0:00:02 > 0:00:03I can't. I can't do it!
0:00:03 > 0:00:05What if I fall?
0:00:05 > 0:00:07I'm Ellie, and I'm heading off to the mountains
0:00:07 > 0:00:10with three other teenagers to go on an exciting adventure.
0:00:10 > 0:00:12- ALL:- Cheese!
0:00:12 > 0:00:14- Woohoo! - CAMERA CLICKS
0:00:14 > 0:00:16But it's not a holiday.
0:00:16 > 0:00:17It's a challenge,
0:00:17 > 0:00:19because we all struggle with our mental health.
0:00:21 > 0:00:24This week, we're going to be tested emotionally...
0:00:24 > 0:00:25Stop. Breathe.
0:00:25 > 0:00:26We carry on.
0:00:26 > 0:00:28..mentally...
0:00:28 > 0:00:29Go away!
0:00:29 > 0:00:30..and physically.
0:00:30 > 0:00:32I don't like this. I don't like this.
0:00:32 > 0:00:34Come on, let's go!
0:00:35 > 0:00:37But will we make it to the end?
0:00:37 > 0:00:39ELLIE SHRIEKS
0:00:59 > 0:01:01MUSIC: Bonkers by Dizzee Rascal
0:01:01 > 0:01:02# Some people think I'm bonkers
0:01:02 > 0:01:04# But I just think I'm free... #
0:01:04 > 0:01:06My name is Ellie.
0:01:06 > 0:01:08I'm 15 years old and I'm from Essex.
0:01:08 > 0:01:10- We need to mash this up. - Two plus two is four.
0:01:10 > 0:01:14- Minus one, that's quick maths. - Minus one, that's quick maths.
0:01:14 > 0:01:18This is Harry, Michael and Henry.
0:01:18 > 0:01:21We're travelling over a 300 miles to the Lake District
0:01:21 > 0:01:25because the four of us have trouble with our mental health.
0:01:25 > 0:01:29I started struggling with depression when I was about eight or nine.
0:01:29 > 0:01:33I felt really different to other kids my age.
0:01:33 > 0:01:35The feeling was like just not belonging,
0:01:35 > 0:01:40not really knowing who I was, and feeling empty 24/7.
0:01:41 > 0:01:44I would describe my depression like a bear...
0:01:44 > 0:01:48BEAR GROWLS ..so some days it can be as big as the bear,
0:01:48 > 0:01:52and then other days it can be a fly in the palm of the bear.
0:01:54 > 0:02:00The days when it's like the whole bear are painful.
0:02:00 > 0:02:03They're... They're hard days to get through, really.
0:02:05 > 0:02:07When I say about my bad days,
0:02:07 > 0:02:10it doesn't have to be anything that triggers them.
0:02:10 > 0:02:11SHE SNIFFLES
0:02:11 > 0:02:15It doesn't have to be anything said to me.
0:02:15 > 0:02:20It can be as simple as me waking up out of that bed
0:02:20 > 0:02:23and feeling like this for hours on end,
0:02:23 > 0:02:25panic attack after panic attack.
0:02:28 > 0:02:30I've been getting help for my depression for the last few years
0:02:30 > 0:02:32from doctors and my family.
0:02:35 > 0:02:38So you've got three thermal bottoms and three thermal tops.
0:02:38 > 0:02:39Is that enough?
0:02:39 > 0:02:44I live 50% of the time with my mum and 50% of the time with my dad.
0:02:44 > 0:02:47- That will be enough thermals, yeah. - For the week. And how many fleeces?
0:02:47 > 0:02:51I'm feeling really nervous about the trail, actually -
0:02:51 > 0:02:54being under pressure and stuff like that.
0:02:54 > 0:02:56That will fold up on to the top, won't it?
0:02:56 > 0:02:58Yeah, or in the bottom bit.
0:02:58 > 0:03:02I'm really hoping the trail is going to help me control my mental health.
0:03:02 > 0:03:05I'm looking forward to learning some new ways
0:03:05 > 0:03:08to deal with some of the problems that I have.
0:03:08 > 0:03:10Right.
0:03:10 > 0:03:12I think that's everything.
0:03:14 > 0:03:16Yeah, I think that might be close to everything.
0:03:16 > 0:03:18SHE CHUCKLES
0:03:20 > 0:03:23The question is, are we going to get there in time?
0:03:23 > 0:03:25Like, we might get there in, like, five years.
0:03:25 > 0:03:28- Feels like it.- It's taking ages.
0:03:28 > 0:03:31All four of us are hoping to achieve things over the next few days
0:03:31 > 0:03:33and we're not on our own.
0:03:33 > 0:03:36Jo and Teresa from the Wilderness Foundation will be
0:03:36 > 0:03:38helping us along the way.
0:03:38 > 0:03:39What happened to my hat?
0:03:39 > 0:03:41Whoa, your head's big!
0:03:41 > 0:03:44The Foundation is a charity that takes young people with
0:03:44 > 0:03:47mental health problems into the mountains for therapy.
0:03:47 > 0:03:49- #- Now watch me - You
0:03:49 > 0:03:50- #- Now watch me - You
0:03:50 > 0:03:51- #- Michael, see?- #
0:03:51 > 0:03:54I've been away with Harry and Henry before,
0:03:54 > 0:03:56but this is Michael's first trip with us.
0:03:57 > 0:04:01I'm Michael, I'm 14 years old and I'm from Essex.
0:04:01 > 0:04:04- Hey, what is that?- Look at this.
0:04:04 > 0:04:06I live with my mum and my two sisters,
0:04:06 > 0:04:10and we have five rabbits, a cat, a dog and two tortoises.
0:04:10 > 0:04:12- Come here, Flopsy.- Flopsy...
0:04:12 > 0:04:16- Look, his ears are up.- Thank you. - Yeah, go on, then.
0:04:16 > 0:04:20I first started with anxiety towards the end of primary school.
0:04:20 > 0:04:23When my anxiety starts, I get a feeling right in my stomach.
0:04:23 > 0:04:26My knee will start shaking,
0:04:26 > 0:04:28I'll be sniffing a lot and I'll be very fidgety.
0:04:28 > 0:04:30HE SNIFFS
0:04:30 > 0:04:33I will shut down. I will just close myself off.
0:04:33 > 0:04:36I'll ignore everything that's going around me,
0:04:36 > 0:04:37and I just find it a lot easier.
0:04:39 > 0:04:43I'm really not sure what I'm planning to get out of this trail.
0:04:43 > 0:04:48I just, kind of, want to find better ways to deal with my anxiety,
0:04:48 > 0:04:51instead of getting so angry at people or shutting down.
0:04:52 > 0:04:55I think I'm going to be quite nervous around new people there.
0:04:56 > 0:04:58Are we there yet? Are we there yet?
0:04:58 > 0:05:00- Are we there yet?- No, we're not there. We're on a motorway!
0:05:05 > 0:05:07- We're here!- Yes.
0:05:07 > 0:05:11It's taken over ten hours to get to the Lake District.
0:05:11 > 0:05:14We're tired but excited about the next few days.
0:05:14 > 0:05:16This is the lounge.
0:05:16 > 0:05:19Oh, interesting.
0:05:19 > 0:05:22We've been joined by Adrian, a mountain guide,
0:05:22 > 0:05:24who, along with Jo, will be leading our trail.
0:05:24 > 0:05:28This is so cool!
0:05:28 > 0:05:31You can't complain, can you, about anything?
0:05:31 > 0:05:33Kitchen.
0:05:33 > 0:05:34- Oh, God.- Jeez.
0:05:36 > 0:05:40This morning I didn't really know whether I wanted to come or not,
0:05:40 > 0:05:44just because I didn't know if I'd enjoy it as much as I first thought,
0:05:44 > 0:05:47and also because I had no clue if I wanted to get out of bed or not.
0:05:47 > 0:05:48I just, kind of, wanted to stay there
0:05:48 > 0:05:50and lay there all day, to be honest.
0:05:50 > 0:05:52I want to wake up tomorrow and start doing stuff,
0:05:52 > 0:05:54but I need a good sleep first.
0:06:05 > 0:06:07SHEEP BLEATING
0:06:07 > 0:06:09I actually hate unpacking.
0:06:09 > 0:06:11- Yeah.- It does my nut in.
0:06:12 > 0:06:16Today, we're setting off on our big hike.
0:06:16 > 0:06:20I am quite stressed out, actually,
0:06:20 > 0:06:21because of all the packing and stuff,
0:06:21 > 0:06:24and my bag's extremely heavy.
0:06:24 > 0:06:25It's a challenge.
0:06:26 > 0:06:29We're going to cross over the stream at the bridge.
0:06:29 > 0:06:32The track's up the mountain.
0:06:32 > 0:06:33So, shall we head off?
0:06:33 > 0:06:35- Yeah.- Excellent.
0:06:35 > 0:06:37We're climbing the Old Man of Coniston
0:06:37 > 0:06:39and sleeping in tents tonight.
0:06:39 > 0:06:42The mountain is over 800 metres high,
0:06:42 > 0:06:45but, before we start, we need to do the important stuff -
0:06:45 > 0:06:46a group selfie.
0:06:46 > 0:06:47- ALL:- Cheese!
0:06:47 > 0:06:49Woohoo!
0:06:49 > 0:06:51CAMERA CLICKS
0:07:24 > 0:07:27It was all going OK at first, but the further we walked,
0:07:27 > 0:07:29the heavier in my rucksack got,
0:07:29 > 0:07:31and it started to weigh me down.
0:07:32 > 0:07:33Go away.
0:07:33 > 0:07:35Which way?
0:07:35 > 0:07:36I don't care!
0:07:36 > 0:07:39I started to get really angry.
0:07:39 > 0:07:42I snapped at Henry without meaning to,
0:07:42 > 0:07:44and that's when the panic attack started.
0:07:44 > 0:07:46I just couldn't breathe.
0:07:46 > 0:07:48I felt myself, like, lost for breath,
0:07:48 > 0:07:51and I thought it was something to do with my rucksack, to be fair,
0:07:51 > 0:07:52and I just started crying.
0:07:52 > 0:07:54I didn't really know what was wrong.
0:07:57 > 0:08:00Deep breaths. They call it belly breathing.
0:08:00 > 0:08:03It calms you down, OK?
0:08:03 > 0:08:05And you don't have to keep pushing through that.
0:08:05 > 0:08:08You're human. Your body is talking to you.
0:08:08 > 0:08:10You need to listen to your body.
0:08:10 > 0:08:11- Stop. Breathe.- OK.
0:08:11 > 0:08:13You're just not centred.
0:08:13 > 0:08:14We'll carry on again. OK?
0:08:14 > 0:08:16All right, thank you.
0:08:16 > 0:08:17OK.
0:08:19 > 0:08:20That was so weird.
0:08:20 > 0:08:24Jo reminds me how to calm myself down with deep breathing,
0:08:24 > 0:08:27so that I'm able to continue.
0:08:27 > 0:08:29Michael is well ahead.
0:08:29 > 0:08:30Michael needs to slow down.
0:08:30 > 0:08:32Yeah.
0:08:32 > 0:08:33Michael!
0:08:35 > 0:08:36Michael!
0:08:37 > 0:08:41Because of my anxiety, I keep myself to myself a lot of the time,
0:08:41 > 0:08:44just cos I get very nervous.
0:08:44 > 0:08:47I like to be as far away from people as I can be,
0:08:47 > 0:08:49and ignore everything that's going on.
0:08:49 > 0:08:52I don't feel lonely when I do it.
0:08:52 > 0:08:55Like, I just kind of feel in my own little space.
0:08:55 > 0:09:00One hobby that really helps Michael control his anxiety is drumming.
0:09:00 > 0:09:01DRUM FILL
0:09:05 > 0:09:06Drumming is a release for me.
0:09:09 > 0:09:12I got my first drum kit when I was about three years old.
0:09:13 > 0:09:14It calms me down a lot.
0:09:14 > 0:09:16While I'm playing, I feel a lot calmer,
0:09:16 > 0:09:19and I, kind of, forget about everything else.
0:09:19 > 0:09:23But his anxiety stops him from playing in front of an audience.
0:09:23 > 0:09:27I want to perform in front of people, but I get very nervous,
0:09:27 > 0:09:29with just all these eyes watching me.
0:09:29 > 0:09:31It's just going to mess with my head so badly.
0:09:31 > 0:09:33Like, that's my main fear.
0:09:39 > 0:09:42We've been climbing for over four hours,
0:09:42 > 0:09:45and we're not far from where we'll be camping for the night.
0:09:45 > 0:09:48Jo wants us to do an exercise by the water.
0:09:48 > 0:09:51She's asked us to find three rocks that represent our past,
0:09:51 > 0:09:53present and future.
0:09:54 > 0:09:56This one was about here, I think.
0:09:56 > 0:09:58This is when my parents got divorced.
0:09:58 > 0:10:01This one was when I was first experiencing, like,
0:10:01 > 0:10:03parents arguing at quite a young age.
0:10:03 > 0:10:07Having one-to-one sessions with Jo are tough, but really rewarding.
0:10:09 > 0:10:14A lot of my depression and anxiety and stuff, I know it's up here.
0:10:14 > 0:10:16Like, I know it doesn't come from my body.
0:10:16 > 0:10:20My problem is that I'd rather sit there and do nothing about it.
0:10:20 > 0:10:23Jo is a great listener and I trust her completely,
0:10:23 > 0:10:24so it's easy to open up.
0:10:26 > 0:10:30What are you doing differently to what you were doing there?
0:10:30 > 0:10:32I want to change.
0:10:32 > 0:10:35I actually want it. I'm not doing it for my parents.
0:10:35 > 0:10:36I'm not doing it for my education.
0:10:36 > 0:10:38I'm not doing it for you,
0:10:38 > 0:10:42or for anybody but me and my heart and my future.
0:10:42 > 0:10:46My mental health has mucked up my life in terms of education.
0:10:46 > 0:10:48Because of the problems that I've had,
0:10:48 > 0:10:50I've not been able to go to school.
0:10:52 > 0:10:55I want to get back to school. I want to get my GCSEs.
0:10:55 > 0:10:57I know what I want to do when I get older,
0:10:57 > 0:11:01and I'm starting to learn how I should behave with my parents -
0:11:01 > 0:11:03not going out at stupid o'clock,
0:11:03 > 0:11:06and not doing things that I shouldn't be doing.
0:11:06 > 0:11:07You know, but what you've done, Ellie,
0:11:07 > 0:11:10is just embrace something so beautifully.
0:11:10 > 0:11:11- Thank you, Ellie.- It's all right.
0:11:13 > 0:11:18Michael! Can you come help Henry with the tent, please?
0:11:21 > 0:11:23It's really difficult putting tents up in the wind.
0:11:23 > 0:11:25- LAUGHTER That was brilliant!- What a catch!
0:11:25 > 0:11:27- Did you see that?- I caught it.
0:11:27 > 0:11:29I don't like doing tents.
0:11:29 > 0:11:31Tents are irritable.
0:11:31 > 0:11:35I just want to eat. I'm a bit too tired.
0:11:35 > 0:11:39I agree. We've climbed nearly 400 metres today, so we're all starving.
0:11:41 > 0:11:43This is absolutely lovely, guys.
0:11:43 > 0:11:45Thank you.
0:11:45 > 0:11:47Tell me, what is this?
0:11:47 > 0:11:48It's a chickpea.
0:11:48 > 0:11:50And what's a chickpea?
0:11:50 > 0:11:51I think it has come from a chick.
0:11:51 > 0:11:52What, like an actual chick?
0:11:52 > 0:11:55- ELLIE LAUGHS - Yeah!
0:11:55 > 0:11:57It's like a bean or peas or something like that.
0:11:57 > 0:11:59Yeah, so it comes in a pod, you know, like a bean or a pea.
0:11:59 > 0:12:02So it doesn't come out of a chicken's bum?
0:12:02 > 0:12:04- No.- Right, sweet.
0:12:06 > 0:12:08So, has everybody got their hot drinks?
0:12:08 > 0:12:13OK, so it'd be really nice to just hear how you felt your day went.
0:12:13 > 0:12:17My lowest point was when that panic attack just...
0:12:17 > 0:12:20I don't know, it just turned like that.
0:12:20 > 0:12:22What about you, Michael?
0:12:22 > 0:12:25What happened to your mood when you were climbing up?
0:12:25 > 0:12:27At the start of the day, I didn't feel great, if I'm honest.
0:12:27 > 0:12:29Cos you just shut down, didn't you?
0:12:29 > 0:12:33I almost wonder if that's because you're too scared to feel,
0:12:33 > 0:12:35cos if you feel, then it's going to be an emotion that
0:12:35 > 0:12:37you might not be able to deal with.
0:12:37 > 0:12:39Yeah, it's just...
0:12:39 > 0:12:41I don't know how to react.
0:12:41 > 0:12:44So you don't want to risk actually feeling something,
0:12:44 > 0:12:46in case feeling something makes you react in a way that
0:12:46 > 0:12:48you don't want to react.
0:12:48 > 0:12:52But, you know, that feeling could be love, couldn't it?
0:12:52 > 0:12:54It doesn't have to be anger.
0:12:55 > 0:12:58It's been a challenging day for all of us.
0:12:58 > 0:12:59It's time to hit our tents.
0:13:07 > 0:13:09I don't feel good about today at all,
0:13:09 > 0:13:13because I'm in my sleeping bag and I'm nice and warm,
0:13:13 > 0:13:16but I know that, as soon as I get outside and start getting motivated,
0:13:16 > 0:13:17I'll be all right.
0:13:18 > 0:13:21I'm not really looking forward to the exercise over the rocks
0:13:21 > 0:13:25because I feel like bringing back things that have happened
0:13:25 > 0:13:27is kind of...
0:13:27 > 0:13:28I don't want to remind myself of them.
0:13:31 > 0:13:37Currently I still think about all the problems from the past...
0:13:37 > 0:13:42- Yeah.- ..but I don't react to them the way I used to.
0:13:42 > 0:13:47Like, now, I'll just completely ignore everything
0:13:47 > 0:13:48and I'll shut down.
0:13:48 > 0:13:50I don't get anything from it.
0:13:50 > 0:13:53It's not helping me.
0:13:53 > 0:13:55- Right, so you're staying stuck? - Mm-hmm.
0:13:55 > 0:13:58- So nothing's moving?- Yeah.- Yeah.
0:13:58 > 0:14:02It's just me trying... I need to learn not to shut down.
0:14:02 > 0:14:05I need to try and cope with it another way.
0:14:07 > 0:14:09OK, and what were the other two?
0:14:09 > 0:14:14I want to... I need to knuckle down so I can get my education.
0:14:14 > 0:14:17And the last one?
0:14:17 > 0:14:20It's just...spending more time with my mum.
0:14:20 > 0:14:24We used to be so close and now we're, kind of, quite far apart now.
0:14:24 > 0:14:25We argue too much.
0:14:25 > 0:14:28So, yeah, I'm trying to get close like we were before.
0:14:30 > 0:14:33You did a really good job. That was beautiful.
0:14:44 > 0:14:46We are going to have an independence walk now,
0:14:46 > 0:14:50and Adrian's going to brief you on what we're going to be doing.
0:14:50 > 0:14:54What we'd like you to do is take a little bit of leadership,
0:14:54 > 0:14:57so I'm going to show you where we are on this map
0:14:57 > 0:15:00and I want you guys, as a team, to get us home.
0:15:01 > 0:15:02See that little triangle?
0:15:02 > 0:15:03That's where we're going?
0:15:03 > 0:15:05All right, come on. Let's go!
0:15:07 > 0:15:08Map.
0:15:08 > 0:15:11Only a few minutes into our independence challenge,
0:15:11 > 0:15:13and we've already lost the map.
0:15:13 > 0:15:15Then I lose my footing.
0:15:18 > 0:15:21I start to get annoyed when I get the map back.
0:15:21 > 0:15:23I can't understand it.
0:15:23 > 0:15:25I'd say we're probably about here.
0:15:25 > 0:15:27No, we're a bit further down.
0:15:27 > 0:15:30What? All we're doing is following a path, it's not that hard.
0:15:30 > 0:15:32Well, here you go, leader, have the map. Take the map.
0:15:32 > 0:15:34- I don't even need it. - You seem to know so much about it.
0:15:34 > 0:15:35It's just a piece of...easy.
0:15:35 > 0:15:38- It's just easy.- I don't need it cos I've memorised it.
0:15:38 > 0:15:41- Take the map!- All right, I'll take the map. All right, here you go.
0:15:42 > 0:15:45Well, are you going to get far without that?
0:15:51 > 0:15:55Henry and Harry have walked off ahead when we're supposed to be working as a team.
0:15:57 > 0:16:00During our next break, we talk about how we're getting on.
0:16:00 > 0:16:03We're in charge of getting them to where we need to go.
0:16:03 > 0:16:06We've been set a task and we can't even accomplish it
0:16:06 > 0:16:08because it's such big deal.
0:16:08 > 0:16:15Cos I interpreted this Independence Day as being "find your own way",
0:16:15 > 0:16:17and that's what I've... I've just been following the path.
0:16:17 > 0:16:21There's a big difference between being independent
0:16:21 > 0:16:25and still, between the four of us, having to get everybody
0:16:25 > 0:16:26to a destination.
0:16:26 > 0:16:29Like, you haven't just got you to think about.
0:16:29 > 0:16:31Yeah, but it's just a bit boring, you know?
0:16:31 > 0:16:33It just gets really tedious after a while.
0:16:33 > 0:16:37All right, well, go, then. Just go and do whatever you want.
0:16:37 > 0:16:38It doesn't really matter, does it?
0:16:47 > 0:16:51Obviously I'd rather they were with us, helping, um...
0:16:51 > 0:16:53Helping everyone,
0:16:53 > 0:16:56but if they want to go and do their own thing,
0:16:56 > 0:16:59then it's their choice, really.
0:16:59 > 0:17:01Well, we haven't got a map.
0:17:01 > 0:17:04Have we got to follow that dirt track down?
0:17:04 > 0:17:07That's exactly what I'm thinking - is it that track or that one?
0:17:07 > 0:17:10All right. Let's go, then.
0:17:10 > 0:17:13Sadly, we're not completing our challenge as a team.
0:17:14 > 0:17:19It just got on my nerves that we got told it was Independence Day
0:17:19 > 0:17:23but then we had to, kind of, work in a team, and that's not independent.
0:17:25 > 0:17:28I got told that I got the wrong end of the stick.
0:17:28 > 0:17:29I got a little bit annoyed,
0:17:29 > 0:17:33and it was a situation I didn't really want to be in.
0:17:33 > 0:17:36What were we doing this time last night, guys?
0:17:36 > 0:17:37Sleeping. Oh, no, we weren't.
0:17:37 > 0:17:40- We were sitting in the wind. - It's 7.10.
0:17:40 > 0:17:41Yeah, the tents were up.
0:17:41 > 0:17:43But we've got to put this behind us,
0:17:43 > 0:17:45because we have bigger challenges to face.
0:17:51 > 0:17:53MUSIC: Lose Yourself by Eminem
0:18:04 > 0:18:05Jo, how far away is it?
0:18:07 > 0:18:10So, I would imagine that we've got about another five minutes.
0:18:12 > 0:18:15Today we're visiting a slate mine.
0:18:15 > 0:18:18- Are you looking forward to it?- No!
0:18:18 > 0:18:21But we won't be walking down the 40-metre quarry -
0:18:21 > 0:18:23we'll be abseiling.
0:18:23 > 0:18:25Whoa!
0:18:25 > 0:18:27I don't like it but I need to take a photo.
0:18:31 > 0:18:34How long are the ropes?
0:18:34 > 0:18:35There's plenty, Harry.
0:18:35 > 0:18:38All you need is a rope to touch the floor. You'll be fine.
0:18:38 > 0:18:42So, step into all three loops, and then pick up the big waistband.
0:18:43 > 0:18:45Excited but anxious.
0:18:45 > 0:18:47I think it is just that concept of knowing, at any point,
0:18:47 > 0:18:49you could just fall,
0:18:49 > 0:18:50and that scares me.
0:18:51 > 0:18:54And I'm not the only one who feels scared.
0:18:54 > 0:18:57I'm a little bit nervous,
0:18:57 > 0:18:58but I'll just get it over and done with.
0:18:58 > 0:18:59Good.
0:18:59 > 0:19:02I've got a massive fear of heights.
0:19:02 > 0:19:04I think it's a little voice in the back of my head
0:19:04 > 0:19:06saying that something will go wrong
0:19:06 > 0:19:08and, like, the rope will snap,
0:19:08 > 0:19:12but I've got to, like, try and keep that voice quiet,
0:19:12 > 0:19:15and just crack on and do it.
0:19:15 > 0:19:17When it's your turn, just trust yourself.
0:19:17 > 0:19:19You need to be able to lean back.
0:19:19 > 0:19:23So, weight onto the rope, feet wide apart,
0:19:23 > 0:19:27feet flat against the rock, and then feed the rope out bit by bit.
0:19:30 > 0:19:32I'm really scared.
0:19:32 > 0:19:33Tell my mum I love her.
0:19:35 > 0:19:37I can't do this.
0:19:37 > 0:19:38I can't...
0:19:38 > 0:19:40So, lean back. Lean back a little bit further.
0:19:40 > 0:19:43- ELLIE BREATHES DEEPLY What if I fall?- You won't.
0:19:43 > 0:19:44- You're not going to. - How do you know?
0:19:44 > 0:19:45Cos I know.
0:19:45 > 0:19:47I can't.
0:19:47 > 0:19:49- Yeah? - I'm scared I'm just going to...
0:19:49 > 0:19:51- You won't, you won't.- OK.
0:19:51 > 0:19:53Go on. A bit of trust, a bit of trust. There you go.
0:19:53 > 0:19:56Keep leaning back. The further you lean back, the easier it becomes.
0:19:56 > 0:19:59- I know that sounds a really strange concept.- I can't...
0:19:59 > 0:20:03That's it. That's it. That's it, perfect.
0:20:03 > 0:20:05ELLIE SHRIEKS
0:20:05 > 0:20:08Aaargh!
0:20:08 > 0:20:10I'm just going to pull the black rope.
0:20:10 > 0:20:11Ellie?
0:20:13 > 0:20:16Oh, I can't. I need to get back up.
0:20:16 > 0:20:19- I can't do it.- All you need to do is put your knees against the wall
0:20:19 > 0:20:21and just push yourself away. Come on.
0:20:21 > 0:20:23- All right, all right. - Look at me.
0:20:23 > 0:20:24Yeah!
0:20:24 > 0:20:26- There we go.- Well done, Ellie!
0:20:26 > 0:20:27- There we go.- Brilliant!
0:20:30 > 0:20:31Oh, God.
0:20:33 > 0:20:35Just keep coming.
0:20:37 > 0:20:39I'm still shaking.
0:20:39 > 0:20:41That was just amazing.
0:20:44 > 0:20:46Just careful you don't slip here, now.
0:20:46 > 0:20:48Is this Michael? It is Michael.
0:20:50 > 0:20:53He hasn't fallen yet, so he's doing better than I did.
0:20:54 > 0:20:55That's it, perfect!
0:20:56 > 0:21:00Gosh, that was... You were incredible!
0:21:00 > 0:21:04Michael and Henry had no trouble getting down the 40-metre drop.
0:21:04 > 0:21:06Harry is the last to go.
0:21:06 > 0:21:07How are you feeling?
0:21:07 > 0:21:10I'm well nervous.
0:21:12 > 0:21:14OK, hold that black rope right down behind your bum,
0:21:14 > 0:21:16and then lean back for me.
0:21:16 > 0:21:19- HARRY BREATHES DEEPLY - Let the rope takes the weight.
0:21:19 > 0:21:20Come on, Harry, you can do this.
0:21:20 > 0:21:22Just take...take a breather.
0:21:22 > 0:21:24- HARRY PANTS - Yup.
0:21:24 > 0:21:26It's all in the head. It's all in the mind.
0:21:26 > 0:21:28So, just stay calm, yeah? A few deep breaths.
0:21:28 > 0:21:30I don't like this. I don't like this.
0:21:30 > 0:21:32Yeah, it's about stepping outside your comfort zone
0:21:32 > 0:21:34and giving yourself a challenge.
0:21:34 > 0:21:36This is your challenge. You can do this.
0:21:36 > 0:21:38You can do this. Believe in yourself.
0:21:38 > 0:21:40HARRY BREATHES DEEPLY
0:21:40 > 0:21:43That's. Feet flat, really good.
0:21:43 > 0:21:44You're doing really well!
0:21:44 > 0:21:47Keep coming. Good.
0:21:47 > 0:21:49Really good. Really good. Wow.
0:21:49 > 0:21:52You're doing really good, Harry. Well done.
0:21:52 > 0:21:54HARRY PANTS
0:21:56 > 0:22:00Keep coming. Keep coming.
0:22:00 > 0:22:03Woohoo!
0:22:03 > 0:22:04Congratulations, Harry.
0:22:04 > 0:22:06That was really good, Harry.
0:22:08 > 0:22:13We all completed the challenge, and this time we worked as a team.
0:22:18 > 0:22:21Tomorrow, unfortunately, we're going to have to pack up.
0:22:21 > 0:22:23Tonight's our last night,
0:22:23 > 0:22:26and Jo has asked us to do one final group session.
0:22:26 > 0:22:31I want you to really think hard about something that you know that
0:22:31 > 0:22:35really, really holds you back, OK?
0:22:35 > 0:22:37Michael...
0:22:37 > 0:22:42I think, for you, it is to not to shut down,
0:22:42 > 0:22:47because I think that shutting down actually is very painful for you,
0:22:47 > 0:22:51and I think you've got so much to give and offer and learn and grow,
0:22:51 > 0:22:55and just catch that lovely person and bring it back.
0:22:55 > 0:22:57OK?
0:22:57 > 0:22:59Ellie...
0:22:59 > 0:23:01- #- Dun-da-run-dun-dun!- #
0:23:01 > 0:23:05Just remember that you are strong
0:23:05 > 0:23:08and able to ask for help.
0:23:09 > 0:23:13When you put this in the fire and it bursts into flames,
0:23:13 > 0:23:16it is gone and it's a part of ourselves that we really, really
0:23:16 > 0:23:18don't want to carry on with, OK?
0:23:44 > 0:23:47Thank you, guys. You guys are very special.
0:23:59 > 0:24:03Convert the mixed numbers to improper fractions.
0:24:03 > 0:24:06So, if I remember correctly, it's five times four
0:24:06 > 0:24:07- and then add the one.- Yeah.
0:24:07 > 0:24:10It's been over a month since we got back,
0:24:10 > 0:24:13and quite a lot has changed for me.
0:24:13 > 0:24:17I can minus, times, divide and add,
0:24:17 > 0:24:20but it's literally just when it's in sections that I get confused.
0:24:21 > 0:24:24For the next few months, I'll be having mentoring here at my house.
0:24:24 > 0:24:27I will be revising my bottom off -
0:24:27 > 0:24:30just working the best that I can.
0:24:30 > 0:24:31Let's do this one first.
0:24:31 > 0:24:35So, what do you have to times it by to get it to 20?
0:24:35 > 0:24:39In May, I'm hoping I'll get a B in Maths and English,
0:24:39 > 0:24:40which seem really simple,
0:24:40 > 0:24:42but, for a girl that's been out of education for
0:24:42 > 0:24:46roughly a year and a half, it's very difficult.
0:24:46 > 0:24:48But I am confident that I can do it.
0:24:49 > 0:24:514, 8, 12, 16, 5...
0:24:51 > 0:24:52Yeah, that's right. Yeah.
0:24:52 > 0:24:55The trail has really helped me.
0:24:55 > 0:24:57It's given me more confidence in myself
0:24:57 > 0:24:59and helped me to deal with my depression.
0:25:00 > 0:25:02I hate mixed numbers!
0:25:03 > 0:25:05And I'm not the only one challenging myself.
0:25:09 > 0:25:12I'm just packing up my drums cos it's my first proper gig tonight,
0:25:12 > 0:25:15so I'm really excited for it.
0:25:15 > 0:25:17I can't wait to get there and get set up.
0:25:18 > 0:25:20Yeah, and before I went on the trail,
0:25:20 > 0:25:22I don't think I would have been able to do this.
0:25:22 > 0:25:24I was wound up, like, pretty much every day.
0:25:24 > 0:25:26Right now I just, kind of, think about some of
0:25:26 > 0:25:28the things that Jo said to me, and it helps me not to feel nervous
0:25:28 > 0:25:30about these kind of things.
0:25:30 > 0:25:32I feel a lot more confident now.
0:25:37 > 0:25:38That's everything.
0:25:41 > 0:25:43It's a big night for Michael,
0:25:43 > 0:25:46and Jo, Harry and I can't wait to see him play.
0:25:46 > 0:25:48A one, two, three, four.
0:25:57 > 0:26:00# I want to know
0:26:00 > 0:26:03# Have you ever seen the rain?
0:26:05 > 0:26:08# I want to know
0:26:08 > 0:26:13# Have you ever seen the rain? #
0:26:13 > 0:26:16I'm, like, really proud of myself. I didn't think I'd be able to do it.
0:26:16 > 0:26:18Seeing people that were on the trail
0:26:18 > 0:26:21with me, like, being there as well,
0:26:21 > 0:26:22I was really, really happy.
0:26:22 > 0:26:23I was so excited about it.
0:26:23 > 0:26:25I definitely think
0:26:25 > 0:26:28being on the trail helped with that.
0:26:28 > 0:26:30It made me a lot more confident,
0:26:30 > 0:26:31and I'm really happy that I did it.
0:26:31 > 0:26:32I'm buzzing.
0:26:38 > 0:26:40CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:26:50 > 0:26:52I'm so proud of Michael.
0:26:52 > 0:26:54That was sick. It was so good.
0:26:54 > 0:26:56- You were brilliant!- Thank you.
0:26:56 > 0:26:58And I'm proud of myself, too.
0:26:58 > 0:27:01I guess I found out who I am as a person, really,
0:27:01 > 0:27:03but not really for myself.
0:27:03 > 0:27:05Other people, kind of, figured it out for me,
0:27:05 > 0:27:07but, however I got there,
0:27:07 > 0:27:11one way or another I know who I am, and what I want in life, and...
0:27:13 > 0:27:14..what I'm proud of.
0:27:14 > 0:27:17And it doesn't really matter how I identified who I am,
0:27:17 > 0:27:21it just matters that now I identify with Ellie, as Ellie.
0:27:21 > 0:27:24MUSIC: Have You Ever Seen The Rain? by Creedence Clearwater Revival
0:27:24 > 0:27:27# I want to know
0:27:27 > 0:27:33# Have you ever seen the rain?
0:27:33 > 0:27:35# I want to know
0:27:35 > 0:27:41# Have you ever seen the rain
0:27:41 > 0:27:45# Comin' down on a sunny day? #