a visceral thing,
0:54:37 > 0:54:39just to bring the whole thing and
0:54:39 > 0:54:41take it out the pomposity of ritual,
0:54:41 > 0:54:43as practised historically,
0:54:43 > 0:54:45and into the everyday.
0:54:45 > 0:54:47Like a game.
0:54:47 > 0:54:49A game that is played by rules and that's real.
0:54:52 > 0:54:53So, it's not posing.
0:54:53 > 0:54:55BEEP
0:54:55 > 0:54:57It's been doing that all night.
0:55:01 > 0:55:03It's devotive offering,
0:55:03 > 0:55:05the art object
0:55:05 > 0:55:07becomes metaphysically charged...
0:55:07 > 0:55:09cos she's actually there.
0:55:09 > 0:55:11I mean, literally, her bones that have been cremated
0:55:11 > 0:55:13are literally there,
0:55:13 > 0:55:16so her physicality is literally there. It's not... You know.
0:55:16 > 0:55:19So, this is a visual manifestation
0:55:19 > 0:55:21of the underpinning philosophy
0:55:21 > 0:55:23that makes Los Angeles unique,
0:55:23 > 0:55:25that makes my creative search unique,
0:55:25 > 0:55:29that makes Mum's life unique,
0:55:29 > 0:55:32ie she died,
0:55:32 > 0:55:34took my psychosis with her.
0:55:34 > 0:55:37I'm able to use my art now -
0:55:37 > 0:55:39whereas, for 35 years,
0:55:39 > 0:55:40I've had an audience of one.
0:55:53 > 0:55:54Don't touch me.
0:55:54 > 0:55:56Don't leave me.
0:55:56 > 0:55:58Kiss me.
0:55:58 > 0:56:00Heal me with your loving power.
0:56:03 > 0:56:05Come with me into your world,
0:56:05 > 0:56:06into your arms.
0:56:08 > 0:56:10Don't leave me. Not now.
0:56:10 > 0:56:14Now that you've given me so much of yourself to love.
0:56:14 > 0:56:16Now that you've shared with me
0:56:16 > 0:56:18that which I have never found in myself.
0:56:41 > 0:56:45HE PLAYS QUIETLY
0:56:49 > 0:56:54HE PLAYS LOUDLY
0:56:59 > 0:57:01AIR RASPS
0:57:06 > 0:57:11HE PLAYS
0:57:24 > 0:57:32HE WAILS
0:57:32 > 0:57:38HE CHANTS
0:57:45 > 0:57:52HE ROARS
0:58:31 > 0:58:33# Bignose doesn't get on in life
0:58:33 > 0:58:35# Bignose doesn't get rich
0:58:35 > 0:58:37# Bignose keeps his identity
0:58:37 > 0:58:39# That's the dream it won't ditch
0:58:39 > 0:58:41# Bignose tries to feel everything
0:58:41 > 0:58:43# Bignose doesn't succeed
0:58:43 > 0:58:45# Everything isn't anything
0:58:45 > 0:58:47# Cos I'm only a weed
0:58:47 > 0:58:49# We are all poor and struggling
0:58:49 > 0:58:51# If we'd only be true
0:58:51 > 0:58:54# Don't resist, don't be powerful
0:58:54 > 0:58:56# This concerns me and you. #
0:58:56 > 0:58:57That's the first two verses.
0:58:57 > 0:58:58CHEERING
0:58:58 > 0:59:01APPLAUSE