0:00:02 > 0:00:05This programme contains some strong language.
0:00:05 > 0:00:08Comedy is big business and the top acts are worth a fortune.
0:00:08 > 0:00:12But in the shadows, beyond the TV shows and stadium tours...
0:00:12 > 0:00:13Hello, corporate people!
0:00:13 > 0:00:15..there's a hidden world.
0:00:18 > 0:00:22Where comics can trade their profile and catapult their earnings
0:00:22 > 0:00:24into the financial stratosphere.
0:00:24 > 0:00:27# Supercalifragilistic expialidocious #
0:00:27 > 0:00:30I don't see it as a pact with the devil,
0:00:30 > 0:00:32but in a way it is a bit of a pact.
0:00:32 > 0:00:37Even talking about it now almost brings a tear to my eye about how I felt inside doing that.
0:00:37 > 0:00:39To some it's selling out.
0:00:39 > 0:00:42It's kind of high-end prostitution without the actual sex.
0:00:42 > 0:00:44I'm so old.
0:00:44 > 0:00:47I don't know how long I've got left. I don't even buy green bananas.
0:00:47 > 0:00:51To others it's just another creative challenge.
0:00:51 > 0:00:53I've played towns smaller than this.
0:00:53 > 0:00:59There are many occasions on which I've gone out to an audience and there's an audible sigh of despair.
0:00:59 > 0:01:01Hosting corporate events.
0:01:01 > 0:01:04You can get Viagra for women these days. I don't know about you guys,
0:01:04 > 0:01:06but I've been using it for women all along!
0:01:06 > 0:01:07LAUGHTER
0:01:09 > 0:01:11Fronting ad campaigns.
0:01:11 > 0:01:15Seconda pay me over £1,000 a second for this imitation.
0:01:15 > 0:01:19And taking home a big fat cheque for their trouble.
0:01:19 > 0:01:23That act might get paid a million pounds a year for their TV contract,
0:01:23 > 0:01:27but they could earn 100,000 a month at least. That's just four corporates.
0:01:27 > 0:01:29Clocking up nicely!
0:01:29 > 0:01:32Who are the middle men who persuade the talent to go for broke?
0:01:32 > 0:01:34I'm just booking accommodation for Gyles Brandreth.
0:01:34 > 0:01:37The lovely Gyles Brandreth. Where are you sending him?
0:01:37 > 0:01:39- Birmingham.- Lucky man.- Yes.
0:01:39 > 0:01:43I don't think many people in the comedy business would imagine
0:01:43 > 0:01:47that we're actually managing to book Jimmy Carr for a large company dinner.
0:01:47 > 0:01:50Tick, nicky-nicky nick. I've got the time if they've got the money.
0:01:50 > 0:01:52I am part of this and so are you!
0:01:52 > 0:01:55And what's at stake...
0:01:55 > 0:01:56Mmm! Buy this!
0:01:56 > 0:02:00..once comedians put themselves up for sale?
0:02:00 > 0:02:03You're fine. Why are you doing this? Why are you grubbing around?
0:02:03 > 0:02:06Given that a lot of comedy is about cynicism, a cynical audience
0:02:06 > 0:02:08will say, "He's doing it for the cash,"
0:02:08 > 0:02:11which is the opposite of what comedy is supposed to be about.
0:02:42 > 0:02:47It's a Monday evening in the heart of London's Chelsea.
0:02:49 > 0:02:51And the biggest night of the year
0:02:51 > 0:02:53for top corporate booker, Jeremy Lee.
0:02:56 > 0:02:59This lavish show is this way of enticing custom
0:02:59 > 0:03:03from a specially invited audience of his corporate clients.
0:03:03 > 0:03:06My name is Elvira. I work for the Subway office in London.
0:03:06 > 0:03:10My name's Ken McCloud. I'm a director of Advantage travel centres.
0:03:10 > 0:03:14I'm Mark Britton, and I'm managing director of an events company called Creating Sunshine.
0:03:14 > 0:03:19The sort of client that we'll deal with - financial services, retail, IT companies...
0:03:19 > 0:03:24I'm not aware of there ever having been a physical fight
0:03:24 > 0:03:26to get on to the Real Variety Show.
0:03:26 > 0:03:32But an awful lot of people have expressed their keenness to do it.
0:03:32 > 0:03:37And audiences know that they're being offered pretty much the best
0:03:37 > 0:03:42of what's just about to be talked about.
0:03:42 > 0:03:45It's a really big night for us and I'm hugely excited.
0:03:45 > 0:03:47Bookers like Jeremy Lee are experts.
0:03:50 > 0:03:54Paid to match a client's event to the right performer.
0:03:56 > 0:03:59At the luxury end, a 20-minute set
0:03:59 > 0:04:02from Ricky Gervais will cost you in excess of £25,000.
0:04:02 > 0:04:08Michael McIntyre could be a budget-busting £40,000.
0:04:08 > 0:04:13In the middle range, a recognisable TV face, like Ed Byrne or Tim Vine,
0:04:13 > 0:04:16commands around £5,000- £10,000.
0:04:16 > 0:04:18Less than five grand gets you
0:04:18 > 0:04:21a comic yet to establish their TV profile.
0:04:21 > 0:04:24Tonight it's all about selling those up-and-coming acts
0:04:24 > 0:04:25to the corporate world.
0:04:25 > 0:04:30A few years ago we saw Michael McIntyre before he was famous and that happens quite regularly.
0:04:30 > 0:04:33Alistair McGowan, Bill Bailey,
0:04:33 > 0:04:34Jack Whitehall...
0:04:34 > 0:04:36Rhod Gilbert...
0:04:36 > 0:04:42It's a long, long, long list of pillars of the comedy scene who've done the Real Variety Show.
0:04:42 > 0:04:43Ladies and gentlemen,
0:04:43 > 0:04:46take your seats, please.
0:04:46 > 0:04:49I have no voice left.
0:04:51 > 0:04:53Thank you, darling.
0:04:53 > 0:04:55Jeremy had dreams of becoming an actor.
0:04:55 > 0:04:58But because he felt his height was against him,
0:04:58 > 0:05:01he turned to talent booking instead.
0:05:09 > 0:05:11Hello, corporate people!
0:05:13 > 0:05:14LAUGHTER
0:05:14 > 0:05:20There's plenty of cash to be made, but the corporate experience leaves some comics cold.
0:05:20 > 0:05:22Some of those gigs can be lovely. Great fun.
0:05:22 > 0:05:25I've had a great time in most of them, actually. 90%.
0:05:25 > 0:05:28The other 10% have left me so scarred and horrified by the whole process
0:05:28 > 0:05:31that I never want to do another one as long as I live.
0:05:31 > 0:05:33This is heart attack territory for a dad.
0:05:33 > 0:05:36You walk into a room, everything's on and no-one's there.
0:05:36 > 0:05:39They're becoming energy assassins, the kids.
0:05:39 > 0:05:42Just turned everything on full blast and left.
0:05:42 > 0:05:46There's always a lot of corporate bullshit attached to them obviously,
0:05:46 > 0:05:48because it's a corporate event.
0:05:48 > 0:05:52And in a sense, if you're a comedian, you're meant to react against that.
0:05:52 > 0:05:55You're meant to cut through the bullshit.
0:05:55 > 0:05:59But you're not. You can't, really, cos you're getting paid by them,
0:05:59 > 0:06:01so you know, you're a hypocrite.
0:06:01 > 0:06:06You go mental. You're there shouting at the telly, going, "Why's the telly on?!
0:06:06 > 0:06:10"The window's open with the heating on! One counteracts the other!
0:06:10 > 0:06:12"Who's listening to this iPad? Help!"
0:06:12 > 0:06:16I don't personally feel that when I do corporates
0:06:16 > 0:06:20I have to be in love with them. In fact completely the opposite.
0:06:20 > 0:06:25I tend to go in and relentlessly take the piss out of them.
0:06:25 > 0:06:27And I find that quite a lot of people like that.
0:06:27 > 0:06:30Available for bookings. I also host. Thank you very much.
0:06:30 > 0:06:31APPLAUSE
0:06:31 > 0:06:33Good night, god bless, take care!
0:06:33 > 0:06:35I didn't want to look too desperate.
0:06:35 > 0:06:39My angle was, "Hey, I'm just having fun and I don't really care," but deep down I cared massively.
0:06:39 > 0:06:41Lovely to be here. I'm in a good mood.
0:06:41 > 0:06:45I'm pleased to be out on a Monday night, cos I'm at that age now.
0:06:45 > 0:06:47I got offered drugs on the street the other day.
0:06:47 > 0:06:51And I was just immensely flattered. That's the age I've now reached.
0:06:51 > 0:06:52LAUGHTER
0:06:52 > 0:06:56I was walking down the street, this guy goes, "You want Charlie, skunk?"
0:06:56 > 0:06:59I said, "No, I don't, but thank you very much for asking!"
0:06:59 > 0:07:01LAUGHTER
0:07:01 > 0:07:05It went pretty well. It's quite hard to do these things cos you are sort of a rolling...
0:07:05 > 0:07:07It's like livestock. "What do you think of this one?"
0:07:07 > 0:07:11"What do you think of this one?" They're there for business,
0:07:11 > 0:07:16so it's hard not to have that feeling in the room of, "Am I what you want?
0:07:16 > 0:07:18"Would you like to pay me lots of money?"
0:07:18 > 0:07:22I'm trying to control my weight. My weight goes massively up and down.
0:07:22 > 0:07:24I'm addicted to eating. I am.
0:07:24 > 0:07:26It's worse than being a heroin addict,
0:07:26 > 0:07:29cos at least they look good in skinny jeans.
0:07:29 > 0:07:34Well, in terms of career, in terms of artistically, obviously it's not...
0:07:34 > 0:07:37of any real...you know, any real importance,
0:07:37 > 0:07:40though I do enjoy it artistically as well.
0:07:40 > 0:07:42I'm kind of possessed when I eat. I'm kind of... GRUNTS
0:07:42 > 0:07:44And I cannot concentrate on anything else.
0:07:44 > 0:07:46'There are very few comics who won't do them,'
0:07:46 > 0:07:50but at every level you're at, they always pay so much more
0:07:50 > 0:07:53than you're usually getting, that they're very handy.
0:07:53 > 0:07:56I'd be rubbish on MasterChef.
0:07:56 > 0:08:00On MasterChef you've always got a guy going, "Mm, that's slightly overcooked,
0:08:00 > 0:08:05"but... mmm... That's a beautiful fusion of different flavours."
0:08:05 > 0:08:09We've all become a bit Thatcher's children. I think people go, " Good on you if you can make that money."
0:08:09 > 0:08:11Cos you don't know how long you'll be in the spotlight.
