Monty Python: And Now for Something Rather Similar

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0:00:02 > 0:00:03- Morning. How are you? Are you OK? - Hi, hi.

0:00:03 > 0:00:08This programme contains very strong language

0:00:08 > 0:00:11I got there expecting to see "The last".

0:00:11 > 0:00:13She had "Five to go".

0:00:13 > 0:00:15'I think there's nothing more embarrassing

0:00:15 > 0:00:18'than a bunch of middle-aged old farts'

0:00:18 > 0:00:22trying to recreate the halcyon days of Python humour.

0:00:22 > 0:00:23HE SNORTS

0:00:25 > 0:00:27'I think it's probably best remember us

0:00:27 > 0:00:31'for all the good work that we did, than clamber up on stage on sort of'

0:00:31 > 0:00:33crutches and sort of medical support,

0:00:33 > 0:00:35and try and do the sketches all over again.

0:00:38 > 0:00:40'Maybe in three years' time,'

0:00:40 > 0:00:41the spirit will change

0:00:41 > 0:00:43and we'll think "We'll be dead soon, so we'll do something."

0:00:43 > 0:00:46I don't know. But not in foreseeable future.

0:00:47 > 0:00:52MONTY PYTHON THEME: "The Liberty Bell" by John Philip P Sousa

0:00:52 > 0:00:53We can't do both of those.

0:00:53 > 0:00:55- Shall we have the music first? - Music first.

0:00:55 > 0:00:56'I realised'

0:00:56 > 0:01:00that we would never, ever agree on anything ever again.

0:01:00 > 0:01:02Music first, ladies and gentlemen, Monty Python,

0:01:02 > 0:01:04- then we'll come on. Shall we try it again?- Yes.

0:01:04 > 0:01:06'It is fun to be together.'

0:01:06 > 0:01:08We do have a good time when we finally get together,

0:01:08 > 0:01:12but it's just such a nightmare getting everyone together.

0:01:12 > 0:01:13'Life's too short in the end.'

0:01:15 > 0:01:19So, 15 years ago, they were absolutely adamant

0:01:19 > 0:01:22that a reunion was completely out of the question.

0:01:25 > 0:01:27But they seem to have changed their minds.

0:01:31 > 0:01:34And now for something completely different.

0:01:34 > 0:01:37News that comedy fans have been waiting a long time to hear.

0:01:37 > 0:01:39Stay together.

0:01:39 > 0:01:42Their parrot might still be dead, but Monty Python

0:01:42 > 0:01:45is hoping to rise from the dead.

0:01:46 > 0:01:49HE SPEAKS NORWEGIAN

0:01:51 > 0:01:54CLAMOURING VOICES

0:01:55 > 0:01:59Monty Python have revealed their reunion plans.

0:01:59 > 0:02:02I am a lumberjack and I'm OK.

0:02:02 > 0:02:06Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Monty Python.

0:02:06 > 0:02:09THEY ALL TALK AT ONCE AS THEME PLAYS

0:02:11 > 0:02:13Hello, Polly?!

0:02:13 > 0:02:15Polly!

0:02:17 > 0:02:20Monty Python may well be the most successful comedy group of all time.

0:02:20 > 0:02:23Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!

0:02:23 > 0:02:25Nudge, nudge, know what I mean? Say no more, know what I mean?

0:02:25 > 0:02:27ALL: Bits of brain!

0:02:27 > 0:02:31Their surreal and very silly television show

0:02:31 > 0:02:32changed comedy for ever.

0:02:32 > 0:02:35We find that nine out of ten British housewives

0:02:35 > 0:02:39can't tell the difference between Whizzo butter and a dead crab.

0:02:39 > 0:02:43- That's very true.- No, we can't. - We can't.- No.

0:02:43 > 0:02:45Their films are still quoted in pubs

0:02:45 > 0:02:48and student common rooms the world over.

0:02:48 > 0:02:50Are you the Judean People's Front?

0:02:50 > 0:02:52- Fuck off!- What?

0:02:52 > 0:02:54Judean People's Front!

0:02:54 > 0:02:56We're the People's Front of Judea.

0:02:56 > 0:02:59# We're Knights of the Round Table... #

0:02:59 > 0:03:02They've even taken on Broadway and triumphed.

0:03:02 > 0:03:06Spamalot mania has spread to 21 countries worldwide.

0:03:06 > 0:03:08# ..eat ham and jam and spam a lot! #

0:03:09 > 0:03:15So it's small wonder the world is beside itself at news of a reunion.

0:03:15 > 0:03:16HE BLOWS WHISTLE

0:03:16 > 0:03:18My pleasure.

0:03:18 > 0:03:19But there's a lot at stake here.

0:03:19 > 0:03:24They haven't performed on stage together for over 30 years,

0:03:24 > 0:03:28and they now have a combined age of 357.

0:03:28 > 0:03:32I'm not entirely sure they can pull this off.

0:03:32 > 0:03:36And now, you've announced this is the beginning of the end.

0:03:36 > 0:03:40Basically, you're not going to be on stage again, ever, ever, ever.

0:03:40 > 0:03:44'Everybody's over 70. Some well over 70.

0:03:44 > 0:03:47'The insurance is pretty high.'

0:03:47 > 0:03:49In fact, the promoter, Phil McIntyre, said,

0:03:49 > 0:03:52"It's so much money to ensure you guys."

0:03:52 > 0:03:56I said, "Well, why don't you just insure it so two of us have to die?"

0:03:56 > 0:04:00And then, if one of us dies, it's a tribute to them.

0:04:00 > 0:04:02HE LAUGHS

0:04:02 > 0:04:04So two have to die before we get our money back.

0:04:04 > 0:04:07MONTY PYTHON THEME PLAYS ON ACCORDION

0:04:25 > 0:04:28And on BBC One now, Ethel the frog.

0:04:39 > 0:04:41Full speed ahead, Mr Cohen!

0:04:44 > 0:04:46And now for something completely different.

0:04:46 > 0:04:48The comedy troupe Monty Python have been announcing

0:04:48 > 0:04:51more dates for their reunion show in London.

0:04:51 > 0:04:55That's after 20,000 tickets sold out in under a minute.

0:04:55 > 0:04:59# It's fun to charter an accountant and sail the wide accountancy... #

0:05:01 > 0:05:02I couldn't believe it.

0:05:02 > 0:05:05The phone rang, "Well, it's sold out in 45 seconds,

0:05:05 > 0:05:09"so we put five more on and they sold out in an hour."

0:05:11 > 0:05:13Then they asked us to do five more, you know,

0:05:13 > 0:05:15so people said, "Yeah, OK."

0:05:15 > 0:05:20So then we got offers from all round the world. And Michael said no

0:05:20 > 0:05:23because he was busy, he's doing a book tour.

0:05:23 > 0:05:24No, er...it's quite nice,

0:05:24 > 0:05:28having Michael say no meant that we only have ten nights.

0:05:28 > 0:05:29CHEERING

0:05:29 > 0:05:33Welcome, one, welcome all. It's New Year's Eve!

0:05:33 > 0:05:36- CHEERING - Oh, isn't it exciting?

0:05:36 > 0:05:38And then he's going to talk about, how, you know,

0:05:38 > 0:05:40it's exciting that you are back together,

0:05:40 > 0:05:45and, you know, you haven't performed together for over 30 years.

0:05:45 > 0:05:48The Monty Python team are here! Yes!

0:05:48 > 0:05:51This is where you're going to come on from.

0:05:51 > 0:05:53If you just head straight towards Graham.

0:05:53 > 0:05:56Graham will meet and greet you, basically shake hands.

0:05:56 > 0:06:00They're about to perform together for the first time in over 30 years.

0:06:00 > 0:06:05Ladies and gentlemen, go NYE crazy for Monty Python!

0:06:05 > 0:06:07CHEERING

0:06:14 > 0:06:18Michael Palin is here! Hello! Hugging!

0:06:18 > 0:06:21Eric Idle is here! Hello.

0:06:21 > 0:06:24It's such fun being with everybody. There's so many good laughs,

0:06:24 > 0:06:27you know, even when we're just doing business

0:06:27 > 0:06:29or legal fees, we laugh a lot.

0:06:29 > 0:06:31Mr John Cleese is here! Hello, sir.

0:06:31 > 0:06:35The funny thing is, once we started to get together and work together,

0:06:35 > 0:06:37I suddenly remembered,

0:06:37 > 0:06:41"Oh, yes, we could never agree on anything, can we?"

0:06:41 > 0:06:45- It's over 30 years, it's 31 years or something since...- What is?

0:06:45 > 0:06:48Since you performed... Since you performed in a live show together.

0:06:48 > 0:06:51Yes, that was the Hollywood Bowl, absolutely.

0:06:51 > 0:06:54- And 40 years since we did it in England.- It was 33 years.

0:06:54 > 0:06:57- All right, all right! - Quibble, quibble.- Quibble.

0:06:57 > 0:07:03- Oh, my God!- OK, can I just say, you mustn't fall out before 1st July.

0:07:03 > 0:07:05Hang on in there.

0:07:06 > 0:07:10Walking down there was just like seeing the Beatles coming in.

0:07:10 > 0:07:12It's amazing, seeing you all.

0:07:12 > 0:07:14- Is there any chance I could get a picture with you?- Yeah, of course.

0:07:14 > 0:07:20- Show the Python pants, please! - Yes, yes!

0:07:20 > 0:07:21Yes.

0:07:21 > 0:07:22CHEERING

0:07:22 > 0:07:25But not everyone is as convinced as Robbie Williams

0:07:25 > 0:07:28that this is a good idea.

0:07:28 > 0:07:30In fact, some people are just looking to start an argument.

0:07:30 > 0:07:35- Is this the right room for an argument?- I've told you once.

0:07:35 > 0:07:39- No, you haven't.- Yes, I have. - When?- Just now.

0:07:39 > 0:07:40- No, you didn't.- Yes, I did.

0:07:40 > 0:07:42- You didn't.- I did.- You didn't. - I'm telling you I did.

0:07:42 > 0:07:45- You most certainly did not. - Is this a five-minute argument

0:07:45 > 0:07:46or the full half hour?

0:07:46 > 0:07:51Let me read you a commentary by the Daily Mail.

0:07:51 > 0:07:56About the appearance of Python, the anticipation.

0:07:56 > 0:07:59"From the bristling security beefcake, you would have thought

0:07:59 > 0:08:03"it was a Madonna concert or the visit of a top-ranked politician.

0:08:03 > 0:08:07"And like the vainest prima donnas, they arrived 20 minutes late.

0:08:07 > 0:08:10- "Eventually..." This is even ruder, are you ready for this?- Yes, go on.

0:08:10 > 0:08:15"Eventually, five slightly shrivelled septuagenarians..."

0:08:15 > 0:08:17- That's good. - "..stepped from the wings

0:08:17 > 0:08:20"to announce to much fawning from camp followers..."

0:08:20 > 0:08:24That's right. Because it's the Mail, so it couldn't be genuine applause.

0:08:24 > 0:08:26No, it would have to be fawning.

0:08:26 > 0:08:30"..These ancients looked anything but sprightly.

0:08:32 > 0:08:35"And they intend to cash in on baby boomer nostalgia

0:08:35 > 0:08:39- "by churning out some of their old hits."- That's interesting.

0:08:39 > 0:08:41What interests me is that the Daily Mail,

0:08:41 > 0:08:45which sees itself as the heart of middle-class Britain,

0:08:45 > 0:08:48people in Britain are very proud of their sense of humour.

0:08:48 > 0:08:51The Daily Mail has no sense of humour at all.

0:08:51 > 0:08:55And it's not as though we're child molesters, you know what I mean,

0:08:55 > 0:08:58or war criminals? We made some people laugh.

0:08:58 > 0:08:59Not everybody likes Python,

0:08:59 > 0:09:02there's lots of people who don't like it but quite a lot do.

0:09:02 > 0:09:04- Now, look... - Thank you, good morning.

0:09:06 > 0:09:08What?

0:09:08 > 0:09:09That's it. Good morning.

0:09:11 > 0:09:13LAUGHTER

0:09:13 > 0:09:17- I'm sorry, I'm not allowed to argue any more.- What?!

0:09:17 > 0:09:21So where have they been for the last 30 years?

0:09:21 > 0:09:25A life after Python has been... well, complicated.

0:09:25 > 0:09:29John Cleese, of course, made Fawlty Towers and A Fish Called Wanda.

0:09:29 > 0:09:32But in the last few years, he's been preoccupied.

0:09:32 > 0:09:36Fundraising with his one-man show, The Alimony Tour.

0:09:36 > 0:09:38I was just doing it, you stupid woman.

0:09:38 > 0:09:40I just put it down to come here

0:09:40 > 0:09:42to be reminded by you to do what I'm already doing.

0:09:42 > 0:09:45What is the point of reminding me to do what I'm already doing?

0:09:45 > 0:09:48What is the bloody point? I'm doing it, aren't I?!

0:09:48 > 0:09:53As you might have guessed, he's got an expensive divorce to pay off.

0:09:53 > 0:09:56He is currently in Singapore, where we'll join him later.

0:10:02 > 0:10:03And what of the other Pythons?

0:10:03 > 0:10:08Michael Palin, you must remember him from those travel programmes.

0:10:08 > 0:10:10Well, he's not doing those at the moment.

0:10:12 > 0:10:15There's some commentary coming in a minute.

0:10:15 > 0:10:17Ah, here it is.

0:10:17 > 0:10:20He's also got a tour coming up.

0:10:20 > 0:10:23And a third volume of diaries to publicise.

0:10:23 > 0:10:25But where is he now?

0:10:25 > 0:10:26According to my sources,

0:10:26 > 0:10:30he's somewhere in the Yorkshire Dales, filming a ghost story.

0:10:30 > 0:10:32- Play around with it.- Yeah, yeah.

0:10:34 > 0:10:37All right, what about Terry Gilliam?

0:10:37 > 0:10:40The oldest enfant terrible in show business.

0:10:40 > 0:10:43He's been busy making this.

0:10:43 > 0:10:44Another dystopian sci-fi.

0:10:46 > 0:10:49But a man who feels happiest when surrounded by chaos

0:10:49 > 0:10:54and disaster is never going to be content spinning just one plate.

0:10:54 > 0:10:56Where's the fun in that?

0:10:56 > 0:10:58So he's decided to tackle one of the most difficult,

0:10:58 > 0:11:01rarely performed operas ever written.

0:11:01 > 0:11:04He's currently somewhere near the Olympic Park

0:11:04 > 0:11:07and can be heard tearing his hair out in rehearsals.

0:11:09 > 0:11:12Terry Jones. What of him?

0:11:12 > 0:11:14The last I saw of Terry,

0:11:14 > 0:11:17he was looking very much the twinkly-eyed history professor,

0:11:17 > 0:11:21slagging off the Renaissance and claiming Richard III was a genius.

0:11:21 > 0:11:24It was quite astonishing.

0:11:25 > 0:11:27Now he's dusted off his megaphone

0:11:27 > 0:11:31and is back in the director's chair for the first time in 18 years,

0:11:31 > 0:11:34making a comedy with Simon Pegg and Kate Beckinsale.

0:11:34 > 0:11:39Everybody applauding! Oh, yes!

0:11:40 > 0:11:43But in just a few months,

0:11:43 > 0:11:48these "shrivelled septuagenerians" will be here. The O2 Arena.

0:11:48 > 0:11:54Over ten nights, they'll perform to a total of 150,000 people.

0:11:54 > 0:11:58Equivalent to the entire population of Slough.

0:11:58 > 0:12:02It's the biggest show of their lives. But nobody seems to care.

0:12:02 > 0:12:04And who's in charge?

0:12:05 > 0:12:09Ah! That would be Eric Idle.

0:12:09 > 0:12:11And where's Eric?

0:12:11 > 0:12:14Eric's at home, in Hollywood.

0:12:14 > 0:12:20Looking for a dear old friend he keeps locked away in a wooden box.

0:12:20 > 0:12:24We are going down into the Valley... of the shadow of debt.

0:12:24 > 0:12:30To look for the albatross, which is the prop that was originally used

0:12:30 > 0:12:36on Monty Python in 1969 and also, I think it came on tour with us.

0:12:36 > 0:12:39It's an albatross on an usherette's tray.

0:12:39 > 0:12:40Albatross!

0:12:43 > 0:12:44Albatross!

0:12:46 > 0:12:50- Albatross?- Two choc-ices, please. - I haven't got choc-ices.

0:12:50 > 0:12:52I only got the albatross.

0:12:53 > 0:12:59I borrowed it in 2000, it was sent out here to California,

0:12:59 > 0:13:01for me to go on tour with a show called

0:13:01 > 0:13:03Eric Idle Exploits Monty Python.

0:13:03 > 0:13:06Which we went on tour with.

0:13:06 > 0:13:11And when I got it back, it had become an endangered species.

0:13:11 > 0:13:15And we were not allowed to send it or ship it back to England.

0:13:15 > 0:13:21So it has remained here in the lock-up. I hope it's in the lock-up.

0:13:21 > 0:13:24And we're going to see if we can get it out,

0:13:24 > 0:13:27and then smuggle it back into the UK

0:13:27 > 0:13:31and we don't get arrested for breaking the Endangered Species Act.

0:13:31 > 0:13:33But it is dead.

0:13:33 > 0:13:35Er, what flavour is it?

0:13:35 > 0:13:37Well, it's an albatross, isn't it?

0:13:37 > 0:13:41It's not any bloody flavour. Albatross!

0:13:41 > 0:13:44There's got to be some flavour. Everything's got a flavour.

0:13:44 > 0:13:47All right, all right, it's bloody albatross flavour.

0:13:47 > 0:13:52It's bleeding sea bird, bleeding flavour. Albatross!

0:13:52 > 0:13:56Personnel on this expedition is my son Carey, who's in from Australia.

0:13:56 > 0:14:01And Alana, my assistant, my long-suffering assistant is here.

0:14:03 > 0:14:04Is that the only light?

0:14:06 > 0:14:07Um...

0:14:08 > 0:14:09What's this?

0:14:11 > 0:14:13- Oh, look at that. How about that? - Oh, nice.

0:14:13 > 0:14:16This was our first encounter with George Harrison.

0:14:16 > 0:14:20Me, George, Olivia, Terry Gilliam in Hollywood.

0:14:20 > 0:14:22So, in here, there's all sorts of shite.

0:14:22 > 0:14:26Look, there's even a dead parrot cage.

0:14:26 > 0:14:28Silver disc? What is it?

0:14:28 > 0:14:30There you are.

0:14:31 > 0:14:33Life of Brian.

0:14:35 > 0:14:38Ran for six months in the West End, that did.

0:14:38 > 0:14:41Was closed by the Falklands war.

0:14:41 > 0:14:43I don't think there's anything you can say to that.

0:14:43 > 0:14:45I don't even know what it comes from.

0:14:45 > 0:14:49- Well done! - Nicely done.- Well done, Alana.

0:14:49 > 0:14:51HE HUMS "RIDE OF THE VALKYRIES"

0:14:53 > 0:14:55There it is! The albatross.

0:14:55 > 0:14:59My gosh. A bit ratty.

0:14:59 > 0:15:03I think the albatross is going to need a hairstyling. Albatross!

0:15:04 > 0:15:07Look, it's on a tray, it's on its original tray too, see?

0:15:07 > 0:15:08Do you get wafers with it?

0:15:08 > 0:15:11Course you don't get fucking wafers with it, you cunt!

0:15:11 > 0:15:15- It's a fucking albatross... - Stop that. Stop that.

0:15:15 > 0:15:16It's filthy.

0:15:17 > 0:15:19Bring out your dead!

0:15:21 > 0:15:23Bring out your dead birds!

0:15:23 > 0:15:25FANFARE

0:15:27 > 0:15:30The original Python team resisted a reunion for years.

0:15:30 > 0:15:33And when Graham Chapman died in 1989,

0:15:33 > 0:15:36it looked as though it would never happen.

0:15:36 > 0:15:38Now, they're spread all over the world,

0:15:38 > 0:15:41all doing something completely different.

0:15:41 > 0:15:44Trying to organise a Python reunion

0:15:44 > 0:15:48is a bit like trying to get an octopus into a string bag.

0:15:48 > 0:15:52And since Eric is the man supposedly in charge,

0:15:52 > 0:15:56I wondered if he could shed some light on why they're doing it.

0:15:57 > 0:16:03- Did it come out of the blue, this reunion thing?- Well, we had just...

0:16:04 > 0:16:07We'd been involved with this idiot

0:16:07 > 0:16:09who was one of the producers on Holy Grail.

0:16:09 > 0:16:11And he spent seven years suing us.

0:16:11 > 0:16:16So what it meant was, it cost us a million quid to defend ourselves.

0:16:16 > 0:16:17So we were a million quid down,

0:16:17 > 0:16:20and people are getting old and ancient and decrepit.

0:16:20 > 0:16:22So we had to have a business meeting in August,

0:16:22 > 0:16:25and I was thinking to myself, we need some advice,

0:16:25 > 0:16:26to tell us where we are.

0:16:26 > 0:16:30- And I remembered my old friend Jim Beach...- The manager of Queen.

0:16:30 > 0:16:33The manager of Queen, but we were at Cambridge together.

0:16:33 > 0:16:37And he used to play the piano when I did cabaret with Graeme Garden.

0:16:37 > 0:16:40But I've always known him and loved him.

0:16:40 > 0:16:42Anyway, so I thought, "I'll ask him."

0:16:42 > 0:16:45And he, bless him, flew in from Switzerland

0:16:45 > 0:16:48and came to the meeting where we discussed all this loss.

0:16:48 > 0:16:52And, you know, I saw him for a drink the night before and I said,

0:16:52 > 0:16:56"If we did a night at the O2, we'd pay this off in a second."

0:16:56 > 0:16:59And so, in the meeting, Jim is listening to us

0:16:59 > 0:17:01and he says, "This is such a mess.

0:17:01 > 0:17:04"But you know," he said, "if you just did a night at the O2,

0:17:04 > 0:17:08"you could pay back all that money."

0:17:08 > 0:17:11And I laughed and I said, "Oh, that's a good idea!"

0:17:11 > 0:17:14And everybody liked it and they all said yes immediately.

0:17:14 > 0:17:16You know, suddenly we had a show.

0:17:16 > 0:17:21# I've got £90,000 in my pyjamas

0:17:21 > 0:17:23# I've got 40,000 French francs in my fridge... #

0:17:23 > 0:17:28The last time they performed was live at the Hollywood Bowl.

0:17:28 > 0:17:32They had a black backdrop, a few costume changes, and hardly any set.

0:17:32 > 0:17:37The O2 Arena is more than twice that size. A different beast entirely.

0:17:37 > 0:17:39# ..I'd rather have the lolly

0:17:39 > 0:17:42# With money you can make a splash

0:17:42 > 0:17:45# There is nothing quite as wonderful as money... #

0:17:45 > 0:17:48I really thought, well, the only way we can fill O2

0:17:48 > 0:17:52if we have singing and dancing. So we've got to have a band.

0:17:52 > 0:17:55It's become sort of a musical with Python in the middle,

0:17:55 > 0:17:57which is kind of what I like.

0:17:57 > 0:18:01I think that will... It sets it and it won't be just, like,

0:18:01 > 0:18:06five 70-year-olds trying to do a sketch show.

0:18:06 > 0:18:08It will have a lot of energy of its own

0:18:08 > 0:18:12because of all these lovely young dancers and the songs and the music.

0:18:14 > 0:18:16So, back in London,

0:18:16 > 0:18:19while auditions are under way to find the chorus line,

0:18:19 > 0:18:22across town, the Pythons get together

0:18:22 > 0:18:24for their very first read-through.

0:18:25 > 0:18:27Who would've thought, 40 years ago,

0:18:27 > 0:18:31- we'd all be sitting here doing Monty Python.- Aye, aye.- Aye.

0:18:31 > 0:18:34Them days, we were glad to have the price of a cup of tea.

0:18:34 > 0:18:37- Cup of cold tea.- Right.

0:18:37 > 0:18:39- Without milk or sugar.- Or tea.

0:18:43 > 0:18:45For the first time in more than 20 years,

0:18:45 > 0:18:49Michael Palin is not making a travel show.

0:18:49 > 0:18:52He's heading the cast of a BBC drama.

0:18:52 > 0:18:54Remember Me is a supernatural thriller

0:18:54 > 0:18:58that's about as far from the silly antics of Python as you can imagine.

0:18:58 > 0:19:01What is it? A vulnerable adult.

0:19:03 > 0:19:07I'm told it's chilling, and that's not just the script.

0:19:08 > 0:19:09Hello!

0:19:11 > 0:19:14Nothing comical about these. You really need them today.

0:19:16 > 0:19:18It's all right, I don't have any nude scenes or anything like that.

0:19:18 > 0:19:21Palin plays Tom Parfitt,

0:19:21 > 0:19:23a frail old Yorkshireman,

0:19:23 > 0:19:27seemingly alone in the world, whose admittance to a nursing home

0:19:27 > 0:19:30triggers a series of inexplicable events.

0:19:30 > 0:19:31Action.

0:19:33 > 0:19:35I've got no family living.

0:19:36 > 0:19:38I'm 80-odd.

0:19:39 > 0:19:42Oh! You've packed your bag, I see?

0:19:42 > 0:19:44Well, you've got to keep a bag packed.

0:19:44 > 0:19:46You never know when you might need it.

0:19:46 > 0:19:49It certainly is nice to get something that is not adapted,

0:19:49 > 0:19:51completely fresh and new.

0:19:51 > 0:19:54And rather... You know, a ghost story in three parts,

0:19:54 > 0:19:57they don't really do that much nowadays.

0:19:58 > 0:20:00I fell down the stairs.

0:20:00 > 0:20:04I'm a, what is it? A vulnerable adult.

0:20:07 > 0:20:10I was going to ask you about how the read-through went.

0:20:10 > 0:20:13'The Python read-through? It went very well.

0:20:13 > 0:20:15'I loved going back and doing the material again.

0:20:15 > 0:20:18'It's like the years rolled by.

0:20:18 > 0:20:20'We kind of know the rhythm of'

0:20:20 > 0:20:22all those sketches, "Argument" and things like that.

0:20:22 > 0:20:25- I'm sorry, the five minutes is up. - That was never five minutes just now.

0:20:25 > 0:20:27I'm afraid it was.

0:20:27 > 0:20:30'It's like an old thing you've made years ago,'

0:20:30 > 0:20:32you know how to work it.

0:20:32 > 0:20:34It was like that.

0:20:34 > 0:20:35That was never five minutes just now.

0:20:35 > 0:20:37I told you, if you want me to go on arguing,

0:20:37 > 0:20:40- you'll have to pay for another five minutes.- I just paid.- You didn't.

0:20:40 > 0:20:46- I did!- You never.- I did!- You never... - I don't want to argue about that!

0:20:46 > 0:20:50- I'm very sorry, but you didn't pay. - If I didn't pay, why are you arguing?

0:20:50 > 0:20:52Ha!

0:20:52 > 0:20:57When we all get together, which is fairly rare, things crackle along.

0:20:57 > 0:20:59We had a very good time in November

0:20:59 > 0:21:01when the show was announced and all that.

0:21:01 > 0:21:04And we met up a lot, and once we're talking about performing,

0:21:04 > 0:21:08and...you know, acting and working together to make people laugh,

0:21:08 > 0:21:11that seems to be fine. We're good at that.

0:21:11 > 0:21:15And do these lions, by any chance, eat ants?

0:21:15 > 0:21:17Yes, that's right, that's right.

0:21:17 > 0:21:21THEY ALL LAUGH

0:21:22 > 0:21:27'Someone's got to take a lead. You can't produce a show by e-mail.

0:21:27 > 0:21:28'Since Spamalot,'

0:21:28 > 0:21:31Eric's been dealing with a big hit, you know,

0:21:31 > 0:21:33some big theatrical hit.

0:21:33 > 0:21:35'So he's good at that.

0:21:35 > 0:21:37'He's got an appetite for it,

0:21:37 > 0:21:39'it seems to be what he really wants to do.'

0:21:39 > 0:21:41ALL: # Immanuel Kant was a real pissant

0:21:41 > 0:21:44# Who was very rarely stable

0:21:44 > 0:21:46# Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar

0:21:46 > 0:21:49# Who could think you under the table

0:21:49 > 0:21:53# David Hume could outconsume Schopenhauer and Hegel

0:21:53 > 0:21:56# And Wittgenstein was a beery swine

0:21:56 > 0:21:58# Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel. #

0:21:58 > 0:22:02You're not confused and learning your Python lines, are you?

0:22:02 > 0:22:04You probably haven't forgotten any of them.

0:22:04 > 0:22:08Well, it's very good practice for the Yorkshire accent.

0:22:08 > 0:22:12"Luxury," all the Python stuff we do. So bone up on that.

0:22:12 > 0:22:16There were 150 of us living in a shoe box in the middle of the road.

0:22:18 > 0:22:21- Cardboard box?- Aye.- You were lucky.

0:22:22 > 0:22:27We lived for three months in a rolled-up newspaper in a septic tank.

0:22:27 > 0:22:30I think I probably have forgotten the Python lines.

0:22:30 > 0:22:32I think I know them. We all think we know them.

0:22:32 > 0:22:35But we'll probably need prompting from the audience,

0:22:35 > 0:22:39which is why we're doing it in such a large venue.

0:22:39 > 0:22:41We used to have to get up every morning at six o'clock

0:22:41 > 0:22:44and clean the newspaper, go to work down the mill, 14 hours a day,

0:22:44 > 0:22:46week in week out, for sixpence a week.

0:22:46 > 0:22:50And we got home, our dad with thrash us to sleep with his belt.

0:22:51 > 0:22:52Luxury.

0:22:56 > 0:22:59Go Terry, and mark it, please.

0:22:59 > 0:23:00670, take one.

0:23:00 > 0:23:05'Getting into the mindset of something you're doing after this is'

0:23:05 > 0:23:08almost impossible, because this is totally...

0:23:08 > 0:23:10Especially with this character, it takes you over, really.

0:23:10 > 0:23:13When this is finished, I can go back to being Michael Palin,

0:23:13 > 0:23:15which is a bit of a bore, really.

0:23:16 > 0:23:19You move into a place, you think, "It'll do me till Christmas."

0:23:19 > 0:23:22You don't expect to be stuck there the rest of your life.

0:23:22 > 0:23:25How long have you lived in that house, Tom?

0:23:25 > 0:23:28Oh, I forget now.

0:23:28 > 0:23:30I'm 80-odd.

0:23:30 > 0:23:31Cut that, please. Thank you.

0:23:31 > 0:23:33Good.

0:23:35 > 0:23:38Acting under pressure!

0:23:42 > 0:23:45We did lots of Python filming up in Yorkshire.

0:23:45 > 0:23:50Those rocks up there remind me of the Cow and Calf rocks near Ilkley,

0:23:50 > 0:23:53where we did the hermit sketch which I loved.

0:23:53 > 0:23:57- Hello! Are you a hermit by any chance?- Yes, that's right.

0:23:57 > 0:24:02- Are you a hermit?- Yes, I certainly am!- Well, I never!

0:24:02 > 0:24:04- What are you getting away from? - Oh, you know, the usual.

0:24:04 > 0:24:07- People, chat, gossip, you know. - Oh, I certainly do.

0:24:07 > 0:24:08It was the same with me.

0:24:08 > 0:24:11I mean, there comes a time when you realise there's no good

0:24:11 > 0:24:14frittering your life away in idleness and trivial chitchat.

0:24:14 > 0:24:18- Where's your cave?- Oh, up the goat track, first on the left.

0:24:18 > 0:24:21All of these strange outfits on top of the rock.

0:24:21 > 0:24:22"Yes, I'm a hermit!"

0:24:26 > 0:24:29While everybody else is busy, back in LA,

0:24:29 > 0:24:34the show is magically coming together by itself. Isn't it, Eric?

0:24:34 > 0:24:36'I'm fucking scared shitless.'

0:24:36 > 0:24:39But I am because I'm the only one who knows what we're trying to do.

0:24:39 > 0:24:42So, it's like, the others are blithely unaware.

0:24:42 > 0:24:45I got an e-mail from Gilliam saying he can't do the rehearsals

0:24:45 > 0:24:48because he's got to go to Paris to open his film.

0:24:48 > 0:24:51You go, "Um... you know the rehearsal thing?"

0:24:51 > 0:24:53HE LAUGHS

0:24:53 > 0:24:58- 'Hello.'- Hello.- 'Can you hear us all right?'- I can hear you all right.

0:24:58 > 0:24:59Sorry, Eric, you go first.

0:24:59 > 0:25:02Everybody should really have a look at the fifth draft.

0:25:02 > 0:25:05I've already tried on the Agent Provocateur underwear

0:25:05 > 0:25:07just to make sure it's safe for comedy.

0:25:07 > 0:25:09Thank you. LAUGHTER

0:25:09 > 0:25:12- 'Now, the naked organist is cut.' - OK.

0:25:12 > 0:25:15Who's going to make sure that that happens?

0:25:15 > 0:25:17Excellent. Wait, wait. What's...? Stop, stop.

0:25:17 > 0:25:19'You will not get the Pythons to wear them.'

0:25:19 > 0:25:20HE LAUGHS

0:25:20 > 0:25:23'Need - yes. Get - no.'

0:25:23 > 0:25:27No matter how many times you say it, it doesn't...

0:25:27 > 0:25:28Understood. Yeah, OK.

0:25:28 > 0:25:30I don't think that's a good idea.

0:25:30 > 0:25:34I'm sorry, I still didn't get who's going to make sure that happens?

0:25:34 > 0:25:37Suitably humiliated. Perfect.

0:25:37 > 0:25:39Because I'm also losing Terry Gilliam.

0:25:39 > 0:25:42'He's just announced he's opening his fucking film in Paris.

0:25:42 > 0:25:44'So he can't come to rehearsals.'

0:25:44 > 0:25:47So we could maybe get Martin Scorsese.

0:25:47 > 0:25:49All right, I'll give him a ring.

0:25:49 > 0:25:51Thanks, everybody. Bye-bye.

0:25:55 > 0:25:58I mean, the two that I'm looking forward to most are...

0:25:58 > 0:26:02And we've never done the sketches live before, John as Anne Elk,

0:26:02 > 0:26:06which I really love. "I have a theory, and what it is, too."

0:26:06 > 0:26:09- Your new theory. - Oh! What is my theory?

0:26:09 > 0:26:12- Yes.- Oh, what is my theory that it is?

0:26:12 > 0:26:15Well, Chris, you may well ask me what is my theory.

0:26:15 > 0:26:17LAUGHTER

0:26:17 > 0:26:23And Terry's never done this, which is the Spam cafe before,

0:26:23 > 0:26:26and so we are recreating Spam cafe

0:26:26 > 0:26:30because now we have 20 people who can be Vikings singing...

0:26:30 > 0:26:32# Spam, Spam, Spam! Lovely spam! #

0:26:32 > 0:26:34So we'll do all of that live.

0:26:34 > 0:26:36I don't like Spam!

0:26:36 > 0:26:38VIKINGS SING: # Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam

0:26:38 > 0:26:43# Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam Spammity-spam!

0:26:41 > 0:26:43# Wonderful Spam! #

0:26:43 > 0:26:47Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

0:26:47 > 0:26:51- And he's squeezing the chicken... - LAUGHTER

0:26:51 > 0:26:53Eric has assembled a crack team

0:26:53 > 0:26:56to look after the song-and-dance numbers.

0:26:56 > 0:26:59Long-time musical collaborator John Du Prez

0:26:59 > 0:27:02is a relative spring chicken at 68.

0:27:02 > 0:27:05It could either build up like that, you know. That would be nice.

0:27:05 > 0:27:08Cos you have this sort of like... It goes...

0:27:08 > 0:27:11# Ba ba ba Ba ba ba...

0:27:11 > 0:27:14# Ba ba ba Ba ba ba... #

0:27:14 > 0:27:15You know, you sort of build it.

0:27:15 > 0:27:18# Ba ba ba, ba ba ba Brrrump ba da... #

0:27:18 > 0:27:20You know, coming from that.

0:27:20 > 0:27:24# Da da da, da da da Da da da, da da da

0:27:24 > 0:27:26# Sit on my face! #

0:27:26 > 0:27:29So you have... Oh, yes, I can do all of that.

0:27:29 > 0:27:32And marshalling the dancers is the high-kicking

0:27:32 > 0:27:35and renowned choreographer Arlene Phillips.

0:27:35 > 0:27:40A big circle around in between the tables, up and over the tables.

0:27:40 > 0:27:43Arlene Phillips is so great, she's the spirit of it all.

0:27:43 > 0:27:46She was the choreographer for The Meaning Of Life,

0:27:46 > 0:27:49so she's really cool to come back into it.

0:27:49 > 0:27:52# Every sperm is good

0:27:52 > 0:27:59# Every sperm is needed in your neighbourhood. #

0:27:59 > 0:28:04I'll wrap around and then I'll drop from here, drop back.

0:28:04 > 0:28:05# Sit on my face. #

0:28:05 > 0:28:11Our opening routine, which is about penises, vaginas, bottoms,

0:28:11 > 0:28:17I decided to look at the signing for all the words that you

0:28:17 > 0:28:21could use to describe them and try to put them into choreography.

0:28:21 > 0:28:25You can notice them if you're aware of sign language, otherwise you'd

0:28:25 > 0:28:29just think we're making beautiful arm movements and lovely gestures.

0:28:29 > 0:28:33# But don't take it out in public Or they'll stick you in the dock

0:28:33 > 0:28:37# And you won't come back. #

0:28:39 > 0:28:43# I like Chinese... #

0:28:43 > 0:28:476,000 miles away in Singapore, John is about to

0:28:47 > 0:28:51perform his one-man show for the 200th time.

0:28:51 > 0:28:55Oh, and he's writing an autobiography.

0:28:55 > 0:28:57In long hand.

0:28:57 > 0:29:01I'm not kidding you that I have spent eight months out of the last

0:29:01 > 0:29:05ten months of my life in hotel rooms, so it's really apt that

0:29:05 > 0:29:10we should be talking here in a hotel room, but this is often my reward.

0:29:10 > 0:29:13# ..I like Chinese

0:29:14 > 0:29:18# I like Chinese... #

0:29:18 > 0:29:22I've seen very little work of any of the other Pythons,

0:29:22 > 0:29:25and it's exactly the same the other way round.

0:29:25 > 0:29:29It's funny, we don't pay a great deal of attention to each other's work,

0:29:29 > 0:29:32by and large, it's quite true, you know?

0:29:32 > 0:29:35Everyone's gone off in completely different directions,

0:29:35 > 0:29:39but the nice thing is when we get back together we laugh a lot.

0:29:39 > 0:29:42'Thinking about them a bit for the purpose of the autobiography,

0:29:42 > 0:29:46'I was beginning to realise I don't understand any of them at all.

0:29:46 > 0:29:48'I used to think I understood'

0:29:48 > 0:29:50Palin, but I don't.

0:29:50 > 0:29:54And I've never, never been able to understand either of the two Terrys,

0:29:54 > 0:29:55what's going on in their mind.

0:29:55 > 0:29:59I think I sort of vaguely know what...what Eric likes,

0:29:59 > 0:30:02because Eric very much enjoys, he loves show business,

0:30:02 > 0:30:04and I can understand that.

0:30:04 > 0:30:09A bit on my nose and a bit there on my enormous chin.

0:30:09 > 0:30:11There! Made up for another show.

0:30:11 > 0:30:13# Let me whisper in your ear

0:30:13 > 0:30:16# Say the words you long to hear... #

0:30:16 > 0:30:18Ten minutes, John.

0:30:18 > 0:30:23- Ten minutes?- Ten minutes.- All right. - OK.- OK.- See you soon.- Bye.- Bye.

0:30:24 > 0:30:29APPLAUSE

0:30:29 > 0:30:31- ANNOUNCER:- ...your mobile phones are turned off,

0:30:31 > 0:30:34or at the very least turned to silent mode.

0:30:34 > 0:30:36The taking of pictures with your camera,

0:30:36 > 0:30:42or phone or iPad or even using a fax machine is strictly prohibited.

0:30:42 > 0:30:47So, please welcome to the stage a man who needs no introduction -

0:30:47 > 0:30:49here is John Cleese.

0:30:49 > 0:30:53APPLAUSE

0:30:53 > 0:30:58MONTY PYTHON THEME: "The Liberty Bell" by JP Sousa

0:30:58 > 0:31:00'Well, the main reason that I have to do this,

0:31:00 > 0:31:03'of course, is to pay the alimony. I think people know that.'

0:31:03 > 0:31:07But I'm reaching the point now where I will nearly have paid it off.

0:31:07 > 0:31:12I have so far paid my latest ex-wife 22 million.

0:31:12 > 0:31:15Yes, 22, and I have another million to go.

0:31:15 > 0:31:19But I have to tell you, my Californian lawyer tells me

0:31:19 > 0:31:21that I got off lightly.

0:31:21 > 0:31:24Oh, yes, he said, "Think how much more you would have had to pay her

0:31:24 > 0:31:27"had she contributed anything to the relationship."

0:31:27 > 0:31:29LAUGHTER

0:31:29 > 0:31:33JAUNTY MUSIC PLAYS

0:31:33 > 0:31:36LAUGHTER

0:31:44 > 0:31:48APPLAUSE

0:31:48 > 0:31:52I sometimes think that in years to come a certain poor student

0:31:52 > 0:31:57of media studies will be required to write an essay on what that means.

0:31:57 > 0:32:01LAUGHTER

0:32:01 > 0:32:04Oh, sketches that I'm excited about doing?

0:32:04 > 0:32:05Mm... None.

0:32:08 > 0:32:11I shall probably enjoy doing them, but I don't get excited

0:32:11 > 0:32:17about doing stuff, particularly if it's 130 years old, you know?

0:32:17 > 0:32:20LAUGHTER

0:32:20 > 0:32:24The one thing I'm glad I don't have to do is the silly walks sketch,

0:32:24 > 0:32:27which I never thought was as funny as everyone else did,

0:32:27 > 0:32:29and I pointed out to Terry Jones, I think it was his idea,

0:32:29 > 0:32:32that the only reason it became so iconic

0:32:32 > 0:32:35was the brilliance of my performance, you know?

0:32:35 > 0:32:38Because I never thought it was a very good sketch,

0:32:38 > 0:32:40it was just a funny idea.

0:32:40 > 0:32:41CHEERING

0:32:41 > 0:32:43Good morning. I'm sorry to have kept you waiting,

0:32:43 > 0:32:46but I'm afraid my walk has become rather silly recently, so

0:32:46 > 0:32:48it takes me longer to get to the office.

0:32:48 > 0:32:50When I did that on stage, there was

0:32:50 > 0:32:53so much laughter just cos I was throwing my legs around,

0:32:53 > 0:32:57which I could do before I'd had them all replaced by surgery,

0:32:57 > 0:32:59when I was throwing them around there would be

0:32:59 > 0:33:01so much noise I would be saying to Michael Palin onstage,

0:33:01 > 0:33:04"I know you wrote this, but it's not a very good bit of material.

0:33:04 > 0:33:07"They're only laughing at the movements I'm making."

0:33:07 > 0:33:10Last year the government spent less on silly walks

0:33:10 > 0:33:12than it did on industrial reorganisation.

0:33:12 > 0:33:14We were supposed to get £348 million a year

0:33:14 > 0:33:17to cover our entire silly walks programme.

0:33:19 > 0:33:21Under two, back at three...

0:33:21 > 0:33:23In the absence of Cleese's legs,

0:33:23 > 0:33:27Arlene is going to put the silly walks to music.

0:33:27 > 0:33:31Round... Do you know what I mean?

0:33:31 > 0:33:35Whatever we're doing, we are being John Cleese,

0:33:35 > 0:33:36so we are not being...

0:33:36 > 0:33:41You know, it's all the time keeping that focus, keeping his body,

0:33:41 > 0:33:44keeping the way he moves in our minds.

0:33:44 > 0:33:46When we do that, as opposed to leaning back,

0:33:46 > 0:33:48everything is just down.

0:33:48 > 0:33:50There, down there, and then you push off.

0:33:50 > 0:33:55MONTY PYTHON THEME: "The Liberty Bell" by JP Sousa

0:34:06 > 0:34:09Before I wrote the script, I went to everybody and asked them

0:34:09 > 0:34:12what they would particularly like to do, and some were interesting.

0:34:12 > 0:34:18Cos John asked for a very weird one called Gumby brain surgeon.

0:34:18 > 0:34:19And he is doing that.

0:34:19 > 0:34:21'And it's hilarious, you know?

0:34:21 > 0:34:24'It's only an obscure TV sketch.'

0:34:24 > 0:34:26Doctor!

0:34:26 > 0:34:30We need a big door, and it's not be anchored securely,

0:34:30 > 0:34:31cos you knock on it, and then

0:34:31 > 0:34:34he's going to enter backwards, smashing through it,

0:34:34 > 0:34:36so this is quite tricky,

0:34:36 > 0:34:39because you don't want the whole thing to fall over,

0:34:39 > 0:34:43'and on the same truck is a prop desk

0:34:43 > 0:34:44'which he smashes'

0:34:44 > 0:34:46and will fall to bits.

0:34:46 > 0:34:50Are you...the brain specialist?

0:34:52 > 0:34:54No.

0:34:54 > 0:34:57No, I am not the brain specialist.

0:34:57 > 0:34:59No. No, I am not.

0:34:59 > 0:35:02Yes! Yes, I am.

0:35:02 > 0:35:06We have these sets.

0:35:06 > 0:35:08When they originally came up with it,

0:35:08 > 0:35:14they gave us this - a rather ugly modern box, you know what I mean?

0:35:14 > 0:35:18And so I said, "No, no, no. you've got to make it Gilliam."

0:35:18 > 0:35:22And so he came back with this. And now we know where we are.

0:35:22 > 0:35:26You know, in the Python silly Gilliam world it's much

0:35:26 > 0:35:28nicer for these nice warm curtains

0:35:28 > 0:35:31and drapes that move open

0:35:31 > 0:35:34to reveal the Gilliam world of animation.

0:35:36 > 0:35:40LAUGHTER

0:35:44 > 0:35:48ORCHESTRAL MUSIC

0:35:48 > 0:35:50RADIO RETUNES

0:35:50 > 0:35:53JAUNTY BRASS BAND MUSIC

0:35:55 > 0:35:58Terry Gilliam, the Pythons' animator, has gone on to

0:35:58 > 0:36:01forge a hugely successful career as a film director.

0:36:01 > 0:36:05His singular visual style can be seen in Time Bandits,

0:36:05 > 0:36:0812 Monkeys, and perhaps his masterpiece, Brazil.

0:36:13 > 0:36:17Earlier this year, he released The Zero Theorem.

0:36:17 > 0:36:20Made in a matter of weeks on a modest budget,

0:36:20 > 0:36:24Terry was characteristically candid about it at a private screening.

0:36:24 > 0:36:26It is what it is.

0:36:26 > 0:36:30There are moments of humour, there are moments of sadness.

0:36:30 > 0:36:33There are moments of tedium. They are all in a film...

0:36:33 > 0:36:35LAUGHTER ..a complete motion picture.

0:36:35 > 0:36:38All right, Quin? How's it hanging?

0:36:38 > 0:36:41It's Qohen, Mr Joby, and as we've told you before,

0:36:41 > 0:36:43it isn't hanging at all well.

0:36:43 > 0:36:44We're dying.

0:36:44 > 0:36:47I mean, always when you do the first cut of a movie,

0:36:47 > 0:36:50it's a great disappointment, that's standard.

0:36:50 > 0:36:51This was something deeper.

0:36:51 > 0:36:55Something more utterly tragic. It just...

0:36:55 > 0:36:57And I said, "Burn it! Just burn this thing.

0:36:57 > 0:37:00"It doesn't work. It's a mess. I blew it."

0:37:00 > 0:37:03Despite Terry's early neuroses, he recut it,

0:37:03 > 0:37:07and salvaged a film which was favourably received.

0:37:10 > 0:37:14And now he's applying his unique talents to opera.

0:37:14 > 0:37:18Benvenuto Cellini by the French composer Berlioz

0:37:18 > 0:37:22is a notoriously difficult and rarely performed piece -

0:37:22 > 0:37:25perfect for a man who loves a challenge.

0:37:25 > 0:37:26Singing to all his guys,

0:37:26 > 0:37:30Hail! All of us together! Yeah, brothers in arms.

0:37:30 > 0:37:34HE CHUCKLES

0:37:34 > 0:37:37Is there actually lots of humour in Berlioz?

0:37:37 > 0:37:40Humour? There is now!

0:37:40 > 0:37:44I think in this one he was trying to be funny.

0:37:44 > 0:37:48There's certain scenes that are very comic opera like.

0:37:48 > 0:37:50He just...goes on too long.

0:37:50 > 0:37:53# Once again... # Yeah, yeah.

0:37:53 > 0:37:56The foot goes back as if to kick. HE CHUCKLES

0:37:56 > 0:38:00- # Once again... # - Cos he's right there.

0:38:00 > 0:38:03- INAUDIBLE - Yeah.

0:38:03 > 0:38:07- # Once again... # - TERRY CHUCKLES

0:38:07 > 0:38:10Do you have a sort of fellow feeling with Cellini

0:38:10 > 0:38:12and Berlioz as well, for that matter?

0:38:12 > 0:38:16I've never even bothered to read a biography of Berlioz.

0:38:16 > 0:38:19I'm not interested. The music tells me the creative process.

0:38:19 > 0:38:21It's what he's writing about.

0:38:21 > 0:38:24The torture, the beauty of it, the horrible experience,

0:38:24 > 0:38:26which I think I can identify with.

0:38:26 > 0:38:29And that's exactly Cellini's story.

0:38:29 > 0:38:32The only Renaissance artist to write an autobiography.

0:38:32 > 0:38:37It's wonderful, it's so outrageous, cos he's a liar, a bullshitter,

0:38:37 > 0:38:41and yet he created these most extraordinarily beautiful things.

0:38:41 > 0:38:43And I find that very interesting.

0:38:43 > 0:38:46And I would like to create things as beautiful as they do.

0:38:46 > 0:38:49I end up just making jokes about things

0:38:49 > 0:38:51to cover up the fact I've failed.

0:38:55 > 0:38:58Terry is being self-deprecating here.

0:38:58 > 0:39:03His previous attempt at directing opera, The Damnation Of Faust,

0:39:03 > 0:39:04was a rip-roaring success.

0:39:06 > 0:39:11We did something. And it is "we". It's a big "we" that pulled it off.

0:39:11 > 0:39:14And that kind of made me want to come back, drag some more people into it,

0:39:14 > 0:39:17because when it's good, opera is pretty amazing.

0:39:17 > 0:39:21TENOR SINGS PIANO ACCOMPANIMENT

0:39:21 > 0:39:25His co-director, then as now, was Leah Hausman.

0:39:25 > 0:39:29I listened to this opera, and I really thought, "Why? Why?

0:39:29 > 0:39:32"Why does he want to do this? Why would you do this opera?

0:39:32 > 0:39:35"It's absolutely convoluted and difficult

0:39:35 > 0:39:39"and doesn't make sense, and the plot goes all over the place.

0:39:39 > 0:39:41"Why do I care about this guy Cellini?"

0:39:41 > 0:39:44And it's the first thing I said to Terry, and he went,

0:39:44 > 0:39:45"Yeah, it's kind of a problem."

0:39:45 > 0:39:49He then went, "Why did I choose this opera?"

0:39:49 > 0:39:51FINAL PIANO CHORDS

0:39:51 > 0:39:53Drunk falls off his table, his chair.

0:39:53 > 0:39:55Boom! HE CHUCKLES

0:39:55 > 0:39:58MALE TENOR SINGS PIANO ACCOMPANIMENT

0:40:00 > 0:40:03So, here we are, and you're two months away

0:40:03 > 0:40:05from the big day at the O2.

0:40:05 > 0:40:07So I'm wondering how much that's on your mind,

0:40:07 > 0:40:10how much you're thinking of your compatriots?

0:40:10 > 0:40:12Very little, is what I've thought.

0:40:12 > 0:40:14I mean, I've had to do things like

0:40:14 > 0:40:18I found myself back designing the poster for it.

0:40:18 > 0:40:20Oh! We're rereleasing albums.

0:40:20 > 0:40:23Oh! A new box...? We need a cover for that.

0:40:23 > 0:40:25So I've been doing my old job, basically.

0:40:25 > 0:40:28And I'm trying not to think about the rest of it,

0:40:28 > 0:40:32because I've just got much less to do than they do.

0:40:32 > 0:40:35In fact, I'm almost at times embarrassed,

0:40:35 > 0:40:39cos Eric has added more parts trying to keep me in the midst of it.

0:40:39 > 0:40:41And I don't really care. I just go there.

0:40:41 > 0:40:45I don't want to have to spend a lot of time thinking about it.

0:40:45 > 0:40:48It'll be great, 17,000 people on their feet cheering,

0:40:48 > 0:40:50that's very good for the ego, and then after a few nights of that

0:40:50 > 0:40:53I can go home and get through the rest of my life.

0:40:57 > 0:41:02# I've got two legs From my hips to the ground

0:41:02 > 0:41:06# And when I lift them They walk around

0:41:06 > 0:41:09# And when I lift them They climb the stairs

0:41:09 > 0:41:13# And when I shave 'em They ain't got hairs. #

0:41:13 > 0:41:16GUNSHOT HE SCREAMS

0:41:16 > 0:41:19Are you looking forward to being on that stage?

0:41:20 > 0:41:26I don't know. I've got a problem, because...

0:41:26 > 0:41:28because we're one short at the moment,

0:41:28 > 0:41:31I've got to do things like Gumby flower arranging,

0:41:31 > 0:41:34which Michael does - brilliantly -

0:41:34 > 0:41:36and to step into Mike's shoes

0:41:36 > 0:41:39scares the shit out of me, quite frankly.

0:41:39 > 0:41:41- SHOUTING:- Good evening.

0:41:41 > 0:41:44First, take a bunch of flowers.

0:41:45 > 0:41:49Pretty begonias, irises, freesias,

0:41:49 > 0:41:51and chry-man-thesums.

0:41:53 > 0:41:56Then...arrange them

0:41:56 > 0:41:57nicely

0:41:57 > 0:42:00in a vase.

0:42:00 > 0:42:03Oh! Get in! Get in! Get in!

0:42:03 > 0:42:06Mike is a genius, and we all keep saying,

0:42:06 > 0:42:09"Stop this travelling business, come back to comedy."

0:42:09 > 0:42:12He is, to me the funniest of all of us.

0:42:12 > 0:42:17JAUNTY PIANO MUSIC

0:42:20 > 0:42:22HE HITS SOME BUM NOTES

0:42:22 > 0:42:24Fuck!

0:42:24 > 0:42:26Advance!

0:42:30 > 0:42:31LAUGHTER

0:42:34 > 0:42:38We need a prop plank which is... Can be hit. People can be hit.

0:42:38 > 0:42:43Looks very heavy but actually is just, I think it's balsa wood.

0:42:43 > 0:42:46A lot of pies. And I think the best way

0:42:46 > 0:42:48- to make pies is shaving cream.- Yeah.

0:42:48 > 0:42:54They need to be brought on in paper plates so that when you

0:42:54 > 0:42:57pie someone, the plate falls off but it doesn't smash their noses.

0:42:57 > 0:43:00- Where's the fun in that?- Yeah. - LAUGHTER

0:43:00 > 0:43:03And now the foul pie.

0:43:08 > 0:43:11LAUGHTER

0:43:11 > 0:43:15And he just goes like that to her, so she gets the pie,

0:43:15 > 0:43:17that's the physical tag. Blackout.

0:43:17 > 0:43:21# Da da da da da da da. # Curtains in.

0:43:21 > 0:43:24- # Da dee dee da da da. # Clearly the intermission.- Brilliant.- Right?

0:43:24 > 0:43:25MUZAK PLAYS

0:43:25 > 0:43:28There will now be a medium-sized intermission.

0:43:28 > 0:43:31LAUGHTER

0:43:35 > 0:43:37SQUAWKING

0:43:39 > 0:43:41HEAD BURPS

0:43:41 > 0:43:43That made for a starter,

0:43:43 > 0:43:46but not perhaps something a little more savoury.

0:43:46 > 0:43:51# So always look on The bright side of death

0:43:51 > 0:43:54WHISTLING

0:43:54 > 0:43:59# Just before you Draw your terminal breath

0:43:59 > 0:44:01WHISTLING

0:44:01 > 0:44:05Busy as ever, Eric is now back in LA re-versioning

0:44:05 > 0:44:08that most classic of Python singalongs.

0:44:08 > 0:44:12# When you're in the World Cup And all your hopes are up. #

0:44:12 > 0:44:15VOCAL WARM-UP EXERCISES

0:44:15 > 0:44:18Been a long time since the ENO, you know?

0:44:18 > 0:44:22- You know Terry is in the midst? - I know, for his second ENO.

0:44:22 > 0:44:26Yeah. Have you heard from him about how it's going?

0:44:26 > 0:44:28He always says it's a disaster.

0:44:28 > 0:44:33I said, you know... He said, "It's chaos." I said, "You like chaos.

0:44:33 > 0:44:37"If it's not there, you create it." Which is true.

0:44:37 > 0:44:40# Life's a piece of shit When you look at it

0:44:40 > 0:44:44# Life's a laugh And death's a joke, it's true

0:44:44 > 0:44:47# You'll see it's all a show

0:44:47 > 0:44:49# Keep 'em laughing as you go

0:44:49 > 0:44:52# Just remember that The last laugh is on you, and...

0:44:52 > 0:44:57# Always look on The bright side of life. #

0:44:57 > 0:44:58Cheer up!

0:44:58 > 0:45:00OK, thanks, Michael.

0:45:00 > 0:45:04- DJ ON RADIO:- 'Lies you tell your kids, confessions@bbc.co.uk,

0:45:04 > 0:45:07'we're talking Python with Michael Palin in just a moment.

0:45:08 > 0:45:12In London, Michael has kindly made room in his busy schedule to plug

0:45:12 > 0:45:15the Python show on Simon Mayo.

0:45:15 > 0:45:20..to do something in July. So, if we can give them other things...

0:45:20 > 0:45:24Back in Los Angeles, Eric can't resist listening in,

0:45:24 > 0:45:27hoping to hear some recognition for his contribution.

0:45:28 > 0:45:31'And do you find it quite exciting?

0:45:31 > 0:45:36'Well, I'm glad that we've decided to lay this one to rest,'

0:45:36 > 0:45:40are we going to get together again or no, sorry, we'll leave it ten years.

0:45:40 > 0:45:43Suddenly it all happened this time and everyone said yes

0:45:43 > 0:45:46and there we are, and it's quite terrifying really.

0:45:48 > 0:45:52- I'm glad he's terrified! - 'But I think it'll be fun.

0:45:52 > 0:45:54- 'I think it'll be great.' - Yes, it will.

0:45:54 > 0:45:56Who was the one, if you are all deciding what to do,

0:45:56 > 0:45:59who was the one who would say, "No, I can't do it"?

0:45:59 > 0:46:01- Who was the one who was always saying no?- Me.

0:46:01 > 0:46:04- 'Seeing as you asked.'- That's true.

0:46:04 > 0:46:08But because I have got this volume of diaries coming out,

0:46:08 > 0:46:09I don't want to plug that

0:46:09 > 0:46:11'but there was 10 years, it's 88-98

0:46:11 > 0:46:14'and that last bit is actually about Python'

0:46:14 > 0:46:18at Aspen Festival in Colorado.

0:46:18 > 0:46:20We went along...

0:46:20 > 0:46:22I think Eric is a little put out

0:46:22 > 0:46:27because there has been no mention yet of all his hard work.

0:46:27 > 0:46:31Michael Palin is here because he has got something to say and this is it.

0:46:31 > 0:46:34The very last night of the Pythons,

0:46:34 > 0:46:37the last Python show ever is going

0:46:37 > 0:46:43to take place on 20 July 2014.

0:46:43 > 0:46:46- I think I know who's doing all the work...- Yes!

0:46:46 > 0:46:48- He doesn't get mentioned.- No, no.

0:46:48 > 0:46:51Have you thought about rehearsals or not?

0:46:51 > 0:46:54Yes, I have thought about it and rejected the idea.

0:46:54 > 0:46:56'We're just going to turn up.'

0:46:56 > 0:46:59Eric particularly is putting together a production

0:46:59 > 0:47:03so there will be lots of dancing, songs, because basically

0:47:03 > 0:47:07all of us are playing about ten different roles or more in the show.

0:47:07 > 0:47:09That means you've got to go off and change...

0:47:09 > 0:47:12What are you are looking forward to the most afterwards

0:47:12 > 0:47:14- apart from a long holiday? - Oh, I shall be in sad decline.

0:47:14 > 0:47:16I shall just sit there and play

0:47:16 > 0:47:18'the old sketches and cry a bit.

0:47:18 > 0:47:22'No, I've got a volume of diaries coming out as I said,

0:47:22 > 0:47:24'1988-98 called Travelling to Work.

0:47:24 > 0:47:28- 'So I shall be...'- Touring England! - '..publicising those'

0:47:28 > 0:47:30- Instead of Australia!- There'll be Life after Python, I hope.

0:47:30 > 0:47:33Michael Palin, a pleasure as ever. Thank you very much indeed.

0:47:33 > 0:47:36He hasn't even got to 2000 yet!

0:47:37 > 0:47:40That was very good, Michael. You did very well.

0:47:46 > 0:47:48I kind of think of you as a sort of head boy

0:47:48 > 0:47:53because you are the head boy of this venture, that's for sure.

0:47:53 > 0:47:57Yes, but in Python there is always somebody who has to take

0:47:57 > 0:47:59responsibility. That's how we do it.

0:47:59 > 0:48:00If you're doing an album,

0:48:00 > 0:48:03somebody takes the responsibility of producing it.

0:48:03 > 0:48:05If you're doing a movie, somebody is going to direct it

0:48:05 > 0:48:09and look after all of the boring shit that makes it possible

0:48:09 > 0:48:10for us to be good when we do it.

0:48:12 > 0:48:14# We're Knights of the Round Table

0:48:14 > 0:48:15# We dance when'er we're able

0:48:15 > 0:48:17# We do routines and chorus scenes

0:48:17 > 0:48:19# With footwork impeccable

0:48:19 > 0:48:21# We dine well here in Camelot... #

0:48:21 > 0:48:24So, for this production, Eric is in charge

0:48:24 > 0:48:26but it hasn't always been that way.

0:48:26 > 0:48:30For their film Monty Python and the Holy Grail, directing duties

0:48:30 > 0:48:34were shared between the two Terries, Gilliam and Jones.

0:48:35 > 0:48:40I don't know, it's a dogsbody job, directing. I think it's...

0:48:40 > 0:48:43You've really just got to organise things and work out what

0:48:43 > 0:48:47you're doing in the morning and it's a very thankless task.

0:48:47 > 0:48:48We're learning as we do it, it's nice.

0:48:48 > 0:48:51Been given a whole feature film to learn how to make films.

0:48:51 > 0:48:55- But you are treating it with proper respect?- Well...

0:48:56 > 0:49:00There has never been any mutual respect within the Python group

0:49:00 > 0:49:02at all, as you probably know.

0:49:02 > 0:49:05But we're withholding a lot of the criticism that we would

0:49:05 > 0:49:06normally be making.

0:49:06 > 0:49:09# Push the pram a lot... #

0:49:09 > 0:49:12On Life of Brian, Gilliam switched to the art department,

0:49:12 > 0:49:16leaving Terry Jones in sole charge of directing.

0:49:16 > 0:49:20Which meant he could save the funniest line for himself.

0:49:20 > 0:49:21CROWD CHATTER

0:49:21 > 0:49:23Now you listen here.

0:49:23 > 0:49:27He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy.

0:49:27 > 0:49:29Now go away!

0:49:29 > 0:49:32The last film Terry Jones made was The Wind in the Willows,

0:49:32 > 0:49:35but that was in 1996.

0:49:35 > 0:49:37Hello, Toad. This is Mole.

0:49:37 > 0:49:39Just going to send for you. Both of you.

0:49:39 > 0:49:45- My young friend has just lost his home.- Has he? What a stroke of luck!

0:49:45 > 0:49:50And now, 18 years later, he is back in the saddle,

0:49:50 > 0:49:56making a sci-fi comedy with Kate Beckinsale and Simon Pegg.

0:49:57 > 0:49:59Stop filming me! No, I'm kidding.

0:49:59 > 0:50:01So, why the long wait?

0:50:01 > 0:50:05You know, I kind of gave up on making feature films

0:50:05 > 0:50:08when Wind in the Willows was...

0:50:10 > 0:50:14- ..was so badly distributed. - What happened exactly?

0:50:14 > 0:50:19My producer rang up and said, "It's on in New York..."

0:50:20 > 0:50:22- In Times Square?- In Times Square.

0:50:22 > 0:50:28So I went around and it was on in a little porno cinema

0:50:28 > 0:50:30which had Wind in the Willows on it!

0:50:30 > 0:50:32- Raising expectations!- Yes!

0:50:32 > 0:50:37And I went off to get a camera

0:50:37 > 0:50:40because I didn't have a camera on me at the time. And...

0:50:42 > 0:50:45..I came back and it was off.

0:50:46 > 0:50:49- Within the time that you went...? - Yes. Yes.

0:50:49 > 0:50:54And it was, according to the San Francisco Chronicle,

0:50:54 > 0:50:58it was the second best reviewed film of the year.

0:50:59 > 0:51:02And it just tears me apart.

0:51:02 > 0:51:05The waste of it, you know?

0:51:05 > 0:51:08- We're on camera.- Rolling.

0:51:08 > 0:51:10Stand by.

0:51:10 > 0:51:13And the scene today is for the beginning of the film,

0:51:13 > 0:51:15- is that right?- Yes. It's a dream sequence.

0:51:15 > 0:51:20Neil dreams that he's got a successful book that's won

0:51:20 > 0:51:28the Man Booker Prize and he dreams about his love, Kate Beckinsale.

0:51:28 > 0:51:31Now with the publication of this brilliant novel,

0:51:31 > 0:51:35reviewers agree he has entered the ranks of Britain's immortals.

0:51:35 > 0:51:37Ladies and gentlemen, Neil Clarke.

0:51:41 > 0:51:45And Dennis the dog barks in the film

0:51:45 > 0:51:47and an avalanche of dogs

0:51:47 > 0:51:54come in down the staircase there and the dogs take over the dream, really.

0:51:54 > 0:51:55HE LAUGHS

0:51:55 > 0:51:59I devoted five long years to capturing it in a book,

0:51:59 > 0:52:01which I hoped would throw open

0:52:01 > 0:52:04- the doors of human perception... - DOG BARKS

0:52:04 > 0:52:08..um, and allow us to be engulfed in a sense of our own futility.

0:52:10 > 0:52:13That's very good. Great.

0:52:13 > 0:52:19You've got the O2 shows coming up, 150,000 people coming to see you.

0:52:19 > 0:52:21How are you preparing yourself, Terry?

0:52:21 > 0:52:24Staying up late, drinking a lot.

0:52:24 > 0:52:27Who is doing all the work?

0:52:27 > 0:52:31Well, Eric's doing the work. He is directing the show.

0:52:31 > 0:52:34And I'm glad he is.

0:52:34 > 0:52:35OK.

0:52:36 > 0:52:43The dancers, I may say, are wearing Agent Provocateur underwear, so...

0:52:43 > 0:52:45- That's exciting.- Yes!

0:52:46 > 0:52:49This is Neil submerged in a sea of dogs.

0:52:51 > 0:52:52I just assume I'm going to get tickets

0:52:52 > 0:52:55cos I'm working with Terry. At some point down the line,

0:52:55 > 0:52:58when we're sat by the camera, I'm going to try and blag some off him.

0:52:58 > 0:53:00But I've said, "How is it all going?"

0:53:00 > 0:53:02And he just sort of goes, "Oh,

0:53:02 > 0:53:06"yeah, yeah..." I don't think... It feels to me like nobody knows.

0:53:06 > 0:53:09I don't know if they have spoken to each other recently

0:53:09 > 0:53:10or that there's any plans.

0:53:10 > 0:53:12They've just decided they're going to do it

0:53:12 > 0:53:14and it'll probably happen on the night.

0:53:14 > 0:53:17I wouldn't be surprised if Graham materialised.

0:53:17 > 0:53:19DOGS BARK

0:53:19 > 0:53:22THEY ISSUE INSTRUCTIONS TO DOGS

0:53:26 > 0:53:28TERRY LAUGHS

0:53:33 > 0:53:35TERRY LAUGHS

0:53:39 > 0:53:40APPLAUSE

0:53:40 > 0:53:43That's great. That's great.

0:53:43 > 0:53:47Are there any sketches which you're looking forward to or want to

0:53:47 > 0:53:50be in the compilation? Any favourites that you have?

0:53:50 > 0:53:53- I'd like to hear Terry do the Crunchy Frog.- What sort of frog?

0:53:53 > 0:53:55A dead frog.

0:53:55 > 0:53:58That chocolate box list of ingredients is fantastic.

0:53:58 > 0:53:59What, a raw frog?

0:53:59 > 0:54:04We use only the finest baby frogs, dew-picked and flown from Iraq,

0:54:04 > 0:54:07cleansed in the finest quality spring water,

0:54:07 > 0:54:10lightly killed and then sealed in a succulent Swiss, quintuple smooth,

0:54:10 > 0:54:15treble cream, milk chocolate envelope and lovingly frosted with glucose.

0:54:15 > 0:54:18- That's as may be, it's still a frog. - Oh, what else?

0:54:18 > 0:54:21TERRY AND SIMON LAUGH That's great. Yeah.

0:54:22 > 0:54:25- Brilliant.- Brilliant. OK, great.

0:54:25 > 0:54:27- Happy?- Happy, yes.

0:54:27 > 0:54:29Thank God for that!

0:54:31 > 0:54:33Camp it up!

0:54:34 > 0:54:36- THEY CHANT:- Ooh, get her...

0:54:36 > 0:54:39LAUGHTER DROWNS OUT CHANTS

0:54:42 > 0:54:44..I'll scratch your eyes out

0:54:44 > 0:54:48Don't come the brigadier bit with us, dear

0:54:48 > 0:54:51We all know where you've been, you military fairy!

0:54:54 > 0:54:57Whoops! Don't look now, girls...

0:54:59 > 0:55:03So the spirit of the girls is the same as the boys,

0:55:03 > 0:55:08we love this, this is our favourite drill, the penis drill.

0:55:08 > 0:55:10Ooh, sounds painful.

0:55:10 > 0:55:13Across town from Terry's movie set,

0:55:13 > 0:55:16Arlene is busy putting the dancers through their paces.

0:55:20 > 0:55:23If you just do that, it doesn't look like anything,

0:55:23 > 0:55:28you've got to really push to see that the fans are fluttering.

0:55:32 > 0:55:35What are you planning to do when you get there to this?

0:55:35 > 0:55:39- It will just be... I'll just be charming them.- Oh.

0:55:39 > 0:55:43I shall press the charming switch and I shall come out

0:55:43 > 0:55:45and be absolutely charming.

0:55:45 > 0:55:48John Cleese has come home, as you can see.

0:55:48 > 0:55:51And we're on our way to promote his book.

0:55:51 > 0:55:54However, he has insisted, charmingly,

0:55:54 > 0:55:58that we divert and go home first to visit his cats.

0:55:59 > 0:56:03- You're dawdling.- Dawdling? - Right, come on!

0:56:07 > 0:56:08Flixy!

0:56:10 > 0:56:12Where is the other two?

0:56:12 > 0:56:15- This is the biggest one. - Wow, he is a big boy.

0:56:15 > 0:56:18- Is it a boy or a girl?- Boy.- And what is his name, this one?- Felix.

0:56:18 > 0:56:20I call him Flix.

0:56:20 > 0:56:24- He's so amazing... He's got the other one.- This is the small one.

0:56:24 > 0:56:27- Ah.- Isn't he wonderful?- Yes.

0:56:27 > 0:56:31- His face is just like a tabby. - Exactly.

0:56:31 > 0:56:33- He's like a lynx. - And they are absolute brothers,

0:56:33 > 0:56:38born at exactly the same time and we were only going to buy this one,

0:56:38 > 0:56:42weren't we? And then they said there was a brother.

0:56:43 > 0:56:47And it was so ridiculous, we just said, "OK."

0:56:48 > 0:56:52- Heaven's got the blue eyes. - Oh, my God, we've got three.- Yeah.

0:56:52 > 0:56:55- And this one is called Heaven?- Yeah.

0:56:55 > 0:56:57He is unbelievably beautiful, isn't he?

0:56:59 > 0:57:01I'm an anachronism, but I'm perfectly happy with that

0:57:01 > 0:57:05because I don't particularly like the era that we live in

0:57:05 > 0:57:09at the moment, it doesn't seem to be a terribly intelligent

0:57:09 > 0:57:15or terribly creative one so I'm only slowly stumbling

0:57:15 > 0:57:16in the direction of most technology.

0:57:16 > 0:57:20- I use e-mail, I think that's very useful.- He's good on Twitter.

0:57:20 > 0:57:23- He's got three million followers. - So why Twitter?

0:57:23 > 0:57:26Because I understand Twitter, which is that some people wish to

0:57:26 > 0:57:30receive occasional silly messages.

0:57:30 > 0:57:33And I do that because, as Stephen Fry pointed out,

0:57:33 > 0:57:35if you've got lots of people following you on Twitter,

0:57:35 > 0:57:39you don't have to do interviews with treacherous British newspapers.

0:57:39 > 0:57:41Three million followers, I'm quite impressed.

0:57:41 > 0:57:43How long have you been doing it for?

0:57:43 > 0:57:45I've been twittering for about two years.

0:57:45 > 0:57:48- What about twerking? - Twerking is different.

0:57:48 > 0:57:50- What Prince Harry does. - Yes, twerking is different.

0:57:50 > 0:57:53- Twerking is doing my dance, J, when I do my dance.- Oh, yes.

0:57:53 > 0:57:55- That's twerking.- That's correct.

0:57:55 > 0:57:58- Mr Cleese, welcome.- Thank you.

0:57:58 > 0:58:00- How are you?- Very well indeed, sir!

0:58:00 > 0:58:03In the publishing world, John Cleese's autobiography is

0:58:03 > 0:58:06the hottest non-fiction title of the year.

0:58:06 > 0:58:09Of course, it is a work in progress.

0:58:09 > 0:58:11Are you enjoying writing?

0:58:11 > 0:58:13Yes, and I found a way into writing

0:58:13 > 0:58:18because once you get into it, it is almost difficult to stop.

0:58:18 > 0:58:22Because you get so involved with it, it is like a crossword

0:58:22 > 0:58:25that you can't figure out, you just don't want to let it go.

0:58:25 > 0:58:28I'm really interested that you appear to be writing

0:58:28 > 0:58:30your autobiography in long hand.

0:58:30 > 0:58:33Yes, I know, it's the most natural thing in the world for me

0:58:33 > 0:58:35and I write...

0:58:36 > 0:58:39..about 300 words a page.

0:58:39 > 0:58:44- Nothing crossed out, I notice. - Ah.- Rubber.- Rubber.

0:58:44 > 0:58:47And I will do quite a lot of this,

0:58:47 > 0:58:51I'll sometimes rewrite a sentence three or four times.

0:58:51 > 0:58:54- How is your memory? - Better than I thought.

0:58:54 > 0:58:58You suddenly remember, "Oh, yes," and that was part of another memory.

0:58:58 > 0:59:03And it gives you kind of an overview of your life. You know,

0:59:03 > 0:59:05you tend to look at your life in little chunks.

0:59:05 > 0:59:08And you begin to piece the whole thing together again.

0:59:08 > 0:59:10And to kind of recover it.

0:59:12 > 0:59:14I remember filming in particular

0:59:14 > 0:59:17I always found strangely dissatisfying.

0:59:17 > 0:59:20I could do a good day's work in front of the camera, but when I went

0:59:20 > 0:59:24home afterwards I didn't feel I had done anything of substance.

0:59:24 > 0:59:28Whereas if I sat down with a few sheets of paper and wrote

0:59:28 > 0:59:33a three-minute sketch, at the end of the day I had created something

0:59:33 > 0:59:37and that seemed to be satisfactory in a way that acting wasn't.

0:59:39 > 0:59:41What's on the television then?

0:59:44 > 0:59:45Looks like a penguin.

0:59:47 > 0:59:50No, no, no, I didn't mean what's on the television set?

0:59:50 > 0:59:53- I meant what programme!- Oh...

0:59:54 > 0:59:58John Cleese's writing partner was the late Graham Chapman.

0:59:58 > 1:00:00Together, they created some of Python's

1:00:00 > 1:00:02most memorable comic moments.

1:00:05 > 1:00:08Funny that penguin being there, innit?

1:00:08 > 1:00:11You must miss Graham? I'm sure you miss Graham?

1:00:11 > 1:00:13Yes, I miss Graham. Yes. Yes.

1:00:13 > 1:00:16We used to really laugh at the same things and we had in some ways

1:00:16 > 1:00:19very similar minds and in others, completely different.

1:00:19 > 1:00:20I wish to make a complaint.

1:00:20 > 1:00:23- Sorry, we are closing for lunch. - Never mind that, my lad.

1:00:23 > 1:00:24I wish to complain about this parrot what

1:00:24 > 1:00:27I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.

1:00:27 > 1:00:29Oh, yes? The Norwegian blue. What's wrong with it?

1:00:29 > 1:00:31I'll tell you what's wrong with it.

1:00:31 > 1:00:33It's dead, that is what's wrong with it.

1:00:33 > 1:00:37- The Parrot Sketch, that was the two of you, wasn't it?- Yes. We did.

1:00:37 > 1:00:39Thanks to Monsieur Roget.

1:00:39 > 1:00:43- So, how did that happen? - I discovered this book...

1:00:43 > 1:00:46I mean, I was at Cambridge and I discovered it

1:00:46 > 1:00:50and it still gives me more fun than any other book I have ever read!

1:00:50 > 1:00:54- It is pining! - It is not pining, it has passed on!

1:00:54 > 1:00:56This parrot is no more.

1:00:56 > 1:00:59It has ceased to be!

1:00:59 > 1:01:03It's expired and gone to meet its maker.

1:01:03 > 1:01:06This is a late parrot.

1:01:06 > 1:01:10Graham and I would spend a lot of time choosing the words,

1:01:10 > 1:01:13sometimes and then we would hear how popular the show was in Japan.

1:01:13 > 1:01:16And we thought,

1:01:16 > 1:01:18"What are we bothering for?"

1:01:18 > 1:01:22I am not prepared to pursue my line of inquiry any further,

1:01:22 > 1:01:23as I think this is getting too silly.

1:01:23 > 1:01:27Silly, silly, silly! Right.

1:01:27 > 1:01:29Get on with it!

1:01:29 > 1:01:30Get on with it!

1:01:32 > 1:01:35Graham Chapman, co-author

1:01:35 > 1:01:38of the Parrot Sketch, is no more.

1:01:38 > 1:01:39He has ceased to be.

1:01:41 > 1:01:44Bereft of life, he rests in peace.

1:01:44 > 1:01:49Cleese and Graham together were the best comedy writers of their era.

1:01:49 > 1:01:55You know, their sketches would just sparkle. It was just solid laughs.

1:01:55 > 1:01:59I could hear him whispering in my ear last night as I was writing this.

1:01:59 > 1:02:02"All right, Cleese, you were saying you are very proud of being

1:02:02 > 1:02:07"the very first person ever to say 'shit' on British television.

1:02:07 > 1:02:12"If this service is really for me, just for starters,

1:02:12 > 1:02:15"I want you to become the first person ever

1:02:15 > 1:02:18"at a British memorial service to say 'fuck'."

1:02:27 > 1:02:30Of course there is one person missing in the room - Graham.

1:02:30 > 1:02:34Graham was missing, dear Gra. "Oh, I'm sorry I'm a bit late, traffic."

1:02:34 > 1:02:40Um... Well, one of the things I always felt was a drawback

1:02:40 > 1:02:43when we were discussing Python reunions 15 years ago, would be -

1:02:43 > 1:02:46will someone come in and play Graham in the sketches?

1:02:46 > 1:02:47How do we do it?

1:02:47 > 1:02:51And because Python was very much six people writing and performing,

1:02:51 > 1:02:53it is like a six-legged table.

1:02:53 > 1:02:55Take away one and it is going to wobble a bit.

1:02:55 > 1:02:57Things have changed so much

1:02:57 > 1:03:01that we can now use of little grabs of Graham

1:03:01 > 1:03:04and put them on the screen and just bring him in

1:03:04 > 1:03:07as we are going to at certain points.

1:03:07 > 1:03:09"Very silly. That's enough!"

1:03:09 > 1:03:11- Oh, well, bye for now, Frank. Must toddle.- Right!

1:03:11 > 1:03:15- You two hermits, stop that sketch. I think it's silly.- What?

1:03:15 > 1:03:17- It's silly.- What do you mean? You can't stop it, it's on film.

1:03:17 > 1:03:20Doesn't make any difference to the viewer at home, does it?

1:03:20 > 1:03:22Come on, get up. Come on, out.

1:03:22 > 1:03:25'I'm looking forward to that. Really looking forward to that.'

1:03:25 > 1:03:27It will be very touching, really, because...

1:03:27 > 1:03:30you know, it is sad he's not around for it.

1:03:32 > 1:03:34Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

1:03:34 > 1:03:39It is truly a real honourable experience to be here this evening.

1:03:39 > 1:03:41..I'd like to sing for all of you.

1:03:41 > 1:03:46# It's Christmas in heaven, da da da da da da... #

1:03:46 > 1:03:48And so he starts it on screen.

1:03:48 > 1:03:51# It's Christmas in heaven,

1:03:51 > 1:03:54# All the children sing... #

1:03:54 > 1:03:58But then we'll bring on all our girls in those rather naughty

1:03:58 > 1:04:01- titty costumes which we used in The Meaning Of Life.- Yes. Yes.

1:04:01 > 1:04:05And the boys will be in white tuxes and we'll have snow...

1:04:05 > 1:04:07# ..But it's nice and warm

1:04:07 > 1:04:12# And everyone look looks smart and wears a tie... #

1:04:12 > 1:04:13- This is our finale...- Yes.

1:04:13 > 1:04:15So we are going to get it going really disco.

1:04:15 > 1:04:17We have gone live with the band.

1:04:17 > 1:04:19And we get the audience to join in,

1:04:19 > 1:04:22and it just gets bigger and bigger and bigger.

1:04:22 > 1:04:25# It's Christmas, it's Christmas in heaven

1:04:25 > 1:04:29# Hip, hip, hip hooray! #

1:04:29 > 1:04:32We use this as our play-off music and then they know it's the end.

1:04:32 > 1:04:35MONTY PYTHON THEME: "The Liberty Bell" by JP Sousa

1:04:50 > 1:04:53TUBA PLAYS

1:04:53 > 1:04:56Yes, it's another book launch.

1:04:56 > 1:04:59Bear with us. I think it's...

1:04:59 > 1:05:01I think it's Michael's.

1:05:01 > 1:05:04Yes, that's Michael.

1:05:04 > 1:05:09Sorry, I have just seen John Cleese's autobiography advertised.

1:05:09 > 1:05:11There it is. It's called 'So, Anyway...'

1:05:11 > 1:05:15I wonder when that is coming out? We could be touring at the same time.

1:05:15 > 1:05:17We could both be in Northampton.

1:05:17 > 1:05:20You very rarely get a Python congratulating another Python

1:05:20 > 1:05:23about anything that they have done outside Python.

1:05:23 > 1:05:28When John talks about my travel programmes, he always goes,

1:05:28 > 1:05:30"Michael, are you going to do any more of those...

1:05:31 > 1:05:34"..travel programmes?"

1:05:34 > 1:05:37He's away travelling, he's doing one of those...

1:05:37 > 1:05:39Michael's travel programmes.

1:05:39 > 1:05:40LAUGHTER

1:05:40 > 1:05:42Have you seen Michael's travel programmes?

1:05:42 > 1:05:45LAUGHTER

1:05:45 > 1:05:47I'm sure he'll be back soon.

1:05:49 > 1:05:53You know, we all sort of have a go.

1:05:53 > 1:05:57I say, "Oh, John, who is writing your autobiography this year?"

1:05:57 > 1:05:59That sort of thing. Of course we emulate each other.

1:05:59 > 1:06:03We are seeing what other people are doing. You can't just stop.

1:06:03 > 1:06:06You say, "Well, I can do that, and I can do something even better.

1:06:06 > 1:06:07"I'm far more popular."

1:06:11 > 1:06:13It's opening night for Terry's opera.

1:06:13 > 1:06:15In this morning's Guardian, there is

1:06:15 > 1:06:18a diary piece which is pretty damning about the production,

1:06:18 > 1:06:22describing it as a complete mess.

1:06:22 > 1:06:25The author - Terry Gilliam. Enough said.

1:06:25 > 1:06:29Still, when I find him, he seems on pretty good form.

1:06:29 > 1:06:34Backstage is a miracle place. Every day, miracles are performed.

1:06:34 > 1:06:37Impossible situations are made possible. Thanks to them.

1:06:39 > 1:06:43- They can't afford proper clothes, but...- How are you feeling?

1:06:43 > 1:06:45I'm fine, I'm just numb. I just want to go to bed.

1:06:45 > 1:06:48I'm not even sure if I want to sit around for the show!

1:06:48 > 1:06:52Finally, after two years of planning and months of rehearsal,

1:06:52 > 1:06:54the moment of truth.

1:06:54 > 1:06:56Is it any good?

1:06:56 > 1:06:59OPERATIC SINGING

1:07:05 > 1:07:08The answer is a resounding yes.

1:07:15 > 1:07:18Five-star reviews will follow tomorrow.

1:07:18 > 1:07:23But tonight belongs to Terry Gilliam, the eternal wayward child.

1:07:23 > 1:07:26Not just a Python, not just a film director,

1:07:26 > 1:07:31an old dog who just can't stop learning new tricks.

1:07:31 > 1:07:33I am a complete novice in this business.

1:07:33 > 1:07:38But it was partly trying to learn a new job and we are continuing it.

1:07:38 > 1:07:41I don't know where it leads, but it is a completely different process

1:07:41 > 1:07:43from making films, that's all.

1:07:43 > 1:07:47And so, as you reach the final act of your life,

1:07:47 > 1:07:49it is nice to try something new.

1:07:55 > 1:07:58Do you feel old?

1:07:58 > 1:08:01It is one reason that I like working with young people, they are a mirror.

1:08:01 > 1:08:05I must be about their age! Oh, 27? Oh, yeah, I feel 27!

1:08:05 > 1:08:08No, what it is, I think it is

1:08:08 > 1:08:12the basic manic-depressive ride that I'm on.

1:08:12 > 1:08:16So Maggie, my wife, knows just how miserable I am.

1:08:16 > 1:08:20But then something happens when you start playing. It's off again.

1:08:20 > 1:08:23Maybe it's not too late to learn to juggle.

1:08:23 > 1:08:27I just need to keep enough going to get to the end

1:08:27 > 1:08:29and then I can fall over dead.

1:08:29 > 1:08:32It's no good, I just can't go on,

1:08:32 > 1:08:34I'm no good any more.

1:08:35 > 1:08:38I want to end it all!

1:08:38 > 1:08:39Goodbye!

1:08:39 > 1:08:40Goodbye!

1:08:40 > 1:08:47Aaaaaaargh!

1:08:47 > 1:08:51I don't feel as though I am any older,

1:08:51 > 1:08:55mentally, or even physically, than I was when we did the Python shows.

1:08:55 > 1:08:57And of course, I look in the mirror and I'm very old.

1:08:57 > 1:09:00What I think what is going to be one of the most difficult things

1:09:00 > 1:09:02is the quick changes. When you are over 70,

1:09:02 > 1:09:05there is no quick way to get your trousers on and off.

1:09:05 > 1:09:08I haven't actually practised taking my trousers on and off quickly.

1:09:08 > 1:09:10Would that I had that sort of life.

1:09:10 > 1:09:15Um... But I think Velcro will be the order of the day.

1:09:15 > 1:09:19This could be the Pythons' Velcro night.

1:09:19 > 1:09:26PEOPLE SING AND PRACTISE IN BACKGROUND

1:09:26 > 1:09:29And, you know, we might all die by the end of it.

1:09:29 > 1:09:30Or even during it.

1:09:33 > 1:09:35I am Death!

1:09:35 > 1:09:37Yes, well, the thing is, we've got

1:09:37 > 1:09:40- some people from America for dinner tonight.- Who is it, darling?

1:09:40 > 1:09:43It's a Mr Death or something, he has come about the reaping.

1:09:43 > 1:09:44I don't think we need any, the moment.

1:09:44 > 1:09:49Hello. Well, don't leave him hanging around outside, darling. Ask him in.

1:09:55 > 1:10:00- All right, Terry?- Good luck to us. ERIC IDLE:- No, no problem at all...

1:10:01 > 1:10:04- Are the lads gathered? - Here's Michael, he's here.

1:10:04 > 1:10:06Oh, the lads are gathered.

1:10:06 > 1:10:10- I think one more song before we go. - All right.

1:10:14 > 1:10:16# My time's almost done

1:10:17 > 1:10:19# My course almost run

1:10:20 > 1:10:24# I stand at the edge of that shore

1:10:26 > 1:10:30# I feel the tide

1:10:30 > 1:10:33# Mocking my pride

1:10:33 > 1:10:38# I'd like to hide, but what for?

1:10:39 > 1:10:42# We all get a while

1:10:42 > 1:10:45# To sing and to smile

1:10:45 > 1:10:51# But life has just one fatal flaw

1:10:51 > 1:10:54# When our course is run

1:10:54 > 1:10:58# We all fade from the sun

1:10:58 > 1:11:03# When all said and done, say no more

1:11:03 > 1:11:06# No more. #

1:11:06 > 1:11:09STAGE MANAGER: OK, thank you.

1:11:09 > 1:11:13- Thank you, gents. Have a good show. - Thank you.- Hey, we're ready!

1:11:15 > 1:11:17MONTY PYTHON THEME: "The Liberty Bell" by JP Sousa

1:11:17 > 1:11:20AUDIENCE CLAP ALONG

1:11:20 > 1:11:22If you have enjoyed this record,

1:11:22 > 1:11:26you may be interested to know that there is an exhibition

1:11:26 > 1:11:29of old sketches at Sir Henry Irving's birthplace

1:11:29 > 1:11:31where you can also see the lady with the big knockers

1:11:31 > 1:11:32in the jam commercial.

1:11:32 > 1:11:34You know, the one...

1:11:34 > 1:11:35Ooh, what's her name...

1:11:35 > 1:11:38Ooh, that one...

1:11:38 > 1:11:40You know...