Swap the Teacher

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0:00:02 > 0:00:05There's something really odd going on at our school.

0:00:07 > 0:00:09From the head dressing up as an old lady...

0:00:10 > 0:00:14..to the history teacher looking like Florence Nightingale.

0:00:14 > 0:00:17And when there's something strange in your neighbourhood,

0:00:17 > 0:00:18who you gonna call?

0:00:19 > 0:00:21Maths Man.

0:00:21 > 0:00:24Welcome to Our School.

0:00:24 > 0:00:26BELL RINGS

0:00:26 > 0:00:29Meet our new year seven.

0:00:29 > 0:00:30Sick bucket!

0:00:30 > 0:00:33It's the most important school year of their life so far.

0:00:33 > 0:00:35Haircut, sir?

0:00:35 > 0:00:37They're all starting here together.

0:00:37 > 0:00:40That level of noise is absolutely disgusting.

0:00:47 > 0:00:48Yes!

0:00:51 > 0:00:53This has seen better days.

0:00:55 > 0:00:56You stink, sir.

0:00:59 > 0:01:02CBBC have filled the entire place with cameras so you'll

0:01:02 > 0:01:05get to watch year seven every step of the way.

0:01:06 > 0:01:09- Stop waving at me.- Yeah!

0:01:09 > 0:01:10Hello, I'm Mr Jones.

0:01:10 > 0:01:13I'm a maths teacher at Our School, and every time that you're here,

0:01:13 > 0:01:15I'm going to be here, too.

0:01:15 > 0:01:16Right now, I'm late for a lesson.

0:01:16 > 0:01:17Excuse me.

0:01:19 > 0:01:21Come on in.

0:01:21 > 0:01:22# Our school. #

0:01:22 > 0:01:24Boom. Mic drop.

0:01:24 > 0:01:26BELL RINGS

0:01:26 > 0:01:29Year sevens come in all different shapes and sizes,

0:01:29 > 0:01:32but some are more eye-catching than others.

0:01:35 > 0:01:39Tristan is known in school for his creative hairstyles.

0:01:39 > 0:01:42First, go like from blue, to red and blue.

0:01:42 > 0:01:44Now, it's yellow.

0:01:44 > 0:01:45Not just yellow,

0:01:45 > 0:01:48his latest hair-raising style has got everyone talking.

0:01:50 > 0:01:52LAUGHTER

0:01:52 > 0:01:55Like, he like shaved all of this and he like made it like...

0:01:55 > 0:02:00- A Mohawk.- Yeah, it looked really cool, but I wouldn't do it.

0:02:00 > 0:02:03It looks like a duck, like, a duck's hair.

0:02:03 > 0:02:05Look, look, look!

0:02:05 > 0:02:09It just makes me who I want to be cos, with natural hair,

0:02:09 > 0:02:12you just look like every other person.

0:02:12 > 0:02:15Tristan, can you come with me, please?

0:02:15 > 0:02:19But it looks like this time he may have taken it a step too far.

0:02:20 > 0:02:23It doesn't... It doesn't look right on Tristan.

0:02:23 > 0:02:26He's just had blue and red hair. That looks right.

0:02:26 > 0:02:30But the yellow, spiky, that doesn't look right on Tristan.

0:02:30 > 0:02:34- Right then, good morning, young man. - Good morning.

0:02:34 > 0:02:37Strength in diversity, that's part of our school's motto, isn't it,

0:02:37 > 0:02:39yeah, which means variety.

0:02:39 > 0:02:42And we've certainly got a variety of haircuts in school, now we've added

0:02:42 > 0:02:45this one. The first time we've ever had someone turned up with

0:02:45 > 0:02:47a mohican, and the thing when things happen for the first time,

0:02:47 > 0:02:50it makes you think. It makes you question, doesn't it, all right?

0:02:50 > 0:02:54So, why have you got a bright yellow mohican is a question I've never had

0:02:54 > 0:02:57to ask in all my years here, but today it's the one I'm asking you.

0:02:57 > 0:03:00It turns out Tristan's new look is for charity.

0:03:00 > 0:03:03- My friend's dying of bone cancer...- Mmhmm.

0:03:03 > 0:03:06..and I asked if I could dye my hair yellow for him,

0:03:06 > 0:03:08cos his favourite colour's yellow.

0:03:08 > 0:03:11Hopefully, Mr Jones will be happy with that.

0:03:11 > 0:03:13We're going to put one of these uniform pass lanyards around you.

0:03:13 > 0:03:15And I think what we need to put is...

0:03:16 > 0:03:19..charity fundraising, or something like this, OK?

0:03:19 > 0:03:22It's a nice thing that you're doing. Quite a statement, all right?

0:03:22 > 0:03:23- Cheers, miss.- All right.

0:03:23 > 0:03:26Putting yourself out for charity is a good thing,

0:03:26 > 0:03:29and Tristan's hair is one of his best features.

0:03:29 > 0:03:32But what do the rest of year seven think is their best feature?

0:03:34 > 0:03:36My best feature is everything.

0:03:36 > 0:03:37Everything is useful in a way.

0:03:37 > 0:03:41My eyes to see, my neck to move around my head...

0:03:41 > 0:03:43It doesn't matter what's on the outside.

0:03:43 > 0:03:44It's like in the inside.

0:03:44 > 0:03:46Yeah, but you can't see my inside, can you?

0:03:46 > 0:03:50Well, I like my eyes, cos it attracts...

0:03:51 > 0:03:53..the girlies.

0:03:53 > 0:03:56- Look at the size of my hands. - Holy Moley! What?

0:03:56 > 0:03:58Look at the size of my hands.

0:03:58 > 0:04:00I think your best feature's your hair.

0:04:00 > 0:04:02THEY LAUGH

0:04:04 > 0:04:06My best feature is my hair, because I'm...

0:04:06 > 0:04:07I put it off to the side.

0:04:07 > 0:04:11I think Salma's best feature is chubby cheeks.

0:04:11 > 0:04:12What?!

0:04:12 > 0:04:16George has got nowt, but complete bed hair.

0:04:16 > 0:04:17I like it, it's soft.

0:04:17 > 0:04:19I like it when I can do that, cos it feels soft.

0:04:19 > 0:04:24My nose is to help me smell. My mouth is to help me talk and eat.

0:04:24 > 0:04:26THEY LAUGH

0:04:26 > 0:04:28See how it feels, you know? You look cute.

0:04:28 > 0:04:30- No, I don't.- Yes, you do! - No, I don't!

0:04:30 > 0:04:32I think Michael's best feature is his afro,

0:04:32 > 0:04:34because he can just press the whole thing down,

0:04:34 > 0:04:37and it just sticks back up.

0:04:37 > 0:04:38Look!

0:04:45 > 0:04:48Why are you dressed like that?

0:04:48 > 0:04:49You have to be in school uniform.

0:04:49 > 0:04:50- You don't.- Yes, you do.

0:04:50 > 0:04:53Have you ever had one of them dreams where you turn up to school without

0:04:53 > 0:04:55your uniform on?

0:04:55 > 0:04:58It looks like Tristan's dreaming right now.

0:04:58 > 0:05:00It was Fundraising Friday, weren't it?

0:05:00 > 0:05:03Oh, yes, it's...

0:05:03 > 0:05:04Thank goodness for that!

0:05:04 > 0:05:08A day dedicated to raising money for the school charity,

0:05:08 > 0:05:10the Memusi Foundation in Kenya.

0:05:12 > 0:05:14Today, literally anything could happen.

0:05:15 > 0:05:16See what I mean?

0:05:18 > 0:05:20I'm just a bit worried about your mouth.

0:05:20 > 0:05:22When we initially launched the fundraising ideas with

0:05:22 > 0:05:26the year group, a student randomly just suggested that

0:05:26 > 0:05:27I shave my beard.

0:05:28 > 0:05:30And that was one step too far for me,

0:05:30 > 0:05:35so I stupidly accommodated the idea of dying my beard instead.

0:05:35 > 0:05:37Think I've done quite a good job, actually.

0:05:40 > 0:05:43It's a big pink thing on his face.

0:05:43 > 0:05:45- You need a mirror. - There's one there, just there.

0:05:45 > 0:05:46I've got a mirror. Stay there.

0:05:46 > 0:05:48That's only dye spray.

0:05:48 > 0:05:51Why couldn't he have permanently...

0:05:51 > 0:05:52Oh!

0:05:52 > 0:05:55He actually looked nice with the beard.

0:05:55 > 0:05:58He should've kept the beard, but his wife would kill him.

0:06:00 > 0:06:04And Mr Shabir's not the only one looking silly for charity.

0:06:04 > 0:06:06Very awkward, wearing a dress, isn't it?

0:06:06 > 0:06:07I wouldn't recommend it.

0:06:07 > 0:06:10- Sir, I like your dress. - Thank you. Thank you.

0:06:12 > 0:06:15- It's for charity. - It's all a bit weird, really.

0:06:15 > 0:06:16Everyone is acting... Strange.

0:06:16 > 0:06:18Just for charity, girls. It's just for charity.

0:06:18 > 0:06:22- I've not gone mad.- If ever there was a time that a school needed a

0:06:22 > 0:06:24superhero to take charge...

0:06:24 > 0:06:25HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

0:06:25 > 0:06:26..it's today.

0:06:28 > 0:06:32Do you ever get the feeling that things don't quite add up?

0:06:33 > 0:06:37That difficulties in class subtract from having a good day?

0:06:37 > 0:06:42Do you feel in two minds, and have to divide your time between lessons?

0:06:42 > 0:06:44Are your worries multiplying?

0:06:44 > 0:06:50Well, for the solution to all these problems, you can count on...

0:06:51 > 0:06:53..Maths Man.

0:07:00 > 0:07:02Woo!

0:07:07 > 0:07:09# Oh, oh, Maths Man! #

0:07:13 > 0:07:16- He's a clever maths teacher. - He can solve any equation.

0:07:20 > 0:07:21Maths Man.

0:07:26 > 0:07:28The origin of Maths Man came around

0:07:28 > 0:07:30when I found a rogue calculator lying

0:07:30 > 0:07:33around in a drawer and it electrocuted me,

0:07:33 > 0:07:36and since then, all I see are numbers.

0:07:36 > 0:07:40Maths Man's heard a rumour that teachers are going to be swapping

0:07:40 > 0:07:42classes for the day.

0:07:42 > 0:07:44Right, let's get started.

0:07:44 > 0:07:45Miss, are you a science teacher?

0:07:45 > 0:07:48- I am now.- Ridiculous!

0:07:48 > 0:07:50It is a burden being Maths Man.

0:07:50 > 0:07:53With great numbers comes great responsibility.

0:07:53 > 0:07:57Who can keep the school safe on a day like this?

0:07:57 > 0:07:58You do the math...

0:07:58 > 0:08:00No, no, no, wait, I'LL do the math.

0:08:02 > 0:08:05You! Five plus five.

0:08:05 > 0:08:07- Ten.- Correct.

0:08:07 > 0:08:08Keep doing maths.

0:08:08 > 0:08:10If people here need Maths Man, all you do,

0:08:10 > 0:08:14you raise the Maths Man sign, and I will find you.

0:08:19 > 0:08:20Algebra?

0:08:20 > 0:08:22I shall alge-BREAK you.

0:08:24 > 0:08:25What happened there?

0:08:26 > 0:08:29I'm not very good at being a science teacher.

0:08:29 > 0:08:30For teacher swap,

0:08:30 > 0:08:35Mrs Black is ditching her history books for the biology lab.

0:08:35 > 0:08:38Go on, Fareed, you were telling me about the owl.

0:08:38 > 0:08:39It's nocturnal, er...

0:08:39 > 0:08:42Nocturnal? What does that word mean? That's a good word.

0:08:42 > 0:08:44It means it only comes out at night.

0:08:44 > 0:08:45Only comes out at night.

0:08:45 > 0:08:47I think I'd like to be nocturnal.

0:08:47 > 0:08:49Put your hands up if you think daylight should be banned.

0:08:49 > 0:08:51I definitely do.

0:08:51 > 0:08:54OK, let's see if we're ready to burn some stuff.

0:08:54 > 0:08:58She's like in the middle of the lesson and she's like, wait...

0:08:58 > 0:08:59Magnesium.

0:08:59 > 0:09:02Science was actually my favourite topic at school,

0:09:02 > 0:09:04because I loved the experiments.

0:09:04 > 0:09:08And I really wanted to do a really cracking experiment with explosions

0:09:08 > 0:09:11so that the children would be like, wow, that's awesome.

0:09:11 > 0:09:13You try, Morgan, you try.

0:09:13 > 0:09:15Watch, Miss. Watch how quick...

0:09:15 > 0:09:17In and out, in and out. Waft it, waft it.

0:09:19 > 0:09:20THEY CHEER

0:09:20 > 0:09:23It fizzled, but it wasn't the big explosion I was hoping for.

0:09:23 > 0:09:25So, I was a little bit disappointed.

0:09:25 > 0:09:26Has a penguin got gills?

0:09:27 > 0:09:29I don't think so.

0:09:29 > 0:09:31Penguins are mammals. I know that much.

0:09:31 > 0:09:37Mrs Black didn't even know if a penguin was a mammal

0:09:37 > 0:09:38or a bird.

0:09:39 > 0:09:42A bird is a mammal.

0:09:42 > 0:09:44Penguins... Are penguins mammals?

0:09:44 > 0:09:47- Yes.- Doesn't matter. - But they're born from eggs.

0:09:47 > 0:09:50- So they've got gills?- I'm not sure.

0:09:50 > 0:09:52Is a penguin...

0:09:54 > 0:09:55..a bird?

0:09:56 > 0:09:59- It's not a bird.- Ain't it?

0:09:59 > 0:10:01It's a mammal.

0:10:01 > 0:10:04- We're a mammal.- That's a bird, because it can fly.

0:10:04 > 0:10:07A bird... No, penguins cannot fly.

0:10:07 > 0:10:09- They don't go like that, do they? - Penguins can fly.

0:10:09 > 0:10:10- No, they can't.- They can!

0:10:10 > 0:10:12- No, they can't.- They can!

0:10:12 > 0:10:13They flap their wings.

0:10:13 > 0:10:16Yes, Wayne, that's because they ARE a bird.

0:10:16 > 0:10:19It looks so easy, teaching science, it's not.

0:10:19 > 0:10:25Meanwhile, geography teacher Mr Webb is apparently teaching English.

0:10:25 > 0:10:26- Sir...- What are the Himalayas?

0:10:26 > 0:10:29- Go on?- Mountains. - Mountains, brilliant.

0:10:29 > 0:10:31They are mountains. One mountain in particular...

0:10:31 > 0:10:33- Mount Everest. - Mount Everest, brilliant.

0:10:33 > 0:10:35In the Himalayas...

0:10:35 > 0:10:38He kept going on about Mount Everest in an English lesson.

0:10:38 > 0:10:40Geography is meant for the geography classroom,

0:10:40 > 0:10:42not the English classroom.

0:10:42 > 0:10:45I thought this was English, sir.

0:10:45 > 0:10:48But hold on, hold on. We haven't got to the English bit yet.

0:10:48 > 0:10:51Really, it was a geography lesson in disguise.

0:10:51 > 0:10:54I think quite soon the kids picked up on that,

0:10:54 > 0:10:58and felt like they'd been swindled.

0:10:58 > 0:10:59So, as I'm reading,

0:10:59 > 0:11:02if you want to rest your head on the desk or close your eyes or whatever

0:11:02 > 0:11:04that's going to keep you focused, that's absolutely fine.

0:11:04 > 0:11:08The South Col is a vast rocky area the size of four rugby pitches,

0:11:08 > 0:11:11strewn with the remnants of old expeditions that have been here.

0:11:11 > 0:11:14Ah, so he's reading about geography.

0:11:14 > 0:11:18That's clever. More like English...

0:11:18 > 0:11:20Go figure.

0:11:20 > 0:11:23Their bodies lay within metres of the flat area, many of them now...

0:11:23 > 0:11:28Mr Webb, I think your geography-English hybrid lesson

0:11:28 > 0:11:29is not working.

0:11:29 > 0:11:31The children are falling asleep.

0:11:31 > 0:11:32You miscalculated.

0:11:32 > 0:11:35The last few yards to their tent, and disappeared.

0:11:35 > 0:11:37They disappeared?

0:11:37 > 0:11:38Into their tents.

0:11:38 > 0:11:40I think I got away with it.

0:11:42 > 0:11:45I think I just couldn't resist teaching them more geography,

0:11:45 > 0:11:47to be honest. I just love it.

0:11:51 > 0:11:53I've got YOUR number.

0:11:55 > 0:12:00Maths Man is always on patrol, searching out bad maths.

0:12:00 > 0:12:02I've got a good maths.

0:12:02 > 0:12:06I'm in your lessons quite often, Ben, and you do not have good maths.

0:12:06 > 0:12:09My favourite sum is four plus three equals seven.

0:12:09 > 0:12:12I love it that much I got it engraved on my mask.

0:12:12 > 0:12:15Are you late for a birthday party, Sir?

0:12:15 > 0:12:17I'm available all the time.

0:12:17 > 0:12:19Whenever there is bad maths happening.

0:12:19 > 0:12:20THEY LAUGH

0:12:20 > 0:12:22I know who Maths Man's secret identity is,

0:12:22 > 0:12:25but I can't tell you, cos it's secret.

0:12:25 > 0:12:26Cos if I tell you the secret identity,

0:12:26 > 0:12:29it won't be a secret identity anymore, would it?

0:12:29 > 0:12:33I've heard that it could actually be someone that goes to our school,

0:12:33 > 0:12:36but I'm not quite sure yet.

0:12:36 > 0:12:39People trying to think, who is Maths Man?

0:12:39 > 0:12:42- Come on, guys. - Of course we know!

0:12:42 > 0:12:43It's Mr...

0:12:43 > 0:12:46Whoa there! That's enough, Wayne.

0:12:46 > 0:12:48Whilst Maths Man's on patrol,

0:12:48 > 0:12:52dance teacher Miss Mills is in charge of year seven maths.

0:12:53 > 0:12:55She's got big shoes to fill.

0:12:55 > 0:12:59Like Maths Man, Mr Jones is a 12, and she's only a size five.

0:12:59 > 0:13:01Hello, Mrs Jones.

0:13:01 > 0:13:03Hello. I'm not Mrs Jones.

0:13:03 > 0:13:06Sit down! I'm teaching you maths.

0:13:06 > 0:13:08She's teaching us maths.

0:13:08 > 0:13:10OK, right. It's a bit confusing, yes.

0:13:10 > 0:13:14I am your dance teacher, OK, and yes, I'm teaching you maths today.

0:13:14 > 0:13:17In dance, when do we use maths, OK?

0:13:17 > 0:13:19Put your hands up.

0:13:19 > 0:13:21- Timing.- Timing.

0:13:21 > 0:13:23She was explaining everything in dance terms.

0:13:23 > 0:13:26OK, what do we need to keep time with?

0:13:26 > 0:13:29- What is it?- The beat.- The beat.

0:13:29 > 0:13:31Music! Good boy, Roman.

0:13:31 > 0:13:34Right, so, and in time with the beat. OK?

0:13:34 > 0:13:39Miss Mills was trying to get the dance into maths.

0:13:39 > 0:13:42- Which never worked... - No, it never worked at all.

0:13:42 > 0:13:45What's that key word? It begins with R.

0:13:45 > 0:13:47Rhythm.

0:13:47 > 0:13:51Good boy, rhythm. OK, right, now, I want you to open your books...

0:13:51 > 0:13:53Wayne, Wayne.

0:13:53 > 0:13:55Miss Mills had quite a big challenge on her hands,

0:13:55 > 0:13:58cos we are a really loud class.

0:13:58 > 0:14:00Excuse me!

0:14:00 > 0:14:02I've got one person that's finished.

0:14:02 > 0:14:04If you've finished, then you can talk.

0:14:04 > 0:14:05But you haven't finished, have you?

0:14:05 > 0:14:07Wayne, you haven't even started.

0:14:07 > 0:14:09- Yes, I have!- Get on with it.

0:14:09 > 0:14:11I'm thinking, Miss.

0:14:11 > 0:14:12You aren't thinking. You are talking.

0:14:12 > 0:14:14I'm thinking about talking.

0:14:14 > 0:14:17If I was a teacher, I'd let my class do whatever they wanted.

0:14:17 > 0:14:20Maths Man is impressed.

0:14:20 > 0:14:24Miss Mills is treating maths with the respect it deserves.

0:14:25 > 0:14:27I'm surprised I didn't fall asleep.

0:14:27 > 0:14:31It's equals the same by the same, OK, but we can't just put a number

0:14:31 > 0:14:34down, can we? Because we don't know what it is.

0:14:34 > 0:14:36THEY GIGGLE

0:14:36 > 0:14:38Someone needs Maths Man's help.

0:14:40 > 0:14:41THEY CHEER

0:14:44 > 0:14:47When Maths Man walks in a room, you get awe.

0:14:47 > 0:14:49BOTH: Awe!

0:14:49 > 0:14:50Boy!

0:14:50 > 0:14:51What's ten times six?

0:14:51 > 0:14:54Maths Man asks the questions, not you.

0:14:54 > 0:14:55THEY LAUGH

0:14:56 > 0:14:59Hands off the calculators.

0:14:59 > 0:15:00I hate negative numbers.

0:15:00 > 0:15:05Negative numbers confuse the children, and this angers Maths Man.

0:15:05 > 0:15:09Word around is you're struggling with your maths.

0:15:09 > 0:15:10I need you to help with it.

0:15:10 > 0:15:13Maths Man says you will listen to Miss and you will help.

0:15:14 > 0:15:16With unruly children,

0:15:16 > 0:15:20Maths Man takes them out of the classroom and reduces them to zero.

0:15:20 > 0:15:24Use the calculator to destroy the world.

0:15:24 > 0:15:25This is my secret weapon, a calculator.

0:15:25 > 0:15:28And then everyone is going to be like, what are you going to do?

0:15:28 > 0:15:30Like, do your times tables?

0:15:30 > 0:15:32The people are mocking Maths Man.

0:15:32 > 0:15:35His shoes didn't even match with his outfit.

0:15:35 > 0:15:38- Yeah, should have just worn blue socks.- Slippers.

0:15:38 > 0:15:41- Blue socks.- Blue shoes.

0:15:41 > 0:15:43Where are you going to get blue shoes from?

0:15:43 > 0:15:46Remember, brackets means multiplication.

0:15:46 > 0:15:51Two times P, gives me 2P.

0:15:51 > 0:15:54I do not need to pee, it is just 2P.

0:15:54 > 0:15:56I've just realised something terrifying.

0:15:56 > 0:16:02If Miss Mills is teaching maths, who is teaching dance?

0:16:02 > 0:16:04This lesson, you have the pleasure...

0:16:05 > 0:16:08..of having me as your dance teacher.

0:16:08 > 0:16:09ALL: Yeah!

0:16:09 > 0:16:13I like dancing, but completely out of my comfort zone.

0:16:13 > 0:16:18I need an eight beat dance with you and a partner.

0:16:18 > 0:16:22So, it might even be like one, two, three, four.

0:16:22 > 0:16:23I don't know. Five.

0:16:23 > 0:16:27So, I wanted to sort of show the kids what I've got basically.

0:16:27 > 0:16:29I wanted to show them that I'm not just this science teacher.

0:16:29 > 0:16:32MUSIC: Livin' la Vida Loca by Ricky Martin

0:16:34 > 0:16:36He was like this.

0:16:36 > 0:16:39- Yeah!- It was so funny.- Yeah.

0:16:39 > 0:16:42MUSIC: Livin' la Vida Loca by Ricky Martin

0:16:42 > 0:16:43He was like really good, actually.

0:16:43 > 0:16:46One, two, three, four, five.

0:16:49 > 0:16:53It was quite weird, because we were actually having fun.

0:16:57 > 0:17:01I think the hardest part was motivating them to do dance.

0:17:01 > 0:17:04It's just tiring getting the kids,

0:17:04 > 0:17:07getting the pupils to actually do what you want them to do.

0:17:07 > 0:17:10One, two, three, four, five, six.

0:17:10 > 0:17:11At least you've done eight steps.

0:17:11 > 0:17:12That's easy, right?

0:17:13 > 0:17:17I'm not asking for anything crazy like spins on the knees and stuff.

0:17:17 > 0:17:19I'm not asking for any of that.

0:17:19 > 0:17:22Let's try again. Let's try again.

0:17:22 > 0:17:26Mr Shaw has finally got most of the class dancing.

0:17:26 > 0:17:29Alojz has been quiet, but he can't hold those dance moves

0:17:29 > 0:17:31in any longer.

0:17:32 > 0:17:34I did it. I'm moving!

0:17:34 > 0:17:37I thought Alojz's dancing was really, really good.

0:17:37 > 0:17:40I had no idea of his sort of dance background.

0:17:43 > 0:17:45Obviously, it really gave him a chance to express himself.

0:17:45 > 0:17:48It was the first time I saw him come out of his shell.

0:17:48 > 0:17:50MUSIC: Tik Tok by Kesha

0:17:50 > 0:17:51Yeah!

0:17:56 > 0:17:59Mr Shaw's the best teacher ever.

0:17:59 > 0:18:01Same.

0:18:01 > 0:18:02Right.

0:18:03 > 0:18:04I didn't know you could dance.

0:18:04 > 0:18:06Yeah, I do have... I know how to dance.

0:18:06 > 0:18:08You know how to dance? So, why are you so shy about it?

0:18:08 > 0:18:11Some people when they see... Some people, they'll laugh.

0:18:12 > 0:18:14But you should show them, cos some people might look at you and

0:18:14 > 0:18:16go, he can't dance. You CAN dance.

0:18:16 > 0:18:18You should just stop being so scared about it.

0:18:18 > 0:18:20I've seen all this and this.

0:18:20 > 0:18:23- Like...- Right, I've got an idea.

0:18:23 > 0:18:25You don't have to say yes.

0:18:25 > 0:18:29Some of the people in year seven, OK, are doing a show

0:18:29 > 0:18:31called Strictly Come Dancing,

0:18:31 > 0:18:34and we've got about three or four weeks to practice now, OK?

0:18:34 > 0:18:38You don't have to do it, but I think you'd be great.

0:18:38 > 0:18:41I think there'd be people who look on and go, I wish I could do that.

0:18:41 > 0:18:44Cos you're good! So, have a think about it.

0:18:44 > 0:18:48You don't have to say yes or no, but I didn't know you could dance.

0:18:48 > 0:18:50I even didn't know that you can.

0:18:50 > 0:18:53Exactly, it's surprising, right?

0:18:53 > 0:18:56Don't you want to see all the looks on people's faces when you come out

0:18:56 > 0:18:58on stage and you blow them away?

0:18:58 > 0:18:59They'd be like, boom.

0:18:59 > 0:19:01Wow, this kid can actually dance.

0:19:01 > 0:19:05He's brilliant. And I'm so happy that I was able to persuade him to

0:19:05 > 0:19:07take part. Going to be brave?

0:19:07 > 0:19:08Yeah.

0:19:09 > 0:19:12Nice. Give me five. Right, let's go sort it, yeah?

0:19:12 > 0:19:14I absolutely... So proud of him.

0:19:22 > 0:19:26I subtract evil from the world, and multiply it by good.

0:19:26 > 0:19:31Maths Man was just about to fly home for some pie when he heard a number

0:19:31 > 0:19:35of children causing a commotion in the school hall.

0:19:36 > 0:19:38CHEERING

0:19:38 > 0:19:42An assembly such as this has never been witnessed before.

0:19:42 > 0:19:44THEY GASP

0:19:44 > 0:19:46Let me remind ourselves, it's Friday,

0:19:46 > 0:19:48but what kind of Friday is it today?

0:19:48 > 0:19:51ALL: Fundraising Friday!

0:19:51 > 0:19:54I need to make sure that the neighbours across the road complain

0:19:54 > 0:19:55it's too noisy. What day is it?

0:19:55 > 0:19:59ALL: Fundraising Friday!

0:19:59 > 0:20:00Exactly.

0:20:00 > 0:20:03Today's assembly was probably the best assembly I've ever had in this

0:20:03 > 0:20:05school, because it was really funny.

0:20:05 > 0:20:08Let's just see what people are doing before we get into things.

0:20:08 > 0:20:10We have Tristina, sorry, Tristan.

0:20:10 > 0:20:12Stand up. Dressed up as a girl.

0:20:12 > 0:20:13A round of applause for Tristan.

0:20:13 > 0:20:15CHEERING

0:20:18 > 0:20:23We have some boys who are due to have their hair lived up.

0:20:25 > 0:20:30And then he came up with like a hair dye in sprays, and then he started

0:20:30 > 0:20:32putting it on some people's heads, including mine.

0:20:37 > 0:20:38Can you see the pinks?

0:20:38 > 0:20:41The highlight of this assembly will be a rap battle.

0:20:41 > 0:20:44This equals fun.

0:20:44 > 0:20:48Kayden plus Javonte have been giving rap lessons to teachers.

0:20:48 > 0:20:50# The word proffer me it's a figure,

0:20:50 > 0:20:53# Get your sums right and your brain gets bigger. #

0:20:53 > 0:20:55Mr Jones's rap adds up to me.

0:20:55 > 0:20:58I bet he'll take it to infinity.

0:20:58 > 0:21:01Let battle commence!

0:21:01 > 0:21:03So, can we have our first member of staff?

0:21:03 > 0:21:07First up, maths teacher, Mr Jones.

0:21:07 > 0:21:08But he's nowhere to be seen.

0:21:08 > 0:21:11So, we're waiting around, you know, backstage, ready,

0:21:11 > 0:21:12with all the other teachers.

0:21:12 > 0:21:15We're looking around, where's maths teacher Mr Jones?

0:21:15 > 0:21:17I must rap in his place.

0:21:18 > 0:21:22And then this mysterious character walks in, supposedly Maths Man.

0:21:25 > 0:21:27Time for me to stand up and be counted.

0:21:29 > 0:21:33Maths teacher, he was dressed up as a superhero with

0:21:33 > 0:21:36calculators there...

0:21:36 > 0:21:39..called Maths Man.

0:21:39 > 0:21:40Really?

0:21:40 > 0:21:43He got onto the stage, and he was like pulling Superman poses.

0:21:43 > 0:21:45Everyone was just cheering.

0:21:45 > 0:21:46I thought his costume was really funny.

0:21:46 > 0:21:49Our next member of staff has been here before.

0:21:49 > 0:21:53As double doors open, please round of applause. Can we have Mr Webb?

0:21:53 > 0:21:55CHEERING

0:21:55 > 0:21:57Mr Webb.... I don't know what he was dressed up as,

0:21:57 > 0:22:00but he had a wig and a hat, so I guess that's something.

0:22:00 > 0:22:04Our next member of staff, the man with chunky thighs...

0:22:04 > 0:22:06..Mr Shaw!

0:22:09 > 0:22:11Miss Black!

0:22:11 > 0:22:13CHEERING

0:22:14 > 0:22:16We save the best till the last.

0:22:18 > 0:22:20Our principal, Mr Jones!

0:22:25 > 0:22:28He's like, oh, my back!

0:22:28 > 0:22:30And then he just goes like, "Ugh!"

0:22:31 > 0:22:33He might need a hand coming up... Hey!

0:22:35 > 0:22:37Athletic granny here.

0:22:37 > 0:22:40Top job. Let's get this started.

0:22:40 > 0:22:44So, Mr Shabir, is your number up?

0:22:45 > 0:22:46# You all know me

0:22:46 > 0:22:49# Mr Shabir, slick and smooth being I'm head of the year

0:22:49 > 0:22:52# You spot me round school always sharp dressed

0:22:52 > 0:22:54# Well thing about me I never get stressed

0:22:54 > 0:22:56# I'm king of IT, prince of high-tech

0:22:56 > 0:23:00#I'm the man, the legend, total respect. #

0:23:00 > 0:23:02ALL: Oh!

0:23:02 > 0:23:04Mr Shabir's rapping was...

0:23:04 > 0:23:05Questionable.

0:23:06 > 0:23:10Can Mrs Black deliver 100%?

0:23:10 > 0:23:14# My name is Mrs Black and this is my rap

0:23:14 > 0:23:16# If you lad's are too cheeky, expect a C1

0:23:16 > 0:23:18# School is your future, not just for fun

0:23:18 > 0:23:21# Listen to me, I'm happy to meet you,

0:23:21 > 0:23:23# I'm Mrs Black and I'm the history teacher.#

0:23:23 > 0:23:24ALL: Oh!

0:23:26 > 0:23:30I wasn't too keen on Miss Black's.

0:23:30 > 0:23:33I don't think Mrs Black is the most natural rapper ever.

0:23:33 > 0:23:37Miss Black's rapping skills were absolutely off the hook.

0:23:37 > 0:23:41Hm, divided opinions, Mrs Black.

0:23:41 > 0:23:44Maybe Mr Webb will square things up.

0:23:46 > 0:23:48# Hands up, here's a question, I'm looking at you

0:23:48 > 0:23:50# What on earth and what can I do?

0:23:50 > 0:23:52# To save a green planet it means so much to me

0:23:52 > 0:23:55# The world is my subject, big up geography. #

0:23:55 > 0:23:57ALL: Oh!

0:23:59 > 0:24:01Geograph-uh...

0:24:01 > 0:24:03Geography.

0:24:03 > 0:24:04Geog...

0:24:04 > 0:24:06Geography.

0:24:06 > 0:24:07Geography.

0:24:07 > 0:24:08Geography.

0:24:10 > 0:24:11Georgr- ...ugh.

0:24:12 > 0:24:13It doesn't matter. Carry on.

0:24:13 > 0:24:17I was trying to be, you know, a cool rapper.

0:24:17 > 0:24:18It didn't work.

0:24:18 > 0:24:21I liked his long hair and hat, though.

0:24:21 > 0:24:23The hair was pretty cool.

0:24:23 > 0:24:27Will science teacher Mr Shaw, go from zero to hero?

0:24:29 > 0:24:31# Yo, I'm new to the school I'm an NQT

0:24:31 > 0:24:33# That ain't a rap name that's what they call me

0:24:33 > 0:24:35# I wear a white coat I work in my lab,

0:24:35 > 0:24:37# I dissect safely...

0:24:37 > 0:24:39# And I've forgotten the words. #

0:24:39 > 0:24:41LAUGHTER

0:24:41 > 0:24:43Yeah!

0:24:46 > 0:24:49Mr Shaw's rapping on stage was OK.

0:24:49 > 0:24:52Not top-notch, because he did forget the words.

0:24:52 > 0:24:54ALL: Mr Shaw! Mr Shaw!

0:24:54 > 0:24:58He got a really good reaction, and he rapped pretty well, actually,

0:24:58 > 0:24:59you know.

0:24:59 > 0:25:02I think Maths Man will do fractionally better.

0:25:04 > 0:25:06# Straighten your ties and tuck in your shirt

0:25:06 > 0:25:08# Maths is my business it ain't got to hurt

0:25:08 > 0:25:10# I've got your number, You can add or subtract

0:25:10 > 0:25:13# Multiply, divide, you got it it's cracked

0:25:13 > 0:25:15# Get your sums right and your brain'll get bigger. #

0:25:15 > 0:25:18ALL: Oh!

0:25:18 > 0:25:20Maths Man, he was perfect.

0:25:20 > 0:25:22He was in character.

0:25:22 > 0:25:28He was doing everything like he was supposed to.

0:25:28 > 0:25:30And he didn't forget his words.

0:25:30 > 0:25:33Yeah, it's just such a shame that maths teacher Mr Jones missed it,

0:25:33 > 0:25:34cos he would have loved it.

0:25:34 > 0:25:37A Maths Man, you know, it's right up his street.

0:25:37 > 0:25:40I will let him know you enjoyed it, Mr Webb.

0:25:40 > 0:25:42And finally...

0:25:42 > 0:25:44Can we have Mr Jones to the stage.

0:25:44 > 0:25:46Gangsta ready.

0:25:47 > 0:25:49# I'm the main man here at FPA

0:25:49 > 0:25:51# Welcome to our school every day

0:25:51 > 0:25:54# You'll see me around out on patrol

0:25:54 > 0:25:56# It's a serious business I ain't taking a stroll

0:25:56 > 0:25:58# When you come here, you make loads of homies

0:25:58 > 0:26:00# Head down, work hard do something else.

0:26:00 > 0:26:02# Who knows what the last word was I revised it

0:26:02 > 0:26:05# I practised it in the car and I can't remember it.

0:26:05 > 0:26:06# But I'm just going to keep rapping

0:26:06 > 0:26:09# And we'll pretend this never happened I'll read it from

0:26:09 > 0:26:10# The page. #

0:26:10 > 0:26:11CHEERING

0:26:18 > 0:26:21Round of applause for everyone, thank you.

0:26:21 > 0:26:27ALL: Granny Jones! Granny Jones!

0:26:29 > 0:26:32He really did act like a gangster granny.

0:26:32 > 0:26:36He grabbed his glasses, took them off, threw the purse.

0:26:38 > 0:26:41- I liked Mr Jones headteacher, me. - Yeah.- Because he flung...

0:26:41 > 0:26:44Because you're at it, because you're at...

0:26:44 > 0:26:45I remember, he was like...

0:26:45 > 0:26:47He just chucked his glasses off, like...

0:26:47 > 0:26:49"I'm the main man here at FPA."

0:26:49 > 0:26:52He kind of freestyled like half the way through, and it was really cool.

0:26:52 > 0:26:53Yeah.

0:26:53 > 0:26:56Mr Jones may have won the rap battle,

0:26:56 > 0:26:59but with so much money being raised for charity,

0:26:59 > 0:27:03it seems like today everyone is a superhero.

0:27:03 > 0:27:06Never in life think about, "I'm not doing that,

0:27:06 > 0:27:08"because that might be embarrassing."

0:27:08 > 0:27:11If that thing actually is quite fun and is a great way to respectfully

0:27:11 > 0:27:14earn money for charity. So I want the biggest clap of all for these

0:27:14 > 0:27:15two, please.

0:27:19 > 0:27:21Go on then, let's go.

0:27:21 > 0:27:24It seems my work here is done.

0:27:29 > 0:27:31Oh, that were weird.

0:27:31 > 0:27:32What have I missed?

0:27:34 > 0:27:38Next time, Our School is getting down to business.

0:27:38 > 0:27:41- Let's sell, sell, sell. - Calendars for £1.

0:27:41 > 0:27:43There's five minutes left.

0:27:43 > 0:27:44Stop selling!

0:27:44 > 0:27:48Maths Man lives in a little house shaped like a pie.

0:27:51 > 0:27:53Maths Man has three small,

0:27:53 > 0:27:57very masculine dogs called, One, Two and Three.

0:27:57 > 0:27:59No maths teacher has a favourite sum.

0:28:00 > 0:28:01Maths Man wakes up,

0:28:01 > 0:28:05jumps in the Mathmobile and drives to Firth Park in a matter of

0:28:05 > 0:28:09seconds, whilst still obeying the speed limit.

0:28:09 > 0:28:10If my mum could see me now...

0:28:10 > 0:28:11LAUGHTER