0:00:02 > 0:00:04I'm Josh, I'm 14 and I love playing hockey.
0:00:07 > 0:00:10I'm just like you, except for one thing -
0:00:10 > 0:00:13I've got a mental health problem.
0:00:13 > 0:00:15Mental health is big news right now.
0:00:15 > 0:00:17Everyone's talking about it.
0:00:17 > 0:00:19- Mental health...- Mental health...
0:00:19 > 0:00:20Mental health...
0:00:20 > 0:00:24Newspapers, celebrities,
0:00:24 > 0:00:26politicians, even royalty.
0:00:26 > 0:00:29It's OK to suffer, but as long as you talk about it.
0:00:29 > 0:00:31So, you'd think it would be easy for me,
0:00:31 > 0:00:33and thousands of children like me,
0:00:33 > 0:00:34to open up about our problems.
0:00:34 > 0:00:37It's not.
0:00:37 > 0:00:40I didn't tell anyone how I was feeling for over a year,
0:00:40 > 0:00:41and things got pretty bad.
0:00:42 > 0:00:45Now, I want to find out why it's so hard to talk about
0:00:45 > 0:00:48mental health problems, and what's being done to make it better.
0:00:50 > 0:00:53This is Inside My Head - A Newsround Special.
0:00:56 > 0:00:59I know what it's like to feel all alone,
0:00:59 > 0:01:01and that you can't talk about mental health problems.
0:01:01 > 0:01:03I couldn't tell anyone how I was feeling,
0:01:03 > 0:01:06because I didn't know what was happening to me.
0:01:06 > 0:01:10I DON'T want any of you to go through what I did.
0:01:10 > 0:01:12That's why I'm making this film,
0:01:12 > 0:01:15to find out how we can make it easier to talk about mental health.
0:01:18 > 0:01:22We all stress about stuff, get sad, angry and worried at times.
0:01:22 > 0:01:25That's normal. But for people with mental health problems,
0:01:25 > 0:01:27these feelings don't go away,
0:01:27 > 0:01:30and begin to affect our lives in all sorts of ways.
0:01:34 > 0:01:36If you break your arm or catch a cold,
0:01:36 > 0:01:38everyone can see you're poorly.
0:01:38 > 0:01:40It's obvious.
0:01:41 > 0:01:43But mental health problems are much harder to spot,
0:01:43 > 0:01:46because they start up here, inside our heads,
0:01:46 > 0:01:49and affect how we think, feel, our behaviour,
0:01:49 > 0:01:51and how we cope with things.
0:01:51 > 0:01:53They can affect anyone, at any time.
0:01:56 > 0:01:59Mine is called OCD - obsessive-compulsive disorder.
0:02:07 > 0:02:10When I was 11, I started to worry about bad things happening,
0:02:10 > 0:02:14and the only thing that made me feel better was washing my hands.
0:02:17 > 0:02:19I'd wash them all the time.
0:02:20 > 0:02:23I didn't think anything was wrong, I just thought I was a bit odd.
0:02:27 > 0:02:30I found myself needing to write every three lines,
0:02:30 > 0:02:33and certain numbers really freaked me out.
0:02:34 > 0:02:37People at school noticed and asked me what I was doing.
0:02:37 > 0:02:39I couldn't explain to them,
0:02:39 > 0:02:42because I didn't understand what was happening to me.
0:02:44 > 0:02:46I felt embarrassed.
0:02:48 > 0:02:50Things went from bad to worse.
0:02:59 > 0:03:02I was obsessed about objects being in the right place in my bedroom.
0:03:07 > 0:03:09Even pieces of rubbish.
0:03:10 > 0:03:14I'd check my room over and over again to make sure nothing moved.
0:03:16 > 0:03:19It was taking longer and longer to do my routine.
0:03:22 > 0:03:24It spread through the house
0:03:24 > 0:03:26and I had to do specific things in different rooms.
0:03:28 > 0:03:31Even my body was affected.
0:03:31 > 0:03:35I suddenly developed a fear of looking at my feet,
0:03:35 > 0:03:38and wore my trainers until they fell apart.
0:03:40 > 0:03:43It felt like I had two voices inside my head -
0:03:43 > 0:03:47the one that said, "You don't need to do these things,"
0:03:47 > 0:03:50and the louder, OCD voice, that was shouting, "Do it,
0:03:50 > 0:03:52"or terrible things will happen."
0:03:58 > 0:04:00I was really paranoid.
0:04:00 > 0:04:02I thought I was going mad.
0:04:03 > 0:04:06The one place I felt safe was on the hockey pitch.
0:04:10 > 0:04:11It was like OCD couldn't touch me.
0:04:15 > 0:04:17Even if it was taking me hours to get there.
0:04:27 > 0:04:30After almost two years of feeling like this,
0:04:30 > 0:04:32I was really struggling to cope.
0:04:32 > 0:04:35I couldn't do all the normal things that I loved doing.
0:04:35 > 0:04:39I knew I had to do something and I decided to tell my dad.
0:04:41 > 0:04:43So, that morning that I came in to see you,
0:04:43 > 0:04:45what made you tell me that morning?
0:04:45 > 0:04:47Things had been getting increasingly worse,
0:04:47 > 0:04:49and I couldn't, sort of, handle the stress,
0:04:49 > 0:04:51and I almost got pushed to breaking point
0:04:51 > 0:04:53and I felt I had to tell someone.
0:04:53 > 0:04:54When I started telling you...
0:04:56 > 0:04:58..I just kept going,
0:04:58 > 0:05:00because it did make me feel so much better,
0:05:00 > 0:05:04and you want to get as much off your chest as possible,
0:05:04 > 0:05:07and it's just a whole weight off your shoulders.
0:05:07 > 0:05:10What were you most worried about before you told me?
0:05:10 > 0:05:12There is a worry how people will react,
0:05:12 > 0:05:16and there is that fear that no matter how well you know someone,
0:05:16 > 0:05:20how close you are to someone, that...
0:05:20 > 0:05:26they won't understand and you tell them and they will shut you down.
0:05:26 > 0:05:28I was so worried that if that was the case,
0:05:28 > 0:05:32I would get to the stage where I would never feel better,
0:05:32 > 0:05:35and that I would be on my own for the rest of my life.
0:05:35 > 0:05:40And because the problem was getting worse, so worried that there was...
0:05:40 > 0:05:42That it would never get better.
0:05:43 > 0:05:46Because you don't want to face it alone, it's such a big problem,
0:05:46 > 0:05:48you can't handle it on your own.
0:05:48 > 0:05:50I couldn't handle it on my own, that's why I told you.
0:05:50 > 0:05:53So, were you worried that if you told someone
0:05:53 > 0:05:56and they didn't help you, you'd be more isolated?
0:05:56 > 0:05:57- Yes.- I guess you thought
0:05:57 > 0:06:00that you were the only person in the world with that.
0:06:00 > 0:06:02Yeah. You have to build up the confidence to do it,
0:06:02 > 0:06:04and it can be quite intimidating,
0:06:04 > 0:06:07the thought of telling someone that you think you're going mad,
0:06:07 > 0:06:11or something's wrong, but what I don't think many people realise
0:06:11 > 0:06:13is the fact that...
0:06:14 > 0:06:17..telling someone is only ever going to make the problem better,
0:06:17 > 0:06:18not worse.
0:06:18 > 0:06:20And it was so important that you did tell me,
0:06:20 > 0:06:24because although there were ups and downs afterwards,
0:06:24 > 0:06:26that probably was the moment where you...
0:06:26 > 0:06:27- It's always good... - ..started to get better.
0:06:27 > 0:06:30..to have someone to talk to, because the moment you, sort of,
0:06:30 > 0:06:33let it all out, the moment you start to fully understand yourself,
0:06:33 > 0:06:35what you're going through.
0:06:35 > 0:06:36I think, and I guess,
0:06:36 > 0:06:39that having to keep it to yourself probably made it a lot worse.
0:06:39 > 0:06:41- It made it a lot worse. - Is that what it did for you?
0:06:41 > 0:06:45- Yeah.- It was always a lot worse when we didn't speak.
0:06:45 > 0:06:47- Yeah.- And we kept things in.
0:06:47 > 0:06:49That was harder.
0:06:49 > 0:06:51That was a lot harder.
0:06:53 > 0:06:55'My mental health problem didn't just affect me,
0:06:55 > 0:07:00'it affected everyone close to me, especially my big brother Sam.'
0:07:00 > 0:07:01What was it like when you first knew
0:07:01 > 0:07:04that I was suffering with a mental health issue?
0:07:04 > 0:07:07I think at first it was hard to understand,
0:07:07 > 0:07:10because I don't think you knew fully what was going on.
0:07:10 > 0:07:13- No.- And I certainly didn't.
0:07:13 > 0:07:16And I think that was the hardest thing, because...
0:07:16 > 0:07:20not being able to communicate properly
0:07:20 > 0:07:23about the problem meant that a lot of times,
0:07:23 > 0:07:26we got frustrated at each other,
0:07:26 > 0:07:29and frustrated over an issue which you couldn't control.
0:07:29 > 0:07:31- Mm.- But then I couldn't try and help you,
0:07:31 > 0:07:35because we didn't know what it was, and it's something
0:07:35 > 0:07:37which isn't very easily fixable.
0:07:37 > 0:07:40'Having the support of family and friends is so important when you're
0:07:40 > 0:07:43'dealing with a mental health problem.
0:07:43 > 0:07:46'My best friend Jamie was brilliant when I told her.'
0:07:46 > 0:07:49Did you first notice that something was wrong before I told you?
0:07:49 > 0:07:53Yeah, I would say, like, in our classes at school,
0:07:53 > 0:07:57when you got stressed, and you were often looking at the clock,
0:07:57 > 0:08:00you had your little head shake thing, and like,
0:08:00 > 0:08:03I, kind of, like, knew something was up, but I kind of accepted it as
0:08:03 > 0:08:05something that was going on with you.
0:08:05 > 0:08:08I was really worried at the time that you would judge me
0:08:08 > 0:08:11and not want to be my friend any more
0:08:11 > 0:08:15and think that I was a complete weirdo when I told you.
0:08:15 > 0:08:16Oh, that was never going to happen.
0:08:16 > 0:08:20I guess I just didn't really see it as something that we could ever,
0:08:20 > 0:08:22- like, fall out about.- Yeah. So, you didn't judge me or think...
0:08:22 > 0:08:24I didn't judge, no.
0:08:24 > 0:08:26"..I'm not hanging around with this guy who looks at clocks"?
0:08:26 > 0:08:28No! Nothing like that, no.
0:08:29 > 0:08:33One in ten young people in the UK has a mental health problem.
0:08:33 > 0:08:36That's around three kids in every classroom.
0:08:38 > 0:08:42And one person who knows just what this is like is Lucy.
0:08:42 > 0:08:44During my time, I've heard a lot of things.
0:08:44 > 0:08:47However, something that really stood out to me was that
0:08:47 > 0:08:50I didn't look like I should have a mental health illness.
0:08:50 > 0:08:51This made me quite angry.
0:08:51 > 0:08:55I've come to meet her to find out how she's using her experience
0:08:55 > 0:08:59of mental health problems to change people's attitudes for the better.
0:08:59 > 0:09:02So, I was fully aware that I was suffering from depression
0:09:02 > 0:09:05and anxiety, and I accepted it, however hideous it was.
0:09:05 > 0:09:08One part of me was incapable of caring for myself.
0:09:08 > 0:09:12I couldn't eat, I couldn't wash, I couldn't function at all.
0:09:13 > 0:09:16Tell me a little bit about your story, what you've been through.
0:09:16 > 0:09:20Erm, so, I've suffered with depression and anxiety
0:09:20 > 0:09:23since I was about 14 years old.
0:09:23 > 0:09:26Depression is basically feeling really, really, really sad.
0:09:26 > 0:09:29You feel very worthless, you feel helpless.
0:09:29 > 0:09:32It stops you from doing what you want to do.
0:09:32 > 0:09:36Anxiety is feeling extremely nervous, worrying,
0:09:36 > 0:09:39for an extensive period of time, really.
0:09:39 > 0:09:41What made you want to decide to come into schools
0:09:41 > 0:09:44and share your story with other children?
0:09:44 > 0:09:46I think there's a lot of misconception
0:09:46 > 0:09:49around mental health problems, a lot of stigma and discrimination.
0:09:49 > 0:09:52So, I feel like it's my responsibility to come in
0:09:52 > 0:09:54and help educate young people,
0:09:54 > 0:09:57give them the facts about what mental health is,
0:09:57 > 0:09:59so that they can have a better understanding.
0:09:59 > 0:10:01Can you explain what stigma is?
0:10:01 > 0:10:04Yeah, stigma is having these negative attitudes towards people,
0:10:04 > 0:10:06say, with a mental health illness.
0:10:06 > 0:10:10And the word discrimination is when we act on this stigma.
0:10:10 > 0:10:15So, we might leave someone out, we might not be friends with someone,
0:10:15 > 0:10:16and treat them differently.
0:10:16 > 0:10:19And that might prevent young people from going into school,
0:10:19 > 0:10:22going to university, getting a job,
0:10:22 > 0:10:25it might make them feel quite isolated.
0:10:25 > 0:10:26So, we really need to change these things,
0:10:26 > 0:10:30so that young people can go out and reach their potential and do
0:10:30 > 0:10:32everything that they've set out to do.
0:10:35 > 0:10:38Any of you shocked or even surprised about what you heard today?
0:10:38 > 0:10:44I was shocked that one in ten people can get mental health issues.
0:10:44 > 0:10:48And I was basically shocked that lots of people are discriminated,
0:10:48 > 0:10:49like, 90%.
0:10:49 > 0:10:52Is it surprising that you find out that people like me
0:10:52 > 0:10:54and Lucy have mental health disorders?
0:10:54 > 0:10:57It is quite surprising, because when we see you now,
0:10:57 > 0:11:00you're all really confident, so we couldn't really imagine it of you.
0:11:00 > 0:11:04But when we hear your back story and how it affected you,
0:11:04 > 0:11:07you can understand it better.
0:11:07 > 0:11:09'With the help of people like Lucy,
0:11:09 > 0:11:13'attitudes to mental health are slowly changing for the better.
0:11:13 > 0:11:15'Adults are becoming more aware of what children like us
0:11:15 > 0:11:19'are going through, and politicians are sitting up and taking notice.'
0:11:21 > 0:11:23There's still a long way to go,
0:11:23 > 0:11:25but the Prime Minister has promised more help for children
0:11:25 > 0:11:27with mental health problems.
0:11:31 > 0:11:33One person who's already making a difference
0:11:33 > 0:11:38to the lives of young people is Dr Radha from The Surgery on Radio 1.
0:11:38 > 0:11:41She believes getting help early is key.
0:11:41 > 0:11:43If you're worried about your mental health,
0:11:43 > 0:11:45then there are loads of people who can help.
0:11:45 > 0:11:48So, the best thing to do first is to tell an adult that you trust.
0:11:48 > 0:11:52That might be your mum, your dad, an aunt or uncle.
0:11:52 > 0:11:55It might be a teacher or a school nurse, for example.
0:11:55 > 0:11:57Or even your family doctor.
0:11:57 > 0:12:01But also there are loads of other confidential helplines
0:12:01 > 0:12:03from charities that can help you.
0:12:03 > 0:12:06The most important thing to do is to seek help and to ask someone,
0:12:06 > 0:12:09and tell someone how you're feeling as soon as you can.
0:12:13 > 0:12:16'I've learnt from experience that you can't solve mental health
0:12:16 > 0:12:18'problems by yourself.
0:12:18 > 0:12:20'They're complicated, difficult things
0:12:20 > 0:12:22'that can make you feel like you're going mad.
0:12:24 > 0:12:27'I know how scary that can be.
0:12:27 > 0:12:29'But telling someone really can change your life.
0:12:31 > 0:12:35'When I told my dad, it was the best thing I ever did.
0:12:35 > 0:12:37'He helped me to get the support I needed,
0:12:37 > 0:12:39'and now I'm in control of my mental health.
0:12:41 > 0:12:43'And life has pretty much gone back to normal.
0:12:45 > 0:12:48'Even though it's been a long journey for all of us.'
0:12:50 > 0:12:54Sometimes you can believe, and you can think in your own mind, that,
0:12:54 > 0:12:56I'm a completely different person,
0:12:56 > 0:12:59because I felt like someone had entered my head,
0:12:59 > 0:13:02and was pulling bits apart and changing all the wires around,
0:13:02 > 0:13:04and wiring things up differently.
0:13:04 > 0:13:07But it's important to remember that it doesn't change who you are.
0:13:09 > 0:13:11Even when you're having difficulties,
0:13:11 > 0:13:14- you're still the same person. - Yeah.
0:13:14 > 0:13:18And I've always been really proud of the person you are.
0:13:22 > 0:13:25'I wish now that I'd said something sooner.
0:13:25 > 0:13:27'I don't want any of you to go through what I did.
0:13:33 > 0:13:38'So, please, if you're worried about how you're feeling - sad, angry,
0:13:38 > 0:13:41'lonely, anxious, down - tell someone.
0:13:41 > 0:13:44'There's loads of help out there, and trust me,
0:13:44 > 0:13:46'things really can get better.'