0:08:11 > 0:08:13"Hal, what do you think?"
0:08:13 > 0:08:15HE GRUNTS AND CHOMPS
0:08:15 > 0:08:17LAUGHTER
0:08:17 > 0:08:19'It's lovely to get a call at 9am the next morning'
0:08:19 > 0:08:22saying, "Who was that chap? We want to book him for 12 gigs."
0:08:25 > 0:08:29In practice it's much more slow-burning than that,
0:08:29 > 0:08:32but generally speaking, if they get the show right,
0:08:32 > 0:08:36then I would expect that they would pick up 30-plus gigs as a result.
0:08:37 > 0:08:41You've been a delight. Thank you very much. I've been Hal Cruttenden. Thank you!
0:08:41 > 0:08:43APPLAUSE
0:08:56 > 0:08:59Jeremy Lee is an industry heavyweight.
0:08:59 > 0:09:03But he's got competition fighting for their share of the business.
0:09:03 > 0:09:05Search the web and you'll find a host of sites
0:09:05 > 0:09:09all offering the chance for companies to book top-drawer comedy talent.
0:09:09 > 0:09:12With prices to match.
0:09:12 > 0:09:14I'll just remain calm...
0:09:14 > 0:09:16Geoff Whiting runs his outfit,
0:09:16 > 0:09:21Mirth Control, from his home in Bath, booking comics throughout Europe.
0:09:21 > 0:09:23I must be the least well known person
0:09:23 > 0:09:26that knows the most well known comedians.
0:09:26 > 0:09:30It's a strange thing. The perception probably is that if you want a big name,
0:09:30 > 0:09:33you go to a big agent with a big reputation, West End office,
0:09:33 > 0:09:36track record for 20 years for booking the biggest names.
0:09:36 > 0:09:41Ironically, I can book the same acts as them, probably at the same price,
0:09:41 > 0:09:43but the client doesn't understand that.
0:09:43 > 0:09:46A big round of applause and please give a warm welcome
0:09:46 > 0:09:48for Geoff Whiting, ladies and gentlemen!
0:09:48 > 0:09:49APPLAUSE
0:09:52 > 0:09:54Hello!
0:09:54 > 0:09:56Thank you!
0:09:56 > 0:09:59Because I'm a working comic, I do believe I understand the dynamics
0:09:59 > 0:10:02of what you need in a room, better than a booker who is not a comic.
0:10:02 > 0:10:05Has anybody here got a pet? Any pet-owners in the audience?
0:10:05 > 0:10:08FAINT RESPONSES Enthusiastic pet-owners!
0:10:08 > 0:10:10"That pet's drained my finances,
0:10:10 > 0:10:13it's there now, scratching my furniture..."
0:10:13 > 0:10:15I go out on stage two or three times a week - doesn't sound much,
0:10:15 > 0:10:17but I've done over 4,000 gigs since I started.
0:10:17 > 0:10:20I think cats ARE more intelligent than dogs.
0:10:20 > 0:10:25And I've got proof - cos you never see a cat with a homeless person.
0:10:25 > 0:10:26LAUGHTER
0:10:28 > 0:10:31Jimmy Carr. I gave Jimmy Carr his first-ever paid booking.
0:10:31 > 0:10:34Russell Howard gave me my second-ever gig.
0:10:34 > 0:10:36Rhod Gilbert did loads for me as a new act.
0:10:36 > 0:10:38Michael McIntyre I used to gig with a lot.
0:10:38 > 0:10:40It's quite nice.
0:10:40 > 0:10:43Nice to see a guy on TV and think - I remember giving him some gigs,
0:10:43 > 0:10:44early days, you know -
0:10:44 > 0:10:46five minutes for nothing in a pub, see what you can do.
0:10:50 > 0:10:53Like Jeremy Lee, Geoff used to have stars in his eyes.
0:10:57 > 0:10:58But by the time he was 30,
0:10:58 > 0:11:02he was a travelling salesman flogging cakes and biscuits.
0:11:02 > 0:11:03Suddenly made redundant,
0:11:03 > 0:11:05he spotted an advert for wannabe comics,
0:11:05 > 0:11:08in the Daily Telegraph.
0:11:08 > 0:11:09Cos I was at rock bottom, I did it.
0:11:09 > 0:11:12If I'd been in that job, I wouldn't have done it.
0:11:12 > 0:11:14Geoff tried his luck and stumbled into a new career -
0:11:14 > 0:11:17as a comedy booker.
0:11:19 > 0:11:20Uh-huh.
0:11:20 > 0:11:25There it is. Well, this was my office, in effect.
0:11:25 > 0:11:27I had no phone. No mobile. No landline.
0:11:27 > 0:11:29I operated from this phone box.
0:11:29 > 0:11:31I used to come here every morning, between 10 and midday.
0:11:31 > 0:11:35Spend a couple of hours in here - and I do mean two hours -
0:11:35 > 0:11:39with about 20 pound coins which I'd feed in as I needed to.
0:11:39 > 0:11:41I'm amazed it's still here, really.
0:11:41 > 0:11:43Look at the beautiful surroundings -
0:11:43 > 0:11:46I can't think why they've maintained it.
0:11:46 > 0:11:49I'd like to think they heard my story and think they ought to keep it.
0:11:49 > 0:11:54Yeah, so, this was my office for the first four months in my career of a comic and comedy booker.
0:11:54 > 0:11:58Today Geoff's become one of the best connected bookers in the business.
0:11:58 > 0:12:02Every week he finds acts for the UK's network of independent comedy clubs,
0:12:02 > 0:12:04as well as dozens of corporate gigs.
0:12:10 > 0:12:14Geoff's outfit is no-frills, minimum overheads.
0:12:14 > 0:12:16Jeremy Lee has offices in the heart of the West End
0:12:16 > 0:12:18and an entire team behind him.
0:12:20 > 0:12:25So this is a room full of journalists.
0:12:25 > 0:12:28everybody here has to know quite a lot about quite a lot.
0:12:29 > 0:12:32The point being that their relationship
0:12:32 > 0:12:35is with the organisation who wants to book the talent.
0:12:35 > 0:12:40So they have to know who's going to work in front of any audience.
0:12:40 > 0:12:44So, what's going on here?
0:12:44 > 0:12:46- At the moment?- At the moment.
0:12:46 > 0:12:50Apart from looking at the BBC news website to find out what's going on.
0:12:50 > 0:12:52I'm just booking Hugh Dennis.
0:12:52 > 0:12:53- The lovely Hugh Dennis. - Yeah.
0:12:53 > 0:12:57Unlike an agent or manager, who is trying to sell a particular turn,
0:12:57 > 0:13:03we are more interested in who's going to be in the audience.
0:13:03 > 0:13:05Who have they had before?
0:13:05 > 0:13:08Where do they come from? How senior are they?
0:13:08 > 0:13:10It's similar, I suppose, to casting, more than anything else.
0:13:10 > 0:13:14So we will then say, look, here's half a dozen suggestions,
0:13:14 > 0:13:19we've put whoever it is in front of hundreds of similar audiences
0:13:19 > 0:13:23and we can turn around and say - this is the best one for you.
0:13:23 > 0:13:25And, hopefully, they'll take our advice.
0:13:25 > 0:13:27Oliver, what are you up to?
0:13:27 > 0:13:33Just looking through some recent inquiries, trying to come up with some suggestions.
0:13:33 > 0:13:35- What's the audience? - An electronics company.
0:13:35 > 0:13:39- They've got a few hundred of their employees.- With their partners?
0:13:39 > 0:13:43Um, I presume so. That's something I don't actually know.
0:13:43 > 0:13:48He doesn't know. He needs to find out. Thank you, Oliver.
0:13:48 > 0:13:51If you can crack the market and win repeat bookings,
0:13:51 > 0:13:54there's big money to be made.
0:13:56 > 0:14:00Big money, but not easy money. Watch out for the pitfalls.
0:14:00 > 0:14:02Corporate gigs, you never quite know.
0:14:02 > 0:14:04Occasionally, they can be very good.
0:14:04 > 0:14:08If the audience is the right amount drunk...
0:14:08 > 0:14:11But often they can be awful.
0:14:11 > 0:14:13- Alan, what are you doing? - Climbing over a fence.
0:14:13 > 0:14:17- Watch it, you're nearly f...- Were you gonna say I was nearly fifty, then?!
0:14:17 > 0:14:20- I might be nearly 50, but at least I'm able t-eeeeuuuuhh...!- What?!
0:14:20 > 0:14:23Lyn, I've pierced my foot on a spike!
0:14:23 > 0:14:27And it ruddy, frigging hurts like bugger.
0:14:27 > 0:14:30Get yourself into a recovery position.
0:14:30 > 0:14:32You're just going through bits of Casualty now!
0:14:32 > 0:14:35Oh, look at you...! You should be in hospital!
0:14:35 > 0:14:41I doubt there is one comedian in the world who hasn't died on his or her arse at a corporate gig.
0:14:44 > 0:14:46They can be dispiriting events.
0:14:46 > 0:14:48They're good for the soul.
0:14:48 > 0:14:49It's great to have successes,
0:14:49 > 0:14:52but every now and then You must have a failure.
0:14:52 > 0:14:53AH-HA!
0:14:54 > 0:14:57What a year it's been for Dante...Fires.
0:14:57 > 0:15:02May be you're here to tonight with a wife, or an old FLAME.
0:15:02 > 0:15:04The thing about corporate gigs
0:15:04 > 0:15:07that I actually think is quite good for comedians -
0:15:07 > 0:15:08and it's not the money -
0:15:08 > 0:15:11it's the fact that actually 90% of the time,
0:15:11 > 0:15:14they don't know who they're going to get.
0:15:15 > 0:15:16But what is the burning issue?
0:15:19 > 0:15:23Hit your targets or you'll be...fired!
0:15:24 > 0:15:29I drove past a hotel last night that where I did a corporate about seven years ago.
0:15:29 > 0:15:31And I had butterflies in my stomach.
0:15:31 > 0:15:33And as I drove past at about 40mph
0:15:33 > 0:15:35all of that horrible tension, that anxiety,
0:15:35 > 0:15:39that awful feeling I got before those gigs came bubbling back up.
0:15:39 > 0:15:41I could taste it, practically.
0:15:41 > 0:15:43I apolo-HURRRGGG...!
0:15:43 > 0:15:48ALAN VOMITS
0:15:48 > 0:15:51FANFARE
0:15:51 > 0:15:55Sorry... I was supposed to hit that later.
0:15:55 > 0:15:58I'll just wait for it to finish.
0:15:58 > 0:15:59..a glittering year ahead.
0:16:00 > 0:16:04There are many occasions on which I've gone out to an audience
0:16:04 > 0:16:06and there's an audible sigh of despair
0:16:06 > 0:16:09from the audience when they've seen it's me,
0:16:09 > 0:16:13because they were hoping it was going to be Jimmy Carr or Alan Davies,
0:16:13 > 0:16:15or anyone but me.
0:16:15 > 0:16:20And so from that point of view, that's very good for someone like me,
0:16:20 > 0:16:22because it means I have to work my arse off.
0:16:22 > 0:16:25A normal gig, things are on your side.
0:16:25 > 0:16:28You go to a corporate gig, people are on a round table -
0:16:28 > 0:16:30half that table's got their back to you,
0:16:30 > 0:16:34they're not there to see comedy, they don't care about you, don't give a shit about you!
0:16:34 > 0:16:39If you do corporates, you certainly get the message that not everyone loves you,
0:16:39 > 0:16:41and it makes you really work hard.
0:16:41 > 0:16:45Most turns - there's an old fashioned term for you! -
0:16:45 > 0:16:52most turns LOVE the experience of storming a corporate gig.
0:16:52 > 0:16:53Cos how would you not?
0:16:53 > 0:16:57You come away with 1,200 more fans. What could be better?
0:16:57 > 0:16:59- And now... - Show him the meat and liver.
0:16:59 > 0:17:01..a commercial break...
0:17:01 > 0:17:03- Teletext with full remote control. - This is dull.
0:17:03 > 0:17:06- It's about time I got into the stock market.- Dull...
0:17:06 > 0:17:08'A man who wears good clothes.'
0:17:08 > 0:17:10This man...
0:17:10 > 0:17:11knows Hodges.
0:17:11 > 0:17:13Aspirational?
0:17:13 > 0:17:15# What about a bit Of British lamb? #
0:17:15 > 0:17:16No idea.
0:17:16 > 0:17:17Why, yes!
0:17:17 > 0:17:20A touch of comedy and just feel the difference.
0:17:22 > 0:17:25Don't look now, it's Pamela Anderson!
0:17:26 > 0:17:29Advertising has always relied on comedy
0:17:29 > 0:17:30and its stars to sell products.
0:17:31 > 0:17:34That's not Pamela.
0:17:34 > 0:17:35THEY SIGH
0:17:35 > 0:17:36SIREN WAILS
0:17:36 > 0:17:39'Virgil, get down to the club right away!'
0:17:39 > 0:17:42They often say the best weapon advertising has is truth.
0:17:42 > 0:17:44Fraud Squad! Tonight's episode...
0:17:44 > 0:17:46Terror In The Night.
0:17:49 > 0:17:52And because comedy is about honesty,
0:17:52 > 0:17:54it fits extremely well.
0:17:55 > 0:17:58An award-winning writer and producer of shows, from
0:17:58 > 0:18:00Not the Nine O'Clock News and Spitting Image,
0:18:00 > 0:18:02to Blackadder and QI...
0:18:02 > 0:18:03Who's behind it?
0:18:03 > 0:18:05I found the bartender's palm prints all over the place.
0:18:05 > 0:18:07Very pretty, you know.
0:18:07 > 0:18:10..John Lloyd is also the brains behind some of the most successful
0:18:10 > 0:18:12ads of the last 25 years.
0:18:14 > 0:18:17By heck! You smell gorgeous tonight, petal.
0:18:17 > 0:18:21'There's an inherent honesty built into comedy, because if people don't'
0:18:21 > 0:18:24believe you or they don't buy into the proposition, they won't laugh.
0:18:24 > 0:18:27I've bred men for 30 years, now.
0:18:27 > 0:18:28Dave was my first
0:18:28 > 0:18:31and since then I've bred two more, Stephen and Greville.
0:18:31 > 0:18:34It has to be interesting. You have to be intrigued.
0:18:34 > 0:18:36Hark, how they lap it up.
0:18:36 > 0:18:39I am impressed by the lack of marrow bone and
0:18:39 > 0:18:40lumps of rabbit.
0:18:40 > 0:18:43Given the choice, my men go for it every time.
0:18:43 > 0:18:48This makes a very powerful weapon for more or less anything.
0:18:48 > 0:18:50People often ask me how I keep my hair
0:18:50 > 0:18:52so thick and curly.
0:18:52 > 0:18:53It's a perm.
0:18:55 > 0:18:59Simple. I use Abbey National savings advisers.
0:18:59 > 0:19:02'It can be applied to the most tedious advertising proposition and'
0:19:02 > 0:19:07transform it to something delicious and user-friendly and, "Oh!"
0:19:07 > 0:19:10'Saving with Abbey National keeps my hair'
0:19:10 > 0:19:11a part of me.
0:19:11 > 0:19:13- Perm.- Not a perm.
0:19:13 > 0:19:17A lot of people say, "Advertising doesn't work on me."
0:19:17 > 0:19:19These people are fools.
0:19:19 > 0:19:21Advertising works on everybody.
0:19:21 > 0:19:22Where I come from,
0:19:22 > 0:19:23Mr Brain's Faggots
0:19:23 > 0:19:25prized as powerful aphrodisiac.
0:19:25 > 0:19:27JOHN: 'It's just the question is
0:19:27 > 0:19:28'which bit works on you.
0:19:28 > 0:19:30At the bottom end, you can destroy a brand
0:19:30 > 0:19:33so that people will never want to buy it again.
0:19:33 > 0:19:34It's very odd.
0:19:34 > 0:19:35I don't even know your name,
0:19:35 > 0:19:37but after this one Campari and soda,
0:19:37 > 0:19:39I feel I almost know you.
0:19:39 > 0:19:41'Famously, Campari,'
0:19:41 > 0:19:42that was a disaster,
0:19:42 > 0:19:44cos although they made incredibly funny ads
0:19:44 > 0:19:47and won all the prizes, the brand Campari was basically
0:19:47 > 0:19:51the sort of thing that brigadiers had one bottle of, cos of that lovely...
0:19:51 > 0:19:54"Do you remember that holiday in Taormina, darling?"
0:19:54 > 0:19:56Yes. Nice colour, ennit?
0:19:56 > 0:19:59They decided they wanted to take it from being classy to mass-market.
0:19:59 > 0:20:02Well, you truly wafted here from paradise.
0:20:02 > 0:20:04No. Luton airport.
0:20:04 > 0:20:06So all the secretaries in the world went out
0:20:06 > 0:20:11and tried a glass of Campari instead of Babycham and hated it
0:20:11 > 0:20:15and all the brigadiers then suddenly think, "Oh dear. How ghastly.
0:20:15 > 0:20:19"Campari's drunk by working people. We can't have that anymore."
0:20:19 > 0:20:20So nobody bought it.
0:20:20 > 0:20:24Those awfully nice Sony people want me to tell you
0:20:24 > 0:20:26what makes my Sony Trinitron so unique.
0:20:26 > 0:20:28We'll help you find the service you want.
0:20:28 > 0:20:33John Cleese is one big star who's been happy to front ads for years...
0:20:33 > 0:20:34Thanks to Sony's miracle ingredient,
0:20:34 > 0:20:36the fiendishly cunning Trinitron system,
0:20:36 > 0:20:38which improves the whole family's watching!
0:20:38 > 0:20:40In fact, I think I will eat one.
0:20:40 > 0:20:42..provided he's happy with the quality.
0:20:42 > 0:20:45It's becoming ever more difficult to surround oneself with
0:20:45 > 0:20:48absolute uncompromising quality.
0:20:48 > 0:20:51Which is why I take such extraordinary pleasure
0:20:51 > 0:20:53in telling you about Schweppes.
0:20:54 > 0:20:56With its unique Schweppervescence
0:20:56 > 0:21:00and distinctively refreshing taste, it may be the last oasis
0:21:00 > 0:21:05of true excellence in an otherwise vast desert of compromise.
0:21:06 > 0:21:08Cheers.
0:21:08 > 0:21:10Commercials were a fantastic way
0:21:10 > 0:21:12of buying oneself writing time.
0:21:14 > 0:21:15What on earth is going on?
0:21:15 > 0:21:17'First of all the product.'
0:21:17 > 0:21:19You've got to check the product out. So when Compaq came to me,
0:21:19 > 0:21:24I rang up my old prep school friend who taught people computer skills
0:21:24 > 0:21:26and said, "What sort of a company are they?"
0:21:26 > 0:21:29He came back 24 hours later and said, "I've been checking them out.
0:21:29 > 0:21:31"I think they're first-class."
0:21:31 > 0:21:33All under control here!
0:21:33 > 0:21:35Nothing to worry about! What?
0:21:35 > 0:21:38The second hurdle is, was the commercial actually funny.
0:21:38 > 0:21:41Rein them in, boy!
0:21:41 > 0:21:43HE WHINNIES
0:21:45 > 0:21:48I felt that if I stood there saying, "Hmmm, buy this!"
0:21:48 > 0:21:51it would be death for my career,
0:21:51 > 0:21:54but if I could do something that was witty and amusing
0:21:54 > 0:21:57and there were some very good commercials being made at that time,
0:21:57 > 0:21:58then I thought it was harmless.
0:21:58 > 0:22:01Oh, Colin. You're so precocious.
0:22:01 > 0:22:04I'm 52 years old, mother, and I'm a High Court judge.
0:22:04 > 0:22:07'When it amuses people and intrigues them,'
0:22:07 > 0:22:08it's utterly harmless
0:22:08 > 0:22:09and I think that's legitimate.
0:22:09 > 0:22:12All you can do in a commercial, in my opinion,
0:22:12 > 0:22:14is draw someone's attention to something.
0:22:14 > 0:22:17Nobody's going to run out and buy it, but they might think,
0:22:17 > 0:22:20"I'll have a look at that next time I'm in the store."
0:22:20 > 0:22:22That's all you can hope to achieve and that seems to be
0:22:22 > 0:22:24a reasonable thing to aim for.
0:22:27 > 0:22:28'When I started in advertising,
0:22:28 > 0:22:30'what was brilliant about it is that
0:22:30 > 0:22:33'instead of struggling by on about'
0:22:33 > 0:22:35'the same money that, say, a cab driver might make,
0:22:35 > 0:22:38'you get immense budgets and, in those days,'
0:22:38 > 0:22:40a lot of freedom...
0:22:52 > 0:22:54CHEERING
0:22:54 > 0:22:56'..to do things that'
0:22:56 > 0:22:57really, really stood out.
0:22:57 > 0:23:00CHEERING
0:23:04 > 0:23:06PEOPLE GASP
0:23:11 > 0:23:15'But, on the other hand, there's not a great deal of integrity.'
0:23:15 > 0:23:17'Get lucky.'
0:23:17 > 0:23:20'Sometimes you would thirst to go back to the BBC and work for very
0:23:20 > 0:23:22little money on something you really believed in
0:23:22 > 0:23:25then you'd run out of money, and go and do something you didn't
0:23:25 > 0:23:27particularly believe in, but try and do it as well as you can.
0:23:29 > 0:23:32If ads mean trading your principles,
0:23:32 > 0:23:34creative tension is inevitable.
0:23:34 > 0:23:36So, you're in advertising, yes?
0:23:36 > 0:23:38Yeah.
0:23:39 > 0:23:41Sorry, that was a reflex action.
0:23:41 > 0:23:43- That's all right.- In that case...
0:23:44 > 0:23:46- Sorry.- That's fine.
0:23:48 > 0:23:51But, for an up-and-coming double act,
0:23:51 > 0:23:53a British theatrical legend gave them
0:23:53 > 0:23:57all the excuse they needed to climb aboard the advertising gravy train.
0:23:57 > 0:24:00I remember, as a kid, watching on the TV
0:24:00 > 0:24:03Laurence Olivier, the greatest living actor at the time,
0:24:03 > 0:24:05doing a cigarette advert and I was stunned.
0:24:05 > 0:24:07I thought, "Sod it. If he's doing it, I'll do it."
0:24:09 > 0:24:10I bet he drinks Carling Black Label.
0:24:10 > 0:24:12'And the clincher was, it was beer.'
0:24:12 > 0:24:14- Yeah.- Which we're both fans of, and still are.
0:24:14 > 0:24:16Who?
0:24:16 > 0:24:18The next bloke through that door.
0:24:18 > 0:24:21'The Carling campaign was one of those that typified that
0:24:21 > 0:24:24'era of massive creativity.'
0:24:24 > 0:24:26MUSIC: "O Fortuna" by Carl Orff
0:24:29 > 0:24:31'Agencies used to tell clients they were going to handle'
0:24:31 > 0:24:34their advertising for them, and, "This is what we're going to do."
0:24:34 > 0:24:35Woo! Whatcha.
0:24:35 > 0:24:37Give us a pint of aftershave.
0:24:39 > 0:24:40Straight glass, sir?
0:24:40 > 0:24:42'Make sure you get paid'
0:24:42 > 0:24:4525 years in advance, cos we're still selling flipping
0:24:45 > 0:24:47Carling Black Label, as far as I'm concerned.
0:24:47 > 0:24:49I walk into a bar, they say, "Hey, the old Carling..."
0:24:49 > 0:24:52# Carling Black Label. #
0:24:52 > 0:24:53'We were young and just started out'
0:24:53 > 0:24:55and it was great exposure for us.
0:24:55 > 0:24:56Bob, if I'm not mistaken,
0:24:56 > 0:24:58you've just come back from
0:24:58 > 0:24:59a romantic weekend in Brighton.
0:24:59 > 0:25:01APPLAUSE
0:25:01 > 0:25:03'We were endorsing a product on nationwide TV that'
0:25:03 > 0:25:08A, we liked, and B, people thought was funny, and we were comedians. It was a win-win situation.
0:25:08 > 0:25:09- Here.- Yes, I do.
0:25:09 > 0:25:11Your best bet for a fuller flavour.
0:25:11 > 0:25:14We weren't overwhelmed with dialogue, know what I mean?
0:25:14 > 0:25:16# ..to make me blue
0:25:16 > 0:25:19# With some other guy You knew before
0:25:19 > 0:25:23# Between the two of us guys, You know I love you more...
0:25:23 > 0:25:26Hey! I bet he drinks Carling Black Label.
0:25:26 > 0:25:29No. He doesn't wash his underpants.
0:25:29 > 0:25:31'They cut that bit out'
0:25:31 > 0:25:34where I turn the page without moving my hands, though.
0:25:37 > 0:25:40MASK GARBLES SPEECH
0:25:40 > 0:25:43'The ones we did with Roger were just epic.'
0:25:44 > 0:25:47'I mean, these were big film studio numbers.'
0:25:50 > 0:25:52'The Dambusters script'
0:25:52 > 0:25:53was to die for, really.
0:25:53 > 0:25:56MASKS GARBLE THEIR SPEECH
0:25:56 > 0:25:59- ROGER:- 'It was a bit of a contentious subject,
0:25:59 > 0:26:02'because the widows of some of the pilots who
0:26:02 > 0:26:06'were on the Dambusters mission are still alive and...'
0:26:06 > 0:26:08MASK GARBLES SPEECH
0:26:08 > 0:26:12'The agency, I think, ran it for the Dambusters Association.
0:26:12 > 0:26:14'They thought it was very funny, but all they were really'
0:26:14 > 0:26:17interested in was where did we get the Lancaster bomber from.
0:26:24 > 0:26:26MASK GARBLES SPEECH
0:26:28 > 0:26:29I bet he drinks Carling Black Label.
0:26:29 > 0:26:31HIS SPEECH IS GARBLED
0:26:31 > 0:26:33Roger. Over and out.
0:26:33 > 0:26:35The campaign ran seven years
0:26:35 > 0:26:37and the big challenge was keeping up the standard.
0:26:37 > 0:26:38We're pushing on to Car-ling.
0:26:38 > 0:26:41What? 30 miles through this jungle?
0:26:41 > 0:26:44New people came and started doing what we thought were offensive stuff,
0:26:44 > 0:26:46racist and sexist stuff, wasn't it?
0:26:46 > 0:26:48On foot? Overnight?
0:26:48 > 0:26:49With no chopper cover?
0:26:49 > 0:26:51ALL: Count us in, Sarge!
0:26:51 > 0:26:54Sarge? Count me out.
0:26:54 > 0:26:57We're supposed to go, "Oh, I bet he drinks Carling Black Label."
0:26:57 > 0:26:59HE SPEAKS IN ANOTHER LANGUAGE
0:26:59 > 0:27:00'No way!'
0:27:00 > 0:27:03They'd written the jingle, it was # Car-ring Brack Label... #
0:27:03 > 0:27:05'And we stopped the gig and we said...'
0:27:05 > 0:27:07"Can we have a word with the director?"
0:27:07 > 0:27:09And the whole thing stopped for hours.
0:27:09 > 0:27:12HE SPEAKS IN ANOTHER LANGUAGE
0:27:12 > 0:27:14Is it possible for your comedy to survive
0:27:14 > 0:27:16the commercial imperative?
0:27:19 > 0:27:22In the end, it's about that, lucre.
0:27:23 > 0:27:25And advertising has always been...
0:27:25 > 0:27:27that's been the arrangement, you know?
0:27:28 > 0:27:29Do you drink Guinness?
0:27:29 > 0:27:31'I always liked that quote'
0:27:31 > 0:27:33by George Orwell who said that
0:27:33 > 0:27:36"Advertising is the rattling of a stick inside a swill bucket."
0:27:37 > 0:27:38Oooh!
0:27:42 > 0:27:44'You know, Bill Hicks has the line'
0:27:44 > 0:27:49on commercials that the hard-minded young stand-up follows, which is
0:27:49 > 0:27:53if you appear in a commercial, "you're off the artistic roll call."
0:27:55 > 0:27:57The summer temperature here at the Domecq vineyards
0:27:57 > 0:27:59can reach 100 degrees.
0:27:59 > 0:28:00JO: 'The biggest problems for me
0:28:00 > 0:28:03'with advertising is that you sort of become'
0:28:03 > 0:28:05someone's verbal gimp.
0:28:08 > 0:28:10Nature's very wonderful.
0:28:11 > 0:28:14There's a delicious wing of soft cheese.
0:28:14 > 0:28:16'But I kind of figure, especially with voice-overs...'
0:28:16 > 0:28:19Cap-wice.
0:28:19 > 0:28:20'It allows me the'
0:28:20 > 0:28:23money to do other things that may lose money.
0:28:23 > 0:28:25That's my story, anyway.
0:28:25 > 0:28:28I do understand, when someone says,
0:28:28 > 0:28:31"I want you to do seven minutes work for what you'd
0:28:31 > 0:28:32normally earn in a year."
0:28:32 > 0:28:34The floor's got a carpet.
0:28:34 > 0:28:37Why can't I have some nice wallpaper like this?
0:28:37 > 0:28:38Or this?
0:28:38 > 0:28:40JO: So many people say to me,
0:28:40 > 0:28:43"What does that matter, you silly cow?
0:28:43 > 0:28:46"They're offering you half a million for this, or whatever it is.
0:28:46 > 0:28:49"You know, just take the money and shut your gob."
0:28:49 > 0:28:52- Have you noticed the hat I'm wearing, Hugh?- No.
0:28:52 > 0:28:55It's a very special kind of hat. It's called a Panama.
0:28:55 > 0:28:57Who cares? But I do care.
0:28:57 > 0:29:00I care that I can't say what I want.
0:29:00 > 0:29:04Panama have six marvellously mild cigars in every box.
0:29:04 > 0:29:06I would say that, on balance,
0:29:06 > 0:29:10it's not easy to recover from a hit to your image,
0:29:10 > 0:29:13where as a hit to your bank balance, you could probably get by.
0:29:13 > 0:29:15Sirocco.
0:29:15 > 0:29:17The suit to wear when things get hot.
0:29:17 > 0:29:20I'm not decrying people who do the advert.
0:29:20 > 0:29:22If you've got no money and you're an actor...
0:29:22 > 0:29:25Virtually uncrushable, because of the terylene that's in there,
0:29:25 > 0:29:27along with the wool and mohair.
0:29:27 > 0:29:30'Go and do the advert. That's what you do. OK, that's fine.
0:29:30 > 0:29:34But if you are a comic who's on a panel show or you're on TV...
0:29:35 > 0:29:38Hey, Mr museum man! How old and how much is that vase?
0:29:38 > 0:29:41It's 1,000 years old and worth £10,000.
0:29:41 > 0:29:44..you're fine. Why are you doing this? Why are you grubbing around?
0:29:44 > 0:29:48Ha ha! This Curly Wurly, with all its miles of chewy toffee,
0:29:48 > 0:29:50covered in creamy Cadbury's chocolate,
0:29:50 > 0:29:52is ten minutes old, only costs 3p.
0:29:52 > 0:29:53It's just greed at that point.
0:29:53 > 0:29:55Savings like this cheeseburger.
0:29:55 > 0:29:56Only 59p.
0:29:56 > 0:29:58People have two live with themselves, OK?
0:29:58 > 0:30:00Themselves and their own conscience.
0:30:00 > 0:30:02There's free delivery,
0:30:02 > 0:30:03within a two foot radius.
0:30:03 > 0:30:06If your moral compass is in place, and you have taken
0:30:06 > 0:30:09lots of money from somebody maybe inappropriate...
0:30:09 > 0:30:11I don't think it's particularly appropriate
0:30:11 > 0:30:13for sporting people to be sponsoring crisps,
0:30:13 > 0:30:17but if they can live with themselves, then good luck.
0:30:22 > 0:30:23Nein. Nein.
0:30:23 > 0:30:25Play for Pepsi.
0:30:28 > 0:30:31What do you do if you come across the chief executive of Tesco's
0:30:31 > 0:30:32drowning in a canal?
0:30:32 > 0:30:36Well, you whip your old chap out, pee all over him and shout,
0:30:36 > 0:30:37"Every little helps!"
0:30:37 > 0:30:39After I started doing this joke,
0:30:39 > 0:30:42I got a call saying would I do a
0:30:42 > 0:30:46"Every little helps!" strapline video
0:30:46 > 0:30:48and I said no.
0:30:48 > 0:30:53To my great credit and smugness, I declined.
0:30:53 > 0:30:55Although I could have done with the
0:30:55 > 0:30:56easy money, in a way.
0:30:56 > 0:30:58Hello, Nobby.
0:30:58 > 0:31:00I bought you some Holsten Pils.
0:31:00 > 0:31:02I remember getting phoned up to do an advert...
0:31:02 > 0:31:04Most of the sugar turns to alcohol, you know?
0:31:04 > 0:31:07"Would you come and do an audition for Holsten Pils?"
0:31:07 > 0:31:09Look at the head on that.
0:31:09 > 0:31:10It's too big.
0:31:10 > 0:31:12Maybe I should slant the glass a bit more.
0:31:12 > 0:31:15And I said, "I don't do adverts and I don't drink."
0:31:15 > 0:31:17And they went, "Uh... uh... But you wouldn't have to drink."
0:31:17 > 0:31:19I said, "No, I don't drink alcohol."
0:31:19 > 0:31:23They said, "You wouldn't have to. It wouldn't be beer. We'd just put something else in."
0:31:23 > 0:31:25I said, "No, you don't understand. I don't drink."
0:31:25 > 0:31:27Keep your hair on, Nobby.
0:31:27 > 0:31:30I'll save this for you till you get out.
0:31:30 > 0:31:32I said, "Look, how much is it worth?"
0:31:32 > 0:31:35And they said, "It's going to be about 70 grand."
0:31:35 > 0:31:36When is that?
0:31:36 > 0:31:39Nine more years and six months in this hole.
0:31:39 > 0:31:41An enormous sum of money.
0:31:41 > 0:31:44And I went, "Look, this is the best no I've ever said."
0:31:44 > 0:31:47I have a really useful system, called 'Look yourself in the eye.'
0:31:47 > 0:31:50If I get an offer, I go to a mirror, look myself in the eye and go,
0:31:50 > 0:31:52"Do you want to do this?"
0:31:52 > 0:31:53And the answer comes back immediately
0:31:53 > 0:31:56and it saves a lot of toing and froing and umming and ahhing
0:31:56 > 0:31:58and calculation and the very rational response of
0:31:58 > 0:32:01thinking about money versus what it will do for my career. All that.
0:32:01 > 0:32:04I just go to a mirror, I go, "Should you be doing this?" It's usually no.
0:32:04 > 0:32:07If I've gone to the mirror in the first place, the answer's usually no.
0:32:07 > 0:32:10But for Rhod, there was one ad that
0:32:10 > 0:32:12meant he didn't have to sell out.
0:32:12 > 0:32:14Supposedly, holidays have changed!
0:32:14 > 0:32:16'The Welsh Tourist Board adverts'
0:32:16 > 0:32:19are the only adverts I've done. They're the only adverts I would do.
0:32:19 > 0:32:22Absolutely no idea that we had wine in Wales.
0:32:22 > 0:32:25If I've got any brand, any value, I do not want to attach that to
0:32:25 > 0:32:27a product, a meaningless thing that I don't... I don't.
0:32:27 > 0:32:29It's me off the telly!
0:32:29 > 0:32:30CHEERING
0:32:30 > 0:32:33I am the man in the Visit Wales ads!
0:32:33 > 0:32:35CHEERING
0:32:35 > 0:32:39But, I'm happy to say to people, "Come to Wales on holiday."
0:32:39 > 0:32:42Because I think, with a bit of luck from that,
0:32:42 > 0:32:45tourism is good for Wales and we all benefit from it, collectively.
0:32:45 > 0:32:48How many of you have been to Wales as a direct result of seeing my advert?
0:32:48 > 0:32:50A FEW PEOPLE CHEER
0:32:50 > 0:32:52LAUGHTER
0:32:52 > 0:32:54Piss off!
0:32:54 > 0:32:56LAUGHTER
0:32:56 > 0:32:58Why haven't you been? Two of you?
0:32:58 > 0:33:00Why haven't the rest of you been? Wales is all right,
0:33:00 > 0:33:02it's not shit anymore, we've done it up!
0:33:02 > 0:33:03LAUGHTER
0:33:03 > 0:33:05Welcome.
0:33:05 > 0:33:07This room, where I slept last night, what exactly is local?
0:33:07 > 0:33:09You've got the blankets, the art on the wall
0:33:09 > 0:33:12and the bed that you slept on last night. That's why you slept so well.
0:33:12 > 0:33:14It was all about what a wonderful time
0:33:14 > 0:33:17I was having in Wales, how well I slept on a lovely Welsh bed.
0:33:17 > 0:33:18Wooo!
0:33:19 > 0:33:21Woo!
0:33:21 > 0:33:25The reality was, they picked me up in Sheffield after a gig at midnight, drove me to a hotel.
0:33:25 > 0:33:27I got there at 4am and we started filming at six.
0:33:27 > 0:33:29I was absolutely knackered.
0:33:29 > 0:33:31I've never wanted to be anywhere less in my life.
0:33:31 > 0:33:34That's TV. Just stick a bit of slap on and get out there.
0:33:36 > 0:33:37I've never felt so Welsh.
0:33:41 > 0:33:46Ads and corporate make a huge difference to a comic's earnings.
0:33:46 > 0:33:50As they start to appear on TV, their price tag skyrockets.
0:33:50 > 0:33:54But it all starts with the hard graft of the stand-up circuit.
0:33:57 > 0:33:59I know people have got mixed opinions about Jimmy Carr,
0:33:59 > 0:34:02'but, you see, he was the hardest working comic on the circuit.
0:34:02 > 0:34:06'What happens is, some people want to be comedians, it's like wannabe musicians.'
0:34:06 > 0:34:07They look at the X Factor.
0:34:07 > 0:34:09But, as we know, people want it too quick and too easy.
0:34:09 > 0:34:13This is quite typical of what you'd get on a Friday night show
0:34:13 > 0:34:14at an independent comedy club.
0:34:14 > 0:34:17They've converted the room, we're normally just part of the bar.
0:34:17 > 0:34:20But it's often the sort of rooms you play,
0:34:20 > 0:34:22which is sort of halfway between the pub gigs people do
0:34:22 > 0:34:25when they're starting out in the back room of a little pub,
0:34:25 > 0:34:27to the higher end, into that middle ground.
0:34:27 > 0:34:30If you aren't willing to drive to Cornwall and back,
0:34:30 > 0:34:33five hours each way, to do ten minutes for nothing, you won't make it.
0:34:33 > 0:34:35I did it and now I earn a living from comedy, and Jimmy Carr does.
0:34:35 > 0:34:38Russell Howard went round the country for nothing.
0:34:38 > 0:34:42The acts that are now doing TV would have played exactly these rooms over the last eight years.
0:34:42 > 0:34:44If you name anybody on telly,
0:34:44 > 0:34:46they killed themselves on the circuit for years.
0:34:46 > 0:34:49Michael McIntyre was on the circuit for nine years before he did
0:34:49 > 0:34:53any telly at all, working night after night after night in little pubs
0:34:53 > 0:34:55in gigs, bars, anywhere.
0:34:55 > 0:34:58Michael McIntyre famously had this little Rover. Hardly enough money for the petrol.
0:34:58 > 0:35:01What I'm saying is, these guys have made it through being good,
0:35:01 > 0:35:04but coupled with relentless, relentless work rate.
0:35:04 > 0:35:08If they hadn't, no way they could be where they are.
0:35:10 > 0:35:13Like all the comedy big hitters,
0:35:13 > 0:35:16Jason Manford had to start at the bottom of the heap.
0:35:16 > 0:35:17He's worked his way up,
0:35:17 > 0:35:21and now commands, for a single corporate event,
0:35:21 > 0:35:23£25,000.
0:35:23 > 0:35:25If Jason's out of your price range,
0:35:25 > 0:35:27there are alternatives.
0:35:27 > 0:35:33Right, hello. Firstly, welcome to comedy night at the casino. Hey?
0:35:33 > 0:35:35A FEW PEOPLE CHEER
0:35:35 > 0:35:37Well, only three of you are excited about this. Come on.
0:35:37 > 0:35:39We can do better than that, can't we?
0:35:39 > 0:35:42Colin Manford is particularly interesting, cos he's Jason's brother...
0:35:42 > 0:35:46You're single? Let's have a little chat with you, then.
0:35:46 > 0:35:49..which is a very interesting sort of dynamic,
0:35:49 > 0:35:50cos I've known Jason since he started.
0:35:50 > 0:35:53Listen, I'm going to be pretty forward with you, right?
0:35:53 > 0:35:55I'm only here for one night.
0:35:55 > 0:35:56LAUGHTER
0:35:56 > 0:35:58I've got a free bar and a Travelodge.
0:35:58 > 0:36:00LAUGHTER
0:36:00 > 0:36:02It's a difficult thing with Colin,
0:36:02 > 0:36:04cos Colin wants to be judged on his own merits.
0:36:04 > 0:36:06- That'll do.- That'll do?
0:36:06 > 0:36:08Fuckin' love this place already, man.
0:36:08 > 0:36:11I've been asking that question for about a year, right?
0:36:11 > 0:36:14But then again, if you're managing him and someone says,
0:36:14 > 0:36:16"We'd like someone at our Christmas party."
0:36:16 > 0:36:19I'm looking forward to this, Rachel. I'm a gentle lover.
0:36:19 > 0:36:24"Can we get Jason Manford? But we only have £500," you think,
0:36:24 > 0:36:25"Perhaps you'll like Colin Manford?"
0:36:25 > 0:36:28You keep drinking until I look attractive, right?
0:36:28 > 0:36:30LAUGHTER
0:36:30 > 0:36:33If Colin makes it to the very top of the corporate comedy pile,
0:36:33 > 0:36:35he'll need to handle something a bit bigger
0:36:35 > 0:36:38than 35 people in a provincial casino.
0:36:41 > 0:36:45This is The Great Room at Mayfair's Grosvenor House.
0:36:47 > 0:36:49Roomy, isn't it?
0:36:49 > 0:36:53For decades, this was the toughest corporate venue in the business.
0:36:54 > 0:36:58West End booker Jeremy Lee named his own office after this place
0:36:58 > 0:37:02and he knows just what it means to many of his high earning acts.
0:37:02 > 0:37:06Just give you some idea how popular and how important
0:37:06 > 0:37:08this room is in the business.
0:37:08 > 0:37:13We've put 120 people onto this stage this year.
0:37:13 > 0:37:17Interestingly, this used to be known as "the mausoleum of comedy."
0:37:17 > 0:37:18MACHINE BEEPS
0:37:18 > 0:37:21That's not just because when you're saying something a cherry picker
0:37:21 > 0:37:23suddenly makes a lot of noise.
0:37:23 > 0:37:27What happened was, in the old days there was a hydraulic dancefloor
0:37:27 > 0:37:31and that meant that people didn't used to put tables onto it,
0:37:31 > 0:37:32because they'd have to move them.
0:37:32 > 0:37:36So the comic will be playing across an acre of empty dancefloor
0:37:36 > 0:37:39with a top table miles in the distance.
0:37:39 > 0:37:42An audience over there, an audience over there.
0:37:42 > 0:37:45And, if it was busy, then they'd be way up on the balconies too.
0:37:45 > 0:37:49And very, very difficult to engage with them.
0:37:50 > 0:37:54One famous comic who fell foul of the curse of The Great Room
0:37:54 > 0:37:56was Rhod Gilbert.
0:37:56 > 0:37:59I can remember doing the PFA,
0:37:59 > 0:38:02Professional Footballers' Association, and it was
0:38:02 > 0:38:06the most money I'd been paid for a corporate at that point in my life.
0:38:06 > 0:38:08The most money I'd been paid for any gig.
0:38:08 > 0:38:11There were 1,000 people there and I can remember standing there
0:38:11 > 0:38:13and doing half an hour to...
0:38:14 > 0:38:15..almost silence.
0:38:15 > 0:38:19And even talking about it now almost brings a tear to my eye
0:38:19 > 0:38:21about how I felt inside doing that.
0:38:21 > 0:38:25I can remember Rio Ferdinand, Giggs.
0:38:25 > 0:38:27I could see the Man United table.
0:38:27 > 0:38:28Paul Scholes, people like that.
0:38:28 > 0:38:30I could see them there and I could see some of them
0:38:30 > 0:38:33just looking at me sort of head down,
0:38:33 > 0:38:35avoiding eye contact.
0:38:35 > 0:38:37And then, I can remember...
0:38:37 > 0:38:39I'm doing my set as I'm thinking this.
0:38:39 > 0:38:41I can remember looking at Alex Ferguson's back.
0:38:42 > 0:38:45Looking at his back - he was chatting to the guy next to him
0:38:45 > 0:38:48with his back to me while I was doing my stand up set. I just...
0:38:49 > 0:38:51I just wanted to cry.
0:38:51 > 0:38:54Never has somebody's back been so oppressive,
0:38:54 > 0:38:59such a symbol of this awful experience. It was just...
0:38:59 > 0:39:03I don't do them any more and I've got genuine shakes
0:39:03 > 0:39:07and visceral gut reaction just talking about it.
0:39:08 > 0:39:11# I know a fellow policeman
0:39:11 > 0:39:13# He's always on our street
0:39:13 > 0:39:16# A fat and jolly red-faced man... #
0:39:16 > 0:39:19The Great Room doesn't frighten after-dinner veteran
0:39:19 > 0:39:22Barry Cryer, the stalwart star of Radio 4's
0:39:22 > 0:39:24I'm Sorry I haven't A Clue,
0:39:24 > 0:39:26he used tried and tested techniques
0:39:26 > 0:39:30and power hair to deliver the goods for his corporate clients.
0:39:30 > 0:39:32He knows his audience, he does his research.
0:39:32 > 0:39:36There aren't many on the circuit who can really relate to us
0:39:36 > 0:39:38in the way that people like Barry do.
0:39:38 > 0:39:41Tonight, Barry's been booked to entertain an audience of
0:39:41 > 0:39:46industrial engineers at their annual dinner at The Dorchester hotel.
0:39:46 > 0:39:49They won't remember what I said, but they'll remember some of Barry's jokes.
0:39:49 > 0:39:53And I'm sorry, but I haven't got a clue what he's about to say.
0:39:53 > 0:39:56'I don't call it nerves, I call it'
0:39:56 > 0:39:57creative apprehension.
0:39:57 > 0:40:00It's like a runner waiting for the gun, drumming your fingers.
0:40:00 > 0:40:02"Come on, let's do it, let's do it."
0:40:02 > 0:40:05So, ladies and gentlemen, Mr Barry Cryer.
0:40:05 > 0:40:09APPLAUSE
0:40:09 > 0:40:13'You never know. I mean, once you stand up, they're like a jury.
0:40:13 > 0:40:15'You've got to get motoring in the first'
0:40:15 > 0:40:18two or three minutes. It's all unpredictable.
0:40:18 > 0:40:20You know your status as an after-dinner speaker
0:40:20 > 0:40:22by the amount of notice you get.
0:40:22 > 0:40:24The late Peter Ustinov used to get six months,
0:40:24 > 0:40:28David Frost gets three months, Jeremy Paxman gets a month.
0:40:28 > 0:40:30So you can imagine how thrilled I was as I was sitting at home
0:40:30 > 0:40:32watching television last night...
0:40:32 > 0:40:33LAUGHTER
0:40:33 > 0:40:35..and Amelia rang me up.
0:40:35 > 0:40:37Amelia, an old friend,
0:40:37 > 0:40:38not of mine, but...
0:40:38 > 0:40:40LAUGHTER
0:40:40 > 0:40:41I wish she was.
0:40:41 > 0:40:44I get very few specific briefs.
0:40:44 > 0:40:47Frankie Howerd, at the peak of his fame, got one of these,
0:40:47 > 0:40:49in the old days, a letter saying,
0:40:49 > 0:40:52"Bad language is not appreciated and da, da, da,"
0:40:52 > 0:40:54and he read it out to the audience.
0:40:54 > 0:40:55They loved it.
0:40:55 > 0:40:57Naming the man who'd written it.
0:40:58 > 0:41:00Jokes, jokes, jokes.
0:41:00 > 0:41:03The doorbell of a brothel rang and a madam opened it
0:41:03 > 0:41:06and there was a man with some 80 summers and even more winters.
0:41:06 > 0:41:08He said, "I want Natalie, please."
0:41:09 > 0:41:11She said, "Natalie is the most expensive girl in the place.
0:41:11 > 0:41:14"She's £1,000." "No problem," he said.
0:41:14 > 0:41:16Money changed hands, business was done.
0:41:16 > 0:41:19Oh, yes, if it goes well, it's a great sensation,
0:41:19 > 0:41:22because you have to win them over.
0:41:22 > 0:41:24Next day, the doorbell rang again, there he is again.
0:41:24 > 0:41:27"Natalie, please." She said, "Nobody's had Natalie twice.
0:41:27 > 0:41:30"She's still £1,000." "There it is."
0:41:30 > 0:41:32Couple of years ago, I did an after dinner...
0:41:32 > 0:41:37And I'm well aware - and of course, it's increasingly so,
0:41:37 > 0:41:42a younger audience of a company, who've probably no idea who I am...
0:41:42 > 0:41:45Next day, third day, doorbell.
0:41:45 > 0:41:47"Natalie, please."
0:41:47 > 0:41:51Everybody's now intrigued, including Natalie.
0:41:51 > 0:41:53And she said to him, "You interest me.
0:41:53 > 0:41:55"Your accent, for instance.
0:41:55 > 0:41:58"Where are you from?" He said, "I'm from Budapest."
0:41:58 > 0:42:01She said, "I've got a sister in Budapest."
0:42:01 > 0:42:04He said, "I know, she gave me £3,000 to give you."
0:42:04 > 0:42:06LAUGHTER
0:42:06 > 0:42:08'And I had a really good night, a really good night.'
0:42:08 > 0:42:11And the man who booked me, my contact, rang me the next day.
0:42:11 > 0:42:13He said, "A young guy at our table said,
0:42:13 > 0:42:16"Who's the old fart at the top table?""
0:42:16 > 0:42:19And he said, "To reassure you, I heard him
0:42:19 > 0:42:22"in the bar afterwards saying, 'He's quite funny, isn't he?'"
0:42:22 > 0:42:24Oh, I'm a realist. I'm a realist.
0:42:27 > 0:42:30Word of mouth counts for more than anything.
0:42:30 > 0:42:34No matter what any of the agents or managers you're talking to
0:42:34 > 0:42:37tell you, and no matter how much
0:42:37 > 0:42:39I might like to think that JLA
0:42:39 > 0:42:41carries a lot of influence,
0:42:41 > 0:42:44in the end, word of mouth trumps everything.
0:42:44 > 0:42:47Intelligence is everything in the corporate world,
0:42:47 > 0:42:49but you need to know where to look.
0:42:49 > 0:42:52Try the pavement outside.
0:42:52 > 0:42:54He's a really good fun guy, actually, Jeremy.
0:42:54 > 0:42:57And I hope he's stopped smoking. He's a chain smoker.
0:42:57 > 0:43:01So, welcome to the pavement outside Grosvenor House.
0:43:01 > 0:43:04And this is where you find out how well
0:43:04 > 0:43:06a speaker or an act has gone down.
0:43:06 > 0:43:08- RHOD:- He's the only man who smoked more than me.
0:43:08 > 0:43:11At corporate gigs, I'd be out the back door of the Dorchester,
0:43:11 > 0:43:14getting through 40 cigarettes in the hour and a half before the show.
0:43:14 > 0:43:16He's the only man who would match me and then beat me
0:43:16 > 0:43:19for fags, because he'd be smoking while I was on stage as well.
0:43:19 > 0:43:21It used to be that you went to the loo
0:43:21 > 0:43:23and just sort of overhear somebody
0:43:23 > 0:43:25saying whether they liked him or not.
0:43:25 > 0:43:29These days, it's straight out onto the pavement with fellow smokers.
0:43:29 > 0:43:33Of course, that means you only get to find out what smokers think,
0:43:33 > 0:43:35but they have an opinion.
0:43:43 > 0:43:47Meanwhile, in his Monte Carlo apartment, John Cleese is working
0:43:47 > 0:43:53on his autobiography, looking back over 50 years in the business.
0:43:53 > 0:43:55During his time on The Frost Report,
0:43:55 > 0:43:57Cleese met the writer Anthony Jay.
0:43:58 > 0:44:01I wanted to work with Tony and I always said if he'd said,
0:44:01 > 0:44:03"Let's open a dolphinarium in Oxford Street,"
0:44:03 > 0:44:05I would have said, "OK, I'm on board."
0:44:05 > 0:44:08Jay had spotted a gap in the corporate market.
0:44:08 > 0:44:11He said, "I have this idea of making training films.
0:44:11 > 0:44:14"The stuff out there is so dull."
0:44:14 > 0:44:17It's not just boring, but they didn't tell you anything.
0:44:17 > 0:44:19I mean, the whole point of a training film is that after it
0:44:19 > 0:44:21you do something better.
0:44:21 > 0:44:22And I didn't see with any of them
0:44:22 > 0:44:25what I was supposed to do any differently from what I was doing.
0:44:25 > 0:44:28And I thought, "Yeah, we can do better than that, that's for sure."
0:44:28 > 0:44:31Together, they found a middle way of making money from the
0:44:31 > 0:44:35corporate world, using their talent and profile to sell a product
0:44:35 > 0:44:40they believed in, but one over which they had complete creative control.
0:44:41 > 0:44:45I was a National Serviceman in the Signals, 1952 to 1954,
0:44:45 > 0:44:48and one of the things in our training included films.
0:44:50 > 0:44:54You may have met a few people who like doing this sort of thing.
0:44:54 > 0:44:57They're a nuisance, I agree, but pretty harmless.
0:44:57 > 0:45:00You have certainly seen thousands like this.
0:45:00 > 0:45:03They're not a nuisance, they're a real danger.
0:45:03 > 0:45:05'One of the ones I remember'
0:45:05 > 0:45:07particularly was one
0:45:07 > 0:45:10about training people not to get ill
0:45:10 > 0:45:12or do things that risk their health.
0:45:12 > 0:45:14- Stop it, you! - HE SNEEZES
0:45:14 > 0:45:15Stop it! Stop it!
0:45:15 > 0:45:17Come here, what do you think you're up to?
0:45:17 > 0:45:18'And it was terribly memorable'
0:45:18 > 0:45:20and people laughed like anything at this chap
0:45:20 > 0:45:21doing all the wrong things.
0:45:21 > 0:45:24And so I realised that actually
0:45:24 > 0:45:26you could use film as a positive training instrument.
0:45:26 > 0:45:29Now, handkerchief. Sneeze.
0:45:29 > 0:45:30HE SNEEZES
0:45:30 > 0:45:31Sneeze, handkerchief.
0:45:31 > 0:45:32HE SNEEZES
0:45:32 > 0:45:34Got it? Fine.
0:45:36 > 0:45:40Cleese was one of the 1960's comic glitterati.
0:45:41 > 0:45:45But, back then, he wasn't earning as much as you might think.
0:45:45 > 0:45:48You've got to remember that they now, the young comedians,
0:45:48 > 0:45:50make a fortune. We never did.
0:45:50 > 0:45:53I remember writing about myself, "He does a lot of work for charity,
0:45:53 > 0:45:54"most of it for the BBC."
0:45:54 > 0:45:57I mean, the fees were very, very tiny.
0:45:57 > 0:46:01This was the era of runaway inflation, huge eyebrows,
0:46:01 > 0:46:03punitive budgets and super taxation.
0:46:03 > 0:46:07'When I started in '66,'
0:46:07 > 0:46:10the income tax levels were 83%.
0:46:11 > 0:46:15And the tax and on unearned income was 98%.
0:46:15 > 0:46:1739, take one.
0:46:17 > 0:46:20And this was a way of making a bit of
0:46:20 > 0:46:23stashable cash under a tax regime,
0:46:23 > 0:46:25under Harold Wilson,
0:46:25 > 0:46:29where it was almost impossible to stash any cash.
0:46:29 > 0:46:34In 1972, they launched their company from a friend's kitchen.
0:46:34 > 0:46:37In the early days, it was hilarious, because dear Maggie Tree,
0:46:37 > 0:46:41who was basically in charge of the production all those years,
0:46:41 > 0:46:43she cleared the stuff off her
0:46:43 > 0:46:45breakfast table in the flat and...
0:46:47 > 0:46:49HE LAUGHS
0:46:49 > 0:46:50..and moved the marmalade and
0:46:50 > 0:46:52pretty much, we start business.
0:46:53 > 0:46:57- Yes, but your Majesty.- Walsingham, are you disputing my decision?
0:46:57 > 0:46:59- Well...- Right!
0:46:59 > 0:47:02- That's the yellow card for you, then.- Look!
0:47:02 > 0:47:03No, I don't, sir. I mean, I can't.
0:47:03 > 0:47:05It is a physical impossibility.
0:47:05 > 0:47:07It's not a physical impossibility.
0:47:07 > 0:47:09I'm not asking you to defy the laws of the universe.
0:47:09 > 0:47:12'If these films weren't credible, they'd be useless.
0:47:12 > 0:47:15'It was only if people went away saying, "Oh, yeah.'
0:47:15 > 0:47:18"I've seen that happen. I've met people like that.
0:47:18 > 0:47:19"Oh, God, I've done that myself."
0:47:19 > 0:47:21That's the sort of thing that
0:47:21 > 0:47:24makes people actually change their behaviour and become
0:47:24 > 0:47:28better at their job, which is the only purpose of a training film.
0:47:28 > 0:47:30There are four main traps at our disposal...
0:47:36 > 0:47:38The key to it was this,
0:47:38 > 0:47:43the humour in our films always arose out of the teaching point.
0:47:43 > 0:47:45You shut up! You come barging in here
0:47:45 > 0:47:47under false pretences, wasting our time
0:47:47 > 0:47:48when we right up against it
0:47:48 > 0:47:51getting ready for a very important visit!
0:47:51 > 0:47:54Mr Graham, I think your visitors from the Palace are here.
0:47:54 > 0:47:55Oh, another one from the Palace, hey?
0:47:55 > 0:47:58I suppose you'll be wanting to see the drains, then!
0:47:58 > 0:48:01Let me guess, you're the royal sanitary inspector, hey?
0:48:01 > 0:48:02Well, I've had it with you lot!
0:48:02 > 0:48:05Over the years, the company had a strict policy of only hiring
0:48:05 > 0:48:08Britain's top comic talent.
0:48:09 > 0:48:11Do you want a light, Tim?
0:48:11 > 0:48:13Oh, thanks.
0:48:13 > 0:48:15And this man, who's now unheard of.
0:48:15 > 0:48:18In fact, yes! You're both...
0:48:18 > 0:48:20f...f...f...f...f...
0:48:20 > 0:48:22First class. Absolutely fabulous.
0:48:22 > 0:48:26I think the casting of the films was very much a part of our success.
0:48:26 > 0:48:28You really should be careful. It's a very wet morning.
0:48:28 > 0:48:30We did take a lot of trouble.
0:48:30 > 0:48:32We made absolutely sure we got top-class people.
0:48:32 > 0:48:36Did you ask Sale or Accounts or Production exactly what
0:48:36 > 0:48:39- their requirement were? - But I thought I knew.
0:48:39 > 0:48:43We got the best actors because we paid the same as television.
0:48:43 > 0:48:46It was lower profile, so there was much less sort of anxiety and stress.
0:48:46 > 0:48:49If the film didn't work, a training film didn't work,
0:48:49 > 0:48:51your career was not in jeopardy, you know?
0:48:51 > 0:48:55- I'm very grateful, but Peter and I talked about it over the weekend...- Listen.
0:48:55 > 0:48:58Let me tell you something about people. They don't like change, OK?
0:48:58 > 0:49:00But they soon get used to it.
0:49:00 > 0:49:02After a few weeks, they don't even remember.
0:49:02 > 0:49:06And we used to - I insisted on this - give them good lunches.
0:49:06 > 0:49:10So they got their normal day's pay, they got a good lunch
0:49:10 > 0:49:13and it was more relaxed, so we could get anyone we wanted.
0:49:13 > 0:49:17Video Arts remains of rare example of creatives in total charge
0:49:17 > 0:49:20of their own commercial affairs.
0:49:20 > 0:49:22- Hail Caesar.- Hail Caesar.
0:49:22 > 0:49:24Hail myself.
0:49:26 > 0:49:31Some feel 21st-century advertising is a very different story...
0:49:31 > 0:49:32DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS
0:49:32 > 0:49:35You see, we're not on price comparison websites.
0:49:35 > 0:49:36You have to come to us directly.
0:49:36 > 0:49:38Oh, why so timid, scaredy-cat?
0:49:38 > 0:49:41No, it's not that. We like to deal with you directly...
0:49:41 > 0:49:44CLUCKS LIKE A CHICKEN
0:49:44 > 0:49:46Sorry I'm late. Is this yours? I found it on the door.
0:49:46 > 0:49:51..that the age of comedy brilliance in advertising is over.
0:49:51 > 0:49:52Cook, you villain!
0:49:52 > 0:49:54I think that now there's more of a fear.
0:49:54 > 0:49:57Sliders. That's how we roll here.
0:49:57 > 0:49:59'The feeling I get is that'
0:49:59 > 0:50:03the clients are very dominant
0:50:03 > 0:50:06and the agencies are quite frightened of them.
0:50:07 > 0:50:10See? It's now Earl's turn on the music player.
0:50:10 > 0:50:12DANCE MUSIC PLAYS
0:50:12 > 0:50:15My kids have been watching my ads since they were babies.
0:50:15 > 0:50:20They just bemoan the fact that there are no funny ads on telly anymore.
0:50:21 > 0:50:24This is Charlie Brooker's take on the creative pressure
0:50:24 > 0:50:26involved in making commercials.
0:50:26 > 0:50:30Perhaps you could start by telling us exactly what sort of
0:50:30 > 0:50:33- BLEEP- is attracted to advertising in the first place.
0:50:33 > 0:50:36Well...a lot of people have the idea that working in advertising gives
0:50:36 > 0:50:38you some kind of creative freedom. We don't!
0:50:38 > 0:50:41They siphon off any interesting thoughts you might have
0:50:41 > 0:50:44and use them all to sell boring, everyday objects like cat food.
0:50:44 > 0:50:47so, any creativity is hamstrung?
0:50:47 > 0:50:50Well, that's assuming there was any creativity in the first place.
0:50:50 > 0:50:52When you're shooting, a cable runs out of the
0:50:52 > 0:50:53back of the camera, to a nearby room
0:50:53 > 0:50:56where the image you make is being watched by anything up to 30 people.
0:50:56 > 0:50:59It's a bit like writing a book while the editor, publisher and printer
0:50:59 > 0:51:02stand over your shoulder, nudging your arms, saying,
0:51:02 > 0:51:04"Don't push that key, push that one! No, that one!"
0:51:10 > 0:51:12Funny enough, I think funny ads
0:51:12 > 0:51:15are less and less seen, because
0:51:15 > 0:51:18advertising is a serious business
0:51:18 > 0:51:20and so we're sometimes a bit flippant
0:51:20 > 0:51:22that the answer could be a gag.
0:51:24 > 0:51:27When I worked in advertising, the process would be that the
0:51:27 > 0:51:30scriptwriters or the copywriters would come up with something
0:51:30 > 0:51:34they thought was downright hilarious and then, bit by bit,
0:51:34 > 0:51:38the client, the dullard suits, would come in and chip away and chip away.
0:51:38 > 0:51:42And so, if you're writing a funny ad, it really has to
0:51:42 > 0:51:47have the stamina to get through a really difficult process.
0:51:47 > 0:51:49Slowly but surely, everything averages down
0:51:49 > 0:51:52and you end up with something that's lowest common denominator.
0:51:53 > 0:51:58What happens is, when people lose confidence,
0:51:58 > 0:52:00when they get scared,
0:52:00 > 0:52:03that's the end of almost anything good creatively.
0:52:03 > 0:52:06Because, first of all, they want to know what you're going to do
0:52:06 > 0:52:09and you haven't discovered yet, because the essence of creativity
0:52:09 > 0:52:12is you're going to go somewhere that you can't predict.
0:52:12 > 0:52:16They want to know about that and then they want to control.
0:52:16 > 0:52:21You have this insane situation where people who have never written,
0:52:21 > 0:52:24never directed and never produced...
0:52:26 > 0:52:29..are telling people who can do these skills
0:52:29 > 0:52:32what they should be doing.
0:52:32 > 0:52:35I've got people above me telling me what to do all the time, which
0:52:35 > 0:52:38I didn't used to have and I don't need anyone to tell me what to do.
0:52:38 > 0:52:40I've been doing it a long time.
0:52:40 > 0:52:44So, television has co-opted some of the worst things
0:52:44 > 0:52:48about advertising - focus groups and asking other people
0:52:48 > 0:52:51what they think, instead of doing what we like.
0:52:51 > 0:52:56EERIE ELECTRONIC SLIDING NOTE
0:52:56 > 0:53:00But for comics dreaming of the golden days of creative freedom,
0:53:00 > 0:53:03there's a glimmer of hope for the future.
0:53:03 > 0:53:06EERIE ELECTRONIC SLIDING NOTE
0:53:12 > 0:53:16It's a growing trend in comedy - branded content.
0:53:16 > 0:53:18PHONE RINGS
0:53:18 > 0:53:20- G'day.- Hi!
0:53:20 > 0:53:22It's Lucy from Lancaster.
0:53:22 > 0:53:25Comedy was always part of the DNA of the brand.
0:53:25 > 0:53:27It's very popular with our target audience,
0:53:27 > 0:53:30so 18 to 34-year-old men watch a lot of comedy.
0:53:30 > 0:53:32- 'He always leave the toilet seat up...'- Keep going.
0:53:32 > 0:53:35'..he never helps around the house. I always have to pick up after him.'
0:53:35 > 0:53:39Branded content means that companies pump their money
0:53:39 > 0:53:43into sponsoring the work of writers and performers who fit their image.
0:53:45 > 0:53:47It works a bit like a TV show,
0:53:47 > 0:53:51except that the comedians are in complete charge of what they do.
0:53:51 > 0:53:54It's one part of the marketing mix which advertising's a part,
0:53:54 > 0:53:55sponsorship's a part,
0:53:55 > 0:53:58but also a content-driven engagement platform.
0:53:59 > 0:54:01Yes, this is what a content-driven
0:54:01 > 0:54:04engagement platform looks like.
0:54:04 > 0:54:06In the Europeans, the French,
0:54:06 > 0:54:09they think they're going to have it all their own way.
0:54:09 > 0:54:10They probably are!
0:54:10 > 0:54:13We're not looking for trouble, but if you sent it our way,
0:54:13 > 0:54:15we could certainly come to do something about it.
0:54:15 > 0:54:17# I've got to say
0:54:18 > 0:54:20# You made my day... #
0:54:20 > 0:54:23So long as they don't slag off the product, that's it.
0:54:23 > 0:54:24There's no hard sell
0:54:24 > 0:54:26and it's all about creative freedom.
0:54:26 > 0:54:29You want to join us on Twitter.
0:54:29 > 0:54:33Twitter dot jump the fuck out of your environment.
0:54:33 > 0:54:37Deffo going to win, urban style, because my mum's a prostitute.
0:54:37 > 0:54:41'So, we are not here to censor or write comedy in any form.
0:54:41 > 0:54:43'We're working with the best in the industry'
0:54:43 > 0:54:46and we trust their judgement on what's going to make people laugh.
0:54:46 > 0:54:49This has been extremely urban.
0:54:49 > 0:54:50Graffiti!
0:54:50 > 0:54:52'With Vic and Bob, for example,
0:54:52 > 0:54:54'they were creating new characters just for those
0:54:54 > 0:54:56'short shows that we did and I think,'
0:54:56 > 0:54:59as comedians are becoming more and more savvy to this whole area,
0:54:59 > 0:55:03'then they'll want to use it as a way of breaking new shows altogether.
0:55:03 > 0:55:05Broadcasting legend Alan Partridge
0:55:05 > 0:55:08was a high-profile coup for the company.
0:55:08 > 0:55:10# North Norfolk
0:55:10 > 0:55:13# Digital! #
0:55:13 > 0:55:16We've got to give great credit to Steve Coogan's company,
0:55:16 > 0:55:19Baby Cow, and particularly a guy called Henry Normal,
0:55:19 > 0:55:21because he was very, very progressive
0:55:21 > 0:55:23and forward-thinking in making this happen.
0:55:23 > 0:55:27Steve was totally into it, right from the start.
0:55:27 > 0:55:29- We've got John on line two. Hello, John.- 'Hello, Alan.'
0:55:29 > 0:55:31Where are you calling from?
0:55:31 > 0:55:32'Home.'
0:55:33 > 0:55:35OK. What have you got for us?
0:55:35 > 0:55:37'The idea that Alan Partridge's'
0:55:37 > 0:55:39career has got to the stage
0:55:39 > 0:55:42where he would do an Internet show, it seemed to work creatively.
0:55:42 > 0:55:45'Well, I'd like to stick with Cromwell, please.
0:55:45 > 0:55:49'I think he would drive a Golf 1.6 turbo diesel.'
0:55:49 > 0:55:51Better. Much better.
0:55:51 > 0:55:52'He'd appreciate the economy,
0:55:52 > 0:55:54'but also the build quality and
0:55:54 > 0:55:56'would go for the standard interior,
0:55:56 > 0:55:58'because he wasn't at all flashy.'
0:55:58 > 0:56:00We live with brands. Everybody lives with brands.
0:56:00 > 0:56:03Some people have brands on their clothing.
0:56:03 > 0:56:07We're surrounded by it, so I don't think we can depart from it.
0:56:07 > 0:56:11'I also think that being a Puritan, he'd approve of the functionality,
0:56:11 > 0:56:16'while, as a leader, he'd appreciate the turbo engine.'
0:56:16 > 0:56:19If we're going to have brands in the shows,
0:56:19 > 0:56:22then why not get the money? It seems logical.
0:56:22 > 0:56:25I'm liking this, John. I'm liking this a lot.
0:56:25 > 0:56:28I think this is the best
0:56:28 > 0:56:31call I've ever had.
0:56:31 > 0:56:33- GAYLE:- 'I can't imagine there won't'
0:56:33 > 0:56:36be other brands that will see this as an opportunity. It's massively expanding.
0:56:36 > 0:56:39MATT: I'll quote the chief marketing officer of Coca-Cola.
0:56:39 > 0:56:42"It's no longer about paid for media, it's about entertainment content."
0:56:42 > 0:56:44That's how marketing messages are going to be
0:56:44 > 0:56:45communicated in the future.
0:56:45 > 0:56:47It's not a journey.
0:56:47 > 0:56:49Every journey ends, but we go on.
0:56:49 > 0:56:51I don't think it's for every brand.
0:56:51 > 0:56:55Plans disappear, dreams take over.
0:56:55 > 0:56:57I think if you're a brand that has
0:56:57 > 0:56:59no sense of humour about yourself, it will not work.
0:56:59 > 0:57:01My luck, my fate,
0:57:01 > 0:57:03my fortune.
0:57:03 > 0:57:08So I would advise Chanel never to do it.
0:57:08 > 0:57:10Chanel No 5.
0:57:10 > 0:57:11Inevitable.
0:57:11 > 0:57:15LAUGHTER
0:57:18 > 0:57:21Whether it's the VIP world of corporate entertainment,
0:57:21 > 0:57:23all the more public face of advertising...
0:57:23 > 0:57:25Hello, Colin.
0:57:26 > 0:57:30..even in a recession, companies are still spending a fortune.
0:57:31 > 0:57:33Roger, come on.
0:57:33 > 0:57:34And business forces will continue
0:57:34 > 0:57:37to shape the future of British comedy,
0:57:37 > 0:57:41whatever the impact on comic creativity and innovation.
0:57:42 > 0:57:44Comedy's such a rare thing.
0:57:44 > 0:57:45If you can do it, I think it's right
0:57:45 > 0:57:47that comedians should earn a lot of money.
0:57:47 > 0:57:51I mean, they really, really do earn it. They all suffer in the writing.
0:57:51 > 0:57:53It takes a long time to get anywhere.
0:57:54 > 0:57:57Something in my old-fashioned heart sort of feels that
0:57:57 > 0:58:00comedians shouldn't be businessmen, but, you know,
0:58:00 > 0:58:02you have to get into bed with these things.
0:58:02 > 0:58:04I mean, when I think I could probably
0:58:04 > 0:58:07earn more in a week as a comedian
0:58:07 > 0:58:10than I could in a year when I was a nurse, it's utterly ridiculous.
0:58:10 > 0:58:12Yeah, it's ridiculous.
0:58:13 > 0:58:16If somebody's not worth that money, and people don't want to
0:58:16 > 0:58:18watch that person, they don't get paid that cash.
0:58:18 > 0:58:21I mean, it really is supply and demand, really.
0:58:22 > 0:58:25Well, my honest summing up of it all
0:58:25 > 0:58:27is that wherever you look now,
0:58:27 > 0:58:29money's spoiled it.
0:58:41 > 0:58:44Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd