0:02:28 > 0:02:33Spike Milligan and Eric Sykes' office. Good morning.
0:02:33 > 0:02:35Who's calling?
0:02:35 > 0:02:37No.
0:02:39 > 0:02:42Morning, Janet. How are you?
0:02:42 > 0:02:46- Fine, and you?- Did you have a good night?- Not bad. And you?
0:02:46 > 0:02:48- Good audience?- Picking up.
0:02:48 > 0:02:51Good. Glad to hear it.
0:02:51 > 0:02:54- Was Eric all right?- Yes, fine.
0:02:54 > 0:02:57- Good.- I'll just get your tea.
0:03:08 > 0:03:15HATTIE JACQUES: 'You know that one three down, five letters, brother and sister born at the same time?
0:03:15 > 0:03:17'That was "twins".'
0:03:17 > 0:03:20LAUGHTER
0:03:20 > 0:03:22ERIC SYKES: 'I put that in.
0:03:22 > 0:03:25'No, you put "twits".'
0:03:25 > 0:03:27LAUGHTER
0:03:27 > 0:03:31'I was thinking of us.'
0:03:35 > 0:03:38MALE VOICE: 'It's all done with mirrors.'
0:03:49 > 0:03:51KNOCK ON DOOR
0:03:54 > 0:03:56< Hi, Eric!
0:03:56 > 0:03:59Morning.
0:04:02 > 0:04:04- Morning, Janet.- Hi.
0:04:10 > 0:04:15TOMMY COOPER: 'To look at me, you wouldn't think I've had the flu.
0:04:15 > 0:04:18'I was in bed with 104.
0:04:18 > 0:04:20'That's a lot of people in one bed.'
0:04:20 > 0:04:23LAUGHTER
0:04:46 > 0:04:49Every morning, Eric has his cup of coffee.
0:04:49 > 0:04:54And this is the mug that Norma gave him - "Golfaholic".
0:04:55 > 0:04:59Plus he always has his four ginger nuts.
0:04:59 > 0:05:02Not three or five - four.
0:05:02 > 0:05:08If there's too little, he asks for more, and if there's too many, he just doesn't eat them.
0:05:25 > 0:05:28No, not in a couple of days' time.
0:05:28 > 0:05:33Eric's in the West End at the moment in Caught In The Net.
0:05:37 > 0:05:41No, I'm sorry. Really, he's absolutely...
0:05:42 > 0:05:45OK. Thank you. Bye-bye.
0:05:46 > 0:05:50Next week, rehearsals(!) They're all mad.
0:05:54 > 0:05:58WOMAN'S VOICE: 'The biggest majority of Lancashire girls for cotton.
0:05:58 > 0:06:03'We all had to go to the mills. They were weaving, winding, reeling,
0:06:03 > 0:06:07'blanket seller, picking the cops. They were everything.
0:06:07 > 0:06:14'I was brought up in a world of cotton mills. Cobbled streets, rows of identical houses
0:06:14 > 0:06:16'differing only in numbers.
0:06:16 > 0:06:23'Early memory - used to lie in bed and hear the sound of clogs like giant ratchets
0:06:23 > 0:06:30'as sleepy workers streamed down Ward Street in the darkness to the factories.
0:06:30 > 0:06:38'Ten minutes of endless clop-clopping, the cacophony of clogs and a sudden petering out.
0:06:38 > 0:06:43'A silence broken only by the mournful factory hooter.
0:06:43 > 0:06:49'It's then I waited. Seconds, minutes I stared at the dark ceiling
0:06:49 > 0:06:52'and waited.
0:06:52 > 0:06:56'And, eventually, the scrambled, frenzied panic-stricken clack-clack
0:06:56 > 0:06:59'of the one who was going to be late.
0:06:59 > 0:07:05'Whether it was the same person every day, I don't know.
0:07:05 > 0:07:07'But he was the one I will remember.
0:07:07 > 0:07:14'That pitiful slockering of clogs as he made his way to the implacable iron gates of the factory.
0:07:15 > 0:07:20'I know now why I'll never forget him -
0:07:20 > 0:07:24'it was me, and is.'
0:07:24 > 0:07:27MUSIC: "Clair De Lune" by Debussy
0:07:29 > 0:07:33'May 1923 was a very momentous year.
0:07:33 > 0:07:40'In the British Empire in that year, cotton was king and my father was working in the cotton mills.
0:07:43 > 0:07:46'The Duke of York was married.
0:07:46 > 0:07:49'He became King George VI,
0:07:49 > 0:07:54'and his wife, the Queen Mother, is still alive, God bless her.
0:07:58 > 0:08:04'The Communist Party hold a mass rally in Hyde Park - one of the first ever.
0:08:05 > 0:08:09'We had a new prime minister - Stanley Baldwin.
0:08:09 > 0:08:14'And of course, the year 1923 was the first Cup Final at Wembley Stadium,
0:08:14 > 0:08:21'when it is in history books about the policeman on the white horse and spectators invaded the pitch.
0:08:23 > 0:08:27'Incidentally, it was Bolton against West Ham.
0:08:29 > 0:08:33'But the most momentous thing about May 1923 -
0:08:33 > 0:08:35'I was born.
0:08:35 > 0:08:38'Well, it was important to me!'
0:08:51 > 0:08:56If I want to write something, it seems to be here.
0:08:56 > 0:09:01The minute I come in through the door there and I close it,
0:09:01 > 0:09:05then I'm in MY world...
0:09:05 > 0:09:08of creation.
0:09:08 > 0:09:12I can't tell you how many shows I've written here,
0:09:12 > 0:09:17or how many films, and everything I've learnt.
0:09:50 > 0:09:56I used to have the floor above, the office above, but now I've got the ballroom suite!
0:09:56 > 0:10:02It's got icing on the ceiling. You wouldn't believe it was derelict.
0:10:15 > 0:10:19All of the photographs that I have around
0:10:19 > 0:10:23depict my life from almost when I started.
0:10:38 > 0:10:41See, my comedy is 1,000 years old.
0:10:41 > 0:10:46Comedy is what you laugh at. If you laugh at it honestly, it's funny.
0:10:46 > 0:10:49If it's funny, it's comedy.
0:10:56 > 0:10:59I didn't know I could write.
0:10:59 > 0:11:06A fortune teller - this was when I was in my first revue in Swansea, opening night.
0:11:06 > 0:11:10She came to the digs where everyone was staying.
0:11:10 > 0:11:12She told my fortune and she said,
0:11:12 > 0:11:16"Your mother's dead, isn't she?" I said, "Yeah."
0:11:16 > 0:11:22She said, "She's been dead a long time." I said, "She died at childbirth. I never knew her."
0:11:22 > 0:11:30And she said, "Do you ever feel that someone's walked over your grave, like a touch on the shoulder?"
0:11:30 > 0:11:33I said, "Yeah." I didn't, actually.
0:11:33 > 0:11:37But I didn't want her to feel unhappy.
0:11:37 > 0:11:41And then a few weeks after that, I felt something like that.
0:11:41 > 0:11:46The same day, I wrote a very funny thing.
0:11:46 > 0:11:52And then I started to write other funny things for other people.
0:11:52 > 0:11:56And I realised that I could write.
0:11:56 > 0:12:01And since then, whenever I've got that thing,
0:12:01 > 0:12:08I know I'm going to do something good or something wonderful will happen. And that is my mother -
0:12:08 > 0:12:11although we never met.
0:12:18 > 0:12:23All I have of my mother is that picture.
0:12:29 > 0:12:31He's very orderly...
0:12:31 > 0:12:33very punctual.
0:12:33 > 0:12:38Likes everything to be exactly as it was.
0:12:38 > 0:12:40Hates change.
0:12:40 > 0:12:44And it's a lot of fun with Eric.
0:12:49 > 0:12:54We've been in the same building since August 1966.
0:12:54 > 0:12:58But I didn't start looking after Eric until '84, '85.
0:12:58 > 0:13:01I was looking after Spike in 1966,
0:13:01 > 0:13:04but it was about '84, '85 with Eric.
0:13:04 > 0:13:10How did that come about that you started to work with Eric?
0:13:10 > 0:13:14Well, we'd always been in the same building, as I say,
0:13:14 > 0:13:18and Eric's manager had a terrible accident.
0:13:18 > 0:13:21He died, in fact.
0:13:21 > 0:13:24And he asked me to sort him out.
0:13:24 > 0:13:29At the time, I said, "I've got enough on my plate with Spike.
0:13:29 > 0:13:35"I'll run the office until you get someone." And it just developed from there.
0:13:35 > 0:13:39When we had an office in Shepherd's Bush,
0:13:39 > 0:13:42I used to go into the Shepherd's Bush market.
0:13:42 > 0:13:45They sold everything.
0:13:45 > 0:13:50And I saw this photograph and it was all burnt round the edges.
0:13:50 > 0:13:53So I had all of that cut off and had it framed.
0:13:53 > 0:13:58So when people come into the office and say, "Who's these two?"
0:13:58 > 0:14:02I say, "Search me. No idea."
0:14:02 > 0:14:08"So why have you got it up there?" I say, "Because aren't they a lovely couple?"
0:14:08 > 0:14:15That's how you used to get married - a carpet in the dirt in the back yard so they don't mess their shoes.
0:14:15 > 0:14:18That's what we were like.
0:14:18 > 0:14:23I got it because I like the people.
0:14:23 > 0:14:27So that was the world that you were a child in?
0:14:27 > 0:14:30Yes, but they were probably a London couple.
0:14:30 > 0:14:34They're still poor.
0:14:34 > 0:14:41You were saying something that Hattie once said that you wanted to be a tram driver as a kid.
0:14:41 > 0:14:45Well, I used that in a TV show with Hattie Jacques.
0:14:45 > 0:14:53She said, "No, you can't come this, Eric, cos your ambition was to be a tram driver."
0:14:53 > 0:14:56I said, "No, not just any tram.
0:14:56 > 0:15:01"It had to be the illuminated tram at Blackpool. Blackpool illuminations."
0:15:01 > 0:15:05And I think that sums it up.
0:15:09 > 0:15:12OK, off you go.
0:15:12 > 0:15:16Have you seen what they've done to 136?
0:15:16 > 0:15:19What, the Sykes? Who else?
0:15:19 > 0:15:22Oh, no!
0:15:26 > 0:15:30Ooh, Mr Parker!
0:15:31 > 0:15:36What have you done to it?
0:15:36 > 0:15:38Just brightened it up a bit.
0:15:38 > 0:15:41Well, get it off. This is a bus, not a mobile nightclub.
0:15:41 > 0:15:45Here, look what I've found!
0:15:45 > 0:15:48Hello, Inspector.
0:15:48 > 0:15:50Seen any lions?
0:15:50 > 0:15:53Upstairs or downstairs, Eric?
0:15:53 > 0:15:58- I think that'll go nicely under the picture of Prince Philip.- Very nice.
0:15:58 > 0:16:01Ready to roll!
0:16:02 > 0:16:05When I was a child,
0:16:05 > 0:16:11I used to write doggerel verse, five lines - Nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah
0:16:11 > 0:16:15nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah.
0:16:15 > 0:16:17I was eight years old then.
0:16:17 > 0:16:21I can remember sitting on the cold oilcloth at night
0:16:21 > 0:16:26and listening to my father reading out the poems to his cronies.
0:16:26 > 0:16:31So probably that was when I started being a writer.
0:16:31 > 0:16:33I don't know.
0:16:38 > 0:16:43I did want to do something, but I didn't know what.
0:16:43 > 0:16:48But the world was your oyster, as long as you didn't get rickets.
0:17:01 > 0:17:07"International fishing contest. Bogsea is a resort on the South Coast of England.
0:17:07 > 0:17:15"It wasn't in the premier league of holiday resorts. In fact, if all the resorts were a set of teeth..."
0:17:15 > 0:17:20" ..In fact, if all the resorts were a set of teeth,
0:17:20 > 0:17:24"Bogsea would be the one that had to come out."
0:17:43 > 0:17:50"By a freak of nature, gales lashed other happy places on the coast, but Bogsea would face a hurricane.
0:17:50 > 0:17:55"In fact, it was said in Brighton, some 30 miles away..."
0:17:55 > 0:17:59" ..It was said in Brighton, some 30 miles away,
0:17:59 > 0:18:02"they had most of Bogsea's beach."
0:18:06 > 0:18:10I've got a thing called macular disciform.
0:18:10 > 0:18:15Virtually, they thought... Well, it's incurable.
0:18:15 > 0:18:19But they said it always happened to the elderly.
0:18:19 > 0:18:22It's the back of the eye wears out.
0:18:22 > 0:18:25I still do a lot of writing.
0:18:25 > 0:18:30It might sound odd to you, a man who can't see is doing a lot of writing.
0:18:30 > 0:18:37But then again, you close your eyes and start to write and it probably turns out how you visualise it.
0:18:38 > 0:18:42I remember once I did four foolscap sheets.
0:18:42 > 0:18:46I took them down to Jenny and I said, "Type this."
0:18:46 > 0:18:49Apparently, she went to see Norma and said,
0:18:49 > 0:18:56"I don't know how to tell him." "What?" "There's nothing on these four sheets."
0:18:56 > 0:18:59All there was was the indentation.
0:18:59 > 0:19:02My pen had ran out of ink, that's all.
0:19:02 > 0:19:04A slight mishap.
0:19:08 > 0:19:12I went to a very famous optician.
0:19:12 > 0:19:19And he looked at my eye and the back of the eye where it had worn out.
0:19:19 > 0:19:25I said, "What do you think of the back of the eye?" He said, "It's a bomb site!"
0:19:25 > 0:19:28- PHONE BLEEPS - Yes?
0:19:28 > 0:19:29Yes.
0:19:29 > 0:19:34Yes, all right, Norma. Well, come up right now.
0:19:34 > 0:19:36OK.
0:19:36 > 0:19:43You are about to meet Norma Farnes, my manager, my mentor, someone who looks after me.
0:19:43 > 0:19:47We get on like a house on fire.
0:19:49 > 0:19:51Anyway...
0:19:51 > 0:19:53Come in!
0:19:53 > 0:19:56Hi, darling.
0:19:56 > 0:19:59Hello, love. Now, then...
0:20:00 > 0:20:03- For you.- Who am I? I'm Eric!
0:20:07 > 0:20:08Oh!
0:20:08 > 0:20:11Eric!
0:20:16 > 0:20:19There's not too much, Eric.
0:20:19 > 0:20:22I'm trying to keep some of it away from you.
0:20:22 > 0:20:25This is the things I need to know today.
0:20:28 > 0:20:36Your Christmas cards have arrived from the Royal and Ancient, the golf club.
0:20:36 > 0:20:38Can you see it?
0:20:38 > 0:20:43If you like them, I'll order them for you. It's a nice one.
0:20:43 > 0:20:47That's the burn running across. Why is it white?
0:20:47 > 0:20:51It's a Christmas card. They've got snow there.
0:20:51 > 0:20:57How many Christmases is it since we had snow?
0:20:57 > 0:20:59- Shall I order them?- Yes, please.
0:20:59 > 0:21:07Do you want to go into spotlight again? It's you without any glasses and a hat on -
0:21:07 > 0:21:09a little woolly hat.
0:21:09 > 0:21:14- All right. Fine.- Do you want to use that picture again?
0:21:14 > 0:21:17Yeah, put it in.
0:21:17 > 0:21:21We've been out it so long, people'll think I've passed on.
0:21:21 > 0:21:25There's a letter here from Talent Television.
0:21:25 > 0:21:30They are going to do a thing called It's Your Funeral.
0:21:30 > 0:21:37And after the success of the first series, both critically and publicly,
0:21:37 > 0:21:43it's been recommissioned and they're doing insight into the lives of popular celebrities,
0:21:43 > 0:21:50revealing a side that is rarely seen through an alternative one-on-one discussion.
0:21:50 > 0:21:56They have a wide variety. The first guest was Brian Blessed,
0:21:56 > 0:22:01who surprised with a reading from his friend, Kenneth Branagh.
0:22:01 > 0:22:07They're in the studio from the 25th of November to the 30th of November.
0:22:07 > 0:22:10They wondered if you'd like to take part.
0:22:10 > 0:22:13I don't quite know what they want.
0:22:13 > 0:22:19They say it's "an edgy, thought-provoking and insightful series
0:22:19 > 0:22:25"of 13 half-hour shows that give some of Britain's best-loved personalities
0:22:25 > 0:22:32"the chance to talk about their lives and love in the context of arranging their own sendoffs."
0:22:32 > 0:22:38"It's a kind of This Is Your Life meets Desert Island Discs..."
0:22:38 > 0:22:42Sorry to break you up here.
0:22:42 > 0:22:47- This is half an hour with me? - Yeah. On a one-to-one basis.
0:22:47 > 0:22:54Basically saying, Eric, what you would like to send you off.
0:22:54 > 0:22:56No, darling. I'd say no.
0:22:56 > 0:23:01- I don't know why you don't... - I'd rather you ditched that one.- OK.
0:23:01 > 0:23:07And I'll go back to my up-the-servants' staircase with a 60-watt bulb.
0:23:07 > 0:23:12Any more of those letters and I shall go out the fire escape.
0:23:17 > 0:23:21This year, he's done a tour of Charlie's Aunt
0:23:21 > 0:23:25and went straight into rehearsals for Caught In The Act.
0:23:25 > 0:23:28He can't stop working.
0:23:28 > 0:23:33The whole of the summer, he was doing The Others with Nicole Kidman.
0:23:35 > 0:23:41Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise had gone to see Eric twice in the West End
0:23:41 > 0:23:45when he was doing Moliere, School For Wives,
0:23:45 > 0:23:48and also when he did Kafka's Dick.
0:23:48 > 0:23:53And whether it came from there, I do not know. It could. Eric's not sure.
0:23:53 > 0:23:56They just liked his performance.
0:23:57 > 0:24:03- This is Grace's point of view?- Yeah. - So you don't need to look there?- No.
0:24:05 > 0:24:08And action, Eric!
0:24:16 > 0:24:23And then there was a phone call out of the blue, wondering if he'd like to take part in it.
0:24:23 > 0:24:27At the time, we were going into Charlie's Aunt.
0:24:27 > 0:24:33Bill Kenwright was marvellous. He said, "No. Let him go. That's premier division stuff."
0:24:33 > 0:24:36He played the part of the gardener.
0:24:36 > 0:24:38You will be here.
0:24:38 > 0:24:41Eric, you should be this side.
0:24:41 > 0:24:44Fiona in the middle.
0:24:47 > 0:24:52The lovely director, Alejandro Amenabar, now, what a lovely man.
0:24:52 > 0:24:56And I think he was 26 when he started this venture.
0:24:56 > 0:25:01He wrote the screenplay, directed it AND wrote the music.
0:25:01 > 0:25:03Well done, Alex.
0:25:09 > 0:25:13I'm just waiting for a picture of Nicole Kidman.
0:25:13 > 0:25:17I really do think she is the best actress,
0:25:17 > 0:25:22the best lady... Well, she's on a par with Hattie Jacques for me.
0:25:22 > 0:25:29I'd give her all the Oscars in the world for her performance in The Others and Moulin Rouge.
0:25:29 > 0:25:33I'd not only give her all the Oscars,
0:25:33 > 0:25:37if there's a Nobel Peace Prize, I'd give her that and a baronetcy.
0:25:37 > 0:25:44As you can see, the housework has been rather neglected since the servants disappeared a week ago.
0:25:44 > 0:25:48- They just vanished? - Into thin air.
0:25:48 > 0:25:52OLD LADY: 'Sometimes the world of the dead
0:25:52 > 0:25:56'gets mixed up with the world of the living.'
0:26:02 > 0:26:04It's very strange,
0:26:04 > 0:26:10but when I came down to London after the war, I thought London was ready for me, but I was wrong.
0:26:10 > 0:26:14It was the worst winter we'd had for a long time.
0:26:14 > 0:26:19And I was walking along the Embankment, Friday night, with a penny in my pocket,
0:26:19 > 0:26:25and on Saturday morning, I had to pay for the week's lodgings. I was walking through thick fog.
0:26:25 > 0:26:31I saw silent shapes pass, and then I heard, "Eric!" out of the fog.
0:26:31 > 0:26:35It was Bill Fraser in a thick-pea souper!
0:26:36 > 0:26:44I'll tell you how I know Bill Fraser. When the war was over, we all moved up to Schleswig-Holstein.
0:26:44 > 0:26:49There was a notice - "All those with theatrical experience put your name down."
0:26:49 > 0:26:55I'd had no theatrical experience, but it was better than the cookhouse.
0:26:55 > 0:27:01Remember what it said, Eric? "It is proposed to put on a concert for Christmas.
0:27:01 > 0:27:06"Those wishing to take part, report to the skittle alley, Eindhoven."
0:27:06 > 0:27:11And the auditioning officer was Bill Fraser.
0:27:11 > 0:27:15We were in this rather cold, dirty skittle alley,
0:27:15 > 0:27:19and there was a hunched-up little airman sitting in the corner.
0:27:19 > 0:27:24I said to him, "What do you do?" He said, "I do drunks,"
0:27:24 > 0:27:30and fell about all down the skittle alley. And that's how he started.
0:27:30 > 0:27:33So I knew him from then.
0:27:33 > 0:27:35Then to meet him -
0:27:35 > 0:27:38that was the first miracle.
0:27:38 > 0:27:41A miracle! Not just a coincidence.
0:27:41 > 0:27:46He was starring in a play called Between Ourselves at the Playhouse.
0:27:46 > 0:27:52He kept me for three weeks. "Would you write for me?" I'd never written for anybody.
0:27:52 > 0:28:00And I said, "Certainly." He was just paying me every week because he could see I was on my last legs.
0:28:04 > 0:28:08So I went back home. But that was my first miracle.
0:28:08 > 0:28:12And all those years that I'd been there,
0:28:12 > 0:28:15my mother's still been looking out for me.
0:28:15 > 0:28:18And I hadn't realised it.
0:28:18 > 0:28:24I think that's another example... of my mother...
0:28:24 > 0:28:28As I say, we never met.
0:28:28 > 0:28:36But she's been looking after me all my life. There's been too many of these things to be coincidence.
0:28:36 > 0:28:39All this body, this cadaver of mine,
0:28:39 > 0:28:43is just a carrier of the gift that belongs to us both.
0:28:43 > 0:28:47And she sees that I carry it out.
0:28:47 > 0:28:52When my time's up, she'll say, "Come on, then."
0:28:52 > 0:28:54And I shall be very happy.
0:29:12 > 0:29:15# You'll be a little lovelier... #
0:29:15 > 0:29:18LAUGHTER
0:29:24 > 0:29:28Poor old Pluto. Look at that face.
0:29:28 > 0:29:32Looks horrible. It's like Jekyll and Hyde.
0:29:32 > 0:29:39- What's the matter now, Eric? - Have you been using my Pluto soap? - No. You left it in the water.
0:29:39 > 0:29:41Oh, no, this has been used.
0:29:41 > 0:29:45If I'd left it in the water, it'd be shapeless all over.
0:29:45 > 0:29:48It's only his face that's gone.
0:29:50 > 0:29:56When I came here in 1966, this was the most extraordinary building,
0:29:56 > 0:29:59filled with writers and artists.
0:29:59 > 0:30:01They all had their own rooms.
0:30:01 > 0:30:06Room 6 was always Spike's room. He never changed rooms.
0:30:06 > 0:30:08Others changed, he never did.
0:30:08 > 0:30:14- What was he doing at the time?- He was starting to do the Q6 series.
0:30:14 > 0:30:19And he'd also started opening files - Spike's a great file man -
0:30:19 > 0:30:24for his book Adolf Hitler - My Part In His Downfall.
0:30:24 > 0:30:28And getting together on the Q series. But he never came out.
0:30:28 > 0:30:31The original loner.
0:30:31 > 0:30:37- What happened if anyone disturbed him?- I put a note on the door. I won't tell you what it said.
0:30:37 > 0:30:43SPIKE MILLIGAN: 'Oh, what a terrible tragedy it all was.
0:30:43 > 0:30:46'I love the early morning in the park, don't you?
0:30:46 > 0:30:52'What's this? A human leg...followed by a body that hasn't been lived in for a long time.
0:30:52 > 0:30:54'It's me. Oh-ho.
0:30:54 > 0:31:01'Anyway, I was heading north for the great outdoor parlours - the shaving parlours of Harry Secombe.'
0:31:02 > 0:31:05I wrote with Spike.
0:31:05 > 0:31:09Some mornings, we'd spend the whole time laughing.
0:31:09 > 0:31:13And then we argued one day.
0:31:13 > 0:31:18"It should be one word in." I said, "It doesn't need it."
0:31:18 > 0:31:21He said it did, so we argued.
0:31:21 > 0:31:28He picked up a paperweight and threw it at me. It went through the window and fell five floors.
0:31:28 > 0:31:31And I was shocked.
0:31:31 > 0:31:35And I went out and it was broken.
0:31:35 > 0:31:38And I, stupidly, "Remember what day this was."
0:31:38 > 0:31:45And I said, "From now on, YOU write one week and I'll write the other." So we wrote alternate weeks.
0:31:45 > 0:31:48We were still great mates.
0:31:48 > 0:31:53But he used to get this terrible depression sometimes.
0:31:53 > 0:31:59- HATTIE: 'What is it now?! - Can you get Mr Brown?
0:31:59 > 0:32:03'Oh, not again!'
0:32:03 > 0:32:07Room 5. This is where Ray and Alan used to be - Galton and Simpson.
0:32:07 > 0:32:14And I can't remember what they were writing, but it was '66, so they would be doing Steptoe And Son.
0:32:14 > 0:32:21Mind you, they had just finished working with Tony...Hancock.
0:32:21 > 0:32:26I think he had room 4 when I first came here.
0:32:26 > 0:32:28Room 4 downstairs.
0:32:28 > 0:32:32So there was Spike there and Ray and Alan here.
0:32:32 > 0:32:35Then we went up where Eric was.
0:32:35 > 0:32:40' "U, V, W, X, Y, Z." And I said...'
0:32:40 > 0:32:44"You're going back in the box!" "I'm not going back in the box...!"
0:32:44 > 0:32:47I must stop smoking.
0:32:47 > 0:32:49Is that loose...
0:32:50 > 0:32:53..or is it my fingers going in and out?
0:33:02 > 0:33:05This is where Eric used to be.
0:33:05 > 0:33:11As I said, people changed around a bit, but Eric used to be here.
0:33:11 > 0:33:18' - What the Dickens is going on? - Mr Brown, it's Eric. - What's the matter with him? '
0:33:18 > 0:33:22His toe... LAUGHTER
0:33:22 > 0:33:25It's not stuck in the tap again?!
0:33:25 > 0:33:30It's only a little bit stuck. It took two hours to get it out!
0:33:30 > 0:33:35It won't take you a minute, now you've got the hang of it.
0:33:35 > 0:33:39I don't put a pen to paper until I have it all here.
0:33:39 > 0:33:46FRANKIE HOWERD: The boss said to me, "I want you to collect some goods from the depot to deliver to Crewe."
0:33:46 > 0:33:51I thought, "Oh, good! Crewe!" Cos I've always wanted to go abroad.
0:33:51 > 0:33:53LAUGHTER
0:33:53 > 0:33:56I was in repertory in Warminster.
0:33:56 > 0:34:04This was in 1947, and I never actually met Frank. One of the lads who was with us phoned me up one day
0:34:04 > 0:34:09and said that Frankie Howerd had been trying to get in touch with me.
0:34:09 > 0:34:13"Frankie Howerd?" That was like a call from Buckingham Palace.
0:34:13 > 0:34:18He said, "Do you think you could write for me?"
0:34:18 > 0:34:22He was a messenger boy and he had to take two elephants to Crewe.
0:34:22 > 0:34:25'But the way people stared!
0:34:25 > 0:34:30'You'd think they'd never seen two elephants go down the underground!
0:34:30 > 0:34:33'Here, listen!
0:34:33 > 0:34:36'Titter, ye may!'
0:34:38 > 0:34:42'Why does he want to put his toe there in the first place?
0:34:42 > 0:34:46'He doesn't get much fun out of life.'
0:34:49 > 0:34:54It was like a co-operative - the writers writing for the artists.
0:34:54 > 0:35:01And they all put in 10%, so if a writer or artist wasn't working, they had something to draw on.
0:35:01 > 0:35:04At least they could pay their rent.
0:35:04 > 0:35:08Room 8, there were quite a lot of writers in this room -
0:35:08 > 0:35:10not all comedy writers.
0:35:10 > 0:35:13DR WHO THEME
0:35:19 > 0:35:25Terry Nation was one of the writers here.
0:35:25 > 0:35:27And he wrote the Daleks.
0:35:29 > 0:35:34I'd forgotten how much children's stuff has come from this building.
0:35:34 > 0:35:37You tend to think it's just comedy.
0:35:37 > 0:35:43Of course, Spike did BadJelly The Witch and Eric did the voice-over for the Teletubbies.
0:35:43 > 0:35:48- One...- One...!- ..two...- ..two..!
0:35:48 > 0:35:51- ..three...- ..three..!
0:35:52 > 0:35:55- ..four!- ..four!
0:35:55 > 0:35:57Teletubbies!
0:36:04 > 0:36:07Back in a couple of hours.
0:36:07 > 0:36:09- OK.- I'm late now!
0:36:16 > 0:36:19Who was that?
0:36:19 > 0:36:21Janet! Was that Eric?
0:36:21 > 0:36:24- Yeah.- He's gone without me!
0:36:24 > 0:36:27Honestly! He really is the end!
0:36:35 > 0:36:39Right, let's go. John Ballantyne will be there, won't he?
0:36:59 > 0:37:03I first met him in 1962, maybe 1963.
0:37:03 > 0:37:09At that time, he was doing his show regularly at Television Centre.
0:37:09 > 0:37:13I used to go to the Centre three or four times a week,
0:37:13 > 0:37:19just to mop out the ear and make it suitable for him to put the hearing aid in.
0:37:28 > 0:37:31# Rolling down to Rio!
0:37:31 > 0:37:33- # With a.. # - QUACK!
0:37:33 > 0:37:35# With a bounce! #
0:37:35 > 0:37:38Thank you.
0:37:38 > 0:37:40Woo-woo!
0:37:47 > 0:37:53He'd already had major surgery on his right ear. But when the trouble flared up in his left ear,
0:37:53 > 0:37:57there was a complication of this very long-standing
0:37:57 > 0:38:03chronic middle-ear disease, dating back to his early childhood.
0:38:03 > 0:38:08And it's known as the silent disease because it produces so few symptoms.
0:38:08 > 0:38:13It's like a volcano which can sometimes erupt.
0:38:13 > 0:38:15And it erupted in a big way.
0:38:15 > 0:38:20And it's erupted because the disease started to penetrate the middle ear,
0:38:20 > 0:38:25which is the basic source of the trouble, into the inner ear,
0:38:25 > 0:38:29which is the basic organ of hearing and balance.
0:38:29 > 0:38:34And this necessitated urgent surgery.
0:38:34 > 0:38:40It was a life-saving operation that had to be done to prevent further complications
0:38:40 > 0:38:43such as meningitis, brain abscess,
0:38:43 > 0:38:45even death.
0:38:55 > 0:38:58I wouldn't say I was religious,
0:38:58 > 0:39:00but I did pray once.
0:39:00 > 0:39:05In 1960, I went into the hospital for an operation.
0:39:06 > 0:39:13And I came out of the anaesthetic and I was stone deaf.
0:39:13 > 0:39:18And I prayed, not that I thought it was going to be cured,
0:39:18 > 0:39:22I thought I'd never hear the birds singing or my children's voices.
0:39:22 > 0:39:26I just prayed for the strength to live with it.
0:39:26 > 0:39:31And I woke up in the morning, and the nurse asked, "How are you?"
0:39:31 > 0:39:35I said, "I'm very well." She said, "You could hear me!"
0:39:43 > 0:39:45He managed to get over it
0:39:45 > 0:39:48with the help of the hearing aid.
0:39:48 > 0:39:52And in the end, many years later,
0:39:52 > 0:39:57he finished up with the bone-conducted spectacle hearing aid,
0:39:57 > 0:40:04which he now wears, though it has no lens and he has no vision, virtually, to see through.
0:40:07 > 0:40:12I brought you the Radio Times covers that I promised to look out for you.
0:40:12 > 0:40:14Lovely.
0:40:14 > 0:40:16This is my favourite.
0:40:16 > 0:40:23- I was just saying to Eric the other day, didn't Hattie have the most wonderful smile?- Lovely.
0:40:23 > 0:40:29She not only lit up the screen, she lit my life up.
0:40:29 > 0:40:32When you think that was almost a third of my life.
0:40:32 > 0:40:35- Chin-chin.- Chin-chin.- Chin-chin!
0:40:35 > 0:40:38To the next show, whenever that is.
0:40:38 > 0:40:40Hopefully. Cheers!
0:40:40 > 0:40:45I saw Hattie very frequently and got to know her quite well.
0:40:45 > 0:40:49And she was always great company. She was a great actress.
0:40:52 > 0:40:58Johnny Speight, he wrote this thing for Hat and me, this comedy we were doing.
0:40:58 > 0:41:01And we were husband and wife.
0:41:01 > 0:41:04I said, "I've only one stipulation, John,
0:41:04 > 0:41:07"we're not husband and wife.
0:41:07 > 0:41:10"We are brother and sister.
0:41:10 > 0:41:14"On top of which, we are twins.
0:41:14 > 0:41:20"We're not only twins, we're identical twins."
0:41:24 > 0:41:27Good afternoon, everybody.
0:41:27 > 0:41:34On behalf of Driver Sykes and his crew, we welcome you aboard Route Master 136.
0:41:34 > 0:41:38There will be no smoking on the lower decks.
0:41:38 > 0:41:41We will be travelling at about 9mph.
0:41:41 > 0:41:45Our ETA is ten past eleven, our time.
0:41:45 > 0:41:48We trust you will all have a pleasant journey.
0:41:48 > 0:41:51The weather in Copshill is fine.
0:41:51 > 0:41:55Bonjour, mesdames et messieurs.
0:41:55 > 0:41:58Bienvenue, maitre...
0:41:59 > 0:42:03TING! TING! Give me a chance to say it!
0:42:04 > 0:42:08I didn't refer to her size because she was built beautifully.
0:42:08 > 0:42:11To me, she wasn't fat, she was big.
0:42:11 > 0:42:14And what she did, she moved so gracefully.
0:42:14 > 0:42:20And to get cheap jokes out of something like that
0:42:20 > 0:42:24is not my system. I think Hat appreciated that.
0:42:24 > 0:42:28And now, ladies and gentlemen, it's record time!
0:42:28 > 0:42:32Our first record this evening has been requested by Mr Taylor,
0:42:32 > 0:42:37who I believe is making his first trip with us this evening.
0:42:37 > 0:42:44- Your first journey from Woodlane to Copshill?- Yes. I've been spending an evening with friends.- Jolly good!
0:42:52 > 0:42:55Coffee, anyone?
0:42:55 > 0:43:01Simpson and Galton used to say, "All your stuff is candy floss.
0:43:01 > 0:43:04"It has no bite."
0:43:04 > 0:43:07- Did that annoy you?- No!
0:43:07 > 0:43:12I said, "What you fail to recognise
0:43:12 > 0:43:17"is that the stuff you do has a social point, a message.
0:43:17 > 0:43:22"There's enough messages coming out of TV without you adding to them."
0:43:23 > 0:43:30- Six o'clock in the morning, we leave the terminus. It's three o'clock now.- But we haven't got a bus!
0:43:30 > 0:43:35Not now, we haven't, but in a week's time, he'll be begging us!
0:43:35 > 0:43:38Right, stand there. I don't care.
0:43:38 > 0:43:40TING! TING!
0:43:40 > 0:43:45The bottom line is are they laughing, are they enjoying it?
0:43:45 > 0:43:48If they're not, go back to the cotton mill.
0:44:03 > 0:44:06Good morning. Good morning.
0:44:06 > 0:44:09Hello! Good morning!
0:44:09 > 0:44:11Hello, dear.
0:44:11 > 0:44:14I'm so sorry.
0:44:14 > 0:44:21I have my own personal views on this and I think everything was secure. Everything was nice.
0:44:21 > 0:44:25Eric likes everything secure in his life.
0:44:25 > 0:44:28It manifests itself in the writing.
0:44:28 > 0:44:33Hence that secure feeling that you have when you see Eric and Hattie.
0:44:33 > 0:44:37Oh, I'm so sorry. We're full up.
0:44:37 > 0:44:40So sorry. We'll be back in three hours.
0:44:53 > 0:44:58That series is like my philosophy - in every dustbin there's a daffodil.
0:44:58 > 0:45:02And this was the daffodil in this dustbin
0:45:02 > 0:45:04where we lived.
0:45:04 > 0:45:07And life is what you make it.
0:45:09 > 0:45:12I just had a happy world.
0:45:12 > 0:45:15She radiated happiness, I'd say.
0:45:15 > 0:45:20The company was... As soon as she came in, you smiled.
0:45:20 > 0:45:24I don't know why and I can never explain,
0:45:24 > 0:45:28but when we come here, we always walk through the park.
0:45:28 > 0:45:33When we're going back, we always walk along the Bayswater Road.
0:45:59 > 0:46:03Spike Milligan and Eric Sykes' office. Good afternoon.
0:46:03 > 0:46:10This is her office. Norma Farnes manages both of them.
0:46:14 > 0:46:22I'm sorry. People say it only takes 20 minutes, but I've got 40 people saying that. It's just not possible.
0:46:27 > 0:46:32Now, then, if I don't reply to these, they'll think I'm dead.
0:46:44 > 0:46:47I'm sorry...
0:46:47 > 0:46:54it...took...me...some weeks... to reply.
0:46:57 > 0:47:04Eric's my best pal. No matter where I am, there's hardly a week goes by
0:47:04 > 0:47:06when I don't phone him.
0:47:06 > 0:47:12He's got a lovely way of writing. You open the letter and it's funny.
0:47:12 > 0:47:17Where the address would be - same address but the roof leaks.
0:47:17 > 0:47:19And I hope...
0:47:19 > 0:47:22this letter...
