0:00:23 > 0:00:25APPLAUSE
0:00:25 > 0:00:28Thank you.
0:00:28 > 0:00:30Thank you very much.
0:00:32 > 0:00:33Thank you very much indeed.
0:00:35 > 0:00:38Thank you very much, lovely to see you on this very cold night,
0:00:38 > 0:00:40but we have a great show for you.
0:00:40 > 0:00:44You have to be a certain age to remember Arthur Haynes.
0:00:44 > 0:00:48I am. Looking around, I can see most of you remember him!
0:00:48 > 0:00:50I remember him as a child,
0:00:50 > 0:00:55he was a very popular comedian, ITV's biggest comedian.
0:00:55 > 0:00:58His television show was extremely popular
0:00:58 > 0:01:01and ran for ten years in a prime-time slot.
0:01:01 > 0:01:04Let's look at him in action.
0:01:05 > 0:01:07All sat down, then?
0:01:07 > 0:01:10Well, dig in.
0:01:23 > 0:01:26I should get in if I were you before it all goes.
0:01:39 > 0:01:41What are you looking at that for?
0:01:41 > 0:01:45Actually, I was wondering what to do with it.
0:01:45 > 0:01:48LAUGHTER
0:01:51 > 0:01:53Don't you know?
0:01:54 > 0:01:56Oh, yes, rather, of course.
0:01:56 > 0:01:59Have you got a pin on you?
0:01:59 > 0:02:02You are not going to stick a pin in your winkle, are you?
0:02:05 > 0:02:07I thought that was the custom.
0:02:11 > 0:02:14- Can I give you a... - Thank you.
0:02:17 > 0:02:20They have brought out some new things, look.
0:02:27 > 0:02:29Sort that lot out.
0:02:30 > 0:02:32BANGING
0:02:36 > 0:02:38I really am getting rather concerned
0:02:38 > 0:02:40about your wife lying up there unattended.
0:02:40 > 0:02:42Oughtn't somebody to go up there?
0:02:42 > 0:02:45Get on with your winkle.
0:02:46 > 0:02:50If we went up every time she started knocking,
0:02:50 > 0:02:54we'd be up and down those stairs like yoyos.
0:02:54 > 0:02:58Oh, God, you're absolutely stunning, you know.
0:02:58 > 0:03:02It is the fifth attack she has had this week.
0:03:02 > 0:03:04Have you no idea what causes it?
0:03:04 > 0:03:07- Oh, we do.- You do. What is it?
0:03:07 > 0:03:09Gin.
0:03:10 > 0:03:11Ladies and gentlemen, Arthur Haynes
0:03:11 > 0:03:13was part of a great comedy partnership.
0:03:13 > 0:03:15Let's meet the other half now.
0:03:15 > 0:03:17Welcome to the stage, Nicholas Parsons.
0:03:17 > 0:03:20APPLAUSE
0:03:21 > 0:03:26Thank you, you are more than kind.
0:03:28 > 0:03:31Welcome.
0:03:31 > 0:03:32Take a seat.
0:03:32 > 0:03:36That is the first time you have shaken me by the hand.
0:03:36 > 0:03:38We don't do it in Just A Minute.
0:03:38 > 0:03:41The first time I did, I lost my watch.
0:03:41 > 0:03:44These chairs are terribly uncomfortable.
0:03:44 > 0:03:47They are orthopaedic.
0:03:47 > 0:03:49Yours aren't going back that much.
0:03:49 > 0:03:52Yours is orthopaedic.
0:03:52 > 0:03:53Cos of the age.
0:03:53 > 0:03:57We got it from a Sweeney Todd musical, I don't know what happens...
0:03:57 > 0:04:00Release the trap door!
0:04:01 > 0:04:03I will kick it in a minute.
0:04:04 > 0:04:09We had a brief glimpse of you and Arthur in a sketch.
0:04:09 > 0:04:12The Arthur Haynes Show was tremendously successful.
0:04:12 > 0:04:17Yes. It evolved slowly, it began incredibly modestly
0:04:17 > 0:04:19and was a disaster to begin with.
0:04:19 > 0:04:24It is one of those magical showbusiness things.
0:04:24 > 0:04:27- We have some fine examples of the partnership.- Right.
0:04:32 > 0:04:34Excuse me, sir? Can I help you?
0:04:34 > 0:04:38I am looking for a bloke called Nickel-arse.
0:04:38 > 0:04:42You mean Nicholas, don't you? I am Nicholas.
0:04:42 > 0:04:45You are Nickel-arse, are you?
0:04:45 > 0:04:47Are you Nickel-arse the Tailor?
0:04:47 > 0:04:49What do you want, sir?
0:04:49 > 0:04:51I want to buy a suit for humping coal in.
0:04:51 > 0:04:53You have come to the wrong shop.
0:04:53 > 0:04:56You're a tailor, aren't you?
0:04:56 > 0:04:59You make suits? I haven't come to the wrong shop then.
0:04:59 > 0:05:03I hardly think we have a suit that might be suitable
0:05:03 > 0:05:06for humping coal in, if you don't mind me saying.
0:05:06 > 0:05:09I'll be the judge of that.
0:05:09 > 0:05:12Get me some material, and nothing this colour, it shows the dirt!
0:05:14 > 0:05:18Oh, this is a day and a half.
0:05:18 > 0:05:20I've had it this morning.
0:05:20 > 0:05:22That looks nice.
0:05:22 > 0:05:24Lovely, innit?
0:05:24 > 0:05:28Anchovies on toast, a couple of mince pies, some ham,
0:05:28 > 0:05:31chicken, gherkins, orange.
0:05:31 > 0:05:34That's funny, that's what I usually have.
0:05:39 > 0:05:41LAUGHTER
0:05:45 > 0:05:46What have you got?
0:05:46 > 0:05:50Are a couple of bits of dried-up old bread and jam.
0:05:50 > 0:05:52That's funny.
0:05:52 > 0:05:54That's what I usually have.
0:05:57 > 0:06:01I loved the bit that you do with the roll and the sandwich
0:06:01 > 0:06:04and you just look at it and just allow the audience
0:06:04 > 0:06:05to see what you are thinking.
0:06:05 > 0:06:07We did have more time.
0:06:07 > 0:06:12Comedy was slower in those days and we lingered on these things.
0:06:12 > 0:06:15Part of the success of the partnership was I took the role
0:06:15 > 0:06:17of what became the straight man,
0:06:17 > 0:06:19I did not know I was going to be the straight man.
0:06:19 > 0:06:25This package indicates how you started your professional careers.
0:06:33 > 0:06:36Arthur grew up in Hammersmith, West London,
0:06:36 > 0:06:40and by 30 had worked as a painter and decorator and on the buses.
0:06:42 > 0:06:44But he also had a great singing voice
0:06:44 > 0:06:48and earned himself some extra cash by performing in the local pubs.
0:06:50 > 0:06:53This tough training ground helped him break into Charlie Chester's
0:06:53 > 0:06:57wartime entertainment group, Stars in Battledress.
0:06:57 > 0:07:00THEY SING
0:07:09 > 0:07:10We welcome you to Stand Easy
0:07:10 > 0:07:14where cheerful Charlie and the happy gang and the Stars in Battledress
0:07:14 > 0:07:18are filming fun for all. The only thing out of bounds is the blues.
0:07:18 > 0:07:23A young Nicholas Parsons was an unenthusiastic engineer
0:07:23 > 0:07:25who longed for an acting career.
0:07:25 > 0:07:31He left his job, followed his dream and landed some minor film roles.
0:07:32 > 0:07:35May I see your passport, please?
0:07:35 > 0:07:37- Come again?- Your passport.
0:07:37 > 0:07:43- My passport, why didn't you say so? - Thank you very much.
0:07:43 > 0:07:45Is it Miss Lamar?
0:07:45 > 0:07:46Uh-huh.
0:07:46 > 0:07:49What is the purpose of your visit to England?
0:07:50 > 0:07:53To find a husband.
0:07:53 > 0:07:58To add to his film and theatre credits he could by the mid-1950s
0:07:58 > 0:08:00explore the increasing opportunities
0:08:00 > 0:08:02in the new arena of television entertainment.
