0:00:02 > 0:00:04We first got television in Scotland in 1952.
0:00:04 > 0:00:071952?! That's the year the Queen became, well, Queen,
0:00:07 > 0:00:10Prime Minister Winston Churchill scrapped identity cards,
0:00:10 > 0:00:14the first ever passenger jet flew across the Atlantic
0:00:14 > 0:00:17and it was a leap year, which maybe explains why
0:00:17 > 0:00:20Britain's only Olympic gold medal that year was in the showjumping.
0:00:29 > 0:00:32Christmas and Hogmanay are the shining lights
0:00:32 > 0:00:33in Scotland's winter gloom.
0:00:33 > 0:00:36If they didn't exist, we'd have to invent them -
0:00:36 > 0:00:38or at least the telly would.
0:00:38 > 0:00:40At no other time of year does watching the box
0:00:40 > 0:00:43play such a big part in how we celebrate.
0:00:43 > 0:00:47Forget Reporting Scotland, this is real public service broadcasting.
0:00:47 > 0:00:50I mean, how else would we know it was midnight?
0:00:50 > 0:00:53Five, four, three, two...
0:00:53 > 0:00:56Any second now.
0:00:56 > 0:00:59A guid New Year to yin and a'!
0:00:59 > 0:01:01BELL CHIMES
0:01:01 > 0:01:03CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:01:08 > 0:01:10Cheers(!)
0:01:10 > 0:01:13These days we celebrate Christmas with as much joy as anyone,
0:01:13 > 0:01:15but it hasn't always been this way.
0:01:15 > 0:01:19There was a time when even Santa used to hang on till Hogmanay
0:01:19 > 0:01:20to deliver his presents.
0:01:20 > 0:01:22The reason?
0:01:22 > 0:01:24These guys.
0:01:24 > 0:01:26There was something about the coming together
0:01:26 > 0:01:27of the words "Christ" and "Mass"
0:01:27 > 0:01:30that didn't appeal to the Presbyterian Church,
0:01:30 > 0:01:32and it wasn't until 1958 that the day became
0:01:32 > 0:01:34an official Scottish holiday.
0:01:38 > 0:01:41And, if you were lucky enough to own a TV,
0:01:41 > 0:01:43this is probably what you'd have watched
0:01:43 > 0:01:46beamed in from that den of iniquity, London.
0:01:48 > 0:01:51Not that many of us were actually given the day off.
0:01:51 > 0:01:56I remember when we came back to Edinburgh in '65,
0:01:56 > 0:02:00the first season at the Lyceum, we had two shows on Christmas Day
0:02:00 > 0:02:03and we had two children by that time,
0:02:03 > 0:02:06and anybody with children brought them in between the shows,
0:02:06 > 0:02:07and we had a wee party in the greenroom.
0:02:07 > 0:02:10But two shows on Christmas Day, a matinee and an evening.
0:02:10 > 0:02:13They're very nostalgic things, Christmas trees.
0:02:13 > 0:02:15There's something about the smell of them
0:02:15 > 0:02:17and the tinsel that takes you right back.
0:02:17 > 0:02:19And, of course, it wouldn't be a Christmas tree
0:02:19 > 0:02:21without a fairy on the top.
0:02:22 > 0:02:25Christmas With The Stars was made by the BBC network.
0:02:25 > 0:02:28It was an all-singing, all-dancing extravaganza.
0:02:32 > 0:02:33This isn't exactly Toy Story
0:02:33 > 0:02:36but, in its own way, it's every bit as magical.
0:02:37 > 0:02:41As the BBC in London were creating the warm glow of Christmas,
0:02:41 > 0:02:44Scottish churchmen were blowing a cold wind under the door.
0:02:44 > 0:02:46I don't know where they stood on fairies
0:02:46 > 0:02:48but they'd definitely got it in for Christmas trees.
0:02:48 > 0:02:49'The last day of term.
0:02:49 > 0:02:52'For most children, a time for Christmas celebrations,
0:02:52 > 0:02:56'but not for these young pupils at Kiltearn Primary School.
0:02:56 > 0:03:00'Their headmaster, a Free Presbyterian, doesn't recognise the festive season,
0:03:00 > 0:03:03'and he's had a Christmas tree, put up by the parents,
0:03:03 > 0:03:04'removed from the building.
0:03:04 > 0:03:08'It's now been re-erected by them in a field next to the school.'
0:03:09 > 0:03:12Ah, well, at least the repression gave our comedians
0:03:12 > 0:03:13something to get their teeth into.
0:03:13 > 0:03:17Ephesia and I have a marriage made in heaven.
0:03:19 > 0:03:20Which is a pity -
0:03:20 > 0:03:25if it had been made in Hong Kong, it may not have lasted so long!
0:03:25 > 0:03:26CAROL SINGING
0:03:28 > 0:03:29Just listen to that.
0:03:31 > 0:03:36Does that just not sum up what Christmas is all about?
0:03:36 > 0:03:39A few well-intentioned, charitable souls,
0:03:39 > 0:03:43standing out there in the cold, singing their hearts out...
0:03:44 > 0:03:48..while the rest of us sit warm and snug in our own wee houses...
0:03:49 > 0:03:51..pretending we're not in.
0:03:55 > 0:03:59The Christmas spirit doesn't come in shorter measure than this.
0:04:01 > 0:04:03City Lights took a rather different approach
0:04:03 > 0:04:05to matters of a spiritual nature.
0:04:05 > 0:04:08Another year in here? I cannae face it.
0:04:08 > 0:04:11This is spoof of the Hollywood Christmas classic
0:04:11 > 0:04:12It's A Wonderful Life,
0:04:12 > 0:04:14and it features the appearance of a very unusual
0:04:14 > 0:04:16and very Scottish angel.
0:04:16 > 0:04:19Sometimes I wish I hadnae bothered.
0:04:19 > 0:04:21Sometimes I wish I'd never been born.
0:04:21 > 0:04:25Oh, hey, hey, keys, wee man. You mustnae say things like that.
0:04:25 > 0:04:27That kinda talk's no' allowed where I come fae, you know.
0:04:27 > 0:04:30No? And where do you "come fae"?
0:04:31 > 0:04:32Heaven.
0:04:32 > 0:04:37It was funny doing such an iconic piece in a Scottish way
0:04:37 > 0:04:41but it worked out to be a real darling of a thing.
0:04:41 > 0:04:43I'm an angel.
0:04:43 > 0:04:44LAUGHTER
0:04:44 > 0:04:48Of course you are. Of course you are(!)
0:04:48 > 0:04:53You just don't look like an angel. Where are your wings and things?
0:04:53 > 0:04:55Well, actually I'm a GASC.
0:04:56 > 0:04:59Glasgow Angel - Second Class.
0:04:59 > 0:05:02We don't get the likes of wings and halos. Well, no' right away.
0:05:02 > 0:05:04What DO you get?
0:05:04 > 0:05:06A bus pass and a bunnet.
0:05:06 > 0:05:10Scottish broadcasters have made several comedy specials over the years
0:05:10 > 0:05:12but we've been more than happy to take our glitzy
0:05:12 > 0:05:14Christmas variety shows from London,
0:05:14 > 0:05:17even lending them the odd star in their tougher assignments.
0:05:17 > 0:05:19Pate?
0:05:21 > 0:05:22Don't mind if I do.
0:05:24 > 0:05:27Hmm, a Christmas tree - I don't like the way this is shaping up.
0:05:27 > 0:05:28Hello, how are you?
0:05:28 > 0:05:31And a merry Christmas from the north of Scotland.
0:05:31 > 0:05:34And when I say the north of Scotland, I mean the very north
0:05:34 > 0:05:38of the north of Scotland, because I'm speaking to you from the RAF station
0:05:38 > 0:05:41Saxa Vord, on the island of Unst.
0:05:41 > 0:05:44The island of Unst is at the tip-top toe of the Shetland Islands.
0:05:44 > 0:05:45Merry Christmas!
0:05:45 > 0:05:48He must've been doing cartwheels when his agent got him THIS gig.
0:05:48 > 0:05:51I've brought you all a beautiful present.
0:05:51 > 0:05:52I knew that tree would be trouble.
0:05:52 > 0:05:54Who said, "What for?"
0:05:54 > 0:05:57Gentlemen, what would you rather I'd have brought you?
0:05:57 > 0:05:58- ALL:- Whisky!
0:05:58 > 0:06:00Did somebody say whisky?!
0:06:00 > 0:06:02Maybe it's because it's Andy Stewart,
0:06:02 > 0:06:05or that it's a room full of men with a thirst for strong drink
0:06:05 > 0:06:07but there's something about the mood here
0:06:07 > 0:06:09that feels more like Hogmanay than Christmas.
0:06:09 > 0:06:12One of the reasons we're happy to take our Christmas TV
0:06:12 > 0:06:16from down south is because there's nothing particularly Scottish
0:06:16 > 0:06:18about the way we celebrate it.
0:06:18 > 0:06:21Not something you'll ever hear said about Hogmanay.
0:06:21 > 0:06:26Forget St Andrews, this is our real national day.
0:06:26 > 0:06:29And, as this scene from The Ship shows,
0:06:29 > 0:06:32we're very particular about what's on the telly.
0:06:32 > 0:06:35There's nothing on the TV - it's a' English!
0:06:35 > 0:06:38LAUGHTER
0:06:38 > 0:06:41CHEERING
0:06:44 > 0:06:47Some variety show fae London, nothing to do with New Year.
0:06:47 > 0:06:52There's they fiddlers fae Shetland on the BBC. I like them.
0:06:52 > 0:06:55- How you no' watching it, then? - It's no' worth it.
0:06:55 > 0:06:57If I switch it on, all I get is Big Archie
0:06:57 > 0:06:59telling me it's the wrong image of Scotland.
0:06:59 > 0:07:02When I ask him what the RIGHT one is,
0:07:02 > 0:07:07he says it's the Royal Scots Dragoon Guards playing Amazing Grace.
0:07:08 > 0:07:13So, to avoid argument, I just came oot here with my advocaat!
0:07:15 > 0:07:18'For Scotsmen, New Year is the festival of the year
0:07:18 > 0:07:19'and thousands of them left London
0:07:19 > 0:07:23'to spend Hogmanay in its natural setting, in Scotland.
0:07:23 > 0:07:28'For some revellers, Hogmanay started at Euston Station yesterday.'
0:07:28 > 0:07:32Hogmanay has always been a more adult celebration than Christmas
0:07:32 > 0:07:36and, by "more adult" I mean, of course, more drunken.
0:07:36 > 0:07:39One thing's for certain, these guys aren't heading back to Glasgow
0:07:39 > 0:07:41for a cosy night in front of the telly.
0:07:41 > 0:07:43So it's probably a good thing the first live street party
0:07:43 > 0:07:45wasn't broadcast till 1957.
0:07:46 > 0:07:50Then what did they do? They gave it to a Canadian to present.
0:07:50 > 0:07:51Now, I'm a newcomer here, a Canadian.
0:07:51 > 0:07:55A Canadian? Making a programme about Hogmanay?!
0:07:55 > 0:07:57It's just so stupid(!)
0:07:59 > 0:08:02Years ago, my many Scottish friends in Canada
0:08:02 > 0:08:05gave me a very exciting picture of Hogmanay.
0:08:05 > 0:08:08It's a time when hospitality knows no bounds.
0:08:08 > 0:08:11Won't you join us? Here we go, as the saying goes,
0:08:11 > 0:08:14for a wee keek at Glasgow Cross. Come in, Larry Marshall.
0:08:14 > 0:08:17'They're all waiting for one thing and one thing only -
0:08:17 > 0:08:21'that blessed release from 1957, into 1958.
0:08:21 > 0:08:26- 'Yes, there it is! And the year is 1958!' - CHEERING
0:08:26 > 0:08:29'Listen to the crowd going now. Look at that, isn't that wonderful?'
0:08:29 > 0:08:33It's amazing the things they did to keep warm back in those days.
0:08:33 > 0:08:37BBC Scotland's Hogmanay shows got off to a socially responsible start,
0:08:37 > 0:08:40with presenter Roddy McMillan championing the merits
0:08:40 > 0:08:41of lining your stomach.
0:08:41 > 0:08:43Good evening, friends, and welcome.
0:08:43 > 0:08:45You know, I've been promising my good friend Alec, here,
0:08:45 > 0:08:48a good feed of salt herring and tatties for some time
0:08:48 > 0:08:50and I've just got round to it.
0:08:50 > 0:08:55Well, I got the tatties on and then my friends Anne Brand, Alec McEwan
0:08:55 > 0:08:56and Bobby MacLeod happened to come in,
0:08:56 > 0:08:58and, it being their first time here this year,
0:08:58 > 0:09:01well, we had to give them a good welcome. That right, Alec?
0:09:01 > 0:09:03So I'm afraid the herring will be a wee bit late.
0:09:03 > 0:09:05Will you have patience, Alec?
0:09:05 > 0:09:07Oh, well, since I've waited this long,
0:09:07 > 0:09:09I can surely wait half an hour longer.
0:09:09 > 0:09:10That's the stuff, Alec!
0:09:10 > 0:09:12Huh, listen to Alec -
0:09:12 > 0:09:14he's getting a free meal and he's still not happy.
0:09:21 > 0:09:24Draw In Your Chair was based around the tradition of New Year guests
0:09:24 > 0:09:25having to do a turn.
0:09:25 > 0:09:29It's a format that would grow wings and fly like a grouse across the moors
0:09:29 > 0:09:33in the BBC's long-running - and frequently shot at - White Heather Club.
0:09:33 > 0:09:37# Come in, come in It's nice tae see you
0:09:37 > 0:09:40# How's yoursel'? You're looking grand
0:09:40 > 0:09:44# Tak' your ease We'll try to please you
0:09:44 > 0:09:52# Man, you're welcome Here's my hand. #
0:09:52 > 0:09:53CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:09:53 > 0:09:58When I was a teenager I really hated all that tartan kind of stuff.
0:09:58 > 0:10:02But, of course, now, you look back on it
0:10:02 > 0:10:06and you realise that WAS a vital part of Scottish culture,
0:10:06 > 0:10:08and a very vibrant part of Scottish culture.
0:10:12 > 0:10:14HE CONTINUES: It's wonderful. Yeah, wonderful stuff.
0:10:19 > 0:10:23Shows like the White Heather Club took the way we celebrated at home
0:10:23 > 0:10:25and turned it into something we could watch on the box.
0:10:25 > 0:10:27They cut out the drink, brought in the tartan,
0:10:27 > 0:10:30beefed up The Bells and formalised the ceilidh.
0:10:30 > 0:10:36PIPER PLAYS "Scotland The Brave"
0:10:38 > 0:10:42The White Heather Club was a marriage of Highland and Lowland culture.
0:10:42 > 0:10:45The close and the cludgie cooried up to the but'n'ben
0:10:45 > 0:10:46and the Superscot was born.
0:10:46 > 0:10:49Or, to put it more precisely, Andy Stewart.
0:10:49 > 0:10:53Here's to it, here's to the fighting sheen of it,
0:10:53 > 0:10:58here's to every thread of it, here's to the dark and green of it,
0:10:58 > 0:11:00here's to the blue and red of it.
0:11:00 > 0:11:04Foe men have sought for it, many have fought for it,
0:11:04 > 0:11:10the fair have sighed for it, the brave have died for it.
0:11:10 > 0:11:13Honour the name of it, drink to the fame of it.
0:11:13 > 0:11:16And what is it? The tartan!
0:11:16 > 0:11:18APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:11:18 > 0:11:21Oh, I thought he was going to say Celtic and Rangers.
0:11:23 > 0:11:25Och, it's a good job that's only orange juice!
0:11:28 > 0:11:32Of course, Andy wasn't the only star in the tartan firmament.
0:11:33 > 0:11:39# Far away and o'er the moor
0:11:39 > 0:11:41# Far away and... #
0:11:41 > 0:11:44All this traditional fare wasn't to everyone's taste,
0:11:44 > 0:11:46but there's no denying the talent
0:11:46 > 0:11:48and charisma of those involved.
0:11:49 > 0:11:51# A wee cock sparra sat in a tree
0:11:51 > 0:11:53# A wee cock sparra
0:11:53 > 0:11:54# Sat in a tree
0:11:54 > 0:11:57# A wee cock sparra sat in a tree
0:11:57 > 0:12:00# Chirpin' awa' as blithe as could be. #
0:12:00 > 0:12:03I miss Hogmanay.
0:12:03 > 0:12:07I miss Duncan Macrae doing A Wee Cock Sparra.
0:12:07 > 0:12:13Everybody of my age remembers that, of my generation.
0:12:13 > 0:12:15Everybody LOVED that, just loved it.
0:12:15 > 0:12:19At the time, we were out of our chairs, on the floor.
0:12:19 > 0:12:20It was brilliant.
0:12:20 > 0:12:24It wasn't just the song, I think, that everybody remembers,
0:12:24 > 0:12:27it was the way Duncan Macrae did it.
0:12:27 > 0:12:31# The man hit the boy though he wisnae his farra
0:12:31 > 0:12:34# The man hit the boy though he wisnae his farra
0:12:34 > 0:12:38# The man hit the boy though he wisnae his farra
0:12:38 > 0:12:43# And the boy stood and glowered He was hurt to the marra. #
0:12:43 > 0:12:47# And a' this time the wee cock sparra
0:12:47 > 0:12:52# Was chirping awa' on the shaft o' the barra. #
0:12:52 > 0:12:55Doesn't get that much better than that, does it?
0:12:55 > 0:12:58My own favourite Hogmanay turn comes from a man who made
0:12:58 > 0:13:01more records than The Beatles AND Elvis Presley put together.
0:13:01 > 0:13:04He also had a passenger train named after him
0:13:04 > 0:13:05and was a favourite of this woman.
0:13:05 > 0:13:07And this one.
0:13:07 > 0:13:11Not bad for a guy who failed his first BBC audition
0:13:11 > 0:13:15because he kept time with his foot. I am, of course, talking about the legendary Jimmy Shand,
0:13:15 > 0:13:18the man who put the "ban" in between-song banter.
0:13:18 > 0:13:22- Well, James, how are you now?- Fine. - I've been working it out in my mind.
0:13:22 > 0:13:24A dance is a jig,
0:13:24 > 0:13:26but a jigger's not always a dancer.
0:13:26 > 0:13:29A good dancer would never give you a kick, but a good jigger might.
0:13:29 > 0:13:32All this double talk's got me jiggered.
0:13:32 > 0:13:34Here, then, we have a J-I-G, a jig.
0:13:34 > 0:13:36Take your partners for Hamilton House.
0:13:38 > 0:13:41There was a warmth of Jimmy Shand,
0:13:41 > 0:13:46although to say Jimmy Shand exuded warmth is a bit of a stretch,
0:13:46 > 0:13:49although he was a very warm and laughing man.
0:13:49 > 0:13:54But he stood with his accordion like he was at a Masonic meeting,
0:13:54 > 0:13:56with his tartan jacket
0:13:56 > 0:14:00and his wee accordion. He was a genius of the squeeze box.
0:14:03 > 0:14:06I always used to love it when he was on the Hogmanay show.
0:14:06 > 0:14:08To me, he was full of life,
0:14:08 > 0:14:11because I was listening to his music.
0:14:11 > 0:14:13To everybody else, he was a miserable bugger!
0:14:13 > 0:14:16He never smiled. He stood stock still,
0:14:16 > 0:14:19but it was his music for me was just...
0:14:19 > 0:14:22It filled me with great...great joy.
0:14:28 > 0:14:33But I miss that. And I was part of the attack on that shortbread tin...
0:14:33 > 0:14:37As a matter of fact, that was my expression,
0:14:37 > 0:14:39"the singing shortbread tins".
0:14:40 > 0:14:44By 1968, The White Heather Club had run its course,
0:14:44 > 0:14:47but that didn't stop the format it established digging in its heels
0:14:47 > 0:14:49and burling its way into the '80s.
0:14:49 > 0:14:53# Tak' yer ease We'll try and please ye... #
0:14:53 > 0:14:56This might be the most concentrated amount of Scottishness
0:14:56 > 0:14:57in any one place, ever.
0:14:57 > 0:15:00# In the land called Caledonia... #
0:15:00 > 0:15:05Bill McCue's timing here is pure Andy Stewart.
0:15:05 > 0:15:08# To express your feelings freely... #
0:15:08 > 0:15:12The thing about my father really was that if he was standing up
0:15:12 > 0:15:15in front of people, in whatever role,
0:15:15 > 0:15:17er, he was happy.
0:15:17 > 0:15:20And he loved being on the telly
0:15:20 > 0:15:25and he loved the telly programmes at Hogmanay and the other series that he did.
0:15:25 > 0:15:29The tartan stuff, for my father, was not about kitsch
0:15:29 > 0:15:33and was not about reducing the quality of the product, at all.
0:15:33 > 0:15:37In fact, it was always used as an open door
0:15:37 > 0:15:40and as something that he wore as a big statement of his passion
0:15:40 > 0:15:42for where he came from.
0:15:42 > 0:15:44A good New Year!
0:15:44 > 0:15:46ALL: Happy New Year!
0:15:48 > 0:15:51With the BBC's coverage in a state of suspended animation,
0:15:51 > 0:15:55it was up to STV to inject new life into proceedings.
0:15:55 > 0:15:58The rivalry between the two channels always reached its peak at Hogmanay,
0:15:58 > 0:16:01when they engaged in a ding-dong battle of the bells,
0:16:01 > 0:16:04to see who could pull in the most viewers.
0:16:04 > 0:16:07Now, all's fair in war, but if you ask me,
0:16:07 > 0:16:09sometimes STV took things too far.
0:16:09 > 0:16:11Way too far.
0:16:12 > 0:16:14It's show time.
0:16:19 > 0:16:23Hi. Welcome to our New Year's Eve celebrations.
0:16:23 > 0:16:25Oh, my name's Ian Ogilvy
0:16:25 > 0:16:28and having just a little bit of Scottish blood in me,
0:16:28 > 0:16:31nothing, but nothing, would keep me away from this party
0:16:31 > 0:16:32to welcome in the New Year...
0:16:32 > 0:16:36Smooth. Shame he's got to use the back door, though.
0:16:36 > 0:16:40# Yeah, things are gonna go my way... #
0:16:42 > 0:16:45This went out on the ITV network and, as the show's title suggests,
0:16:45 > 0:16:49it's very much a case of out with the old and in with the new.
0:16:49 > 0:16:53Look at how they celebrate the run-up to the bells.
0:16:53 > 0:16:56They didn't LEARN these moves from the White Heather Club.
0:16:58 > 0:17:01# Who can say just what might happen? #
0:17:03 > 0:17:08# Let's go to the disco... #
0:17:08 > 0:17:11We're now well into the '80s, and STV are single-handedly
0:17:11 > 0:17:13keeping disco alive.
0:17:13 > 0:17:17Their shows from this time didn't take themselves too seriously,
0:17:17 > 0:17:19but it was all good, clean fun.
0:17:19 > 0:17:21That was a track from Russ's last album.
0:17:21 > 0:17:24At least, we all hope it's his last album.
0:17:24 > 0:17:28And that will be released at the same time as Rudolf Hess. Now...
0:17:28 > 0:17:32LAUGHTER Oh, that's wicked. A nice audience here tonight.
0:17:32 > 0:17:36Behave yourselves or we'll bring on Sydney Devine early.
0:17:38 > 0:17:40It became a new tradition to take the mickey out of the shows
0:17:40 > 0:17:43as you were making them. Here's Russ Abbott again, making the most
0:17:43 > 0:17:45of his ginger gene.
0:17:46 > 0:17:49His dancing might be out, but his comic timing's spot on here.
0:17:49 > 0:17:51RUSS COUGHS AND SPLUTTERS
0:17:55 > 0:17:57Oh, that was beautiful.
0:17:57 > 0:18:00There's a long tradition of people playing the drunk
0:18:00 > 0:18:03on our Hogmanay shows, but they're usually drinking this stuff.
0:18:03 > 0:18:06In 1984, the BBC decided to go one better
0:18:06 > 0:18:11and let people do it for real. Never really a good idea on live telly.
0:18:12 > 0:18:16- BELL CHIMES - This is Gleneagles Hotel
0:18:16 > 0:18:22and these aren't TV extras, but real-life champagne-quaffing guests.
0:18:22 > 0:18:27One of my friends, he had taken a table that night and suddenly, he'd said,
0:18:27 > 0:18:30"We had all these technicians pushing us out the road
0:18:30 > 0:18:33"and dragging cables under their table and all that."
0:18:33 > 0:18:36He said, "We were very resentful."
0:18:37 > 0:18:39Now, to give the BBC their due,
0:18:39 > 0:18:44this is more like the way we behave at home than the White Heather Club.
0:18:44 > 0:18:48There were people there - quite sort of posh people, well-off people -
0:18:48 > 0:18:52who had booked a New Year's Eve dinner there and when they booked it,
0:18:52 > 0:18:56nobody said, "Oh, by the way, there's going to be a whole camera crew
0:18:56 > 0:18:59and we're taking over the hotel and recording this show.
0:18:59 > 0:19:02So their dinner had been ruined.
0:19:02 > 0:19:04I always remember dear old Chic Murray saying,
0:19:04 > 0:19:08"What the hell's going on here? What's going on?" Ha!
0:19:09 > 0:19:10The stage is now set
0:19:10 > 0:19:13for one of the greatest entrances in the history of showbiz.
0:19:16 > 0:19:19Chic Murray, if you're up there watching, I'm sorry.
0:19:30 > 0:19:32Utter chaos.
0:19:32 > 0:19:33Yes, I'm over there.
0:19:33 > 0:19:37I'm in the tall grass. I didn't see you there. Yes.
0:19:37 > 0:19:39I've got to give this away first.
0:19:42 > 0:19:46I can't... I can't... There's no cameras on me.
0:19:47 > 0:19:50At this point, everyone just seems to have given up
0:19:50 > 0:19:53on the idea of making a TV programme altogether.
0:19:53 > 0:19:55And when I say "everyone", I mean, everyone.
0:19:59 > 0:20:03By the early '90s, STV and the BBC had been trading Hogmanay punches
0:20:03 > 0:20:05for more than 30 years
0:20:05 > 0:20:09and STV couldn't resist a playful little jab below the belt.
0:20:09 > 0:20:10And who can blame them?
0:20:10 > 0:20:14And 100,000 welcomes or, as we say up here in Glencampbelly,
0:20:14 > 0:20:17Ceud mile failte. We're coming to you live...
0:20:17 > 0:20:21A live show with in-built technical hitches. I wonder where this idea came from?
0:20:21 > 0:20:25What if we kind of show it as the disaster from the hotel?
0:20:25 > 0:20:27It was a bit of a piss-take, really,
0:20:27 > 0:20:32of that BBC Hogmanay show, that legendary BBC Hogmanay show.
0:20:32 > 0:20:37'I just took everything I heard about that show and turned it into mine.'
0:20:37 > 0:20:41Great stuff, lads! Right, er, what's happening next?
0:20:41 > 0:20:44Anybody got any idea?
0:20:44 > 0:20:47This was one of three shows written by Alex Norton.
0:20:47 > 0:20:50It poked fun at the format, while showcasing the talents
0:20:50 > 0:20:52of STV's roster of stars.
0:20:52 > 0:20:55From here, it's only a short step to full-on satire.
0:20:55 > 0:20:57Step forward, Rikki Fulton.
0:20:57 > 0:20:59- Stop the countdown, Jim!- 5...4...
0:20:59 > 0:21:03- Thousands of innocent people could suffer!- 3...2...1...
0:21:03 > 0:21:05Cue announcer!
0:21:05 > 0:21:08'Now we go over to Aberdeen and The Hogmanay Show.'
0:21:08 > 0:21:10LAUGHTER
0:21:10 > 0:21:13And it was almost as if Hogmanay wasn't Hogmanay
0:21:13 > 0:21:17unless you had Scotch And Wry. People just
0:21:17 > 0:21:21expected it. That meant that Ricky
0:21:21 > 0:21:26could explore all the different facets of the Scottish persona.
0:21:27 > 0:21:30There's something about Rikki Fulton's maudlin sense of humour
0:21:30 > 0:21:33that chimes perfectly with this time of year.
0:21:33 > 0:21:36And check out a young Gregor Fisher, as the lily-livered sidekick.
0:21:36 > 0:21:38Thank you, thank you.
0:21:38 > 0:21:41Now, we'd like to begin with a song we've composed
0:21:41 > 0:21:44about the Glencoe Massacre.
0:21:44 > 0:21:47It was a brutal time, when brother butchered brother,
0:21:47 > 0:21:50when men hacked bits off other men.
0:21:50 > 0:21:53When soldiers with dirty great long swords
0:21:53 > 0:21:58disembowelled other soldiers with swords that wurnae quite as long.
0:21:58 > 0:22:03It was a time when rivers ran with blood
0:22:03 > 0:22:07and oozing entrails stained the heather.
0:22:07 > 0:22:10The chorus we've written goes,
0:22:10 > 0:22:14"They grabbed his heid and severed it and then ripped oot his tongue.
0:22:14 > 0:22:19"It wriggled like a jellied eel on the grund where it was flung.
0:22:19 > 0:22:24"They beat his brains to a throbbing mush and slashed his guts asunder
0:22:24 > 0:22:26"and cut his hert oot wi' a dirk,
0:22:26 > 0:22:28"and he died, nae bloody wonder."
0:22:34 > 0:22:38In 1999, the big boys came and stole New Year away from us.
0:22:38 > 0:22:42Suddenly, every country on the planet was vying to see who could
0:22:42 > 0:22:45throw the biggest party and there was no way the BBC high heid yins
0:22:45 > 0:22:50in London were going to let Scotland host the coverage. They even took Jackie Bird
0:22:50 > 0:22:53and banished her to the furthest corner of the kingdom.
0:22:53 > 0:22:56At least they didn't make her carry a Christmas tree.
0:22:56 > 0:22:57Yep, we're back in Unst.
0:22:57 > 0:23:03I think what we're going to do is go straight over now to the Shetlands
0:23:03 > 0:23:06and Jackie Bird. As you just mentioned, Peter,
0:23:06 > 0:23:09it's just moments away, sunset. Jackie.
0:23:09 > 0:23:12WIND WHIPS
0:23:12 > 0:23:16Well, I'm afraid there's not much to see here. It is only the edge
0:23:16 > 0:23:18of Britain, but right at this moment,
0:23:18 > 0:23:20it feels like the end of the world.
0:23:20 > 0:23:24I'm at the RAF radar base on the island of Unst,
0:23:24 > 0:23:25at the very tip of Britain...
0:23:25 > 0:23:29If you'd rather not know how Jackie managed to stay on her feet, look away now.
0:23:31 > 0:23:34Ha! It's amazing the support you get when you're working for the network.
0:23:34 > 0:23:40And this is also - if I can stay upright for long enough - a maritime crossroads, where the Atlantic
0:23:40 > 0:23:44meets the North Sea and, if you go over there, far enough,
0:23:44 > 0:23:48and hop over Greenland, you will eventually reach Canada.
0:23:48 > 0:23:49Canada?
0:23:49 > 0:23:51Argh!
0:23:52 > 0:23:55In the run-up to the Millennium, there were dire predictions
0:23:55 > 0:23:59of computer meltdown and global Armageddon.
0:23:59 > 0:24:03These things did not come to pass, but when the world's back was turned
0:24:03 > 0:24:06there were dark forces at work in Scotland,
0:24:06 > 0:24:09or to be more precise, Glendarroch, where the makers of the much-loved
0:24:09 > 0:24:13High Road decided it was time to mess with their characters' heads.
0:24:15 > 0:24:17That's weird.
0:24:18 > 0:24:22I've been looking all over the place for you.
0:24:24 > 0:24:27This is quite possibly the weirdest thing that has ever happened
0:24:27 > 0:24:32in the history of Scottish broadcasting. Nothing in this couthie soap's 20-year life
0:24:32 > 0:24:34prepared us for scenes like these.
0:24:38 > 0:24:39SHE SCREAMS
0:24:40 > 0:24:43- Back, all of you!- What is that?
0:24:43 > 0:24:44She's mine!
0:24:45 > 0:24:48So, finally caught up with you!
0:24:50 > 0:24:53This is like The Wicker Man meets The Blair Witch Project
0:24:53 > 0:24:55on the set of Rentaghost.
0:24:55 > 0:24:58I'm not going to try to begin to make sense of what's going on here,
0:24:58 > 0:24:59but I believe the young man
0:24:59 > 0:25:02with the Christmas bauble coming out of his chest is Ewan the Postie.
0:25:04 > 0:25:06I was on the set
0:25:06 > 0:25:11and somebody said, "Right, this is where the entity comes in."
0:25:11 > 0:25:15And I said, "Sorry, the what?"
0:25:15 > 0:25:18"The entity. You see the entity."
0:25:20 > 0:25:23And I said, "What's an entity, what do you mean?"
0:25:23 > 0:25:26"Oh, it's all right, we'll put it on afterwards."
0:25:26 > 0:25:29And I said, "Yes, but I have to know what I'm looking at."
0:25:29 > 0:25:34"It'll be up in that corner," they said. "And you're frightened."
0:25:34 > 0:25:39'So I played a whole scene - I come out in a cold sweat
0:25:39 > 0:25:42'just thinking about it - I played a whole scene going,'
0:25:42 > 0:25:44"Argh! Argh!"
0:25:44 > 0:25:46DEMONIC LAUGHTER
0:25:50 > 0:25:52'And then when I saw it,'
0:25:52 > 0:25:57it was a tiny little... a tiny little whirl of lights
0:25:57 > 0:26:00that I would hardly have noticed,
0:26:00 > 0:26:02so that was the Millennium episode for me,
0:26:02 > 0:26:05thank you very much, whoever's idea that was.
0:26:05 > 0:26:09Two hour-long Millennium specials sneaked out, one before the bells
0:26:09 > 0:26:13and one on New Year's Day. And no-one seemed to take any notice.
0:26:13 > 0:26:16Did they happen at all? Were they all a dream?
0:26:16 > 0:26:18I mean, there's so much great stuff
0:26:18 > 0:26:21from these two shows that I'd love to show you,
0:26:21 > 0:26:23but I've limited myself to my top three moments.
0:26:23 > 0:26:26Argh! Get that thing away from me!
0:26:28 > 0:26:31Number one, Davie Sneddon goes to Hell.
0:26:31 > 0:26:33Why are YOU here?
0:26:33 > 0:26:37You are here for the same reason everyone comes here.
0:26:37 > 0:26:42You have never loved another human being.
0:26:42 > 0:26:44I like that in a man.
0:26:46 > 0:26:49Two, Mrs Mack lets her hair down.
0:26:49 > 0:26:52Yeah, that's her belly dancing.
0:26:54 > 0:26:58Three, Davie Sneddon goes to Heaven.
0:26:58 > 0:27:02# ..With the sun
0:27:02 > 0:27:06# And I will love thee still... #
0:27:06 > 0:27:09The world survived into the 21st century,
0:27:09 > 0:27:11but the High Road, sadly, did not.
0:27:11 > 0:27:14When rogue developers turned Glendarroch into a swanky marina,
0:27:14 > 0:27:17they removed the last trace of shortbread-tin Scotland
0:27:17 > 0:27:18from the TV schedules.
0:27:20 > 0:27:23Our Hogmanay shows, too, have moved with the times
0:27:23 > 0:27:27and no longer feel the need to wear their tartan on their sleeves.
0:27:27 > 0:27:29Or anywhere else, for that matter.
0:27:29 > 0:27:33We've even found someone to sit in for Jimmy Shand.
0:27:33 > 0:27:36The audience expect different things now.
0:27:36 > 0:27:39Some people don't like traditional music,
0:27:39 > 0:27:40they prefer contemporary music,
0:27:40 > 0:27:43so why should they be left out of the Hogmanay celebration?
0:27:58 > 0:28:01So there you have it - Hogmanay TV.
0:28:01 > 0:28:04A wee bit shonky here and there.
0:28:04 > 0:28:05And there.
0:28:05 > 0:28:07And there, again.
0:28:07 > 0:28:09But that doesn't matter.
0:28:09 > 0:28:12These programmes weren't made to stand the test of time.
0:28:12 > 0:28:15They were made to celebrate the moment and to give those of us
0:28:15 > 0:28:17who see in the New Year at home
0:28:17 > 0:28:20the chance to feel as if we're part of something bigger.
0:28:20 > 0:28:23Lang may their lums reek
0:28:23 > 0:28:25and lang may their accordions creak!
0:28:27 > 0:28:30SCOTTISH REEL MUSIC PLAYS
0:28:42 > 0:28:44Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:28:51 > 0:28:55A Happy New Year to all my friends, wherever they may be.