0:47:22 > 0:47:24will make up...
0:47:28 > 0:47:30..for it.
0:47:32 > 0:47:37The letter...I have in mind...
0:47:37 > 0:47:40is...
0:47:40 > 0:47:43H.
0:47:45 > 0:47:49The Goons learned from Eric, truly.
0:47:49 > 0:47:54It doesn't seem possible cos it's all down to Spike and Michael.
0:47:54 > 0:47:57But they learned from Eric.
0:47:58 > 0:48:01It was such unusual stuff.
0:48:01 > 0:48:07He was trying to take an elephant on the tube.
0:48:07 > 0:48:10He got so much out of it.
0:48:10 > 0:48:16We had the Olympic Games and he did this thing with the pole vault.
0:48:16 > 0:48:21And he wanted to get on the bus with his pole. It was screamingly funny.
0:48:21 > 0:48:23Very good.
0:48:23 > 0:48:29And original thinking. He was doing stuff no-one had thought of before.
0:48:29 > 0:48:32He still does it now!
0:48:32 > 0:48:35Have you ever seen his guitar act?
0:48:35 > 0:48:39# Without a golden wand
0:48:40 > 0:48:44# Or mystic charms... #
0:48:44 > 0:48:49I met Eric after the war, when he was writing for Frankie Howerd.
0:48:49 > 0:48:54I said to Frank, "Any chance of your writer writing for me?"
0:48:59 > 0:49:02There were terrible setbacks.
0:49:02 > 0:49:05He was stone deaf.
0:49:05 > 0:49:09# ..It's magic... # One.
0:49:09 > 0:49:13LAUGHTER
0:49:13 > 0:49:17And in that time, he brought up a family of five -
0:49:17 > 0:49:20his wife and four kids.
0:49:20 > 0:49:24# ..Why do I tell myself...? #
0:49:24 > 0:49:32We've lived side by side, and I don't know if you remember the thing they used to do in the Readers' Digest,
0:49:32 > 0:49:37they asked about your most unforgettable character.
0:49:37 > 0:49:39Mine has got to be Eric.
0:49:39 > 0:49:42# ..The magic is my love
0:49:42 > 0:49:51# For yo-o-u. #
0:49:53 > 0:49:56I'm proud of my OBE.
0:49:56 > 0:50:01I'm proud of my honorary fellowship of Lancashire University.
0:50:01 > 0:50:05I'm proud of being a member of the Royal and Ancient.
0:50:05 > 0:50:08I'm proud of a lot of things.
0:50:08 > 0:50:11I'm most proud of my family -
0:50:11 > 0:50:16my wife, my four children. I live through them. They're wonderful.
0:50:16 > 0:50:21Well, I can show you on my magic machine.
0:50:25 > 0:50:29I've got a lovely picture of my family
0:50:29 > 0:50:33when two of them were young children.
0:50:38 > 0:50:41I don't know who that is.
0:50:42 > 0:50:44Oh, yeah, that's my wife!
0:50:44 > 0:50:48By jingo, isn't she attractive?
0:50:48 > 0:50:52And that's me. I had a child on my back. That's Susan.
0:50:52 > 0:50:55She's nearly 50 now.
0:50:55 > 0:50:58And Cathy there, who's nearly 50.
0:50:58 > 0:51:01How did you meet your wife?
0:51:01 > 0:51:05Well, I was in hospital and she was one of the nurses.
0:51:05 > 0:51:10And she would do things like post a letter and things like that.
0:51:10 > 0:51:16When I got out, I asked her out for a drink.
0:51:16 > 0:51:19And she's from Canada, you see.
0:51:23 > 0:51:25They all realised, which is lovely,
0:51:25 > 0:51:32that to write comedy, to perform comedy, for stage, screen and television,
0:51:32 > 0:51:34there are no hours to that job.
0:51:34 > 0:51:36It goes on and on.
0:51:36 > 0:51:43Maybe I've spent more time on that than helping to bring up the children.
0:51:47 > 0:51:51My wife...she brought them up well.
0:51:54 > 0:52:00I really just stood back and enjoyed watching them grow.
0:52:00 > 0:52:02The absentee landlord.
0:52:05 > 0:52:08Cos I was away working all the time,
0:52:08 > 0:52:14the children used to think I was something in the City...for years.
0:52:31 > 0:52:36When people say, "I made up my mind to be a comic when I was 12,"
0:52:36 > 0:52:38I think, "No, no, no."
0:52:38 > 0:52:43The AUDIENCE makes you a comic, not YOU.
0:52:43 > 0:52:47There's people with the funniest material in the world,
0:52:47 > 0:52:54but they aren't households names because the audience haven't quite taken to them.
0:52:54 > 0:52:58And so it's the audience who make you a comic, not you.
0:53:03 > 0:53:07# ..Beautiful dreamer
0:53:07 > 0:53:16# Awake unto me-e. #
0:53:16 > 0:53:21I've never known a comic yet who thought he was funny.
0:53:21 > 0:53:26One thing they have in common is they never wanted to be comedians.
0:53:26 > 0:53:29They wanted to do something else.
0:53:29 > 0:53:33Frankie Howerd wanted to be a straight actor.
0:53:33 > 0:53:38And he went for an audition at RADA, and "to be or not to be" -
0:53:38 > 0:53:43HOWERD VOICE: "No, no, listen..." They laughed and he didn't get it.
0:53:43 > 0:53:46'Jimmy Edwards wanted to be an MP.'
0:53:46 > 0:53:49There's a traffic jam there as well.
0:53:49 > 0:53:54'Tommy Cooper wanted to be the best illusionist in the world.
0:53:54 > 0:53:57'So he didn't want to be a comedian.
0:53:57 > 0:54:04'The money he spent on suits - he was always immaculate.
0:54:04 > 0:54:10'But he would walk into the room and do his, "Arr-hrr," and they started to laugh.
0:54:10 > 0:54:16'And at first it used to upset him because he thought he was walking in like OO7.
0:54:16 > 0:54:21'He only became a comedian when they started to laugh at him.'
0:54:21 > 0:54:23Oi, oi!
0:54:26 > 0:54:31TOMMY COOPER: Yeah, it's all right. Come on.
0:55:00 > 0:55:05Janet! Can you bring me some water, please?
0:55:25 > 0:55:28I have to be careful writing to old friends.
0:55:28 > 0:55:33Because... in case they died last week.
0:56:22 > 0:56:29When you and I made films together - Those Magnificent Men In Their Flying Machines, Monte Carlo Or Bust,
0:56:29 > 0:56:36you always played the part of the jolly chap, the cuddly person,
0:56:36 > 0:56:43and I always played the dirty rotten bu...dirty rotten chap, cad, I should say.
0:56:43 > 0:56:49Whereas in real life, this isn't so, this isn't true, it's quite the reverse.
0:56:51 > 0:56:54BELL TOLLS
0:57:01 > 0:57:04- Here's your water, Eric.- Thank you.
0:57:06 > 0:57:13You've also got the Standard here. There's a lovely advert for the show in the middle.
0:57:13 > 0:57:16I thought you might like to see it.
0:57:16 > 0:57:19What do you think of that?
0:57:19 > 0:57:22- Oh, that's marvellous! - Lovely, isn't it?
0:57:22 > 0:57:25I'll read that later, thank you.
0:57:57 > 0:58:01LAUGHTER
0:58:01 > 0:58:04Eric, what do you do for relaxation?
0:58:06 > 0:58:08I play golf.
0:58:10 > 0:58:16I know what you're going to say - "How can you play golf if you can't see the ball?"
0:58:16 > 0:58:22My daughter, Julie, caddies for me, and SHE keeps her eye on the ball.
0:58:29 > 0:58:33# That night I heard the wild goose cry
0:58:33 > 0:58:36# He'd got mixed up with the riders in the sky
0:58:36 > 0:58:40# Tried to sleep, but it was in vain
0:58:40 > 0:58:44# Have you ever tried sleeping on a mule train...? #
0:59:14 > 0:59:16CANNED LAUGHTER
0:59:20 > 0:59:23I thought I'd hit further than that.
0:59:23 > 0:59:25Give me the six-iron.
0:59:51 > 0:59:55- How were that?- You're in the bunker.
0:59:55 > 0:59:58There aren't any bunkers on this hole!
0:59:58 > 1:00:02You're not in this hole. You're in that one.
1:00:14 > 1:00:17You know the most amazing thing?
1:00:17 > 1:00:21I forget - he's so good at it -
1:00:21 > 1:00:26I actually forget that he can't see and can't hear.
1:00:26 > 1:00:34Whereas quite a lot of people know that, a lot of people don't know that he had a quadruple bypass
1:00:34 > 1:00:37about four or five years ago.
1:00:37 > 1:00:39So he's just an amazing man.
1:00:39 > 1:00:44Spike said it and he's absolutely right, he has the courage of a lion.
1:00:44 > 1:00:49He can't see, can't hear, and he's in the West End now.
1:00:49 > 1:00:52It's amazing.
1:00:52 > 1:00:58All of these things, I have a feeling... They're hiccups,
1:00:58 > 1:01:00no more than hiccups.
1:01:00 > 1:01:04Because, again my philosophy, you have two choices -
1:01:04 > 1:01:08either walk with your head up or your head down.
1:01:08 > 1:01:12If there's a light to go towards, then you go towards it.
1:01:20 > 1:01:26My idea of our theatre, stage, screen,
1:01:26 > 1:01:33is like going into a wonderful palace where all the people go in. It's lit with chandeliers
1:01:33 > 1:01:37and they all stand on the first landing and go, "Hello! Hello!"
1:01:37 > 1:01:42And then they go up the second flight, not too many people now,
1:01:42 > 1:01:47and then eventually they go upstairs to the ballroom.
1:01:47 > 1:01:51Well, in my career, I've gone up through the servants' staircase
1:01:51 > 1:01:55under a 40-watt bulb.
1:01:55 > 1:01:57Now I'm nearly at the top landing.
1:01:57 > 1:02:02I can see a bright light underneath the door of the top landing.
1:02:02 > 1:02:04That's the ballroom.
1:02:04 > 1:02:10But now that I've enjoyed my walk up the staircase, I'm not sure if I want to dance.
1:02:42 > 1:02:46What?! That's the middle of the night!
1:02:54 > 1:02:58Well...another day, another dollar.
1:02:58 > 1:03:01"Just like that!"
1:03:28 > 1:03:32Look at all these cigars. I gave up smoking three years ago.
1:03:32 > 1:03:34Look at all those boxes.
1:03:34 > 1:03:39I can't bear to throw them away. There's not a cigar in them.
1:03:39 > 1:03:42I'll tell you what IS in them.
1:03:51 > 1:03:54Well, that's my fix for today.
1:03:54 > 1:03:57Arrivederci.
1:04:20 > 1:04:28'It's a long road from Eindhoven to Drury Lane, but, my God, you deserve it and good luck!'
1:04:34 > 1:04:39'A rare treat. A giant from any age of comedy you wish to talk about.
1:04:39 > 1:04:45'He's a prophet, a sage, an angel of the age - Mr Eric Sykes!'
1:04:45 > 1:04:50'He's a master of comedy. The king of the visual gag - Eric Sykes!'
1:04:50 > 1:04:53'Ladies and gentlemen,
1:04:53 > 1:04:56'we gotta get him up here - Eric Sykes!'
1:04:57 > 1:05:04'Eric Sykes is one of the funniest men I've ever been in a room with or played golf with.'
1:05:04 > 1:05:11'He made his name as a scriptwriter and went on to become one of Britain's best-loved comedians,
1:05:11 > 1:05:17'described as having the desperate charm of a con man on the run - Eric Sykes!'
1:05:21 > 1:05:25Pet horse initially throwing master.
1:05:25 > 1:05:29Seven letters and the third letter is M.
1:05:29 > 1:05:32- Third letter is M?- Yes.
1:05:32 > 1:05:36- Pet horse...- Initially...
1:05:36 > 1:05:39Well, horse, initially - H.
1:05:39 > 1:05:43Third letter's M, so it's H blank M.
1:05:43 > 1:05:46Pet as in hamster.
1:05:48 > 1:05:51Master - an anagram of master.
1:05:51 > 1:05:54- OK. And H for horse.- H for horse.
1:05:54 > 1:05:58Can't be doing with all this intellect down here.
1:05:58 > 1:06:04Norma's going to be going, "Wait a minute! Don't rush away!"
1:06:30 > 1:06:32'Mr Sykes, your call to the stage.'
1:06:32 > 1:06:36VOICES ECHO FROM STAGE
1:06:48 > 1:06:52BELL RINGS I'll open the door. It's safer.
1:06:54 > 1:06:56LAUGHTER
1:06:56 > 1:07:00APPLAUSE
1:07:28 > 1:07:34Subtitles by Graeme Dibble BBC Scotland - 2001
1:07:34 > 1:07:38E-mail us at subtitling@bbc.co.uk