0:08:04 > 0:08:07In 1955, Independent Television began,
0:08:07 > 0:08:11and George Black was asked by one of the early companies to make
0:08:11 > 0:08:13a new variety programme,
0:08:13 > 0:08:17and he decided to take the title of his father's famous wartime show,
0:08:17 > 0:08:18Strike A New Note,
0:08:18 > 0:08:21which discovered lots of famous people.
0:08:21 > 0:08:24He was going to discover the new and unknown stars
0:08:24 > 0:08:26of independent television.
0:08:26 > 0:08:30I was getting places and I wanted to be one of them but it didn't happen.
0:08:30 > 0:08:34It went out in January 1956, I happened to see it
0:08:34 > 0:08:39and it was terrible, it really was appalling.
0:08:39 > 0:08:41Except for one person, Arthur Haynes.
0:08:41 > 0:08:44He had terrible material but I thought he was quite good
0:08:44 > 0:08:45on television.
0:08:45 > 0:08:47I saw it again the following week,
0:08:47 > 0:08:50and the following morning my agent phoned and said,
0:08:50 > 0:08:52"Have you seen Strike A New Note?"
0:08:52 > 0:08:56I said, "Yes, isn't it pathetic?"
0:08:56 > 0:08:58He said, "They want you to join it."
0:08:58 > 0:09:01And I said, "When do I start?"
0:09:01 > 0:09:03You don't argue in showbusiness.
0:09:03 > 0:09:06At the end of six shows, George got rid of everybody
0:09:06 > 0:09:08and kept Arthur and myself,
0:09:08 > 0:09:11saying, "I think you should do sketches together."
0:09:11 > 0:09:13He changed the show to Get Happy,
0:09:13 > 0:09:17we would get sketches from all the aspiring comedy writers,
0:09:17 > 0:09:21sift through them and find the ones we wanted to do.
0:09:21 > 0:09:24We took sketches from a writer called Johnny Speight,
0:09:24 > 0:09:26who seemed to be the best.
0:09:26 > 0:09:31It is good you mentioned him, we have Johnny Speight in his own words
0:09:31 > 0:09:33describing his early days. Here he is.
0:09:35 > 0:09:39Johnny Speight, later to become famous for Till Death Us Do Part,
0:09:39 > 0:09:44wrote over 500 sketches for The Arthur Haynes Show.
0:09:44 > 0:09:47He drew inspiration from his East-End background
0:09:47 > 0:09:54and found the perfect vehicle for his ideas in this new ITV comedy show.
0:09:54 > 0:09:56I suddenly had this bug to write.
0:09:56 > 0:10:01It sounds very easy to say "I got this bug to write."
0:10:01 > 0:10:05It is true, it started through Bernard Shaw.
0:10:05 > 0:10:08He was alive in those days.
0:10:08 > 0:10:14When he was alive, every day, there was some quote in a paper by him
0:10:14 > 0:10:17and I thought he was a comic.
0:10:17 > 0:10:20I thought he worked at the Palladium and I must catch him some time.
0:10:20 > 0:10:25I tried to find a book to read one day and I saw all these books
0:10:25 > 0:10:28by Bernard Shaw and I thought, "Christ, he writes as well."
0:10:28 > 0:10:30I read them and it changed my life.
0:10:30 > 0:10:33What did you do then?
0:10:33 > 0:10:36I bought a typewriter.
0:10:36 > 0:10:38I thought, I want to write.
0:10:38 > 0:10:41Up until then...
0:10:41 > 0:10:44After reading Shaw, it proved you could be anything you wanted to be
0:10:44 > 0:10:45or you could try to be,
0:10:45 > 0:10:51no matter where you started from. Background or birth did not matter.
0:10:53 > 0:10:57A regular device of his was to create confrontation
0:10:57 > 0:11:00by putting his protagonists in a confined space
0:11:00 > 0:11:01and watching the sparks fly.
0:11:03 > 0:11:06- Excuse me, is this the Woking train? - Yes, that's right.
0:11:06 > 0:11:10The fellow said it was, but you can't always trust them.
0:11:10 > 0:11:12This seat is not taken?
0:11:12 > 0:11:14None of those seats are taken.
0:11:14 > 0:11:17That's good, we'll have the carriage to ourselves.
0:11:17 > 0:11:20It will give us the chance to spread out.
0:11:20 > 0:11:22One thing about it, we won't get bothered in here.
0:11:22 > 0:11:25That is the worst of travelling by train,
0:11:25 > 0:11:27you never know who you'll have to share with.
0:11:27 > 0:11:31You buy a first-class ticket but nobody wants to be bothered.
0:11:31 > 0:11:34Doesn't stop people getting bothered, does it?
0:11:36 > 0:11:38Does it?
0:11:38 > 0:11:40No, it doesn't.
0:11:40 > 0:11:43There is not much chance of getting bothered in here,
0:11:43 > 0:11:44that is why I travel first class.
0:11:44 > 0:11:47You meet a different type of person.
0:11:47 > 0:11:51I always buy first class, but it does not stop people bothering you.
0:11:51 > 0:11:53Could to try to keep quiet?
0:11:53 > 0:11:56I've bought a first-class ticket, come into a first-class compartment,
0:11:56 > 0:11:59I feel like I am entitled to a little privacy and quiet.
0:11:59 > 0:12:01If that is the way you feel, I will keep quiet.
0:12:01 > 0:12:03That's what I want.
0:12:03 > 0:12:06- I can keep as quiet as anybody on this train.- Good.
0:12:06 > 0:12:10- If I want to be quiet, I can be quiet.- Be quiet!
0:12:10 > 0:12:14I'd tell you what I will do, I won't say another word.
0:12:15 > 0:12:18I'll just keep quiet.
0:12:24 > 0:12:26- How's that?- SHUT UP!
0:12:29 > 0:12:32Johnny could often be spotted as an extra in his own sketches.
0:12:34 > 0:12:39Here he is playing a man who has had a few too many down the pub.
0:12:42 > 0:12:44Hey, you!
0:12:44 > 0:12:47- Are you all right?! - BANG
0:12:47 > 0:12:50Are you all right? Come on.
0:12:53 > 0:12:55Don't just stand there, give me a hand.
0:12:55 > 0:12:57- What's the matter? - He's had an accident.
0:12:57 > 0:13:00- Get an ambulance. - We don't want an ambulance!
0:13:00 > 0:13:02- What has happened? - An accident.
0:13:02 > 0:13:09- Did you get the number of the car? - WXP 46.
0:13:09 > 0:13:13WXP 46. What was the colour of the car?
0:13:13 > 0:13:15Green.
0:13:17 > 0:13:20Lots of Johnny's sketches had an element of satire
0:13:20 > 0:13:22that still rings true today.
0:13:22 > 0:13:26See if this paranoid Chancellor reminds you of anyone.
0:13:32 > 0:13:34I say, that's another one that has drawn up outside now.
0:13:34 > 0:13:35What, next door?
0:13:35 > 0:13:40- He is right outside the Prime Minister's house.- Who is it?
0:13:40 > 0:13:42I don't know. I can't see.
0:13:47 > 0:13:51Well, whoever it is has gone inside and left his car outside.
0:13:51 > 0:13:53I'm sure there's a party going on in there this evening.
0:13:53 > 0:13:56That's the fifth car that's pulled up this evening.
0:13:56 > 0:14:00I'm darned sure there's a party going on in there.
0:14:04 > 0:14:06There seems to be a hell of a lot of people in there.
0:14:06 > 0:14:08I can hear their voices.
0:14:11 > 0:14:13Can you hear anything?
0:14:13 > 0:14:16Well, I can hear the voices but not what they're saying.
0:14:16 > 0:14:17These walls are so damned thick!
0:14:17 > 0:14:20LAUGHTER
0:14:20 > 0:14:24Wonderful, we get to see a bit of the class element that you talked about
0:14:24 > 0:14:25in Johnny Speight's writing.
0:14:25 > 0:14:30Johnny was a great political animal, he was influenced by Bernard Shaw.
0:14:30 > 0:14:33He loved bringing politics into his sketches.
0:14:33 > 0:14:35Arthur hated it.
0:14:35 > 0:14:38He said, "Johnny, cut out the politics, mate."
0:14:38 > 0:14:40He got nervous of it.
0:14:40 > 0:14:43He didn't want the public to see him taking sides.
0:14:43 > 0:14:46Comedians were more nervous then of being seen as
0:14:46 > 0:14:50- left-wing or right-wing.- Absolutely.
0:14:50 > 0:14:56But Johnny had this thing and we used to have conversations about it.
0:14:56 > 0:14:59He was definitely a socialist, and Arthur was that way.
0:14:59 > 0:15:02I was a middle-of-the-road Liberal, but it didn't matter.
0:15:02 > 0:15:04We all spoke the same professional language.
0:15:04 > 0:15:06It was very exciting.
0:15:06 > 0:15:10It's a product of the 1950s, that period after the war,
0:15:10 > 0:15:14the age of austerity, and people were questioning
0:15:14 > 0:15:17- the deference to authority, weren't they?- Not only that.
0:15:17 > 0:15:22We went into the '60s and they were a very exciting time.
0:15:22 > 0:15:26The Wolfenden Report came in, making homosexuality...
0:15:26 > 0:15:29Compulsory? LAUGHTER
0:15:30 > 0:15:32It was repealed after a year because
0:15:32 > 0:15:35a lot of people said it was giving them backache!
0:15:35 > 0:15:37It was no longer a crime.
0:15:37 > 0:15:39That's what we were trying to say.
0:15:39 > 0:15:42And then you had The Beatles.
0:15:42 > 0:15:45But there was also new comedy.
0:15:45 > 0:15:50People were pushing the boundaries, you had The Goons,
0:15:50 > 0:15:53Galton and Simpson, and Tony Hancock.
0:15:53 > 0:15:57All kinds of people were doing wonderful things.
0:15:57 > 0:15:58And Johnny Speight.
0:15:58 > 0:16:01We have some examples here of the authority figure
0:16:01 > 0:16:03being questioned by the common man.
0:16:03 > 0:16:06It's you and Arthur at your finest.
0:16:08 > 0:16:11Shop!
0:16:14 > 0:16:15And what do you two want?
0:16:15 > 0:16:18- We come in answer to the advert. - What advert?
0:16:18 > 0:16:20On the television about the Specials.
0:16:20 > 0:16:21What about the Specials?
0:16:21 > 0:16:23We want to join.
0:16:24 > 0:16:26What, you and...
0:16:26 > 0:16:27him?
0:16:27 > 0:16:30Yeah, me and him.
0:16:30 > 0:16:32You're joking!
0:16:32 > 0:16:34I always wanted to be in the police force, haven't I?
0:16:34 > 0:16:36That's right, and me.
0:16:36 > 0:16:40And we saw the television advert, said you was short of labour,
0:16:40 > 0:16:41and thought we would volunteer.
0:16:41 > 0:16:45We may be short, in fact we are short,
0:16:45 > 0:16:48but we are not taking any old rubbish.
0:16:48 > 0:16:50Hey!
0:16:50 > 0:16:52I'm not old rubbish.
0:16:52 > 0:16:53I'm not any old rubbish.
0:16:53 > 0:16:56I like the way he says he isn't taking any old rubbish.
0:16:56 > 0:16:59What I've seen of the police force is nothing but rubbish.
0:17:01 > 0:17:06- What is that?- A penny.- What do you want?- Two ha'ppenies.
0:17:07 > 0:17:11Oh, you're very funny. Take it back.
0:17:11 > 0:17:12You are a bank, aren't you?
0:17:12 > 0:17:16- You know very well we are a bank. - Well, change that then.
0:17:16 > 0:17:18We don't offer changing facilities
0:17:18 > 0:17:20except for customers who have accounts here.
0:17:20 > 0:17:23In that case we'll open an account.
0:17:23 > 0:17:25What with?
0:17:25 > 0:17:27Blimey, that's a larf.
0:17:27 > 0:17:30I bet you haven't got two ha'pennies between you.
0:17:30 > 0:17:32We will have once we've changed that penny!
0:17:34 > 0:17:38Johnny always delivered sketches late.
0:17:38 > 0:17:41We would start rehearsing on a Monday, record on a Thursday.
0:17:41 > 0:17:46Sometimes by Tuesday we didn't have the last sketch.
0:17:46 > 0:17:49Our producer would be phoning Johnny to find out
0:17:49 > 0:17:52and Connie, his wife, would always say, "He's in the bath."
0:17:52 > 0:17:55He didn't write the sketches in the bath.
0:17:55 > 0:17:58I don't know what he was doing, on the loo or what.
0:17:58 > 0:18:02But one week he said, "I've given Johnny an ultimatum.
0:18:02 > 0:18:05"I only have two flats, one has a door in it,
0:18:05 > 0:18:07"some tables and chairs -
0:18:07 > 0:18:12"write a sketch around that by tomorrow morning."
0:18:12 > 0:18:13And it arrived!
0:18:13 > 0:18:15Johnny wrote wonderfully under pressure.
0:18:15 > 0:18:19Arthur and I read through it and we would do it.
0:18:19 > 0:18:24Of all the authority figures you played in the Arthur Haynes series,
0:18:24 > 0:18:28perhaps the one that recurs more than any other is the vicar.
0:18:28 > 0:18:30Before we talk about that,
0:18:30 > 0:18:33I've got a couple of examples here I would like you to see.
0:18:38 > 0:18:42Thank goodness it's warmer in here than it is outside.
0:18:42 > 0:18:44There we are, my sweet.
0:18:44 > 0:18:46What did you think of the play tonight, darling?
0:18:46 > 0:18:48Wonderful, absolutely marvellous.
0:18:48 > 0:18:51He's a great writer, Bernard Shaw, isn't he?
0:18:51 > 0:18:53And Heartbreak House was one of the best plays.
0:18:53 > 0:18:58If we had a burglar here, what would you do?
0:18:58 > 0:19:03- Let him go free or call the police? - Call the police!
0:19:03 > 0:19:07No, no. I hope I would be sufficiently Christian
0:19:07 > 0:19:09to see the chap go free.
0:19:09 > 0:19:13You have to realise even a burglar is a fellow creature.
0:19:13 > 0:19:16That's very, very kind of you.
0:19:17 > 0:19:19Who the devil are you?!
0:19:19 > 0:19:22I'm the fellow creature you were just talking about.
0:19:22 > 0:19:25Hear him out. It won't do any harm and you never know,
0:19:25 > 0:19:27we might find out why the poor soul sank to crime.
0:19:27 > 0:19:30It was my 25 kids, madam.
0:19:32 > 0:19:34Your 25 children?
0:19:34 > 0:19:39Me and my missus are poor people and we have no comforts.
0:19:42 > 0:19:44I thought a bit of food,
0:19:44 > 0:19:49that's all I would pinch, a little bit of food, that's all, love.
0:19:49 > 0:19:52Poor man. It is a tragic shame.
0:19:52 > 0:19:56Just give me a few quid to help me on me way. That would do me.
0:19:56 > 0:20:03Well, all right, I will give you a pound.
0:20:04 > 0:20:07Well, that's not much between 27 of us, is it?
0:20:07 > 0:20:10I mean, that's less than a tanner each, isn't it?
0:20:10 > 0:20:12Look, I will tell you what I'll do,
0:20:12 > 0:20:15I will give you £2 - that's all I can afford.
0:20:15 > 0:20:18- Thank you very much. - Put it somewhere safe.
0:20:18 > 0:20:20I hope you will spend it on the children.
0:20:20 > 0:20:24I will, sir, the 25 of them. That's very kind of you.
0:20:24 > 0:20:27RATTLING
0:20:29 > 0:20:32I thought you only broke in here for food.
0:20:32 > 0:20:36We've got to have something to eat it with.
0:20:36 > 0:20:40CAROLLING
0:20:44 > 0:20:46You're very kind.
0:20:46 > 0:20:47Happy Christmas.
0:20:47 > 0:20:50That went well.
0:20:50 > 0:20:53Very generous.
0:21:01 > 0:21:06I'm sorry, vicar. I thought it was those carol singers!
0:21:09 > 0:21:12Nicholas, tell me about Johnny Speight.
0:21:12 > 0:21:14He was very keen on you playing vicars?
0:21:14 > 0:21:18He wrote this wonderful sketch, the vicar and the tramp.
0:21:18 > 0:21:23My producer said the powers that be said we can't do it,
0:21:23 > 0:21:24it was censored.
0:21:24 > 0:21:29They said you can't have a vicar in a comedy sketch.
0:21:29 > 0:21:31Can you believe that nowadays?
0:21:31 > 0:21:33I had this inspiration.
0:21:33 > 0:21:36I said, "probably what they think is
0:21:36 > 0:21:39"we are going to send up vicars and the clergy
0:21:39 > 0:21:42"like they do in that famous See How They Run.
0:21:42 > 0:21:46"Why don't you get somebody here to look at the sketch
0:21:46 > 0:21:49"to see that we are playing it as a sincere vicar?"
0:21:49 > 0:21:55So the power of the comedy is that the vicar has to be
0:21:55 > 0:21:58a believable, straight vicar, not a comedy vicar?
0:21:58 > 0:22:03She came to look at the sketch and said, "Brilliant. OK."
0:22:03 > 0:22:05We'd made a breakthrough.
0:22:05 > 0:22:09We were suddenly allowed to make comedy sketches with vicars in them.
0:22:09 > 0:22:12From then on Johnny Speight went mad and had so many vicars...
0:22:12 > 0:22:15He said to me once... His language was quite flowery.
0:22:15 > 0:22:20He said, "I love writing those sketches
0:22:20 > 0:22:24"because you make a f... very good vicar."
0:22:26 > 0:22:29And thank you for cleaning that up!
0:22:29 > 0:22:35He said, "You've got a vicar's face." I suppose I have.
0:22:35 > 0:22:40Yes, there is an air of innocence and goodness that emanated from you.
0:22:40 > 0:22:43Certainly then. I don't know about now.
0:22:43 > 0:22:46But there is. You are good casting for a vicar.
0:22:46 > 0:22:49Working with you, it hasn't faded.
0:22:49 > 0:22:52We did a lot of vicars.
0:22:52 > 0:22:55We've glimpsed elements of the supporting cast
0:22:55 > 0:22:57that you and Arthur worked with in the show.
0:22:57 > 0:22:59Here they are.
0:23:01 > 0:23:04The show used a small number of regulars,
0:23:04 > 0:23:07mainly actors who had been in Johnny Speight's theatre productions.
0:23:07 > 0:23:14Dermot Kelly played Arthur's partner in mischief and fellow tramp, Irish.
0:23:14 > 0:23:17You are supposed to be innocent until proved guilty.
0:23:17 > 0:23:20Whenever I come into contact with the law,
0:23:20 > 0:23:23they tell the magistrate that I'm guilty, that it was me.
0:23:23 > 0:23:27- They swore that it was me. - And was it you?
0:23:27 > 0:23:28Oh yes, it was me all right.
0:23:30 > 0:23:35Leslie Noyes seemed to get a few lines in almost every episode.
0:23:35 > 0:23:38- I'm your uncle Les. - You were my dad's brother.
0:23:38 > 0:23:41And you and my dad had another brother. Called what?
0:23:41 > 0:23:44- George.- And what was Uncle George to me? My Uncle...- George!
0:23:44 > 0:23:45Tell him who he was.
0:23:45 > 0:23:49- He was his uncle George.- Really.
0:23:49 > 0:23:51Pat Hayes was often a battleaxe
0:23:51 > 0:23:54or downtrodden wife or drunken lady tramp.
0:23:54 > 0:23:57How are you?
0:24:01 > 0:24:03Blimey, what have you been drinking?
0:24:03 > 0:24:07- Bottle bottoms.- What? - Bottle bottoms.
0:24:07 > 0:24:12I know a lovely big house where they have lots of parties.
0:24:12 > 0:24:14When they put the bottles out I go round
0:24:14 > 0:24:16and I've got something lovely in here.
0:24:16 > 0:24:18I will tell you what I've made.
0:24:18 > 0:24:22Gin, brandy, sherry, vodka,
0:24:22 > 0:24:26port, cider, bo-jelly,
0:24:26 > 0:24:28champagne and beer.
0:24:31 > 0:24:34- Is it strong? - Oh, it's strong.
0:24:34 > 0:24:35It's more like a punch, you see.
0:24:35 > 0:24:39I thought it was strong, the way your hat kept falling off!
0:24:41 > 0:24:45Rita Webb as a general harridan or blousey landlady
0:24:45 > 0:24:48was always formidable.
0:24:48 > 0:24:53Coming into my house and bathing with strange men?
0:24:53 > 0:24:56Oh! How dare you!
0:24:59 > 0:25:03I know your sort. You might look cold on top,
0:25:03 > 0:25:06but you're as hot as all the rest underneath!
0:25:07 > 0:25:11There were many bit parts for aspiring actors,
0:25:11 > 0:25:13again mates of Johnny Speight.
0:25:13 > 0:25:16This role as a burglar was a favour from Speight
0:25:16 > 0:25:20to the then little-known East End lad Michael Caine.
0:25:20 > 0:25:22You are not in the game, are you?
0:25:22 > 0:25:25Stop pointing the knife at me or I will belt you with this jemmy.
0:25:25 > 0:25:30- Are you in the game?- I've been in the game 35 years.
0:25:30 > 0:25:33I'm one of the governors of the game, I am.
0:25:33 > 0:25:36I've only clocked you, that's all.
0:25:36 > 0:25:39You're crafty Arthur from the basin.
0:25:39 > 0:25:42- Tidal basin 53. - How do you know?
0:25:42 > 0:25:45You know my dad, Jimmy the Lad.
0:25:45 > 0:25:48You did porridge with him.
0:25:48 > 0:25:53I'll learn you tricks of the trade if you treat me to twist.
0:25:53 > 0:25:55You're on. Ready? Go.
0:26:00 > 0:26:03Here's Anthony Booth, Cherie Blair's dad
0:26:03 > 0:26:07and soon-to-be Scouse git in Johnny Speight's Till Death Us Do Part.
0:26:07 > 0:26:10I'm looking for a Mr Kelly.
0:26:13 > 0:26:16A Mr Dermot Kelly.
0:26:18 > 0:26:19Which one is it?
0:26:19 > 0:26:21What do you want to know for?
0:26:21 > 0:26:26Because he's my father. Me mother sent me to find him.
0:26:26 > 0:26:29This was one of the first TV appearances
0:26:29 > 0:26:32for young Wendy Richard in 1962.
0:26:38 > 0:26:40Hey, hey, hey!
0:26:40 > 0:26:43Turn that off.
0:26:44 > 0:26:47- Your mother wants to know if you're coming down the pub with us.- No.
0:26:47 > 0:26:50In that case, can she have her hair back?
0:26:50 > 0:26:52LAUGHTER
0:26:54 > 0:26:58We saw there... Let's talk about some of the people we were looking at.
0:26:58 > 0:27:00We saw Dermot Kelly. What nationality was he?
0:27:00 > 0:27:03LAUGHTER
0:27:03 > 0:27:06I'm glad you are so observant, Paul.
0:27:06 > 0:27:09Dermot only came in later. He wasn't there in the beginning.
0:27:09 > 0:27:12Johnny was running out of ideas so he introduced a second tramp.
0:27:12 > 0:27:17It was a wonderful partnership. Dermot was a delightful character.
0:27:17 > 0:27:18He was a serious actor.
0:27:18 > 0:27:22Johnnie first met him in a play he wrote called The Knacker's Yard.
0:27:22 > 0:27:24He introduced him but Dermot could never
0:27:24 > 0:27:26get the words in his head on time.
0:27:26 > 0:27:30Arthur never liked rehearsing much, always wanted to get home.
0:27:30 > 0:27:34Dermot has an uneasy relationship with the script, do you feel?
0:27:34 > 0:27:35It's obvious.
0:27:35 > 0:27:39He was such an instinctive actor, he'd be struggling for his words
0:27:39 > 0:27:41but made it part of the performance.
0:27:41 > 0:27:44"No, no, I'll tell you, I'll tell you what...
0:27:44 > 0:27:46"I think maybe...
0:27:46 > 0:27:49"That's what they were thinking I was saying"
0:27:49 > 0:27:52One of the regular features of the show was the musical spot.
0:27:52 > 0:27:55Different people filled that spot over the years.
0:27:55 > 0:27:58Here is just a selection.
0:27:58 > 0:28:02It is really lovely to be here on the show with Arthur.
0:28:02 > 0:28:06I'm a real big fan of his, as I'm sure you are.
0:28:06 > 0:28:08- # Hear- my- song
0:28:08 > 0:28:11- # Vi- o- let- to
0:28:12 > 0:28:15- # Hear- my- song
0:28:15 > 0:28:20# Beneath the moon. #
0:28:20 > 0:28:26# Fly me to the moon And let me play among the stars
0:28:26 > 0:28:31# Let me know what spring is like On Jupiter and Mars... #
0:28:31 > 0:28:34# Do you love me?
0:28:35 > 0:28:39# Do you love me?
0:28:39 > 0:28:45# Now that I can dance... #
0:28:45 > 0:28:50# I feel like climbing a mountain I feel ten feet tall
0:28:56 > 0:28:58# I'll do most anything
0:28:58 > 0:29:00# If you say that you want me to
0:29:00 > 0:29:03# Cos you do things to me
0:29:03 > 0:29:06# Yes, you do things to me... #
0:29:06 > 0:29:09- Oh...- Ooh...
0:29:09 > 0:29:15THEY SING STACCATO
0:29:15 > 0:29:21HE HARMONISES
0:29:21 > 0:29:29# I wander the streets and the gay, crowded places
0:29:29 > 0:29:36# I try to forget you But somehow it seems
0:29:36 > 0:29:43# That my thoughts ever stray to our last sweet embraces
0:29:44 > 0:29:52# Over the sea on the island of dreams... #
0:29:52 > 0:29:54They ain't got the ear for a good tune.
0:29:54 > 0:29:58Now it is all about The Rolling Stones.
0:29:58 > 0:30:00Thank you very much, we are going to do a slow one now.
0:30:00 > 0:30:03It is called, You'd Better Move On.
0:30:14 > 0:30:19# Would you ask me to give up the hand of the girl I love?
0:30:22 > 0:30:28# Would you tell me I'm not the man she's worthy of?
0:30:31 > 0:30:36# But who are you to tell her who to know?
0:30:39 > 0:30:41# That's up to her.
0:30:41 > 0:30:44# Yes, and the Lord above.
0:30:45 > 0:30:50# You'd better move on... #
0:30:50 > 0:30:53- # Hear- my- song
0:30:53 > 0:30:56THEY SING STACCATO
0:30:56 > 0:31:03- # Hear my song - Beneath
0:31:03 > 0:31:09- # The...- moon. #
0:31:12 > 0:31:15Interesting seeing The Rolling Stones, clearly Keith Richard
0:31:15 > 0:31:17was out of it even then.
0:31:19 > 0:31:21That was one of their first television appearances.
0:31:21 > 0:31:23When we became successful in the mid-60s
0:31:23 > 0:31:27we had fallen into the format of doing a mini variety show.
0:31:27 > 0:31:31One week we had The Rolling Stones.
0:31:31 > 0:31:34They had a fetish at the time of not washing.
0:31:34 > 0:31:37Apparently it appealed to the girls.
0:31:37 > 0:31:44I don't know where the appeal was because these unwashed bodies
0:31:44 > 0:31:47in the studio were quite surprising.
0:31:47 > 0:31:48- Really?- Yes.
0:31:48 > 0:31:51You had to have quite a strong nose to cope with it.
0:31:53 > 0:31:54You mention...
0:31:54 > 0:31:57I think they have grown out of it now, don't worry.
0:31:57 > 0:32:04I would hate the BBC to be brought down on this single issue!
0:32:06 > 0:32:09The shows were recorded at the Hackney Empire?
0:32:09 > 0:32:14To begin with.
0:32:14 > 0:32:15What was the setup?
0:32:15 > 0:32:17They took the stalls out,
0:32:17 > 0:32:19the cameras were where the stalls would be
0:32:19 > 0:32:22and the dress circle was where the audience was.
0:32:22 > 0:32:29ATV took the Hackney Empire and the Wood Green Empire.
0:32:29 > 0:32:33The reason I asked is that there is a rather unusual beginning to one of
0:32:33 > 0:32:38the shows, perhaps we should see that first?
0:32:42 > 0:32:46Nice to have your back with us, and what a night to pick.
0:32:46 > 0:32:50The foggiest night for 10 years and we pick it to start our series.
0:32:50 > 0:32:54Nice to see you back and we should applaud our audience for coming out
0:32:54 > 0:32:58on a night like this. Let's give a round of applause to the audience.
0:33:01 > 0:33:031, 2, 3, 6...14.
0:33:03 > 0:33:06No, there are 15.
0:33:06 > 0:33:08No, that is the post.
0:33:09 > 0:33:16You were embarking on this recording, the first of the series.
0:33:16 > 0:33:20We were recording and there was a terrible fog, used to call them
0:33:20 > 0:33:23peasoupers in the early '60s and late '50s.
0:33:23 > 0:33:28Arthur and I, I don't know who has suggested, said let's go out and
0:33:28 > 0:33:32establish the fact that we only have a small audience.
0:33:32 > 0:33:35We completely improvised and did it.
0:33:35 > 0:33:41You mention the ability to improvise, particularly when it was foggy.
0:33:41 > 0:33:45We have some examples of improvisation.
0:33:45 > 0:33:48I think you are talking rubbish.
0:33:48 > 0:33:51I think you're talking complete piffle.
0:33:51 > 0:33:55This hospital has got a rotten reputation, a very bad reputation.
0:33:55 > 0:33:58How? It's a fine hospital.
0:33:58 > 0:34:04It is all the students, a beginner's hospital.
0:34:04 > 0:34:05I beg your pardon?
0:34:07 > 0:34:10I didn't quite hear what you said.
0:34:10 > 0:34:12I said it is full of students.
0:34:12 > 0:34:15Oh, students, I couldn't quite catch it.
0:34:15 > 0:34:20It is a training hospital, one of the finest in the country.
0:34:20 > 0:34:22They've got to learn somewhere.
0:34:22 > 0:34:24They are learning on you.
0:34:24 > 0:34:28But you seem to forget that some of the finest Harley Street surgeons
0:34:28 > 0:34:31come to this hospital to practise.
0:34:31 > 0:34:35They come down to practise on you, mate.
0:34:35 > 0:34:39They wouldn't practise on their own patients in the West End.
0:34:39 > 0:34:41They come down to practise on you, yes.
0:34:42 > 0:34:44I know.
0:34:44 > 0:34:48- Take it from me. - LAUGHTER
0:34:48 > 0:34:53Mr Haynes, might I suggest you swallow that before you continue?
0:34:53 > 0:34:54I will try.
0:34:56 > 0:35:00We do not bung this money in our pockets.
0:35:00 > 0:35:03Somebody's bunging it somewhere. I'm not getting it.
0:35:03 > 0:35:05It's not bunged, this money is spent on the nation.
0:35:05 > 0:35:09I am part of the nation and nobody is spending it on me.
0:35:09 > 0:35:11Look at my suit, I am a war hero.
0:35:11 > 0:35:15I've fought for my country, up to my nuck in meck and bullets.
0:35:15 > 0:35:18- Up to your what?- You heard.
0:35:18 > 0:35:21That sounds a most unfortunate predicament.
0:35:21 > 0:35:24I have never been in a worse one.
0:35:24 > 0:35:29How do you think I will begin to find the person who has stolen 4p?
0:35:29 > 0:35:31Put roadblocks up.
0:35:32 > 0:35:34We are not putting roadblocks up for 4p.
0:35:34 > 0:35:37You don't have to, because I know where we had it stolen from.
0:35:37 > 0:35:39- You do?- Last night in the mission hut.
0:35:39 > 0:35:42- In the mission hut?- You need to send one of your CI...blokes around
0:35:42 > 0:35:46- to the mission hut. - One of our what blokes?
0:35:50 > 0:35:53Get onto The Times.
0:35:53 > 0:35:55Certainly, what would you wish to say?
0:35:55 > 0:35:59Put an advertursement in, will you?
0:35:59 > 0:36:03You know what an advertursement is, don't you?
0:36:08 > 0:36:14- Indeed I do.- Don't stand there grinning, put one in.
0:36:14 > 0:36:15Tell them I want a new butler.
0:36:15 > 0:36:18I was just approving of your subtle humour, my lord.
0:36:18 > 0:36:21LAUGHTER DROWNS OUT SPEECH
0:36:26 > 0:36:31Do you know what to say?
0:36:31 > 0:36:32I was about to ask you, my lord.
0:36:34 > 0:36:38What do you wish to say in your advertisement?
0:36:39 > 0:36:43Just tell them I would like a new butler, would you?
0:36:43 > 0:36:46My lord has no need for that.
0:36:46 > 0:36:48- Why not?- I am your butler.
0:36:48 > 0:36:51- Are you?- Oh, well, you have saved me a lot of bother.
0:36:55 > 0:36:59Just watching you, you still really enjoy watching those clips.
0:36:59 > 0:37:04You two are going out on television and being watched by millions,
0:37:04 > 0:37:07and at that moment neither of you knows what the next line is.
0:37:07 > 0:37:09No.
0:37:09 > 0:37:11THEY CHUCKLE
0:37:11 > 0:37:14- But you don't panic.- No.
0:37:14 > 0:37:17This is a strange and delightful, wonderful thing.
0:37:17 > 0:37:21You had confidence in each other. We could carry each other through.
0:37:21 > 0:37:25We never discussed it, we just knew that if anything went wrong we could
0:37:25 > 0:37:30waffle our way out of it. I was usually the first to go.
0:37:30 > 0:37:34When something goes, you are tense and you start to giggle.
0:37:34 > 0:37:36We did send each other up.
0:37:36 > 0:37:39If he fluffed, I would say, "What did you say?",
0:37:39 > 0:37:40and he would do the same to me.
0:37:41 > 0:37:46When you see it again, it is tremendous fun to watch.
0:37:46 > 0:37:50The audience loved it. The viewers, they waited for those moments,
0:37:50 > 0:37:51but you had to cover and keep going.
0:37:51 > 0:37:55Nowadays those things would be cut out and sent to a programme
0:37:55 > 0:37:58that shows It'll Be Alright On The Night, but we carried on.
0:37:58 > 0:38:00There is a great deal of trust between you.
0:38:00 > 0:38:05You get the feeling sometimes if he is not sure of the lines, you can supply them?
0:38:05 > 0:38:08I think you develop a professional trust.
0:38:08 > 0:38:11He knew instinctively that I would carry the words in my head,
0:38:11 > 0:38:15I have a good memory anyway. Arthur had a good memory,
0:38:15 > 0:38:19but he did not enjoy rehearsing. He came from music hall and variety,
0:38:19 > 0:38:22I came from the theatre, and I learned the words,
0:38:22 > 0:38:25and having a good memory I carried all the words.
0:38:25 > 0:38:28And he wanted to get home and do his DIY, which he loved doing.
0:38:28 > 0:38:31He was always poshing up his house.
0:38:31 > 0:38:36We never discussed it, interestingly, but he always knew that if he dried,
0:38:36 > 0:38:39I would help him out. He'd look at me.
0:38:39 > 0:38:42You could tell in his eyes that he was looking for a feed,
0:38:42 > 0:38:44and I would feed him his line.
0:38:44 > 0:38:49He would look back at me and say, "That was the very word I was searching for.
0:38:49 > 0:38:53"You put that word right into my mouth. How did I know you were..."
0:38:53 > 0:39:00It was an amazing situation, once. A journalist wrote, "Arthur Haynes
0:39:00 > 0:39:04"has got the greatest televisual face, when he looks at his straight man
0:39:04 > 0:39:09"Nicholas Parsons with that wonderful moonbeam look of his, you can read
0:39:09 > 0:39:12"oceans of meaning on what he's trying to convey."
0:39:12 > 0:39:15All he was trying to convey was, "What is my next line?"
0:39:15 > 0:39:17LAUGHTER
0:39:17 > 0:39:21I want to pick you up on that, that is a good point about the trust between you,
0:39:21 > 0:39:25there is a sketch I want to look at, then there is a story
0:39:25 > 0:39:27I want you to tell me.
0:39:27 > 0:39:32This is a sketch with Arthur and Nicholas, the barber shop sketch.
0:39:32 > 0:39:36- You're new around here.- Yes. I am a stranger in these parts.
0:39:37 > 0:39:40- You're not local?- No, not at all.
0:39:41 > 0:39:45You never been in this saloon before?
0:39:45 > 0:39:47- No, I haven't. - I didn't think you had.- Why?
0:39:47 > 0:39:49When you asked me to shave you.
0:39:53 > 0:39:55What do you mean?
0:39:55 > 0:39:58Most of the locals prefer old George to shave them.
0:39:58 > 0:40:00Why do they prefer George?
0:40:00 > 0:40:03He has a much steadier hand.
0:40:05 > 0:40:07A steadier hand?
0:40:07 > 0:40:09He's a bit more stolid than I am.
0:40:09 > 0:40:13- Stolid?- My trouble is I am full of imagination, you know?
0:40:13 > 0:40:18As soon as I get one of these in my hand, it goes. Look at that.
0:40:18 > 0:40:21Every time I hold a razor for the first time, it goes...
0:40:21 > 0:40:23Look at my hand shaking.
0:40:23 > 0:40:28You're not going to shave me with your hand like that?
0:40:28 > 0:40:31It will go off in a minute, you're not in a hurry, are you?
0:40:31 > 0:40:35I'd rather have someone else. Couldn't old George shave me?
0:40:35 > 0:40:38I don't know, he's only just started a haircut,
0:40:38 > 0:40:40- he'll be a while. - Haven't you someone else?
0:40:40 > 0:40:43The Governor could shave you, I suppose.
0:40:43 > 0:40:44Why can't the Governor?
0:40:44 > 0:40:47I don't like to ask him in case he wants to know why I can't shave you myself.
0:40:47 > 0:40:51You will have to tell him, I'm sure he'll understand.
0:40:51 > 0:40:54I don't think he will, if he finds out every time I pick a razor up
0:40:54 > 0:40:56my hand shakes. He'll want to get rid of me.
0:40:56 > 0:40:58It's not good for customers.
0:40:58 > 0:41:02Naturally, but I don't wish you to shave me with your hand shaking.
0:41:02 > 0:41:05It won't be for long.
0:41:05 > 0:41:07I'll take a couple of sedatives, if you can wait.
0:41:07 > 0:41:09LAUGHTER
0:41:30 > 0:41:32GLASS CLATTERS
0:41:46 > 0:41:47- That's it.- That's it?
0:41:47 > 0:41:50- Marvellous.- Are you sure?
0:41:50 > 0:41:54I'm all right now. Don't shout. Keep calm.
0:41:54 > 0:41:55I'm very nervous.
0:41:55 > 0:41:56You're nervous?!
0:41:57 > 0:41:59Get your head back.
0:41:59 > 0:42:01You have nothing to worry about.
0:42:05 > 0:42:06Are you ready?
0:42:06 > 0:42:10Wait! Wait! What do you think you're doing?
0:42:10 > 0:42:13I have to work fast before the pills wear off!
0:42:13 > 0:42:16LAUGHTER
0:42:18 > 0:42:23That sketch, that was a TV version, but you did it live as well?
0:42:23 > 0:42:25Yes.
0:42:25 > 0:42:31I hadn't done a summer season with Arthur, it was 1961 and he went
0:42:31 > 0:42:33to Blackpool, to Winter Gardens.
0:42:33 > 0:42:38One night he said to me, "Listen, I've been thinking" - and we always
0:42:38 > 0:42:42used to have a drink after and analyse the show. He said, "Do you
0:42:42 > 0:42:45"know, we worked so many bits of business into that sketch,
0:42:45 > 0:42:48"I think we could do it without any dialogue.
0:42:48 > 0:42:54"All you have to do is say the opening line and then we go into the mime."
0:42:54 > 0:42:56The following night I arrived at the theatre,
0:42:56 > 0:42:59we came to the barber sketch, and he suddenly went into it.
0:42:59 > 0:43:01And I thought, you're doing it!
0:43:01 > 0:43:03Into the mime version?
0:43:03 > 0:43:05Yes, without discussing it.
0:43:05 > 0:43:11So I just responded and we suddenly did this in mime.
0:43:11 > 0:43:13Afterwards I grabbed him, he said, wasn't that funny?
0:43:13 > 0:43:18This is what you know so much about, with your silent clowns.
0:43:18 > 0:43:24This brings me neatly to the next bit, before the culture of health and safety.
0:43:24 > 0:43:29If you think health and safety is wrapping us up in cotton wool,
0:43:29 > 0:43:33you might look at these bits and think, maybe it's not so bad.
0:43:45 > 0:43:48LAUGHTER
0:43:51 > 0:43:52I want to make sure it's gas.
0:43:52 > 0:43:56But that's dangerous. What do you think you're doing?
0:43:56 > 0:43:57What do you mean?
0:43:57 > 0:43:58Oh, it is gas.
0:44:01 > 0:44:03LAUGHTER DROWNS OUT SPEECH
0:44:06 > 0:44:07- That's dangerous.- What?
0:44:07 > 0:44:09What do you think you're doing?
0:44:09 > 0:44:12No, it's all right, it's our tea break.
0:44:14 > 0:44:16I've got time to make my phone call then?
0:44:16 > 0:44:19- Yes. I don't think you'll hear anything though.- Why not?
0:44:19 > 0:44:22He makes more noise with a kettle than a drill.
0:44:22 > 0:44:24KETTLE RATTLES
0:44:24 > 0:44:28I believe he's made crepe Suzettes for some of the best known people.
0:44:28 > 0:44:29I'm sure he has.
0:44:37 > 0:44:40I always think it's such fun having something prepared
0:44:40 > 0:44:41right under your nose like this.
0:44:41 > 0:44:44- Marvellous.- It's part of the fun of coming out, I always say.
0:44:48 > 0:44:52I say, darling, wouldn't it be fun if you had one of those things
0:44:52 > 0:44:54- at home and made them at the table.- I'll try.
0:44:55 > 0:45:00- You must watch it all.- All right. - Then you'll learn something.
0:45:20 > 0:45:22LAUGHTER
0:45:22 > 0:45:25THEY PUFF
0:45:42 > 0:45:45I say, would you sooner have cheese?
0:45:48 > 0:45:51Nicholas, I have to ask you, how much of that was rehearsed?
0:45:51 > 0:45:53None of it. I was improvising
0:45:53 > 0:45:56and he said keep it going while I make the crepe Suzette.
0:45:56 > 0:45:59He just improvised the whole thing.
0:45:59 > 0:46:02This brings me to the nature of the straight man, and the role of
0:46:02 > 0:46:05the straight man in a comedy partnership.
0:46:05 > 0:46:09We have a couple of examples here which illustrate the point.
0:46:09 > 0:46:12What do you want from Father Christmas, Harold?
0:46:12 > 0:46:17- A train set.- A big electric train set, don't you, son?
0:46:17 > 0:46:21You just write out a note and put it up the chimney and we'll see
0:46:21 > 0:46:25if Father Christmas can bring you an electric train set.
0:46:29 > 0:46:31What is he winking at me for then?
0:46:31 > 0:46:33What are you winking for?
0:46:33 > 0:46:37Well, you're going to give him an electric train set, aren't you?
0:46:37 > 0:46:40I can't afford to buy him an electric train set for Christmas,
0:46:40 > 0:46:42not on what I earn.
0:46:42 > 0:46:46Well, Harold, perhaps there is something else you would like from
0:46:46 > 0:46:49Father Christmas, something not quite so expensive.
0:46:49 > 0:46:52Not quite so expensive, eh?
0:46:53 > 0:46:57What does he keep winking for? What you winking for?
0:46:59 > 0:47:03Well, just a minute, Harold. Will you just stand over there?
0:47:04 > 0:47:06What are you going to give him for Christmas?
0:47:06 > 0:47:08- Me?- Yes, you.
0:47:08 > 0:47:10I'm not going to give him anything for Christmas.
0:47:10 > 0:47:12- Nothing?- Nothing.
0:47:12 > 0:47:16He never gives him nothing for Christmas, he relies on you,
0:47:16 > 0:47:19and you've never brought him nothing yet!
0:47:19 > 0:47:22I see that child with my own eyes, he writes that note each year
0:47:22 > 0:47:26and pokes it up the chimney and you never bring him nothing.
0:47:27 > 0:47:30- Nothing?- You've never brought him a thing.
0:47:30 > 0:47:35Look, I'm not the real Father Christmas, you know?
0:47:37 > 0:47:39I'm an actor.
0:47:39 > 0:47:43I'm dressed up as Father Christmas. It's a job I do every year.
0:47:43 > 0:47:46Every year I come to this store and dress as Father Christmas -
0:47:46 > 0:47:47it's a job. Every year.
0:47:47 > 0:47:49That's marvellous isn't it, love?
0:47:49 > 0:47:52This is the society that we're now living in.
0:47:52 > 0:47:56A fully grown man, mate, is going to ruin that boy's mind for the sake of
0:47:56 > 0:47:58a few shillings.
0:47:58 > 0:47:59What's the trouble here?
0:47:59 > 0:48:02This man seems to think for some reason
0:48:02 > 0:48:04that I'm the real Father Christmas.
0:48:07 > 0:48:10Well, excuse me, what have you got written on your window?
0:48:10 > 0:48:13You said, "Come and see Father Christmas for 5 shillings."
0:48:13 > 0:48:15That's what you've said, "Father Christmas".
0:48:15 > 0:48:18Yes, we have got Father Christmas.
0:48:18 > 0:48:20- You have?- Yes, sir. - Well, where is he?
0:48:20 > 0:48:22We want to see him. I want to see him.
0:48:22 > 0:48:24I want to get him an electric train set for Christmas.
0:48:24 > 0:48:26This is Father Christmas.
0:48:26 > 0:48:29No, he's an out of work actor, he just told us, mate.
0:48:29 > 0:48:34These people have paid their 5 shillings to see Father Christmas.
0:48:34 > 0:48:38If I want to see an actor I go to the theatre.
0:48:38 > 0:48:43I don't have to come here. And I can see better actors...
0:48:43 > 0:48:44Quiet!
0:48:44 > 0:48:46LAUGHTER
0:48:49 > 0:48:52Tell me about the character you adopt in a lot of these sketches
0:48:52 > 0:48:56with Arthur and how possessive was he about gag lines?
0:48:56 > 0:48:59No. He was very fair about that.
0:48:59 > 0:49:04Some comedians like to have all the lines, and if anybody
0:49:04 > 0:49:07is feeding them, as we call it, they don't get any laughs at all.
0:49:07 > 0:49:12In fact, poor Tony Hancock, who was brilliant, but he slowly got rid of
0:49:12 > 0:49:16- all the people who got the laughs. - He got worried about that.- Yes.
0:49:16 > 0:49:18Arthur was fair and generous about that.
0:49:18 > 0:49:23He said, "Listen, the gag lines are mine, aren't they?"
0:49:23 > 0:49:24I said, "Of course."
0:49:24 > 0:49:27He said, "I don't mind how many laughs you get on character.
0:49:27 > 0:49:29"Lovely. It helps the sketch."
0:49:29 > 0:49:33He never minded. I would characterise.
0:49:33 > 0:49:39I'm the different characters, the fellow at the DHSS or the doctor
0:49:39 > 0:49:42or whatever. They are all different.
0:49:42 > 0:49:47We talked about being a figure of the establishment, but it was an acting performance I gave.
0:49:47 > 0:49:49I was always a character.
0:49:49 > 0:49:52I used my acting experience to play these different characters -
0:49:52 > 0:49:54doctors, lawyers or whatever.
0:49:54 > 0:49:57I believe it gave Arthur more to bounce off as a comic.
0:49:57 > 0:49:59It did take it in another direction.
0:49:59 > 0:50:03It is interesting - nowadays, you don't get a team where you have
0:50:03 > 0:50:07the straight man, the foil, like Armstrong and Jones.
0:50:07 > 0:50:09Armstrong and Miller.
0:50:09 > 0:50:12Armstrong and Jones never really got anywhere!
0:50:12 > 0:50:13LAUGHTER
0:50:16 > 0:50:17I love working with you.
0:50:17 > 0:50:20Smith and Miller weren't much better, to be honest.
0:50:20 > 0:50:24Thank you for helping me out. This is what would happen with Arthur.
0:50:24 > 0:50:27We'd get it wrong, then help each other out.
0:50:27 > 0:50:33You made a virtue out of it. As you say, a very popular comedy partnership.
0:50:33 > 0:50:37Let's look at some of the coverage from the 1960s.
0:50:38 > 0:50:40Ladies and gentlemen, Arthur Haynes!
0:50:42 > 0:50:44HE MOUTHS
0:50:46 > 0:50:48HE MOUTHS
0:50:49 > 0:50:52'Arthur Haynes demonstrates his skill as an elephant boy,
0:50:52 > 0:50:55'and Nicholas Parsons with his ever-ready smile.'
0:51:32 > 0:51:36It's great fun being a comedian, but the way I feel now is no laughing matter.
0:51:36 > 0:51:38- I'm right out of sorts.
0:51:38 > 0:51:39- PHONE RINGS - Excuse me.
0:51:39 > 0:51:41Hello? Hollywood!
0:51:41 > 0:51:43Hello, Arthur, what's the matter?
0:51:43 > 0:51:45I'm really under the weather.
0:51:45 > 0:51:47Does your head ache, is your tummy upset?
0:51:47 > 0:51:49That's right. Can you help?
0:51:49 > 0:51:51'You bet! Just watch.'
0:51:51 > 0:51:53Alka-Seltzer, that's the way for speedy relief.
0:51:55 > 0:51:58Good old Speedy. I feel wonderful.
0:51:58 > 0:52:03'The story of the chicken and the egg at the show at Olympia.
0:52:03 > 0:52:07'Nicholas Parsons with a mynah bird who won the contest.
0:52:07 > 0:52:11'Name of Ted, after Tory leader Ted Heath.'
0:52:12 > 0:52:15'Arthur Haynes, in the only title role that's got whiskers on it.
0:52:15 > 0:52:17'The collection will now be taken.'
0:52:18 > 0:52:20'It was truly a star-studded gathering.
0:52:20 > 0:52:23'Patrick Wymark and Nicholas Parsons,
0:52:23 > 0:52:26'Harry Secombe introduced the wrestling foursome.
0:52:26 > 0:52:29'Those top TV toughs Mick McManus and Steve Logan
0:52:29 > 0:52:31'versus Nicholas Parsons and...'
0:52:37 > 0:52:40'This is more all-in than any wrestling we've ever seen!'
0:52:40 > 0:52:43LAUGHTER It is like watching Buster Keaton.
0:52:43 > 0:52:44It's wonderful.
0:52:48 > 0:52:52- That gives an indication of how famous you'd become.- Yes.
0:52:52 > 0:52:54It really had become the top thing.
0:52:54 > 0:52:58When he became successful he was aware of his success, but he was
0:52:58 > 0:53:00very down to earth, very easy to work with.
0:53:00 > 0:53:03You see that in his face. A sort of cheerful...
0:53:03 > 0:53:07You haven't got another chair, have you, for the rest of the show?
0:53:09 > 0:53:10The trap door won't work!
0:53:10 > 0:53:15LAUGHTER Can you remember the first time you realised that you had
0:53:15 > 0:53:18become famous, when somebody spotted you in the street?
0:53:18 > 0:53:21No, you never think like that. I never did.
0:53:21 > 0:53:22I had a young family.
0:53:22 > 0:53:27The wonderful thing about working with Arthur, because he didn't
0:53:27 > 0:53:30rehearse much, I'd get home early and be with the children.
0:53:30 > 0:53:32It was lovely. You don't think like that.
0:53:32 > 0:53:35You never think, "I'm famous."
0:53:35 > 0:53:37Do you ever think that?
0:53:37 > 0:53:42Well, I suppose when people notice you in the street a bit, but you don't think about it.
0:53:42 > 0:53:47No. I was aware it was successful and I was thrilled with its success.
0:53:47 > 0:53:50- You never think like that. - It was a huge hit here.
0:53:50 > 0:53:54You did The Ed Sullivan Show in America a couple of times.
0:53:54 > 0:54:00That's right. We went there for one visit but we did six or seven shows.
0:54:00 > 0:54:02It was incredibly successful.
0:54:02 > 0:54:05The last visit to The Ed Sullivan Show, you weren't involved in.
0:54:05 > 0:54:10But I want to see this because this is Arthur working in full colour.
0:54:12 > 0:54:14GENTLE MUSIC PLAYS
0:54:27 > 0:54:31LAUGHTER
0:54:51 > 0:54:53DRUM ROLL
0:55:00 > 0:55:01LAUGHTER
0:55:05 > 0:55:06Ahoy!
0:55:11 > 0:55:15It is doing perhaps the old-fashioned variety stuff,
0:55:15 > 0:55:18but it is a nice contrast to what we've seen.
0:55:18 > 0:55:21He was back doing the pantomime stuff then.
0:55:21 > 0:55:24This happened just after Arthur decided we should separate
0:55:24 > 0:55:26and go our different ways.
0:55:26 > 0:55:29This is after ten years together. What was his thinking?
0:55:29 > 0:55:32We were doing summer season at Scarborough, and we always
0:55:32 > 0:55:34had a drink afterwards.
0:55:34 > 0:55:36He said, "Mate, I think we should separate".
0:55:36 > 0:55:38I said, "What do you mean?"
0:55:38 > 0:55:41He said, "I think we should go our separate ways."
0:55:41 > 0:55:44'Any future plans for Nicholas and Arthur to work together again
0:55:44 > 0:55:50'ended when in 1966 Arthur died from a heart attack.
0:55:50 > 0:55:54'Sadly, his fame died with him
0:55:54 > 0:55:57'and his shows were rarely to be seen again on television.'
0:56:04 > 0:56:07It is all very sad, actually, because he was only 52.
0:56:07 > 0:56:09It was very sad.
0:56:09 > 0:56:14So do you think if Arthur hadn't had died, you think you would have got
0:56:14 > 0:56:17- back together again?- Absolutely. No doubt about it.
0:56:17 > 0:56:20I loved working with him. I was very fond of him.
0:56:20 > 0:56:26Reminded of it, I feel I was privileged not only to be part of that partnership and
0:56:26 > 0:56:28working with a supreme performer.
0:56:28 > 0:56:31I have such happy memories of the time.
0:56:31 > 0:56:38It is amazing to think you were part of a process of breaking new ground
0:56:38 > 0:56:39in comedy.
0:56:39 > 0:56:46It's life-affirming, the fact that it still works as well as it did in the '60s.
0:56:46 > 0:56:50Nicholas, it's been a pleasure to look at these clips with you.
0:56:50 > 0:56:54You were part of a great comedy partnership that was hugely
0:56:54 > 0:56:57successful on British television for ten years.
0:56:57 > 0:56:59It was a wonderful evening to spend with you.
0:56:59 > 0:57:01Ladies and gentlemen, Mr Nicholas Parsons.
0:57:01 > 0:57:02APPLAUSE
0:57:02 > 0:57:05Thank you.
0:57:07 > 0:57:11I think I must respond to that because the audience have been so
0:57:11 > 0:57:16warm and lovely and laughing at stuff which brought back so much nostalgia for me.
0:57:16 > 0:57:19You have got such affection for the old comedy.
0:57:19 > 0:57:24You are always so generous in the way you give out to people.
0:57:24 > 0:57:27That's very kind of you, Nicholas. All I can do is agree with you.
0:57:27 > 0:57:29LAUGHTER
0:57:29 > 0:57:31I would have put it stronger myself!
0:57:31 > 0:57:34I couldn't have done it without you, mate.
0:57:34 > 0:57:36It's this bloody chair...
0:57:36 > 0:57:40Let's finish off with a gallop through some of the best
0:57:40 > 0:57:43of Arthur Haynes, Nicholas Parsons and supporting crew.
0:57:44 > 0:57:46Oh, it's Arthur!
0:57:48 > 0:57:51No, please. Ow!
0:57:56 > 0:57:58Ow!
0:57:59 > 0:58:00Ow!
0:58:33 > 0:58:36I'm going to get him!
0:58:46 > 0:58:49APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:59:00 > 0:59:03Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:59:03 > 0:59:06E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk