0:00:02 > 0:00:05Ah, the morning routine - a couple of hours that brings
0:00:05 > 0:00:08half a million of us out and onto Northern Ireland's roads.
0:00:08 > 0:00:10It's rarely the highlight of anyone's day...
0:00:10 > 0:00:11Another day, another dollar.
0:00:11 > 0:00:13Another day, another tuppence ha'penny.
0:00:13 > 0:00:16Ready for another day in paradise.
0:00:16 > 0:00:18It can be a time to make wedding plans...
0:00:18 > 0:00:21I'm a bit frightened cos probably I'LL have to end up marrying you.
0:00:21 > 0:00:23..a time to make those final plans...
0:00:23 > 0:00:25When the two heels are kicked up, I have told her,
0:00:25 > 0:00:27you're to put me in a Batman suit.
0:00:27 > 0:00:30..and a time when all plans go out the window altogether.
0:00:30 > 0:00:32HE CHUCKLES
0:00:32 > 0:00:36So buckle up, everyone, as we take you on The Commute.
0:00:36 > 0:00:38THEY SQUEAL
0:00:40 > 0:00:42MUSIC: Sing by Ed Sheeran
0:00:47 > 0:00:49Hey! Hey!
0:00:51 > 0:00:55# Oh-oh, livin' on a prayer. #
0:00:55 > 0:00:59# Are you sorry we drifted apart? #
0:00:59 > 0:01:01- # It's raining - Men
0:01:01 > 0:01:03# Hallelujah, it's raining men. #
0:01:05 > 0:01:10# I'll take you home again, Kathleen. #
0:01:16 > 0:01:19It's all about lurve for this morning's commuters.
0:01:19 > 0:01:21Over in Carrickfergus,
0:01:21 > 0:01:2511-year-old Leonardo has the whole relationship business worked out.
0:01:25 > 0:01:28If I would have a relationship, I'd make sure it's special.
0:01:28 > 0:01:30I can't have, like, ten special relationships.
0:01:30 > 0:01:32It just doesn't work like that.
0:01:32 > 0:01:35If you have the special relationship and then that person grows old
0:01:35 > 0:01:40and dies - yeah? - what stops that next relationship not being real?
0:01:40 > 0:01:43Because you can't get over your last relationship.
0:01:43 > 0:01:45Yes, it would take me a while. I'd probably take, like,
0:01:45 > 0:01:49two centuries to get over my one undying true love, but...
0:01:49 > 0:01:53You never know. In two centuries the Earth might not exist.
0:01:53 > 0:01:58Way to go, Leo! Cheery conversation on the way to school!
0:01:59 > 0:02:02See when I marry my farmer? I'll just have a small wedding.
0:02:02 > 0:02:06Me and her were in Balmoral Show and our eyes were like saucers,
0:02:06 > 0:02:08looking at the young fellas, all the young farmers.
0:02:08 > 0:02:10- Oh, my God!- They were.
0:02:10 > 0:02:12Yeah, they were! Checked shirts, jeans and brown shoes.
0:02:12 > 0:02:14- Isn't that right? - Yeah, that's right, Mum.
0:02:14 > 0:02:16And they're all going round looking at the masses.
0:02:16 > 0:02:19I'm going to find my husband at one of the Balmoral Shows.
0:02:19 > 0:02:23- I'm not joking.- Is that why you always go?- No!- She goes every year!
0:02:23 > 0:02:25- She loves it. She does. - I actually love it!
0:02:25 > 0:02:28Cos I'm going to be a farmer's wife when I'm older.
0:02:28 > 0:02:31And what if you get an auld boy? Does he have to be young or old?
0:02:31 > 0:02:36- Same age-ish.- There's loads of people that marry out of their age.
0:02:36 > 0:02:38Wrinkles!
0:02:38 > 0:02:40Well, the thing about men...
0:02:42 > 0:02:46- Like, is that even an answer to that word - men?- Kill.
0:02:46 > 0:02:48THEY CHUCKLE
0:02:52 > 0:02:56If tradition is not your thing, why not take a leaf out of Janet's book?
0:02:56 > 0:02:57It's tree-mendous.
0:02:57 > 0:03:03I was reading a magazine. There was an article in there about a woman
0:03:03 > 0:03:07who had fallen in love with a tree. He was called Tim.
0:03:07 > 0:03:11- Tim the tree?- Tim.- She wants to marry the tree. It's a true story.
0:03:11 > 0:03:13Isn't there some very odd people?
0:03:13 > 0:03:16# Cos if you like it, then you shoulda put a ring on it
0:03:16 > 0:03:18# If you like it, then you shoulda put a ring on it
0:03:18 > 0:03:19# Oh-oh-oh... #
0:03:20 > 0:03:23On their way to school in Newtownards, Bethany and Emily
0:03:23 > 0:03:26have thought this whole wedding thing through.
0:03:26 > 0:03:28What age do you want to get married at?
0:03:29 > 0:03:33Like, I don't know. 20...
0:03:34 > 0:03:38- Oh, I don't know, actually. - I want to get married at 21.
0:03:38 > 0:03:41- I love that number. - It's a good number.- Oh, OK!
0:03:41 > 0:03:46- What made you want to propose at the age of four?- I was stupid.
0:03:46 > 0:03:48- I didn't have a brain. - But I assisted you.
0:03:48 > 0:03:51- I remember getting this little card. - I remember you telling me, like,
0:03:51 > 0:03:54"Oh, Leo, you should even give her a ring."
0:03:54 > 0:03:57So you're dumb and you're dumber?
0:04:02 > 0:04:05- What did you do when you proposed to her, Gordy?- What did I do?
0:04:05 > 0:04:08We just had a romantic meal and I proposed.
0:04:08 > 0:04:10- Did you go down on one knee? - Aye, I was on the one knee.
0:04:10 > 0:04:14- Did she help you back up? - THEY CHUCKLE
0:04:14 > 0:04:17I wouldn't want the whole down on one knee and definitely not
0:04:17 > 0:04:18- in public.- Oh, no.
0:04:18 > 0:04:21Like, I rather would just be, like, driving and just be like,
0:04:21 > 0:04:23"Let's get married." Like, "All right."
0:04:23 > 0:04:27No, well, now, I don't want that but at the same time, I hate
0:04:27 > 0:04:30the thought of, like, a restaurant in front of loads of people.
0:04:30 > 0:04:32I hate the thought of somebody clapping at you.
0:04:32 > 0:04:35No, but, see, my thing is, if it's like, you're making
0:04:35 > 0:04:38the decision that you are going to get engaged or yous are going to get
0:04:38 > 0:04:41married... Like, I wouldn't want to be engaged just to be engaged for,
0:04:41 > 0:04:42like, ten years of my life.
0:04:42 > 0:04:46There's no point in that. I want to be engaged to get married.
0:04:47 > 0:04:52In East Belfast, Gary is saying "I don't" to Kathryn's "I do".
0:04:52 > 0:04:55Weddings are good. All those happy people, getting married.
0:04:55 > 0:04:58All committing themselves for ever.
0:04:58 > 0:05:00- Till death do us part.- Yeah.
0:05:00 > 0:05:03What a load of auld shit.
0:05:03 > 0:05:07- Och, no! Listen, you'd love to be married.- No, I wouldn't.
0:05:07 > 0:05:11- You would be married in the morning. - No! Would you like to be married?
0:05:11 > 0:05:14- Oh, yes, absolutely.- Would you? How big would the rock need to be?
0:05:14 > 0:05:17I don't think it's anything to do with the rock. I think we're...
0:05:17 > 0:05:20- I think we're getting too late, to be quite honest with you.- Yeah.
0:05:26 > 0:05:30In Newcastle, Connor has an all-out equine theme for his intended.
0:05:30 > 0:05:34- How would you propose?- Well, I know how she would want me to propose.
0:05:34 > 0:05:37- How would she want you to propose? - Well, she's big into horses, like,
0:05:37 > 0:05:40so it would have to revolve around that somehow, in terms of
0:05:40 > 0:05:43getting a whole parade of them to spell out, "Will you marry me?"
0:05:43 > 0:05:46Sorry for the joke, man. She would say, "No-o-o-o!"
0:05:46 > 0:05:48THEY CHUCKLE
0:05:49 > 0:05:56- See, if a guy asked me to marry him in Disney, I'd cry so much.- Same.
0:05:56 > 0:05:59I'll just marry, like, a Disney prince, like one of the...
0:06:01 > 0:06:03- ..fake characters.- OK, you.
0:06:07 > 0:06:08Of course, many of our commuters
0:06:08 > 0:06:11have already done the whole proposal thing.
0:06:11 > 0:06:15Just outside Randalstown, Sid is sharing his romantic side.
0:06:16 > 0:06:20So, tell me how you proposed to your first wife, then, lad.
0:06:20 > 0:06:21Oh, the first wife?
0:06:21 > 0:06:24- It was a tree hut.- That...
0:06:24 > 0:06:26- In a treehouse.- Well...
0:06:26 > 0:06:31There was, like, wee teacups and I had a teacup and I had a ring in it.
0:06:31 > 0:06:35- I just says, "Look, blah, blah, blah," and that was it.- Lovely!
0:06:35 > 0:06:39Did your husband propose to you long before you were married?
0:06:39 > 0:06:44I was going out with my husband exactly a month when we got engaged.
0:06:44 > 0:06:46- Ooh!- My goodness, isn't that wonderful?
0:06:46 > 0:06:49How did Robert propose to you, Maureen?
0:06:49 > 0:06:52One night during a week, a Wednesday night or whatever,
0:06:52 > 0:06:59and he was moving into a new flat in Limavady and that's where
0:06:59 > 0:07:03he proposed to me, in the new flat, and, er, of course,
0:07:03 > 0:07:05I wasn't particularly...
0:07:05 > 0:07:08I pretended not to be eager so, you know, I told him I needed
0:07:08 > 0:07:10time to think and one thing and another,
0:07:10 > 0:07:14so a few days later I get back and he asked again and then I said,
0:07:14 > 0:07:17"Well, yes, yes. If you insist, yes, I will."
0:07:17 > 0:07:18What did you do?
0:07:18 > 0:07:22- It's funny.- So what did you do? - The sun was setting to the east...
0:07:23 > 0:07:28And the waves were gently rolling, lapping against the shore.
0:07:28 > 0:07:31And I got down on bended knee and...
0:07:32 > 0:07:33..the children were there, and...
0:07:33 > 0:07:36It sort of worries me that the sun's setting in the east!
0:07:36 > 0:07:39I know, I was thinking that! Surely it should have been the west!
0:07:39 > 0:07:41- Not entirely sure... - No, it was MY east.
0:07:43 > 0:07:47Well, I worked in Newry at the time and Ian was here and there.
0:07:48 > 0:07:53And he said he was coming down one evening or something and I says,
0:07:53 > 0:07:54"It's not your evening to come down."
0:07:54 > 0:07:58"No, I just want to come down." "What are you coming down for?"
0:07:58 > 0:08:01"I just want to come down." And I don't do surprises, as you know.
0:08:01 > 0:08:03Nobody can surprise me.
0:08:03 > 0:08:08I says, "Well, if you won't tell me what you're coming down for, don't bother coming down."
0:08:10 > 0:08:12He said, "I was coming down to ask you to marry me."
0:08:12 > 0:08:17"Right, OK, come on ahead down." And that was after six weeks.
0:08:17 > 0:08:18And 28 years later...
0:08:18 > 0:08:20When you know, you know!
0:08:25 > 0:08:28There was a couple that lived near my mother and they had been
0:08:28 > 0:08:30- "curting", as they call it in the country.- Curting!
0:08:30 > 0:08:32"Are you goin' curting?"
0:08:32 > 0:08:36- And, anyhow, they had been going curting for 40 years.- Oh, no way!
0:08:36 > 0:08:38And they met every night and, you know, in the country,
0:08:38 > 0:08:40they only went for a walk.
0:08:40 > 0:08:42They went all round the place and down and they walked...
0:08:42 > 0:08:45- They must've been very fit! - Yeah, but wait till you hear!
0:08:45 > 0:08:48They walked and walked for 40 years, they did this,
0:08:48 > 0:08:52and one night he said to her, "Do you know what I'm thinking, Maggie?"
0:08:52 > 0:08:53And she says, "No."
0:08:53 > 0:08:56He says, "I think we've been walking the roads long enough,"
0:08:56 > 0:08:59he says, "I think it's time we settle down together."
0:08:59 > 0:09:02And that was his proposal to her to get married!
0:09:03 > 0:09:05Some parents are like, "Come on,
0:09:05 > 0:09:09"let's go, daughter, for a holiday to Pakistan." You're like, "Oh..."
0:09:09 > 0:09:12"Make sure you leave your job
0:09:12 > 0:09:15"and make sure that you say bye-bye to all your friends."
0:09:15 > 0:09:18"That's right, and bring your British passport."
0:09:18 > 0:09:22- "Make sure you bring your prettiest clothes."- Yeah.
0:09:22 > 0:09:24- "Just in case." - "I'd like you to meet..."
0:09:24 > 0:09:26"You might find someone, or we might find someone."
0:09:26 > 0:09:29"Your cousin. He works in a restaurant!"
0:09:30 > 0:09:33MUSIC: You've Got The Love by Florence + the Machine
0:09:38 > 0:09:40First comes love, then comes marriage,
0:09:40 > 0:09:45but for Gary in Belfast, there's an uneasy sense of obligation.
0:09:45 > 0:09:48I'm a bit frightened because probably I'll have to end up marrying you.
0:09:48 > 0:09:49- Well, there's always that.- Yeah.
0:09:49 > 0:09:53I mean, if I don't get you married off soon, I'll maybe feel compelled.
0:09:53 > 0:09:56- Yes, but it would be a charitable act!- Yeah!
0:09:56 > 0:09:58I'm all about the charity.
0:09:58 > 0:10:00We could have a good day out, at least.
0:10:00 > 0:10:02And the flowers would be like no other.
0:10:02 > 0:10:05- Oh, the flowers would be like no other.- And the event styling,
0:10:05 > 0:10:07I mean, people would talk about it for years.
0:10:07 > 0:10:10- Indeed, it might be in Hello! magazine.- It would.
0:10:10 > 0:10:12Or in Belfast it might be in Bout Ye! magazine.
0:10:12 > 0:10:14THEY LAUGH
0:10:16 > 0:10:19And like, what about a wedding? Would you want a huge wedding?
0:10:19 > 0:10:21- I've two ideals.- OK.
0:10:21 > 0:10:22Kind of makes me like,
0:10:22 > 0:10:25Sometimes I'd be like, no, I don't want to be, you know,
0:10:25 > 0:10:28you're going to be the centre of attention because you're a bride.
0:10:28 > 0:10:30- Yeah.- I'd just like somewhere, a two-day thing,
0:10:30 > 0:10:33not local but just a couple of hours away
0:10:33 > 0:10:35and you go down the night before and stay, like,
0:10:35 > 0:10:39you know, some nice wee cottage or something and have it like that.
0:10:39 > 0:10:41But then other times I'm just like,
0:10:41 > 0:10:43sure, rub it in people's faces, like, why not?
0:10:43 > 0:10:46What better reason?
0:10:46 > 0:10:48Most of the ones in work are getting married.
0:10:48 > 0:10:51So they've had it planned for, like, years and years,
0:10:51 > 0:10:54whereas when Pakistanis get married,
0:10:54 > 0:11:00like, we have the space of, like, 35 days to arrange
0:11:00 > 0:11:03- from the engagement...- Yeah. - ..till the wedding.
0:11:03 > 0:11:08A lot of Pakistani people just go to find their next potential partner.
0:11:08 > 0:11:11I remember at...
0:11:11 > 0:11:16It was your wedding, one of the Asian aunties came over
0:11:16 > 0:11:22and was like, "Arousa, seriously, show me the potentials for my son."
0:11:22 > 0:11:24So I was like, "OK, follow me.
0:11:24 > 0:11:27"OK, table four, there's three people.
0:11:27 > 0:11:28"Table five, there's two."
0:11:28 > 0:11:33It's kind of like they organise and arrange it,
0:11:33 > 0:11:38you will get married to this person and that is the end of the story.
0:11:38 > 0:11:40Arranged marriages are maybe a good thing.
0:11:40 > 0:11:43A lot of people jump into marriages and relationships nowadays.
0:11:43 > 0:11:46You would know your child,
0:11:46 > 0:11:48you'd have a fair handle on who the other person was,
0:11:48 > 0:11:52as long as your intentions were honourable and you weren't thinking,
0:11:52 > 0:11:55some sort of financial reason behind it.
0:11:55 > 0:11:59People, like, they don't give any kind of gifts,
0:11:59 > 0:12:03they just give cash and then the Asians have an accountant counting,
0:12:03 > 0:12:07"This guy gave us 50 quid this year, we have to give him back 50 quid."
0:12:07 > 0:12:10- You know? What the heck is that all about?- Or if you gave someone 100
0:12:10 > 0:12:13and then their son got married and they slip 20 in the card,
0:12:13 > 0:12:14- it's like...- Oh!- Oh!
0:12:14 > 0:12:17- Wow!- Black mark.- Burn, yeah.
0:12:20 > 0:12:24Our white Caucasian non-Asian friends are like,
0:12:24 > 0:12:25when you invite them, they're like,
0:12:25 > 0:12:28"Oh, I cannot wait to go for the cultural experience.
0:12:28 > 0:12:29"It's going to be wonderful."
0:12:29 > 0:12:33And when they arrive there and find out there's a closed bar...
0:12:33 > 0:12:34There's no alcohol!
0:12:34 > 0:12:37"Sorry, did I not tell you that no alcohol is being served?
0:12:37 > 0:12:40- "I'm so sorry."- "We have Shloer."
0:12:40 > 0:12:42You know what, everybody goes to the wedding,
0:12:42 > 0:12:44all everybody wants is a drink.
0:12:49 > 0:12:52On a country road around Newtownards, Nathan and Robert
0:12:52 > 0:12:55aren't worried about who or indeed when they get married
0:12:55 > 0:12:59- but rather where.- Would you not just go away to get married
0:12:59 > 0:13:01or what would you do? Would you stay at home or what would you do?
0:13:01 > 0:13:04Don't know, like. I don't think I would personally go away
0:13:04 > 0:13:06- to get married. - I don't think I would either.
0:13:06 > 0:13:09You'd want, like, everybody to experience the day
0:13:09 > 0:13:11- and have a bit of craic.- Sure, the boys need a bit of craic.
0:13:11 > 0:13:15- The boys need a day out. - Need a good stag do too.
0:13:15 > 0:13:18If you feel like going away to get married, I'm available!
0:13:20 > 0:13:21Is that a hint?
0:13:21 > 0:13:24You can get married in Disney.
0:13:24 > 0:13:26- What?- Can you actually imagine that?
0:13:26 > 0:13:29- I'm getting married in Disney.- Same.
0:13:29 > 0:13:31- I'm getting married in Disney. - Like, you can go up
0:13:31 > 0:13:35- to the castle in Florida. - You know that's actually my dream?
0:13:35 > 0:13:39You turn up in Cinderella's carriage and the horses, like,
0:13:39 > 0:13:41with the white horses and all.
0:13:41 > 0:13:43- Does it actually say that?- Yeah.
0:13:43 > 0:13:46- It's like, really expensive, obviously, but...- I don't care.
0:13:46 > 0:13:50- Like, you only get married once. Well...- Hopefully.
0:13:50 > 0:13:53- That's not always true.- Yeah.
0:13:53 > 0:13:55- You know I've been married three times.- Yes.
0:13:55 > 0:13:57So we'll just sort of brush over that, but the first time...
0:13:57 > 0:13:58SHE LAUGHS
0:13:58 > 0:14:01The first time I got married, right, I was pregnant.
0:14:01 > 0:14:04My dad said, "No, you don't need to get married."
0:14:04 > 0:14:07But his brother said, "No, you do need to get married."
0:14:07 > 0:14:09The upshot of it was we got married.
0:14:09 > 0:14:10There was five of us at the wedding
0:14:10 > 0:14:13and we went back to my Nanny Edwards's
0:14:13 > 0:14:15and we had fish paste sandwiches
0:14:15 > 0:14:19- and we had a little bit of a Victoria sponge.- Isn't that lovely?
0:14:19 > 0:14:22And number two was...
0:14:22 > 0:14:25Do you know what, I don't even think he proposed, number two,
0:14:25 > 0:14:28but anyway, we got married, and that was nice. And my third marriage...
0:14:28 > 0:14:31- Right, right. - My third marriage was...
0:14:31 > 0:14:34I shouldn't have got married, really. He was a lot, lot younger.
0:14:34 > 0:14:36About a week before we got married,
0:14:36 > 0:14:38we had this conversation to say, really, you know,
0:14:38 > 0:14:41"We shouldn't be getting married, this is all a big mistake."
0:14:41 > 0:14:45But so many people had put so much effort into it...
0:14:45 > 0:14:48- You had to go ahead.- We didn't feel that we could not do it.
0:14:48 > 0:14:51- Let them down, yeah. - So it lasted three years.
0:14:53 > 0:14:55Ah, who says romance is dead?
0:14:55 > 0:14:57Well, Aislinn over in Limavady does.
0:14:57 > 0:15:02After 20 years, generally you have your kids up by then.
0:15:02 > 0:15:04- Yeah.- 20, 21 years.
0:15:04 > 0:15:07There should be, once you hit that 21 mark, you say, "Right",
0:15:07 > 0:15:09and you can go.
0:15:09 > 0:15:12You don't have to say, "I'm leaving" or anything else,
0:15:12 > 0:15:17you can just leave. And that should be in your wedding vows.
0:15:17 > 0:15:21For better or for worse, till 20 years or death do us part.
0:15:30 > 0:15:33It's been a rocky road for celebrities in 2016
0:15:33 > 0:15:35with the loss of so many legends.
0:15:35 > 0:15:39In Belfast city centre, Bellal and Arousa are lamenting.
0:15:39 > 0:15:44This year, 2016, took Prince.
0:15:44 > 0:15:47- What is my Facebook feed... - It kept Kim Kardashian.
0:15:47 > 0:15:49HE LAUGHS
0:15:49 > 0:15:53- Did you see the thing about Kanye West?- No.- Devastating news.
0:15:53 > 0:15:54He's still alive.
0:15:54 > 0:15:56- Did you not see that?- No.
0:15:56 > 0:16:00But then people find out more whenever they die.
0:16:00 > 0:16:03- Me, myself included.- That's right, you found out more about them.
0:16:03 > 0:16:07- David Bowie. Remember?- David Bowie's music, yeah.- And then after it,
0:16:07 > 0:16:10- you're like, you know... - I knew him from the Labyrinth.
0:16:10 > 0:16:12I remember him from the Labyrinth.
0:16:12 > 0:16:15But he kind of freaked me out.
0:16:15 > 0:16:18And then Muhammad Ali, you know, like, fair enough,
0:16:18 > 0:16:21you remember him with his Parkinson's or whatever, but then
0:16:21 > 0:16:25when you see the footage of him when he was younger, he was gorgeous.
0:16:25 > 0:16:27- Yes.- And you're like, "Oh..."
0:16:27 > 0:16:31- He had everything, didn't he? - He did.- He had beauty, brains.
0:16:31 > 0:16:32He was lovely.
0:16:32 > 0:16:36Ali was some boxer in his day, though, all the same.
0:16:36 > 0:16:38Aye, Ali was very good, now.
0:16:38 > 0:16:40A bit cocky, like, but...
0:16:40 > 0:16:43I think he was cocky, you know, but I think he also, you know,
0:16:43 > 0:16:45he seemed to have a good way with people too.
0:16:45 > 0:16:47What was it he said?
0:16:47 > 0:16:49Fly like a butterfly, sting like a bee.
0:16:49 > 0:16:52Aye, fly like a butterfly, sting like a bee.
0:16:52 > 0:16:54Or float, maybe, lads?
0:16:56 > 0:16:58On the back road from Lisburn to Belfast,
0:16:58 > 0:17:01Gerry is killing off people that aren't even dead yet.
0:17:01 > 0:17:03I was trying to figure out
0:17:03 > 0:17:06which one sort of affected me the most, not that really
0:17:06 > 0:17:08any of them should affect me, but...
0:17:08 > 0:17:11Was it not Cilla that affected you the most?
0:17:11 > 0:17:13Maybe.
0:17:13 > 0:17:15I was more sorry about, um...
0:17:15 > 0:17:17- Paul Daniels?- Paul Daniels? God, I can't stand Paul Daniels.
0:17:17 > 0:17:20- No, I think it was...- Prince?
0:17:20 > 0:17:21Was it your man Robinson?
0:17:21 > 0:17:26You know, that used to be the leader here, the Assembly leader?
0:17:26 > 0:17:28- Peter Robinson, is he dead? - He's not dead.
0:17:28 > 0:17:30Did he not have a heart attack and die?
0:17:30 > 0:17:32He had a heart attack but he didn't die.
0:17:32 > 0:17:35- Was he the Sinn Fein leader, Peter Robinson?- Ach!
0:17:35 > 0:17:36I thought he was dead.
0:17:36 > 0:17:40MUSIC: Do You Realize?? by The Flaming Lips
0:17:40 > 0:17:42All this talk of celebrity deaths
0:17:42 > 0:17:46has got our commuters thinking about their own mortality.
0:17:47 > 0:17:51# ..that everyone you know
0:17:51 > 0:17:54# Someday will die? #
0:17:55 > 0:17:59And in Newry, a subject that challenged some of humanity's finest.
0:17:59 > 0:18:02I would like to believe that once you die you go up
0:18:02 > 0:18:04and you meet your family who've died and all.
0:18:04 > 0:18:07So what do you do - go, sit, have a cup of coffee with them?
0:18:07 > 0:18:09I don't think they do Nescafe in heaven.
0:18:12 > 0:18:15Well, I always thought that when I died I would go to heaven...
0:18:15 > 0:18:19- Mm-hmm.- ..and I believed that you would join your husband.
0:18:19 > 0:18:24- Yeah.- Well, I've divorced three, so which one would I meet?
0:18:24 > 0:18:26And to be honest,
0:18:26 > 0:18:29I really wouldn't want to particularly meet any of them
0:18:29 > 0:18:32because that's why I divorced them, so in a really serious...
0:18:32 > 0:18:35Especially if they owed you a lot of money.
0:18:35 > 0:18:36THEY LAUGH
0:18:37 > 0:18:41I'll tell you a story, sure, about my mother's belief. My granny...
0:18:41 > 0:18:45- Right.- As soon as she died, a big smile came upon her face.
0:18:45 > 0:18:47Your ma's face or her face?
0:18:47 > 0:18:50- She believed that was her going to another place.- Well, that's...
0:18:50 > 0:18:53I said, "Mummy, how would you know she was going to a good place?
0:18:53 > 0:18:55She says, "Well, Granny was like myself,
0:18:55 > 0:18:59- "she wasn't that well behaved all the time and all, but..."- Oh, right.
0:18:59 > 0:19:02- She reckons... - She believes that...- Yeah.
0:19:02 > 0:19:04See while we're on the subject,
0:19:04 > 0:19:09what do youse think happens youse after you die? Truth.
0:19:09 > 0:19:11If you were a Christian man,
0:19:11 > 0:19:13you'd probably be thinking of going to heaven.
0:19:13 > 0:19:16- Well, you probably ARE going to heaven.- No, I asked you what do you think.
0:19:16 > 0:19:18- Oh, what do I think, where I'm going?- Uh-huh.
0:19:18 > 0:19:19Into the ground.
0:19:19 > 0:19:23- You know what I think happens when you die?- What?
0:19:23 > 0:19:24You know when you're sleeping,
0:19:24 > 0:19:27- and you don't realise you're asleep?- Yeah.
0:19:27 > 0:19:28I think it's just like that.
0:19:29 > 0:19:31Yeah.
0:19:31 > 0:19:34Well, as a Christian, I'm not afraid of death.
0:19:34 > 0:19:39I think it's a normal transition that comes automatically anyway.
0:19:39 > 0:19:42You accept whatever state you're in
0:19:42 > 0:19:45and certainly I have my will made
0:19:45 > 0:19:50and left lots of instructions, as usual, for my family.
0:19:50 > 0:19:54I've told them not to be sad but to...
0:19:54 > 0:19:56be thankful for the life that I had.
0:19:56 > 0:19:58MUSIC: Black Eyed Dog by Nick Drake
0:19:58 > 0:20:01# I'm growing old and I want to go home
0:20:01 > 0:20:05# I'm growing old and I don't want to know... #
0:20:08 > 0:20:11I would want a bit of a themed funeral.
0:20:11 > 0:20:14A favourite theme of mine would be Ghostbusters.
0:20:14 > 0:20:16Can you imagine then I could come back and scare them all?
0:20:16 > 0:20:19- Aye, you just sit up going, "Who you gonna call?"- Yeah.
0:20:19 > 0:20:22For my funeral...
0:20:22 > 0:20:24You can get ecological banana-leaf coffins.
0:20:24 > 0:20:28I love bananas too. Wonder if you can get any of them in Tesco's,
0:20:28 > 0:20:31- out of the box.- Aye, right enough.
0:20:31 > 0:20:33So I'm going to get that,
0:20:33 > 0:20:36and you can only get cremated in Roselawn in Northern Ireland.
0:20:36 > 0:20:39I know, but they keep saying they're going to bring one to Derry.
0:20:39 > 0:20:41Like, that's a good business venture.
0:20:41 > 0:20:43If I had the money, I would start a crematorium in Derry.
0:20:43 > 0:20:45- Everybody's dying to get in. - They are!
0:20:45 > 0:20:48And see in the paper, they're dying in alphabetical order!
0:20:50 > 0:20:53Over to Joe and Connor in Newcastle for some classic...
0:20:53 > 0:20:54Joe and Connor in Newcastle.
0:20:54 > 0:20:58It should be an automatic opt-in. If you don't want to do it, opt out.
0:20:58 > 0:20:59Opt in...
0:20:59 > 0:21:03- Like, the donor...- Oh, right, yeah.
0:21:03 > 0:21:07- But is it not already an automatic opt-in?- No, you have to...
0:21:07 > 0:21:09You have to opt in if you want to do it.
0:21:09 > 0:21:12But was it not changed there that you automatically opt in,
0:21:12 > 0:21:15- then you opt out?- No, no. - I thought that's what it was.
0:21:15 > 0:21:19- I think it's still being talked about.- I thought that happened. No?
0:21:21 > 0:21:23Pop me in the box, put down the lid,
0:21:23 > 0:21:27- couple of good strong nails and that's it, job done.- Uh-huh.
0:21:27 > 0:21:29And then take you up to Roselawn...
0:21:29 > 0:21:30Well, yeah, we'll have to pay for that bit.
0:21:30 > 0:21:32And then where would you like the ashes?
0:21:32 > 0:21:35The ashes, I think, just probably down at Helen's Bay beach.
0:21:35 > 0:21:38Oh, right, and then you'll forever be there.
0:21:38 > 0:21:41- Just drift into the water. - Yeah.- Just drift in.
0:21:41 > 0:21:43Take a hell of a big tide!
0:21:43 > 0:21:46SHE LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY
0:21:46 > 0:21:50I want to be all coiffured and lying there in state, actually.
0:21:50 > 0:21:52Would you like your teeth shown or not?
0:21:52 > 0:21:56Would you like them to close your mouth or would you like to take the big teeth?
0:21:56 > 0:21:57You'd be lying like this.
0:21:59 > 0:22:02Your big white teeth.
0:22:02 > 0:22:05THEY LAUGH
0:22:05 > 0:22:07like Mr Ed!
0:22:07 > 0:22:10MUSIC: Tilted by Christine and the Queens
0:22:10 > 0:22:13# I'm actually good can't help it if we're tilted... #
0:22:13 > 0:22:16When the two heels are kicked up, I have told her,
0:22:16 > 0:22:20"You're to put me in a Batman suit, I'm to sit up at an angle."
0:22:20 > 0:22:21Why a Batman suit?
0:22:23 > 0:22:25Just in case I have to fly somewhere.
0:22:25 > 0:22:27- Why not a Batman suit? - And I've told her to make sure
0:22:27 > 0:22:29I'm buried with my watch, so I can tell the time.
0:22:31 > 0:22:36Well, I mean, you have to die sometime, and when you get older
0:22:36 > 0:22:39you sort of accept dying, and why are we talking about death
0:22:39 > 0:22:41at this hour of the morning, going to work?
0:22:41 > 0:22:45Because we feel like death after that weekend we've had.
0:22:45 > 0:22:48Remember when I was talking this morning about Danny's funeral
0:22:48 > 0:22:51and one of the children had brought up this massive, massive,
0:22:51 > 0:22:54massive photograph of Elvis because Danny was a big fan of Elvis
0:22:54 > 0:22:56so it was sort of sitting on the altar,
0:22:56 > 0:23:02and I had all these friends that came from Lifeline to the funeral,
0:23:02 > 0:23:04and one of them later on said to me,
0:23:04 > 0:23:07"Gerard, my God," he says,
0:23:07 > 0:23:11"I could not believe how like your brother was to Elvis."
0:23:11 > 0:23:14He says, "He was the spitting image of Elvis."
0:23:14 > 0:23:16To this day I've never been able to say to him,
0:23:16 > 0:23:19"That WAS a picture of Elvis. That wasn't him."
0:23:23 > 0:23:26OK, everyone, hands up if your mum or granny does this.
0:23:26 > 0:23:30- You love the death column. - No, I do not love the death column.
0:23:30 > 0:23:32You love the death column.
0:23:32 > 0:23:35I've got to say, my mother reads the death column every morning.
0:23:35 > 0:23:39And then she will say, "Do you remember such-and-such?" No.
0:23:39 > 0:23:43"She went to your nanny's church." No. "Lived off Connsbrook Avenue.
0:23:43 > 0:23:45"Married to your cousin's brother's uncle's father..."
0:23:45 > 0:23:47No. No, I don't... "Dead."
0:23:47 > 0:23:49Your mother's very funny.
0:23:49 > 0:23:51- She's very funny. - I get that story too.- Yes.
0:23:51 > 0:23:53- "Dead."- With me it's a wee bit longer, though.
0:23:53 > 0:23:56"Remember him that was married onto her that used to live round there
0:23:56 > 0:23:59"that used to work in the chippy with the red door
0:23:59 > 0:24:02- "and then they used to go there..." - No. No!- "And then...
0:24:02 > 0:24:06"He was married onto her but then they had a blue door?
0:24:06 > 0:24:07"Mary."
0:24:07 > 0:24:11- No.- "Ach, you know Mary."- No idea who you're talking about.- "Dead!"
0:24:11 > 0:24:14No, no idea who you're talking about... "Dead."
0:24:14 > 0:24:17All they ever talk about in Portadown is death.
0:24:17 > 0:24:21Every time I go down, either my mother has a list of who's dead...
0:24:21 > 0:24:26Do you member the time we were up in the graveyard with her the last time, and she broke wind?
0:24:26 > 0:24:30Well, she started at the grave, at my daddy's grave, breaking,
0:24:30 > 0:24:32and I thought, "Oh, God, I'm going to die,
0:24:32 > 0:24:34"I'm not even going to let on I hear this."
0:24:34 > 0:24:36And then, could she stop?
0:24:36 > 0:24:40And then I just said to her, "Mummy, are you breaking wind?"
0:24:40 > 0:24:43But when I said that to her, she just went to hysterics laughing
0:24:43 > 0:24:45and broke more, and broke and broke.
0:24:45 > 0:24:48Then she took, she run from that part of the graveyard
0:24:48 > 0:24:51right to the other side of the graveyard, the whole way
0:24:51 > 0:24:54I could see her running up right across the graveyard
0:24:54 > 0:24:57and you could hear the wind coming out of her arse the whole way up
0:24:57 > 0:25:00to the other side of the graveyard. It was disgusting!
0:25:00 > 0:25:02- Like a machinegun! - And all the size of her.
0:25:02 > 0:25:04Then she's standing at the far side of the graveyard,
0:25:04 > 0:25:08waving over at us as if to say, "I'm not coming back, I'm embarrassed."
0:25:08 > 0:25:10It was like a machinegun.
0:25:10 > 0:25:13And if it had been in 1970-something I'd have ducked.
0:25:15 > 0:25:17That's enough talk about death.
0:25:17 > 0:25:20Let's leave this commute, and indeed the series, on a high.
0:25:20 > 0:25:23With our own version of a Queen classic, take it away,
0:25:23 > 0:25:26the Commute class of 2016.
0:25:26 > 0:25:29MUSIC: Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen
0:25:29 > 0:25:31# I see a little silhouetto of a man
0:25:31 > 0:25:35# Scaramouche, Scaramouche can you do the Fandango?
0:25:35 > 0:25:39# Thunderbolts and lightning very, very frightening me
0:25:39 > 0:25:40- # Galileo - Galileo
0:25:40 > 0:25:42- # Galileo - Galileo
0:25:42 > 0:25:44# Galileo, let me go
0:25:44 > 0:25:46- # Oh-oh - O-oh
0:25:46 > 0:25:47# I'm just a poor boy
0:25:47 > 0:25:49# Nobody loves me
0:25:49 > 0:25:52# I'm just a poor boy from a poor family
0:25:52 > 0:25:55QUEEN: # Spare him his life from this monstrosity
0:25:56 > 0:25:59# Easy come, easy go will you let me go?
0:25:59 > 0:26:01# Bismillah!
0:26:01 > 0:26:02- # No! - We will not let you go!
0:26:02 > 0:26:03# Let him go!
0:26:03 > 0:26:06- # Bismillah! - We will not let you go! #
0:26:06 > 0:26:07Let him go, for God's sake!
0:26:07 > 0:26:09- # We will not let you go - Let him go!
0:26:09 > 0:26:10# Will not let you go
0:26:10 > 0:26:12- # Let him go! - Will not let you go
0:26:12 > 0:26:13# No-o
0:26:13 > 0:26:14# Oh
0:26:14 > 0:26:17# No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
0:26:17 > 0:26:19- # Mama mia - Mama mia
0:26:19 > 0:26:20# Mama mia, let me go
0:26:20 > 0:26:25# Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me
0:26:25 > 0:26:27- # For me! - For me!
0:26:27 > 0:26:29# For me! #
0:26:30 > 0:26:32Whoo!
0:26:37 > 0:26:38I've come over all dizzy.
0:26:38 > 0:26:41# So you think you can stone me and spit
0:26:41 > 0:26:42# In my eye?
0:26:44 > 0:26:46# So you think you can love me
0:26:46 > 0:26:49# And leave me to die?
0:26:49 > 0:26:52# Oh, baby
0:26:52 > 0:26:55# Can't do this to me, baby
0:26:55 > 0:27:01# Just gotta get out just gotta get right out of here
0:27:23 > 0:27:26# Wa-wow, wa-wow
0:27:32 > 0:27:35# Doo doo-doo
0:27:35 > 0:27:38# Nothing really matters
0:27:38 > 0:27:42# Anyone can see
0:27:42 > 0:27:44# Nothing really matters
0:27:46 > 0:27:49# Nothing really matters
0:27:49 > 0:27:53# To me. #
0:27:55 > 0:27:56Ssh.
0:27:56 > 0:27:58Ssh! Ssh!
0:28:07 > 0:28:11# Any way the wind blows. #
0:28:11 > 0:28:13Whoosh!
0:28:13 > 0:28:16- That was a bit of a crap ending, wasn't it?- Mm-hmm.
0:28:16 > 0:28:19# Sing with me, sing for the year
0:28:19 > 0:28:22# Sing for the laughter sing for the tear
0:28:22 > 0:28:25# Sing with me, just for today
0:28:25 > 0:28:28# Maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away
0:28:28 > 0:28:29# Dream on
0:28:29 > 0:28:32# Dream on, dream on
0:28:32 > 0:28:34# Dream on
0:28:34 > 0:28:37# Dream on, dream on
0:28:37 > 0:28:42# Dream on, oh... #