0:00:02 > 0:00:07This programme contains strong language and some scenes which some viewers may find upsetting
0:00:07 > 0:00:11It's January 22nd, 2012.
0:00:11 > 0:00:15At the Theatre Royal, Haymarket, something quite unique is taking place.
0:00:15 > 0:00:20Unique not only for British theatre, but for world theatre.
0:00:20 > 0:00:23It's the first night, and indeed the last night,
0:00:23 > 0:00:25of a very unusual one-off play,
0:00:25 > 0:00:29called The Two Worlds of Charlie F,
0:00:29 > 0:00:33to be performed to a gala audience, speckled with showbiz glitterati,
0:00:33 > 0:00:36who know only that they've come to witness a courageous,
0:00:36 > 0:00:39but highly risky theatrical experiment,
0:00:39 > 0:00:42unlike anything ever attempted before.
0:00:43 > 0:00:45Nice to see you. Are you well?
0:00:45 > 0:00:47I'm well. Anxious about this.
0:00:47 > 0:00:49I've got no idea what to expect.
0:00:49 > 0:00:53I can't wait. But I'm more nervous now than I've ever been in me life.
0:00:53 > 0:00:58I hear it's very emotional, so I've brought lots of tissues.
0:00:58 > 0:01:02The Theatre Royal is London's oldest theatre,
0:01:02 > 0:01:08but it won't have seen anything like this in its 300-year history.
0:01:08 > 0:01:12You see, the actors are not actors, but professional soldiers,
0:01:12 > 0:01:15now facing a new and daunting challenge -
0:01:15 > 0:01:19to perform in a play based on their own experiences of war.
0:01:19 > 0:01:24All of them have been badly injured, mostly in Afghanistan.
0:01:24 > 0:01:27Many are still recovering and in pain.
0:01:27 > 0:01:29Good evening, Bravo 22 Company,
0:01:29 > 0:01:32this is your five-minute call, you have five minutes.
0:01:32 > 0:01:34None of them have ever acted before.
0:01:34 > 0:01:38Not even in a village hall, let alone a West End stage.
0:01:38 > 0:01:41Only Royal Marine Cassidy Little from Canada
0:01:41 > 0:01:43has any showbiz experience.
0:01:43 > 0:01:47A failed stand-up comedian turned Commando,
0:01:47 > 0:01:51he's the victim of a Taliban mine that cost him his right leg
0:01:51 > 0:01:54and two of his closest comrades.
0:01:54 > 0:01:56Quiet on stage, please, lights going out.
0:01:56 > 0:01:58Stand by please, one and two.
0:01:58 > 0:02:00This is not to be a fiction,
0:02:00 > 0:02:03but a very public reliving of recent past experiences
0:02:03 > 0:02:06in a distant theatre of war,
0:02:06 > 0:02:09that civilians cannot begin to imagine.
0:02:10 > 0:02:15The new company, Bravo 22 as it's called, has lived their war -
0:02:15 > 0:02:19now they're going to perform it to a packed house.
0:02:19 > 0:02:22But can they pull it off?
0:02:22 > 0:02:26Sound cue one, LX803.
0:02:26 > 0:02:27Go.
0:02:41 > 0:02:43HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING
0:03:29 > 0:03:33This is, this is... It's beautiful.
0:03:33 > 0:03:37- Nice and cool, isn't it? - Look at that. This is unbelievable.
0:03:37 > 0:03:42So you've got Owen over there on the chairs and Stephen Rayne as well.
0:03:42 > 0:03:43Rocking.
0:03:43 > 0:03:45It's October 4th, 2011,
0:03:45 > 0:03:49and Cassidy walks into the Theatre Royal for the first time
0:03:49 > 0:03:54to meet the director and writer of the play he's volunteered to be in.
0:03:54 > 0:03:57But not one word of which is yet written.
0:03:57 > 0:04:03To start something from scratch with amateurs,
0:04:03 > 0:04:08with amateurs who are undergoing recovery,
0:04:08 > 0:04:10recuperation, from... some of them very serious injuries,
0:04:10 > 0:04:13is a really big challenge,
0:04:13 > 0:04:17and it's completely against the normal process that we would go through,
0:04:17 > 0:04:20you know, in terms of... Owen would have an idea for a story
0:04:20 > 0:04:23- and he'd go away and start writing it.- Yeah.
0:04:23 > 0:04:27I would be given a play that I would want to do for whatever reason
0:04:27 > 0:04:29- and then you would start planning it. - Yeah.
0:04:29 > 0:04:32This way you have to say, well, no, we haven't got the play yet,
0:04:32 > 0:04:34we haven't got the story yet.
0:04:34 > 0:04:39What we have got are 20 to 30 people telling us stories of their lives
0:04:39 > 0:04:41and what can we make out of that, you know?
0:04:41 > 0:04:44So it's a very big, scary adventure.
0:04:45 > 0:04:47Only six months ago, Cassidy,
0:04:47 > 0:04:51who actually studied dance before he joined the Marines,
0:04:51 > 0:04:55had his right leg blown off by a Taliban IED,
0:04:55 > 0:05:01an Improvised Explosive Device, the number-one killer in Afghanistan.
0:05:03 > 0:05:06The idea is that a play will emerge organically
0:05:06 > 0:05:09from the recollections of all these soldiers,
0:05:09 > 0:05:10soon to be actors,
0:05:10 > 0:05:14who, like Cassidy, have volunteered to share their stories
0:05:14 > 0:05:19with Stephen the director and, in particular, with Owen, the writer.
0:05:19 > 0:05:22It's a massive mountain to climb.
0:05:22 > 0:05:26We'll set up base camp here and head for the summit in the morning.
0:05:26 > 0:05:30It's my job to, sort of, heighten the elements of their experiences
0:05:30 > 0:05:33and their speech in such a way that it can live in this space
0:05:33 > 0:05:36and that it can speak to an audience sitting here
0:05:36 > 0:05:39who will be coming cold to a subject and to issues that we'll have,
0:05:39 > 0:05:43you know, by then spent almost three months being immersed in.
0:05:43 > 0:05:47Do you remember when you were a kid and you fell off your bike,
0:05:47 > 0:05:52and your hand got rubbed against the grit and your knees got rubbed against the grit
0:05:52 > 0:05:58and your whole body kind of bounced along the pavement and you...
0:05:58 > 0:06:00That initial pain, you don't really feel it,
0:06:00 > 0:06:04but then suddenly you have this pulsing,
0:06:04 > 0:06:10you know, "Ow, ow, ow, ow... What the fuck?"
0:06:10 > 0:06:16Owen, as writer, has to feed off Cassidy's searing experience of frontline warfare.
0:06:16 > 0:06:18EXPLOSIONS
0:06:18 > 0:06:20And those of many others as well.
0:06:23 > 0:06:26Must have blacked out for a split second,
0:06:26 > 0:06:28cos next thing I know I wake up,
0:06:28 > 0:06:33I open my eyes and there's the blue sky, there's no sound and no pain.
0:06:33 > 0:06:36And it just...
0:06:36 > 0:06:38It's like a little Hamlet moment -
0:06:38 > 0:06:40you have two little seconds to yourself, like that.
0:06:40 > 0:06:43Then it all kicks in again.
0:06:43 > 0:06:45The shouting, the screaming.
0:06:45 > 0:06:52GUNFIRE AND SHOUTING
0:06:52 > 0:06:55I tried to sit myself up, couldn't, I couldn't move at all,
0:06:55 > 0:06:58and when they put me on the stretcher,
0:06:58 > 0:07:01that's when I noticed both my legs were gone.
0:07:01 > 0:07:04And then more pain kicked in
0:07:04 > 0:07:07and I pretty much screamed myself unconscious.
0:07:07 > 0:07:09SHOUTING
0:07:09 > 0:07:10GUNFIRE
0:07:10 > 0:07:13I got shrapnel straight through the back of my brain.
0:07:13 > 0:07:17The main impact is the... Is the brain injury
0:07:17 > 0:07:21and the subsequent brain impairments that I've now got
0:07:21 > 0:07:24which are with me for the rest of my life.
0:07:24 > 0:07:31I have a metal plate with some screws holding my left knee together.
0:07:31 > 0:07:34I'm, I'm in absolute agony
0:07:34 > 0:07:38and I take so many pain killers.
0:07:38 > 0:07:42I've tried all of them just to get through, get through the day.
0:07:42 > 0:07:47I was so miserable, so depressed, so down, so not me,
0:07:47 > 0:07:51I had retreated into this black shell that was inside of my head.
0:07:51 > 0:07:53Drinking.
0:07:53 > 0:07:56Depression, drinking, depression and it was overwhelming, actually.
0:07:56 > 0:07:58I lost my job in the Marines,
0:07:58 > 0:08:00lost my wife.
0:08:00 > 0:08:02I lost something within myself as well.
0:08:02 > 0:08:07To me, everything was falling away, sort of thing.
0:08:07 > 0:08:09And because of my behaviour as well...
0:08:09 > 0:08:13The material that we've been gathering in the interviews that we've been doing
0:08:13 > 0:08:15is really quite extraordinary.
0:08:15 > 0:08:18And I think that, you know, after each conversation
0:08:18 > 0:08:21we both have a sense of there's something there that can be used.
0:08:21 > 0:08:26You're off your face on the medications they've given you and...
0:08:26 > 0:08:30Cos you've just woken up, you know, you start seeing things, hallucinations.
0:08:30 > 0:08:32I thought the Taliban had got me.
0:08:32 > 0:08:38I started screaming for help. Like, "Help, help, fuck you, help!"
0:08:38 > 0:08:44Then I went into I'm Henry The VIII, I Am and sang two verses of that.
0:08:44 > 0:08:46Did you know them before?
0:08:46 > 0:08:47No. No, no.
0:08:47 > 0:08:50I think I only knew the first one and then I kind of...
0:08:50 > 0:08:53- I think I might have...- Invented the second one.- Improvised.
0:08:53 > 0:08:56At this stage all we can do is listen.
0:08:56 > 0:08:59All we can do is listen to these guys' stories
0:08:59 > 0:09:02and that, of course, is beginning to give us lots of ideas,
0:09:02 > 0:09:05but until we get those guys in a rehearsal room
0:09:05 > 0:09:09with lots of ideas, we don't know what we're going to come up with.
0:09:09 > 0:09:16So it's a huge exercise and leap of faith in each other and in them,
0:09:16 > 0:09:20and in the belief that by the end of a couple of months
0:09:20 > 0:09:23we will have something worth putting on a stage
0:09:23 > 0:09:26that not only they will enjoy doing, but that people will want to watch.
0:09:29 > 0:09:30Brixton, London.
0:09:30 > 0:09:35And Bravo 22 Company assembles for the first day of rehearsals.
0:09:35 > 0:09:38There are just ten weeks to the performance.
0:09:38 > 0:09:40- Morning.- Hello.
0:09:40 > 0:09:43I thought I'd be a lot more nervous than I am, actually.
0:09:43 > 0:09:45Maybe I'm fooling myself,
0:09:45 > 0:09:49but all of these guys, they're entering a world that they're not used to at all.
0:09:49 > 0:09:53The most important thing is that the people who theoretically do know what they're doing
0:09:53 > 0:09:58are very calm and relaxed and... you know, give them confidence.
0:09:58 > 0:10:02Chris, if you take pictures of me falling out of a minibus,
0:10:02 > 0:10:04I'll be mega pissed off with you.
0:10:06 > 0:10:09- Well, don't fall, then. - That would upset me.
0:10:09 > 0:10:10Well, don't fall out, yeah.
0:10:10 > 0:10:14Make me particularly grumpy.
0:10:14 > 0:10:16- Morning.- Good morning.
0:10:18 > 0:10:22I would like to say, first of all, thank you very much for being here.
0:10:22 > 0:10:24I was slightly terrified I was going turn up
0:10:24 > 0:10:27and there was going to be this empty hall in Brixton,
0:10:27 > 0:10:30so it's fantastic to see you all here.
0:10:30 > 0:10:35In a conventional production, this is the point when I'd be handing out the script,
0:10:35 > 0:10:36but as you've already gathered,
0:10:36 > 0:10:40this is very far from a conventional theatrical production.
0:10:40 > 0:10:44So the meat on the bone of the script, if you like,
0:10:44 > 0:10:47is really going to be found in this room and with you.
0:10:47 > 0:10:50I'm going to be doing an awful lot of just observing and watching,
0:10:50 > 0:10:52and listening.
0:10:52 > 0:10:55And then also they'll be an ongoing dialogue, really,
0:10:55 > 0:11:00between the stuff that I'm writing, which will be drawn from what happens in here,
0:11:00 > 0:11:03and then bringing that back into this room,
0:11:03 > 0:11:06where it will morph and it'll change,
0:11:06 > 0:11:09um, and we will begin to shape the play in here.
0:11:09 > 0:11:11But the last thing I want to say
0:11:11 > 0:11:13is that I do very much see this play as being your play,
0:11:13 > 0:11:15as being your voice.
0:11:15 > 0:11:18And my aspiration is for the piece to feel very true
0:11:18 > 0:11:20and very authentic for all of you here.
0:11:20 > 0:11:24I think that's it. Thank you very much again.
0:11:24 > 0:11:26Very good. Thanks, Owen.
0:11:28 > 0:11:33I genuinely can't imagine how stressful it is for guys like Owen,
0:11:33 > 0:11:36because, you know what I mean, it's got to be insane.
0:11:36 > 0:11:39Cos, you know, to be a writer and a director and a producer,
0:11:39 > 0:11:44and not actually have the script has got to be, like, nuts.
0:11:44 > 0:11:47You know, like it's not... You've got to be losing sleep.
0:11:47 > 0:11:50So I don't envy any of them, to be fair.
0:11:50 > 0:11:54- How are you feeling, are you looking forward to it? - Me? Man, I can't wait, I can't wait.
0:11:54 > 0:11:57It's like a ski hill, I'm just at the top looking down at it. It's great.
0:11:59 > 0:12:03So look, each day we're going to begin the day
0:12:03 > 0:12:05with what we call a warm-up.
0:12:05 > 0:12:08What it means is just getting us focused
0:12:08 > 0:12:11so that we can start the day kind of all in the same place, yeah?
0:12:11 > 0:12:15OK, and what I want you to do is just find somebody as partner.
0:12:15 > 0:12:19Doesn't matter who they are, find somebody and sit opposite them, OK?
0:12:19 > 0:12:22Just make one of you an A and one of you a B, OK.
0:12:22 > 0:12:24So, just decide between you.
0:12:24 > 0:12:27I'm going to give you two minutes, As, OK,
0:12:27 > 0:12:31to tell Bs the story of your life,
0:12:31 > 0:12:35but you've only got two minutes to tell it. OK, all right. Go.
0:12:39 > 0:12:41I grew up in north Yorkshire, got two brothers, mum and dad,
0:12:41 > 0:12:43and lots of dogs and lots of horses.
0:12:43 > 0:12:46Dad was in the Army so travelled a lot about when I was a kid.
0:12:46 > 0:12:49I went to a primary school, Mountfield Lodge.
0:12:49 > 0:12:54And then once I was in Canada, started bartending, did a lot of drinking, partying...
0:12:54 > 0:12:57Bravo 22 Company start from square one.
0:12:57 > 0:13:02Amongst them, as reinforcements, will be five professional actors,
0:13:02 > 0:13:03two men and three women,
0:13:03 > 0:13:07who'll provide at least a spine of experience and ability.
0:13:07 > 0:13:10The majority though, some 15, are complete novices
0:13:10 > 0:13:14and they'll be taking the lead roles on stage
0:13:14 > 0:13:16as well as behind the scenes.
0:13:16 > 0:13:20All are contending with a range of life-changing injuries,
0:13:20 > 0:13:23from partial blindness to loss of limb,
0:13:23 > 0:13:26and chronic spinal damage to traumatic brain injury.
0:13:26 > 0:13:32That entails driving all the vehicles in the British Army with the Royal Logistic Corps.
0:13:32 > 0:13:34After beating up a policeman,
0:13:34 > 0:13:39the judge turned round and told me that I needed to find an exit for my violent tendencies,
0:13:39 > 0:13:41so I joined the Army.
0:13:41 > 0:13:44All of them have had the experience of being in a military company,
0:13:44 > 0:13:47but now they have to quickly get into the idea
0:13:47 > 0:13:49of being part of a theatrical company.
0:13:49 > 0:13:53For the last month Steve and I have been introduced to their world.
0:13:53 > 0:13:58We've got, I'd say, a week to properly introduce them to our world
0:13:58 > 0:14:01so that we can start working properly as quickly as possible.
0:14:12 > 0:14:18WHISTLING AND SINGING
0:14:20 > 0:14:23Some of the interesting things that you do in the Marines
0:14:23 > 0:14:26as part of the bonding process
0:14:26 > 0:14:29you can apply the same principles to this place,
0:14:29 > 0:14:31which is stripping down the inhibitions,
0:14:31 > 0:14:33getting down to the real person
0:14:33 > 0:14:35and then seeing if you match up with other people.
0:14:35 > 0:14:38In the Marines, you make some lifelong friends.
0:14:38 > 0:14:44In the theatre, the connections that you'll make and the friends you'll make will be just as long.
0:14:44 > 0:14:47- And so you're still up for this? - Oh, yeah.
0:14:47 > 0:14:51No, you would have to pry me away, literally, with a crowbar,
0:14:51 > 0:14:52big black crowbar.
0:14:54 > 0:15:00Just try and move together so that I really can't tell who is doing that.
0:15:02 > 0:15:05And if you're confident that you're able to do it with, sort of,
0:15:05 > 0:15:09one hand or one arm, then you can begin to add another element,
0:15:09 > 0:15:12like the other hand or a foot.
0:15:12 > 0:15:16I don't want to be able to tell who's leading the movement.
0:15:16 > 0:15:20Oh, oh, I could see you were leading that, Maurillia. Slower. Slower.
0:15:20 > 0:15:23OK, first off...a chair.
0:15:29 > 0:15:33I want a doorway. Doorway.
0:15:34 > 0:15:37Ten, the number ten.
0:15:41 > 0:15:43The Eiffel Tower.
0:15:45 > 0:15:47I want to see that shape, everybody.
0:15:47 > 0:15:51I want it to be very fat at the bottom and very tall at the top.
0:15:51 > 0:15:52How are going to do that?
0:15:52 > 0:15:55I actually think this group has it. Yes, well done.
0:15:55 > 0:15:59Wasn't quite tall enough at the top. I don't know what...
0:15:59 > 0:16:02- How was that? Was that what you expected?- Not expected, but funny.
0:16:02 > 0:16:04It was funny, weren't it?
0:16:04 > 0:16:08Got to jump at the opportunity to make yourself look like a tit.
0:16:08 > 0:16:11We're so indoctrinated by the Army, we can't seem to say no.
0:16:11 > 0:16:12It's like, "I'll do this, sir."
0:16:12 > 0:16:15That's why we're all in a bad way, cos we can't say no.
0:16:15 > 0:16:18"So are you going to do Operation Certain Death?"
0:16:18 > 0:16:22"Yeah, I'll give it a go, see how it goes."
0:16:22 > 0:16:24WHOOPING NOISES
0:16:26 > 0:16:28It's a bold project, that's for sure,
0:16:28 > 0:16:31and I think everybody who's involved in it
0:16:31 > 0:16:34is incredibly brave and really stepping outside their comfort zone.
0:16:34 > 0:16:38A lot of people run marathons, want to go and climb a mountain,
0:16:38 > 0:16:41and actually, we've got an opportunity to do something
0:16:41 > 0:16:44so totally different, I think... I think it's going to be...
0:16:44 > 0:16:46it's going to be an adventure.
0:16:46 > 0:16:48WHOOPING NOISES
0:16:50 > 0:16:53A fantastic first day. This is really about building a company
0:16:53 > 0:16:57and starting to get a sense of people's characters,
0:16:57 > 0:16:59and I think, quite naturally,
0:16:59 > 0:17:02as the person who is going to be shaping the text of this,
0:17:02 > 0:17:06I've got very normal first day nerves, cos it...your...
0:17:06 > 0:17:09your instinct is that you want to know what the play is.
0:17:09 > 0:17:12You want to know what the scenes are. But I'm having to resist that
0:17:12 > 0:17:14cos I think it's... it's really important
0:17:14 > 0:17:16not to lock ourselves down too early, actually.
0:17:16 > 0:17:21So yeah, very apprehensive but very excited.
0:17:21 > 0:17:24WHOOPING AND WAILING
0:17:25 > 0:17:27It's the beginning of an era, isn't it?
0:17:27 > 0:17:30- It is, it is.- Beginning of an era.
0:17:30 > 0:17:35It's mind-blowing at the minute, a little bit.
0:17:35 > 0:17:37It's starting to pile up.
0:17:37 > 0:17:40I think the pyramid is now starting to build,
0:17:40 > 0:17:44so when we get to the top we'll see how we go.
0:17:44 > 0:17:46We'll definitely see how we go.
0:17:46 > 0:17:50But the pyramid is building, is building. It's awesome.
0:17:50 > 0:17:51Awesome. Good.
0:17:53 > 0:17:55End of Day One.
0:17:57 > 0:18:02'It's Day Four and Stephen and Owen have already upped the ante.'
0:18:02 > 0:18:04- Morning, my friend.- Morning.
0:18:04 > 0:18:06They want the play to have music, dance and song.
0:18:06 > 0:18:10- How are you?- I'm good, I'm good, thanks. How are you?
0:18:10 > 0:18:13Yes, not too bad. Not too bad.
0:18:13 > 0:18:15- Ready for a bit of music today?- Pardon?
0:18:15 > 0:18:19- Ready for a bit of music today? - Yeah a bit of la-la-la-la-la.
0:18:19 > 0:18:23- Yeah, yeah. Do I sound ready? - Yeah, you've got the job.
0:18:23 > 0:18:26Yeah. I knew you'd be back when we start singing.
0:18:28 > 0:18:33This morning, I am hoping to do a nice slow vocal warm-up
0:18:33 > 0:18:35and then see what they can do singing-wise,
0:18:35 > 0:18:38and then hopefully we're going to sing Men Of Harlech
0:18:38 > 0:18:41and see if we can learn some harmonies
0:18:41 > 0:18:43and whether that throws them into a panic
0:18:43 > 0:18:48or whether they're actually all natural-born singers and musicians.
0:18:48 > 0:18:52I'm terrified of singing. Especially in front of people. Just terrified.
0:18:52 > 0:18:55I'm embarrassed if I'm the only person in the house,
0:18:55 > 0:18:58I've got all the windows closed and all the doors closed
0:18:58 > 0:19:00and I'm in the shower and I know no-one can hear me,
0:19:00 > 0:19:02I'm still embarrassed about singing.
0:19:02 > 0:19:06Which is strange cos I come from a long line of musical people.
0:19:06 > 0:19:09But I am terrified of singing in public.
0:19:09 > 0:19:11THEY SING SCALES
0:19:15 > 0:19:17GUNFIRE
0:19:18 > 0:19:20While the Company of Bravo 22
0:19:20 > 0:19:23immerse themselves in musical theatre,
0:19:23 > 0:19:28Owen is engrossed in the theatre of war.
0:19:28 > 0:19:30Over a very short period of time,
0:19:30 > 0:19:34I think it's really essential for me to learn as much of the world
0:19:34 > 0:19:38that the cast have experienced as possible, you know,
0:19:38 > 0:19:43and fantastically, I've got these rushes
0:19:43 > 0:19:47that have been shot over the last couple of years,
0:19:47 > 0:19:50following troops around Afghanistan and...
0:19:52 > 0:19:55..it's proving to be incredibly useful, actually,
0:19:55 > 0:19:58in terms of learning that world and having your ear attuned
0:19:58 > 0:20:02to certain phrases, for language, you know,
0:20:02 > 0:20:04for all kinds of things, you know.
0:20:04 > 0:20:06It's that classic thing of
0:20:06 > 0:20:09you don't always know what you're looking for until you find it.
0:20:09 > 0:20:11Two, three, and...
0:20:11 > 0:20:13# Ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba Ba-ba-ba-ba
0:20:13 > 0:20:15# Ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba Ba-ba-ba-ba... #
0:20:15 > 0:20:19You're on patrol in Nad Ali North. It's gone horribly wrong.
0:20:19 > 0:20:21You've stood on that device. What's going to happen to your body?
0:20:21 > 0:20:23How many injuries is he going to receive?
0:20:23 > 0:20:26Think about it. How high is the amputation going to be?
0:20:26 > 0:20:29Your leg has now come off from there.
0:20:29 > 0:20:31We'll take your leg off from there.
0:20:31 > 0:20:33What other injuries is John going to have?
0:20:33 > 0:20:35Shrapnel? Where's he going to get shrapnel?
0:20:35 > 0:20:39He's going to get frag to the side of his neck,
0:20:39 > 0:20:42big chunks missing out of his legs from all the stones and crap
0:20:42 > 0:20:45that's come up off the floor. Where's that rifle going to go?
0:20:45 > 0:20:48Straight into his grid. He's going to get a fractured jaw along there.
0:20:48 > 0:20:50He'll probably get a fractured zygome.
0:20:50 > 0:20:52Bit of blast ear, coming out there,
0:20:52 > 0:20:54over pressure into the lung, blast lung.
0:20:54 > 0:20:56Lose a couple of fingers coming off there,
0:20:56 > 0:20:57maybe a chunk missing out of the forearm.
0:20:57 > 0:21:00Dislocated shoulder up there.
0:21:00 > 0:21:03It goes on and it goes on and it goes on.
0:21:04 > 0:21:07What's the first question you Royals always ask when you've been blown up?
0:21:07 > 0:21:09Are my cock and balls still there?
0:21:09 > 0:21:12And I'll go, "Yeah, but you're going to be
0:21:12 > 0:21:16"pissing in six different directions for the rest of your life."
0:21:16 > 0:21:20# The grand old Duke of York He had ten thousand men
0:21:20 > 0:21:23# He marched them up to the top of the hill
0:21:23 > 0:21:25# Then he marched them down again
0:21:25 > 0:21:27# And when they were up, they were up
0:21:27 > 0:21:29# And when they were down, they were down
0:21:29 > 0:21:31# And when they were only halfway up... #
0:21:31 > 0:21:33I mean, this is...
0:21:33 > 0:21:37This is a great example of almost a piece of found theatre.
0:21:37 > 0:21:43It's incredibly visual, and yet also,
0:21:43 > 0:21:46for me, I think it's doing something very powerful, you know.
0:21:46 > 0:21:50It's boiling down into the real sort of simplicity of war. The essence.
0:21:50 > 0:21:54And the fact that he's actually drawing on him,
0:21:54 > 0:21:55I suppose I'm finding that quite striking.
0:21:55 > 0:21:58It almost looks like the sort of diagrams that you see
0:21:58 > 0:22:02of you, know battle, manoeuvres and yet it's actually happening on...
0:22:02 > 0:22:04on this soldier's body.
0:22:04 > 0:22:06It's the kind of thing that no-one's ever told me about
0:22:06 > 0:22:11and that I wouldn't have known about unless I'd seen this.
0:22:12 > 0:22:15'You're going to have arteries running along the inside of the arm.
0:22:15 > 0:22:18'This is called the brachial artery.'
0:22:18 > 0:22:23# Men of Harlech, honour calls us
0:22:23 > 0:22:27# No proud Saxon e'er appals us
0:22:27 > 0:22:31# On we march whate'er befalls us
0:22:31 > 0:22:34# Never shall we fly. #
0:22:34 > 0:22:36Same tune, next bit.
0:22:39 > 0:22:43Seeing so much footage of the feet, of the patrolling boots,
0:22:43 > 0:22:47I suppose it's sort of focusing my mind about how, on the ground,
0:22:47 > 0:22:51the war really sort of comes down to that level, you know.
0:22:51 > 0:22:54It's that old military phrase, "Boots on the ground."
0:22:54 > 0:22:57But it means so much in an environment where,
0:22:57 > 0:23:01I think it's safe to say, the majority of the woundings
0:23:01 > 0:23:03are caused by IEDs.
0:23:03 > 0:23:07# Forward ever, backward never
0:23:07 > 0:23:11# This proud foe astounding
0:23:11 > 0:23:16# Fight for father Sister, mother... #
0:23:16 > 0:23:19You know, on the ground it's a very, very human experience
0:23:19 > 0:23:24and it's kind of ageless in all its tragedy.
0:23:24 > 0:23:30# We will win or die. #
0:23:34 > 0:23:37SHOUTING AND SCREAMING
0:23:38 > 0:23:40- Fuck! You all right? - Yeah, yeah I'm good.
0:23:40 > 0:23:43- Keep fucking looking, mate. - What's that supposed to mean?
0:23:43 > 0:23:44You're going to be all right.
0:23:44 > 0:23:47Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck!
0:23:47 > 0:23:49You've stepped on an IED, you're going to be fine.
0:23:49 > 0:23:51- You're going to be fine. - I'm going to fucking die.
0:23:51 > 0:23:56You've still got these, mate. You're all right there.
0:23:56 > 0:23:58OK. Dan...
0:23:58 > 0:24:03let him check your nuts, then "I'm going to die," OK?
0:24:03 > 0:24:06Initial ideas for the script are acted out,
0:24:06 > 0:24:08all based on personal experience.
0:24:08 > 0:24:13Like that of Dan Shaw, who until July 26th, 2009,
0:24:13 > 0:24:16was a six-foot-five rifleman.
0:24:17 > 0:24:20I lost my legs when I was 18.
0:24:21 > 0:24:26We were just on a routine patrol and unfortunately I hit an IED.
0:24:28 > 0:24:32I don't remember anything before the patrol itself.
0:24:32 > 0:24:36I just remember going to bed the night before
0:24:36 > 0:24:39and then, all of a sudden, I... I woke up
0:24:39 > 0:24:44a couple of weeks later and I was in Selly Oak Hospital.
0:24:44 > 0:24:46I'm going to fucking die. I'm going to fucking die.
0:24:46 > 0:24:48- You're not going to fucking die. - Oh, I'm going to fucking die.
0:24:48 > 0:24:51Just give me...give me a cigarette! Give me a fucking cigarette!
0:24:51 > 0:24:53I can't give you a fag, mate. I can't.
0:24:53 > 0:24:56Come on, I'm going to fucking die. Just give me what I want!
0:24:58 > 0:25:02At first they told me what happened
0:25:02 > 0:25:03and I kind of just drowned it out,
0:25:03 > 0:25:08like I didn't really want to hear it and I think, you know,
0:25:08 > 0:25:13cos what they told me was I was awake for the whole incident
0:25:13 > 0:25:16and I think my brain had just shut it out,
0:25:16 > 0:25:18saying to myself, you know,
0:25:18 > 0:25:20"You don't need to know what happened."
0:25:20 > 0:25:24So I carried on with my life. It doesn't affect me.
0:25:24 > 0:25:28My mum, my dad, it was hard for them.
0:25:28 > 0:25:33I personally think that it was harder for them to deal with it
0:25:33 > 0:25:35than me to deal with it because I was so young
0:25:35 > 0:25:39and, you know, they see their little boy grow up into this man.
0:25:39 > 0:25:43But I always keep a smile on my face, which I generally do.
0:25:43 > 0:25:45I ain't done this in a while.
0:25:45 > 0:25:47'Just keep smiling all the time.'
0:25:47 > 0:25:49CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:25:52 > 0:25:54At what time should I call the ambulance, mate?
0:25:54 > 0:25:57Now, mate. I'm frigged.
0:25:59 > 0:26:00Believe it or not,
0:26:00 > 0:26:04Dan has got himself cast as one of the dancers in the play.
0:26:06 > 0:26:08Oh, you just...don't know if my stumps are OK.
0:26:08 > 0:26:10I could be...my stumps could be severely injured,
0:26:10 > 0:26:12she just jumps on my stumps.
0:26:12 > 0:26:14I'm not bothered. Let's go for a ride.
0:26:14 > 0:26:16Go for a ride.
0:26:16 > 0:26:20All right! Giga-da-giga-da-goo!
0:26:21 > 0:26:23I've had the easiest job in a way, doing movement,
0:26:23 > 0:26:26because a lot of them find the physical side of this quite easy
0:26:26 > 0:26:29because they've used their bodies a lot in their job.
0:26:29 > 0:26:33And they've been really open and I've had no barriers up at all.
0:26:33 > 0:26:35They just, they just go for it.
0:26:35 > 0:26:38Just when...when you're bringing that one over to there,
0:26:38 > 0:26:42watch where your knees go, cos that one's fine.
0:26:42 > 0:26:46- But that one's still sore?- Yeah. If you just try and keep them up here.
0:26:46 > 0:26:48The only one of the three wheelchair dancers
0:26:48 > 0:26:52with dance experience is Royal Marine, Cassidy Little.
0:26:52 > 0:26:57- Are you...are you sturdy like that? - I'm sturdy.- OK.
0:26:57 > 0:26:59MUSIC: "Yes" by Antony and the Johnsons
0:27:07 > 0:27:10I started quite young in dance and...
0:27:10 > 0:27:13and I actually ended up doing, getting a scholarship for it
0:27:13 > 0:27:16and, you know, going to university to study it and all sorts of things.
0:27:16 > 0:27:17But unfortunately,
0:27:17 > 0:27:21recent events have prevented my future dancing career, so...
0:27:27 > 0:27:30Everything about it, the movement, the shape,
0:27:30 > 0:27:35that's what I was doing and now...now I'm not.
0:27:35 > 0:27:38Now I'm just sitting in a chair. You know, I'm wheeling upstage,
0:27:38 > 0:27:40downstage, wheeling around in a circle.
0:27:40 > 0:27:45OK, yeah, the...the interactive stuff with each other is great.
0:27:45 > 0:27:49I just... It's the first time I've been in this environment, you know,
0:27:49 > 0:27:53with this cast and crew that I can honestly say I miss my foot.
0:27:53 > 0:27:57Because, you know, it would mean if I had my foot back
0:27:57 > 0:27:59I would be up dancing.
0:27:59 > 0:28:01So...
0:28:01 > 0:28:03I miss my foot.
0:28:03 > 0:28:06'Do you remember when you were a kid and you fell off your bike
0:28:06 > 0:28:08'and your hand got rubbed against the grit
0:28:08 > 0:28:11'and your knees got rubbed against the grit and you...
0:28:11 > 0:28:12'and your whole body kind of...'
0:28:12 > 0:28:16One of the most time consuming things is actually trawling through
0:28:16 > 0:28:19all of the audio files of the early interviews that I've been doing
0:28:19 > 0:28:22with the guys and just listening to it again and again.
0:28:22 > 0:28:28With a view to, again, you know, pulling out those moments
0:28:28 > 0:28:33that not only you instinctively feel might work in the play
0:28:33 > 0:28:36but as more and more of the play is written, it's sort of...
0:28:36 > 0:28:39It's sorts of closing down your options as well.
0:28:39 > 0:28:41'I don't remember anything of the day.
0:28:41 > 0:28:44'I don't remember waking up, I don't remember eating breakfast.
0:28:44 > 0:28:48'I don't remember getting orders.
0:28:48 > 0:28:52'I don't remember loading up, leaving the compound.'
0:28:52 > 0:28:54I don't remember...
0:28:55 > 0:28:58..getting to the compound where the bomb went off.
0:29:04 > 0:29:06The next thing I know
0:29:06 > 0:29:12I'm in the middle of a horrific hallucination.
0:29:12 > 0:29:18I thought that I was being interrogated by a Taliban nurse.
0:29:18 > 0:29:23Help! Help, I'm over here! Help, please!
0:29:23 > 0:29:26- Can you remember your name?- ANA!
0:29:26 > 0:29:29- You'll wake the other patients.- ANA!
0:29:29 > 0:29:33'I'm screaming and I'm yelling at the doctors and the consultants.
0:29:33 > 0:29:36'Calling them traitors and then in walked Laura, my fiancee.
0:29:36 > 0:29:38'And, of course, I broke down in tears then
0:29:38 > 0:29:41'because I figured that she'd been captured by the Taliban.
0:29:41 > 0:29:43'I couldn't... it didn't make any sense.'
0:29:43 > 0:29:44Charlie, it's me.
0:29:44 > 0:29:48Oh, fucking Jesus. How did they fucking get you?
0:29:48 > 0:29:50Have they fucking touched you?
0:29:50 > 0:29:53Have they fucking touched anything on your head?
0:29:54 > 0:29:56How did they get you?
0:29:56 > 0:29:59If you've fucking touched one fucking hair on her head,
0:29:59 > 0:30:01I'll fucking...!
0:30:03 > 0:30:07He was having awful hallucinations in hospital.
0:30:07 > 0:30:09He...and he was really big. I mean, he was huge
0:30:09 > 0:30:12because the shock had obviously caused his body to fill with...
0:30:12 > 0:30:16with fluid, so his... his lips were really puffy,
0:30:16 > 0:30:19even though he had a... he was intubated.
0:30:19 > 0:30:24But he did just look like Cassidy and it was such a relief.
0:30:24 > 0:30:27And I just have no idea about the numbers of...
0:30:27 > 0:30:29Of lads that were coming back injured.
0:30:29 > 0:30:33I mean, I couldn't believe it, that first...the first weekend
0:30:33 > 0:30:35when I was living down in Birmingham at the hospital,
0:30:35 > 0:30:37and then the second weekend,
0:30:37 > 0:30:40and they just kept coming in and coming in and coming in.
0:30:40 > 0:30:42You know, double amputees, triple amputees.
0:30:42 > 0:30:47Guys without genitals, guys without eyes. Guys without fingers.
0:30:47 > 0:30:50And I was shocked at the numbers that just kept coming through the system.
0:30:50 > 0:30:52Just coming in, coming in, coming in.
0:30:52 > 0:30:55'You know that feeling when you come off your bike, you know, as a kid?
0:30:55 > 0:30:57'D'you remember that pain?
0:30:57 > 0:30:59'The one where you, the one you feel at first.' Wrong.
0:30:59 > 0:31:01'The one you don't feel at first.'
0:31:01 > 0:31:04GUNFIRE
0:31:08 > 0:31:10SHOUTING
0:31:13 > 0:31:15GUNFIRE
0:31:18 > 0:31:21Start dropping on it.
0:31:21 > 0:31:24Hello, 63. This is 63 Alpha.
0:31:26 > 0:31:31That's it, Liam, perfect. Yeah, great. Slow, slow, slow.
0:31:31 > 0:31:35'2008, in Afghanistan, we got ambushed from a couple of sides
0:31:35 > 0:31:38'and, erm, yeah, we took a heavy weight of fire.
0:31:41 > 0:31:44'There was a flash. Explosion.'
0:31:47 > 0:31:51Just a few bursts and keep them suppressed...!
0:31:52 > 0:31:55'I didn't realise I'd lost the sight in my right eye.
0:31:55 > 0:32:00'It's my shooting eye as well, so, my rifle eye.'
0:32:00 > 0:32:02I think...
0:32:02 > 0:32:07for me personally, I think it was more the psychological side
0:32:07 > 0:32:09that affected me in my everyday life
0:32:09 > 0:32:13and losing the sight of my right eye.
0:32:13 > 0:32:15Like, I drunk quite a lot as well
0:32:15 > 0:32:18and consequently it just landed me in a lot of trouble with the police.
0:32:18 > 0:32:21I had a few accounts of assault, ABH.
0:32:23 > 0:32:27Just...it just must have been...don't know...
0:32:27 > 0:32:30something aggressive, quite...
0:32:30 > 0:32:34inside triggered off I think after a few drinks.
0:32:34 > 0:32:37I don't know if it's just ideas of me trying to get revenge.
0:32:39 > 0:32:43'I just go out on it all day. I don't give a fuck.
0:32:43 > 0:32:45'I get wound up, wound up by the smallest thing
0:32:45 > 0:32:47'and I just want to smash something up. Or someone.'
0:32:47 > 0:32:50Only when you drink.
0:32:50 > 0:32:52'Well, the drink makes it worse.
0:32:52 > 0:32:55'The anger's there all the time and it's little images like,
0:32:55 > 0:32:59'fucking, I don't know, when an IED blew a mate's hands off,
0:32:59 > 0:33:01'the look in his eyes, that sort of thing.'
0:33:01 > 0:33:03You're on probation now, aren't you?
0:33:03 > 0:33:08Bravo 22 Company is beginning to get into its acting stride.
0:33:08 > 0:33:12But let's remember that all these actors are seriously damaged,
0:33:12 > 0:33:16physically and emotionally. They're still mending.
0:33:21 > 0:33:23I walk into the rehearsal room every morning
0:33:23 > 0:33:25not quite sure who's going to be there.
0:33:25 > 0:33:27Obviously the guys, you know, are sick some days,
0:33:27 > 0:33:29sometimes their meds haven't worked properly,
0:33:29 > 0:33:32they've had a bad night's sleep so they can't come and rehearse,
0:33:32 > 0:33:34so it's always a bit of a lottery.
0:33:34 > 0:33:37Hi there, Taff, how you doing? It's Owen here.
0:33:37 > 0:33:40I'm just giving you a quick ring cos we've heard from the guys
0:33:40 > 0:33:42that you're not feeling too great
0:33:42 > 0:33:45and you're staying in the accommodation today.
0:33:45 > 0:33:47Would be great to have a chat, firstly to ask
0:33:47 > 0:33:50if there's anything we can do to help, if there's anything...
0:33:50 > 0:33:53or anyone who you'd like to talk to
0:33:53 > 0:33:57cos unless a doctor's kind of signed you off and seen you and said
0:33:57 > 0:34:01that you have to stay in bed you really, really have to be here.
0:34:01 > 0:34:04But when they told me it was the hardest training in the world,
0:34:04 > 0:34:06there was no fucking way I was going to quit, was there?
0:34:06 > 0:34:08What's happened?
0:34:08 > 0:34:11So Taff, one of our soldiers, one of our cast,
0:34:11 > 0:34:15hasn't turned up today and apparently...
0:34:15 > 0:34:18we're not quite sure why. Erm, but it is...
0:34:18 > 0:34:21it's one of the challenges of this project is that
0:34:21 > 0:34:24all the guys are on a huge amount of medication,
0:34:24 > 0:34:27they're very kindly now trying to pull back from medication
0:34:27 > 0:34:29so they can focus, so they can stay awake
0:34:29 > 0:34:31and I just hope that isn't meaning that, you know,
0:34:31 > 0:34:35it kind of messes up their sleep patterns
0:34:35 > 0:34:39or they're in so much pain that they're always exhausted and stuff.
0:34:39 > 0:34:42It's...it's just one of the features of this unique production!
0:34:42 > 0:34:44All right, Jase, thank you.
0:34:52 > 0:34:56# Codeine, Tramadol Benzadryl, Oramorph
0:34:56 > 0:35:00# Paracetamol, MSD
0:35:00 > 0:35:04# Amitryptyline, Diazepam... #
0:35:04 > 0:35:08I've got Tramadol, which is a pain killer.
0:35:11 > 0:35:15You know, this is really basic, you know, to keep me going.
0:35:15 > 0:35:17These are just paracetamol, it's fine.
0:35:19 > 0:35:23But I used to be on morphine and all sorts and it just didn't work.
0:35:25 > 0:35:29But then, you know, I sort of...
0:35:29 > 0:35:31I'm on the edge and I've got to tweak it.
0:35:31 > 0:35:33It's like a system, you know.
0:35:35 > 0:35:38Yeah, it's not the end of the... you know, I'm lucky,
0:35:38 > 0:35:40I've got my legs and I've got my arms.
0:35:40 > 0:35:43I can still do a lot more than a lot...lot of people.
0:35:43 > 0:35:46THEY SING
0:35:48 > 0:35:50Relax.
0:36:01 > 0:36:06Ecstasy, ecstasy, ecstasy! I want ecstasy on ketamine.
0:36:06 > 0:36:09Whatever it does to you, please be ecstatic, OK?
0:36:12 > 0:36:15As the weeks pass, there's an increasing emphasis placed
0:36:15 > 0:36:19on routine, repetition, discipline and teamwork.
0:36:20 > 0:36:24..Two, three, four, five, six, turn!
0:36:24 > 0:36:26One, two, three...
0:36:26 > 0:36:28The parallels between the world of theatre and the world of the army
0:36:28 > 0:36:31are really interesting and more and more of those are coming out.
0:36:31 > 0:36:35Even this... the whole concept of rehearsals and drilling and drilling
0:36:35 > 0:36:38and going through the movements... yeah, I mean like every few days
0:36:38 > 0:36:41you'll hear people say, 'Oh, it's a bit like being in the army.'
0:36:41 > 0:36:44Ba-a-a-ang!
0:36:44 > 0:36:48But what we're trying to get right now is the voice of the piece,
0:36:48 > 0:36:49the real heart of it, the tone of it.
0:36:49 > 0:36:53And there's three or four people who are really revealing themselves
0:36:53 > 0:36:55to have some real talent, I think.
0:36:58 > 0:37:06# I sing because I'm happy
0:37:06 > 0:37:12# I sing because I'm free
0:37:12 > 0:37:20# For his eye is on the sparrow
0:37:22 > 0:37:25# And I know... #
0:37:26 > 0:37:32When I was seven years old, I had a dream.
0:37:32 > 0:37:34I was going to live where the Queen lived
0:37:34 > 0:37:37and I was going to be a soldier.
0:37:39 > 0:37:43That day I saw the Queen, aged seven,
0:37:43 > 0:37:46she came to visit my country,
0:37:46 > 0:37:49Trinidad and Tobago, on Independence Day,
0:37:49 > 0:37:51one of her royal visits.
0:37:51 > 0:37:56And we all lined the streets of San Fernando waving
0:37:56 > 0:38:03and I just saw her in this pink matching suit, hat,
0:38:03 > 0:38:07and I just shouted,
0:38:07 > 0:38:11"I'm going to live where you live."
0:38:11 > 0:38:17And as we were waving she had on a pink hat and a matching suit.
0:38:17 > 0:38:20And as she waved, I was shouting,
0:38:20 > 0:38:23"I'm going to live where you live!
0:38:23 > 0:38:25"I'm going to live where you live."
0:38:25 > 0:38:29And then I had my dream,
0:38:29 > 0:38:34and I told my mother about it while she was combing my hair.
0:38:34 > 0:38:37OK now, that's good darling, that's lovely.
0:38:37 > 0:38:39Just having the two points of focus...
0:38:39 > 0:38:43Maurillia's dream was to be a soldier in the Queen's Army.
0:38:43 > 0:38:47It was a dream that was realised, then shattered.
0:38:47 > 0:38:50What's led me to this place?
0:38:50 > 0:38:52To be honest, it came at a time
0:38:52 > 0:38:57where I still couldn't get my head round being injured.
0:38:57 > 0:39:00You know, having everything that I worked for just taken
0:39:00 > 0:39:04within the twinkle of my eye, you know.
0:39:05 > 0:39:07Having, being...
0:39:07 > 0:39:13becoming disabled, you know, it was hard. Really, really hard.
0:39:13 > 0:39:18But then when you get with other injured servicemen and women
0:39:18 > 0:39:21and you experience their pain, you realise,
0:39:21 > 0:39:23"Well, wait,
0:39:23 > 0:39:26"I went through that."
0:39:26 > 0:39:30"I'm taking those meds. That's the same effect it has on me."
0:39:32 > 0:39:36And our stories then entwine with each other.
0:39:37 > 0:39:40For two years I couldn't sleep.
0:39:40 > 0:39:44Every fucking night, just images flickering through.
0:39:44 > 0:39:47Being blown up, Yanks on fire running into walls.
0:39:47 > 0:39:51Crawling through dead bodies in some fucking IED factory. Just images...
0:39:53 > 0:39:54It seems empty.
0:39:54 > 0:39:58- Well, it obviously fucking wasn't, was it?!- But we saw them leaving.
0:39:58 > 0:39:59We saw them fucking leaving.
0:39:59 > 0:40:01It's going to be...
0:40:01 > 0:40:05a play, in a play, in a play, in a play.
0:40:05 > 0:40:08The message of
0:40:08 > 0:40:13men and women, going through... the darkest place,
0:40:13 > 0:40:15the happy place,
0:40:15 > 0:40:18the alone place.
0:40:18 > 0:40:21The pain place.
0:40:21 > 0:40:23The scared place.
0:40:23 > 0:40:25You know, the dying place.
0:40:26 > 0:40:29The wish if you were dead place is...
0:40:29 > 0:40:33is so rounded and so full of...
0:40:33 > 0:40:35of life,
0:40:35 > 0:40:37that it's going to be amazing.
0:40:37 > 0:40:40# Scared to close my eyes
0:40:40 > 0:40:45# Scared to put my head on the pillow
0:40:45 > 0:40:49# Worse at night Always worse at night. #
0:40:52 > 0:40:54It's the pain that triggers it.
0:40:54 > 0:40:56It's always there, bubbling away.
0:40:56 > 0:41:00But worse at night, always worse at night.
0:41:00 > 0:41:04One of the really interesting things was feeling how, for about, I suppose,
0:41:04 > 0:41:05five of the characters,
0:41:05 > 0:41:09they actually developed very strong, specific arcs.
0:41:10 > 0:41:13So, for example, Lyndon's character, Richard,
0:41:13 > 0:41:17his kind of main emotional axis, is very much with his mother,
0:41:17 > 0:41:21and so his story is a mother-son story.
0:41:21 > 0:41:23"Dear Rich... a few more parcels for you.
0:41:23 > 0:41:27"No chocolate like you asked but lots of Haribo and shower gel."
0:41:27 > 0:41:31My character is basically, me, to be honest.
0:41:31 > 0:41:34Almost in every way, it's about me,
0:41:34 > 0:41:40you know, it goes from being happy and motivated
0:41:40 > 0:41:43to breaking down,
0:41:43 > 0:41:46snappy.
0:41:50 > 0:41:53These are all things that you could apply to yourself?
0:41:53 > 0:41:57Yeah, for over the last couple of years, definitely.
0:41:59 > 0:42:00No matter how black it was,
0:42:00 > 0:42:04I'd always, you know, try and put a smile on,
0:42:04 > 0:42:06especially for my mother...
0:42:08 > 0:42:10..so I, sort of, kept a lot of it in.
0:42:10 > 0:42:13She's like me, though. She hid everything,
0:42:13 > 0:42:14kept it to herself.
0:42:16 > 0:42:18But you can always tell, can't you?
0:42:21 > 0:42:23That was the vehicle Lyndon was in.
0:42:24 > 0:42:26What was left of it.
0:42:26 > 0:42:30They weren't looking for anybody still alive in it.
0:42:30 > 0:42:32Yeah, they thought I was a pink mist.
0:42:32 > 0:42:35Cos it was at night time, as well, and they couldn't find me.
0:42:35 > 0:42:37So, they thought I was just pink mist
0:42:37 > 0:42:40and blown up into every little bit.
0:42:40 > 0:42:41They thought you were killed?
0:42:41 > 0:42:43Yeah.
0:42:43 > 0:42:45Well, you'd think so, looking at the vehicle, wouldn't you?
0:42:46 > 0:42:48When I first saw him,
0:42:48 > 0:42:52to find out how ill he was and how wrecked he was,
0:42:52 > 0:42:55I mean he still had sand in his... in his belly button.
0:42:55 > 0:42:59He still had sand in his toes from the... from the desert.
0:42:59 > 0:43:03He still had cordite, you know, um, on him.
0:43:03 > 0:43:06It was just, um, from the explosion.
0:43:06 > 0:43:10He was coughing up cordite all the time
0:43:10 > 0:43:15and to see your son like that, with broken teeth, he can't feed himself,
0:43:15 > 0:43:18he can't move off the bed because his back's broken,
0:43:18 > 0:43:20he had shrapnel wounds as well,
0:43:20 > 0:43:23to his legs,
0:43:23 > 0:43:26his groin, his arms, his face.
0:43:28 > 0:43:30So, it was...
0:43:32 > 0:43:35He was different to the lad I waved goodbye to. Yeah.
0:43:38 > 0:43:40But at the end of the day, he's my son, isn't he?
0:43:40 > 0:43:43He's my baby.
0:43:43 > 0:43:44I'd never stop him.
0:43:44 > 0:43:48Well, it's hard. Yeah, it is, seeing your boy go off like that.
0:43:52 > 0:43:55I don't think I can put it into words how proud I am.
0:43:58 > 0:44:00- (VOICE CRACKS)- And that he's here.
0:44:01 > 0:44:04Because there's no way he should be here.
0:44:04 > 0:44:06He shouldn't... he shouldn't be here.
0:44:09 > 0:44:10The nature of the conflict
0:44:10 > 0:44:13and the issues that individuals have to deal with at such a young age...
0:44:13 > 0:44:15I mean that's what's really hit me between the eyes,
0:44:15 > 0:44:17is that, you know,
0:44:17 > 0:44:21a lot of these guys, when they, sort of, take up their weapons
0:44:21 > 0:44:24and they go to war, they're boys, you know.
0:44:25 > 0:44:27And also, you get a sense, via them,
0:44:27 > 0:44:31of the level of destruction out there as well
0:44:31 > 0:44:35and so it's definitely opened my eyes, and there was a period,
0:44:35 > 0:44:38I'd say in the first two or three weeks of rehearsal,
0:44:38 > 0:44:40where I'd just had a month of interviewing them,
0:44:40 > 0:44:43I got a little taste, just a tiny taste, I think,
0:44:43 > 0:44:46of some of the anger that they must sometimes feel.
0:44:49 > 0:44:51We didn't mean to cause offence. Sorry.
0:44:51 > 0:44:53Are you with them too, them?
0:44:53 > 0:44:55Who the fuck is them?
0:44:55 > 0:44:57- Well, the soldiers.- Yeah, I am.
0:44:58 > 0:45:01Well then, sorry, what's wrong with you?
0:45:01 > 0:45:03Oh, I don't know. I broke me back in two places.
0:45:03 > 0:45:05I had a disc at C5 and C7 removed.
0:45:05 > 0:45:08I'm addicted to meds and when the pain gets too much
0:45:08 > 0:45:10I fall over and piss myself in public.
0:45:10 > 0:45:12- Why, what's the matter with you? - All right, mate,
0:45:12 > 0:45:15- I was only asking.- Fucking prick.
0:45:15 > 0:45:17Take it easy, mate, take it easy.
0:45:19 > 0:45:21I don't really have a social life any more
0:45:21 > 0:45:23because, basically...
0:45:26 > 0:45:29..the risk of falling over, because occasionally
0:45:29 > 0:45:31I've actually pissed myself
0:45:31 > 0:45:34with the pain when you go down, and you just...
0:45:34 > 0:45:35your bladder just lets go.
0:45:38 > 0:45:40There's always that...
0:45:43 > 0:45:46..worry that you'll be out having a good time,
0:45:46 > 0:45:48something will happen,
0:45:48 > 0:45:52you'll be on the floor, and in a puddle of piss, basically.
0:45:52 > 0:45:54Which has happened in public before,
0:45:54 > 0:45:57and everybody just looks at you like you're a freak.
0:45:59 > 0:46:03And you start thinking people think you're just putting it on and...
0:46:04 > 0:46:08..and you just become very argumentative with everybody.
0:46:08 > 0:46:10What's the matter with you?
0:46:10 > 0:46:12'And I mean everybody.'
0:46:14 > 0:46:15Fucking prick.
0:46:17 > 0:46:19It is very, very rich material
0:46:19 > 0:46:22and, you know, the subject areas that we're dealing with
0:46:22 > 0:46:25is very rich. It's also very extreme.
0:46:25 > 0:46:27My personal aspiration for this piece is that,
0:46:27 > 0:46:31although it isn't a political piece with a capital P,
0:46:31 > 0:46:34this isn't about, you know,
0:46:34 > 0:46:36why we go to war or where we go to war.
0:46:36 > 0:46:39But what I hope it is about, is saying that if that choice is made,
0:46:39 > 0:46:41fine, you know, make that choice,
0:46:41 > 0:46:44as long as you realise this is what those...
0:46:44 > 0:46:47this is what those three letters mean. This is what war is.
0:46:47 > 0:46:50And I just think we just don't realise that enough.
0:46:50 > 0:46:53I was blown to 20 metres.
0:46:53 > 0:46:54I heard the rocket coming in.
0:46:54 > 0:46:55I was blown 60 feet.
0:46:55 > 0:46:58It went over and I hit the roof.
0:46:58 > 0:47:01The shrapnel went through the back of my brain.
0:47:01 > 0:47:03It shattered my cheek bone.
0:47:03 > 0:47:07Apparently, a soldier stood on an undetected IED,
0:47:07 > 0:47:08killing him instantly,
0:47:08 > 0:47:13and then the shrapnel blast, or the blast from that IED,
0:47:13 > 0:47:15then hit my Company Tactical Headquarters,
0:47:15 > 0:47:21and I was found in a bush, about 20 metres away, cradling my head.
0:47:23 > 0:47:26I realised how serious it was, because, obviously, it was the brain
0:47:26 > 0:47:31and they had said it the shrapnel was...
0:47:31 > 0:47:33was millimetres away from the spinal cord,
0:47:33 > 0:47:35but at the time would never have envisaged
0:47:35 > 0:47:37what we've had to live with since.
0:47:37 > 0:47:39I imagined it was all going to be physical -
0:47:39 > 0:47:42balance and walking and all sorts of things,
0:47:42 > 0:47:45but actually we've had a different set of challenges
0:47:45 > 0:47:47to overcome emotionally.
0:47:49 > 0:47:52And it is quite difficult with the children because
0:47:52 > 0:47:58Olivia, very much, sees a different daddy to the one that went away.
0:47:58 > 0:48:01Annabel will of course grow up only knowing Stewart as he is now,
0:48:01 > 0:48:07but Olivia, it's difficult for her, because Stewart's changed hugely.
0:48:10 > 0:48:13I have difficulties with problem solving, attention,
0:48:13 > 0:48:15working memory,
0:48:15 > 0:48:17modification,
0:48:17 > 0:48:21organising, planning, amending.
0:48:21 > 0:48:24So, everything that I was in terms of my role,
0:48:24 > 0:48:26in terms of my 18 years in the Army,
0:48:26 > 0:48:30being an officer, having command, management responsibility,
0:48:30 > 0:48:34I'm pretty much ineffective in all of those now.
0:48:34 > 0:48:37So, that really is really frustrating for me.
0:48:37 > 0:48:39It must have been hard. It must be hard.
0:48:39 > 0:48:42It is. I think it, you know and I think if it had have been physical,
0:48:42 > 0:48:47it would have been easier to come to terms with and to manage,
0:48:47 > 0:48:51because this will never change now.
0:48:51 > 0:48:53This is what we will have to live with,
0:48:53 > 0:48:55for the rest of Stewart's life.
0:48:56 > 0:49:00THEY SING
0:49:06 > 0:49:08Not allowed to keep a mobile phone out here,
0:49:08 > 0:49:10they're too easy to intercept.
0:49:10 > 0:49:13Or, if the enemy get hold of them and they phone the families at home,
0:49:13 > 0:49:17tell them that their son or their husband's been captured, which isn't good.
0:49:17 > 0:49:22So, each week, we get 20 welfare minutes on the sat-phone instead,
0:49:22 > 0:49:24which is great.
0:49:24 > 0:49:26Hearing your wife's voice, speaking to the kids.
0:49:29 > 0:49:31But it's really hard, too,
0:49:31 > 0:49:34you feel the distance.
0:49:36 > 0:49:38After speaking with them,
0:49:38 > 0:49:42I have to try really hard to disconnect from them again.
0:49:42 > 0:49:43Saying goodbye.
0:49:43 > 0:49:46That's the hardest,
0:49:46 > 0:49:48saying goodbye.
0:49:50 > 0:49:52# Kiss kiss, love you
0:49:52 > 0:49:55# Kiss kiss, love you
0:49:55 > 0:50:00# PS, PS, love you, love you. #
0:50:16 > 0:50:18Only ten days to curtain up.
0:50:18 > 0:50:20The stress levels are rising.
0:50:20 > 0:50:22I swear by Almighty God.
0:50:22 > 0:50:25OK, do it again, one, two, three. Just nice and easy.
0:50:25 > 0:50:29And Ray Winston, a mentor and patron of the new company,
0:50:29 > 0:50:31is here to assess their progress,
0:50:31 > 0:50:33and, I suspect, to boost morale.
0:50:33 > 0:50:35I went back to my auntie's.
0:50:35 > 0:50:39When I came in the door, I said, "Auntie, I'm a soldier."
0:50:39 > 0:50:41I was living my dream.
0:50:41 > 0:50:42Slowly.
0:50:43 > 0:50:45I swear by Almighty God,
0:50:45 > 0:50:48that I will be faithful and bear true allegiance
0:50:48 > 0:50:53to Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, her heirs and successors.
0:50:53 > 0:50:55TOGETHER: And that I will, as in duty bound,
0:50:55 > 0:50:59honestly and faithfully defend Her Majesty,
0:50:59 > 0:51:02her heirs and successors in person,
0:51:02 > 0:51:05crown and in dignity against...
0:51:05 > 0:51:06Fuck!
0:51:06 > 0:51:10..and will observe and obey all orders...
0:51:10 > 0:51:13No. No. Her Majesty...
0:51:13 > 0:51:16Guys, we've got to learn this.
0:51:16 > 0:51:18It's still dragging...
0:51:18 > 0:51:21Every production, every rehearsal period,
0:51:21 > 0:51:23has its dips and its peaks,
0:51:23 > 0:51:27and I think there could be a very tricky time this week.
0:51:27 > 0:51:30Light headedness, peeing on the carpet,
0:51:30 > 0:51:31all kinds of...
0:51:31 > 0:51:33- Line?- Loss of appetite.
0:51:33 > 0:51:36Loss of appetite, pain... shit, dark piss.
0:51:36 > 0:51:40Yeah, it's OK, Charlie, I see your point.
0:51:40 > 0:51:41The meds...
0:51:41 > 0:51:46No, the drugs don't fucking work.
0:51:46 > 0:51:49Oi, you lot, get fell in.
0:51:50 > 0:51:52This is Crabby's big scene.
0:51:52 > 0:51:54He's been struggling with his lines
0:51:54 > 0:51:56and the West End is looming.
0:51:56 > 0:51:58Stand up straight.
0:51:58 > 0:52:01- You, stop looking at me funny. - Sorry, Serg.- Serg?
0:52:01 > 0:52:04Would you like to massage... No.
0:52:04 > 0:52:07Would you like me to massage your... no.
0:52:07 > 0:52:10LAUGHTER
0:52:11 > 0:52:14- Do serg again.- Sorry, serg.
0:52:14 > 0:52:17Would you like me to massage your passage with my sausage?
0:52:17 > 0:52:19Got it the wrong way round anyway.
0:52:19 > 0:52:22Right, and you lot, you, get a haircut.
0:52:22 > 0:52:25You, fucking sit up straight.
0:52:25 > 0:52:27Oi, dribbly chops, you stop dribbling.
0:52:27 > 0:52:30And you, think you're funny, sonny boy,
0:52:30 > 0:52:32well, I'll soon show you that.
0:52:35 > 0:52:38# You will not call me mate
0:52:38 > 0:52:40# I am not your friend
0:52:40 > 0:52:43# You will not call me sir
0:52:43 > 0:52:45# I am not your friend
0:52:45 > 0:52:47# You'll call me bombadier
0:52:47 > 0:52:49# Look at me in fear
0:52:49 > 0:52:52# No matter how sweet I may appear
0:52:52 > 0:52:54# I am not your mate... #
0:52:54 > 0:52:59COMPANY JOINS SINGING
0:53:16 > 0:53:19DIRECTOR ISSUES INSTRUCTIONS
0:53:24 > 0:53:28RAY WINSTONE: Is it teatime? Teatime. I can get a nice cup of tea.
0:53:30 > 0:53:33- What do you think so far then? - Oh, it's fucking great.
0:53:33 > 0:53:35It is really great. It's just a matter now
0:53:35 > 0:53:39just learning the rest of the words, being comfortable with the words
0:53:39 > 0:53:41and then performing, you know.
0:53:41 > 0:53:44But where they are in this, it's just fantastic, and the writing's great.
0:53:44 > 0:53:46- It is, isn't it? - I think it's brilliant.
0:53:46 > 0:53:47I'm actually very excited.
0:53:49 > 0:53:50Cup of tea time.
0:53:52 > 0:53:54Anyone got a fag?
0:53:54 > 0:53:57Anyone got any cigarettes? I nick a fag off someone.
0:53:57 > 0:53:59Oh, you're a governor.
0:53:59 > 0:54:02I would suggest the next two nights just, all of you,
0:54:02 > 0:54:06just go home and just go through the lines, go through the lines.
0:54:06 > 0:54:09Once you know them, then you can really fuck about with them, you know.
0:54:09 > 0:54:11And relax, cos it's brilliant.
0:54:11 > 0:54:14The writing's really good and all. The fucking writing's great.
0:54:16 > 0:54:19When you takes the drugs, how does it affect you remembering your lines
0:54:19 > 0:54:21and things like that?
0:54:21 > 0:54:25It's only, it's only a small part I can't remember. Two paragraphs.
0:54:25 > 0:54:27- Yeah, all right. - The rest of it I can remember.
0:54:27 > 0:54:29Right, but that will fix it?
0:54:29 > 0:54:31What I'm doing tomorrow, is I'm going to lay right off them.
0:54:31 > 0:54:33I'll be in agony and I'll be a twat.
0:54:33 > 0:54:36But you know them. It's just the drug that takes it away from you, yeah.
0:54:36 > 0:54:39I'm just going to try and man up tomorrow.
0:54:39 > 0:54:43You are a man. What are you talking about? Look at you! Look at you!
0:54:43 > 0:54:48SLOW, MELODIC MUSIC PLAYS
0:54:54 > 0:54:55It's a weird double feeling, isn't it?
0:54:55 > 0:54:58There's one part of me that can't wait to get to the Sunday night.
0:54:58 > 0:55:01Can't wait to see the lights come up and hear the audience coming in.
0:55:01 > 0:55:03And there's the other part of me
0:55:03 > 0:55:06that's absolutely shitting myself and wishing that we had another...
0:55:06 > 0:55:08another two months.
0:55:10 > 0:55:14- Can I say something before I go? Do you mind?- Of course. Absolutely.
0:55:14 > 0:55:16Listen up, boys.
0:55:16 > 0:55:19Chaps and girls. Very proud of what you've done today.
0:55:19 > 0:55:23I've seen something really... and I'm so up, I can't tell you. It's fantastic.
0:55:23 > 0:55:27But do me one favour. Right. And you can see it.
0:55:27 > 0:55:29When you know your lines,
0:55:29 > 0:55:32when you really know them, and you perform, you're fantastic.
0:55:32 > 0:55:35And when you see the eyes go dead when you're forgetting them,
0:55:35 > 0:55:39that's when you're losing the performance. And it's this time now.
0:55:39 > 0:55:42Right now, is when you've got to know your lines.
0:55:42 > 0:55:46Right. Because if you don't know your lines, you're letting your mate down.
0:55:46 > 0:55:50And this is a team. Just like it is in the Army, in the forces,
0:55:50 > 0:55:53this is a team. So do yourself a favour,
0:55:53 > 0:55:56do your mates a favour, go home and learn.
0:55:56 > 0:55:59I'm scared, I'm nervous. You know.
0:55:59 > 0:56:02It's a lot easier to storm a compound.
0:56:04 > 0:56:07It's, um... I'm nervous.
0:56:07 > 0:56:10There's a lot of responsibility.
0:56:10 > 0:56:13We have a lot of responsibility on that stage.
0:56:14 > 0:56:18It's not actually just, you know, the British forces we're representing,
0:56:18 > 0:56:21we're representing, kind of, all NATO forces,
0:56:21 > 0:56:25and everybody who's ever been involved in any conflict.
0:56:25 > 0:56:27It's a huge responsibility and that weight
0:56:27 > 0:56:30is starting to get on everybody's shoulder and so we go, you know,
0:56:30 > 0:56:33we're starting to band together and put our arms around each other
0:56:33 > 0:56:36so that... that weight doesn't feel like,
0:56:36 > 0:56:38well, as infinite as it actually is.
0:56:39 > 0:56:43You know, one minute, I'm in Afghan, the next minute I'm on the West End.
0:56:43 > 0:56:46So, the contrast is unreal.
0:56:49 > 0:56:50Yeah, it's craziness.
0:56:50 > 0:56:53There's no reason why I accepted to do this.
0:56:53 > 0:56:57It's just the sheer craziness of...
0:56:57 > 0:57:01oh, yeah, do you want to do this acting in front of 800 people
0:57:01 > 0:57:02on a West End stage?
0:57:05 > 0:57:08When I tell people, they're like, "No way!"
0:57:08 > 0:57:11And it's like, "Yeah, I'm going to."
0:57:11 > 0:57:14No, no, it won't happen, no. You'll bottle it, you won't do it.
0:57:14 > 0:57:16Yeah, I will trust me. It's going to be good.
0:57:18 > 0:57:20Look at that.
0:57:27 > 0:57:29God, that brings back memories.
0:57:46 > 0:57:49There are now only six days to go.
0:57:52 > 0:57:55I'm actually quite looking forward to it.
0:57:55 > 0:57:59A little bit nervous but 70% excited, about 30% nervous.
0:58:01 > 0:58:04It felt we were never going to move out of Brixton and now we're here.
0:58:04 > 0:58:07It's exciting. That is terrifying.
0:58:08 > 0:58:12You know when you meet like a really, really, really hot chick
0:58:12 > 0:58:14and you get a date?
0:58:14 > 0:58:17You're not sure if you're looking forward to it or you're scared,
0:58:17 > 0:58:21cos she's really hot, may be a little out of your league, so you're like "Oh, fuck! Oh, my God,
0:58:21 > 0:58:22"I've got to make sure I do this right
0:58:22 > 0:58:25"or I'll not get a second chance at this."
0:58:25 > 0:58:27That's kind of how I feel like. Yeah.
0:58:27 > 0:58:29That's kind of what I feel like.
0:58:29 > 0:58:33This is a really actory camp thing to say, and some of you will say,
0:58:33 > 0:58:35"What the fuck is he talking about?"
0:58:35 > 0:58:37But if you imagine that your heads
0:58:37 > 0:58:41and your thoughts are as big as this space.
0:58:42 > 0:58:43Quite empty!
0:58:43 > 0:58:46LAUGHTER
0:58:46 > 0:58:48Well, good, Dan! Spot on, mate.
0:58:48 > 0:58:50But all I'm saying is that in the rehearsal room
0:58:50 > 0:58:54it was kind of, you know, it was absolutely human space.
0:58:54 > 0:58:57We're in a bigger void now, OK.
0:58:57 > 0:59:00That leads me to another really important point.
0:59:01 > 0:59:04The way this show works, why it's so different,
0:59:04 > 0:59:07why it's so remarkable, why it's so unique,
0:59:07 > 0:59:12is because it's your voices as soldiers, telling your stories.
0:59:12 > 0:59:14The danger, let me warn you,
0:59:14 > 0:59:17is as you become more familiar with what
0:59:17 > 0:59:20you are doing you think, "Oh, I can now start acting.
0:59:20 > 0:59:23"I can now start pretending to be somebody else I'm not."
0:59:23 > 0:59:26That completely defeats the point of the show.
0:59:26 > 0:59:29You have to be yourselves.
0:59:29 > 0:59:32The big ask is for the people who are the professional actors,
0:59:32 > 0:59:34who are not soldiers, to blend with you.
0:59:34 > 0:59:36It's not about you coming up to them,
0:59:36 > 0:59:39it's about them blending to what you're doing, OK?
0:59:39 > 0:59:41So the audience will think was that a real soldier?
0:59:41 > 0:59:44Was that person a real soldier, or were they an actor?
0:59:44 > 0:59:49So look, what we should do, guys, is stand by
0:59:49 > 0:59:51to go into the common room,
0:59:51 > 0:59:53so where does the bed come from,
0:59:53 > 0:59:56where do your chairs come from? Get yourselves sorted out,
0:59:56 > 0:59:58work out where those positions will be.
0:59:59 > 1:00:02It's the first rehearsal on stage,
1:00:02 > 1:00:05but as so often with Bravo 22 Company,
1:00:05 > 1:00:08there are complications.
1:00:08 > 1:00:10I woke up this morning and I can't...
1:00:10 > 1:00:15I'm not really passing urine and I think my super-pubic catheter
1:00:15 > 1:00:17which is in me stomach, is blocked.
1:00:17 > 1:00:20That's my main problem, just to get it like flushed out
1:00:20 > 1:00:23or get it changed as soon as possible, and just crack on.
1:00:25 > 1:00:26Is Liam with us?
1:00:26 > 1:00:28I don't see him.
1:00:30 > 1:00:31Liam!
1:00:31 > 1:00:35Well, where is he? He's not on stage. I need him on stage now.
1:00:35 > 1:00:37Of course we're here in the theatre,
1:00:37 > 1:00:41but some of the old problems are still dogging us.
1:00:41 > 1:00:43Jack has just been really sick outside,
1:00:43 > 1:00:46he's in lots of pain because he hurt his stump last week.
1:00:46 > 1:00:50He was in hospital over the weekend. Liam isn't here.
1:00:50 > 1:00:53Apparently he's about to arrive but you know,
1:00:53 > 1:00:57so... those other issues that you wouldn't normally be coping with
1:00:57 > 1:00:59in a normal production,
1:00:59 > 1:01:02we are still having to cope with.
1:01:03 > 1:01:08"He is here," doesn't work unless I see him.
1:01:08 > 1:01:10Alice, look, I don't hang one on
1:01:10 > 1:01:14but there's nothing to worry about, it's fine.
1:01:14 > 1:01:15I'm here now.
1:01:15 > 1:01:19Liam is hungover. He's been up all night drinking.
1:01:19 > 1:01:22He's making his excuses to Alice, the producer.
1:01:22 > 1:01:26Obviously, obviously, alcohol is something I have to deal with myself.
1:01:26 > 1:01:28'You've got a whole company around...'
1:01:28 > 1:01:30I know I've got a whole company
1:01:30 > 1:01:32but it still don't stop me from going out
1:01:32 > 1:01:34and, obviously, losing my mind, does it?
1:01:34 > 1:01:39- Is Liam around there?- Er, no. He's upstairs in his changing room.
1:01:39 > 1:01:40Upstairs, yeah?
1:01:42 > 1:01:45OK, who's missed their entrance?
1:01:45 > 1:01:48Come on, guys, let's get our shit together, come on!
1:01:48 > 1:01:51If one of you's not there the whole thing is fucked up.
1:01:51 > 1:01:54Honestly, this show, obviously, means a lot to me, more...
1:01:54 > 1:01:57- more than you can imagine really. - 'I know it does...'
1:01:57 > 1:01:59Look, I know it's my downfall,
1:01:59 > 1:02:02but it's what the show is all about, isn't it?
1:02:02 > 1:02:03'Yeah, I know...'
1:02:03 > 1:02:06Honestly, mate, if there's anything else that we can do to help,
1:02:06 > 1:02:08you know, just let us know,
1:02:08 > 1:02:11cos, as you said, it is about what this whole play's about
1:02:11 > 1:02:15but at this, you know, we're here to help.
1:02:15 > 1:02:17Let me just flush this play out.
1:02:17 > 1:02:21Guys, we will go back to the beginning of this, so off you go again.
1:02:21 > 1:02:25Finally, an hour late, Liam makes it to the stage.
1:02:25 > 1:02:28So, same spot, Jamie. Thank you, mate.
1:02:28 > 1:02:32Taff, going into Liam, please. Thank you, here we go...
1:02:32 > 1:02:34It's not the first time he's gone missing.
1:02:34 > 1:02:37Struggling with post-traumatic stress,
1:02:37 > 1:02:39Liam's been finding solace in drink.
1:02:39 > 1:02:42..just walk into it...
1:02:42 > 1:02:45I'll just go out on the piss all day. I don't give a fuck.
1:02:45 > 1:02:47Then I'll get wound up by something small
1:02:47 > 1:02:50and I'll just want to smash something up...or someone.
1:02:50 > 1:02:52Only when you drink?
1:02:52 > 1:02:53Drink makes it worse.
1:02:53 > 1:02:57The anger's there all the time. There's little images, like...
1:02:59 > 1:03:03..fucking, I don't know, when an IED blew my mate's hands off.
1:03:03 > 1:03:05The look in his eyes...
1:03:05 > 1:03:08There's a growing concern that Liam, living out his part,
1:03:08 > 1:03:11could put the whole show at risk.
1:03:11 > 1:03:14I'm aware that the play is actually causing things to resurface
1:03:14 > 1:03:18and also he's having a hard time, I think, erm...in his personal life.
1:03:18 > 1:03:19So I understand that but...
1:03:19 > 1:03:22so many good things are happening with this production now,
1:03:22 > 1:03:24we can't allow one person to jeopardize it.
1:03:24 > 1:03:28Also he's got his sister's wedding tomorrow, after the dress rehearsal,
1:03:28 > 1:03:31and, I mean, I'm now just personally worried about,
1:03:31 > 1:03:36you know, he needs to turn up sharp and focused on Sunday at 2.30.
1:03:38 > 1:03:41I will definitely be back Saturday night.
1:03:42 > 1:03:44Early night, ready for Sunday morning.
1:03:44 > 1:03:47You going to say on the orange juice, or what?
1:03:47 > 1:03:51I may have a couple of beers but nothing like I did last night.
1:03:53 > 1:03:57Yeah, it's unfortunate that he couldn't make it on time this morning
1:03:57 > 1:03:59and, after all, in the Corp we do pride ourselves on, you know,
1:03:59 > 1:04:04being where you're supposed to be when you're supposed to be there, with what you're supposed to have,
1:04:04 > 1:04:07but, at the end of the day, you know, he's got demons that he's got to battle with.
1:04:07 > 1:04:11Combat exhaustion. Shell shock...
1:04:11 > 1:04:13The reality is, is that everybody wants to say,
1:04:13 > 1:04:15"Yeah, yeah it's terrible not showing up when he does,"
1:04:15 > 1:04:19but the reality is, is that if he wasn't doing what he was doing would he be here at all?
1:04:19 > 1:04:22In the sense that, you know, would he even show up?
1:04:22 > 1:04:25So, if this is what he has to do to keep himself together
1:04:25 > 1:04:27then fucking A, Royal, do what you've got to do
1:04:27 > 1:04:29but just, you know, get the job done.
1:04:29 > 1:04:31He's got a wedding on Saturday.
1:04:31 > 1:04:34Oh, fuck!
1:04:34 > 1:04:36- HE LAUGHS - Jesus. Oh!
1:04:36 > 1:04:38'..combat stress reaction,'
1:04:38 > 1:04:42post-combat disorder, post-war disorder,
1:04:42 > 1:04:45post-traumatic illness, post-traumatic disorder...
1:04:48 > 1:04:50..post-traumatic stress disorder.
1:04:57 > 1:04:59- I need Cass and Sam. - I'm here, buddy!
1:04:59 > 1:05:01- Good.- Here...
1:05:01 > 1:05:04Our producer's been off for the last couple of days,
1:05:04 > 1:05:06sick with something rather unpleasant,
1:05:06 > 1:05:09and it seems that she may...
1:05:09 > 1:05:11may have infected a couple of the company members before she left!
1:05:11 > 1:05:14- There's a slight irony there. - Yes, indeed, there is.
1:05:14 > 1:05:17My eyes are killing me, my nose is blocked,
1:05:17 > 1:05:21my throat is killing me and my body just feels drained.
1:05:21 > 1:05:26My head's pounding, my stomach's...not feeling great.
1:05:26 > 1:05:29I keep coughing...up puke, which isn't very nice.
1:05:31 > 1:05:35- How much do you think I'm going to be sick?- A bucketful! THEY LAUGH
1:05:35 > 1:05:38They do say there is this expression, "doctor theatre,"
1:05:38 > 1:05:41that people will pull through, but we'll just have to see.
1:05:41 > 1:05:44I mean, I can't have people throwing up on stage, that wouldn't be right.
1:05:45 > 1:05:47HE RETCHES VIOLENTLY
1:05:53 > 1:05:55HE RETCHES VIOLENTLY
1:05:56 > 1:06:00I just helped to carry out a bucket which had sick leaking from the bottom of it
1:06:00 > 1:06:03and then we had to wash it on the street
1:06:03 > 1:06:05but I think Dan, I think he'll carry on,
1:06:05 > 1:06:07I think he's going to do it, so...
1:06:07 > 1:06:08- ALL:- My weapon, myself!
1:06:08 > 1:06:12# Ba-da-bom-bom-bom! # Salute. OK, hold it.
1:06:12 > 1:06:15So, Colin, we've got some horrible bass rumbling
1:06:15 > 1:06:16going on at the bottom of that...
1:06:16 > 1:06:19I just thought, "I've got a bag of drugs here."
1:06:19 > 1:06:22Apparently Lyndon's been ill,
1:06:22 > 1:06:29so we've got Lemsips, Strepsils, Ibroprufen, Dioralyte, erm...
1:06:29 > 1:06:35If anyone has felt as awful as I felt then they need lots of drugs.
1:06:36 > 1:06:42An hour or so later, Dan, always a trooper, prepares to go on stage.
1:06:42 > 1:06:44- My weapon, myself! - My weapon, myself!
1:06:44 > 1:06:46- My weapon, myself! ALL:- My weapon, myself!
1:06:49 > 1:06:51EXPLOSION BOOMS
1:06:54 > 1:06:56FUCK, are you all right, mate?
1:06:56 > 1:06:57Yeah, yeah, I'm good.
1:06:57 > 1:06:59Yeah, you fucking look it, mate(!)
1:06:59 > 1:07:02You're going to be all right, mate. You're going to be all right.
1:07:02 > 1:07:05- Oh, fuck! Oh, FUCK! - HE SCREAMS
1:07:05 > 1:07:08You're going to be fine, you're going to be fine.
1:07:08 > 1:07:11You've still got your balls, mate, they're still there.
1:07:11 > 1:07:13I'm going to fucking die. Give me a FUCKING cigarette!
1:07:13 > 1:07:15You are not going to die.
1:07:15 > 1:07:18I can't give you a fag, mate, I can't....
1:07:18 > 1:07:21'I feel a little bit better, though, I feel a little bit better.'
1:07:21 > 1:07:25Alice just keeps giving me loads of drugs, so, you know.
1:07:25 > 1:07:27I know I'm getting a little bit better.
1:07:27 > 1:07:29My headache's still there, my sore throat's still here,
1:07:29 > 1:07:31I've still got a cold.
1:07:31 > 1:07:33My mouth's always dry, my body's aching,
1:07:33 > 1:07:37'but they're all saying that the being blowing up scene
1:07:37 > 1:07:39'was the best I've done so far.'
1:07:39 > 1:07:42Sorry, no, just relax there, we're just lighting it, just hold on...
1:07:42 > 1:07:45Whilst Dan is upping one sort of medication,
1:07:45 > 1:07:49most of the cast, already on a cocktail of pain-killing drugs,
1:07:49 > 1:07:53are having to reduce their intake to keep their heads clear for the show.
1:07:53 > 1:07:56..make it two. OK, lights will go down much quicker, here we go, guys.
1:07:56 > 1:07:58Just go back a cue.
1:07:58 > 1:08:01Just in time for round two.
1:08:01 > 1:08:02Slower.
1:08:02 > 1:08:05# Codeine, tramadol, Ventolin
1:08:05 > 1:08:09# Paracetamol, LSD... #
1:08:09 > 1:08:14'The Paracetamol's obviously a very effective pain killer, sudamenafin.'
1:08:14 > 1:08:19Erm, the ranitidine, again, protects the stomach from the diclofenac,
1:08:19 > 1:08:22which is non-steroidal anti-inflammatory,
1:08:22 > 1:08:24and tramadol is a synthetic opiate.
1:08:24 > 1:08:28Erm, pregabalin, that's for nerve pain,
1:08:28 > 1:08:34to do with my back and, obviously, phantom pain.
1:08:35 > 1:08:37# ..paracetamol, LSD... #
1:08:37 > 1:08:40'I cut my medication in half for the performance
1:08:40 > 1:08:45'cos I didn't want to, you know, a medically-induced coma on stage!'
1:08:45 > 1:08:47'So it's a little bit more discomfort'
1:08:47 > 1:08:49but I can live with it and that's, kind of, healthier
1:08:49 > 1:08:54than putting this colossal amount of pharmaceuticals into my body.
1:08:55 > 1:08:58'If you get the right combination of drugs right
1:08:58 > 1:09:02there shouldn't be a disruption and that's the fucking goal.
1:09:02 > 1:09:05'And I should be able to take the drugs that I need to take,'
1:09:05 > 1:09:09drive, I should be able to go for a run...ish.
1:09:09 > 1:09:12I should be able to drink - well, not really
1:09:12 > 1:09:16but I should just be able to live normally, function normally
1:09:16 > 1:09:18'and not feel any discomfort.
1:09:18 > 1:09:20'And as my body gets used to the discomfort,
1:09:20 > 1:09:23'I slowly reduce the drugs and the next thing you know,'
1:09:23 > 1:09:26the only I'm missing is a leg! Ha!
1:09:34 > 1:09:37OK. Dan, just hold that...
1:09:37 > 1:09:40hold the jazz hands for just a beat longer, to the music...
1:09:40 > 1:09:42'I thought the guys did a really, really good job'
1:09:42 > 1:09:44in that, in that dress.
1:09:44 > 1:09:46People like Dan - I mean, he's feeling terrible I know.
1:09:46 > 1:09:51I mean, I had the bug he's got now and he REALLY performed well.
1:09:51 > 1:09:54'The technical staff now, actually, has to meet our cast.
1:09:54 > 1:09:58'No-one's fault, we could do with another week, you know.'
1:09:58 > 1:10:02But isn't it amazing that I'm worrying about technical dramatic detail
1:10:02 > 1:10:04with a bunch of guys I met two and a half months ago
1:10:04 > 1:10:07- who...were squaddies?- Absolutely.
1:10:07 > 1:10:11- Mate... I know you're going to this wedding.- Yes.
1:10:11 > 1:10:15Please, priorities are that you are here 12 o'clock tomorrow...
1:10:15 > 1:10:17compos mentis...
1:10:17 > 1:10:18Sober.
1:10:18 > 1:10:20Sober, not hungover.
1:10:20 > 1:10:23Please, just, you know, next 24 hours, really important.
1:10:23 > 1:10:25Really important for the company, mate, all right?
1:10:25 > 1:10:29- Yeah, I'll be here sober.- On record. All right, OK, good, take care.
1:10:29 > 1:10:31- Have a good time!- OK.
1:10:31 > 1:10:33See you, Liam. Be good!
1:10:49 > 1:10:54'The time is now ten to one on the morning of January 22nd,'
1:10:54 > 1:10:57so we're already on the day of the Bravo 22 performance,
1:10:57 > 1:11:00and I'm just here at the Union Jack Club, erm,
1:11:00 > 1:11:02waiting for Liam to come back from his sister's wedding.
1:11:02 > 1:11:07I wouldn't necessarily say that this is normally the writer's job...
1:11:07 > 1:11:11but because so much is at stake for...so many people...
1:11:12 > 1:11:14..you know, it's just...
1:11:14 > 1:11:17I think...it does no harm just to really make sure
1:11:17 > 1:11:20that, erm, Liam gets his beauty sleep.
1:11:27 > 1:11:28How you doing?
1:11:28 > 1:11:30Yeah, it was really good actually.
1:11:30 > 1:11:31- Good.- I'm back!
1:11:31 > 1:11:34- Well, done, mate.- It's very, very good to see you back.
1:11:34 > 1:11:36Yeah, cab's going to try and park his car.
1:11:36 > 1:11:38- How was it, how was it? - I'm back, mate.
1:11:38 > 1:11:40I've been to the wedding, now I'm back.
1:11:41 > 1:11:44Sleep well, sleep well. I'll see you tomorrow morning.
1:11:44 > 1:11:47Everyone should have had more faith in me.
1:11:47 > 1:11:50Thank you for being here.
1:11:50 > 1:11:53Owen, come on. You could always believe in me.
1:11:53 > 1:11:57I know. I never doubted you, never doubted you!
1:11:57 > 1:11:59- I'll see you bright and early.- Yeah.
1:12:09 > 1:12:11Look, this is what we've been working for
1:12:11 > 1:12:14for two months, you know? This is it! The day has arrived.
1:12:14 > 1:12:16So I just want you to go out there...
1:12:16 > 1:12:20- I am so proud of all of you, you've done FANTASTICALLY. - I'm proud of you, Steve.
1:12:20 > 1:12:22- No, thanks, mate. Thank you. - THEY ALL LAUGH
1:12:22 > 1:12:24But no you've done fantastically.
1:12:24 > 1:12:27And all I want you to do is do yourselves justice today, OK?
1:12:27 > 1:12:29But go out there and slay 'em!
1:12:29 > 1:12:30THEY CHEER AND APPLAUD
1:12:30 > 1:12:33'Good evening, ladies and gents, of the Bravo 22 Company,'
1:12:33 > 1:12:36this is your half our call, you have 30 minutes,
1:12:36 > 1:12:39'this is your half hour call you have 30 minutes. Thank you.'
1:12:39 > 1:12:43'I don't think I would be any more ready than I am.
1:12:43 > 1:12:46'It's here now, this is it, so...'
1:12:46 > 1:12:52whatever is to be still done, I think the stage will do it for me.
1:12:52 > 1:12:54Dan, just very quickly, how are you feeling today?
1:12:54 > 1:12:55I feel better.
1:12:55 > 1:12:59Erm, my headache's gone, my eyes are back to normal,
1:12:59 > 1:13:03I didn't put my contacts in because I didn't want to irritate them.
1:13:03 > 1:13:07Cold's gone down a little bit but I still have a sore throat.
1:13:08 > 1:13:10I went to bed last night
1:13:10 > 1:13:14praying that Liam would come back from his wedding.
1:13:14 > 1:13:16I got a text through at, well, one something,
1:13:16 > 1:13:18saying he was there, which was good, so that's great.
1:13:18 > 1:13:20And then I woke up this morning and felt a bit numb,
1:13:20 > 1:13:24and then I got in the taxi and started explaining what I was doing and started to cry!
1:13:27 > 1:13:30'Good evening, ladies and gentlemen of the Bravo 22 Company.
1:13:30 > 1:13:33'This is your five minute call, you have five minutes. Thank you.'
1:13:33 > 1:13:37Here we go! Let's take it!
1:13:38 > 1:13:41'If this goes off in a really, really good direction,'
1:13:41 > 1:13:44then I've got no problems publicly thanking the Taliban
1:13:44 > 1:13:48for taking my leg and giving me an opportunity to get on the West End!
1:13:53 > 1:13:56'Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Will you please take your seats?
1:13:56 > 1:13:58'This evening's performance is about to begin.'
1:14:09 > 1:14:11SINISTER MUSIC
1:14:19 > 1:14:21HELCOPTER HUMMING
1:14:25 > 1:14:27EXPLOSION BOOMS
1:14:32 > 1:14:34HEART MONITOR BEEPING
1:14:45 > 1:14:46What's your name?
1:14:47 > 1:14:49Fuck you.
1:14:49 > 1:14:50You're in Birmingham, in hospital...
1:14:50 > 1:14:54- Fuck off, you Taliban bitch. - Can you remember your name?- HELP!
1:14:54 > 1:14:57- SHOUTS: Help me, I'm in here! - You're in Selly Oak Hospital.
1:14:57 > 1:15:00- Help me, please. I'm a British soldier!- Can you remember your name?
1:15:00 > 1:15:03Help me! ANA. ANA.
1:15:03 > 1:15:07HELP! Help me, over here. Help me, please!
1:15:07 > 1:15:09Radio my position!
1:15:09 > 1:15:11Ahh-ha-ha!
1:15:11 > 1:15:15# I'm Henry the eighth, I am. HE SOBS
1:15:15 > 1:15:19# Henry the eighth I am, I am
1:15:19 > 1:15:21# I got married to the... #
1:15:21 > 1:15:24You fucking traitor.
1:15:24 > 1:15:26You fucking turncoat! When I tell your fucking...
1:15:26 > 1:15:29'PO 56 zero 85 Mike.'
1:15:29 > 1:15:31Corporal Charles Fallon, aged 27.
1:15:31 > 1:15:35B Company, 22 Commando, Royal Marines.
1:15:35 > 1:15:40Injured in Nadiali North, on the 28th May, 2011...
1:15:40 > 1:15:4625 zero 44 898, Rifleman Leroy Jenkins, aged 20, fourth Battalion...
1:15:46 > 1:15:48Ninth Parachute Squadron, Royal Engineers...
1:15:48 > 1:15:50P zero 63703 Golf...
1:15:50 > 1:15:53Lance Corporal Chris Brown, aged 21, Coldstream Guards...
1:15:53 > 1:15:57251 zero 8692, Sgt...
1:15:57 > 1:16:02SHOUTS: Oi, you lot, get fell in! Don't be scared of a fucking line.
1:16:03 > 1:16:06Oi, you, you scraggy little shit, put that fucking fag out.
1:16:06 > 1:16:08You, stand up straight.
1:16:08 > 1:16:11Oi, put your fucking hoodie down, you're in a new gang now.
1:16:11 > 1:16:14- Pinkie and Perky, put that fucking phone away.- Sorry, Serg.
1:16:14 > 1:16:15Serg?
1:16:16 > 1:16:20Serg? Would you like me to massage your passage with my sausage?
1:16:20 > 1:16:22I'm a bombardier, shitlips.
1:16:22 > 1:16:25And what are you fucking laughing at?
1:16:25 > 1:16:27You, get a haircut.
1:16:27 > 1:16:29You, go to Specsavers.
1:16:29 > 1:16:31You think I'm fucking funny, do you?
1:16:31 > 1:16:34We'll see about that, sonny boy, won't we?
1:16:35 > 1:16:43# I sing because I'm happy
1:16:43 > 1:16:50# I sing because I'm free
1:16:50 > 1:17:00# For his eyes are over all of us
1:17:00 > 1:17:08# And I know he watches me... #
1:17:10 > 1:17:13# Feel the burn, enjoy the pain
1:17:13 > 1:17:18- # Feel the burn! - Pain is pleasure, tell your brain
1:17:18 > 1:17:19# Feel the burn!
1:17:19 > 1:17:24- # You're alive so pain is gain - Feel the burn! #
1:17:24 > 1:17:26'When I was seven I had a dream.'
1:17:26 > 1:17:28I was going to live where the Queen lived
1:17:28 > 1:17:30and I was going to be a soldier.
1:17:30 > 1:17:34I had seen her when she came for Independence day.
1:17:34 > 1:17:37We all were lining the streets of San Fernando waving
1:17:37 > 1:17:39and she waved back.
1:17:39 > 1:17:43She had on a pink hat and a matching suit.
1:17:43 > 1:17:47As she was waving I was shouting,
1:17:47 > 1:17:52"I'm going to live where you live. I'm going to live where you live."
1:17:52 > 1:17:56We'd always be watching the atmospherics.
1:17:56 > 1:17:58You see the women and children start to leave,
1:17:58 > 1:18:00or some bloke might be dicking you.
1:18:00 > 1:18:02We'd go for them straight away.
1:18:02 > 1:18:05On my second tour we never saw them. Not once.
1:18:05 > 1:18:07It was like fighting ghosts.
1:18:07 > 1:18:11You might see a muzzle flash or a puff of smoke but that's all.
1:18:11 > 1:18:13When we did night ops,
1:18:13 > 1:18:17sometimes they'd communicate by howling like animals, like dogs.
1:18:17 > 1:18:19That could be pretty scary.
1:18:19 > 1:18:20EXPLOSIONS AND GUNFIRE
1:18:26 > 1:18:31When we leave Afghan a little bit of Afghan stays with us.
1:18:31 > 1:18:33Or us with it.
1:18:34 > 1:18:37MUSIC: "Hope There's Someone" By Antony and the Johnsons
1:19:32 > 1:19:35# And godsend I don't want to go
1:19:35 > 1:19:42# To the seal's watershed
1:19:43 > 1:19:46# Hope there's someone Who'll take care of me... #
1:19:46 > 1:19:49Yeah, we're leaving the services,
1:19:49 > 1:19:53but we're also joining one of the oldest regiments there is.
1:19:53 > 1:19:56The Regiment of the Wounded.
1:19:56 > 1:19:59It's got an illustrious history that goes back to the beginning
1:19:59 > 1:20:03of mankind and you may not be familiar with all its victories,
1:20:03 > 1:20:05but take my word for it, there's thousands.
1:20:07 > 1:20:09Millions, even.
1:20:09 > 1:20:13And they're winning every day in hospitals, in streets,
1:20:13 > 1:20:16in bedrooms, living rooms.
1:20:16 > 1:20:17Up here.
1:20:19 > 1:20:25And the regimental rank and file are recruited from all over the world.
1:20:25 > 1:20:30Britain, America, Canada, Africa, Iraq, Afghanistan.
1:20:30 > 1:20:33Men, women, children and it's growing.
1:20:35 > 1:20:37Even now as we speak it's growing.
1:20:37 > 1:20:40And as long as we keep fighting, it's going to keep growing,
1:20:40 > 1:20:43but it's deploying too.
1:20:43 > 1:20:45Not to a battlefield or a base,
1:20:45 > 1:20:51but well, to you out there.
1:20:53 > 1:20:56We've been training for that deployment.
1:20:56 > 1:20:59We've been getting ready for it, and now you know, we are.
1:21:01 > 1:21:04And we really hope that you are too.
1:21:04 > 1:21:07Cos we don't live in two worlds, do we?
1:21:12 > 1:21:19No, no, we live in one and don't you ever forget it.
1:21:40 > 1:21:46CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
1:21:56 > 1:22:01CHEERING
1:22:08 > 1:22:10SPEECH DROWNED BY CHEERS
1:22:37 > 1:22:41THEY CHEER
1:22:42 > 1:22:47INDISTINCT CHATTER
1:22:53 > 1:22:57CHEERING AND CHATTER
1:23:02 > 1:23:03A smash.
1:23:03 > 1:23:05- I'm coming.- It's great.
1:23:05 > 1:23:07Fantastic.
1:23:07 > 1:23:09So brilliant.
1:23:10 > 1:23:13I'm very happy that that's done now!
1:23:13 > 1:23:14THEY LAUGH
1:23:14 > 1:23:16All right, everybody, get on the drink now!
1:23:16 > 1:23:18I can't! I'm driving!
1:23:18 > 1:23:22I'm so proud of you, guys. Excellent.
1:23:22 > 1:23:26We've just walked out of it, so I'm pretty much unable to speak.
1:23:26 > 1:23:28It was incredibly moving.
1:23:28 > 1:23:30And incredibly important for us in the audience,
1:23:30 > 1:23:35us civilians, to understand what actually is going on in our name.
1:23:35 > 1:23:38What our... what our military are doing for us.
1:23:38 > 1:23:41It was very, very funny, very, very touching
1:23:41 > 1:23:44and I think everybody should see it.
1:23:46 > 1:23:49It would be a real shame if this died now.
1:23:49 > 1:23:52It's... everybody on this side of the curtain,
1:23:52 > 1:23:55I don't know what's going on, I can't see what's going on out there
1:23:55 > 1:23:59right now, but everybody on this side, um, it's pretty emotional
1:23:59 > 1:24:02and it's probably the most emotion they've felt in a long time.
1:24:02 > 1:24:04It's a lot of life back here, it's good.
1:24:04 > 1:24:08It all... it makes me angry cos it's...
1:24:08 > 1:24:12there's these beautiful people going out there
1:24:12 > 1:24:14in an unwinnable situation and losing limbs and...
1:24:14 > 1:24:16and lives and...
1:24:16 > 1:24:20and minds and relationships,
1:24:20 > 1:24:23because you know, that's what destroys me.
1:24:23 > 1:24:28People come up and say to me about enjoying, did I enjoy it?
1:24:28 > 1:24:31That's not what it... I don't know, because it's you.
1:24:31 > 1:24:33It's the most...
1:24:33 > 1:24:37It's the most magnificent piece of theatre I've ever seen.
1:24:37 > 1:24:40Come here, you're going to burst out on me here. Come here.
1:24:40 > 1:24:41I was just swept away.
1:24:41 > 1:24:45I thought I was watching a professional experience.
1:24:45 > 1:24:49And yet the authenticity of what was happening was more
1:24:49 > 1:24:54extraordinary than we can ever encounter when professionals
1:24:54 > 1:24:59are talking about the subject of war and the aftermath of war.
1:24:59 > 1:25:03The authenticity of this was so, so deeply emotional.
1:25:03 > 1:25:05It was a profound experience.
1:25:05 > 1:25:08Did you enjoy yourself, love?
1:25:08 > 1:25:11Oh, darling, yes. I'm just saying I can't believe it.
1:25:11 > 1:25:14You're going to do us out of business, you know.
1:25:14 > 1:25:17More laughs than in the Carry Ons, weren't there?
1:25:17 > 1:25:19And you have got a wonderful sense of humour.
1:25:19 > 1:25:22They thought they was going into a new world in a way,
1:25:22 > 1:25:26the kind of namby-pamby world of theatre.
1:25:26 > 1:25:28I think they found out really quickly
1:25:28 > 1:25:30that it ain't like that at all.
1:25:30 > 1:25:33But they had the discipline and the bottle to go and do that.
1:25:33 > 1:25:36But the confidence they've gained over the last few weeks,
1:25:36 > 1:25:39that will stand them in good stead for the rest of their life.
1:25:39 > 1:25:42And I think that's the important thing.
1:25:42 > 1:25:45Tearful. Tearful.
1:25:45 > 1:25:49It was more than I even thought,
1:25:49 > 1:25:51more than I even dreamed about.
1:25:51 > 1:25:57My dream to me was just a dream and I'm probably, I'm living it,
1:25:57 > 1:26:00but this was never in the dream and it's...
1:26:00 > 1:26:03it's come to pass, so it's awesome, really, really, really good.
1:26:03 > 1:26:05I'm ecstatic.
1:26:05 > 1:26:08I think the boys did a fantastic job tonight, and the girls.
1:26:08 > 1:26:09I think it was...
1:26:09 > 1:26:13Oh, it was so beyond my wildest dreams of what
1:26:13 > 1:26:16they could achieve at the beginning of the process and so I...
1:26:16 > 1:26:19I just feel very, very emotional
1:26:19 > 1:26:24and no, they did a fantastic job and I'm really pleased for them.
1:26:24 > 1:26:26Really pleased for them. Thank you, Chris.
1:26:26 > 1:26:28Thank you. It's tough.
1:26:35 > 1:26:36Yeah, I mean...
1:26:37 > 1:26:38- Sorry.- Sorry.
1:26:38 > 1:26:40Go that way.
1:26:42 > 1:26:44Yeah, I mean there have been times in this
1:26:44 > 1:26:46when I wasn't sure we'd do it.
1:26:46 > 1:26:51And I can't believe that this company only formed two months ago
1:26:51 > 1:26:52for the first rehearsal.
1:26:52 > 1:26:55And I felt a massive, massive duty of care.
1:26:55 > 1:26:57I was very worried I wasn't going to be able to write something
1:26:57 > 1:26:59that would do justice to them.
1:26:59 > 1:27:02And I think I've only just now actually realised
1:27:02 > 1:27:03how stressful I found it.
1:27:03 > 1:27:06But the transformation in everyone in those two months and the way
1:27:06 > 1:27:09that they played it today is just extraordinary and honestly,
1:27:09 > 1:27:12they're sort of unrecognisable to the individuals I met.
1:27:12 > 1:27:15So yeah, I'm very, I'm very happy, very happy indeed
1:27:15 > 1:27:17and I'm hoping that this last show's actually the start of...
1:27:17 > 1:27:19is a start of something.
1:27:19 > 1:27:20Yeah. A new beginning.
1:27:20 > 1:27:23Absolutely and not the end. The beginning, yeah, I hope so.
1:27:23 > 1:27:29I am one member of a huge sold-out audience who've had an experience
1:27:29 > 1:27:33that they will never, never, never forget for the whole of their lives.
1:27:33 > 1:27:35APPLAUSE
1:27:35 > 1:27:38- I just want to say stop it at once! - LAUGHTER
1:27:38 > 1:27:41You can't take over the theatrical profession like this.
1:27:41 > 1:27:43You can't make acting look...
1:27:43 > 1:27:46You can't make acting look so fucking easy!
1:27:46 > 1:27:47LAUGHTER
1:27:47 > 1:27:48Just stop it!
1:27:48 > 1:27:50LAUGHTER
1:27:53 > 1:27:57# Hope there's someone Who'll take care of me... #
1:27:57 > 1:28:01'The Two Worlds Of Charlie F was such a resounding success
1:28:01 > 1:28:07'that it's now touring the country, starting in Birmingham on July 19th.
1:28:07 > 1:28:10'And the film version of the final play can be seen on the free
1:28:10 > 1:28:15'Digital Arts Service at thespace.org from tonight.
1:28:15 > 1:28:19'For more details go to the BBC Imagine website.'
1:28:19 > 1:28:22Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd