0:00:02 > 0:00:03Ah, the morning routine -
0:00:03 > 0:00:06a couple of hours that brings half a million of us out
0:00:06 > 0:00:08and onto Northern Ireland's roads.
0:00:08 > 0:00:10It's rarely the highlight of anyone's day...
0:00:10 > 0:00:12Another day, another dollar.
0:00:12 > 0:00:14Another day, another tuppence ha'penny.
0:00:14 > 0:00:16Ready for another day in paradise?
0:00:16 > 0:00:18It can bring out the best in some...
0:00:18 > 0:00:20You had a row with her last night
0:00:20 > 0:00:22and the best part of having a row is the making up.
0:00:22 > 0:00:24..the worst in others...
0:00:24 > 0:00:26Oh, come on, mister, come on!
0:00:26 > 0:00:29..and, occasionally, the downright bizarre.
0:00:29 > 0:00:31"I have something to say to the American people here today."
0:00:32 > 0:00:34HE BARKS
0:00:34 > 0:00:37So, buckle up, everyone, as we take you on the commute.
0:00:37 > 0:00:39THEY SCREAM
0:00:43 > 0:00:45MUSIC: Work by Rihanna
0:00:47 > 0:00:48# Just get ready fi...
0:00:48 > 0:00:49# Work, work, work, work, work, work
0:00:49 > 0:00:50# He say me have to
0:00:50 > 0:00:52# Work, work, work work, work, work!
0:00:52 > 0:00:53# He see me do me
0:00:53 > 0:00:55# Dirt, dirt, dirt dirt, dirt, dirt!
0:00:55 > 0:00:57# Work, work, work work, work, work. #
0:00:57 > 0:00:59What sort of song is that? "Work, work, work"?
0:00:59 > 0:01:01Who wants to go to work?
0:01:01 > 0:01:03Oh, I could sleep for a week.
0:01:03 > 0:01:04HE YAWNS
0:01:07 > 0:01:09I'm just not in the routine, to be honest.
0:01:09 > 0:01:11I know, like, getting up early again.
0:01:14 > 0:01:17It's back to the daily grind for our commuters
0:01:17 > 0:01:20and, for our schools, the end of eight weeks off.
0:01:20 > 0:01:23But, in Carrickfergus, Angelica and her children are worried
0:01:23 > 0:01:26that two months off in the summer could be a thing of the past.
0:01:26 > 0:01:28They're cutting the holidays? Yeah.
0:01:28 > 0:01:30Yeah, I heard that...
0:01:30 > 0:01:31Are you actually trying to kill me?
0:01:31 > 0:01:35And also, they're also trying to make the school days longer.
0:01:35 > 0:01:36Heck!
0:01:36 > 0:01:40Excuse me, we work our bums off for, like, six hours straight,
0:01:40 > 0:01:43then they give us homework to do all night.
0:01:43 > 0:01:46I know, it's like... Why would they make it longer?
0:01:46 > 0:01:48Like, why can't school just start at one in the afternoon
0:01:48 > 0:01:50and end at three?
0:01:50 > 0:01:52Would you like that? Staying in school a wee bit longer?
0:01:52 > 0:01:54Are you joking? Are you actually joking right now?
0:01:54 > 0:01:57She'd love that. Ah, when yous are out working, you'll be saying,
0:01:57 > 0:02:00"School was the best day of my life." I doubt it, Mum.
0:02:00 > 0:02:03"We would give our left arm to get back into school again."
0:02:03 > 0:02:05No stress, no bills... School is stressful!
0:02:05 > 0:02:06No stress... It is stressful.
0:02:06 > 0:02:11Mum, school is stressful. Compared to real life? Yeah.
0:02:13 > 0:02:16I would like to go like England - six weeks, a week off,
0:02:16 > 0:02:19six weeks, a week off.
0:02:19 > 0:02:22I would cope with that, but not longer school hours, definitely not.
0:02:22 > 0:02:25How many people would walk out of the job if you made it shorter?
0:02:25 > 0:02:28Sure, in England, it's shorter, nobody's left there.
0:02:28 > 0:02:29I used to teach in England. It was six weeks.
0:02:29 > 0:02:31Did they understand you?!
0:02:35 > 0:02:40Teachers are lovely people, but, you know, they get it handy.
0:02:40 > 0:02:45Nine weeks in the summer, mid-term, half-term, Christmas...
0:02:45 > 0:02:48So, you'd be ending up, what?
0:02:48 > 0:02:50Four, five months in the year?
0:02:50 > 0:02:53Ah, but I guarantee you teachers complain about that.
0:02:53 > 0:02:54Listen, I don't care what anybody says,
0:02:54 > 0:02:57the amount of work that we do, totally in downtime,
0:02:57 > 0:03:00as everybody would say, out the door at 3:30, you know,
0:03:00 > 0:03:02I know what's done outside school.
0:03:02 > 0:03:04We need the holidays, I'll tell you that.
0:03:04 > 0:03:05Nothing worse than schoolteachers -
0:03:05 > 0:03:08all you hear is, "Oh, work, work, work,"
0:03:08 > 0:03:11and every five minutes they're on holidays.
0:03:11 > 0:03:15It's a very stressful job but, for you, it's just unbelievable.
0:03:15 > 0:03:18You need to be a social worker and everything else
0:03:18 > 0:03:20when you're in schools nowadays.
0:03:20 > 0:03:24It's not just about teaching anyone, it's a nightmare for some people.
0:03:24 > 0:03:25It's so busy.
0:03:25 > 0:03:29I was talking to a teacher and they were more or less saying
0:03:29 > 0:03:33that they felt they needed six months off in the year
0:03:33 > 0:03:34because of the stress.
0:03:36 > 0:03:38On the road to Ballycastle High School,
0:03:38 > 0:03:42English teacher Michael is dealing with a stressful issue.
0:03:42 > 0:03:45How is it, that whenever you go to the sock basket,
0:03:45 > 0:03:48it's impossible to find a pair of socks? You've got a sock basket?
0:03:48 > 0:03:51You have a basket... Sock basket? ..for socks?
0:03:51 > 0:03:55What is a sock basket? This is like one of those...
0:03:55 > 0:04:00not wicker thing - plastic, purple basket - and into it go me smalls.
0:04:00 > 0:04:02I wouldn't have enough space in my room to put a sock basket.
0:04:02 > 0:04:04A sock basket, eh?
0:04:04 > 0:04:08I have it in the side room, in the built-in walk-in wardrobe,
0:04:08 > 0:04:10off of the West Wing. Of course I do(!)
0:04:10 > 0:04:13It's a basket! How much room, you know...?
0:04:13 > 0:04:14You don't need to take up a lot of room!
0:04:14 > 0:04:17Aye, and they call themselves smart, you know what I mean?
0:04:17 > 0:04:19Yeah, definitely not.
0:04:19 > 0:04:21# I live my day as if it was the last
0:04:21 > 0:04:24# Live my day as if there was no past
0:04:24 > 0:04:27# Doin' it all night, all summer
0:04:27 > 0:04:29# Doin' it the way I wanna... #
0:04:32 > 0:04:36Considering we spend an average of 164 hours a year commuting,
0:04:36 > 0:04:39it's no surprise that frustration can sometimes kick in.
0:04:39 > 0:04:40Aah!
0:04:40 > 0:04:42What is going on here? This is ridiculous!
0:04:42 > 0:04:44Whoa, what's that all about?!
0:04:44 > 0:04:46THEY SCREAM
0:04:46 > 0:04:47SHE LAUGHS
0:04:47 > 0:04:48I just ran over a seagull!
0:04:57 > 0:04:59Come on, come on!
0:04:59 > 0:05:01Let us in, big lad.
0:05:01 > 0:05:02There you go, there you go.
0:05:02 > 0:05:04He was thinking and thinking about it,
0:05:04 > 0:05:05I don't know what the hell he was doing.
0:05:05 > 0:05:07He didn't want to take a chance.
0:05:07 > 0:05:08He probably knows we're two gays.
0:05:08 > 0:05:10Well, you are, anyway.
0:05:10 > 0:05:12Well, the way you're sitting with your hands, I'm not surprised.
0:05:12 > 0:05:14I'm trying to hold my stomach in.
0:05:14 > 0:05:17I know I talk about this every Monday morning,
0:05:17 > 0:05:20but I really, seriously need to do something with my stomach.
0:05:24 > 0:05:26It's estimated that almost a quarter of us
0:05:26 > 0:05:28are constantly trying to lose some weight
0:05:28 > 0:05:30and it's got Belfast brother and sister
0:05:30 > 0:05:33Bellal and Arousa talking diets.
0:05:33 > 0:05:36There's all this stuff like Atkins diet - what happened to that?
0:05:36 > 0:05:39Do people still do that? The GI diet... Do you think that...?
0:05:39 > 0:05:41Is it called Commando diet?
0:05:41 > 0:05:43It's, like, nine boiled eggs,
0:05:43 > 0:05:45so you have three boiled eggs for breakfast,
0:05:45 > 0:05:48three boiled eggs for lunch and three boiled eggs for dinner.
0:05:48 > 0:05:50Bellal, I'd crack a window open if I were you, man.
0:05:50 > 0:05:53A lot of people are interested in that 3:2 diet,
0:05:53 > 0:05:57which is kind of a bit like fasting for us, you know?
0:05:57 > 0:06:00It's difficult, Ramadan, but it's so enjoyable.
0:06:00 > 0:06:04Yeah. You just can't believe that your body can actually do it.
0:06:07 > 0:06:09I just really need to get rid of my belly.
0:06:09 > 0:06:11This is the first day of my diet -
0:06:11 > 0:06:14the very first day that I'm going to try and lose some weight.
0:06:14 > 0:06:17Every Monday, in our house, there's a new diet. Yeah.
0:06:17 > 0:06:19Starting Monday. Start on Monday. Start on Monday.
0:06:19 > 0:06:21It's Tuesday, and we're like, "Oh, not here.
0:06:21 > 0:06:23"I'll just wait till Monday." Yeah, just wait till Monday.
0:06:23 > 0:06:26Laura's 19 and I'm still losing my baby fat.
0:06:26 > 0:06:28THEY LAUGH
0:06:28 > 0:06:30Oh, my God!
0:06:30 > 0:06:32What's in that bag of yours?
0:06:32 > 0:06:36Sounds like...baubles or something. A box of Revels...
0:06:36 > 0:06:39for me dad. Oh, aye, surely(!)
0:06:39 > 0:06:41It's only a box of Revels! A box?!
0:06:41 > 0:06:43They say they're low in fat.
0:06:43 > 0:06:45Well, do you not think that was good that I done yesterday?
0:06:45 > 0:06:49Cos I bought them Good For You low-fat rice cakes.
0:06:49 > 0:06:51No, them things are stinking.
0:06:51 > 0:06:53But then did you not see the two packets of crisps I bought?!
0:06:53 > 0:06:55And you bought two big, massive bags.
0:06:55 > 0:06:56Well, I couldn't decide
0:06:56 > 0:06:59whether to get salt and vinegar or cracked black pepper,
0:06:59 > 0:07:01so I thought I'd just get both.
0:07:01 > 0:07:02But you buy a slimming thing in one hand,
0:07:02 > 0:07:04and then you buy that - two big bags of crisps - in the other.
0:07:04 > 0:07:07I know, but it doesn't say I'm going to eat them.
0:07:07 > 0:07:09I'll eat the slimming things and just leave them.
0:07:09 > 0:07:13Aye, you will. That's just in case visitors come in.
0:07:13 > 0:07:14And you'll give them a bag of crisps?
0:07:14 > 0:07:16Well, nibbles.
0:07:16 > 0:07:19You know the way you always talk about nibbles.
0:07:23 > 0:07:28In Belfast, Arousa is over-sharing her experiences of Ramadan.
0:07:28 > 0:07:30You know when we're fasting, right?
0:07:30 > 0:07:32Yeah. I sometimes fall asleep on the bog.
0:07:32 > 0:07:36Mm... What...? Do you do that? No!
0:07:36 > 0:07:39You know, when you're like... You filthy animal.
0:07:41 > 0:07:44Like, when someone gets you up, right, for, like, suhur,
0:07:44 > 0:07:48and when you're fasting - you went to bed at 12:30,
0:07:48 > 0:07:53and you're up again at, like, 1:45 to eat... Mm-hm.
0:07:53 > 0:07:55..and then you're sitting there, and you're like...
0:07:55 > 0:07:58and then you just fall asleep, until someone knocks and goes,
0:07:58 > 0:08:01"What are you doing? Get out of the bathroom."
0:08:05 > 0:08:07Apparently, bars of Aero chocolate,
0:08:07 > 0:08:09you can eat as many of them as you want
0:08:09 > 0:08:11because there's holes in it!
0:08:13 > 0:08:15I mean, for chocolate... How many bars of chocolate do you want?
0:08:15 > 0:08:17If you think about it, if you pick up an Aero bar,
0:08:17 > 0:08:19it is lighter than a Mars bar.
0:08:19 > 0:08:21It's the number of calories and the amount of fat in it, genius.
0:08:21 > 0:08:23Eh? Jesus! What?
0:08:23 > 0:08:25It is lighter!
0:08:25 > 0:08:27You stand in Tesco's, "Which cream trifle should I have?"
0:08:27 > 0:08:30"Can I have a whole Pavlova cos it's really light, so it is."
0:08:30 > 0:08:32Thanks, lads. Thanks for your support.
0:08:32 > 0:08:35MUSIC: Sissyneck by Beck
0:08:39 > 0:08:42Do you know, I've got an app on my phone, right? Right.
0:08:42 > 0:08:43That if I'm going to buy something,
0:08:43 > 0:08:46I wave my phone in front of it
0:08:46 > 0:08:50and it tells me how many sugar cubes per spoonful -
0:08:50 > 0:08:52and it's quite frightening, it really is.
0:08:52 > 0:08:55There you are, you see? You're frightened by the information
0:08:55 > 0:08:58the government is giving you! You see? They're scaremongering.
0:08:58 > 0:09:01What I'm saying is, it's not that you want to eat this,
0:09:01 > 0:09:04it's just the trouble with, "Oh, right to choose, right to choose".
0:09:04 > 0:09:07You should have the right to choose that this is what...
0:09:07 > 0:09:10You get the information, OK, but if you choose to do this,
0:09:10 > 0:09:12you know, well, then, that's fine.
0:09:12 > 0:09:14There was one thing that I was buying,
0:09:14 > 0:09:16OK, I can't remember what it was,
0:09:16 > 0:09:19and it had something like 32 sugar cubes in the box.
0:09:19 > 0:09:23Yeah, but maybe you only have those 32 sugar cubes once a month.
0:09:23 > 0:09:25I nearly had a heart attack.
0:09:25 > 0:09:26Everything in moderation.
0:09:26 > 0:09:28Obviously, I've been getting it wrong for years.
0:09:28 > 0:09:30It doesn't show.
0:09:30 > 0:09:32I think at the same time... RINGTONE: # ..move it
0:09:32 > 0:09:34# I like to move it, move it
0:09:34 > 0:09:37# I like to move it, move it you like to... #
0:09:37 > 0:09:40You should take some advice from your ringtone!
0:09:44 > 0:09:46Still eating two bags of crisps a day, Tommy?
0:09:46 > 0:09:48Aye, I eat two packets of crisps a day, that's right.
0:09:48 > 0:09:49That'll catch up on you, Thomas!
0:09:49 > 0:09:51Yeah. Sure, look at you already -
0:09:51 > 0:09:52you've put on a stone of weight, nearly,
0:09:52 > 0:09:55from last year. Crisps, crisps...
0:09:55 > 0:09:57You are what you eat, boys.
0:09:57 > 0:09:59You contradict yourself because you sit in work
0:09:59 > 0:10:00and you go, "I'm on the granary bread."
0:10:00 > 0:10:03And you go home at night and come in the next day, and what do you say?
0:10:03 > 0:10:06"Oh, I fancied a Chinese last night, so I had a Chinese
0:10:06 > 0:10:08"and I had a big bag of them potato crisps,
0:10:08 > 0:10:10"and I sat and watched a movie."
0:10:10 > 0:10:12Once a month I treat myself to something like that. Once a month?
0:10:12 > 0:10:14Every bloody week!
0:10:14 > 0:10:16I'm focused... You're not playing football any more,
0:10:16 > 0:10:17your career's finished.
0:10:17 > 0:10:19Players only start... You told us ages ago
0:10:19 > 0:10:21you were going to win a championship medal -
0:10:21 > 0:10:22you haven't even won a bloody medal.
0:10:22 > 0:10:24When was the last time you played, lad?
0:10:24 > 0:10:26When was the last time you played? That's right, that's right.
0:10:26 > 0:10:28A week before Amsterdam. That was two months ago.
0:10:28 > 0:10:31You were a sub, and the boy held you by the throat down on the ground
0:10:31 > 0:10:33because you gave him a lot of abuse along the line.
0:10:35 > 0:10:39Well, the other thing they had was talking about colonics.
0:10:39 > 0:10:41Is that where you go on holiday? No, is that not like a full stop?
0:10:41 > 0:10:44One of those sort of strange full stops, in English, you know?
0:10:44 > 0:10:46Semi colonic!
0:10:46 > 0:10:47What's a colonic?
0:10:47 > 0:10:50Well, when you stick a pole up your bum, basically. A pole?
0:10:50 > 0:10:51A pole? A pole!
0:10:51 > 0:10:52A pipe! A pipe, or a pole?
0:10:54 > 0:10:56Is it a flagpole? How does that make you lose weight?
0:10:56 > 0:10:58No, I'm not saying it makes you lose weight,
0:10:58 > 0:11:00I'm just talking about the health idea behind it. The benefits.
0:11:00 > 0:11:02Just the benefits. Help you clear you out.
0:11:02 > 0:11:04Would you not be better with a dose of MoviPrep?
0:11:04 > 0:11:07It's a sort of thing the people on the Malone Road do in Belfast.
0:11:07 > 0:11:09I know, I know. Not for North Antrim, like.
0:11:09 > 0:11:12You'll find that your mouth is full most of the time...
0:11:12 > 0:11:15It pretty much is, yeah. ..with a coconut finger, or...
0:11:15 > 0:11:16It's been a while since we've had all of that.
0:11:16 > 0:11:19We haven't had a coconut finger for such a long time.
0:11:19 > 0:11:21We always have the coconut fingers when it's Mother's Day
0:11:21 > 0:11:23or Valentine's Day, or weddings... Yes. ..and we're really hungry,
0:11:23 > 0:11:25and then we have the coconut fingers,
0:11:25 > 0:11:27and everybody in work goes, "Oh, don't be getting me one.
0:11:27 > 0:11:28"I'm not eating anything"
0:11:28 > 0:11:29SHE SNORTS Mm.
0:11:33 > 0:11:35What about Stephen Nolan and this diet?
0:11:35 > 0:11:39What diet? What diet's he on now?
0:11:39 > 0:11:41Well, he eats these crisps, Sensations onion bhajis -
0:11:41 > 0:11:43instead of eating the crisps...
0:11:43 > 0:11:47Onion bhajis?! ..he's been licking the crisps!
0:11:47 > 0:11:49I actually think that's a very good idea
0:11:49 > 0:11:52because if you're looking for a bag - you know, if you're saying,
0:11:52 > 0:11:54"Oh, I could love a bag of crisps,"
0:11:54 > 0:11:56it's not for the fact of the matter, eating the crisps...
0:11:56 > 0:11:58Aye. Just lick them. It's the taste of them
0:11:58 > 0:12:00and the taste is on the surface.
0:12:00 > 0:12:02Licking your turkey dinner, then.
0:12:02 > 0:12:04I'll not eat it, I'll just lick it and put it back on the plate.
0:12:04 > 0:12:06What does he do? Does he put them back into the bag?
0:12:06 > 0:12:07What's he doing with them?
0:12:07 > 0:12:09Throwing them away? He must be putting them back in the bag
0:12:09 > 0:12:11and then passing them on to Vinny.
0:12:16 > 0:12:19From licking crisps in Moneymore to Joe in Newcastle,
0:12:19 > 0:12:23who thinks he's got the whole weight-loss thing licked.
0:12:23 > 0:12:25I'm in intensive training.
0:12:25 > 0:12:27I want something with chicken in it,
0:12:27 > 0:12:29just a chicken burger and fries. I don't want the lettuce,
0:12:29 > 0:12:31but could I get the mayo and the cheese, please? 'OK.'
0:12:31 > 0:12:33And the chips with that, as well. 'Yeah, no problem.'
0:12:33 > 0:12:35I'll take a Coke, please. 'Coke.'
0:12:35 > 0:12:41It makes sense. If you consume X amount of calories,
0:12:41 > 0:12:44and burn off higher X amount of calories,
0:12:44 > 0:12:46you're going to lose weight, end of.
0:12:46 > 0:12:49Can I get an additional chips with that, there?
0:12:49 > 0:12:50And see those wee...
0:12:50 > 0:12:51Do you do those wee cheese things,
0:12:51 > 0:12:53with the cheese inside the breadcrumbs?
0:12:53 > 0:12:55'Oh, yeah, cheese dippers?' Aye, cheese dippers.
0:12:55 > 0:12:57I'll go for that, yeah. 'OK.'
0:12:57 > 0:12:58That's everything.
0:12:58 > 0:13:02At the end of the day, if you are...
0:13:03 > 0:13:09..burning off more...than you eat, no matter what you're eating...
0:13:09 > 0:13:11you're going to lose weight.
0:13:17 > 0:13:19Why can I never have a good addiction?
0:13:23 > 0:13:26I'd like to be addicted to sticking to a diet, just...
0:13:26 > 0:13:28if I'm honest!
0:13:30 > 0:13:32# I am what I am
0:13:32 > 0:13:34# And what I am
0:13:34 > 0:13:37# Needs no excuses! #
0:13:38 > 0:13:40That's my theme tune.
0:13:41 > 0:13:44At the end of the day, you just have to change your lifestyle.
0:13:44 > 0:13:46Eat a wee bit less and try to exercise a bit more.
0:13:46 > 0:13:48You sound like Mr Motivator, there.
0:14:01 > 0:14:03No matter how good our diet or exercise regime,
0:14:03 > 0:14:06when it comes to our health, we all need the NHS.
0:14:06 > 0:14:09Joe in Newcastle is kicking this one off.
0:14:09 > 0:14:11Have you ever tried phoning the doctor's?
0:14:11 > 0:14:14You mean, have you ever tried taking a quiz with the receptionist?
0:14:14 > 0:14:16If you phone the doctor, you're phoning him for a reason
0:14:16 > 0:14:19and I'll tell you what the reason is. Are you ready for it?
0:14:19 > 0:14:20Right. You're sick.
0:14:20 > 0:14:25You want the person who answers the call to make you an appointment.
0:14:25 > 0:14:28Once you get to the doctor, they're fine. It's getting to them.
0:14:28 > 0:14:32I could one phone call and speak to somebody in the White House.
0:14:32 > 0:14:33To get to speak to my own doctor,
0:14:33 > 0:14:35I have to give make three or four phone calls,
0:14:35 > 0:14:36and then wait on a call back,
0:14:36 > 0:14:37then wait a few weeks to see him. Then you go
0:14:37 > 0:14:39and he says, "What's wrong with you?"
0:14:39 > 0:14:41I say, "Well, two weeks ago, this happened to me..."
0:14:41 > 0:14:42"I'm all right now, thanks."
0:14:42 > 0:14:45"..but I'm all right now, thanks very much."
0:14:47 > 0:14:49I was talking to somebody the other day
0:14:49 > 0:14:52and there were telling me that they had...
0:14:54 > 0:14:56..a worrying problem.
0:14:56 > 0:14:59I'm not going to say what it is, but it was a worry,
0:14:59 > 0:15:01and they went to the doctor... Yes.
0:15:01 > 0:15:05And the doctor referred them to a specialist.
0:15:05 > 0:15:07And that was in March,
0:15:07 > 0:15:12and they have just heard that they are going to have a scan.
0:15:12 > 0:15:16That person could have had an unfortunate event...
0:15:17 > 0:15:18..that would lead to a funeral.
0:15:18 > 0:15:20Sudden bowelage discharge.
0:15:21 > 0:15:22No!
0:15:22 > 0:15:24THEY LAUGH No!
0:15:31 > 0:15:35I think we should pay a small fee for prescriptions.
0:15:35 > 0:15:39Obviously pregnant women and, you know, people that really need them,
0:15:39 > 0:15:41like cancer sufferers and that there,
0:15:41 > 0:15:42I don't think they should pay.
0:15:42 > 0:15:46But it's like everything else. I'm sure there are people that get tablets and never use them, Elaine.
0:15:46 > 0:15:49Well, I would be happy enough to pay a prescription charge.
0:15:49 > 0:15:52The whole conception and implementation
0:15:52 > 0:15:56of the health service in the 1940s.
0:15:56 > 0:16:01Health service help free at the point of delivery.
0:16:02 > 0:16:05It's unbeatable. It really, really is.
0:16:05 > 0:16:10Sadly, it has become erm...a bit of a dinosaur.
0:16:10 > 0:16:14I must say that I have the greatest admiration and thanks
0:16:14 > 0:16:18to the NHS for all that I have received
0:16:18 > 0:16:21over the past 18 years on dialysis.
0:16:21 > 0:16:24I have got care beyond measure.
0:16:26 > 0:16:28Another thing they have in hospitals,
0:16:28 > 0:16:30which you never would have heard before,
0:16:30 > 0:16:33they've got this bleeding background music on. Really?
0:16:33 > 0:16:34Yes, in an awful lot of hospitals.
0:16:34 > 0:16:37Even whenever I went down for my operations, I couldn't believe it.
0:16:37 > 0:16:41Well, you know you like a little song and dance now and then. Yes, I do, but wait till I tell you,
0:16:41 > 0:16:43when I went down for my operations,
0:16:43 > 0:16:46the surgeon said, "Did you bring your CD with you?" I said, "I beg your pardon?"
0:16:46 > 0:16:50He said, "Yes, you know, we'll play music while we're doing the operations.
0:16:50 > 0:16:51You see. And I thought, "My goodness."
0:16:51 > 0:16:54I said, "Well, have you got the Chopin Nocturnes?"
0:16:54 > 0:16:58"No, no, no, but we've got a lot of these Michael Jackson and things like that."
0:16:58 > 0:17:01And I had visions of the hammer going on my knee,
0:17:01 > 0:17:04you know, "Be, be, be, be-be, be, be."
0:17:04 > 0:17:06# Talk to me baby
0:17:06 > 0:17:10# I'm going after this sweet craving, whoa-oh... #
0:17:10 > 0:17:13Over in Newry, Anne-Marie and the girls
0:17:13 > 0:17:15love a good auld hospital parking rant.
0:17:15 > 0:17:18There should be a big multi-storey car park there for the nurses.
0:17:18 > 0:17:20I know. Yeah. It's so bad.
0:17:20 > 0:17:22The last thing they need to be worrying about this somewhere to park.
0:17:22 > 0:17:25All Granda does is talk about the parking at the hospitals,
0:17:25 > 0:17:27it's very funny. That's what's important,
0:17:27 > 0:17:30especially as you Granda's getting on in years.
0:17:30 > 0:17:32Yeah, I know, but he's going to, like, say Nanny or something
0:17:32 > 0:17:36and, like, I would go with him, and he would talk on the way there
0:17:36 > 0:17:38about the parking and then he'll maybe talk about something else.
0:17:38 > 0:17:41And then he'll look for a parking space, and then it all depends
0:17:41 > 0:17:43on how that goes, you know?
0:17:43 > 0:17:46Like, the other day, we got one right outside the door.
0:17:46 > 0:17:49"Oh, it was good going, wasn't it? Good parking there."
0:17:49 > 0:17:54And he'd go in and then he'd tell Nanny about all of our parking experience on the way there.
0:17:54 > 0:18:00Now, the City Hospital is absolutely fantastic for parking.
0:18:00 > 0:18:02Do you think so?
0:18:02 > 0:18:06I think it's very good because, I'll tell you, you can park in that,
0:18:06 > 0:18:09you know, the lay-by and then you just walk in through the front doors.
0:18:09 > 0:18:11And there's a lady there at the side -
0:18:11 > 0:18:13you can go to her - she's very nice.
0:18:13 > 0:18:17You can ask her where A, B and C is and she will direct you.
0:18:17 > 0:18:21And if you need a chair, she will get a porter. But...
0:18:21 > 0:18:24Where you've just said, that's not a parking spot.
0:18:27 > 0:18:29My ma was up last night.
0:18:29 > 0:18:32You know, she was telling me that she was away to hospital.
0:18:32 > 0:18:35She was getting checked. She thought she was getting a pregnancy test.
0:18:35 > 0:18:38Her and my dad's trying for another late one, you know?
0:18:38 > 0:18:39What age is your ma?
0:18:39 > 0:18:41My ma's in her 50s.
0:18:41 > 0:18:43I was a late one myself.
0:18:43 > 0:18:45My ma says she got a crown.
0:18:45 > 0:18:49You know, she'd been to the dentist and she wanted the tooth out.
0:18:49 > 0:18:51But he offered to put...is it a crown?
0:18:53 > 0:18:55I don't know. He's putting a crown in, so...
0:18:55 > 0:18:58He worked and worked at her tooth, took her back again
0:18:58 > 0:19:02another day and then he must have capped her, whatever he'd done.
0:19:02 > 0:19:06And then, the next thing, he gave her a bill for nearly ?400.
0:19:06 > 0:19:09Was it a gold crown? I don't know what it was.
0:19:09 > 0:19:10I looked at it last night,
0:19:10 > 0:19:13but it was something like out of the Bee Gees.
0:19:15 > 0:19:18So, I've broken the back tooth. Have you?
0:19:18 > 0:19:21Will you get the...the what do they call it? The implants? The implant.
0:19:21 > 0:19:24Yes, it's ?3,000. Oh, really? Although a lot of people go foreign.
0:19:24 > 0:19:28Farn. Farn. The world would come to an end...
0:19:28 > 0:19:29The world would come to an end.
0:19:29 > 0:19:31..if Audrey fforbes-Hamilton had a farn implant.
0:19:31 > 0:19:33THEY LAUGH
0:19:33 > 0:19:35Oh, I'd be murdered if I told anybody.
0:19:35 > 0:19:38"Where did you get your implants?" "Poland."
0:19:38 > 0:19:39Yeah! GARY LAUGHS
0:19:39 > 0:19:43I'd be saying, "Harley Street! "Harley Street!"
0:19:43 > 0:19:46"Yes, a particular type of veneer!" "Absolutely."
0:19:46 > 0:19:49"Handcrafted, handcrafted." Yes!
0:19:49 > 0:19:52I'd be talking like you. You would.
0:19:52 > 0:19:54Absolutely. You'd be all... POSH LAUGHTER
0:19:56 > 0:19:59I cannot believe that I'm going to...is it Croatia?
0:19:59 > 0:20:03Where am I going to get my teeth fixed? It's not Croatia, is it?
0:20:03 > 0:20:05It is, is it? No?
0:20:05 > 0:20:08It's, like, ?3,000 cheaper than it is here.
0:20:08 > 0:20:10Is your teeth like the stars that come out at night? No.
0:20:10 > 0:20:13My teeth don't come out at night,
0:20:13 > 0:20:15but they're as crooked as a hind leg.
0:20:16 > 0:20:18So, what should be on the NHS?
0:20:18 > 0:20:21Probably not what James in Moneymore has in mind.
0:20:21 > 0:20:24You should be allowed to get boob jobs done on the NHS.
0:20:24 > 0:20:27I think you should, in fairness. I think... Hold on a wee second.
0:20:27 > 0:20:30No, I think... No, James. You're talking nonsense.
0:20:30 > 0:20:33You talk about them auld women walking about there with droopy boobs and stuff.
0:20:33 > 0:20:36You think if you get them... If they're on the NHS, Elaine,
0:20:36 > 0:20:37and if they're going to the NHS and
0:20:37 > 0:20:40they get boobs and they're walking about with boobs up to their chin,
0:20:40 > 0:20:42sure, it's good for everybody!
0:20:42 > 0:20:44It's good for us to look at, it's good for them to walk about with.
0:20:44 > 0:20:47Hang on. Everybody's a winner. Droopy boobs?
0:20:47 > 0:20:49Boob jobs do save lives
0:20:49 > 0:20:52cos there's a woman who got a boob job, I think she was in a car crash.
0:20:52 > 0:20:55Seriously, and I think the airbag didn't work or something like that,
0:20:55 > 0:20:57and her boob saved her life. That's ridiculous.
0:20:57 > 0:20:59No, it happened, though. That's ridiculous.
0:20:59 > 0:21:01It's ridiculous, but it happened.
0:21:01 > 0:21:03Did you laugh at the word boob? Yes!
0:21:08 > 0:21:11Did they not bring in that no-smoking ban?
0:21:12 > 0:21:15So, like, you're not meant to smoke at all on the premises, like,
0:21:15 > 0:21:17from you drive in to the hospital, the whole way.
0:21:17 > 0:21:19Oh, really?
0:21:19 > 0:21:22What happens if you're a patient? I know. Like, where do you go?
0:21:22 > 0:21:24Like, imagine, if you're, like, addicted... Mm-hmm.
0:21:24 > 0:21:28..and terminally ill and in hospital.
0:21:28 > 0:21:31Like, surely that's your only thing in life that you have.
0:21:31 > 0:21:35Like, that's your only relief. Like, that's really not fair.
0:21:35 > 0:21:38Like, where can they go, then? Where's the nearest place for them to go?
0:21:38 > 0:21:40They literally have to drive down to the main road. What?
0:21:40 > 0:21:43You're not allowed to smoke in your own car or anything. Why not your own car?
0:21:43 > 0:21:46What happens if they catch you, what do they do? You're fined.
0:21:46 > 0:21:49Aw, come on. And you can be asked to, like, leave the whole place.
0:21:50 > 0:21:52So, hold on.
0:21:52 > 0:21:54If you're terminally ill and your caught smoking in, like,
0:21:54 > 0:21:57your friend's car or something, that's it, you just have to...
0:21:57 > 0:22:00You're expected to leave the hospital? I don't know.
0:22:00 > 0:22:05Well, apparently it's under staff discretion. Awk, I think it's good.
0:22:05 > 0:22:07You're making this up as you go along, aren't you?
0:22:09 > 0:22:13What if e-cigarettes was available on the NHS? Would you? No.
0:22:13 > 0:22:15You're a smoker. No. Would you take an e-cigarette on the NHS? No.
0:22:17 > 0:22:20Surely it could only be a good thing. But that's not medication.
0:22:20 > 0:22:22I'm kind of a bit drawn on that one. I think...
0:22:23 > 0:22:25I think, if they were available,
0:22:25 > 0:22:28I think it might help a lot of people stop smoking. Hmm.
0:22:29 > 0:22:32Somewhere between Eglinton and Limavady, and via Nashville,
0:22:32 > 0:22:34there's music in the air.
0:22:34 > 0:22:36THEY SING: # Working nine to five
0:22:36 > 0:22:38# What a way to make a living... #
0:22:38 > 0:22:40# Islands in the stream... Kenny Rogers.
0:22:40 > 0:22:42# That is what we are... #
0:22:42 > 0:22:45Here's the all-time Belfast one...
0:22:45 > 0:22:47# I'll take the blanket from the bedroom... #
0:22:47 > 0:22:49THEY LAUGH
0:22:50 > 0:22:52MUSIC: The Cattle Call by Eddy Arnold
0:22:54 > 0:22:55Think Nathan Carter,
0:22:55 > 0:22:58think Derek Ryan, think jiving,
0:22:58 > 0:23:00and you'll be perfectly in tune with this morning's commuters.
0:23:00 > 0:23:02If only they were.
0:23:02 > 0:23:05# Rock me, Mama, like a wagon wheel.
0:23:05 > 0:23:08# Rock me, Mama, any way you feel... #
0:23:10 > 0:23:12That's the big scene at the minute. I know. I can't...
0:23:12 > 0:23:16I tried to learn to line dance and I just put everybody off, cos...
0:23:16 > 0:23:19I know, but it's not line dancing now. It's jiving.
0:23:19 > 0:23:22I know, but I can't do that either. Sure, Ian tried to teach me.
0:23:22 > 0:23:25I know, and Ian's a brilliant jiver. He is. He's very good.
0:23:25 > 0:23:30And I nearly dislocated my shoulder and broke his neck.
0:23:30 > 0:23:31Would you have a country band at your wedding?
0:23:33 > 0:23:34AMY LAUGHS
0:23:34 > 0:23:37Are you saying country as in, like, traditional music,
0:23:37 > 0:23:40like Christy Moore and Phil Coulter and...?
0:23:40 > 0:23:42So, are you saying, like, what do you call him?
0:23:42 > 0:23:46Derek Ryan? Like him? Like Derek Ryan. I don't mind it, but, like...
0:23:47 > 0:23:50I don't know, like. I know, I hate it. I hate it.
0:23:50 > 0:23:51I don't like...
0:23:51 > 0:23:55Maybe it's because I'm bad at jiving, but I just, like,
0:23:55 > 0:23:58I hate those really, really, really country bands.
0:23:58 > 0:24:03I hate country nights out. Like, you could never catch me in the Moy.
0:24:03 > 0:24:06I saw this video on Facebook and it was these two fellas,
0:24:06 > 0:24:09and they were as contrary as you like, like, they were hilarious,
0:24:09 > 0:24:13and they were saying that they go out to get the women in Monaghan.
0:24:13 > 0:24:17Right. And they actually, in the middle of the night,
0:24:17 > 0:24:20because they're so sweaty cos all they do is jive,
0:24:20 > 0:24:25they come out, put a wee bit of Lynx on and change their shirt.
0:24:26 > 0:24:29Now, could you imagine if you were making eyes at this fella
0:24:29 > 0:24:31that was jiving and he goes away for ten minutes,
0:24:31 > 0:24:33comes back and he's wearing a totally different outfit?
0:24:33 > 0:24:37You'd think there was something wrong there. But he's probably jiving, jiving, jiving,
0:24:37 > 0:24:38showing off all his moves.
0:24:38 > 0:24:39He'll be like, "I'm sweaty."
0:24:39 > 0:24:41Out he goes, he's picked his woman that he wants,
0:24:41 > 0:24:44freshens up and then he goes in and goes over and talks.
0:24:44 > 0:24:48And then she's probably all, "Oh, I seen you jiving. Can we have a wee go?"
0:24:48 > 0:24:50Oh, Grainne, is that how you'd be picked up?
0:24:50 > 0:24:53# Rock me, mama, like a wagon wheel... #
0:24:53 > 0:24:56Now over to our country correspondents in Newtownards.
0:24:56 > 0:24:59They do love an auld burrow on the dance floor.
0:24:59 > 0:25:02Hard to beat jiving, like, isn't it? A bit of craic.
0:25:02 > 0:25:03A bit of craic, sure, isn't it?
0:25:03 > 0:25:06Remember the day, Rob, we used to go there, chase women, aye?
0:25:06 > 0:25:08Aye. That was a day or two ago.
0:25:08 > 0:25:11It was, all right. That wasn't yesterday? Awk, maybe last week.
0:25:11 > 0:25:13THEY LAUGH
0:25:13 > 0:25:16A bit of jiving there the other week at your man's wedding, right enough.
0:25:16 > 0:25:19Aye. Oh. Flat out. Oh, near wrecked the shoes.
0:25:21 > 0:25:23Back to our experts on the road to Limavady.
0:25:23 > 0:25:27See some of the music at the minute that has all this here... No.
0:25:27 > 0:25:31My kids... That's a racket. My kids sing and I don't know what they're singing and it's probably as well,
0:25:31 > 0:25:34because, listening to one one time, I heard the F-word.
0:25:34 > 0:25:37No, that's not singing. You see, that's not.
0:25:37 > 0:25:39It's like, we're talking country music, sure.
0:25:39 > 0:25:41There's that one, Hit The Diff.
0:25:41 > 0:25:45# So hit the diff and pray that she goes all the way... #
0:25:45 > 0:25:48And a whole lot of the songs and that have innuendo.
0:25:50 > 0:25:52So... And that's country music.
0:25:52 > 0:25:55Rap has cursing in it and all that down low...
0:25:55 > 0:25:57Jiggy stuff.
0:25:57 > 0:26:00And now country music's doing it as well.
0:26:00 > 0:26:03Aye, country music isn't what it used to be. What do you call her, my...?
0:26:05 > 0:26:09# Once I shout it from the highest... #
0:26:09 > 0:26:14That's not country music. That's Doris Day. It is! Doris Day is all into her country music.
0:26:14 > 0:26:17She was in a country outfit. It's, like, well, she was in her... No, she was...
0:26:17 > 0:26:20It was a Western! Oh, aye, it was a cowboy.
0:26:20 > 0:26:23Well... Div. FIONNUALA LAUGHS
0:26:23 > 0:26:25Well, it sounds country to me.
0:26:25 > 0:26:28Hey, the country scene's a big thing now in...
0:26:28 > 0:26:29You know, everybody seems to be...
0:26:29 > 0:26:31People seem to be going instead of nightclubs.
0:26:31 > 0:26:35It seems to be you have to be able to dance at these things cos you... Can you jive, Rhondda?
0:26:35 > 0:26:37No, but me and Liam's going to go start jiving.
0:26:37 > 0:26:39Oh, you should go, definitely. Definitely.
0:26:39 > 0:26:42You should go to jiving classes. You come too, James.
0:26:42 > 0:26:46Awk, what would I know about jiving with me two left feet? I would love to be able to dance.
0:26:46 > 0:26:47I mind whenever I was 18, 19,
0:26:47 > 0:26:51you wouldn't have been dancing to country music then. It was all, like, um...
0:26:51 > 0:26:56Like, Sash and... Do you mind Sash and all them boys? That's '90s.
0:26:56 > 0:26:58That was... That was...
0:26:58 > 0:27:00That was back in the day. That was Oasis.
0:27:00 > 0:27:03I mind, whenever when they first come out, I went to Jingles in Limavady.
0:27:03 > 0:27:07and I went in and I says to the girl, I says, "Can I buy the Sash on CD? Well...
0:27:07 > 0:27:08THEY LAUGH
0:27:08 > 0:27:10And she gave me the Sash on CD, and I thought I was pure cool.
0:27:10 > 0:27:13I put me windows down and all. Turned it up full boot.
0:27:13 > 0:27:15And it wasn't the flipping Sash I was thinking it was!
0:27:15 > 0:27:18ELAINE LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY
0:27:18 > 0:27:20MUSIC: Encore Une Fois by Sash!
0:27:20 > 0:27:22FIONNUALA: Country music's nice, actually. People say it isn't,
0:27:22 > 0:27:24but at least you can dance to it.
0:27:24 > 0:27:28# Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
0:27:30 > 0:27:33# I'm begging you, please don't take my man... #
0:27:33 > 0:27:34Do you hear all the words?
0:27:34 > 0:27:36"Don't take my man."
0:27:36 > 0:27:38Take a fly around the bedroom, just cos we're not married.
0:27:38 > 0:27:41And they all grew up with no mas or das or... So...
0:27:41 > 0:27:45Don't you tell me country music is clean fun.
0:27:47 > 0:27:49MUSIC: Faded by Alan Walker
0:27:51 > 0:27:53Oh, that's it, boys. We're here anyway.
0:27:54 > 0:27:55THEY SCREAM
0:27:55 > 0:27:58What? THEY SCREAM AND LAUGH
0:27:58 > 0:27:59What? There is a moth.
0:27:59 > 0:28:01Right, get out of my sight.
0:28:01 > 0:28:03Here, here, here, remember to take her handy now, take her handy
0:28:03 > 0:28:05OK, bye! Bye! Bye!
0:28:06 > 0:28:10And so it's time to wish our commuters a pleasant day ahead,
0:28:10 > 0:28:12but they'll be back next week for a little bit of this...
0:28:12 > 0:28:15Gays are just becoming like heterosexuals,
0:28:15 > 0:28:18you know...boring.
0:28:18 > 0:28:19..some of this...
0:28:19 > 0:28:21Are you a Catholic Muslim?
0:28:21 > 0:28:23Or are you a Protestant one, Arousa?
0:28:23 > 0:28:25..and an awful lot more of this.
0:28:25 > 0:28:26Is it llama or llamai?
0:28:26 > 0:28:29Mummy said she loves me the most. I didn't.
0:28:29 > 0:28:30What's that smell?
0:28:30 > 0:28:32Waving to the bus man and didn't let him out.
0:28:32 > 0:28:33THEY LAUGH
0:28:33 > 0:28:35Right there? Stay where you are!
0:28:39 > 0:28:42MUSIC: Faded by Alan Walker