Peter Kay: 20 Years of Funny

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0:00:10 > 0:00:12Whoa, whoa! I can't have that.

0:00:12 > 0:00:15I can't have that, no chance.

0:00:15 > 0:00:17These lads are clearly blessed, eh?

0:00:17 > 0:00:20Look at that. Amazing. Frightens me.

0:00:22 > 0:00:25# Sha-la-la, lala-lalala

0:00:26 > 0:00:29# Sha-la-la, lala-lalala

0:00:30 > 0:00:32# Sha-la-la, lala-lalala... #

0:00:34 > 0:00:36'This is Forever FM.'

0:00:36 > 0:00:39When I first started, Peter was my hero,

0:00:39 > 0:00:41like, he was the best.

0:00:41 > 0:00:43Here we go.

0:00:43 > 0:00:45Peter Kay is Peter Kay, is Peter Kay.

0:00:45 > 0:00:46MUSIC: Mr Blue Sky by ELO

0:00:46 > 0:00:50- He is a born entertainer. - Thank you very much.- You're welcome.

0:00:50 > 0:00:52- How much is that? - It's on the meter, mate.

0:00:52 > 0:00:54- Here's ten.- Thank you. - Give us two quid change.

0:00:54 > 0:00:56# The sun is shining in the sky... #

0:00:56 > 0:00:59When you work with someone you're so close with and you love,

0:00:59 > 0:01:02it's just the best feeling in the world.

0:01:03 > 0:01:05It's spitting, it's spitting! Everybody in!

0:01:05 > 0:01:09# Don't you know It's a beautiful new day... #

0:01:09 > 0:01:11Everything about Peter is funny.

0:01:15 > 0:01:18Peter has a way of making anybody laugh,

0:01:18 > 0:01:20even when he says nothing at all.

0:01:21 > 0:01:24When he's doing his stand-up, it's absolutely sublime.

0:01:24 > 0:01:28He's one of the funniest men that you'll ever meet.

0:01:28 > 0:01:30# Mr Blue Sky Please tell us why

0:01:30 > 0:01:34# You had to hide away for so long

0:01:34 > 0:01:37# So long Where did we go wrong? #

0:01:37 > 0:01:40His mental agility and his knowledge of...

0:01:40 > 0:01:42comedy is extraordinary.

0:01:46 > 0:01:48I mean, he still buys his clothes from Asda.

0:01:52 > 0:01:54In fact, now he's earning a few quid,

0:01:54 > 0:01:56he gets the odd thing from Marks & Spencer's.

0:01:57 > 0:02:00# Hey, you with the pretty face

0:02:00 > 0:02:03# Welcome to the human race... #

0:02:03 > 0:02:06He's got to be up there with the greats. He's got to be.

0:02:08 > 0:02:11He's been doing it for long enough, that's for sure.

0:02:11 > 0:02:14His knowledge and his desire to get things right,

0:02:14 > 0:02:15it's kind of a passion for him.

0:02:15 > 0:02:17The things I'm going to do to you.

0:02:17 > 0:02:20He's very funny, he's very talented

0:02:20 > 0:02:23and it was a privilege to work with him.

0:02:23 > 0:02:24My mother-in-law loves Peter.

0:02:27 > 0:02:30He's the most caring, loyal,

0:02:30 > 0:02:32funny friend.

0:02:35 > 0:02:37He just oozes funniness, doesn't he?

0:02:37 > 0:02:38Bastard.

0:02:38 > 0:02:40It's blue, Alan. It's blue! He's got me good.

0:02:40 > 0:02:42Excuse me!

0:02:43 > 0:02:46# Mr Blue, you did it right

0:02:46 > 0:02:49# But soon comes Mr Night

0:02:49 > 0:02:50# Creeping over

0:02:50 > 0:02:53# Now his hand is on your shoulder

0:02:53 > 0:02:57# Never mind I remember you this

0:02:57 > 0:02:59# I remember you this way

0:02:59 > 0:03:03# Mr Blue Sky Please tell us why... #

0:03:03 > 0:03:05Garlic?

0:03:05 > 0:03:07Where does Peter Kay sit...

0:03:07 > 0:03:08And bread?

0:03:08 > 0:03:10..in the pantheon of British comedy?

0:03:10 > 0:03:12Above Cannon, beneath Ball.

0:03:12 > 0:03:14Am I hearing you right?

0:03:15 > 0:03:19It's like encountering Jesus Christ or something like that!

0:03:19 > 0:03:21It this happening now?

0:03:21 > 0:03:23Oh, right - I didn't realise this was happening!

0:03:23 > 0:03:25- I thought we were pretending! - It's good!

0:03:25 > 0:03:28Let's make the programme. Let's make magic!

0:03:28 > 0:03:32# Mr Blue Sky. #

0:03:37 > 0:03:43I had a secret belief that I would be a comedian in the end, but, um...

0:03:43 > 0:03:45I would never say it to anybody

0:03:45 > 0:03:47because I'd be too shy,

0:03:47 > 0:03:48like Kajagoogoo.

0:03:54 > 0:03:56# You know how to squeeze me

0:03:56 > 0:03:58# Whoa-oa

0:03:58 > 0:04:00# You know how to please me

0:04:00 > 0:04:01# Whoa-oa

0:04:01 > 0:04:03# You don't make it easy. #

0:04:03 > 0:04:06I can't remember there being a key moment in making people laugh,

0:04:06 > 0:04:08I just felt it in class at school,

0:04:08 > 0:04:11I just felt like it was more

0:04:11 > 0:04:14interesting to make people laugh than to work.

0:04:15 > 0:04:17Although I did try to work.

0:04:17 > 0:04:19I always wanted to be out, me.

0:04:19 > 0:04:20Be first out when the bell went.

0:04:20 > 0:04:23You'd start packing everything away about two minutes before the bell.

0:04:23 > 0:04:27Put everything back in my pencil case, really discreetly.

0:04:28 > 0:04:32We'll still pretend I've got a pen, an imaginary pen, because they can't

0:04:32 > 0:04:35see, cos someone's sat in front, so you pretend you're writing.

0:04:35 > 0:04:37I've got a report from when I'm seven

0:04:37 > 0:04:39from Mrs Deakin, saying,

0:04:39 > 0:04:43"Peter likes nothing more than to amuse the children around him."

0:04:43 > 0:04:44Put your coat on, really discreetly...

0:04:53 > 0:04:57'All I was interested in was art and messing about.'

0:04:57 > 0:04:59WAHEY!

0:04:59 > 0:05:02Not in a bad way, like...setting fire to teachers.

0:05:02 > 0:05:04I used to like teachers with amnesia.

0:05:04 > 0:05:06Who do you think you are?

0:05:06 > 0:05:08How old are you?

0:05:08 > 0:05:09Where should you be now?

0:05:10 > 0:05:12Do you know who I am?

0:05:12 > 0:05:15But in those days, we weren't as sophisticated

0:05:15 > 0:05:18a society to know that people had actual conditions

0:05:18 > 0:05:21like ADHD or dyslexia or anything like that.

0:05:21 > 0:05:24You just put them on a thick table.

0:05:24 > 0:05:26Thick table, get on the thick table!

0:05:26 > 0:05:28Jason Patel.

0:05:33 > 0:05:35Paddy McGuinness? Thick table!

0:05:37 > 0:05:40He'd always be writing stories. I always remember that,

0:05:40 > 0:05:43cos I was the type of lad who used to like playing football on the

0:05:43 > 0:05:47streets, whereas Peter used to stay in a lot and do stuff like that.

0:05:47 > 0:05:51You'd go to his house, to his bedroom, he'd have loads of albums.

0:05:51 > 0:05:53I'd never seen anything like it.

0:05:53 > 0:05:55I'd sit with him and he'd start telling me

0:05:55 > 0:05:58these stories he'd written and I used to get really into it.

0:05:58 > 0:06:00Take a look at these.

0:06:02 > 0:06:04Six years' work here, Patrick.

0:06:06 > 0:06:08Even some drawings I've done of them.

0:06:08 > 0:06:12There's a helicopter. Magnet steals helicopter.

0:06:12 > 0:06:15He's got rockets on the helicopter, got lasers on the front.

0:06:15 > 0:06:16And who's drawn these? You?

0:06:16 > 0:06:19I spent my life studying comedy and going home,

0:06:19 > 0:06:23recording things on VHS, watching them back, writing stuff down,

0:06:23 > 0:06:26taping things off television, getting comedy LPs, listening to them.

0:06:26 > 0:06:29I mean, I had 500 VHSs, all comedy film.

0:06:29 > 0:06:33I just used to watch them, watch them again and that again

0:06:33 > 0:06:36felt like my apprenticeship, my studying of it all.

0:06:36 > 0:06:38I never went out!

0:06:38 > 0:06:41Well, I talk to people now and I know some obscure theme tune

0:06:41 > 0:06:44from 1987 or 1973 and they go,

0:06:44 > 0:06:46"Did you ever go out?" And I go, "No!"

0:06:46 > 0:06:51I did go out and I did go and play, but I just loved being in!

0:06:51 > 0:06:54I know people think I'm odd, you know.

0:06:54 > 0:06:57But I think everybody's odd.

0:06:57 > 0:07:00You, what hand do you wipe your bum with, you?

0:07:00 > 0:07:03- Go on - what hand do you wipe your bum with?- My left hand.

0:07:03 > 0:07:06Ah, you see, I use toilet paper. Eh?

0:07:06 > 0:07:09Who's odd now? You're odd.

0:07:09 > 0:07:11I first met Peter when we started

0:07:11 > 0:07:13secondary school,

0:07:13 > 0:07:15so Mount St Joseph's in Bolton.

0:07:15 > 0:07:17We were in the same form together.

0:07:17 > 0:07:20He was, I want to say class clown, but it seems a bit cliched.

0:07:20 > 0:07:23But he was always going for the laugh, which is

0:07:23 > 0:07:26the same as he is as an adult.

0:07:26 > 0:07:28Mr Bryce at our school, what an arsehole he were.

0:07:28 > 0:07:31Saw him at that school reunion, I wanted to wind him.

0:07:31 > 0:07:32Right weirdo.

0:07:32 > 0:07:34He didn't like me.

0:07:34 > 0:07:38"Is that what you're going to be when you grow up, Kay? A comedian?"

0:07:38 > 0:07:42We got to fifth year and they did the Wizard of Oz and I was the lion

0:07:42 > 0:07:45and they had these girls in third year dressed up as trees

0:07:45 > 0:07:48and they were just there, with like, stockings on

0:07:48 > 0:07:49and, erm...

0:07:49 > 0:07:52I cocked my leg up on one of them.

0:07:52 > 0:07:55And I remember the sound of the room

0:07:55 > 0:07:57just going mental

0:07:57 > 0:07:58and feeling,

0:07:58 > 0:08:03"Wow, I've just urinated on a third-year girl.

0:08:03 > 0:08:05"And it feels good!"

0:08:05 > 0:08:08Why do mums buy crap pop?

0:08:08 > 0:08:10Why? Why do they buy it?

0:08:10 > 0:08:12They go to the supermarket

0:08:12 > 0:08:15on Friday night, do their Friday big shop.

0:08:15 > 0:08:16They come back...

0:08:18 > 0:08:20They never buy... Rola cola.

0:08:20 > 0:08:22Rola cola.

0:08:22 > 0:08:24Eight litres for 40p.

0:08:24 > 0:08:26Crap pop, shit pop you don't want.

0:08:26 > 0:08:28"Get it drunk." "I'm not drinking it."

0:08:28 > 0:08:30"Get it drunk." "I'm not drinking it, Mum.

0:08:30 > 0:08:32"I wouldn't mop my drains out with this, it's crap."

0:08:32 > 0:08:35When I used to go to his house when we were kids, when you

0:08:35 > 0:08:40walked in their house, just that warmth, that niceness, you know.

0:08:40 > 0:08:41No money, nothing like that,

0:08:41 > 0:08:46just something about that family bond and just...

0:08:46 > 0:08:50Similar with Peter, with myself, our dads were around,

0:08:50 > 0:08:51but our mums brought us up, mainly.

0:08:51 > 0:08:55I think that was another thing that kind of drew me to Peter.

0:08:55 > 0:08:57She's in tonight, with me auntie.

0:08:57 > 0:08:58There they are. Hello, Mum.

0:08:58 > 0:09:01She's thinking, "Shut your mouth and get on with it."

0:09:01 > 0:09:02Water!

0:09:04 > 0:09:08Please. Now, for the love of God and all that is holy...

0:09:08 > 0:09:09Erm...

0:09:09 > 0:09:12Can I get a bottle of Volvic, please?

0:09:14 > 0:09:16I'd always work part-time from when I left school.

0:09:16 > 0:09:18I had loads and loads of jobs.

0:09:18 > 0:09:23I packed toilet rolls at Franny Lee's for £3.76 an hour.

0:09:23 > 0:09:24Esso garage, I worked at,

0:09:24 > 0:09:27£1.80 an hour. Loved that job.

0:09:27 > 0:09:31Er...I was an usher... in Bolton at the cinema.

0:09:31 > 0:09:34All the films for free and all the sweets you could eat off the floor.

0:09:34 > 0:09:37I worked at Top Rank Bingo, that was an awful job, that.

0:09:37 > 0:09:40Take Two Video, I worked there for four months at the back of Spar.

0:09:40 > 0:09:42And I got sacked for taking Tina Turner home.

0:09:42 > 0:09:45I got sacked from Bolton Octagon for telling Des Barnes

0:09:45 > 0:09:47he couldn't come in in white jeans...

0:09:47 > 0:09:48and I stand by that.

0:09:49 > 0:09:50I hate this job.

0:09:50 > 0:09:52This is the worst job I've ever had

0:09:52 > 0:09:54and I used to work in an 'arvester.

0:09:54 > 0:09:56That's saying something.

0:09:56 > 0:09:59What's got 90 balls and screws all the women?

0:09:59 > 0:10:00Bingo!

0:10:02 > 0:10:03You're laughing, it's true.

0:10:03 > 0:10:07I just used to get very bored, but I used to write everything down,

0:10:07 > 0:10:10so I would go to these jobs and I would either have a little

0:10:10 > 0:10:13pocket book, or I would come home at night and write down...

0:10:13 > 0:10:15I remember this lad at the garage once saying to me,

0:10:15 > 0:10:17"Why do you write everything down?"

0:10:17 > 0:10:19And I actually didn't have an answer for him, but I just felt like

0:10:19 > 0:10:23I had to log everything, just the way people talked,

0:10:23 > 0:10:25the way they said things at work.

0:10:25 > 0:10:28I used to soak it all up and write them down.

0:10:28 > 0:10:29I used to work in a shop, me,

0:10:29 > 0:10:32and I used to till stuff up when people came in.

0:10:32 > 0:10:35I'd say, "That's £3.42, please."

0:10:35 > 0:10:37"Do you want the 42?" "What?"

0:10:37 > 0:10:41"Do you want the 42?" "Yeah, I do."

0:10:42 > 0:10:45"Otherwise it would be three quid.

0:10:45 > 0:10:46"And that's not enough, is it?"

0:10:46 > 0:10:48And then, what I would do,

0:10:48 > 0:10:52I would meet with my friends outside of work, or sometimes

0:10:52 > 0:10:55even in work, in the canteen, and I would just regale all

0:10:55 > 0:10:59these stories and I would tell them this and make them laugh

0:10:59 > 0:11:03and they all used to say to me, "You should be on television.

0:11:03 > 0:11:06"You should be a comedian," and it used to really break my heart,

0:11:06 > 0:11:08because I knew it inside,

0:11:08 > 0:11:11but I used to think, "Yeah, but how do you?

0:11:11 > 0:11:13"How do you do it? How do you get in?"

0:11:13 > 0:11:17And for a few years, I really threw myself into full-time jobs.

0:11:17 > 0:11:20I just thought, no, it's not going to happen.

0:11:20 > 0:11:23I've got to knuckle down and face facts

0:11:23 > 0:11:27that this is what normal people do.

0:11:27 > 0:11:31They don't do what's in their hearts.

0:11:31 > 0:11:32And I didn't. And then...

0:11:34 > 0:11:35Erm, I did.

0:11:38 > 0:11:40That's shit, innit?

0:11:40 > 0:11:43MUSIC: Step On by Happy Mondays

0:11:50 > 0:11:53Young Peter's exactly the same as old Peter!

0:11:53 > 0:11:55He's always been 40!

0:11:57 > 0:11:59He'll hate me for that!

0:12:02 > 0:12:04I met him in university,

0:12:04 > 0:12:0620-something years ago.

0:12:06 > 0:12:08We were on a performing arts course

0:12:08 > 0:12:11and we became friends really quickly.

0:12:11 > 0:12:14I'm sure a pretty girl like you could be a caller if she wanted, eh?

0:12:14 > 0:12:16But I don't want.

0:12:16 > 0:12:19When I was your age, I'd have given my eye teeth to be a caller.

0:12:20 > 0:12:23Have you no ambition? What do you want to do with your life?

0:12:23 > 0:12:26I'm only here for the summer, then I'm back at uni.

0:12:27 > 0:12:29Uni. What are you studying there?

0:12:29 > 0:12:32Advanced economics, politics and European law.

0:12:35 > 0:12:38That's all very well and good, but where's that gonna get you?

0:12:38 > 0:12:41The first week of college, we had to put on these productions

0:12:41 > 0:12:44and it was like a getting-to-know people kind of thing.

0:12:44 > 0:12:46He was in a different group to me

0:12:46 > 0:12:49and we all had to watch each other do these plays

0:12:49 > 0:12:53and his group came on and they were doing a play about whatever.

0:12:53 > 0:12:54Peter came on dressed as a lion,

0:12:54 > 0:12:58the lion costume that he always drags out,

0:12:58 > 0:13:00and just sort of stole the show.

0:13:00 > 0:13:03Everyone just fell in love with him straightaway.

0:13:03 > 0:13:05Everyone just knew he was going to make it.

0:13:05 > 0:13:08He was the star of the year, kind of thing.

0:13:09 > 0:13:11Hello, love.

0:13:11 > 0:13:12Been waiting long?

0:13:14 > 0:13:17Makes you laugh, doesn't it, eh?

0:13:17 > 0:13:20Stand here and then four or five all come at once. A fleet of them.

0:13:20 > 0:13:22He was always so hard-working

0:13:22 > 0:13:24and I think he put everyone else to shame,

0:13:24 > 0:13:28because we were sort of typical lazy students and he was always the one

0:13:28 > 0:13:31who was doing sort of extra things

0:13:31 > 0:13:35and making films and we'd all be in the films and he'd be editing them,

0:13:35 > 0:13:37directing them, doing everything.

0:13:37 > 0:13:40Look, I've got 50p to my name and that'll go in the church box tonight.

0:13:40 > 0:13:42Live your life, that's my advice.

0:13:42 > 0:13:44I've plenty of friends and I'm never lonely.

0:13:44 > 0:13:46Plenty of life left in me yet.

0:13:46 > 0:13:50'In the second year, I took stand-up comedy.'

0:13:50 > 0:13:53We had to stand up each week in a class with...

0:13:53 > 0:13:57There were seven of us and the teacher would say,

0:13:57 > 0:14:01"Right, you need to go away and write about holidays, DIY...

0:14:03 > 0:14:06"..and Salman Rushdie."

0:14:06 > 0:14:10And then over the ten weeks, you would gather all this material

0:14:10 > 0:14:13and you would whittle it down to say, a five-minute act and then we

0:14:13 > 0:14:15went to this pub up the road

0:14:15 > 0:14:18and about 100 people come in, some were punters

0:14:18 > 0:14:20and some were people from college,

0:14:20 > 0:14:22and you had to get up and perform.

0:14:22 > 0:14:25I got a water infection and I went t'doctor and I told him

0:14:25 > 0:14:26that I'd got a water infection.

0:14:26 > 0:14:29And he said, "We'll send you to see someone at the hospital."

0:14:29 > 0:14:32So I waited 11 months

0:14:32 > 0:14:34and went to see this woman... LAUGHTER

0:14:34 > 0:14:35What's the fucking...?

0:14:35 > 0:14:37What's funny about that?

0:14:37 > 0:14:39Wha...?!

0:14:39 > 0:14:41What? Have you got a water infection?

0:14:41 > 0:14:43- Yeah!- Have ya?!

0:14:45 > 0:14:46Really?

0:14:46 > 0:14:48It's like fire when it comes out.

0:14:48 > 0:14:52No, it is! It's nothing to laugh at, it's not, honest to God!

0:14:52 > 0:14:55He was just a natural.

0:14:55 > 0:14:56It's done.

0:14:56 > 0:14:58It went well, it did... Um...

0:15:00 > 0:15:01I'm...

0:15:01 > 0:15:03It's better than sex!

0:15:03 > 0:15:05Well, better than the sex I've had, anyway!

0:15:05 > 0:15:07Seeing him, he was so good

0:15:07 > 0:15:09and then everyone kind of started going to see him

0:15:09 > 0:15:12and he had his own little fan base going to see him and he played

0:15:12 > 0:15:15the Frog And Bucket in Manchester and we all used to go and watch him.

0:15:15 > 0:15:18Before we start, I want to tell you we lost my grandad last night.

0:15:18 > 0:15:20He's not dead, he's in Netto somewhere.

0:15:20 > 0:15:23I first became aware of Peter

0:15:23 > 0:15:25in about 1997,

0:15:25 > 0:15:27'98 and...

0:15:27 > 0:15:29I was working in a comedy club,

0:15:29 > 0:15:30collecting glasses.

0:15:30 > 0:15:34It used to sell fairly well and just this one week, this one Thursday,

0:15:34 > 0:15:37I was getting to work and there was people queuing at six o'clock.

0:15:37 > 0:15:39And Peter was the big draw,

0:15:39 > 0:15:42he was the guy that everyone was sort of looking forward to seeing.

0:15:42 > 0:15:45All these disc jockeys under the impression at weddings

0:15:45 > 0:15:47you can understand what they're saying when they...

0:15:47 > 0:15:50MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY

0:15:50 > 0:15:52..good times!

0:15:53 > 0:15:55HE MUMBLES

0:15:55 > 0:15:57..buffet's ready.

0:15:57 > 0:15:59There was just something about him

0:15:59 > 0:16:02in that room with those people.

0:16:02 > 0:16:06The warmth that went to the stage and FROM the stage

0:16:06 > 0:16:08was unparalleled.

0:16:08 > 0:16:11I'd just never seen anything like it before, it was magic.

0:16:11 > 0:16:14I looked at other comedians and they were all talking about sex,

0:16:14 > 0:16:17or drugs or getting drunk.

0:16:17 > 0:16:22Well, I didn't drink and I'd had sex, ish.

0:16:22 > 0:16:24No filth, simple as.

0:16:24 > 0:16:26No smut, no swearing,

0:16:26 > 0:16:28no racism, right?

0:16:28 > 0:16:29No queer or lezzie stuff - we don't

0:16:29 > 0:16:31go there. It's a family club.

0:16:31 > 0:16:34There's a picture of Her Majesty the Queen out there and as far as

0:16:34 > 0:16:37you lot are concerned, she may as well be sat on the front row.

0:16:37 > 0:16:39- Do I make myself crystal?- Yeah.

0:16:39 > 0:16:42I just thought, I'll talk about the things I know about, which were

0:16:42 > 0:16:46me mum and family and these part-time jobs

0:16:46 > 0:16:50and that's what then turned into my style.

0:16:50 > 0:16:52I didn't think, "Oh, I'll be this person."

0:16:52 > 0:16:57I think you've just got to talk from where you feel most comfortable.

0:16:57 > 0:17:00I used to work in a bingo hall in Bolton.

0:17:00 > 0:17:02That were a bad job.

0:17:02 > 0:17:05Pensioners, like working with the cast of Cocoon.

0:17:05 > 0:17:07He developed a following

0:17:07 > 0:17:08very, very quickly,

0:17:08 > 0:17:10because he's so accessible

0:17:10 > 0:17:11and he's so of the people

0:17:11 > 0:17:12and people really associate

0:17:12 > 0:17:14with what he's talking about.

0:17:14 > 0:17:18He was needed at that time, he was exactly what was needed at that

0:17:18 > 0:17:22time, because he talked about stuff that everybody appreciated.

0:17:22 > 0:17:24Bingo caller used to come on and say, "Hello, everybody, I'm Tom,

0:17:24 > 0:17:26"welcome to bingo. Hello, girls.

0:17:26 > 0:17:29"The lady at the back of the hall in the wheelchair sadly collapsed

0:17:29 > 0:17:32"and died this morning at Bolton Royal Infirmary, but don't worry,

0:17:32 > 0:17:33"we sent her a wreath from bingo.

0:17:33 > 0:17:37"Off you go, blue kick-off line, it's any four numbers across..."

0:17:37 > 0:17:39She's dead! Is no-one bothered?

0:17:39 > 0:17:41I started to get people ringing our house saying,

0:17:41 > 0:17:45"Can you come and play my club?" I'd say, "How much?"

0:17:45 > 0:17:48They would say, "It's 35 quid."

0:17:48 > 0:17:50And then I'd be like... (35 quid?!)

0:17:50 > 0:17:52(Jesus!)

0:17:52 > 0:17:56Like, cos I were on 35 quid for doing a week's shift as an usher.

0:17:56 > 0:17:58Then, they'd go...

0:17:58 > 0:18:01"Oh, go on, then, 45," thinking I'm playing hard to get,

0:18:01 > 0:18:03and I'm going...

0:18:03 > 0:18:06So...I couldn't believe it.

0:18:06 > 0:18:08Tom O'Connor, he started in one of my clubs.

0:18:08 > 0:18:11First club he ever did, one of mine, he got 35 quid. Did very well.

0:18:11 > 0:18:13Wanted to come back, said he wanted 45,

0:18:13 > 0:18:16I said, "We'll give you 40, but we'll let you win the raffle."

0:18:16 > 0:18:17Used to, in them days.

0:18:17 > 0:18:21- Next stop, Name That Tune, he didn't want to know us then, did he?- No, no.

0:18:21 > 0:18:23I've always said it - the higher a monkey climbs,

0:18:23 > 0:18:24the more you can see its arse.

0:18:24 > 0:18:26So what I'd do, I'd work as an usher

0:18:26 > 0:18:30and I used to say to Mrs Whitworth, "Do you mind if I go early

0:18:30 > 0:18:33"on Saturday night, cos I've got a booking," and she'd be like, "Go on, then."

0:18:33 > 0:18:36So God love her, they'd let me go early and I'd go and do my gigs

0:18:36 > 0:18:39and then eventually,

0:18:39 > 0:18:42they opened a multiplex in Bolton,

0:18:42 > 0:18:43so I became a full-time comedian!

0:18:49 > 0:18:52Live from the top of the tower,

0:18:52 > 0:18:54it's Peter Kay!

0:18:56 > 0:19:00You'll never beat live performance, because it's about everyone being

0:19:00 > 0:19:04there and feeling it and I think that's what, when you do stand-up,

0:19:04 > 0:19:07you can look at it and think, "Yeah, but there's one tiny person."

0:19:07 > 0:19:10But it's about that one person versus

0:19:10 > 0:19:14the entire room and...can you do it?

0:19:14 > 0:19:16Hello, everybody!

0:19:16 > 0:19:19There is no grey area - they either laugh or they don't,

0:19:19 > 0:19:20it doesn't matter.

0:19:20 > 0:19:23It doesn't matter who you are, they will or they won't laugh.

0:19:23 > 0:19:26It's got to be funny and you've got to work hard,

0:19:26 > 0:19:28but it's just...

0:19:28 > 0:19:31It's amazing when you do it.

0:19:31 > 0:19:33Your dad ever do that really embarrassing thing

0:19:33 > 0:19:36when you went to the seaside, he'd get you in a headlock?

0:19:36 > 0:19:39In a headlock whenever a police car went past... Nee-nar-nee-nar...

0:19:39 > 0:19:41"I've got him! I've got him, he's here!

0:19:41 > 0:19:45"He's here, I've got you! They've come for you, look! He's here!"

0:19:45 > 0:19:48"Get off me, Dad, I'll break your back. I'm 26, leave me alone."

0:19:49 > 0:19:52The thing you can do when you watch Peter, you can go, "Well,

0:19:52 > 0:19:55"all he's doing is picking some funny things that we might remember,"

0:19:55 > 0:19:58or things that we've seen ourselves,

0:19:58 > 0:20:00but actually, it's how he does it

0:20:00 > 0:20:04and what he picks that resonates something in our brains.

0:20:04 > 0:20:06There's a nostalgia to it.

0:20:06 > 0:20:08Big light! Why did people say that?

0:20:08 > 0:20:10"Put the big light on."

0:20:11 > 0:20:14"Put the big light on, I'm doing a crossword."

0:20:14 > 0:20:16"But the big light on." The 2,000-watt bulb!

0:20:17 > 0:20:19"Put the big light on..."

0:20:19 > 0:20:21You see his audiences in his stand-up

0:20:21 > 0:20:23and very few people can perform

0:20:23 > 0:20:25to teenagers and the elderly

0:20:25 > 0:20:26and get them both cracking up

0:20:26 > 0:20:27laughing, belly laughing.

0:20:27 > 0:20:31Do you ever dip your biscuit in your tea and it breaks? Ever do that?

0:20:31 > 0:20:34I swear to God now, you never get used to that.

0:20:34 > 0:20:36As you get older and you dip your biscuit in...

0:20:36 > 0:20:38Cos you don't know when it's gonna fall.

0:20:38 > 0:20:40And you panic.

0:20:40 > 0:20:43It's like out of body...

0:20:43 > 0:20:45It's like slow-motion.

0:20:45 > 0:20:47M-u-u-u-u-u-um!

0:20:48 > 0:20:51Get a spoon!

0:20:52 > 0:20:57Me biscuit's fallen in me brew!

0:20:57 > 0:21:00That puts him in a category that's quite rare.

0:21:00 > 0:21:05I think maybe Billy Connolly, Robin Williams, Victoria Wood,

0:21:05 > 0:21:10but not many people can reach that many people of that range

0:21:10 > 0:21:13and really genuinely get them to crack up.

0:21:13 > 0:21:15A-a-a-a-rgh!

0:21:15 > 0:21:17Bastard!

0:21:18 > 0:21:20Burning me fingers!

0:21:20 > 0:21:25Peter's quite unique in that he's a brilliant observation comedian,

0:21:25 > 0:21:27but he's also a very, very gifted

0:21:27 > 0:21:29comic actor

0:21:29 > 0:21:31and it's not many people

0:21:31 > 0:21:34who can do both of those things.

0:21:34 > 0:21:36Listen to me, that's your side

0:21:36 > 0:21:38of the garden and that's mine.

0:21:38 > 0:21:40Stay away from my side!

0:21:40 > 0:21:41Do you understand?

0:21:41 > 0:21:43Dad, he's a tortoise. He can't understand, can he?

0:21:43 > 0:21:46Oh, he understands, all right.

0:21:46 > 0:21:47And another thing,

0:21:47 > 0:21:49stay out of the front room, got it?

0:21:51 > 0:21:54I always wanted to be a comic actor.

0:21:54 > 0:21:57I'd seen John Thompson and Steve Coogan start doing stand-up

0:21:57 > 0:22:03on Grenada and then they'd evolved into getting comic acting parts.

0:22:03 > 0:22:06Cos I didn't know anything about casting directors,

0:22:06 > 0:22:09but I thought they seemed pretty...

0:22:10 > 0:22:12..blinkered in their casting of parts

0:22:12 > 0:22:14and I thought, "Well, did they see you?"

0:22:14 > 0:22:16They might think, you know,

0:22:16 > 0:22:19he can be funny removal man number one. He'll do.

0:22:21 > 0:22:23- Mr Flitch?- Yeah.- Sign here, please.

0:22:23 > 0:22:26- Thanks.- Sammy, it's here!

0:22:26 > 0:22:28The furniture's arrived.

0:22:28 > 0:22:32That was the first thing I'd ever done as a proper drama thing.

0:22:32 > 0:22:35But I wanted to use stand-up to get into comic acting,

0:22:35 > 0:22:37cos that felt like the meat.

0:22:37 > 0:22:41Stand-up felt like a bit of a laugh, hopefully!

0:22:41 > 0:22:46But the burning desire for me was to take something that you'd

0:22:46 > 0:22:49written and turn it into something that was on television.

0:22:56 > 0:22:58The Comedy Lab series at Channel 4

0:22:58 > 0:23:00was designed to bring on young comedians,

0:23:00 > 0:23:02young producers, writers,

0:23:02 > 0:23:05to do stuff that they might have trouble getting away elsewhere.

0:23:05 > 0:23:07I must've driven down here a million times.

0:23:07 > 0:23:10It still brings the hairs up on the back of me neck, though.

0:23:10 > 0:23:13Peter's Comedy Lab was called The Services and it was really,

0:23:13 > 0:23:16really funny and you could immediately see that he

0:23:16 > 0:23:18wasn't just a stand-up comedian.

0:23:18 > 0:23:22He was a comic actor, he was a writer, he thought like a producer.

0:23:22 > 0:23:26'It's 8am and time for dayshift roll call.'

0:23:26 > 0:23:27Morning, team.

0:23:28 > 0:23:31You may or may not have realised that we've got a camera crew in today from

0:23:31 > 0:23:35Channel 4 in London and they're here doing a documentary on our services.

0:23:35 > 0:23:38Just giving a bit of an insight into what goes on, so... Alison,

0:23:38 > 0:23:40are you chewing?

0:23:40 > 0:23:42Spit it out, please, love, in the bin.

0:23:42 > 0:23:43'At the time, on the BBC, and on ITV,

0:23:43 > 0:23:46'there were a lot of these fly-on-the-wall documentaries'

0:23:46 > 0:23:48like The Hotel, Lakesiders,

0:23:48 > 0:23:50The Cruise, Paddington Green

0:23:50 > 0:23:52and they were very popular.

0:23:52 > 0:23:55It was the start of this fly-on-the-wall reality thing.

0:23:55 > 0:23:59And I just thought, "I want to send this up."

0:23:59 > 0:24:02Yeah. Yeah, I might get a chat show - I never thought of that.

0:24:02 > 0:24:05Esther... Kilroy!

0:24:05 > 0:24:08Mm. Look at that Mo, she only passed her driving test.

0:24:08 > 0:24:10She had a record in the top 40!

0:24:10 > 0:24:13I thought I'd like to do multiple parts, which I thought was

0:24:13 > 0:24:15beneficial for them, cos they won't have any money.

0:24:15 > 0:24:18My name's Utah. That's my Wild West name.

0:24:18 > 0:24:19My real name's Craig.

0:24:19 > 0:24:21'So if I play all the characters, that'll save 'em

0:24:21 > 0:24:25'some money, plus I can have a play and try and push myself, cos if'

0:24:25 > 0:24:28you've got an empty piece of paper, push yourself, you know!

0:24:28 > 0:24:31That's a foot spa, a health spa

0:24:31 > 0:24:33and a £20 voucher for your local Spar,

0:24:33 > 0:24:36so near so - these fantastic prizes -

0:24:36 > 0:24:40and all available today on Chorley FM, your favourite waste of time!

0:24:40 > 0:24:42# You're my... # RECORD JUMPS

0:24:42 > 0:24:46# ..Mine

0:24:46 > 0:24:49# You're my favourite waste of time... #

0:24:49 > 0:24:52Peter said to me, "Do you want to do a little bit in this?"

0:24:52 > 0:24:54'No money or anything like that.'

0:24:54 > 0:24:56Who's that dick?

0:24:56 > 0:24:58I had lovely long, curly hair in it.

0:24:58 > 0:24:59Them were the days.

0:25:02 > 0:25:04I had no ambitions of doing any telly.

0:25:04 > 0:25:08Anything like that, it was just...a laugh, to me.

0:25:10 > 0:25:14I don't care whose it is, I don't care what it is, it's floating.

0:25:14 > 0:25:18That was the first time that I ever realised television was tangible,

0:25:18 > 0:25:23that it was something that could be done by somebody like Peter,

0:25:23 > 0:25:26or like me, or like one of my mates.

0:25:26 > 0:25:29It was something that I just saw and just thought it was so funny,

0:25:29 > 0:25:31it was so brilliantly funny.

0:25:34 > 0:25:37I'd heard Woody Allen say about writing about what you know about.

0:25:37 > 0:25:40I know about Bolton. I know about where I live.

0:25:40 > 0:25:44I took all these different people that I knew

0:25:44 > 0:25:49and they inspired me to write this six half-hours and set it in Bolton.

0:25:49 > 0:25:52MUSIC: Vienna by Ultravox

0:25:52 > 0:25:53Growing up, I went to a lot

0:25:53 > 0:25:55of working men's clubs

0:25:55 > 0:25:56and used to have Christmas parties

0:25:56 > 0:25:57at working men's clubs

0:25:57 > 0:25:59and I thought, "No-one's done a club."

0:25:59 > 0:26:02They'd done Wheeltappers and Shunters as a variety, but no-one's

0:26:02 > 0:26:06done a working men's club and I'm drawn to the tragedy of things.

0:26:06 > 0:26:10HE SINGS OVER THE TRACK: # Oh, Vienna... #

0:26:10 > 0:26:12It was just a world that demanded

0:26:12 > 0:26:13exploring, really,

0:26:13 > 0:26:15cos you walk through those doors

0:26:15 > 0:26:17and they were community centres,

0:26:17 > 0:26:20they were social centres, anybody could walk in the door.

0:26:20 > 0:26:23It was a natural setting for a comedy, basically.

0:26:23 > 0:26:25- I thought that dwarf were good. - What dwarf?

0:26:25 > 0:26:28- Sang Fly Me To The Moon. - No, that were me.

0:26:29 > 0:26:30Really?

0:26:30 > 0:26:34Brian started in the pilot episode and he was named after

0:26:34 > 0:26:36Mr Potter in It's A Wonderful Life, who's in a wheelchair.

0:26:36 > 0:26:39I didn't want to particularly make that a huge comedy...

0:26:39 > 0:26:42In fact, sometimes I even forget he's in a wheelchair.

0:26:42 > 0:26:47But I wanted the character to just be a curmudgeon character

0:26:47 > 0:26:48and a miserable person.

0:26:48 > 0:26:51How much? For pasties?

0:26:51 > 0:26:54They've trebled in price. What's in them? Venison?

0:26:54 > 0:26:56I know it's dear, it's bloody extortionate!

0:26:56 > 0:26:58You had this real character

0:26:58 > 0:27:00with a real disability

0:27:00 > 0:27:03and that disability did not define

0:27:03 > 0:27:05the character in the slightest

0:27:05 > 0:27:07and I was very interested in the way that he did that.

0:27:07 > 0:27:10I can see! First rule of any backing band is all black, now get them off.

0:27:10 > 0:27:13- You wearing brown shoes, Alan?- No!

0:27:13 > 0:27:15- You know the rules. Get them off.- Told you.

0:27:15 > 0:27:18- You get piss-all past Ironside. - I heard that, Les.

0:27:18 > 0:27:20'So I did That Peter Kay Thing'

0:27:20 > 0:27:22and at the end of it, I looked back at what

0:27:22 > 0:27:26had the potential to become its own series

0:27:26 > 0:27:30and it was the club episode, which became Phoenix Nights.

0:27:30 > 0:27:34MUSIC: Intro to Ooh, Ah, Just A Little Bit

0:27:46 > 0:27:48When I wrote That Peter Kay Thing,

0:27:48 > 0:27:50I'd written it with two other writers.

0:27:50 > 0:27:53I'd written it with Dave Spikey.

0:27:53 > 0:27:55- TO MEN IN BLACK MELODY: - # Come and get your black bin bags

0:27:57 > 0:27:59# They're on offer till December... #

0:27:59 > 0:28:01And Neil Fitzmaurice.

0:28:01 > 0:28:04- Ray Von. - Ray who?- Von. As in, "RAVE ON!"

0:28:04 > 0:28:06- Is it your turn?- No, he's a spark.

0:28:06 > 0:28:08When it came to Phoenix Nights,

0:28:08 > 0:28:11it had worked on That Peter Kay Thing, so we just transferred it

0:28:11 > 0:28:14to Phoenix Nights and we got an office in Bolton.

0:28:14 > 0:28:16We just used to treat it like a full-time job.

0:28:16 > 0:28:20We'd meet every day, from nine till five...

0:28:20 > 0:28:22Er... Well, half ten.

0:28:22 > 0:28:25Neil would spend about two hours putting the world to rights

0:28:25 > 0:28:28about what had been on television the night before

0:28:28 > 0:28:32and Dave would come in with loads of stuff he'd written and I'd

0:28:32 > 0:28:35have it all on a whiteboard, written out what we thought,

0:28:35 > 0:28:38and we'd work out what the episodes were and then we just used to write

0:28:38 > 0:28:40and write and write

0:28:40 > 0:28:43and we wouldn't move on until we knew that it worked and it was funny.

0:28:43 > 0:28:47Let's hear it for Albert! Albert's a registered diabetic.

0:28:47 > 0:28:51Come on, the louder you scream, the faster the ride!

0:28:51 > 0:28:53Those are the rules, folks - come on!

0:28:54 > 0:28:57What else are you gonna do on your afternoons?

0:28:57 > 0:28:59Come on, son!

0:28:59 > 0:29:01Here we go! Come on!

0:29:01 > 0:29:04- There he is!- Who?- Ray Von.

0:29:04 > 0:29:06- Look at him, he thinks he's back on the waltzers.- Aye.

0:29:06 > 0:29:08Look at this lot, though - I've not seen them this excited

0:29:08 > 0:29:11since they printed that paedophile's address in t'paper.

0:29:11 > 0:29:13'I also cast a lot of stand-up comedians in the parts.'

0:29:13 > 0:29:15Oh, shit - not another one.

0:29:15 > 0:29:17'Because I thought they'd be brilliant actors.

0:29:17 > 0:29:19'Because they've got them skills...'

0:29:19 > 0:29:22Cos when you're on stage, you're acting.

0:29:22 > 0:29:25It's called an act and I thought some of them couldn't do it,

0:29:25 > 0:29:28but some could... I don't mean... The ones that couldn't do it,

0:29:28 > 0:29:31we didn't cast, but the ones that could, we did.

0:29:31 > 0:29:33That sounds like the ones I cast couldn't do it, but they could do it.

0:29:33 > 0:29:35You know what I mean.

0:29:35 > 0:29:36So I woke up, rolled over,

0:29:36 > 0:29:38guess who's lying next to me?

0:29:38 > 0:29:40- Bonnie Langford!- Look at that lot.

0:29:41 > 0:29:44They're like pigs on heat.

0:29:44 > 0:29:45Nearly broke her back.

0:29:45 > 0:29:48Justin Moorhouse, Steve Edge and Janice Connelly,

0:29:48 > 0:29:52they were all comics who were on the circuit in the north-west

0:29:52 > 0:29:54and so these were people who were...

0:29:54 > 0:29:56They'd be able to take what Peter wrote

0:29:56 > 0:29:58and then even add 10% themselves.

0:29:58 > 0:30:01And that's all down to Peter knowing,

0:30:01 > 0:30:03"Well, let's get these guys in.

0:30:03 > 0:30:06"These guys are already funny, so throw a funny script at them

0:30:06 > 0:30:08"and you get magic."

0:30:08 > 0:30:10Don't shoot the messenger.

0:30:10 > 0:30:12I'm only telling you what the spirits are telling me.

0:30:12 > 0:30:15AUDIENCE GRUMBLING

0:30:17 > 0:30:18HUSH DESCENDS

0:30:19 > 0:30:22Now...I'm getting the word...

0:30:25 > 0:30:26.."nonce".

0:30:26 > 0:30:28GASPING

0:30:28 > 0:30:31The continuity was shit, because they didn't have a clue.

0:30:31 > 0:30:34They'd be giving it cigarette that hand and that hand, and drink...

0:30:34 > 0:30:37But if you could edit round that and get to the gold,

0:30:37 > 0:30:39the timing was spot-on.

0:30:39 > 0:30:42And the stuff that they did was something that other actors

0:30:42 > 0:30:43would struggle with.

0:30:43 > 0:30:46I think I see Ironside's copped off here. Hey!

0:30:48 > 0:30:49MAX: Go on, Brian.

0:30:49 > 0:30:52The sad thing about Brian is that there was a slight hint about him

0:30:52 > 0:30:58possibly being slightly lonely and not having a love interest, which...

0:30:58 > 0:31:04It's my favourite episode, the one where he actually falls for somebody

0:31:04 > 0:31:07who ends up being from the DHSS.

0:31:07 > 0:31:10- We could go out sometime, if you wanted?- Who, us?

0:31:12 > 0:31:14- Yeah.- Oh.

0:31:14 > 0:31:19- I mean...- Oh, aye, I'd like that. - We can do that, if you want?

0:31:19 > 0:31:22- I'd like that very much. - Great. Lovely.- Yeah.

0:31:25 > 0:31:27It was nice that he met somebody

0:31:27 > 0:31:30and then he fell completely in love with her.

0:31:30 > 0:31:32And Joanne Wright was amazing in that.

0:31:35 > 0:31:37Most of the time, people don't recognise me

0:31:37 > 0:31:41because the wig was so all-consuming, wasn't it?

0:31:41 > 0:31:43In fact, I think the first thing I said about that wig was,

0:31:43 > 0:31:46"I don't know whether to put it on or take it for a walk,"

0:31:46 > 0:31:48because it was so big and sort of...

0:31:49 > 0:31:50It was just big.

0:31:52 > 0:31:55'That scene where they're going up the stairs, I think,

0:31:55 > 0:31:59'is a really brilliant example of Peter's craft.'

0:31:59 > 0:32:01Won't be long now.

0:32:06 > 0:32:07Just you wait.

0:32:12 > 0:32:14The things I'm gonna do to you...

0:32:14 > 0:32:17The silence is as important as the line he says, you know,

0:32:17 > 0:32:19"The things I'm gonna do to you."

0:32:19 > 0:32:22But all that space around that line is beautiful.

0:32:25 > 0:32:27Prostitutes are rough in Amsterdam.

0:32:27 > 0:32:31The first one I went with made me wash me old man in t'sink.

0:32:32 > 0:32:34You took your dad?

0:32:34 > 0:32:37Peter said, "You know, there's this doorman, Paddy.

0:32:37 > 0:32:39"And, um, do you wanna have a go at doing it?"

0:32:39 > 0:32:41And I said, "I'd love to."

0:32:41 > 0:32:43THEY CHEER

0:32:43 > 0:32:45# We're Bolton, we're barmy and we're on the march tonight... #

0:32:45 > 0:32:46How far away are they?

0:32:46 > 0:32:48# ..We're Bolton, we're barmy

0:32:48 > 0:32:50# We're on the march tonight. #

0:32:50 > 0:32:52And he said, "Right, well, the first audition's in London,"

0:32:52 > 0:32:56and I'm like, "Whoa. Excuse me, old school ties and all that."

0:32:56 > 0:32:59But he didn't have as much sway in those days, so I went

0:32:59 > 0:33:01for an audition in London and he really dug his heels in for me.

0:33:01 > 0:33:05I mean, really dug his heels in. Thank the Lord, they gave me the part.

0:33:05 > 0:33:07MUSIC: "I Could Be So Good For You" by Dennis Waterman

0:33:07 > 0:33:11Max and Paddy always felt like a bit of a separate entity, because I was

0:33:11 > 0:33:15playing two parts, so I couldn't be a lot of the time with Brian,

0:33:15 > 0:33:17cos I was Brian.

0:33:17 > 0:33:22# If you want to I'll change the situation... #

0:33:22 > 0:33:24They'd started off as characters on the door,

0:33:24 > 0:33:26so they felt like they were in their own little domain.

0:33:26 > 0:33:29I'd always been fascinated with spin-off series.

0:33:29 > 0:33:31There hadn't been one for a long, long time on British television

0:33:31 > 0:33:33and I thought, "Why don't we just try that?"

0:33:33 > 0:33:37- # ..I've got a good idea... # - PHONE RINGS

0:33:37 > 0:33:40PHONE RINGS OUT What are they doing?

0:33:40 > 0:33:43# Don't know where we're going Got no way of knowing

0:33:43 > 0:33:45# Driving on the road to nowhere

0:33:47 > 0:33:50# Sponging for a living Checking out the women

0:33:50 > 0:33:52# Riding on the road to nowhere

0:33:53 > 0:33:56# And we don't take shit from anyone

0:33:56 > 0:34:00# The only thing we want to do is have some fun

0:34:00 > 0:34:04- # We're Max and Paddy - Paddy and Max

0:34:04 > 0:34:07# And best of all We don't pay council tax. #

0:34:08 > 0:34:10I'd known Patrick all my life.

0:34:10 > 0:34:14We'd grown up together and there's something invaluable about that,

0:34:14 > 0:34:16that's invested over time.

0:34:16 > 0:34:20I wouldn't have imagined that we would end up writing together.

0:34:20 > 0:34:24- And what's that supposed to mean?- In a nutshell, you stink.- How dare you!

0:34:25 > 0:34:30How dare you! I have a good stand-up wash in that sink once a week.

0:34:30 > 0:34:33Once a week? Stray dogs wash more than that.

0:34:33 > 0:34:38I remember writing that series and just laughing, just always laughing.

0:34:38 > 0:34:43Laughing about stuff we'd seen on telly, stuff that'd happened to us.

0:34:43 > 0:34:46It's the only thing I've ever worked on where

0:34:46 > 0:34:47I looked forward to going into work.

0:34:47 > 0:34:50MUSIC: "Let's Hear It For The Boy" by Deniece Williams

0:34:50 > 0:34:55- Now, the most important thing to remember is balance.- Balance.- Yes.

0:34:55 > 0:34:58- Balance.- Give me a spin.- Yeah.

0:34:58 > 0:35:00That's it, that's right. You've got it.

0:35:00 > 0:35:05- Is that it?- You're a natural. I like it, Max, I like it.

0:35:05 > 0:35:07CRUNCH, MAX GASPS

0:35:07 > 0:35:09HIGH PITCHED: Oh, my God, go and get help.

0:35:09 > 0:35:12My balls have gone up into my stomach.

0:35:12 > 0:35:16Me and Paddy, when we were filming, we'd just do one look

0:35:16 > 0:35:20and you'd know what the other one was thinking, and that felt so special.

0:35:20 > 0:35:25And he always makes me really laugh.

0:35:25 > 0:35:27Let go.

0:35:27 > 0:35:28Let go now.

0:35:30 > 0:35:32PADDY LAUGHS

0:35:32 > 0:35:33Oh, God. Come on.

0:35:38 > 0:35:39Let go.

0:35:39 > 0:35:42PADDY LAUGHS

0:35:42 > 0:35:43It must be a nightmare for him

0:35:43 > 0:35:46when he's making something and directing stuff,

0:35:46 > 0:35:48when he's got his friends in it,

0:35:48 > 0:35:51because you turn up with your lines and doing your scene

0:35:51 > 0:35:54and off you go, and he's piecing it all together and editing it

0:35:54 > 0:35:56and making sure the shots are right, and everything else.

0:35:56 > 0:35:59- It's the Wolfster.- You what?

0:35:59 > 0:36:01Here in the paper, there.

0:36:01 > 0:36:03The Wolfster.

0:36:05 > 0:36:06- BLEEP.- I'm showing you.

0:36:06 > 0:36:09- I've- BLEEP- looked four times. - You've got lines, but...

0:36:09 > 0:36:11I've not! You go on, "It's for you."

0:36:11 > 0:36:16- You say, "It's for you."- I didn't know you were going off cue lines!

0:36:16 > 0:36:17Oh, sorry!

0:36:17 > 0:36:19My mistake.

0:36:19 > 0:36:22There was me working off scripts!

0:36:22 > 0:36:23- BLEEP- first time!

0:36:23 > 0:36:26We had a really good laugh making that scene.

0:36:26 > 0:36:28We wrote more series of it.

0:36:28 > 0:36:31We wrote more specials but we've never got together and made 'em

0:36:31 > 0:36:33because of...

0:36:33 > 0:36:35Take Me Out.

0:36:35 > 0:36:39# Every night I've been hugging my pillow

0:36:39 > 0:36:41# Dreaming dreams of Amarillo

0:36:41 > 0:36:44# And sweet Marie who waits for me. #

0:36:44 > 0:36:47Come on, sing along!

0:36:47 > 0:36:49MUSIC CONTINUES

0:36:49 > 0:36:52My mum had five records and one of 'em

0:36:52 > 0:36:56was the Best Of Tony Christie. It was a single. I'm only kidding.

0:36:56 > 0:37:00We used to play Amarillo and it stuck with me.

0:37:02 > 0:37:05# Sha la la la la la la la

0:37:05 > 0:37:08# Sha la la la la la la la

0:37:08 > 0:37:12# Sha la la la la la la la... #

0:37:13 > 0:37:16One of the things that people like with comedians is joy

0:37:16 > 0:37:18and that Amarillo thing, that look

0:37:18 > 0:37:20on his face, when he burst through

0:37:20 > 0:37:21the door, of total joy,

0:37:21 > 0:37:23that's a wonderful quality.

0:37:23 > 0:37:29# When the day is dawning On a Texas Sunday morning... #

0:37:29 > 0:37:33It was number one for seven weeks and everyone was doing the walk and

0:37:33 > 0:37:39the song and I didn't even ever set out to do anything like that.

0:37:39 > 0:37:42Or do a walk. That's my actual walk...

0:37:42 > 0:37:45if you don't mind. I march everywhere.

0:37:45 > 0:37:47# ..Keeps me going

0:37:47 > 0:37:51# Through the wind and rain

0:37:51 > 0:37:55# Is this the way to Amarillo? #

0:37:55 > 0:37:58People loved it... especially Tony Christie.

0:37:58 > 0:38:01God, he had a resurgence. I didn't even know who he was.

0:38:01 > 0:38:03# ..And sweet Marie who waits for me... #

0:38:03 > 0:38:05We got these travelators,

0:38:05 > 0:38:09they must've been off Swap Shop or summat. They'd been around for years.

0:38:09 > 0:38:11Michael Parkinson, God love him,

0:38:11 > 0:38:13turned up with Ronnie Corbett and started walking.

0:38:13 > 0:38:17Ronnie is dicking about a bit, trying to get laughs,

0:38:17 > 0:38:19doing all this, bumf, off.

0:38:20 > 0:38:24I mean, he flew off, like an arrow.

0:38:24 > 0:38:27MUSIC PLAYS IN BACKGROUND

0:38:27 > 0:38:32I were driving home and it was about four a clock in t'morning

0:38:32 > 0:38:33and I was still laughing.

0:38:33 > 0:38:38I ended up waking up in my sleep, sitting upright, laughing.

0:38:38 > 0:38:40# ..Sha la la la la la la la

0:38:40 > 0:38:44# Sha la la la la la la la

0:38:44 > 0:38:47# And Marie who waits for me. #

0:38:47 > 0:38:49All the things I've ever made,

0:38:49 > 0:38:52very, very, very important element

0:38:52 > 0:38:54is music.

0:38:54 > 0:38:56I've always thought that comedy and

0:38:56 > 0:39:02music are just the two things that work so well together.

0:39:02 > 0:39:05Music lifts you up and if you get the comedy right,

0:39:05 > 0:39:06you can take it a bit higher.

0:39:06 > 0:39:08I just love music.

0:39:08 > 0:39:11You know that song, We Are Family?

0:39:11 > 0:39:14For years I thought they were singing,

0:39:14 > 0:39:16"Just let me staple the vicar."

0:39:16 > 0:39:19Right. Who's right and who's wrong? Listen.

0:39:19 > 0:39:23# All of the people around us they say

0:39:23 > 0:39:25# Can they be that close?

0:39:25 > 0:39:28# Just let me staple the vicar... #

0:39:28 > 0:39:30LAUGHTER

0:39:30 > 0:39:35Peter's knowledge of music is outstanding. His comedy timing

0:39:35 > 0:39:37and everything else might be great,

0:39:37 > 0:39:40but his love and knowledge of music is exceptional.

0:39:40 > 0:39:43Meanwhile, k.d. Lang is singing about arseholes.

0:39:43 > 0:39:47# Arseholes... #

0:39:47 > 0:39:51He's such a massive music fan, it's ridiculous.

0:39:51 > 0:39:53He's like a computer hard drive

0:39:53 > 0:39:54of knowledge of music.

0:39:54 > 0:39:57It's quite frightening at times.

0:39:57 > 0:39:59I can't believe you'd kiss your cock at night.

0:39:59 > 0:40:01# ..Shine his machine

0:40:01 > 0:40:05# Baby, take off my shoes Before you let me get in

0:40:05 > 0:40:09# I can't believe you'd kiss your cock goodnight... #

0:40:09 > 0:40:11LAUGHTER

0:40:12 > 0:40:16CHEERING

0:40:21 > 0:40:23- # When I wake up - When I wake up

0:40:23 > 0:40:25# Well, I know I'm gonna be

0:40:25 > 0:40:28# I'm gonna be the man who wakes up next to you

0:40:28 > 0:40:29# Yeah, I know... #

0:40:29 > 0:40:32- Peter called me and said, - MIMICS KAY:- "I've got an idea."

0:40:32 > 0:40:35And I said, "Tell me about it."

0:40:35 > 0:40:37"You like The Proclaimers?"

0:40:37 > 0:40:41I said, "They're actually my favourite pop group of all times."

0:40:41 > 0:40:43MUSIC: I'm Gonna Be

0:40:43 > 0:40:45- # ..When I haver... - What's haver mean? #

0:40:45 > 0:40:48He's a fanatic Proclaimers fan.

0:40:48 > 0:40:51He's written the sleeve notes for their albums.

0:40:51 > 0:40:57# ..And I would roll 500 miles And I would roll 500 more

0:40:57 > 0:41:01# Just to be that man who rolled 1,000 miles

0:41:01 > 0:41:03# To fall down at your door... #

0:41:03 > 0:41:08I thought, "That is an idea that only you could pull off, Peter Kay."

0:41:08 > 0:41:11True enough, he did.

0:41:11 > 0:41:13MUSIC CONTINUES

0:41:13 > 0:41:18For some reason, when we were doing it, we kept singing, "Bobby Davro".

0:41:18 > 0:41:21I don't know how but we were proper laughing, the pair of us.

0:41:21 > 0:41:24So I said, "Let's point. Bobby Davro!"

0:41:24 > 0:41:27Well, Bobby Davro were like a pig in shit.

0:41:27 > 0:41:28MUSIC CONTINUES

0:41:28 > 0:41:30Bobby Davro!

0:41:30 > 0:41:31Bobby Davro!

0:41:33 > 0:41:37I was very impressed by how Peter could switch from performing

0:41:37 > 0:41:40to directing, because it's hard enough to do one of those things.

0:41:40 > 0:41:43He directed from the wheelchair, he's very brave.

0:41:43 > 0:41:47MUSIC PLAYS

0:41:47 > 0:41:50# ..To fall down at your door. #

0:41:50 > 0:41:53CHEERING

0:41:53 > 0:41:54I wanted to do a musical

0:41:54 > 0:41:58and yet, at the same time, I didn't want to do a musical.

0:41:58 > 0:42:02# Been waiting to sing for so long

0:42:02 > 0:42:05# My winner's song... #

0:42:08 > 0:42:10But I thought, "How can I do a musical

0:42:10 > 0:42:13"that allows you to really embrace

0:42:13 > 0:42:17"and enjoy music and yet comedy?"

0:42:26 > 0:42:31And I just thought, these programmes at the time, Pop Idol,

0:42:31 > 0:42:34X Factor, Britain's Got Talent,

0:42:34 > 0:42:37you've got to do something about this.

0:42:38 > 0:42:44No acts are the same. Young and old are here for this, the final show.

0:42:44 > 0:42:46This is going to be the toughest night of their lives

0:42:46 > 0:42:48and only one of them can win.

0:42:48 > 0:42:51Only one of them can win this and it's going to be tough.

0:42:51 > 0:42:55Only one of them is tough and that's going to have to be the winner.

0:42:55 > 0:43:00It's the talent show to end all talent shows and you choose who wins.

0:43:00 > 0:43:02I thought that would be a big thing.

0:43:02 > 0:43:07We could do it really well and it's a satire. I'm not really

0:43:07 > 0:43:11a satirist, but I thought, it appeals to me because you could do all the

0:43:11 > 0:43:14musical numbers and you could make big productions

0:43:14 > 0:43:15and, God, it were big.

0:43:15 > 0:43:18The cameras are set. The phone lines are ready.

0:43:18 > 0:43:20The lights are rigged.

0:43:20 > 0:43:22It's time to prove that Britain has got the Pop Factor

0:43:22 > 0:43:26and possibly a new celebrity Jesus Christ soap star superstar.

0:43:26 > 0:43:28Strictly on ice!

0:43:30 > 0:43:32Ladies and gentlemen, your finalists.

0:43:32 > 0:43:38MUSIC: Carmina Burana

0:43:38 > 0:43:40To be on Pop Factor was amazing.

0:43:40 > 0:43:42He was so good.

0:43:42 > 0:43:44We got to play at being pop stars.

0:43:44 > 0:43:47# They need a hero

0:43:47 > 0:43:51# They're holding out for a hero till the morning light

0:43:51 > 0:43:52# He's gotta be sure

0:43:52 > 0:43:54# And it's gotta to be soon

0:43:54 > 0:43:57# And he's gotta be larger than life

0:43:57 > 0:43:58# Not just in life. #

0:43:58 > 0:44:01Lots of people were complaining they didn't have a purple

0:44:01 > 0:44:04button on their remote control because they wanted to vote.

0:44:06 > 0:44:10He is just across everything. He is a perfectionist.

0:44:10 > 0:44:12He just took all of those programmes

0:44:12 > 0:44:17and got every best bit of those programmes and replicated it.

0:44:17 > 0:44:19# Will you let me in?

0:44:19 > 0:44:22# I want to be your friend, I want to guard your dreams and visions... #

0:44:22 > 0:44:25'Lord knows what made me want to be a woman.

0:44:25 > 0:44:28'I've done Max and Brian and all these other characters,'

0:44:28 > 0:44:33but I've not done a transsexual dinner lady from Northern Ireland.

0:44:33 > 0:44:36# 21 years in captivity

0:44:36 > 0:44:40# Shoes too small to fit his feet

0:44:40 > 0:44:43# His body abused but... #

0:44:43 > 0:44:46The lighting was exactly right and there were stings,

0:44:46 > 0:44:48I was using all the right language and scripts,

0:44:48 > 0:44:51so I think when people first initially watched it,

0:44:51 > 0:44:56they had to stay with the show to realise it actually wasn't real.

0:44:56 > 0:45:00# Free-ee-ee Nelson Mandela

0:45:00 > 0:45:03# Ella, ella eh-eh-eh

0:45:03 > 0:45:06# Under my umbrella ella-ella... #

0:45:06 > 0:45:08'I had to shave everything off.'

0:45:08 > 0:45:11I got waxed. Two Russian girls, in a hotel.

0:45:11 > 0:45:14I had to stop halfway through for a burger.

0:45:15 > 0:45:16I were shattered!

0:45:16 > 0:45:20# My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. # WHISTLE BLOWS

0:45:20 > 0:45:24- APPLAUSE AND CHEERING - When you put your lips round the end of that whistle,

0:45:24 > 0:45:26that could've been me, cos you blew me away, lady.

0:45:26 > 0:45:28And you blew these away.

0:45:28 > 0:45:31Thank you. Thanks, Peter. Thank you.

0:45:31 > 0:45:33It was on the scale of Pop Idol.

0:45:33 > 0:45:36# Bom-bom, Blankety Blank Blankety Blank

0:45:36 > 0:45:39- # Bom-bom, Blankety Blank... # - Nah.

0:45:39 > 0:45:42It's as close as you would've got to the real thing.

0:45:51 > 0:45:5515 nights in this place, look at the bloody size of it!

0:45:55 > 0:45:56CHEERING

0:45:57 > 0:45:59Strap yourselves in, ladies and gentlemen,

0:45:59 > 0:46:02for 20 minutes of comedy dragged over a two-hour show.

0:46:02 > 0:46:03LAUGHTER

0:46:03 > 0:46:04Here we go!

0:46:09 > 0:46:11Peter's broken all the records for his stand-up shows

0:46:11 > 0:46:14in how quickly they sell-out and how many people he plays to.

0:46:14 > 0:46:17And part of that's because he doesn't tour every year,

0:46:17 > 0:46:19so there's a huge anticipation and expectation around them

0:46:19 > 0:46:21and they've become absolute phenomenons.

0:46:21 > 0:46:24I ordered a pizza last night. I asked for a thin and crusty supreme.

0:46:24 > 0:46:26They sent me Diana Ross!

0:46:26 > 0:46:28- LAUGHTER - 'I don't know how he did it, to be honest.'

0:46:28 > 0:46:31I think it took him over a year to do all the gigs in the end,

0:46:31 > 0:46:35which, if you just try and get your head around that for a second,

0:46:35 > 0:46:38this is a guy, telling jokes for over a year, in arenas.

0:46:38 > 0:46:40That's pretty amazing.

0:46:40 > 0:46:43A woman went to t'doctor's, she had a piece of lettuce

0:46:43 > 0:46:45sticking out the top of her knickers.

0:46:45 > 0:46:47Doctor said, "That looks nasty."

0:46:47 > 0:46:49She said, "It's tip t'iceberg."

0:46:49 > 0:46:50You're a court jester.

0:46:50 > 0:46:53In its simplest form, that's what you are.

0:46:53 > 0:46:57You're basically there to make people laugh, that's your job.

0:46:57 > 0:47:00A fella says to his wife, "Why don't you tell me when you orgasm?"

0:47:00 > 0:47:02She said, "Don't like ringing you at work."

0:47:03 > 0:47:05Because what gives you the thrill is them

0:47:05 > 0:47:10forgetting about any trouble that they've got in their life,

0:47:10 > 0:47:13that you can deflect that and make them happy and forget about it.

0:47:21 > 0:47:25I was on tour and Paul Coleman, one of my good friends,

0:47:25 > 0:47:30he said he'd written a script about two people in a car,

0:47:30 > 0:47:33driving to work and that was the general gist of it.

0:47:33 > 0:47:36- SAT NAV:- 'Please make a U-turn.'

0:47:36 > 0:47:38I don't think you know where you're going, you, love.

0:47:38 > 0:47:41You're taking me all over the bloody place!

0:47:41 > 0:47:43When I first thought of it,

0:47:43 > 0:47:46I did not think for one minute that Peter would be John.

0:47:46 > 0:47:47Absolute piss take.

0:47:47 > 0:47:50- SAT NAV:- 'The route is being calculated.'

0:47:50 > 0:47:53Oh, me and you are going to fall out. I'll tell you that right now.

0:47:53 > 0:47:57I shared it with Peter to just get a view on the writing that we'd done

0:47:57 > 0:47:58and see what his opinion was

0:47:58 > 0:48:01and he really liked it, and thought he could do something with it.

0:48:01 > 0:48:03Well, this is a dead-end! I can't go down here.

0:48:03 > 0:48:05- SAT NAV:- 'Now go straight.'

0:48:05 > 0:48:07Oh, you're off your tits!

0:48:08 > 0:48:10- Hi!- Hi, there. You all right?

0:48:10 > 0:48:11Did you find me all right?

0:48:11 > 0:48:14- Not a bother. Straight to the door.- Coolio!

0:48:14 > 0:48:16I was working in a call centre

0:48:16 > 0:48:18and he sent me an e-mail, saying, "Read this, what do you think?"

0:48:18 > 0:48:21And I read it and I phoned him on my lunch hour,

0:48:21 > 0:48:23and I went, "It's-it's really good. I love it."

0:48:23 > 0:48:26And I said, "Kayleigh really reminds me of me.

0:48:26 > 0:48:28"I'm sure I've said some of those things."

0:48:28 > 0:48:31- Here, stick your drink in there. - Thanks.

0:48:31 > 0:48:34Watch yourself, it doesn't fit all cups. Don't force it. Oh!

0:48:37 > 0:48:39You're having a laugh!

0:48:39 > 0:48:41You're having a laugh!

0:48:41 > 0:48:42I'm so sorry!

0:48:42 > 0:48:45I really wanted to do it, but I was so nervous because I thought,

0:48:45 > 0:48:48"If I can't pull this off for Peter, I don't want to let him down."

0:48:48 > 0:48:51And that was the thing that made me most nervous about it,

0:48:51 > 0:48:53was letting Peter down.

0:48:53 > 0:48:56It's all right. It's all gone now. Deep breaths, that's it.

0:48:56 > 0:48:59About a week before we were about to shoot it, I said,

0:48:59 > 0:49:03"I don't mind if you want to ask Sheridan Smith, you know?"

0:49:03 > 0:49:08But, I mean, we've worked together so long, I WOULD have minded.

0:49:08 > 0:49:10SHE COUGHS What's up?

0:49:13 > 0:49:14What's that?

0:49:15 > 0:49:17Poppadom. Oh, I'm sorry.

0:49:17 > 0:49:18Had that last night.

0:49:18 > 0:49:20Sorry. Sorry, sorry.

0:49:20 > 0:49:23'What we have got is, we've got a natural chemistry through'

0:49:23 > 0:49:25a friendship that's built up over years.

0:49:25 > 0:49:29And I don't think you'd get this between an actor and an actress.

0:49:29 > 0:49:34It's outrageous! LAUGHTER

0:49:34 > 0:49:37THEY CONTINUE LAUGHING UNCONTROLLABLY

0:49:37 > 0:49:38I'm going to crash!

0:49:38 > 0:49:39Obviously, it's not Peter,

0:49:39 > 0:49:43but there are aspects of the character that very much

0:49:43 > 0:49:47made me think of driving around with Peter in the car, talking

0:49:47 > 0:49:50and just talking utter rubbish at each other and turning up

0:49:50 > 0:49:53the radio and turning down the radio and shouting at the radio.

0:49:53 > 0:49:57I've done all those things with Peter, so, yeah, I loved it.

0:49:57 > 0:49:58I absolutely loved it.

0:49:58 > 0:50:00Oh, frick a dick, it's Ray from work.

0:50:00 > 0:50:05- What? - Ray, work Ray!- Oh, shit.

0:50:05 > 0:50:08Oh, don't let him see us. He stinks of fish, him.

0:50:08 > 0:50:10- He's a fishmonger. - I know that!

0:50:10 > 0:50:13- Stink Ray, we call him. - So- do we. Do you?!- Yeah.

0:50:13 > 0:50:16Car Share was brilliant because the camera's just kind of in the car

0:50:16 > 0:50:18and it was capturing the reality of whatever you were doing,

0:50:18 > 0:50:21it didn't feel that you had to be committed to continuity,

0:50:21 > 0:50:24so that really freed you up for a very real performance.

0:50:24 > 0:50:28- OH! Oh, God.- Shoot, what should we do? Should we just ignore him?

0:50:28 > 0:50:30- Just look forwards. - He's staring right at you!

0:50:30 > 0:50:33There was a terrible amount of giggling on that and I was fearful

0:50:33 > 0:50:36they'd never be able to edit it cos there was so much laughing

0:50:36 > 0:50:37and laughter and stop starting-ness.

0:50:37 > 0:50:40Are ya? Because we've had this conversation.

0:50:40 > 0:50:42- Hey!- What're you doing? - Get this pumped up!

0:50:42 > 0:50:46I was a very naughty boy to this song many moons a...

0:50:46 > 0:50:48HE LAUGHS

0:50:48 > 0:50:50Here we go. Oh, ooh-hoo!

0:50:50 > 0:50:51Pumps this up!

0:50:51 > 0:50:52A very naughty boy.

0:50:52 > 0:50:54Ooh!

0:50:54 > 0:50:56Peter's a terrible giggler.

0:50:56 > 0:50:57But it's all on his terms.

0:50:57 > 0:51:00Cos if you do it, he's cross with you.

0:51:02 > 0:51:04And if he does it, it's all right cos he's allowed.

0:51:04 > 0:51:07# Na-na-na-na na-na-na-na

0:51:07 > 0:51:11# Na-na na-na na-na-na-na... #

0:51:11 > 0:51:14This is it. Here we go now.

0:51:15 > 0:51:17HE SINGS MADE-UP LYRICS

0:51:19 > 0:51:20THEY LAUGH

0:51:20 > 0:51:22What?!

0:51:22 > 0:51:24Car Share looks deceptively simple.

0:51:24 > 0:51:27It looks like it's just two people in a car, having a laugh,

0:51:27 > 0:51:30which part of it, it is. But with Peter, the process never ends.

0:51:30 > 0:51:32So apart from filming the script,

0:51:32 > 0:51:34what he'll then do is he'll add layers and layers

0:51:34 > 0:51:38and layers of music, he'll throw in the music video.

0:51:38 > 0:51:40# Never let me feel... #

0:51:40 > 0:51:42It was Peter who brought the dream sequences in,

0:51:42 > 0:51:45because when you're driving in the car and you've got your...

0:51:45 > 0:51:49your fan's on, you do think that you are Anastacia. Well, I do.

0:51:49 > 0:51:54# ..You walked out I ain't got no more tears to cry

0:51:54 > 0:51:56# And I can't take this... #

0:51:56 > 0:51:59The dream sequences add so much fun to the show.

0:51:59 > 0:52:02And I know Peter and Sian both loved filming those.

0:52:02 > 0:52:05# It's such a rush just being with you

0:52:05 > 0:52:08# We're driving in the rush hour... #

0:52:08 > 0:52:09He's a music geek.

0:52:09 > 0:52:11Anyone who knows him will know that he is.

0:52:11 > 0:52:14He just knows everything about any decade of music.

0:52:14 > 0:52:17He's the one you want on a pub quiz, he knows everything.

0:52:19 > 0:52:23# ..You got me, you got me

0:52:23 > 0:52:24# Oooh, you send me... #

0:52:24 > 0:52:27What could you not like about sitting in the car and just driving

0:52:27 > 0:52:30around singing with your best friend? That was Car Share to me.

0:52:30 > 0:52:33# ..Ooh, you send me... #

0:52:33 > 0:52:36- RADIO:- 'Cars are being diverted off the main road...'

0:52:36 > 0:52:42"Track two is from me to you. You're a star. Love always, Kayleigh."

0:52:42 > 0:52:44- RADIO:- 'No reports of any problems on the trains.'

0:52:44 > 0:52:46Car share is absolutely classic.

0:52:46 > 0:52:50Great piece of comedy, so beautifully acted.

0:52:50 > 0:52:52RADIO STOPS

0:52:52 > 0:52:55I think it's a real masterpiece

0:52:55 > 0:52:58and perhaps one of Peter's finest pieces of work.

0:52:58 > 0:53:00What a load of shite!

0:53:00 > 0:53:03# You've been saying I've been driving you crazy... #

0:53:03 > 0:53:05- Yes.- He's really brilliant in Car Share.

0:53:05 > 0:53:07It's such a real performance that he gives.

0:53:07 > 0:53:10Touching in a way that I think we haven't seen him do.

0:53:12 > 0:53:15Very unusual to kind of just get anybody to come out of the screen

0:53:15 > 0:53:17and have you feel things that you think,

0:53:17 > 0:53:18"That's what it's like in real life."

0:53:18 > 0:53:21And that is a really rare quality in someone, to be able to do that.

0:53:24 > 0:53:27I think that character is probably the closest to him

0:53:27 > 0:53:29he's ever played his real self.

0:53:29 > 0:53:31# Baby, baby

0:53:31 > 0:53:36# You've got to believe me when I say... #

0:53:36 > 0:53:37Mum didn't like it cos...

0:53:37 > 0:53:39IRISH ACCENT: "Peter, you're not watching the road.

0:53:39 > 0:53:41"I'm watching you and you're not paying attention."

0:53:41 > 0:53:43She's not even Irish!

0:53:43 > 0:53:45# Pure and simple Hey, hey, I'll be there for you

0:53:47 > 0:53:49# Pure and simple Gonna be there. #

0:53:49 > 0:53:53Lots of people have said it before, but it's kind of, is he the new Ronnie Barker?

0:53:53 > 0:53:57I'm a huge fan of Ronnie Barker, both Peter and I are.

0:53:57 > 0:53:58But I believe he is.

0:53:58 > 0:54:02I think the detail that he adds to every scene,

0:54:02 > 0:54:05you always know he is going to turn a scene round, he's fantastic.

0:54:06 > 0:54:08TWO RONNIES THEME TUNE

0:54:08 > 0:54:11The funny thing about Ronnie Barker was that I wrote to him in 2003.

0:54:11 > 0:54:15I'd been writing this letter for years and it were just crap,

0:54:15 > 0:54:18kept ripping it up, writing it again, ripping it up, writing.

0:54:18 > 0:54:21Eventually I wrote one and I sent it, thinking, "Ah, well."

0:54:21 > 0:54:22And then I got a reply.

0:54:24 > 0:54:26I get this letter through the post and I opens it.

0:54:26 > 0:54:28It says, "HM Prisons."

0:54:28 > 0:54:30So I thought, "Who's writing to me from prison?"

0:54:30 > 0:54:32So I starts reading it and he has written to me

0:54:32 > 0:54:34as Fletch from Porridge.

0:54:34 > 0:54:37He's wrote, "Dear Peter, I nicked this paper

0:54:37 > 0:54:40"when I was in the library and Barraclough wasn't looking.

0:54:40 > 0:54:43"Mackay's been on my back..." And he's written this letter as Fletch.

0:54:43 > 0:54:45So I were crying me eyes out. I couldn't believe it.

0:54:45 > 0:54:48I remember, I rung Paddy up and I said, "Listen, Paddy,

0:54:48 > 0:54:50"you won't believe what's happened."

0:54:50 > 0:54:52I said, "I've got a letter from Ronnie Barker.

0:54:52 > 0:54:56"He's written to me in character as Fletch from Porridge."

0:54:56 > 0:54:59He said, "It's 8.15 in the morning. Who gives a shit?"

0:55:01 > 0:55:03Anyway... Never mind.

0:55:03 > 0:55:05Look up at the sky.

0:55:05 > 0:55:07Look at this. Ronnie?

0:55:07 > 0:55:09When you're ready, go for it!

0:55:11 > 0:55:12FIREWORKS GO OFF

0:55:12 > 0:55:13- ALL:- Ooh!

0:55:13 > 0:55:17He's one of the great comedians. THE great comedians.

0:55:17 > 0:55:20But certainly now one of the great comedy actors as well.

0:55:20 > 0:55:22Well, that's them. I'm not made of money, that's your lot.

0:55:24 > 0:55:25THEY ALL CHEER

0:55:26 > 0:55:31# We've looked each day and night in the eye... #

0:55:31 > 0:55:33So we'll all go, "Is that it?"

0:55:33 > 0:55:35And then I'll just... They can go off.

0:55:35 > 0:55:39Peter Kaye has funny bones, you know?

0:55:39 > 0:55:41It's not just about saying funny things.

0:55:41 > 0:55:44It's just about embodying the spirit of comedy.

0:55:44 > 0:55:46One, two, three...

0:55:48 > 0:55:52# Do-do-do We've had success

0:55:52 > 0:55:53# We've had good times... #

0:55:53 > 0:55:57This is the end of the programme, this!

0:55:57 > 0:55:58We can get it right.

0:56:03 > 0:56:05Good luck, everybody.

0:56:05 > 0:56:09# ..We have walked 1,000 miles... #

0:56:09 > 0:56:14He is one of the nicest human beings I have ever met in my life.

0:56:14 > 0:56:18- Have it!- I think he's just lovable. He's just a lovable person.

0:56:18 > 0:56:20You dip a HobNob it's, "Again!"

0:56:20 > 0:56:24You want to embrace him and keep him near you, cos you know you're going to have a nice experience with them.

0:56:24 > 0:56:26I'm going nowhere, me, son!

0:56:26 > 0:56:31# ..What a fool I could be Just because I look... #

0:56:31 > 0:56:35He's a genius at what he does. And it's amazing to watch.

0:56:35 > 0:56:37Just have this as the ending.

0:56:37 > 0:56:39Have this as the ending.

0:56:39 > 0:56:41He could be in a terraced house in Bolton.

0:56:41 > 0:56:44As long as he's got a telly, and a Sky+ box,

0:56:44 > 0:56:45he's happy, really, you know?

0:56:45 > 0:56:50# ..Never forget where you're coming from... #

0:56:50 > 0:56:53He's so loyal, he's such a loyal person with his friends and his family.

0:56:53 > 0:56:56It's just lovely. He just likes to have fun.

0:56:56 > 0:56:58# ..Some day

0:56:58 > 0:57:00# Some day soon this will all be... #

0:57:00 > 0:57:01Have the credits up over this.

0:57:01 > 0:57:03This is what you want.

0:57:03 > 0:57:05# ..Ooh ooh This will be someone else's dream. #

0:57:05 > 0:57:09I truly think he's, he's one of the absolute greats.

0:57:10 > 0:57:13Thank you very much for watching.

0:57:13 > 0:57:15And ta-ra. Bye-bye.

0:57:19 > 0:57:20I nearly fell there!