The Art of Stand-Up - Part Two

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0:00:02 > 0:00:07This programme contains some very strong language

0:00:07 > 0:00:09The process of writing is you sit in a room and you fire ideas out.

0:00:09 > 0:00:12Anal sex...

0:00:12 > 0:00:15They don't start as stories, they start as...

0:00:15 > 0:00:16A Range Rover...

0:00:16 > 0:00:18...little observations.

0:00:18 > 0:00:19Slush puppies.

0:00:19 > 0:00:22You can be either too funny or you don't feel you're giving

0:00:22 > 0:00:24enough content.

0:00:24 > 0:00:27Ah! Holy shit.

0:00:27 > 0:00:30It's nice but not necessary if there's a point.

0:00:30 > 0:00:32But Mrs Thatcher...

0:00:32 > 0:00:34That's a license for comedy not to be funny.

0:00:34 > 0:00:37In Britain if you don't like a comic you heckle them.

0:00:37 > 0:00:39In the Middle East we hang them.

0:00:39 > 0:00:43I invent almost nothing, I embroider...

0:00:43 > 0:00:45What's that star? It's the death star.

0:00:45 > 0:00:47What does it do? It does death!

0:00:47 > 0:00:49It's all stuff they can grab hold of.

0:00:49 > 0:00:52I have a flight tomorrow I have to get up at four.

0:00:52 > 0:00:55I'm 22 years old, I still live with my parents.

0:00:55 > 0:00:58The best comics will be able to take you on a journey,

0:00:58 > 0:01:01tell you something interesting, make you think.

0:01:00 > 0:01:01I'm here.

0:01:01 > 0:01:05In a way for me it was discovering I had almost nothing to say.

0:01:05 > 0:01:08You wanted to go out, you felt like going out, and now you've done it.

0:01:08 > 0:01:11We might not be as verbally smart as they are...

0:01:11 > 0:01:14But you have to go back.

0:01:14 > 0:01:15But our tradition is important.

0:01:15 > 0:01:18Steve, what is comedy?

0:01:18 > 0:01:19Mmmm.

0:01:19 > 0:01:24I'm loving being a part of this, this idea of elevating comedy to the status of art.

0:01:24 > 0:01:31Comedy is the ability to make people laugh without making them puke.

0:01:49 > 0:01:51What about the writing? Where do you get your material?

0:01:51 > 0:01:53Where do I get my crazy ideas?

0:01:53 > 0:01:55Where do you tend to draw your material from?

0:01:55 > 0:01:58Do you actually write it down?

0:02:00 > 0:02:02I'm at the beginning of the process of writing a new

0:02:02 > 0:02:04show which is the hardest part.

0:02:04 > 0:02:07People always think that the hard part is standing on stage

0:02:07 > 0:02:09because they can't imagine doing it themselves.

0:02:09 > 0:02:11That's fine, we're show-offs.

0:02:11 > 0:02:14I open my eyes as much as possible. I'm looking at everything.

0:02:14 > 0:02:18I start going, "Oh, shoes..." and any possible rubbish

0:02:18 > 0:02:21observation about floor boards or ceilings or anything.

0:02:21 > 0:02:25Ah, he's wearing glasses, I wonder if there were three lenses

0:02:25 > 0:02:28on glasses... It doesn't make any sense.

0:02:28 > 0:02:30Pylons, why are they that shape?

0:02:30 > 0:02:32Next door's wind chimes.

0:02:32 > 0:02:35They're that shape cos it's structurally sound!

0:02:35 > 0:02:39I found a big thing on material is the day before stuff happened.

0:02:39 > 0:02:42Like at the moment I'm doing the Stone Age and the day before

0:02:42 > 0:02:46the Stone Age when someone trips over a stone and goes "For fuck's sake!"

0:02:46 > 0:02:50Things happen to you in your life, bad things sometimes, and you're

0:02:50 > 0:02:53not thinking like a human being, you're suddenly thinking

0:02:53 > 0:02:56like a comic, what angle could I approach this from?

0:02:56 > 0:03:00I had no sense of inhibition about my private life,

0:03:00 > 0:03:02in fact that would be what I would mine entirely.

0:03:02 > 0:03:07My husband and I split up and I did jokes on Live At The Apollo.

0:03:07 > 0:03:09I remember I just liked the idea of an Indian bingo caller.

0:03:09 > 0:03:11Changing a light bulb.

0:03:11 > 0:03:16Import, export, cash and carry, send by truck or send by ferry,

0:03:16 > 0:03:19our chart, send it by freight 88.

0:03:19 > 0:03:23And you do that for a couple of months hopefully enough bare bones things appear.

0:03:23 > 0:03:2688. Then it had a bit more, "88."

0:03:26 > 0:03:30You are just spending every waking hour with,

0:03:30 > 0:03:33viewing everything in a skewed way.

0:03:33 > 0:03:37HE GIBBERS

0:03:37 > 0:03:3933

0:03:47 > 0:03:50It's just finding your voice and finding what it is

0:03:50 > 0:03:55that you want to say, or don't want to say, and in a way, for me,

0:03:55 > 0:03:57it was discovering I had almost nothing to say.

0:03:59 > 0:04:02I long to be on my own in a house sometimes.

0:04:02 > 0:04:05It's just ruined by little domestic things that you have to do.

0:04:05 > 0:04:08The washing machine finishes,

0:04:08 > 0:04:12I don't empty it, to be honest. I just switch it on again. Fuck it.

0:04:12 > 0:04:15Often, it's somewhat dismissed as "Oh, it's observational comedy"

0:04:15 > 0:04:19but when it's done well I think it's very exciting.

0:04:19 > 0:04:23If you watch it for 15 minutes, stock still. Nothing.

0:04:23 > 0:04:25Then you go to open it, it goes, wwwooooo!

0:04:30 > 0:04:34Things used to be quite simple, like buying a shampoo.

0:04:34 > 0:04:37Do you remember you used to be able to go into a shop,

0:04:37 > 0:04:40"Excuse me, can I have a shampoo?"

0:04:40 > 0:04:44They don't start as stories, they start as...

0:04:44 > 0:04:47as little observations.

0:04:47 > 0:04:51You go into Boots the chemist, there's about five lanes of shampoo,

0:04:51 > 0:04:53six deep.

0:04:53 > 0:04:56All different colours, things you never heard of in your life.

0:04:56 > 0:04:58Jojoba.

0:04:58 > 0:05:01Whatever happened to soap?

0:05:04 > 0:05:07Jojoba!

0:05:07 > 0:05:09I says, "What's jojoba?"

0:05:09 > 0:05:12In Glasgow, that's the month before November.

0:05:14 > 0:05:18I've always equated it to surfing, the kind of wave comes

0:05:18 > 0:05:21but I'm not listening to it, I'm not glorifying in it,

0:05:21 > 0:05:25let it wash over me, I'm listening to the sort of timbre of it.

0:05:25 > 0:05:28When it gets to a certain point I step onto it.

0:05:28 > 0:05:31"What kind of hair is it for?" I said, "pubic hair."

0:05:34 > 0:05:36What?

0:05:36 > 0:05:39Find that in your fancy labels, you bastard.

0:05:39 > 0:05:40Because they're talking to you,

0:05:40 > 0:05:43they're actually saying, "Oh, that was very good."

0:05:43 > 0:05:46And before they get the word good out - shhhhwt.

0:05:46 > 0:05:48Do you know what's always intrigued me?

0:05:48 > 0:05:54The way pubic hair only grows to a certain length and then stops.

0:05:54 > 0:05:58I think it would be brilliant, you know, if your pubic hair

0:05:58 > 0:06:02just kept growing,

0:06:02 > 0:06:05right out the legs of your trousers.

0:06:08 > 0:06:09And it starts to take shape

0:06:09 > 0:06:14and then it becomes a completely different thing than it started out.

0:06:14 > 0:06:16And you could brush it, you could you could brush it,

0:06:16 > 0:06:19a hundred strokes a night.

0:06:24 > 0:06:28And when Billy Connolly is there showing you doing his, you know,

0:06:28 > 0:06:33his routine, his grooming with the jojoba shampoo,

0:06:33 > 0:06:36you're there with him. You're in a room with 3,500 people

0:06:36 > 0:06:38but everybody is in the same place.

0:06:38 > 0:06:41You could back-comb it.

0:06:41 > 0:06:44When I think of Billy Connolly's shows,

0:06:44 > 0:06:47it's like when BBC1 shows all it's programmes again

0:06:47 > 0:06:51with the deaf woman standing next to it. It's like that.

0:06:51 > 0:06:54He's the woman in the corner telling the story,

0:06:54 > 0:06:57but I can see the stories that he's telling.

0:06:57 > 0:06:59That's what I remember about those routines.

0:06:59 > 0:07:02- Chi-ching! - 'That's amazingly powerful.'

0:07:02 > 0:07:06There's a lesson for us all there, don't squander your money

0:07:06 > 0:07:09on hair conditioners, wear underpants on your head.

0:07:09 > 0:07:12Don't you think?

0:07:12 > 0:07:15Ladies and gentleman, Jerry Seinfeld.

0:07:18 > 0:07:24He was one of the first people to talk about normal life

0:07:24 > 0:07:27in a way that sort, that took it away from very ordinary

0:07:27 > 0:07:30observational comedy and into something kind of modern.

0:07:30 > 0:07:34That there was a sort of modernity and an urban-ness, I guess -

0:07:34 > 0:07:37a New York sophisticated urban-ness, the way he talked about life.

0:07:37 > 0:07:40I love to travel, I love it whether it's a car

0:07:40 > 0:07:43or a plane, I like to get out there, I like to keep it moving.

0:07:43 > 0:07:45I love airports, I feel safe in airports,

0:07:45 > 0:07:51thanks to the high-calibre individuals we have working at X-ray security.

0:07:51 > 0:07:55How about this crack squad of savvy motivated personnel?

0:07:56 > 0:08:00The way you want to set up your airport security is you want

0:08:00 > 0:08:04the short heavy set woman at the front with the skin tight uniform.

0:08:06 > 0:08:09That's your first line of defence.

0:08:09 > 0:08:14You want those pants so tight the flap in front of the zipper has pulled itself open,

0:08:14 > 0:08:17you can see the metal tangs hanging on for dear life.

0:08:18 > 0:08:22When Jerry Seinfeld spends a lot of time thinking and focusing on a very

0:08:22 > 0:08:25small thing, he's saying this is the art of the inconsequential.

0:08:25 > 0:08:29That is both funny and in it is the seeds of comedy's own downfall,

0:08:29 > 0:08:32you are both doing something brilliant and sort of saying

0:08:32 > 0:08:35and that's why I won't win any awards and be considered

0:08:35 > 0:08:37as important as Beethoven.

0:08:37 > 0:08:42- No, but I will be a multi-multi millionaire. Not bad. - Yeah, that's true!

0:08:42 > 0:08:45The Olympics is really my favourite sporting event.

0:08:45 > 0:08:49Although I think I have a problem with that silver medal.

0:08:49 > 0:08:52I think if I was an Olympic athlete I would rather come in last

0:08:52 > 0:08:54than win the silver, if you think about it.

0:08:54 > 0:08:57You know you win the gold, you feel good.

0:08:57 > 0:09:00You win the bronze you think, well, at least I got something.

0:09:00 > 0:09:04But you win that silver, that's like congratulations you almost won.

0:09:04 > 0:09:07Of all the losers, you came in first of that group.

0:09:09 > 0:09:12You're the number one loser.

0:09:12 > 0:09:15When people begin to write comedy

0:09:15 > 0:09:18a lot of the time they mistake that, the idea of the comicality of it,

0:09:18 > 0:09:23so what they do is they think what is in the community chest of shared knowledge

0:09:23 > 0:09:25that I can sort of tap into?

0:09:25 > 0:09:28When I was just started, people might talk about say

0:09:28 > 0:09:31train-spotters wearing anoraks as a kind of cliche.

0:09:31 > 0:09:35Whereas in fact what you should do is find something idiosyncratic

0:09:35 > 0:09:40about your own life and you put it in the dark and then you hope that people know about it.

0:09:40 > 0:09:45Michael McIntyre, he was talking about asking for directions.

0:09:45 > 0:09:49You have certain times when you're allowed to talk to people you don't know.

0:09:49 > 0:09:55The time is one, directions is another one, you can ask anyone directions.

0:09:55 > 0:10:00Now critics of Michael McIntyre will say that's why he's a generic

0:10:00 > 0:10:03comedian who deals with ordinary stuff.

0:10:03 > 0:10:06But he'd done quite a bit about asking for directions

0:10:06 > 0:10:08and then he got microscopic.

0:10:08 > 0:10:12Sometimes you don't need all the directions, you know quite a lot of the directions.

0:10:12 > 0:10:16For example, you know that where you need to be is over there.

0:10:16 > 0:10:19You just don't know where over there it is.

0:10:19 > 0:10:21So you call upon a stranger to help you.

0:10:21 > 0:10:23But then you'll say "Do you know the way?"

0:10:23 > 0:10:26And they immediately go, "Ah you want to go down there."

0:10:26 > 0:10:30And as soon as they've started talking you think this man knows nothing.

0:10:30 > 0:10:33I'm wasting my time with this person.

0:10:33 > 0:10:35But you can't stop him, you can't just go you're wrong,

0:10:35 > 0:10:38cos that's that makes you look like a weirdo.

0:10:38 > 0:10:42You can't go, "No, it isn't."

0:10:42 > 0:10:45Like I've just decided to quiz you on geography!

0:10:45 > 0:10:48A-ahh, you don't know where you are!

0:10:48 > 0:10:51You have to listen to them to tell you the whole thing

0:10:51 > 0:10:55and not only that when they finish you have to walk the wrong way!

0:10:55 > 0:11:00You can't have someone go, "You want to go straight down there" and go, "Thank you so much."

0:11:00 > 0:11:04It's brilliant observation but it's also someone who's

0:11:04 > 0:11:08clearly thought asking for directions, I'm going to find

0:11:08 > 0:11:12the sort of deep specifics, I'm going go to the deep space of asking for directions

0:11:12 > 0:11:14until I find something so complicated and baroque

0:11:14 > 0:11:18about what you get into that it'll be really funny and new.

0:11:18 > 0:11:23And that is where that observation becomes a brilliant art form.

0:11:29 > 0:11:33Eddie is a natural comedian because he understands

0:11:33 > 0:11:37the juxtaposition of reality and craziness.

0:11:37 > 0:11:41He understands humour.

0:11:41 > 0:11:47There's gotta be some reality against some flight of fantasy.

0:11:47 > 0:11:50The Death Star's almost like a New York name,

0:11:50 > 0:11:51the Death Star, get to the point.

0:11:51 > 0:11:55What's that star? It's the death star. What does it do? It does death!

0:11:56 > 0:11:59It does death, buddy. Get outta my way!

0:12:02 > 0:12:05You with your centilitres and your millilitres

0:12:05 > 0:12:09and your fucking combine harvesters.

0:12:09 > 0:12:12I used to hitch up from London to Sheffield Uni for about three

0:12:12 > 0:12:15or four years and it was getting off at service stations,

0:12:15 > 0:12:19or being dropped off service stations and it was

0:12:19 > 0:12:22Darth Vader probably at Leicester Forest East service station.

0:12:22 > 0:12:24There must have been a Death Star canteen.

0:12:24 > 0:12:28There must have been a cafeteria downstairs in between battles

0:12:28 > 0:12:33where Darth Vader could just chill and go down, "I will have the Penne Alla Arrabiata."

0:12:33 > 0:12:38- "You'll need a tray." - "Do you know who I am?"

0:12:38 > 0:12:41The first stand up I got into was Eddie Izzard, I remember

0:12:41 > 0:12:44saving up for his VHS tapes.

0:12:44 > 0:12:46"I can kill you with a single thought."

0:12:46 > 0:12:48"Well, you'll still need a tray."

0:12:48 > 0:12:52"No, I will not need a tray, I do not need a tray to kill you."

0:12:52 > 0:12:58And I was really intrigued by how he was making what he was saying,

0:12:58 > 0:13:01I didn't know why it was funny and I just felt like I needed to figure it out.

0:13:01 > 0:13:06Because he was so unique and so original.

0:13:06 > 0:13:11"I can kill you without a tray, with the power of the force which is strong within me.

0:13:11 > 0:13:15"Even though I could kill you with a tray if I so wished

0:13:15 > 0:13:18"for I would hack at your neck with the thin bit

0:13:18 > 0:13:21"until the blood flowed upon the canteen floor."

0:13:21 > 0:13:24"The food is hot, you'll need a tray to put the food on."

0:13:24 > 0:13:29"Oh, see the food is hot, I'm sorry I did not realise."

0:13:29 > 0:13:32I transcribed a couple of the tapes just to figure out what he was

0:13:32 > 0:13:36doing cos it just seemed so, it wasn't like set up punch,

0:13:36 > 0:13:38it was like what's he doing, I still don't know really,

0:13:38 > 0:13:43I'd underline words and go, well, is that the rule of three?

0:13:43 > 0:13:47It should be establish, reaffirm and you kill it on the third.

0:13:47 > 0:13:51But you can do it on the fourth. "He was tall, he was handsome, he was an idiot."

0:13:51 > 0:13:54"He was tall, he was handsome, he was splendid, he was an idiot."

0:13:54 > 0:13:56"He was tall, he was handsome, he was splendid,

0:13:56 > 0:13:58"he could play football, he was an idiot."

0:13:58 > 0:14:01You can you can do it to five, I think you do it to si...

0:14:01 > 0:14:03After a while people might get bored

0:14:03 > 0:14:06but you can keep reaffirming before you twist.

0:14:06 > 0:14:10I am Lord Vader, everyone challenges me to a fight to the death.

0:14:10 > 0:14:13Lord Vader, Darth Vader, I'm Darth Vader, Lord Vader, Sir Lord Vader,

0:14:13 > 0:14:17Sir Lord Dark Vader, Lord Darth, Sir Lord, Lord Vader of Cheam,

0:14:17 > 0:14:22Sir Lord Baron von Vaderham, the Death Star, I run the death star.

0:14:22 > 0:14:26"What's the Death Star?" This is the Death Star, you're in the death star, I run this star.

0:14:26 > 0:14:31This is a star? This is a fucking star, I run it, I'm your boss.

0:14:31 > 0:14:32"You're Mr Stevens?"

0:14:35 > 0:14:36No, I'm... Who is Mr Stevens?

0:14:36 > 0:14:40"He's head of catering." I'm not head of catering.

0:14:40 > 0:14:43I am Vader, I can kill catering with a thought.

0:14:43 > 0:14:44"What?"

0:14:44 > 0:14:48I can kill you all, I can kill me with a thought just fu...

0:14:48 > 0:14:50I'll get a tray, fuck it.

0:15:06 > 0:15:08My scientific theory, you have a theory

0:15:08 > 0:15:11and then see if you can prove it.

0:15:11 > 0:15:14Humour is human, it's not national, there is no French sense of humour,

0:15:14 > 0:15:16there's no British sense of humour, no American

0:15:16 > 0:15:19no Australian, no Indian sense of humour.

0:15:19 > 0:15:21It can quite easily be proven.

0:15:21 > 0:15:26Is the British sense of humour is it Python or is it Jim Davidson?

0:15:26 > 0:15:27You tell me.

0:15:27 > 0:15:30Well, exactly. There's obviously a few different senses of humour

0:15:30 > 0:15:34and I'm putting my money where my mouth is doing gigs in French.

0:15:34 > 0:15:37It all leads round to I thought I should do it in French,

0:15:37 > 0:15:40I should do it in German, which I did at school.

0:15:40 > 0:15:44I want to do Russian, Arabic cos I was born in an Arabic country,

0:15:44 > 0:15:47Spanish, Mandarin's right at the end of the list.

0:15:47 > 0:15:54I don't know if I'll get to all of them but I hopefully will.

0:15:54 > 0:15:58HE SPEAKS IN BROKEN FRENCH

0:15:58 > 0:16:01For fuck's sake!

0:16:01 > 0:16:04I can see why the French would like the show anyway because...

0:16:04 > 0:16:08There's a lot of philosophy in what you do.

0:16:08 > 0:16:10Yeah, it's a humanists' kind of show.

0:16:55 > 0:16:57So you were on the street before you were in the clubs?

0:16:57 > 0:17:00- Yeah, five years on the street. - Five years?

0:17:00 > 0:17:05Yeah, four and a half, five years. That gives me...that gives me a huge edge.

0:17:05 > 0:17:08- Roberto!- Eduardo!- En Garde!

0:17:11 > 0:17:15I thought it looked really easy. Wonderful - you stand on a street,

0:17:15 > 0:17:18you do stuff, everyone laughs and laughs, they give you cash.

0:17:18 > 0:17:21If you stay back there, we're going to do the show here.

0:17:21 > 0:17:23It's very hard to hold their attention

0:17:23 > 0:17:26because they can do anything - there's no walls, they didn't pay.

0:17:26 > 0:17:29They pay at the end if they pay and so you have to do stuff.

0:17:29 > 0:17:33Say, "We're going to kill this kid", and then they laugh.

0:17:33 > 0:17:36The idea of killing the kid - it's like Tom and Jerry. You can

0:17:36 > 0:17:39threaten massive violence and they just laugh their socks off.

0:17:39 > 0:17:41It's a really odd thing.

0:17:41 > 0:17:43I ended up getting up on a huge unicycle

0:17:43 > 0:17:45and trying to escape from a pair of manacles.

0:17:45 > 0:17:47My name is Eddie Izzard.

0:17:47 > 0:17:49It's a rather strange name - it's got two Zs in it.

0:17:49 > 0:17:53- Are you ready?- I certainly am, old chap.- Are you steady?

0:17:53 > 0:17:56- This is an enormous build-up, isn't it?- Go!- OK.

0:17:58 > 0:18:04- CROWD:- Five, four, three, two, one!

0:18:04 > 0:18:07I'd been in the comedy clubs and the stand-ups were revered

0:18:07 > 0:18:12and speciality acts like us were treated like, oh, you're just

0:18:12 > 0:18:15the idiot who's coming on in between the people with the words.

0:18:15 > 0:18:18I just thought, I've got to be on that side of the fence.

0:19:33 > 0:19:36You really do believe that comedy is universal, do you?

0:19:36 > 0:19:41That we can find a way of communicating with everyone?

0:19:41 > 0:19:44I'm really trying to formulate my philosophy on life,

0:19:44 > 0:19:47my attitude towards life. So, melting pot? Great.

0:19:47 > 0:19:50I think that's a positive idea. I think that's the future for us.

0:19:50 > 0:19:53I think Europe should be a massive Manhattan.

0:19:53 > 0:19:55The world should be a massive Manhattan -

0:19:55 > 0:19:59the idea of everyone working together, different languages, different skills.

0:19:59 > 0:20:02It should touch, get through to progressive audiences

0:20:02 > 0:20:05all around the world. They're out there and I can go and find them.

0:20:08 > 0:20:13Can I tell you guys jokes? Can I tell you jokes today, sir?

0:20:13 > 0:20:17- These are good jokes. Can I tell you jokes today, miss? OK.- Another day.

0:20:17 > 0:20:21America invented stand-up, you know? stand-up and jazz are the two

0:20:21 > 0:20:24great American art forms of the 20th century.

0:20:24 > 0:20:25It's theirs.

0:20:25 > 0:20:28Can I tell you guys jokes today? All right.

0:20:31 > 0:20:35American is the mother tongue of stand-up comedy for me, you know?

0:20:35 > 0:20:39And my...favourite, favourite comedians

0:20:39 > 0:20:41are from the American tradition.

0:20:41 > 0:20:44- I'll do two jokes for 50 cents. - Have you got any 25 cent jokes?

0:20:44 > 0:20:47- I'll do one joke for 25 cents. - How about 12 cents?

0:20:47 > 0:20:49I won't tell you any jokes for 12 cents.

0:20:49 > 0:20:52- You can't tell me a joke for 12 cents?- I can't.

0:20:52 > 0:20:54Office workers are always doing stand- up bits

0:20:54 > 0:20:55at their Christmas parties.

0:20:55 > 0:21:00It's very much part of their... cultural upbringing.

0:21:00 > 0:21:04Can I tell you jokes today, miss? Yeah? Come on over.

0:21:04 > 0:21:08Did you see the Royal couple's visiting a rodeo when they come to the US?

0:21:08 > 0:21:10- Mm-hmmm. - They don't care about the show.

0:21:10 > 0:21:12They've just never seen poor people in real life.

0:21:12 > 0:21:18It's not a collaborative art, it's very individualistic

0:21:18 > 0:21:22and I think that's also why it's a very popular American form.

0:21:22 > 0:21:25The writer and the performer are the same person

0:21:25 > 0:21:29and there's no interference. It's all yours and you stand or you fall on it.

0:21:29 > 0:21:33It sort of has a little bit of that cowboy spirit in it, too.

0:21:35 > 0:21:39The advantage of New York City is that there is

0:21:39 > 0:21:43a lot of opportunity for stage time and no comedian can become a comedian

0:21:43 > 0:21:46without access to those precious minutes on stage.

0:21:48 > 0:21:51The comedians that come out of New York, there's a style, for sure.

0:21:51 > 0:21:54You gotta deliver, you know?

0:21:54 > 0:21:56You can't mess around too much here.

0:21:56 > 0:21:59It's always innovative, it's always moving forward,

0:21:59 > 0:22:01it's a little more aggressive.

0:22:03 > 0:22:06- Reservations?- Yes. - What's your name?- Gina Antoniello.

0:22:09 > 0:22:12I hate the first spot. It's awful. It's the sacrificial lamb.

0:22:12 > 0:22:15I spent a little bit too much time at Starbucks over the last

0:22:15 > 0:22:17five hours and it's... it's fun over there.

0:22:17 > 0:22:20It's fun. Like when you give your order

0:22:20 > 0:22:22and sometimes they ask for your name.

0:22:22 > 0:22:24This morning, I gave them my Hebrew name.

0:22:24 > 0:22:27I was like," I'll have a decaff latte." "Sure, can I get your name?"

0:22:27 > 0:22:29"Yeah, Elazar Yaakov Ben Shlomo."

0:22:32 > 0:22:36She's like, "Erm, do you have a nickname or something?"

0:22:38 > 0:22:41"Well, my friends call me Jew bastard."

0:22:43 > 0:22:47"I'm not writing that on the cup, sir."

0:22:49 > 0:22:52"All right, fine. Then you could use my American Indian name,

0:22:52 > 0:22:54"Puts Nothing In Tip Jar."

0:22:57 > 0:23:01A minute later, I hear, "One decaff latte for a Jew bastard."

0:23:04 > 0:23:07I love the notion of writing a joke and then going up

0:23:07 > 0:23:12and telling it and it's just that immediate boom, boom, no notes

0:23:12 > 0:23:17from idiot network people and it was just like...there's nothing like it!

0:23:17 > 0:23:20Every accent has a weird relationship to one letter.

0:23:20 > 0:23:23Like the Russians, the Russian accent, that's the letter Y.

0:23:23 > 0:23:26They take the letter Y and they put it between every other letter.

0:23:26 > 0:23:29Take any sentence, like, "This traffic is unbelievable."

0:23:29 > 0:23:32It'd be like, "This traffyic is unybelievyable!

0:23:34 > 0:23:37"I canynot beliyeve yit!

0:23:39 > 0:23:43"We've beeyn sitting here for fifteyen minyutes."

0:23:43 > 0:23:44The Israeli accent, they take Ms

0:23:44 > 0:23:48and put it not between every other letter between every other word.

0:23:48 > 0:23:53"M want M to M go M to M get M and M..."

0:23:53 > 0:23:58What do you want, a bag of M and Ms? What the hell are you talking about?

0:23:58 > 0:24:01Comedy, to me, feels like playing hooky from school.

0:24:01 > 0:24:04You just...you can be funny. You can be the funny guy,

0:24:04 > 0:24:09the thing that's different from all the straight stuff that's going on.

0:24:09 > 0:24:14I've got my wife, I've got two little girls and two girl cats and me.

0:24:17 > 0:24:20Just like I dreamed of when I was a little boy.

0:24:20 > 0:24:25I used to sit alone at night and think to myself, I can't wait till

0:24:25 > 0:24:30I get rid of all my friends and just move into a house filled with girls.

0:24:30 > 0:24:35Just a home filled with emotion and eye-flashing mood tantrums

0:24:35 > 0:24:38and a hatred of everything I enjoy.

0:24:44 > 0:24:48It all comes from me and, you know, my life. So every time...

0:24:48 > 0:24:52every place that I am and everything that I'm going through,

0:24:52 > 0:24:55it kind of reflects that, you know?

0:24:55 > 0:24:59Now I'm in the middle of being a new parent and living in New York City.

0:24:59 > 0:25:01It's scary when they have nightmares.

0:25:01 > 0:25:04They come in in the middle of the night and stand at the foot of my bed.

0:25:04 > 0:25:07That's terrifying. They want comforting things

0:25:07 > 0:25:10from their father, like, "You'll be OK, honey."

0:25:10 > 0:25:13But when you get woken up out of a dead sleep by a tiny,

0:25:13 > 0:25:15screaming, crying, shadow person,

0:25:15 > 0:25:18your reaction is more like, "What are you?!"

0:25:20 > 0:25:23When you watch a really good comic and he's just being...

0:25:23 > 0:25:27It seems like he's just telling a story, he's being natural and...

0:25:27 > 0:25:30There's jokes in there. There's jokes in all of it.

0:25:30 > 0:25:32Now she has two reasons to be afraid.

0:25:32 > 0:25:35One, whatever weird dreams she had and now the giant man in his underpants

0:25:35 > 0:25:39pinning her to the ground. "Leave my family alone!"

0:25:42 > 0:25:44Everything comes from stand-up. Being a comedian is

0:25:44 > 0:25:48almost like getting your Bachelor's degree. You can do anything else.

0:25:48 > 0:25:49People become writers.

0:25:49 > 0:25:53I've spent the past two years looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer.

0:25:55 > 0:25:58But no-one will do it.

0:25:59 > 0:26:02My girlfriend now is great.

0:26:02 > 0:26:04My girlfriend now is awesome.

0:26:04 > 0:26:08If I had to nitpick, I'd say sometimes she's, like, a little bit too sensitive.

0:26:08 > 0:26:11Like the other day, she got her hair cut.

0:26:11 > 0:26:14Got two inches trimmed off of her hair

0:26:14 > 0:26:19and then came home and cried about it for two hours.

0:26:19 > 0:26:22Over a haircut. I couldn't believe it.

0:26:22 > 0:26:25Finally, I went to her. I said, "Baby, what are you so upset about?

0:26:25 > 0:26:27"It's just a haircut.

0:26:27 > 0:26:30"I'm the one that's got to find a new girlfriend.

0:26:31 > 0:26:36I will work, you know, for months to find a joke about breast cancer.

0:26:36 > 0:26:40Something that I can make people laugh at that's the worst thing imaginable.

0:26:40 > 0:26:43That's the challenge. That's when you get that great tension

0:26:43 > 0:26:47when the laugh is just this guttural... You don't want to laugh at it

0:26:47 > 0:26:48but you have to.

0:26:48 > 0:26:52Did you guys have a good father's day last weekend? I enjoyed it.

0:26:52 > 0:26:55My...my dad's been having a hard time lately.

0:26:55 > 0:26:58Keeps on losing his keys, you know?

0:26:58 > 0:27:01Literally can't hang on to a set of car keys to save his life.

0:27:01 > 0:27:02And he's tried everything, too.

0:27:02 > 0:27:08Little hook next to the door, little bowl next to his bed,

0:27:08 > 0:27:12one of those key chains, makes a noise when you whistle.

0:27:12 > 0:27:13Nothing worked.

0:27:13 > 0:27:17So finally this year, for father's day, the whole family

0:27:17 > 0:27:20chipped in and we put him in a home.

0:27:24 > 0:27:28When they killed Bin Laden, they found porn on his computers.

0:27:29 > 0:27:33And I'm dying to know what he was watching.

0:27:33 > 0:27:35Cos I have to know if Bin Laden and I

0:27:35 > 0:27:41had any cross-over titles, which would either make me

0:27:41 > 0:27:45really creepy or him a little cooler than I thought he was.

0:27:47 > 0:27:51He was in that shitty apartment, he had no air conditioning,

0:27:51 > 0:27:55no cell phone, no internet connection, three wives,

0:27:55 > 0:27:5823 children. You know who called the SEALs?

0:27:58 > 0:28:04He did. Yeah, I know where Bin Laden is.

0:28:05 > 0:28:09He's looking into a mirror crying again.

0:28:09 > 0:28:12He's got three PMS-ing women at the same time.

0:28:12 > 0:28:15I'll give you the exact address. Just promise to shoot

0:28:15 > 0:28:17wife number two first.

0:28:22 > 0:28:24It's cathartic, in a way.

0:28:24 > 0:28:26You know, I think comedians,

0:28:26 > 0:28:29they're kinda like dialysis machines in a way for the culture, you know?

0:28:29 > 0:28:33All of this stuff comes into them and they process it and they clean it up.

0:28:33 > 0:28:36And it's going through their system and it comes out. The blood

0:28:36 > 0:28:40is clean, it's better, it's stronger and healthier but it's theirs.

0:28:55 > 0:28:58It's funny - you can really tell

0:28:58 > 0:29:02what a society thinks about the race issue based on their census.

0:29:02 > 0:29:06So, look - this is the UK census. This is one of the first questions it keys in.

0:29:06 > 0:29:09How would you describe your national identity?

0:29:09 > 0:29:12English, Welsh, Scottish, Northern Irish, British, Other.

0:29:12 > 0:29:16Well, first of all, this is just different types of white people.

0:29:16 > 0:29:18Most of the planet is Other. What are you saying, UK?

0:29:18 > 0:29:20This basically says, please be white, for the love of God

0:29:20 > 0:29:23and country, please be white.

0:29:23 > 0:29:24The Queen would prefer it.

0:29:25 > 0:29:27People call me political.

0:29:27 > 0:29:30I certainly see agenda-based comedy, which I feel like is what

0:29:30 > 0:29:33I really think of it as. Comedy that has a agenda, has a point

0:29:33 > 0:29:35and wants you to think differently once you leave.

0:29:35 > 0:29:39You don't believe me? Look at the next question. Please be white.

0:29:39 > 0:29:42English, Welsh, Scottish, Northern Irish, British, Irish, Gypsy

0:29:42 > 0:29:46or Irish traveller, any other white background, please be white.

0:29:46 > 0:29:49You don't believe me? Here's the next question.

0:29:49 > 0:29:50Are you at least mixed with white?

0:29:50 > 0:29:52It would be the nice thing to do,

0:29:52 > 0:29:54just be mixed with a little bit of white.

0:29:54 > 0:29:57Are you Asian? Black?

0:29:57 > 0:30:02This is my favourite - are you other or Arab? Ah!

0:30:02 > 0:30:05Come on, UK! As obsessed as you are with Arab people, you stick them

0:30:05 > 0:30:08in the Other under Other category.

0:30:08 > 0:30:10That's fucking rude.

0:30:10 > 0:30:13And I think America certainly has a proud tradition of that,

0:30:13 > 0:30:17going back to Mort Sahl, Lenny Bruce, through George Carlin, so I think that

0:30:17 > 0:30:21there is a strong through line of that in American comedy.

0:30:23 > 0:30:26Mort Sahl was a standard-bearer. He was...

0:30:26 > 0:30:30He carried the political banner and it was fearless,

0:30:30 > 0:30:36and would actually assail the President, which had a lot...

0:30:36 > 0:30:39Very nervy, because I figured, well, the FBI will be camping on

0:30:39 > 0:30:42his door for the next 23 years, you know?

0:30:42 > 0:30:46When he was elected, President Kennedy, he didn't promise

0:30:46 > 0:30:50us an easy road and he said he's going to demand a lot of us.

0:30:50 > 0:30:53We didn't always know what he meant, you know?

0:30:53 > 0:30:55But he's usually ahead of us.

0:30:55 > 0:30:58For instance, he knew that it would take a week to go to the moon

0:30:58 > 0:31:01and come back with a five-man crew.

0:31:01 > 0:31:03Four men and a competitive woman. So...

0:31:03 > 0:31:07The audience back then didn't know what stand-up comedy was either.

0:31:07 > 0:31:10They were really sort of letting the performers do whatever they did

0:31:10 > 0:31:13and not judging it by laughs per minute or by how many

0:31:13 > 0:31:17drinks were sold at the bar. Like, they were just sort of, like,

0:31:17 > 0:31:18they were sort of witnessing it.

0:31:18 > 0:31:22They weren't coming from the tradition of stand-up as it currently existed.

0:31:22 > 0:31:25Lenny Bruce was one of the ones who actually made that transition.

0:31:25 > 0:31:28He had been a jokey-joke teller

0:31:28 > 0:31:32and was not getting any success or really having any fun doing that

0:31:32 > 0:31:36and he stepped over into the Mort Sahl tradition of, like, I'm a person

0:31:36 > 0:31:39in the world who sees things. It becomes more personal,

0:31:39 > 0:31:43because you're really talking about your specific perspective in your life.

0:31:45 > 0:31:49Are there any niggers here tonight? What did he say?

0:31:49 > 0:31:51Are there any niggers here tonight?

0:31:51 > 0:31:54Jesus Christ, he had to get that low for laughs?

0:31:54 > 0:31:58They told us what was heart-breaking

0:31:58 > 0:32:01and what was heart-breakingly funny out of life, you know?

0:32:01 > 0:32:07So it's a whole school of comedy, you know? The truth.

0:32:07 > 0:32:10There's two nigger customers,

0:32:10 > 0:32:13and, uh... But between those three niggers sits one kyke.

0:32:13 > 0:32:15Phew! Thank God for the kyke.

0:32:15 > 0:32:21That's two kykes and three niggers and one spic. One spic. Two, three spics.

0:32:21 > 0:32:26One mick. One mick, one spic, one hic, fic, funky spunky boogey.

0:32:27 > 0:32:32They set us free. They were like Elvis - they set you free.

0:32:32 > 0:32:35They do a thing, that da-da-da-da-dun. You go, oh!

0:32:35 > 0:32:41It was a religious experience, that comedy had turned a corner,

0:32:41 > 0:32:44and it would never come back on the straight road again.

0:32:44 > 0:32:48He was almost not a comedian, Lenny Bruce, wasn't he, you know?

0:32:48 > 0:32:50He was like a lecturer.

0:32:50 > 0:32:54I liked it when he said, "The world's sick and I'm the doctor."

0:32:54 > 0:32:57And there was a lovely album sleeve of him

0:32:57 > 0:32:59having a picnic in a graveyard.

0:32:59 > 0:33:05I always thought, "God I wish I was as brave as that".

0:33:05 > 0:33:09Just the photograph, never mind, you hadn't heard a word of the album yet

0:33:09 > 0:33:11but there he was in the graveyard with his sandwiches.

0:33:11 > 0:33:14Ladies and gentleman, here is the very shocking comedian,

0:33:14 > 0:33:16the most shocking comedian of our time,

0:33:16 > 0:33:20a young man who is sky rocketing to fame, Lenny Bruce here he is.

0:33:20 > 0:33:21CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:33:26 > 0:33:30Will Elizabeth Taylor become Bar Mitzvahed?

0:33:30 > 0:33:31LAUGHTER

0:33:36 > 0:33:39No I promise continuity. I'll behave myself.

0:33:41 > 0:33:44He was brave. Just to tackle religion in those days you

0:33:44 > 0:33:48know in the late 40s and 50s that was very brave and I was

0:33:48 > 0:33:52in San Francisco once and saw him and he was wonderful.

0:33:54 > 0:33:59He said people, they wear a cross around their neck,

0:33:59 > 0:34:04if it was a little later in society instead of the Romans,

0:34:04 > 0:34:10then Christ was... He said, I wonder if Christ was electrocuted?

0:34:10 > 0:34:14So on all these pointy buildings would there be an electric chair, would people

0:34:14 > 0:34:17feel comfortable wearing a little electric chair round their neck?

0:34:17 > 0:34:23I mean that's the kind of wonderful delicious mind that Lenny Bruce had.

0:34:32 > 0:34:36You ever hate people so much you wish you had herpes just to give it to 'em?

0:34:38 > 0:34:41I adopted a five year old Chinese girl -

0:34:41 > 0:34:42yeah I needed help with my iPhone.

0:34:44 > 0:34:50Who invited all these bad bitches to this wedding?

0:34:50 > 0:34:52Huh? Oh I do.

0:34:58 > 0:35:03In the 70s in LA there was a comedy explosion, The Comedy Store

0:35:03 > 0:35:05was the place to be, people like Jim Carrey, Robin Williams

0:35:05 > 0:35:11and then Richard Pryor hit the scene and they were explosive individuals

0:35:11 > 0:35:15who had no place to go with their bodies and their minds. That was it.

0:35:17 > 0:35:18Please welcome Mr Jim Carrey.

0:35:22 > 0:35:23I'm really thrilled to be here

0:35:23 > 0:35:26because The Comedy Store is very special to me.

0:35:26 > 0:35:30When I was a teenager I used to watch people like Richard Pryor

0:35:30 > 0:35:35and Robin Williams on television and think, "I can do that".

0:35:35 > 0:35:42But to actually come here and meet these people is amazing you know.

0:35:44 > 0:35:48I got a lawyer, first week the motherfucker brought me

0:35:48 > 0:35:54a bill for 40,000. I said, "Motherfucker I just met you!"

0:35:56 > 0:35:59And lawyers they don't get upset, right.

0:35:59 > 0:36:01"God damn it! Why...?"

0:36:01 > 0:36:06"Don't worry, everything will be alright."

0:36:06 > 0:36:09"No but I want to know why you...?"

0:36:09 > 0:36:10"Take it easy."

0:36:10 > 0:36:13And you leave there feeling there feeling like a asshole.

0:36:13 > 0:36:16You've been going, "What the fuck am I yelling about - they calm.

0:36:16 > 0:36:19"I'm just facing 47 years."

0:36:20 > 0:36:23The big lesson of Richard Pryor that he really taught us

0:36:23 > 0:36:27was how to be vulnerable on stage. I don't think many comics have picked that up

0:36:27 > 0:36:30cos I think that's really scary.

0:36:30 > 0:36:35Also 99.9 % of people don't have any kind of biography that Richard Pryor has,

0:36:35 > 0:36:40nothing close to... I mean not that he was lucky to be raised in

0:36:40 > 0:36:44a whore house, I'm not saying that, but certainly that created a lot

0:36:44 > 0:36:47of material for him to bounce off of from stand-up comedy you know.

0:36:47 > 0:36:50It's nice to have pride about your shit.

0:36:50 > 0:36:55I went home to the motherland and everybody should go home to

0:36:55 > 0:36:58Africa, everybody, especially black people.

0:36:58 > 0:37:02Really, man, there is so much to see there for the eye and the heart of the black people,

0:37:02 > 0:37:04cos white people you go there and you get ideas,

0:37:04 > 0:37:08"That's the way "the black people in America should be, walking about with sticks."

0:37:08 > 0:37:13'He is able to speak the truth on stage in a way that'

0:37:13 > 0:37:19I haven't seen anyone else do. Real innermost thought stuff

0:37:19 > 0:37:23and such utter compassion.

0:37:25 > 0:37:28One thing I got of out of it was magic.

0:37:28 > 0:37:29I like to share with you. I was leaving

0:37:29 > 0:37:34and I was sitting in a hotel and a voice said to me,

0:37:34 > 0:37:36"Look around, what do you see?"

0:37:37 > 0:37:41And I said I see all colours of people doing everything.

0:37:41 > 0:37:47And a voice said, "Do you see any niggers?" And I said, "No".

0:37:47 > 0:37:54And he said, "You know why? Cos there aren't any." And it hit me

0:37:54 > 0:37:58like a shot, man. I started crying and shit, I was sitting there.

0:37:58 > 0:38:03I said, "Yeah, I've been here three weeks, I haven't even said it, I haven't even thought it."

0:38:03 > 0:38:08And it made me say. "Oh my God, I been wrong. I been wrong, I got

0:38:08 > 0:38:14"to regroup my shit". I say "I ain't never call another black man nigger".

0:38:14 > 0:38:15CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:38:18 > 0:38:24'The fact that he had the self awareness and the thought to experience that'

0:38:24 > 0:38:28and then want to share that experience, that to me makes such a

0:38:28 > 0:38:33valuable comic. Someone who's curious about bettering themselves

0:38:33 > 0:38:36and learning something about themselves and is able to impart

0:38:36 > 0:38:40that knowledge to other people is really quite an art form.

0:38:40 > 0:38:41Does it have to get a laugh?

0:38:43 > 0:38:46If you're Richard Pryor, not necessarily.

0:38:57 > 0:38:59Next guest is making his first appearance

0:38:59 > 0:39:02on the Tonight Show. He's worked a lot of clubs in New York Los Angeles.

0:39:02 > 0:39:04Welcome him please - Jerry Seinfeld.

0:39:06 > 0:39:10In the 70s, the early 80s Johnny Carson was the place to be.

0:39:10 > 0:39:13If you weren't on the show you couldn't get any exposure.

0:39:13 > 0:39:16On the other hand if you were you could break any act

0:39:16 > 0:39:19and it would be the most amazing experience for your career.

0:39:19 > 0:39:21Any drugs? Bingo you got me!

0:39:24 > 0:39:28'If Carson liked you you could tell. The camera would cut to him.'

0:39:28 > 0:39:31Jerry Seinfeld, thank you, Jerry, take a bow.

0:39:34 > 0:39:37'If Johnny endorsed you that meant that the agenting community

0:39:37 > 0:39:42'and the producing community knew - we watch the show, we were there

0:39:42 > 0:39:45'and we noticed and there'd be a bit of a hustle around those people.'

0:39:45 > 0:39:50Would you welcome please, Louie Anderson... Ellen Degeneres...

0:39:50 > 0:39:52Gary is from Tucson Arizona.

0:39:52 > 0:39:54Will you welcome Rich Hall?

0:39:54 > 0:39:58'If they were smart they had a manager at that time,'

0:39:58 > 0:40:00but some of them didn't, they were just raw.

0:40:00 > 0:40:04She's a housewife from Denver Colorado who started appearing

0:40:04 > 0:40:06in a local nightclub called the Comedy Works in Denver about

0:40:06 > 0:40:09three or four years ago and she moved out here to Hollywood where

0:40:09 > 0:40:12she's been working at The Comedy Store and this is her very first

0:40:12 > 0:40:16appearance on national television. Would you welcome Roseanne Barr?

0:40:18 > 0:40:20So I'm fat, I thought I'd point that out.

0:40:22 > 0:40:27Roseanne was a stand-up, not terribly successful at that point,

0:40:27 > 0:40:30about to break. This is where you want 'em it's like the wave.

0:40:30 > 0:40:35Women we lie to men all the time you know. It's not that we mean to

0:40:35 > 0:40:39to or anything, it's just that it takes too long to explain the truth.

0:40:41 > 0:40:44'And she was funny, she was like a domestic goddess,

0:40:44 > 0:40:46'that was her character.'

0:40:47 > 0:40:49Yeah so it's like, "Oh you're the best lover

0:40:49 > 0:40:53"I ever had. It's never been like this. Stop stop you're killing me(!)"

0:40:55 > 0:40:59There were two things missing in American television.

0:40:59 > 0:41:01There hadn't been a female lead since Mary Tyler Moore in the 70s,

0:41:01 > 0:41:05not one, so ten years go by and there's not a female

0:41:05 > 0:41:08lead for ten years and then there were also no working class people.

0:41:08 > 0:41:11'She came along just at the right time.

0:41:11 > 0:41:14'She wasn't an actress but she did have something to say.

0:41:14 > 0:41:18I works every single God damn day."

0:41:18 > 0:41:21'You can hear that as a sort of a monologue in everybody's head

0:41:21 > 0:41:26'so the laughter of recognisability was ours for the taking.

0:41:28 > 0:41:29What's the point here Roseanne?

0:41:32 > 0:41:34There is no point OK? No point!

0:41:39 > 0:41:45The point is you think this is a magic kingdom

0:41:45 > 0:41:49- where you just sit up here on your throne.- Oh yeah?

0:41:49 > 0:41:53Yeah. And you think everything gets done by some wonderful wizard.

0:41:53 > 0:41:57Oh, the laundry's folded, the dinner's on the table.

0:41:57 > 0:42:00You want me to fix dinner? I'll fix dinner, I'm fixing dinner!

0:42:00 > 0:42:04Oh, honey you just fixed dinner three years ago(!)

0:42:08 > 0:42:12That's what stand-up does I think as well.

0:42:12 > 0:42:16It makes people who would have been the side character

0:42:16 > 0:42:20centre stage. And so Roseanne it's Roseanne, or the Cosby Show,

0:42:20 > 0:42:24Bill Cosby isn't just the black guy on a show, he's Bill Cosby,

0:42:24 > 0:42:27and so it puts people, or it can, if you take that opportunity

0:42:27 > 0:42:31and you're really funny, you can be the centre of

0:42:31 > 0:42:35a world where you would have been a side person.

0:42:35 > 0:42:37Just tell me you're joking, aren't you joking?

0:42:37 > 0:42:39Shh, just stop talking.

0:42:39 > 0:42:44He's probably just joking. Is he? Does he want a banana maybe?

0:42:44 > 0:42:46Mum sit down hovering all the time.

0:42:46 > 0:42:49Mm, fine. I mustn't hover.

0:42:49 > 0:42:50No.

0:42:50 > 0:42:51He says he's quitting his show.

0:42:51 > 0:42:54I'm so tired, I don't enjoy it anymore.

0:42:54 > 0:42:58But my Kalooki group. That's all we talk about.

0:42:58 > 0:43:01I just feel like it's become a really mean show. I dunno who I am.

0:43:01 > 0:43:04You're a presenter who takes the piss out of people, hello!

0:43:04 > 0:43:06People congratulate me for being mean.

0:43:06 > 0:43:10You're not mean. You're cheeky. People love it.

0:43:10 > 0:43:12- They do.- It's not very Buddhist.

0:43:12 > 0:43:15You're not a Buddhist, you're a cheeky TV presenter.

0:43:15 > 0:43:18At first I thought it was me about two years ago,

0:43:18 > 0:43:20so I could have a distance, and I'd think that guy was

0:43:20 > 0:43:24an idiot and I now have a level of self awareness. I've realised since

0:43:24 > 0:43:28that I'm still the same idiot. It's me but I'm not a stand-up comedian

0:43:28 > 0:43:32in the sitcom. What is very truthful is that it's all coming

0:43:32 > 0:43:36from very real emotion and it's coming from very truthful feelings.

0:43:36 > 0:43:39So part of the thing was learning about compassion.

0:43:39 > 0:43:41Oh we're still talking about this.

0:43:41 > 0:43:43- This is the thing now. Are you ready?- Yeah.

0:43:43 > 0:43:46I forgive you for the divorce.

0:43:46 > 0:43:49What? What are you forgiving me for?

0:43:49 > 0:43:52- It wasn't your fault. - I know it wasn't.

0:43:52 > 0:43:57OK, and also I'd like you to forgive me for all the anger and resentment that I've been holding onto.

0:43:57 > 0:44:00You don't resent me. You'd better not resent me.

0:44:00 > 0:44:02But you were just stupid kids.

0:44:02 > 0:44:05- Right is that it? Fine. - No where are you going?

0:44:05 > 0:44:08And you know it wasn't your fault don't you?

0:44:08 > 0:44:10- Oh yeah.- It was your bastard father's fault.

0:44:10 > 0:44:11Was it though?

0:44:11 > 0:44:15Yes! I didn't go running off to Scotland every weekend to go canoeing with a slut did I?

0:44:15 > 0:44:18- OK, but we're all human. - No we're not.

0:44:18 > 0:44:21No? Nobody wants to be the bad guy. Nobody thinks that they're the baddie.

0:44:21 > 0:44:24- Why do you think he was like that? - Oh I don't know, maybe he just liked rowing.

0:44:24 > 0:44:28'It comes from years of arguments and debate and problems'

0:44:28 > 0:44:35and detachment. It's coming from a very real place although

0:44:35 > 0:44:38there's a fictional... We're creating fictional stories.

0:44:38 > 0:44:40You realise your tax disc expired two days ago, sir?

0:44:40 > 0:44:43Did it yeah, I was going to sort that out this afternoon.

0:44:43 > 0:44:46No you didn't understand me. Your tax disc expired two days ago.

0:44:46 > 0:44:49You're committing an offence by having this vehicle on the road.

0:44:49 > 0:44:52I've always seen Rick, the character of Rick, in Lead Balloon

0:44:52 > 0:44:57as a kind of "what if" version of myself

0:44:57 > 0:45:02and someone who lives with permanent disappointment

0:45:02 > 0:45:06and permanent hope that things will get better

0:45:06 > 0:45:13and this sort of chronic cycle of huge optimism which is

0:45:13 > 0:45:18constantly being dashed as soon as everything goes wrong for him again.

0:45:18 > 0:45:19Get back to the matter.

0:45:19 > 0:45:22No come on what exactly is it you do?

0:45:22 > 0:45:24I provide back up for police officers in situations...

0:45:24 > 0:45:27Admit it, you wanted to be a policeman didn't you?

0:45:27 > 0:45:30With the blue lashing light and the ne-naw siren.

0:45:30 > 0:45:32# Ne-naw, ne-naw, ne-naw, ne-naw. #

0:45:32 > 0:45:34Sir I would advise you to...

0:45:34 > 0:45:36Tell you what, why don't you just potter off back

0:45:36 > 0:45:40to the fancy dress shop and ask for a refund or change it for a wizard's costume

0:45:40 > 0:45:43so people take you a bit more seriously?

0:45:43 > 0:45:46Can we please get back to the matter of your car tax please, sir?

0:45:46 > 0:45:51No. I don't want to. Now what are you going to do?

0:45:53 > 0:45:55VOICE ON POLICE RADIO

0:45:56 > 0:46:01'It sort of became much more about someone else in the end.'

0:46:01 > 0:46:04But there's a confessional thing in there that there's in Rick

0:46:04 > 0:46:08there's is a character who actually, when push

0:46:08 > 0:46:12comes to shove he's actually not very talented and I suppose that's a

0:46:12 > 0:46:15fear that that everyone lives with. I certainly live with that fear.

0:46:18 > 0:46:20Oh we have a comedian in our midst.

0:46:20 > 0:46:23Let me ask you what do you do for a living?

0:46:23 > 0:46:26I am a comedian.

0:46:26 > 0:46:30Very funny, but joking aside what's your line of work?

0:46:30 > 0:46:32No that's what I do, I am a comedian.

0:46:32 > 0:46:36Listen sunshine. We can do this the fun way or I can make your day with me a misery.

0:46:36 > 0:46:42So what do you do for a job of work?

0:46:44 > 0:46:47I'm a sales rep. I sell biscuits.

0:46:47 > 0:46:53Mm, that's better. So when you're driving around selling your biscuits...

0:46:55 > 0:47:00I rarely remember a moment when stand-up both on TV and out there in

0:47:00 > 0:47:05all kinds of venues, large and small, has been as popular as it is today.

0:47:05 > 0:47:08No it's huge. There's never been a time like this.

0:47:08 > 0:47:12There was a point in the late 80s when Friday Night Live,

0:47:12 > 0:47:16Saturday Night Live were happening that it seemed

0:47:16 > 0:47:20it was incredibly exciting and fashionable, but it never...

0:47:20 > 0:47:22It didn't become the enormous thing that it is now.

0:47:22 > 0:47:25It's the way that we treat stand-up. Live At The Apollo,

0:47:25 > 0:47:28which is a fantastic show, came along and just made it look like the

0:47:28 > 0:47:30most exciting thing you could go and see.

0:47:30 > 0:47:35- They didn't try and make it look like rock and roll.- They tried to make it look like showbiz.

0:47:37 > 0:47:41'People with names in lights behind them and

0:47:41 > 0:47:45'a huge crowd and enormous swooping crane shots at the at the beginning

0:47:45 > 0:47:49'to give you, the television viewer a sense of, "Wow what a place to be".

0:47:54 > 0:47:59Thank you very much. I believe that London is currently living under an

0:47:59 > 0:48:06incredible climate of fear that it has never experienced before.

0:48:06 > 0:48:12Went into a sandwich shop the other day and all I wanted was a crab salad sandwich.

0:48:12 > 0:48:15The woman says, "We're all out of crab salad...I'm afraid".

0:48:18 > 0:48:22'I tend to think that all comedy on television as far as stand-up goes'

0:48:22 > 0:48:29is just like walking into a room and passing out calling cards

0:48:29 > 0:48:32saying, "Come see me, come see me,

0:48:32 > 0:48:38"come see me in a crappy, sweaty room instead of on this box".

0:48:38 > 0:48:42Well as a dog returns to its vomit and a washed sow goes back to

0:48:42 > 0:48:46wallowing in the mud, let's meet the team who can't leave well alone.

0:48:46 > 0:48:53Jo Brand...Sean Lock...

0:48:53 > 0:48:59- Rich Hall...and Alan Davies. - Thank you.

0:48:59 > 0:49:02Joining me tonight are six of the country's top comedy performers -

0:49:02 > 0:49:04Andy Parsons, Fred MacAulay, Russell Howard and

0:49:04 > 0:49:10Frankie Boyle, Hugh Dennis and Shappi Khorsandi. Welcome to the show.

0:49:10 > 0:49:12The days where you could go, there was one show,

0:49:12 > 0:49:15here Parkinson, there Johnny Carson,

0:49:15 > 0:49:18that you go on this one show and then... Those are gone.

0:49:18 > 0:49:22Because it's just the audiences are just so fragmented now and you

0:49:22 > 0:49:25don't get the water cooler moment of it, but you do have the long term.

0:49:25 > 0:49:27It will be repeated so often that there's

0:49:27 > 0:49:30hardly an episode that hasn't been on a million times at this stage

0:49:30 > 0:49:36and you will by attritional reasons alone get into people's heads.

0:49:36 > 0:49:39I don't want to be a TV star. A lot of people do,

0:49:39 > 0:49:42they just want to be on TV, and if that's the case,

0:49:42 > 0:49:46then don't do stand-up, because it's really hard, you know?

0:49:46 > 0:49:48It's great to do television

0:49:48 > 0:49:52because you feel like you're doing a job that most people

0:49:52 > 0:49:57in the world would want to be doing and that is, that's a nice feeling.

0:49:57 > 0:50:00But I like to think that the core is stand-up comedy

0:50:00 > 0:50:04and I've developed a weird relationship with stand-up comedy

0:50:04 > 0:50:06because I don't do it enough, in my opinion,

0:50:06 > 0:50:10and although I love it, I have a guilt relationship,

0:50:10 > 0:50:12it's like phoning my mother, you know, were she alive,

0:50:12 > 0:50:16I don't feel I... I don't feel I see my stand-up comedy enough.

0:50:16 > 0:50:18I don't call her often enough,

0:50:18 > 0:50:20I don't give her the attention she deserves.

0:50:20 > 0:50:27And that is because I believe I kind of... I owe, I owe stand-up,

0:50:27 > 0:50:29it all comes from stand-up.

0:50:29 > 0:50:32I'm a stand-up comedian who did telly,

0:50:32 > 0:50:35I'm a stand-up comedian who wrote books, I'm a stand-up comedian

0:50:35 > 0:50:38who wrote a newspaper column, but always I'm a stand-up comedian.

0:50:38 > 0:50:41Every night, you're trying to find the one time deal.

0:50:41 > 0:50:43Every night, you're trying to find a room

0:50:43 > 0:50:45and an event that will never happen again,

0:50:45 > 0:50:48and you want people to leave that room feeling like

0:50:48 > 0:50:51they've not seen a joke teller, but they've seen a comedian,

0:50:51 > 0:50:54they've seen something happen in that room

0:50:54 > 0:50:56that nobody else is going to see.

0:50:56 > 0:50:58And that's... that's the quest,

0:50:58 > 0:51:00and when it goes right, it's the best.

0:51:24 > 0:51:26PIANO PLAYING IN ROOM

0:51:34 > 0:51:36A piano is being played.

0:51:36 > 0:51:41- Monsieur Alan.- Oui.- How are you doing? Good to see you.

0:51:41 > 0:51:45- Do you speak English?- Oui, je... yeah, I can speak English.

0:51:45 > 0:51:48We were talking English before, weren't we, when we were in Paris?

0:51:48 > 0:51:51I just wonder, after three months of that show,

0:51:51 > 0:51:55whether or not you're going to be able to cope with English.

0:51:55 > 0:51:57Yeah, well, I did, I did a warm up

0:51:57 > 0:52:02for this Hollywood Bowl, wonderful venue in Bexhill-on-Sea.

0:52:02 > 0:52:07- Are you nervous? - No, I find nerves really boring.

0:52:07 > 0:52:10Some people say, "Oh, it's good to be nervous,"

0:52:10 > 0:52:13and I found that made me scared and I don't think comedy gets

0:52:13 > 0:52:15good places with fear. I've done that, you know -

0:52:15 > 0:52:18if I can do it in Paris, surely I can do it in English.

0:52:18 > 0:52:23So what's the difference in going from those tiny venues in France,

0:52:23 > 0:52:27from that tiny place to this, I mean... Do you have, is it the same shows in English?

0:52:27 > 0:52:31Yeah, same show and the trick is, no difference.

0:52:31 > 0:52:35If anyone's watching this and heading towards arenas doing spoken word,

0:52:35 > 0:52:39just keep it that small, because the screens are that good

0:52:39 > 0:52:43and the sound should be that good, it picks it all up. Just do it small, carry on.

0:52:43 > 0:52:47- Can we go up and see it empty, before we see it full?- Yeah, yeah.

0:52:47 > 0:52:52- Yeah, so, look, that's... - Oh, my God!- You see that...

0:52:52 > 0:52:55Amazing, Hendrix.

0:52:55 > 0:52:59- He was just very cool.- The Beatles, Hendrix...- There's another,

0:52:59 > 0:53:02I don't know if you can see that, that's a beautiful picture.

0:53:02 > 0:53:09'The Rolling Stones, Frank Sinatra, Bob Dylan, Judy Garland,

0:53:09 > 0:53:12'Monty Python, Stevie Wonder, The Beach Boys -

0:53:12 > 0:53:15'the greats have all appeared here,

0:53:15 > 0:53:19'but never, it seems, a solo stand-up show.

0:53:20 > 0:53:22'Not till now.'

0:53:25 > 0:53:29This is, this is beautiful, because that shape is perfect.

0:53:29 > 0:53:32The arenas tend to go straight back and they feel cavernous,

0:53:32 > 0:53:35like an aircraft hangar, and this does not feel like that.

0:53:35 > 0:53:40This actually feels quite intimate, considering that you can fit 18,000 people in here.

0:53:40 > 0:53:44Look, they've got tables and flowers in there. This is very polite, this bit.

0:53:44 > 0:53:49- You must pay a lot more for those seats.- Apparently so. And there's a walk bit round there,

0:53:49 > 0:53:52I can walk round there and do it all.

0:53:52 > 0:53:56Oh, a bit of U2 and Stones and going off amongst the people. Will you be doing that?

0:53:56 > 0:53:59I think I've got to go out there, I feel I should, and go,

0:53:59 > 0:54:03"There was an Englishman, there was an Irishman and a Scottish man

0:54:03 > 0:54:06"and they went into a public house, ladies and gentlemen..."

0:54:06 > 0:54:08You are amazing, though, you're standing here

0:54:08 > 0:54:12and in about another hour, there's going to be

0:54:12 > 0:54:16tens of thousands of people here and you're just looking...

0:54:16 > 0:54:21Yeah, well, it's fun, it's... the more you do it, the more it's like they're coming to my house.

0:54:21 > 0:54:27This is the Bowl, so this is the Bowl's house, but you make... you've got to own the stage.

0:54:42 > 0:54:48I think this is stand-up in a theatrical setting with a rock'n'roll sensibility.

0:54:48 > 0:54:53I just keep pushing it into bigger spaces, cos my ego is a problem.

0:55:15 > 0:55:19DRAMATIC WALK-ON MUSIC

0:55:25 > 0:55:30CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:55:35 > 0:55:37Hollywood Bowl!

0:55:40 > 0:55:44Very, very sexy. I've got to say hello to this side, sorry.

0:55:44 > 0:55:47Cos they started shouting through my microphone a bit too early.

0:55:47 > 0:55:51In fact, I'm going to do this - da da da! One has to do this sometimes.

0:55:51 > 0:55:53They built one.

0:55:55 > 0:56:00This is very sexy, this is the special seats.

0:56:00 > 0:56:04I will probably be doing stuff over your heads, I'm sorry, guys.

0:56:04 > 0:56:07I'm not going to do this all the way along.

0:56:07 > 0:56:10Hang on, I can't do this. I might just do the gig this way,

0:56:10 > 0:56:14that'd be really freaky, wouldn't it?

0:56:14 > 0:56:18But... what one could do is just run to the back.

0:56:18 > 0:56:21CHEERING AND WHISTLING

0:56:26 > 0:56:29What is he doing?

0:56:42 > 0:56:44We've lost him.

0:56:44 > 0:56:46He's gone.

0:56:46 > 0:56:51- This was not planned, I take it?- No.

0:56:51 > 0:56:54- So he's 200 feet...- Where is he? - Oh, my God!

0:56:54 > 0:56:56Oh, there he is.

0:57:00 > 0:57:03A mad man has rushed into the crowd.

0:57:03 > 0:57:05Now, this is...

0:57:05 > 0:57:09If you're thinking of playing at the Hollywood Bowl,

0:57:09 > 0:57:11don't do what I just did.

0:57:13 > 0:57:15We have a very special chair set up,

0:57:15 > 0:57:17this is how you get on at the Hollywood Bowl.

0:57:24 > 0:57:27Motherfucker!

0:57:28 > 0:57:32Anyway, so, two men go into a pub and...

0:57:32 > 0:57:36That's quite an ice breaker, that.

0:57:36 > 0:57:40Now, I gotta do comedy, was that a good idea?

0:57:42 > 0:57:45You people here, you are out of the box thinkers,

0:57:45 > 0:57:49because you're here watching the show. If not, you are lid thinkers,

0:57:49 > 0:57:52you're nearly out of the box, but you're on the lid, going, "How's it going?

0:57:52 > 0:57:56"Eddie, how's the walking around in dresses, doing gigs?

0:57:56 > 0:57:58"Hollywood Bowl? All right, that's OK.

0:57:58 > 0:58:02"Maybe I'll walk around in dresses and do the Hollywood Bowl."

0:58:05 > 0:58:07Computers, they're so fast now.

0:58:07 > 0:58:11PC, more regimented, pretty similar, the computers -

0:58:11 > 0:58:15PC computer, open it up, Apple Macintosh, open it up, but portable computer.

0:58:15 > 0:58:18Start it with a press button, start it with a press button.

0:58:18 > 0:58:21With a PC, you have to turn a handle to get the thing going.

0:58:21 > 0:58:26Apple Macintosh, more sexy, you can touch an Apple Macintosh and have sex and everyone's fine.

0:58:26 > 0:58:31Then the colour changes - blue, blue, white, blue, blue, white,

0:58:31 > 0:58:37blue, white and it stops, and it says, "Hang on, you've gotta sign a new agreement with iTunes."

0:58:37 > 0:58:40Ladies and gentlemen of the Hollywood Bowl,

0:58:40 > 0:58:45I have signed four million, five hundred and sixty three thousand, two hundred and twenty one

0:58:45 > 0:58:50agreements with iTunes - what the fuck do they want? What do they want from us?

0:58:50 > 0:58:54And there's the conditions there, you have to read the terms and conditions

0:58:54 > 0:58:57and there's a little box - "Have you read the terms and conditions?"

0:58:57 > 0:59:02And when we tick the "Yes, I've read the terms and conditions," a little part of each of us dies.

0:59:08 > 0:59:09Because we are liars!

0:59:12 > 0:59:15You cannot control your children - "Don't you lie to me!

0:59:15 > 0:59:20"You said you didn't have a biscuit, you're covered in crumbs, you obviously had a biscuit."

0:59:20 > 0:59:24"You said you'd read the terms and conditions a billion times."

0:59:27 > 0:59:32The truth is, no-one here has ever read the terms and conditions,

0:59:32 > 0:59:36no-one in Los Angeles has read the terms and conditions,

0:59:36 > 0:59:40no-one in America, no-one in Europe, no-one in the world,

0:59:40 > 0:59:43even God has not read the terms and conditions.

0:59:43 > 0:59:45If he exists.

0:59:45 > 0:59:49And even the lawyers who wrote the terms and conditions didn't read,

0:59:49 > 0:59:54they just went like this, "I dunno, get some monkeys in to help, just put anything in there."

0:59:54 > 0:59:58They just want stuff in there. There could be anything in there.

0:59:58 > 1:00:01"We take your buttocks and sell them to the Chinese." I accept!

1:00:01 > 1:00:05"We will set fire to your testicles and call you Mr Jimjams." I accept!

1:00:05 > 1:00:09"We will run your buttocks over with a casting iron and then send you to Japan."

1:00:09 > 1:00:10I accept, whatever!

1:00:10 > 1:00:13"Now you're called Jean-Claude Van Damme."

1:00:13 > 1:00:15Jean-Claude Van Damme, OK!

1:00:15 > 1:00:16There should be five boxes to tick -

1:00:16 > 1:00:20"Have you read the terms and conditions?" Of course not!

1:00:20 > 1:00:23There should be an "Of course not. Are you mad?"

1:00:23 > 1:00:26"Have you read half the terms and conditions?"

1:00:26 > 1:00:28"No, no, no, not really."

1:00:28 > 1:00:33"Have you read one paragraph of the terms and conditions?" N-n-n-no!

1:00:33 > 1:00:37"Have you read even one word of the terms and conditions?"

1:00:37 > 1:00:40Actually, as you said over there, no.

1:00:40 > 1:00:44"Have you NOT read the terms and conditions but you're OK with that?"

1:00:44 > 1:00:45Yes.

1:00:50 > 1:00:54The Stone Age, ladies and gentlepuns, the Stone Age.

1:00:54 > 1:00:57Before the Stone Age, what the fuck did we do?

1:00:57 > 1:01:01We must have beaten things to death. That's it, before the Stone Age, we didn't have tools,

1:01:01 > 1:01:04we didn't have arms, weapons, nothing, just hands and feet.

1:01:04 > 1:01:07I'll have to kill him on my own, I'll kill him on my own,

1:01:07 > 1:01:09then I'll be a big hero, they'll make me king,

1:01:09 > 1:01:11make me king of the tribe. Kill him on my own, OK.

1:01:11 > 1:01:13Let's have a go.

1:01:13 > 1:01:15Male or female bear?

1:01:16 > 1:01:21Can't tell, no matter, here we go.

1:01:21 > 1:01:25Oh, for fuck's sake! Bloody stone!

1:01:30 > 1:01:33That was the beginning of the Stone Age.

1:01:33 > 1:01:35Think about it, think about it,

1:01:35 > 1:01:37that's must have been how it started,

1:01:37 > 1:01:41stones have been there since the dawn of time.

1:01:41 > 1:01:43Dinosaurs - too fucking stupid to pick up stones,

1:01:43 > 1:01:46probably first three million years of us, lots of humans going...

1:01:46 > 1:01:48and just carrying on.

1:01:52 > 1:01:55One person on their own, going, "Ah! Ah! Ah!"

1:01:56 > 1:01:59The Alexander Fleming of stone,

1:01:59 > 1:02:03if you get that reference, which you win a cookie if you do.

1:02:03 > 1:02:05He discovered, um, penicillin.

1:02:07 > 1:02:10And nitro-glycerine. And termites. I dunno.

1:02:10 > 1:02:14So, stones, stones, fucking hell, a stone, bad for my foot,

1:02:14 > 1:02:17could be bad for the mammoth as well.

1:02:17 > 1:02:20This could be the beginning of an Age.

1:02:24 > 1:02:27Ah, good morning, good morning, good morning.

1:02:27 > 1:02:30Stuck in the swamp? Oh, it's awful, isn't it? Awful, yeah.

1:02:30 > 1:02:33I'm sorry, not much I can do, yeah. Steve, I'm Steve, yeah.

1:02:33 > 1:02:35Your name? Mr Mammoth? OK.

1:02:36 > 1:02:38Is that an owl over...?

1:02:40 > 1:02:43It works, it works, it works!

1:02:43 > 1:02:46"What is it, Steve?" I've invented something. "What?" This.

1:02:46 > 1:02:48"Ah, for fuck's sake!

1:02:48 > 1:02:51"You killed a mammoth with that? With a stone?

1:02:51 > 1:02:54"This could be the beginning of an Age!"

1:02:54 > 1:02:56Everyone's saying that.

1:02:56 > 1:02:59"We've gotta give it a name, Steve, we gotta call it

1:02:59 > 1:03:02"something like he Age When Big Things Fall Over...

1:03:02 > 1:03:06"the Big Things Falling Over... the Big Things Falling Over When Hit By Things Age.

1:03:06 > 1:03:11"The Age of things that... we'll get some people to work on this."

1:03:11 > 1:03:13I just thought Stone Age.

1:03:13 > 1:03:16"Yeah, Stone Age could work, it's very t-shirt, I see t-shirt.

1:03:16 > 1:03:20"Fucking Stone Age, get with it, man!

1:03:20 > 1:03:22"Turn on, switch off, it explodes."

1:03:22 > 1:03:26So the Stone Age began with stones - we can hit, we can scrape,

1:03:26 > 1:03:32you could cut the skin off an animal that didn't need it anymore, cos it was dead, or very nearly.

1:03:35 > 1:03:38Just cutting your skin off cos I'm trying to make a cape,

1:03:38 > 1:03:42cos I'm-I'm standing for election as King, you see...

1:03:43 > 1:03:50Don't really have elections, it's more of, you know... I've killed him, oh fuck it.

1:03:50 > 1:03:52I'm just going to take a bit of your skin, all right?

1:03:52 > 1:03:54All right, three, two, one!

1:03:56 > 1:03:59It's a mime, it's a mime. Come on, Hollywood.

1:04:02 > 1:04:04You're as bad as Paris.

1:04:11 > 1:04:13So, humans made it to the moon,

1:04:13 > 1:04:16but will they make it to the end of the 21st century? It's up to them.

1:04:16 > 1:04:20That audience at the Hollywood Bowl that night, those progressive people,

1:04:20 > 1:04:25those out of the box thinkers, they have to do it, we have to do it together,

1:04:25 > 1:04:29we, the out of the box thinkers and the giant squids of the world, we need to do it, baby.

1:04:29 > 1:04:32We need to do it. So, I hope we will.

1:04:32 > 1:04:37Giant squid on the moon on the ship Nostromo, signing out.

1:04:37 > 1:04:40Thank you very much, Hollywood Bowl.

1:04:40 > 1:04:43CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

1:04:46 > 1:04:50Digital viewers can press the red button now to see more

1:04:50 > 1:04:53of Eddie Izzard's sell-out show at the Hollywood Bowl.

1:05:25 > 1:05:30He was hilarious and I'm too exhausted, really, to describe it.

1:05:30 > 1:05:33You've attained critical mass when you, you perform here.

1:05:45 > 1:05:48Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

1:05:48 > 1:05:50E-mail - subtitling@bbc.co.uk