My Autism and Me

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0:00:02 > 0:00:04My name is Rosie.

0:00:04 > 0:00:07I live with my mum, my dad,

0:00:07 > 0:00:09my brother and my sister.

0:00:11 > 0:00:15And one day, I want to be a world-famous actress.

0:00:15 > 0:00:18I also have autism, which means my brain works differently.

0:00:18 > 0:00:21'I'm going to take you into my world.'

0:00:21 > 0:00:24Imagination!

0:00:24 > 0:00:28'Show you how autism affects kids in all sorts of different ways.'

0:00:28 > 0:00:31- Out of here!- I'm not a logical person, as you may know.

0:00:31 > 0:00:35I want to be different, I asked to be different, I am different.

0:00:35 > 0:00:38'But however it affects you, it doesn't have to hold you back.'

0:00:38 > 0:00:43So stick with me and find out what it really means to be autistic.

0:00:49 > 0:00:53The kind of autism I have is called Asperger's syndrome.

0:00:53 > 0:00:57And sometimes it makes me see things a little bit differently.

0:00:57 > 0:00:59I get very sensitive.

0:00:59 > 0:01:03And...I can't control it.

0:01:03 > 0:01:07Sometimes it's a bad thing because all the other kids are laughing

0:01:07 > 0:01:11when I'm just crying and screaming at things that they're not.

0:01:11 > 0:01:14Every single thing, even things that aren't living,

0:01:14 > 0:01:19has a personality and a life.

0:01:19 > 0:01:22If there's two pairs of shoes and I pick one,

0:01:22 > 0:01:26I feel like the other pair would feel left out or something

0:01:26 > 0:01:29I don't like saying certain words because

0:01:29 > 0:01:33they just make me feel all tense and unhappy.

0:01:33 > 0:01:35A lot of people with autism have that.

0:01:35 > 0:01:38Sometimes it mixes your senses up a little bit.

0:01:38 > 0:01:40I can feel words.

0:01:40 > 0:01:43I used to describe a word as being slimy or prickly

0:01:43 > 0:01:47because that's what it tasted or...

0:01:47 > 0:01:49or felt when I said it.

0:01:49 > 0:01:51Or when other people said it.

0:01:51 > 0:01:54A lot of people don't have much understanding about it.

0:01:54 > 0:01:56They don't mean to be mean,

0:01:56 > 0:02:01but it does hurt my feelings because of my sensitivity.

0:02:01 > 0:02:03So, what exactly is autism?

0:02:03 > 0:02:06People with autism have problems relating to others

0:02:06 > 0:02:08and making sense of the world around them.

0:02:08 > 0:02:11Scientists know it affects the way the brain works,

0:02:11 > 0:02:14but they don't know what causes it.

0:02:14 > 0:02:17Boys are much more likely to be autistic than girls.

0:02:17 > 0:02:19And it can run in families.

0:02:19 > 0:02:21Autism isn't rare.

0:02:21 > 0:02:23One in a hundred people is autistic

0:02:23 > 0:02:27and it comes in all shapes and sizes.

0:02:27 > 0:02:29I get very stressed in crowds.

0:02:29 > 0:02:31Um, I have anxiety issues.

0:02:31 > 0:02:34I'm sometimes easily distracted.

0:02:34 > 0:02:36Easily annoyed.

0:02:36 > 0:02:39It's a bit difficult for me, er,

0:02:39 > 0:02:42with, er, conversation.

0:02:42 > 0:02:46I need to try and think very hard about it.

0:02:46 > 0:02:48If someone does touch me, I say,

0:02:48 > 0:02:50"Can you please not do that again?"

0:02:50 > 0:02:54I sort of feel sometimes like people try to hurt me.

0:02:54 > 0:02:57It feels, er...

0:02:57 > 0:03:01er...uncomfortable

0:03:01 > 0:03:05when, er, when people is crowded.

0:03:05 > 0:03:08I'm not really normal, but I...

0:03:08 > 0:03:10It's kind of...

0:03:10 > 0:03:13I can't describe it. Sorry, I can't really describe it.

0:03:14 > 0:03:16Although it can be a problem,

0:03:16 > 0:03:19I wouldn't swap my autism for anything.

0:03:19 > 0:03:22It makes me who I am. I just wouldn't be the same without it.

0:03:22 > 0:03:25For instance, I think it gives me my imagination.

0:03:26 > 0:03:29FIREWORKS FIZZ

0:03:29 > 0:03:33It gives me my incredible skill at remembering impressive facts.

0:03:33 > 0:03:36The inventor of the waffle iron didn't like waffles.

0:03:36 > 0:03:39Spain literally means, a land of rabbits.

0:03:39 > 0:03:42Some people might call my obsession with facts boring.

0:03:42 > 0:03:44I call it focus.

0:03:44 > 0:03:47And I'm not the only autistic person who thinks like this.

0:03:50 > 0:03:53Tony's autism expresses itself with major obsessions.

0:03:53 > 0:03:57At the moment, it's a role-playing game called Warhammer,

0:03:57 > 0:03:59with loads of complicated rules.

0:03:59 > 0:04:03And having clear rules about everything makes Tony feel good.

0:04:05 > 0:04:07Remember, I've got the objective so far.

0:04:07 > 0:04:11Because I'm within three inches of the building.

0:04:11 > 0:04:13Most people, when they do a hobby,

0:04:13 > 0:04:17they normally do it for a period of maybe a year or two.

0:04:17 > 0:04:20We do it for nearly a decade.

0:04:20 > 0:04:24Lots of autistic people like to get interested in...

0:04:24 > 0:04:26a hobby.

0:04:26 > 0:04:31And that is what Tony is like with Warhammer.

0:04:31 > 0:04:33He absolutely loves it.

0:04:33 > 0:04:38Its a strategy board game including little plastic miniatures

0:04:38 > 0:04:41you have to build and paint and then you get to play with them.

0:04:41 > 0:04:44It's really epically fun!

0:04:44 > 0:04:46Green for the skin!

0:04:46 > 0:04:50He's really good at painting. He's really good at building.

0:04:50 > 0:04:52That's all he likes to do.

0:04:52 > 0:04:54I get four attacks each.

0:04:54 > 0:04:59On the charge. Which is...awesome!

0:05:01 > 0:05:04Some autistic people like to know

0:05:04 > 0:05:06everything about a subject.

0:05:06 > 0:05:12And Tony knows all of the rules about Warhammer.

0:05:12 > 0:05:14Complicated and hard.

0:05:14 > 0:05:17Basically, the troop moves six inches...

0:05:17 > 0:05:20SPEECH OVERLAPS

0:05:28 > 0:05:31If he doesn't know all the rules, he can't play.

0:05:31 > 0:05:37And if he can't play, he gets really, well, really angry.

0:05:37 > 0:05:41Normally, when I'm playing a game, I don't talk. I think. I plan.

0:05:41 > 0:05:45I'm working, I'm plotting. It's really fun.

0:05:45 > 0:05:48If you're organising stuff,

0:05:48 > 0:05:50I organise stuff because otherwise,

0:05:50 > 0:05:53everything will be out of order and hectic.

0:05:53 > 0:05:57I colour-code all my models to make sure they're not mixed up.

0:05:57 > 0:06:02I also keep special units separate from the core units.

0:06:02 > 0:06:04They have to be in the same box, the same place.

0:06:04 > 0:06:07I just want everything to be organised.

0:06:07 > 0:06:12If you drop something and put it back where it could belong,

0:06:12 > 0:06:15he'll know because he'll just measure it.

0:06:15 > 0:06:18What are you doing putting it there? Don't put it there.

0:06:18 > 0:06:21You put it next... No, you put it, you put it.... Yeah, here.

0:06:23 > 0:06:29Tony finds it hard to make friends because...

0:06:29 > 0:06:30he, he can't...

0:06:30 > 0:06:35He doesn't really know how to say to people,

0:06:35 > 0:06:38"Can you be my friend?"

0:06:38 > 0:06:4222, 23, 24. Three.

0:06:42 > 0:06:45Can I borrow...three dice?

0:06:45 > 0:06:49The reason I don't have any friends is because

0:06:49 > 0:06:51my friends are little plastic miniatures

0:06:51 > 0:06:54and I'm just an anti-personnel magnet.

0:06:54 > 0:06:57I feel like models, they can't talk, they can't move,

0:06:57 > 0:06:59they can't do anything.

0:06:59 > 0:07:01But they keep me company.

0:07:01 > 0:07:04I just don't feel lonely with them around.

0:07:04 > 0:07:08I am perfectly normal. Everyone else is weird.

0:07:08 > 0:07:11The entire world's weird. I'm fine.

0:07:11 > 0:07:13Like many children with autism,

0:07:13 > 0:07:15Tony doesn't find it easy to socialise.

0:07:15 > 0:07:19But his hobby has helped him to make friends.

0:07:21 > 0:07:23There are lots of different types of autism.

0:07:23 > 0:07:26Some people, like me, have a much milder type.

0:07:26 > 0:07:28But others have a much more severe sort.

0:07:28 > 0:07:31And one of them is my little brother.

0:07:31 > 0:07:33HE JABBERS

0:07:36 > 0:07:37This is Lenny.

0:07:37 > 0:07:40He has classic autism.

0:07:40 > 0:07:43Even though he's nine years old, he can't really talk,

0:07:43 > 0:07:48and we think that, um, he won't have much independence

0:07:48 > 0:07:51and he'll be looked after all his life.

0:07:51 > 0:07:54At the moment, Lenny is nesting on the TV.

0:07:54 > 0:07:56He grabs the throws from the sofa,

0:07:56 > 0:07:59stuffs them down there and then sits on them,

0:07:59 > 0:08:02eating "gogurts", which is yoghurts.

0:08:03 > 0:08:06He likes things in certain places.

0:08:06 > 0:08:10He puts all the throws behind the TV, he turns the sofas over.

0:08:12 > 0:08:15He fills the bathroom with bubbles. He likes it that way.

0:08:15 > 0:08:19But we don't, and we don't see why he likes it that way.

0:08:19 > 0:08:21- Hiya, Lenny. - HE MUMBLES

0:08:21 > 0:08:27He feels really stressed if the doors aren't shut.

0:08:29 > 0:08:32He got up out of the bath!

0:08:32 > 0:08:36He can sense the doors being open!

0:08:39 > 0:08:41Right, back to the bath now.

0:08:41 > 0:08:44A lack of understanding can be a real difficulty

0:08:44 > 0:08:46because Lenny looks completely normal.

0:08:46 > 0:08:49And there's only his behaviour that gives a clue

0:08:49 > 0:08:52to the fact that he has a disability.

0:08:54 > 0:08:58It can often seem like a child's being naughty or throwing a tantrum,

0:08:58 > 0:09:01when, in fact, they're reacting to some kind of stimulus

0:09:01 > 0:09:05or they're unhappy and they're unable to express their needs.

0:09:05 > 0:09:09The best thing about my little brother is absolutely everything.

0:09:09 > 0:09:13Look at him! He's absolutely brilliant!

0:09:15 > 0:09:18Because it's not always obvious that people have autism,

0:09:18 > 0:09:21some people think we're mad or being naughty.

0:09:21 > 0:09:23This lack of understanding is one of the worse things

0:09:23 > 0:09:26about being autistic.

0:09:29 > 0:09:30My name is Ben.

0:09:30 > 0:09:34I was bullied because people didn't understand I had autism.

0:09:34 > 0:09:37Autism, to me, enlarges all of your emotions.

0:09:37 > 0:09:40It makes them a lot more potent.

0:09:40 > 0:09:42For me, it made my anger a lot bigger.

0:09:42 > 0:09:46When I completely lost it, I would sort of lose my vision.

0:09:46 > 0:09:49I'd be able to hear, but I wouldn't see.

0:09:49 > 0:09:51I'd be seeing red, you might say.

0:09:51 > 0:09:53The next thing I knew, I'd be informed by somebody

0:09:53 > 0:09:56that I attacked somebody or done some damage.

0:09:56 > 0:09:59Have you heard of Viking Berserkers? I'm twice the trouble of them.

0:09:59 > 0:10:02People figured I had an anger problem.

0:10:02 > 0:10:04They continuously taunted me, going at me,

0:10:04 > 0:10:06most of them called me a bear.

0:10:06 > 0:10:08I was feared, I was hated.

0:10:08 > 0:10:11It wasn't fun. It wasn't fun at all.

0:10:12 > 0:10:17Imagine going to school everyday and not having a single friend.

0:10:17 > 0:10:19I was depressed. I didn't enjoy life.

0:10:19 > 0:10:21I'd realised it wasn't going to get better.

0:10:21 > 0:10:23I was very desperate for help.

0:10:23 > 0:10:26I didn't want to live. I actually did not want to live.

0:10:35 > 0:10:39When I started at this school, I didn't go to many lessons.

0:10:39 > 0:10:43I was too afraid. After a while, I started to get more confidence

0:10:43 > 0:10:45and I came down with support from the LSU.

0:10:45 > 0:10:50LSU stands for Learning Support Unit and it has really helped my life.

0:10:50 > 0:10:53If you are worried or panicked or something bad happens,

0:10:53 > 0:10:56I can always go straight up there

0:10:56 > 0:10:59and attack a pillow or something to get my anger out.

0:10:59 > 0:11:00Amongst all the chaos,

0:11:00 > 0:11:03you'll find sanctuary in the unit if you're autistic.

0:11:03 > 0:11:07Just having some support has helped with everything else.

0:11:07 > 0:11:09It's made me more confident, made me calmer,

0:11:09 > 0:11:12and now, I am able to go down

0:11:12 > 0:11:15to nearly any lesson given without any support.

0:11:15 > 0:11:19I've become more sociable. I've learnt more about the outside world

0:11:19 > 0:11:21than just looking out of the window.

0:11:21 > 0:11:24I've got more to talk about. I can relate to more.

0:11:24 > 0:11:27I used to think that every time I got near somebody,

0:11:27 > 0:11:29they would call the cops on me.

0:11:29 > 0:11:31I've got friends now.

0:11:31 > 0:11:36Ben, I find, an interesting person, in fact.

0:11:36 > 0:11:37And quite entertaining.

0:11:37 > 0:11:42He sees things differently, so he brings different points of view

0:11:42 > 0:11:44that you wouldn't necessarily think of.

0:11:44 > 0:11:46I'd probably say funny,

0:11:46 > 0:11:50quite serious, as well, sometimes.

0:11:50 > 0:11:52I think they think I'm fairly OK.

0:11:52 > 0:11:55Someone to watch out for,

0:11:55 > 0:11:57but still...fairly OK.

0:11:57 > 0:12:01Clever, occasionally funny and a bit mad.

0:12:01 > 0:12:04But I'm quite happy to be called that.

0:12:04 > 0:12:07I'm just happy to have friends.

0:12:07 > 0:12:10Ben is one of half-a-million people with autism in the UK.

0:12:10 > 0:12:14And like him, many of them have a difficult time.

0:12:14 > 0:12:17Nearly three is every four children with autism

0:12:17 > 0:12:20feel unhappy and anxious about things.

0:12:20 > 0:12:22It's not because they're autistic,

0:12:22 > 0:12:25it's because they're not getting the support they need.

0:12:25 > 0:12:28Things don't get much better when we get older.

0:12:28 > 0:12:31In fact, only one in every six people with autism

0:12:31 > 0:12:33end up with a full-time paid job.

0:12:35 > 0:12:39When I grow up, I want to be a famous actress,

0:12:39 > 0:12:41hairdresser, Dalek.

0:12:41 > 0:12:45And I don't see why my autism should stop me.

0:12:48 > 0:12:52Just because I'm autistic doesn't mean I can't succeed.

0:12:52 > 0:12:56Last year, my drawings were published in a book my mum wrote.

0:12:56 > 0:13:00I did nearly 20 illustrations, and this one's my favourite.

0:13:00 > 0:13:04Lots of people wanted to know about the book and my drawings.

0:13:04 > 0:13:07I even appeared on The One Show to talk about it.

0:13:07 > 0:13:12I sat next to Robson Green and chatted with the presenters.

0:13:12 > 0:13:16- And great illustrations.- Yeah. You drew the pictures.- Thanks.

0:13:16 > 0:13:18I made this film because I wanted to tell the world

0:13:18 > 0:13:21about how many autistic kids get bullied at school

0:13:21 > 0:13:26and can have a really tough time getting jobs when they're older.

0:13:26 > 0:13:31I wanted everyone to see close up what it's like to live with autism.

0:13:31 > 0:13:35And I hope you've enjoyed meeting Tony, Ben, Lenny and me.

0:13:35 > 0:13:38Autistic kids can come across as a bit different.

0:13:38 > 0:13:40But it's well worth getting to know us.

0:13:40 > 0:13:44Living with autism can be hard sometimes, but it makes me who I am.

0:13:46 > 0:13:50Autism makes me different, but it also makes me unique and special.

0:13:51 > 0:13:53# I'm beautiful in my way

0:13:53 > 0:13:55# Cos God makes no mistakes

0:13:55 > 0:13:58# I'm on the right track, baby I was born this way

0:13:58 > 0:14:00# Don't hide yourself in regret

0:14:00 > 0:14:02# Just love yourself and you're set

0:14:02 > 0:14:06# I'm on the right track, baby I was born this way

0:14:06 > 0:14:08# I was born this way, hey

0:14:08 > 0:14:11# I was born this way, hey...#

0:14:11 > 0:14:13Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd