What Makes Me Tic

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0:00:02 > 0:00:03You ready?

0:00:21 > 0:00:23We sniff, jerk, blink and swear.

0:00:23 > 0:00:25BLEEP. BLEEP.

0:00:25 > 0:00:27But we just can't help it.

0:00:27 > 0:00:28It's me, hi.

0:00:28 > 0:00:30I'm Grace, I'm 14.

0:00:30 > 0:00:32I've got Tourette's.

0:00:32 > 0:00:33I've got a big show coming up.

0:00:33 > 0:00:36I'm hoping my Tourette's won't get in the way.

0:00:36 > 0:00:37Nice deep breath.

0:00:37 > 0:00:39Nice and slow.

0:00:39 > 0:00:42Hello! I'm Rupert, and I'm 12.

0:00:42 > 0:00:44I've got Tourette's Syndrome, too.

0:00:44 > 0:00:46HE GRUNTS

0:00:46 > 0:00:50I'm about to start the therapy that I hope will change my life.

0:00:50 > 0:00:52Don't roll those eyes at all.

0:00:54 > 0:00:55Hello.

0:00:55 > 0:00:56I'm Connor.

0:00:56 > 0:00:59My Tourette's makes me scream and swear.

0:00:59 > 0:01:01BLEEP, BLEEP.

0:01:01 > 0:01:02So I usually just stay at home.

0:01:02 > 0:01:05But I know I need to force myself to get out more.

0:01:05 > 0:01:07- I have to get through it.- BLEEP.

0:01:11 > 0:01:13Just stop my fears and just do it.

0:01:13 > 0:01:16I want everyone to understand what life is like

0:01:16 > 0:01:17with Tourette's Syndrome...

0:01:17 > 0:01:20- ALL:- And what makes me tic.

0:01:22 > 0:01:25HE GRUNTS

0:01:25 > 0:01:30One morning, about six months ago, I woke up gasping.

0:01:30 > 0:01:32I had no idea what was going on.

0:01:32 > 0:01:34The doctor said I had Tourette's Syndrome

0:01:34 > 0:01:36and that the gasp was a tic.

0:01:36 > 0:01:39HE GRUNTS

0:01:39 > 0:01:40It's like a cycle.

0:01:40 > 0:01:42It's, like, feel the urge,

0:01:42 > 0:01:47make the tic to send the urge away.

0:01:47 > 0:01:50A few minutes or however long it takes,

0:01:50 > 0:01:53the urge comes back, starts again.

0:01:53 > 0:01:58A tic is basically when a bit of your body, like, does something,

0:01:58 > 0:01:59like, you can't help it.

0:01:59 > 0:02:04A tic feels like something that you have to do,

0:02:04 > 0:02:06like when you have to blink.

0:02:06 > 0:02:08Like, you know when you have

0:02:08 > 0:02:10that urge to scratch or that urge to sneeze?

0:02:10 > 0:02:12It's like that.

0:02:14 > 0:02:18Having Tourette's Syndrome means you do lots of tics.

0:02:18 > 0:02:20And it can be annoying.

0:02:20 > 0:02:23My mum and dad have heard about a treatment where some people

0:02:23 > 0:02:26can learn to control tics some of the time.

0:02:26 > 0:02:29So I'm going to London to find out about it.

0:02:30 > 0:02:35My Tourette's is bad and I need some help to suppress the tics

0:02:35 > 0:02:38so that I don't do them as much.

0:02:38 > 0:02:42I'm feeling a bit anxious, because...

0:02:44 > 0:02:46Well, I don't really know what's going to happen.

0:02:46 > 0:02:49But then, I'm excited as well.

0:02:49 > 0:02:52Have you had an outbreak of tics in the last week?

0:02:52 > 0:02:55That's a tic, so something you can't control.

0:02:55 > 0:02:58- No.- Eye tics, anything?- Yeah.- Yeah.

0:02:58 > 0:03:00- Roaming of the eyes?- Yeah.- Yeah.

0:03:00 > 0:03:04- What about roaming of the nostrils? Flaring of the nostrils.- Like this?

0:03:04 > 0:03:06- Yeah.- No.- No? Not that one.

0:03:06 > 0:03:08- Sniffing?- Yeah.

0:03:08 > 0:03:09HE SNIFFS

0:03:09 > 0:03:11This is Dr Tara Murphy.

0:03:11 > 0:03:14She's a specialist in Tourette's

0:03:14 > 0:03:17and I'm hoping she might have some answers.

0:03:17 > 0:03:19What I want you to know is I've heard about those compulsive tics,

0:03:19 > 0:03:22- you can definitely treat them. - Oh, brilliant.- Sure.

0:03:22 > 0:03:24ERP,

0:03:24 > 0:03:28exposure response prevention, is exactly the way to treat

0:03:28 > 0:03:29- these compulsive tics.- Oh, OK.

0:03:29 > 0:03:32So it's about feeling an urge, and what you'd really like to do

0:03:32 > 0:03:34is learn to resist it.

0:03:34 > 0:03:35To do ERP,

0:03:35 > 0:03:40I will sit quietly for half an hour a day and try not to do my tics.

0:03:40 > 0:03:44It sounds tough, but if I practise enough, hopefully,

0:03:44 > 0:03:47I will learn to control the constant urge to tic.

0:03:47 > 0:03:49Keep working on it, then the feeling

0:03:49 > 0:03:51- of wanting to do it will go away. - Yeah?

0:03:51 > 0:03:55'Dr Murphy tells me about group therapy for children

0:03:55 > 0:03:56'with Tourette's.'

0:03:56 > 0:03:59You'd like to come to the group treatment?

0:03:59 > 0:04:02It would be mainly boys, but there will be a girl or two there,

0:04:02 > 0:04:06- as you know Tourette's Syndrome affects mostly boys.- Yes.

0:04:06 > 0:04:09That's eight sessions where we learn about tics.

0:04:09 > 0:04:10Do you like that idea?

0:04:10 > 0:04:13I think I might like to try it.

0:04:13 > 0:04:16I still haven't met anyone else who has Tourette's.

0:04:16 > 0:04:18I'd like to see how other people

0:04:18 > 0:04:20with Tourette's deal with Tourette's.

0:04:21 > 0:04:23I think it went pretty well.

0:04:23 > 0:04:27She knows what she's talking about and she can tell me things that I

0:04:27 > 0:04:29didn't know about Tourette's before.

0:04:33 > 0:04:36Everybody has something that makes them who they are,

0:04:36 > 0:04:38and Tourette's makes me who I am.

0:04:40 > 0:04:43I can happily say, I've got Tourette's Syndrome.

0:04:46 > 0:04:48I'm Grace, I'm 14.

0:04:48 > 0:04:52My main tics are rolling my head, sniffing and wrinkling my nose.

0:04:52 > 0:04:55I can feel when a tic is coming on

0:04:55 > 0:04:58and I've learnt many ways to deal with them, but it's hard work.

0:04:58 > 0:05:03I can suppress one major tic for lots of smaller tics.

0:05:03 > 0:05:04So, if I need to swing my arm,

0:05:04 > 0:05:08I can just tense my muscles and that will get it out of the way.

0:05:08 > 0:05:14I show what I want to show, because I feel that if I showed me ticcing,

0:05:14 > 0:05:18punching myself, swinging my arm, I would get judged,

0:05:18 > 0:05:22because I'm doing these strange movements.

0:05:23 > 0:05:25I do hide them, maybe more than I should,

0:05:25 > 0:05:30because I am a very self-conscious in a lot of ways.

0:05:30 > 0:05:33My passion is musicals and drama, and on Saturdays,

0:05:33 > 0:05:36I rehearse with my drama group and my dad normally takes me.

0:05:37 > 0:05:40So, are you ready for rehearsals today?

0:05:40 > 0:05:42- Yeah.- How many more have you got before your show?

0:05:44 > 0:05:46I think we've got maybe two or three more.

0:05:46 > 0:05:50Do you find that being on the stage, you're not ticcing as much?

0:05:50 > 0:05:54Before I go on stage, I'm ticcing like crazy, because I'm nervous,

0:05:54 > 0:05:57and when I'm nervous, I get really, really ticcy.

0:05:57 > 0:06:00Will it be worse when you know that your parents are sitting

0:06:00 > 0:06:01- in the front row of the show?- Yeah!

0:06:01 > 0:06:05- Are you front row? - Oh, I intend to be.- Aw.

0:06:08 > 0:06:11For the opening pieces, I'm quite a main part in the dance,

0:06:11 > 0:06:12and that is so exciting,

0:06:12 > 0:06:15because they don't normally choose me for big things.

0:06:15 > 0:06:17OK, well done, guys. Excellent.

0:06:17 > 0:06:21Them knowing that I am capable of doing this, it meant a lot.

0:06:21 > 0:06:23I'm playing the piano in the showcase.

0:06:23 > 0:06:27# Flame on, burn, desire

0:06:27 > 0:06:30# Love with tongues of fire

0:06:30 > 0:06:33# Purge the soul

0:06:33 > 0:06:36# Make love your goal. #

0:06:36 > 0:06:40Beforehand, I'm ticcing like crazy, because I'm nervous.

0:06:40 > 0:06:43And when I get nervous, my hands go stone-cold.

0:06:43 > 0:06:46And playing the piano with cold hands isn't easy.

0:06:47 > 0:06:50I just hope, when the big night comes,

0:06:50 > 0:06:53the nerves and the tics won't get the better of me.

0:06:53 > 0:06:56APPLAUSE

0:06:58 > 0:06:59Hello!

0:07:02 > 0:07:06Dr Murphy has told my mum and me how to practise ERP,

0:07:06 > 0:07:09so we've been doing it every day, and it's really hard.

0:07:09 > 0:07:13So no eye rolls in ten minutes, OK?

0:07:13 > 0:07:15- OK.- Go!

0:07:15 > 0:07:19My mum sets a timer on her phone and I try not to do a tic

0:07:19 > 0:07:21for as long as I can.

0:07:21 > 0:07:23Are you having any urges at the moment?

0:07:23 > 0:07:25- No.- You're not?

0:07:25 > 0:07:27Any urges in your eyes?

0:07:27 > 0:07:31No. My mum or my dad might try and talk about the urge,

0:07:31 > 0:07:32cos that usually makes it worse.

0:07:32 > 0:07:36I've got a bit of an urge in my eye, just popped up.

0:07:36 > 0:07:39Right, don't roll those eyes at all.

0:07:39 > 0:07:41So you're going to push it down, the urge?

0:07:41 > 0:07:44- OK.- Are you pushing?- Mm-hm.

0:07:46 > 0:07:48And pushing... Where's the urge now?

0:07:48 > 0:07:49Strong or weak?

0:07:49 > 0:07:51- Strong.- Is it?

0:07:51 > 0:07:54- Yes, but I'm going to try... - Just push.

0:07:55 > 0:07:59And when he pushes the urge down, his eyes close a bit.

0:08:00 > 0:08:01Has it gone yet?

0:08:01 > 0:08:04- No.- It is strong?

0:08:04 > 0:08:05Yes.

0:08:05 > 0:08:07Good boy, keep pushing down.

0:08:12 > 0:08:13And this is a strong one, isn't it?

0:08:14 > 0:08:15I can see.

0:08:17 > 0:08:20- Has it gone yet?- No.

0:08:23 > 0:08:25OK. Push, push, push.

0:08:29 > 0:08:31You're doing really well, Rupert.

0:08:34 > 0:08:35Don't roll those eyes.

0:08:35 > 0:08:37Mm-hmm.

0:08:37 > 0:08:39- Did it.- Did it?

0:08:39 > 0:08:40Has it gone? Good boy.

0:08:43 > 0:08:46My life with Tourette's is...

0:08:47 > 0:08:49Glorious!

0:08:49 > 0:08:51- BLEEP.- Sorry,- BLEEP.

0:08:51 > 0:08:54Sometimes, it's absolutely hilarious.

0:08:54 > 0:08:56BLEEP, BLEEP, BLEEP.

0:08:56 > 0:08:59I have a lot of swearing tics and, like, screaming, like...

0:08:59 > 0:09:01- HE SCREAMS - I hit myself.

0:09:01 > 0:09:02I'm making noises.

0:09:02 > 0:09:05But other than that, that's it.

0:09:05 > 0:09:07And nodding. That.

0:09:07 > 0:09:09Yes! Through the post has come my new tracksuit.

0:09:09 > 0:09:12My name's Connor and I'm 13.

0:09:12 > 0:09:14Most people who have Tourette's Syndrome

0:09:14 > 0:09:15have other conditions too.

0:09:15 > 0:09:17I have anxiety.

0:09:17 > 0:09:19Does it smell good then, yeah?

0:09:19 > 0:09:21It's called separation anxiety, where, like,

0:09:21 > 0:09:24you can't really go away from your parents, you just think that

0:09:24 > 0:09:26they're never going to come back or they going to die

0:09:26 > 0:09:30or going to leave you. That's why I can't really go out.

0:09:30 > 0:09:32HE SCREAMS

0:09:32 > 0:09:34BLEEP, BLEEP, BLEEP,

0:09:34 > 0:09:37BLEEP, BLEEP, BLEEP.

0:09:41 > 0:09:42(Sorry.)

0:09:43 > 0:09:46It's a combination of my Tourette's and my anxiety which stops me

0:09:46 > 0:09:49from doing any after-school clubs,

0:09:49 > 0:09:51unlike my brother, Ryan.

0:09:51 > 0:09:54Do you ever think about joining clubs?

0:09:54 > 0:09:56Quite a lot. But it's just hard.

0:09:56 > 0:09:59You know, with anxieties and stuff, it's just a bit...

0:10:00 > 0:10:02Annoying. It kind of takes over your life.

0:10:02 > 0:10:06- Do you ever sort of feel left out? - Just a little bit, yeah.

0:10:06 > 0:10:09I need a card, but it doesn't want to show up.

0:10:09 > 0:10:14Do you think it'd be easier if you join a club with me in it?

0:10:14 > 0:10:17Your big brother coming in a club with you would just be like, nah.

0:10:17 > 0:10:20How do you feel, living with someone with Tourette's?

0:10:20 > 0:10:26Well, it can be quite worrying, but also funny.

0:10:26 > 0:10:29It's really hard to, like,

0:10:29 > 0:10:34have one sort of emotion and feeling about it.

0:10:35 > 0:10:38- You've won, haven't you?- Rummy!

0:10:38 > 0:10:40How did you get rummy?

0:10:40 > 0:10:42Victory dance.

0:10:42 > 0:10:45I would love to go out sometimes,

0:10:45 > 0:10:47but I've got to just work towards it,

0:10:47 > 0:10:50so you've just got to take baby steps and then progress

0:10:50 > 0:10:52to bigger steps, and then finally you're there.

0:10:55 > 0:10:57You definitely can't see me?

0:10:57 > 0:10:58Yeah, that big blue thing right there.

0:10:58 > 0:11:01I love playing video games with my friend Will.

0:11:01 > 0:11:03WILL YELLS

0:11:03 > 0:11:04Ready, three, two, one...

0:11:04 > 0:11:07Blast off!

0:11:07 > 0:11:11But I haven't seen him since I started doing my ERP therapy.

0:11:11 > 0:11:13What was your first Tourette's symptom? Was it...

0:11:13 > 0:11:15- HE GRUNTS - ..that one?

0:11:15 > 0:11:16Yeah, that's it.

0:11:16 > 0:11:19- Yeah.- Wait. Do you want to be an angel, do you want a jet pack,

0:11:19 > 0:11:21- or whatever? - I'm guessing you're getting very,

0:11:21 > 0:11:23very good at controlling your Tourette's?

0:11:23 > 0:11:25I hope so.

0:11:25 > 0:11:27Do you think you will ever get rid of Tourette's or will you

0:11:27 > 0:11:29- have it forever?- No.

0:11:29 > 0:11:31I will have Tourette's for my whole life,

0:11:31 > 0:11:34but hopefully I can control it enough

0:11:34 > 0:11:37where it won't be very prominent.

0:11:37 > 0:11:39Oh.

0:11:39 > 0:11:45But I still do get looks from people, like, "Oh, what's he doing?"

0:11:45 > 0:11:47People aren't a fan of difference.

0:11:47 > 0:11:49They like normal.

0:11:50 > 0:11:51Guess so.

0:11:51 > 0:11:54# Sorry, I ain't got no money I'm not tryin' to be funny

0:11:54 > 0:11:56# But I left it all at home today. #

0:11:56 > 0:11:59If my friends were to describe me,

0:11:59 > 0:12:05they'd probably describe me as caring, weird and funny.

0:12:05 > 0:12:08# Ain't got no money I'm not trying to be funny... #

0:12:09 > 0:12:10This is my best friend, Saskia.

0:12:10 > 0:12:13She's always there for me.

0:12:13 > 0:12:15We don't go to the same school any more,

0:12:15 > 0:12:17but we go to drama club together.

0:12:17 > 0:12:19Are you excited for the showcase?

0:12:19 > 0:12:22I'm very excited, but I'm a bit nervous.

0:12:22 > 0:12:24They're so much stress.

0:12:24 > 0:12:25Do you know my hands go cold when I'm nervous?

0:12:25 > 0:12:28- Yeah, especially when you're playing keyboard.- Yeah, exactly.

0:12:28 > 0:12:31So if I'm... If my hands are cold and I'm ticcing,

0:12:31 > 0:12:35that's probably not going to end very well, but it makes me who I am.

0:12:35 > 0:12:37- Mm, yeah. - Like, if I didn't have Tourette's,

0:12:37 > 0:12:39- then I wouldn't be...- Unique.

0:12:39 > 0:12:42Exactly! Like, you've got big ears, I've got Tourette's!

0:12:42 > 0:12:44- THEY LAUGH - Thanks(!)

0:12:44 > 0:12:47Well, we've all got our own thing.

0:12:48 > 0:12:52When you're ticcing a lot, what calms you down?

0:12:52 > 0:12:53Probably Luna.

0:12:53 > 0:12:55I know it sounds sad,

0:12:55 > 0:12:56but she is, like, my best friend,

0:12:56 > 0:12:58apart from you, obviously!

0:12:58 > 0:13:00- Thank you.- And I feel like we've got a special bond.

0:13:02 > 0:13:05There we go. Nice one.

0:13:05 > 0:13:07Have you ever seen me ticcing and go,

0:13:07 > 0:13:09"Was that a tic or just a weird movement?"

0:13:09 > 0:13:14Yes. We were doing dance or something, and then...

0:13:14 > 0:13:17- you were doing your arm thing? - Yeah.- And I was like...

0:13:18 > 0:13:20"That's not part of the dance!"

0:13:20 > 0:13:21"Did we do that in the dance, or...?"

0:13:21 > 0:13:24And I was like, "Oh, no, she must be ticcing."

0:13:25 > 0:13:28I was having dinner with my auntie and I threw a sausage at her,

0:13:28 > 0:13:30because it was on the end of my fork and...

0:13:30 > 0:13:31- That's hilarious! - Yeah, she was like,

0:13:31 > 0:13:34"Was that a tic, or did you mean to do that?"

0:13:34 > 0:13:36You can get away with it,

0:13:36 > 0:13:39- throwing sausages are people. - I know, I can! Yeah.

0:13:39 > 0:13:41I can get away with a lot of things.

0:13:41 > 0:13:45Some days you get lucky and you don't tic,

0:13:45 > 0:13:49but some days you just tic,

0:13:49 > 0:13:54some days you just tic through the whole amount of the day.

0:13:54 > 0:13:58It's kind of unpredictable, and the days that I have

0:13:58 > 0:14:02like, my downs, obviously,

0:14:02 > 0:14:06it's really constant and it happens every second.

0:14:06 > 0:14:08Hiya.

0:14:08 > 0:14:11It's Thursday and I've woken up

0:14:11 > 0:14:12with a really bad neck tic.

0:14:12 > 0:14:16Which is this.

0:14:16 > 0:14:17Like that.

0:14:17 > 0:14:21Just over and over again.

0:14:21 > 0:14:22It really hurts.

0:14:22 > 0:14:24It's really painful...

0:14:26 > 0:14:28..to constantly do that.

0:14:33 > 0:14:38If you did your ERP, would that help you stop the neck tic?

0:14:38 > 0:14:39- SOBS:- I don't know.

0:14:43 > 0:14:45I don't want to see you like this.

0:14:45 > 0:14:49It really hurts, my neck.

0:14:49 > 0:14:50OK.

0:14:50 > 0:14:53Well, I'll have to phone the school then and say you can't go in

0:14:53 > 0:14:55because of your tic today.

0:14:55 > 0:14:56OK.

0:14:58 > 0:15:03My neck is better now, it's the end of the day, it's better. Good.

0:15:04 > 0:15:06Three, two, one, go!

0:15:09 > 0:15:12I don't like to miss school, but the fact is,

0:15:12 > 0:15:15I still have bad days even with therapy.

0:15:15 > 0:15:18But then my sister Prudence is there to cheer me up.

0:15:18 > 0:15:22When you actually got diagnosed properly,

0:15:22 > 0:15:27I think it was a massive shock to all of us, and especially to me,

0:15:27 > 0:15:30as we're so close as brother and sister.

0:15:30 > 0:15:34Is it hard for you to explain to people what you've got?

0:15:34 > 0:15:38I feel, like, over time, I've gotten a lot better at explaining it.

0:15:38 > 0:15:40You think?

0:15:40 > 0:15:43Yeah. I think I can tell people

0:15:43 > 0:15:48a lot easier now and help to make them understand.

0:15:48 > 0:15:49Yeah.

0:15:49 > 0:15:50It's life-changing for you.

0:15:50 > 0:15:54And even though you're so good at controlling,

0:15:54 > 0:15:58you do have peak times where you're

0:15:58 > 0:16:00not the best at controlling.

0:16:00 > 0:16:02- You know?- Yeah.

0:16:02 > 0:16:05And you have helped me out a lot.

0:16:05 > 0:16:07You've been there for me, which really helps me.

0:16:07 > 0:16:10If you ever need me, then I'm always there.

0:16:10 > 0:16:11- Always.- Yeah.

0:16:15 > 0:16:18My drama showcase is just days away,

0:16:18 > 0:16:21and things are beginning to get on top of me.

0:16:21 > 0:16:24It's very stressful at the moment.

0:16:24 > 0:16:29And my tics have been really not helping.

0:16:31 > 0:16:33I've been really, really ticcy.

0:16:33 > 0:16:36There have been quite a few jokes or comments

0:16:36 > 0:16:38or sneers about them at school.

0:16:40 > 0:16:42SHE SIGHS

0:16:43 > 0:16:47It's just not the best of times at the moment.

0:16:48 > 0:16:50But the good news is,

0:16:50 > 0:16:53I can always rely on my friend Saskia to cheer me up.

0:16:53 > 0:16:55Reasons why I love you.

0:16:57 > 0:16:59Who gave it to you?

0:16:59 > 0:17:00This girl!

0:17:00 > 0:17:02I'm too cute. It was one of the days

0:17:02 > 0:17:05when you were just feeling really bad

0:17:05 > 0:17:08and I was at home, and I was like, "I have an idea."

0:17:08 > 0:17:11And I just thought it would be nice.

0:17:11 > 0:17:13I think it's really cute, so, thank you.

0:17:13 > 0:17:16"You make me feel at home in because you practically live..."

0:17:16 > 0:17:17You are my best friend!

0:17:17 > 0:17:20- That's my favourite. - And then I drew a little stickman!

0:17:20 > 0:17:23"You are fun," with a smiley face and a weird nose!

0:17:23 > 0:17:26It's nice to know that she's there,

0:17:26 > 0:17:29with her little message that she wrote to cheer me up.

0:17:29 > 0:17:32- I do read these when I'm sad.- Aw!

0:17:36 > 0:17:39As part of my treatment at Great Ormond Street,

0:17:39 > 0:17:42my mum's been taking me to London for group therapy.

0:17:42 > 0:17:45All the children in the group have Tourette's.

0:17:45 > 0:17:49It's a place to share experiences and learn to handle our tic.

0:17:49 > 0:17:52We've been working on tic blockers, haven't we?

0:17:52 > 0:17:53OK.

0:17:53 > 0:17:57So, would anybody like to talk a bit about what tic they had

0:17:57 > 0:17:59that they've worked on?

0:17:59 > 0:18:02A tic blocker is an alternative action that you do

0:18:02 > 0:18:06instead of a big or noisy tic, and it takes some practice.

0:18:06 > 0:18:10I've got actually four tic blockers,

0:18:10 > 0:18:15and one of them stops two.

0:18:15 > 0:18:17It's just you have to keep it in really far back.

0:18:17 > 0:18:20So your tic blocker is putting your chin far back?

0:18:20 > 0:18:21- Yes.- Is that right? Well done.

0:18:21 > 0:18:23And are you doing that tic blocker now?

0:18:23 > 0:18:25Cos I can't see the tic now.

0:18:25 > 0:18:26Good job! OK.

0:18:26 > 0:18:29And do you think knowing good tic blockers

0:18:29 > 0:18:32- helps you to know when the tic is about to come?- Yeah.

0:18:32 > 0:18:34And then you can do your tic blocker

0:18:34 > 0:18:38and hopefully control at least some of your tics.

0:18:38 > 0:18:40I have a toe crunching one.

0:18:40 > 0:18:42Toe...toe crunching?

0:18:42 > 0:18:47- Yeah.- My tic blocker is to point my toes upwards.

0:18:47 > 0:18:48Yeah.

0:18:48 > 0:18:51Rupert, what tic have you been working on?

0:18:51 > 0:18:53My throat noise tic.

0:18:53 > 0:18:58And my tic blocker is that I will breathe in through my mouth

0:18:58 > 0:19:02and slowly and then out from my mouth slowly.

0:19:02 > 0:19:05But I have to make sure that I don't do it too loud.

0:19:05 > 0:19:07Because breathing slowly and quietly

0:19:07 > 0:19:10is much less socially noticeable than doing a squeak, isn't it?

0:19:10 > 0:19:13- Yeah.- That's really important one. Thank you for that.

0:19:13 > 0:19:16We're coming to the end of our group treatment.

0:19:16 > 0:19:19You've been working away on all those tics.

0:19:19 > 0:19:21How have you found the group treatment?

0:19:21 > 0:19:24When you see other people ticcing, it's like,

0:19:24 > 0:19:28kind of a relief that you're not the only one who's doing those tics.

0:19:28 > 0:19:32It's really nice to not feel that you're alone with these tics.

0:19:32 > 0:19:34OK, I think you all did really brilliantly.

0:19:34 > 0:19:38- Thank you very much. - Big smiles, that's it! Lovely.

0:19:38 > 0:19:43Group therapy was really helpful and it showed me ways to manage my tics

0:19:43 > 0:19:46and be more confident about my Tourette's.

0:19:46 > 0:19:50And do you know what? I think you are doing amazingly well.

0:19:50 > 0:19:54- Thanks.- Very proud of you. - Thanks.

0:19:54 > 0:19:57HE SQUEALS

0:19:58 > 0:20:01I find going anywhere on my own really difficult.

0:20:01 > 0:20:04And at school, I worry about ticcing in front of other people.

0:20:04 > 0:20:06So for the moment,

0:20:06 > 0:20:09I'M taught with only a few others in a special unit run by Mr Rowland.

0:20:09 > 0:20:11And I hit the...

0:20:11 > 0:20:14Right, so we have to say choo-choo when you land on a station.

0:20:14 > 0:20:17- Choo-choo!- No, you need to say it with enthusiasm, sir.

0:20:17 > 0:20:21- I'm sorry. Choo-choo!- No, no, no... - That was a bit angry, wasn't it?

0:20:21 > 0:20:24- Choo-choo! Was that better? - Choo-choo!

0:20:24 > 0:20:25He's got 400.

0:20:25 > 0:20:29He's just on the easiest sum on the Monopoly maths board there.

0:20:29 > 0:20:32Inside the unit, everyone's understanding about my tics.

0:20:32 > 0:20:35I haven't got the confidence to have lessons in the main school yet,

0:20:35 > 0:20:37but Mr Rowland is helping me.

0:20:37 > 0:20:41How is your year going, Connor, do you think?

0:20:41 > 0:20:43Yeah, it's been all right, I guess.

0:20:43 > 0:20:45- Were you ticcing at school in year seven?- No, not really.

0:20:45 > 0:20:48- Why weren't you ticcing at school? - Cos it was always embarrassing.

0:20:48 > 0:20:50I was, like, holding it in, but it made me worse.

0:20:50 > 0:20:52What was worse, like, the tics?

0:20:52 > 0:20:54- Yeah.- So then what changed in year eight?

0:20:54 > 0:20:56- I don't know.- You started ticcing, didn't you?

0:20:56 > 0:20:59- Yeah, that's it.- What do you think the reactions were from people

0:20:59 > 0:21:00when you started ticcing?

0:21:00 > 0:21:03- Surprised.- Remember that day when you started ticcing in here?

0:21:03 > 0:21:05What was the reaction, like, from people that age?

0:21:05 > 0:21:08- Funny.- The first time everyone heard you ticcing here,

0:21:08 > 0:21:11you were well like, "Sorry, I've got Tourette's.

0:21:11 > 0:21:13"That's the way it is." It is the way it is.

0:21:13 > 0:21:16It's easier to learn the mechanisms to cope with it,

0:21:16 > 0:21:18have that sentence ready, "Sorry, I've got Tourette's."

0:21:18 > 0:21:21So, what do you reckon for next year, then?

0:21:21 > 0:21:23- What do you reckon about going back into lessons?- No.

0:21:23 > 0:21:26You say no, but would you like to go back into lessons?

0:21:26 > 0:21:28- Yes.- Yeah.

0:21:28 > 0:21:30So I reckon your target for next year

0:21:30 > 0:21:33should be to start ticcing in front of everybody in classes.

0:21:33 > 0:21:35Yeah, I know.

0:21:35 > 0:21:38If I'm doing a tic, nobody really minds about it,

0:21:38 > 0:21:41because I already told the class.

0:21:41 > 0:21:45Now they know about my tics, it's much easier and way easier.

0:21:45 > 0:21:47We can't help it.

0:21:47 > 0:21:51And all of us wants to be accepted for who we are.

0:21:51 > 0:21:55Like, it's just hard not to be,

0:21:55 > 0:21:58I don't know, able to do things.

0:21:58 > 0:22:01A lot of the time, it's very difficult and tricky,

0:22:01 > 0:22:03but I have to get through it.

0:22:03 > 0:22:05- HE SQUEALS - BLEEP.

0:22:08 > 0:22:10Just stop my fears and just do it.

0:22:11 > 0:22:13Tonight is the showcase.

0:22:13 > 0:22:16My mum, my dad and my grandma are coming.

0:22:16 > 0:22:19And I'm so excited to see you guys on stage.

0:22:19 > 0:22:23Just go out there and just give it everything, OK?

0:22:23 > 0:22:26- One, two, three... - ALL:- Whooo!

0:22:26 > 0:22:28# The many chances I blew To bring my life to anew

0:22:28 > 0:22:30# Clear blue and unconditional... #

0:22:30 > 0:22:34The show started and my piano piece is coming up any minute,

0:22:34 > 0:22:36but my tics are really bad.

0:22:36 > 0:22:38My hands are cold and I'm wondering if I can do it.

0:22:40 > 0:22:41My hands are cold!

0:22:41 > 0:22:44I'm so scared I'm going to mess up.

0:22:44 > 0:22:46SHE SOBS

0:22:46 > 0:22:49- You just need to relax. - Take a break and go outside.

0:22:57 > 0:23:01I'm just really scared I'm going to mess up on the piano.

0:23:01 > 0:23:02No, you're not, you're not.

0:23:02 > 0:23:05Cool down, cos it's going to be really hot behind there, OK?

0:23:05 > 0:23:07- Yeah.- You've done really well. - Thank you.

0:23:07 > 0:23:10- This is really tricky for you, with everything else.- Yeah.

0:23:10 > 0:23:12Nice deep breath. Nice deep breath.

0:23:14 > 0:23:18- (OK.)- OK?- Yeah.- OK, are you sure?

0:23:18 > 0:23:21- Yeah.- Only when you're ready.

0:23:29 > 0:23:32I'm sorry. I'm just scared it's not going to work.

0:23:32 > 0:23:34APPLAUSE

0:23:34 > 0:23:36- It's going to be brilliant. - Seriously, so good.

0:23:48 > 0:23:53# Aye

0:23:53 > 0:23:56# Mm-mm

0:24:03 > 0:24:07# The power of love

0:24:07 > 0:24:11# That falls from above

0:24:11 > 0:24:13# Cleaning my soul. #

0:24:13 > 0:24:16CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:24:16 > 0:24:17That was great!

0:24:28 > 0:24:30Oh, my God.

0:24:30 > 0:24:32Had a nervous breakdown.

0:24:32 > 0:24:34When I played, my hands were shaking.

0:24:34 > 0:24:37But once I did it, I just had a massive smile on my face.

0:24:37 > 0:24:39I'm really happy that I did it now.

0:24:44 > 0:24:48- Oh, you were so fantastic. - Thank you.- I was so proud of you.

0:24:48 > 0:24:50- I'm really sweaty! - You were wonderful.- Thank you.

0:24:50 > 0:24:52That was brilliant, darling, well done.

0:24:52 > 0:24:56- Thank you. - A great Father's Day present.

0:24:56 > 0:24:59We've been making this documentary for nearly six months now.

0:24:59 > 0:25:04So far, we've not met each other, so we've arranged to meet in Brighton.

0:25:04 > 0:25:07I hope Connor can find the courage to come and meet us too.

0:25:07 > 0:25:09- Hi, I'm Grace.- Oh, hi.

0:25:09 > 0:25:11- You must be Rupert.- Yeah.

0:25:11 > 0:25:13Hi. So have you been to Brighton before?

0:25:13 > 0:25:16No, this is the first time I've actually come here.

0:25:16 > 0:25:19I know Rupert's done therapy for his Tourette's Syndrome.

0:25:19 > 0:25:20Did it help?

0:25:20 > 0:25:22For the longest time,

0:25:22 > 0:25:26I just really felt like no-one understood what I was going through.

0:25:26 > 0:25:28Yeah, I understand.

0:25:28 > 0:25:30Because... I, like...

0:25:30 > 0:25:32It's weird. I felt like an alien.

0:25:32 > 0:25:36- Yeah.- It's so weird. Like, everyone else was so different to me.

0:25:37 > 0:25:41But then, obviously, I met a lot of people with Tourette's,

0:25:41 > 0:25:43and, like, that's reassuring.

0:25:43 > 0:25:46With the film, I'm a bit more confident showing my tics.

0:25:46 > 0:25:49- Yeah.- I can't control them a bit better,

0:25:49 > 0:25:52which gives you more confidence to go out and stuff.

0:25:52 > 0:25:54- Do you like rides?- Yeah.

0:25:54 > 0:25:56Do you like fast rides?

0:25:56 > 0:25:59- Yeah.- Right, let's go around here.

0:26:01 > 0:26:04Right, you go on the turkey, I'll go on the horse.

0:26:04 > 0:26:06Whoo! Oh!

0:26:09 > 0:26:13Coming into Brighton to meet Grace and Rupert is a big step for me.

0:26:15 > 0:26:17Till now, my tics have held me back.

0:26:18 > 0:26:21But I'm hoping it'll all be fine because they've got Tourette's too.

0:26:22 > 0:26:26A little bit nervous, but curious to see,

0:26:26 > 0:26:28are you going to get on with them, or are you not?

0:26:31 > 0:26:35- Hi! I'm Grace. This is Rupert. - Hi, it's nice to meet you.

0:26:35 > 0:26:38- We could go on these, if you want? - Yeah, that might be fun.- Cool.

0:26:38 > 0:26:39Is that what you want to do?

0:26:39 > 0:26:41Cool, yeah.

0:26:45 > 0:26:47THEY LAUGH

0:26:47 > 0:26:49This is amazeballs.

0:26:54 > 0:26:56What's your most active tic?

0:26:56 > 0:26:57Mine's like doing my chin and things.

0:26:57 > 0:26:59My face. Doing that.

0:26:59 > 0:27:01I do blinks, like that.

0:27:01 > 0:27:02- I do that.- Put my face up.- Yeah.

0:27:02 > 0:27:04Here we go!

0:27:04 > 0:27:05- Do you swear?- I don't, no.

0:27:05 > 0:27:07- You are well lucky.- Do you?

0:27:07 > 0:27:10- Yeah.- Aw. I can't believe we're talking about this!

0:27:10 > 0:27:13Whoa!

0:27:13 > 0:27:15Grace and Rupert are really understanding.

0:27:15 > 0:27:18It's been an amazing day with them and I hope to do it again.

0:27:18 > 0:27:21What did you guys like the most about doing this?

0:27:21 > 0:27:23When this goes out and people with Tourette's

0:27:23 > 0:27:26might watch it and feel a lot

0:27:26 > 0:27:28more comfortable with their Tourette's.

0:27:28 > 0:27:32It's OK to sometimes feel self-conscious of your tics

0:27:32 > 0:27:33and it's OK to acknowledge them,

0:27:33 > 0:27:35and it's OK to tell people.

0:27:35 > 0:27:37And you shouldn't be scared of letting people know

0:27:37 > 0:27:39that you've got this thing that you can't help.

0:27:39 > 0:27:40What about you, Rupert?

0:27:40 > 0:27:44If someone has Tourette's, they are still them.

0:27:44 > 0:27:47- Yeah.- It doesn't change who they are.

0:27:47 > 0:27:50- Yeah.- It's been nice meeting you guys here.

0:27:50 > 0:27:53- Very nice.- Thank you. - Thank you for today. Let's go.