0:00:02 > 0:00:05There's a good feeling about looking after people out to enjoy themselves.
0:00:05 > 0:00:08So what else can I do but carry on cruising? Any questions?
0:00:08 > 0:00:11This programme contains some strong language.
0:00:11 > 0:00:15Carrying on a holiday at sea is not what it used to be.
0:00:15 > 0:00:18Sid James and Kenneth Williams
0:00:18 > 0:00:22wouldn't recognise these floating cities, population 4,000.
0:00:24 > 0:00:27Once the inhabitants have waved goodbye to land,
0:00:27 > 0:00:30they need one thing 24-7...
0:00:30 > 0:00:31Some kind of activity.
0:00:33 > 0:00:35'A ship makes money when it's sailing'
0:00:35 > 0:00:40and people are on it and they need entertainers and comics all year.
0:00:40 > 0:00:43The fun isn't confined to ports of call.
0:00:43 > 0:00:46The vessel itself has become a destination.
0:00:46 > 0:00:49Yes, you can still get drunk whilst horizontal,
0:00:49 > 0:00:52but you're also encouraged to try the ice rinks, climbing walls,
0:00:52 > 0:00:54casinos and cabarets.
0:00:54 > 0:00:57The world's your oyster without even going ashore.
0:00:57 > 0:01:00And if that strikes you as a voyage of the dammed,
0:01:00 > 0:01:02a lot of people love it.
0:01:02 > 0:01:07It's a 3 billion industry with entertainment at its heart.
0:01:07 > 0:01:09But long before the business was coining it,
0:01:09 > 0:01:13cruisers have had an important relationship with THESE jokers.
0:01:13 > 0:01:18The comedians are as important as anything we do on board this ship.
0:01:18 > 0:01:21Although the love wasn't always reciprocated.
0:01:21 > 0:01:24I would never even TELL them I've done a cruise ship.
0:01:24 > 0:01:26People were telling me, "Your career's ever."
0:01:26 > 0:01:28It's like, oh, you're THAT kind of comic...
0:01:28 > 0:01:31# Volare! Vo... # All that rubbish.
0:01:31 > 0:01:33..which means the worst kind.
0:01:33 > 0:01:35Nowadays, it's changed.
0:01:36 > 0:01:39Changed almost beyond recognition.
0:01:39 > 0:01:41And fortunes can be made by comedians
0:01:41 > 0:01:44who can service this burgeoning audience.
0:01:44 > 0:01:46'Cruising is the gig to have.'
0:01:46 > 0:01:50Cruising now is like the new Las Vegas.
0:01:50 > 0:01:53But as the liners update the entertainment to please a younger,
0:01:53 > 0:01:57cooler audience, they still have to satisfy the old,
0:01:57 > 0:02:01loyal supporters, who've kept them afloat.
0:02:01 > 0:02:02'You've got two worlds there'
0:02:02 > 0:02:06and trying to please those two worlds is very, very hard.
0:02:06 > 0:02:11And so for the cruising comedian, it's a tricky route to navigate.
0:02:11 > 0:02:15It can be a very lonely place and when you lose them, it's very tough.
0:02:15 > 0:02:20Get it wrong and financially, they're in very choppy waters.
0:02:20 > 0:02:23He's effectively walking a tightrope. No safety net.
0:02:23 > 0:02:25'I don't envy him.'
0:02:53 > 0:02:55On the banks of the Clyde,
0:02:55 > 0:02:57the cruise ship, the Ocean Countess,
0:02:57 > 0:03:00is ready to welcome on board 800 passengers,
0:03:00 > 0:03:03who were tempted to give up dry land in exchange for an itinerary
0:03:03 > 0:03:08including stops in the Hebrides and Faroes, lungfuls of sea air
0:03:08 > 0:03:11and if all goes according to plan, gales of laughter.
0:03:13 > 0:03:18Joining them is Jimmy O, making his debut as a comedian at sea.
0:03:18 > 0:03:22After a six-year apprenticeship in working men's clubs
0:03:22 > 0:03:26in the North of England, this could be Jimmy's big break.
0:03:26 > 0:03:28Excuse me, sir, but you're a contributor.
0:03:28 > 0:03:30Oh, I'm in the wrong place?
0:03:30 > 0:03:33- You're in the wrong place, so come this way.- Lovely.- Right, this way.
0:03:33 > 0:03:37Anybody can get a laugh by standing on the stage swearing
0:03:37 > 0:03:40and just being crude. It's like, kind of base.
0:03:40 > 0:03:43But it's really scary to shed all that
0:03:43 > 0:03:45and just put yourself in front of a new audience.
0:03:45 > 0:03:49'You see, I've never been frightened of playing to different audiences.
0:03:49 > 0:03:52'To be honestly with you, I can't wait for this gig here.'
0:03:52 > 0:03:56- Hi!- Club suite.- Are you OK?- Not as good as you, but I'm all right.
0:03:56 > 0:03:59- Can you talk me through all this? - Of course I can.
0:03:59 > 0:04:01I've never been on a boat before.
0:04:01 > 0:04:04- Hello.- How you doing, you all right?- No ticket.
0:04:04 > 0:04:06- No ticket...- Nice to meet you, mate.
0:04:06 > 0:04:09- I'm Jimmy, nice to meet you. What's your name?- Richard Sykes. - Nice to meet you.
0:04:09 > 0:04:12- Good to see you, Jimmy.- Splendid. - Ready to go on board?- Oh, yeah...
0:04:12 > 0:04:135054.
0:04:14 > 0:04:19Leading the way, Jimmy's boss, the cruise director, Richard Sykes.
0:04:19 > 0:04:20Here we go.
0:04:20 > 0:04:23What a lovely chest. RICHARD LAUGHS
0:04:23 > 0:04:26Richard's the man in charge of all the entertainment offered on board.
0:04:26 > 0:04:28Thank you very much.
0:04:28 > 0:04:31If this cruise goes well, suddenly that puts his earning power,
0:04:31 > 0:04:33it more than doubles it, it can treble.
0:04:33 > 0:04:37'Goes to the largest ships, and if you get in demand as a comic,
0:04:37 > 0:04:39'especially if you're something different,'
0:04:39 > 0:04:42then suddenly you're quadrupling it. It really is that essential.
0:04:42 > 0:04:46- Will you get paid?- Yeah. - I mean, take a look at that. That's all you've got to entertain.
0:04:46 > 0:04:48- Lovely, isn't it?- Easy.
0:04:48 > 0:04:50Easy peasy. RICHARD LAUGHS
0:04:51 > 0:04:53Here goes nothing, kids.
0:04:54 > 0:04:58They could earn in the region of between £1,000 and £2,000 per week.
0:04:58 > 0:05:01So, it's a really good living and obviously if you do well,
0:05:01 > 0:05:05if you're booked up, it's a very reliable, very nice income indeed.
0:05:05 > 0:05:09We're seeing more and more acts who in the past
0:05:09 > 0:05:11would perhaps put their nose up at cruising,
0:05:11 > 0:05:14who had a pretty full diary working in the corporate world
0:05:14 > 0:05:16who are now looking at cruising,
0:05:16 > 0:05:19a booming industry, where the corporate markets are dying.
0:05:19 > 0:05:23In a year, I would think 40% of my work is on cruise ships.
0:05:23 > 0:05:24Which is where the people are.
0:05:24 > 0:05:27It's the new Mecca of show business, really.
0:05:27 > 0:05:29FOGHORN
0:05:31 > 0:05:36This tour is run by Cruise and Maritime Voyages, CMV.
0:05:36 > 0:05:38The clientele is a mostly Scottish,
0:05:38 > 0:05:42mostly retired golf club kind of a crowd.
0:05:42 > 0:05:44Not an obvious match for a Wigan lad
0:05:44 > 0:05:46from the harsh northern club circuit.
0:05:48 > 0:05:51There's someone else in the crowd Jimmy must impress.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53Richard Barstow is the company director.
0:05:53 > 0:05:56If he doesn't make them laugh,
0:05:56 > 0:05:58then we're not going to be happy with him.
0:05:58 > 0:06:01And we will probably not re-book him.
0:06:01 > 0:06:02It's not that way, is it?
0:06:04 > 0:06:05Back on ourselves.
0:06:05 > 0:06:09Most of the regular comics here are traditional, safe,
0:06:09 > 0:06:11tried and tested veterans.
0:06:11 > 0:06:12This way?
0:06:12 > 0:06:15The bosses are hoping that a fresh kind of comedy
0:06:15 > 0:06:18- will bring a new audience to their ships.- How are you doing?- Hello.
0:06:18 > 0:06:19Pleased to meet you.
0:06:19 > 0:06:26'For 2013, we're commencing a theme called Laugh On The Ocean Waves,
0:06:26 > 0:06:29which will be featured on a good number of our cruises.
0:06:29 > 0:06:30That way.
0:06:30 > 0:06:36We think there is some room in there to promote individual artists,
0:06:36 > 0:06:41or comedy themes as an incentive for people to book,
0:06:41 > 0:06:43as a promotional tool, if you like.
0:06:43 > 0:06:45- Hello.- Hiya, how are you doing?
0:06:45 > 0:06:47There's a lot riding on this gig,
0:06:47 > 0:06:52not just for Jimmy, but for the man who booked him, Lloyd Cross.
0:06:52 > 0:06:54It's really showcasing to our audience
0:06:54 > 0:06:57the different styles of comedy that there are
0:06:57 > 0:07:00to give me an idea of where possibly we should be going
0:07:00 > 0:07:03in the future and what is suiting our audience.
0:07:05 > 0:07:06So, Jimmy is an experiment.
0:07:06 > 0:07:09If he can connect with his on-board audience, he's laughing,
0:07:09 > 0:07:12with the prospect of a regular billing
0:07:12 > 0:07:15on the company's new comedy line-up.
0:07:15 > 0:07:18It's like Spinal Tap backstage.
0:07:18 > 0:07:20I would like to move towards doing
0:07:20 > 0:07:25a comedy-club-style entertainment on board the ship.
0:07:25 > 0:07:27And that's an idea that I have.
0:07:27 > 0:07:30We'd be going into new territory with that.
0:07:32 > 0:07:35And Jimmy's only competition is himself.
0:07:35 > 0:07:38On this trip, he's the sole comic on board,
0:07:38 > 0:07:41treated like a regular passenger with a room just like them
0:07:41 > 0:07:44and free use of all the on-board facilities.
0:07:44 > 0:07:45See you later.
0:07:47 > 0:07:48Home.
0:07:52 > 0:07:56Last time I was in a room like this, I was locked up for 12 hours a day.
0:07:56 > 0:07:57I'm only joking.
0:08:00 > 0:08:01Up and down the country,
0:08:01 > 0:08:04Jimmy's been killing them on the comedy club circle.
0:08:04 > 0:08:09I was going to go to watch that film, Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes.
0:08:09 > 0:08:14Then, I realised I live on a council estate in Wigan.
0:08:14 > 0:08:16LAUGHTER
0:08:16 > 0:08:18So if I want to see dirty, sweaty primates
0:08:18 > 0:08:21dragging their knuckles across the floor
0:08:21 > 0:08:24I just have to look out the window.
0:08:24 > 0:08:26LAUGHTER
0:08:26 > 0:08:28And it's in 3D.
0:08:28 > 0:08:30LAUGHTER
0:08:31 > 0:08:33This is the first time I've been on a cruise, you know,
0:08:33 > 0:08:38I'm used to playing pubs, clubs, comedy clubs, you know,
0:08:38 > 0:08:41this is an entirely brave new world for me.
0:08:41 > 0:08:43I have to work clean as well,
0:08:43 > 0:08:46which is something, if I'm being honest, I'm not really used to.
0:08:46 > 0:08:49I'm used to dealing in rough pubs
0:08:49 > 0:08:53and giving the hecklers as good as they'll get, you know.
0:08:53 > 0:08:56You're disturbing when I'm working.
0:08:56 > 0:08:58I don't disturb you when you're working, do I?
0:08:58 > 0:09:01I don't come in the alleyway knocking cocks out of your mouth.
0:09:01 > 0:09:04CHEERING AND LAUGHTER
0:09:05 > 0:09:07You know, I've been practising to be clean,
0:09:07 > 0:09:12but you can take the boy out of Wigan, but you can't take Wigan out of the boy...
0:09:18 > 0:09:22It's a brave departure for Lloyd Cross to book a first-time sailor
0:09:22 > 0:09:25whose usual audience likes things salty.
0:09:25 > 0:09:29Normally, his entertainers are a far safer proposition.
0:09:29 > 0:09:31SHIP HORN HONKS
0:09:37 > 0:09:40At a rugby club in South Wales,
0:09:40 > 0:09:42Lloyd is joining fellow cruise bookers
0:09:42 > 0:09:44to assess a showcase of performers
0:09:44 > 0:09:48who've tailored their act to the demands of the cruise scene.
0:09:50 > 0:09:51The pick of tonight's artistes
0:09:51 > 0:09:55will be booked on next year's lucrative sailing circuit.
0:09:56 > 0:09:58The clients that are coming today
0:09:58 > 0:10:00come from four, five-star cruise companies.
0:10:00 > 0:10:04And I invite a hand-picked audience of the same age group
0:10:04 > 0:10:07as the clients' ship people.
0:10:07 > 0:10:10So the comics can do exactly what they do,
0:10:10 > 0:10:13thereby, the clients can see the sort of material they use
0:10:13 > 0:10:15and how it goes down in the room.
0:10:15 > 0:10:18It's a big business, but a small world.
0:10:18 > 0:10:22Cruise Director Richard Sykes is Andy's partner in this agency.
0:10:22 > 0:10:25To open tonight's show, guys,
0:10:25 > 0:10:27the wonderful Mr Thomas Anthony.
0:10:27 > 0:10:30APPLAUSE
0:10:30 > 0:10:32You will know within the first couple of minutes
0:10:32 > 0:10:34whether somebody's going to be right.
0:10:34 > 0:10:38It doesn't take very long to either switch on or switch off from an act.
0:10:43 > 0:10:47'I do comedy and magic mixed together,
0:10:47 > 0:10:50'making it into a visual kind of show.
0:10:50 > 0:10:55'So if you have an international audience, it'll play to anybody.'
0:10:55 > 0:10:58Now, there's no way I can get in front of the bookers on my own.
0:10:58 > 0:11:01It's people that run these showcases
0:11:01 > 0:11:03that basically put you in front of them.
0:11:06 > 0:11:07This can literally fill their diary
0:11:07 > 0:11:10and make it a very lucrative business for them.
0:11:10 > 0:11:13Where they may have had one or two bookings in,
0:11:13 > 0:11:14they now have eight months.
0:11:14 > 0:11:17The one and only Mr Bruce Thompson!
0:11:17 > 0:11:18Are you in the mood for a singsong?
0:11:18 > 0:11:19Audience: Yes!
0:11:19 > 0:11:20OK, off you go!
0:11:20 > 0:11:22LAUGHTER
0:11:22 > 0:11:23MAN HUMS
0:11:23 > 0:11:25Oh, there's always one.
0:11:25 > 0:11:27Comedy is very important within the cruisers.
0:11:27 > 0:11:29People love to laugh on holiday.
0:11:29 > 0:11:32I've done cruises before where I've not had a comic.
0:11:32 > 0:11:35I've had passengers complain cos they haven't seen a comic.
0:11:35 > 0:11:38I'd also like to dedicate this song to my late father, who...
0:11:38 > 0:11:40He was a man of few words, my father.
0:11:40 > 0:11:43I remember one day, he said to me, "Son..."
0:11:43 > 0:11:46LAUGHTER
0:11:46 > 0:11:50Young comics don't really work because of the older clientele.
0:11:50 > 0:11:54They like to see people who are in their age range.
0:11:54 > 0:11:57So I try and get the older comics, if I can.
0:11:57 > 0:11:59Because they've been around the block as well.
0:11:59 > 0:12:01They know what works and what doesn't.
0:12:01 > 0:12:07# And if you say the word, I could stay with you... #
0:12:07 > 0:12:08It's getting as old
0:12:08 > 0:12:09as most of the passengers.
0:12:09 > 0:12:11That's the secret.
0:12:11 > 0:12:14If I, comedy-wise, if I think this would offend me,
0:12:14 > 0:12:16then it would probably offend them, and I wouldn't do it.
0:12:16 > 0:12:19I want somebody to get up here, put all the gear on and do a song.
0:12:19 > 0:12:20I need somebody young.
0:12:20 > 0:12:23LAUGHTER
0:12:25 > 0:12:28Start from here and then you get a good one. There you go.
0:12:28 > 0:12:32LAUGHTER
0:12:32 > 0:12:34Do you realise how good I am now?
0:12:34 > 0:12:36LAUGHTER
0:12:36 > 0:12:38Wouldn't it be funny if you got a cruise and I didn't?
0:12:38 > 0:12:40LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:12:40 > 0:12:43The bookers are always on the lookout for new talent.
0:12:46 > 0:12:51So long as they, like the veterans, know how not to rock the boat.
0:12:51 > 0:12:54I do like to try new comedians
0:12:54 > 0:12:56because, when you've got people coming back
0:12:56 > 0:12:58for several cruises within a year,
0:12:58 > 0:13:01I have to be very careful of not repeating the same comic,
0:13:01 > 0:13:03because then, passengers are going to complain,
0:13:03 > 0:13:05"I've seen this guy before."
0:13:05 > 0:13:09The last Saturday in March, I made love to my wife.
0:13:09 > 0:13:13For one hour and three minutes nonstop.
0:13:14 > 0:13:17It was the night to put the clocks forward.
0:13:17 > 0:13:19LAUGHTER
0:13:19 > 0:13:21'Today, you'll have a situation
0:13:21 > 0:13:24'where a lot of the big cruise ships are trying to encourage
0:13:24 > 0:13:27'more package-type people to come on board.
0:13:27 > 0:13:30'And then, you have the traditional cruise people,
0:13:30 > 0:13:34'who are more used to a more refined way of cruising.'
0:13:34 > 0:13:35So you've got two worlds there.
0:13:35 > 0:13:39And trying to please those two worlds is very, very hard.
0:13:39 > 0:13:42It becomes a big headache for a booker on a cruise company
0:13:42 > 0:13:47to decide how far they want to go without alienating your base.
0:13:47 > 0:13:50And this is where people like us come in
0:13:50 > 0:13:52to try and find people to bridge that gap.
0:14:05 > 0:14:09A golden rule of cruising is - cause no offence.
0:14:09 > 0:14:11Transgressors will end up in this office.
0:14:11 > 0:14:14- Grab a seat.- Thank you very much.
0:14:14 > 0:14:16Well, I just always have a little meeting
0:14:16 > 0:14:19- with any guest act when they come on. - Yeah, yeah.
0:14:19 > 0:14:22I just lay out a few rules and make sure everything is abided to.
0:14:22 > 0:14:23OK, Jimmy.
0:14:23 > 0:14:26So the material that you use,
0:14:26 > 0:14:28- it can't be offensive in any way. - No.- It doesn't mean swearing.
0:14:28 > 0:14:31- I know, I know...- You need to be very careful.
0:14:31 > 0:14:35It's always scary for a comedian who's used to work in blue
0:14:35 > 0:14:39to work in clean, because clean is traditionally a harder medium.
0:14:39 > 0:14:42I mean, there are grades of blue.
0:14:42 > 0:14:46Um... To be honest, I'm not happy with any shades of blue.
0:14:46 > 0:14:49So you've got to be ultra, ultra careful.
0:14:49 > 0:14:51I have learnt, you know,
0:14:51 > 0:14:54I'm taking the next step up of the comedian to work clean.
0:14:54 > 0:14:57- Also, please don't abuse the passengers.- No, I don't do that.
0:14:57 > 0:15:00My act, I don't know if you've seen it, it's very low-energy,
0:15:00 > 0:15:02- It's laid-back.- OK.- It's deadpan.
0:15:02 > 0:15:05So it's 45 minutes. Bang on, please.
0:15:05 > 0:15:07- No problem.- Thanks for that. - Thank you very much.
0:15:07 > 0:15:09- My pleasure.- Thank you. - Welcome to the ship. Enjoy.
0:15:09 > 0:15:11Thank you very much. See you later.
0:15:11 > 0:15:14I'm a little worried. I've got to be honest.
0:15:14 > 0:15:19A club background doesn't always strike well on this kind of ship.
0:15:23 > 0:15:26So while there is lucrative new work at sea
0:15:26 > 0:15:27for comedians like Jimmy,
0:15:27 > 0:15:29they must tread carefully.
0:15:31 > 0:15:33I always use the illustration of a true story
0:15:33 > 0:15:35that happened several years ago on a ship
0:15:35 > 0:15:37with a comic who told the joke,
0:15:37 > 0:15:39"Why did the Mexican pushed his wife off the cliff?"
0:15:39 > 0:15:41And the punch line is, "Tequila."
0:15:41 > 0:15:44And it was just unfortunate that, in that particular cruise,
0:15:44 > 0:15:49there was a group of 50 Mexicans on board, who were offended by it
0:15:49 > 0:15:51and were very vocal about it.
0:15:51 > 0:15:53And it created a mini disaster on board.
0:15:53 > 0:15:55If you say something on board a ship
0:15:55 > 0:15:57that a section of the audience don't like,
0:15:57 > 0:15:58they're going to walk out.
0:15:58 > 0:16:00And you're in trouble.
0:16:00 > 0:16:02Because then, you're in trouble with the cruise director,
0:16:02 > 0:16:04who has the job of balancing
0:16:04 > 0:16:07the passengers on one side and the act, you know.
0:16:07 > 0:16:10And it'll always come down on the side of the passengers.
0:16:10 > 0:16:12- Give me an idea of what you're going to be doing.- I just...
0:16:12 > 0:16:15Barbara Brown is Jimmy's agent,
0:16:15 > 0:16:19here to support Jimmy on his first venture at sea.
0:16:19 > 0:16:21I just had a thought now, basically...
0:16:21 > 0:16:24Could I get away with wearing a life jacket,
0:16:24 > 0:16:26coming out with a life jacket around my neck?
0:16:26 > 0:16:29- That'll be brilliant.- Do you think they'll let me do that?- Yes.
0:16:29 > 0:16:31- I just think...- What would you say?
0:16:31 > 0:16:34I'd just say, "I'm taking no chances."
0:16:34 > 0:16:35SHE LAUGHS
0:16:35 > 0:16:37- Yes!- Do you think I should do something like that?
0:16:37 > 0:16:40- Definitely.- And then, if I can get them laughing before...
0:16:40 > 0:16:42There'll be a lot of people there relating to that.
0:16:42 > 0:16:46- If I can get them laughing there. - Yeah, get them laughing as soon as you walk out.
0:16:46 > 0:16:48Then, I could say, "There's a whistle on...
0:16:48 > 0:16:49"There's a whistle on this.
0:16:49 > 0:16:52"Who's going to come and rescue you, Lassie?"
0:16:52 > 0:16:54Excellent!
0:16:56 > 0:16:59I would always stir comedians away from doing any material
0:16:59 > 0:17:02that's sexist, that's racist, that's religious.
0:17:02 > 0:17:05And that really doesn't need much more for a comedian to do.
0:17:05 > 0:17:08So a comic really has to be creative.
0:17:08 > 0:17:12When you're working with an audience with a mixed age range, you know,
0:17:12 > 0:17:15different people from all over... parts of the world,
0:17:15 > 0:17:19I think it can be quite unnerving sometimes,
0:17:19 > 0:17:21because, obviously, you can't please everybody.
0:17:21 > 0:17:23But you have to try.
0:17:23 > 0:17:25Ladies and gentlemen, Mr Matt Edwards!
0:17:25 > 0:17:26I'm not finished.
0:17:26 > 0:17:28Stay there...
0:17:28 > 0:17:30'The kind of act that I do is very visual, anyway.
0:17:30 > 0:17:34'I pull a lot of stupid faces and it's very, it's almost slapstick,
0:17:34 > 0:17:35'it is a very universal thing.'
0:17:35 > 0:17:38So it doesn't matter if they can't speak English
0:17:38 > 0:17:40or if you're American, if you have a different sense of humour,
0:17:40 > 0:17:43'it doesn't matter who you are, it's universal, it works for everybody.
0:17:43 > 0:17:45'I like to do a bit of magic, a bit of ventriloquism
0:17:45 > 0:17:47'and I like to mess around with all of it.'
0:17:47 > 0:17:48Tequila!
0:17:48 > 0:17:50'It just keeps the audience guessing.'
0:17:50 > 0:17:53At the age of 30, Matt Edwards is a cruising veteran.
0:17:53 > 0:17:5880% of his workload involves wowing audiences in the Med and Caribbean.
0:17:58 > 0:18:00His booking sheet is always full,
0:18:00 > 0:18:02as is his bank account.
0:18:04 > 0:18:06In this little bag here, I've got two hours.
0:18:06 > 0:18:09This is 2:45 minutes in this bag.
0:18:09 > 0:18:12This is Oik, he's been all over the world with me.
0:18:12 > 0:18:13He's a massive part of my show.
0:18:13 > 0:18:14'I love you.'
0:18:14 > 0:18:16Oh, thank you, I love you too.
0:18:16 > 0:18:18'Not you, her!'
0:18:18 > 0:18:19LAUGHTER
0:18:19 > 0:18:22This is another part of my ventriloquist routine.
0:18:22 > 0:18:25It's a mask that you place on somebody and you vent that person.
0:18:25 > 0:18:30Danny, are you...having, are you having a very good night tonight?
0:18:30 > 0:18:35'Yes, I am, thank you. Ha-ha-ha-ha!'
0:18:35 > 0:18:37My act kind of works almost like a tree.
0:18:37 > 0:18:40I will kind of go down this branch and, if they laugh at this thing,
0:18:40 > 0:18:43I know to do this, and if they don't, then, I'll try something else.
0:18:43 > 0:18:46So it's very made up just for them on that night.
0:18:53 > 0:18:55'When I first thought about cruising,
0:18:55 > 0:18:57'I thought that it would be a stepping stone.
0:18:57 > 0:19:00'Until I got onto the cruise ships'
0:19:00 > 0:19:03and then, I realised that it's not a stepping stone at all,
0:19:03 > 0:19:04it's where I want to be.
0:19:04 > 0:19:06Morning!
0:19:12 > 0:19:15They're making a documentary about Weight Watchers.
0:19:17 > 0:19:20I'm their biggest star, you see.
0:19:22 > 0:19:25'It's quite overwhelming.'
0:19:25 > 0:19:28Even you can be walking for a cup of tea or a sausage roll,
0:19:28 > 0:19:30you're on stage, you know.
0:19:30 > 0:19:32Hello, Lloyd, how's your dog?
0:19:32 > 0:19:35You know, you have to be really friendly to everyone
0:19:35 > 0:19:38and sometimes that can be, if you're not in the mood, I suppose,
0:19:38 > 0:19:40it can be precarious, you know.
0:19:44 > 0:19:47You work in the theatre, you arrive, you get ready, you do the show.
0:19:47 > 0:19:50But you finish your show and you go home.
0:19:50 > 0:19:53But on a cruise ship, it's quite the reverse.
0:19:53 > 0:19:56Your audience is with you for the whole of the two weeks of the run.
0:19:56 > 0:20:00A cruise entertainer works 25, 20% of his act on stage
0:20:00 > 0:20:02and the rest of it on deck.
0:20:02 > 0:20:05Or between decks, talking to people, listening to people.
0:20:07 > 0:20:09You're an entertainer all the time,
0:20:09 > 0:20:11it's something like being a redcoat.
0:20:11 > 0:20:13How are you this morning, Dougie?
0:20:13 > 0:20:14Oh...
0:20:14 > 0:20:17Is your kilt in the wash today? Are you not wearing the kilt?
0:20:17 > 0:20:20- You only wear it on special occasions?- I'll wear it tonight maybe.
0:20:20 > 0:20:23I'm spoiled for choice, we don't have such delicacies in Wigan.
0:20:23 > 0:20:26It's like visiting paradise, you know.
0:20:26 > 0:20:29You'll have to watch your waistline.
0:20:29 > 0:20:31I'll give up on that one, you know.
0:20:31 > 0:20:34The secret of comedy on board a cruise ship
0:20:34 > 0:20:37is mixing and mingling with people.
0:20:37 > 0:20:41And getting to know all the ins and outs of their journey.
0:20:41 > 0:20:43I go on trips with them,
0:20:43 > 0:20:45I go ashore and we get on a bus and we go up a mountain somewhere.
0:20:47 > 0:20:51It's important that you know from the off
0:20:51 > 0:20:53exactly what kind of humour would suit these people.
0:20:53 > 0:20:56And the only way you can learn that is to go on and do it.
0:20:59 > 0:21:01- The Isle of Skye?- Yes.
0:21:01 > 0:21:03It this where cable television comes from?
0:21:03 > 0:21:06This is where we're going to have a great day out.
0:21:08 > 0:21:11You tell me what to do...
0:21:11 > 0:21:12Don't tell me that.
0:21:12 > 0:21:14SHE LAUGHS
0:21:14 > 0:21:17Escorting passengers on short visits
0:21:17 > 0:21:19offers a comic the chance to win them over
0:21:19 > 0:21:22long before he steps on stage.
0:21:22 > 0:21:24Get these personal touches right here
0:21:24 > 0:21:26and they'll be on his side.
0:21:26 > 0:21:28But if he makes enemies on dry land,
0:21:28 > 0:21:32his audience could leave him adrift during his act.
0:21:34 > 0:21:36- If we just muster here... - Let's muster here, everybody.
0:21:36 > 0:21:38Just till we get the coaches labelled.
0:21:38 > 0:21:41There's dozens round this area, you know.
0:21:41 > 0:21:44Now, you just make sure everybody's off safely. Come on!
0:21:44 > 0:21:47- Right, everybody.- Come on down! - Come on!
0:21:47 > 0:21:50It really is crucial that you're a good people person,
0:21:50 > 0:21:51you enjoy meeting people
0:21:51 > 0:21:55and that your performance on stage continues off stage as well.
0:21:55 > 0:21:58- You're all right, love? - Just take your time.
0:21:58 > 0:22:00I suppose I should hold yours.
0:22:00 > 0:22:03Any time you want, love, any time.
0:22:03 > 0:22:07'If you can actually put a name to a face with some of the guests
0:22:07 > 0:22:09'before you actually go on and do your show,
0:22:09 > 0:22:11you're not doing it to a cold room.
0:22:11 > 0:22:13You feel these people there that you know.
0:22:13 > 0:22:16You might have gone on a land tour with them or something like that.
0:22:16 > 0:22:19It's so important to actually start to get to know the guests
0:22:19 > 0:22:20right from the start.
0:22:23 > 0:22:26Stepping off into magical ports of call
0:22:26 > 0:22:29has always been one of cruising's big attractions.
0:22:29 > 0:22:31It's a well-established tradition -
0:22:31 > 0:22:35off the ship, soak up the exotic sights
0:22:35 > 0:22:38and then, safely back to the familiar.
0:22:38 > 0:22:39In time for tea.
0:22:55 > 0:22:58On a completely different scale is the Carnival Group,
0:22:58 > 0:23:01the biggest cruise company on the seven seas,
0:23:01 > 0:23:04entertaining almost 4.5 million passengers a year.
0:23:06 > 0:23:11Carnival cruise lines main advertising focus is the word "fun".
0:23:11 > 0:23:14And fun comes in many, many different forms.
0:23:14 > 0:23:17But right at the top of the list to me is laughter.
0:23:17 > 0:23:20Laughter is an international language.
0:23:20 > 0:23:22The Breeze is their brand new flagship,
0:23:22 > 0:23:27just commissioned at a cost of 740 million.
0:23:27 > 0:23:31She's taking a mixed crowd of around 4,000 Americans and Europeans
0:23:31 > 0:23:36on a 12-day Mediterranean round-trip from Barcelona.
0:23:36 > 0:23:38John Heald is the Chief Cruise Director
0:23:38 > 0:23:42for the entire fleet of 24 enormous vessels.
0:23:42 > 0:23:45Each of those ships will have
0:23:45 > 0:23:50between three and eight different comedy shows during that cruise.
0:23:50 > 0:23:52So, right now, on land or at sea,
0:23:52 > 0:23:55we hire more comedians than anyone.
0:23:55 > 0:24:00I have a budget of around 10,000 per cruise
0:24:00 > 0:24:02for the comedians, who we fly in.
0:24:02 > 0:24:05This is a family-friendly show,
0:24:05 > 0:24:07you're not going to hear anything here
0:24:07 > 0:24:09that we think will offend anybody,
0:24:09 > 0:24:11even the Baptists at the back there, they'll be fine.
0:24:11 > 0:24:14Tom Pepper began honing his comedy act
0:24:14 > 0:24:18and topping up his tan at sea more than 40 years ago.
0:24:18 > 0:24:23..a round of applause, the one and only Mr Tom Pepper.
0:24:23 > 0:24:24For the last three decades,
0:24:24 > 0:24:27he's played the international corporate circuit.
0:24:27 > 0:24:30But, as that work has dried up, he's found himself back at sea
0:24:30 > 0:24:31and loving it.
0:24:31 > 0:24:33Great to be back in The Punchliners.
0:24:33 > 0:24:36I've been before, but it's great to be back, you know.
0:24:36 > 0:24:38'I've done 18 cruises this year.'
0:24:38 > 0:24:40Next year, they're looking at 32 cruises for me.
0:24:40 > 0:24:42I'm looking forward to it.
0:24:42 > 0:24:45I mean, when I leave a ship, I get withdrawal symptoms.
0:24:45 > 0:24:46HE LAUGHS
0:24:46 > 0:24:49We've got a place in Liverpool called Toxteth
0:24:49 > 0:24:51that it's known as the roughest they come, you know,
0:24:51 > 0:24:53and the police, it was said on the radio,
0:24:53 > 0:24:57the police have raided a house in Toxteth behind the library,
0:24:57 > 0:25:00only to find 17 Lithuanian prostitutes living there.
0:25:00 > 0:25:03They've seized two kilos of crack cocaine
0:25:03 > 0:25:06and a large amount of undisclosed cash.
0:25:06 > 0:25:09A spokesman for the area said, "We're all in shock."
0:25:09 > 0:25:11He said, "We didn't know we had a library."
0:25:14 > 0:25:19The business of cruise has changed in a big way. It's not so stuffy now.
0:25:19 > 0:25:23You've got families coming on with their prams and their babies.
0:25:23 > 0:25:27Everything's down to earth. You can put your black tie on and go into a top restaurant
0:25:27 > 0:25:29or you can just leave your shorts on and go to deck ten, the lido,
0:25:29 > 0:25:33and that's all buffet. It's so relaxed these days.
0:25:33 > 0:25:36And did you know today was Ladies' Day?
0:25:36 > 0:25:42Did you know that? Come on, lads. Give it up for them. Ladies' Day.
0:25:42 > 0:25:45Look at that. Should have been yesterday but they weren't ready.
0:25:46 > 0:25:48Part of the meat and potatoes of our products
0:25:48 > 0:25:52has always been comedy. What we've done now is branded it.
0:25:54 > 0:25:57And like all good brands, little is left to chance.
0:25:57 > 0:26:00Each comedy venue is as finely constructed
0:26:00 > 0:26:03and market tested as the acts themselves.
0:26:03 > 0:26:05You can change ships,
0:26:05 > 0:26:08but every Punchliner club you visit will look like the last one.
0:26:08 > 0:26:12We went on land and we looked at comedy clubs in the UK and in the US
0:26:12 > 0:26:16and we found the best ones weren't these huge, lavish rooms
0:26:16 > 0:26:18with incredible architecture.
0:26:18 > 0:26:19It was chairs close together.
0:26:19 > 0:26:22It was a stage where, literally, you could reach out
0:26:22 > 0:26:24and touch the comedian.
0:26:26 > 0:26:27They say there's a recession.
0:26:27 > 0:26:31These ships are full and building more.
0:26:31 > 0:26:33And every one they build gets full.
0:26:33 > 0:26:35So it seems to me it's going to be the way to go.
0:26:42 > 0:26:44It's the morning of the big gig
0:26:44 > 0:26:48and Jimmy is still refining his material for his new audience.
0:26:48 > 0:26:52- Good morning, sir. You all right? - You ready for it?- I'm raring to go.
0:26:52 > 0:26:55I want to ask you something as a mark of respect.
0:26:55 > 0:26:58I have a gag, basically, wherever I go and it's food.
0:26:58 > 0:27:02"Can you get yourself down to blah blah restaurant tomorrow?
0:27:02 > 0:27:05"There's a special event happening. The chef's washing his hands."
0:27:05 > 0:27:08It's just an innocuous gag but I wondered
0:27:08 > 0:27:13- if you disapprove of me using that line?- It's a bit derogatory.
0:27:13 > 0:27:17- Do you not dig it, no?- If you have a look at rewording it maybe but...
0:27:17 > 0:27:20- I would not use it. - Sometimes you can sanitise it
0:27:20 > 0:27:24- and it's not a joke any more. - Sanitise is the word!
0:27:24 > 0:27:27- Hey, he's better than me, isn't he? - We've got to be careful.
0:27:27 > 0:27:29Yeah, no problem. I just thought I'd ask you anyway.
0:27:29 > 0:27:33When a guest artist comes on, my goal isn't to teach them
0:27:33 > 0:27:36how to do their job. That absolutely is not what I'm doing.
0:27:36 > 0:27:41My goal is just to make sure that they follow absolute guidelines.
0:27:41 > 0:27:45- So, shall we do this?- Absolutely. - Sound check time.
0:27:45 > 0:27:50- Where can I go to without it feeding back?- Feedback's fine.
0:27:50 > 0:27:54- There's no feedback so I can just walk all around and stuff?- Yep.
0:27:54 > 0:27:58It's pretty straightforward. I'm not doing songs or anything so...
0:27:58 > 0:28:00- Welcome on stage, Jimmy...- Jimmy O.
0:28:02 > 0:28:06- Can I just come out like that? - That's fine.- A bit like confused.
0:28:06 > 0:28:10The build up for me is looking confused. Like, what am I doing here?
0:28:10 > 0:28:14- OK.- That kind of thing, you know? - Right.- Honestly, it's funnier when I do it.
0:28:14 > 0:28:16HE LAUGHS
0:28:16 > 0:28:19You'll be laughing tonight. When I do it tonight,
0:28:19 > 0:28:22your glasses will be falling off your head, it's that funny. But no, it's not funny.
0:28:22 > 0:28:25It's cos I've not got my cap on, you see. That's the secret to comedy.
0:28:25 > 0:28:29On the cruise ships, they feel that the entertainment is
0:28:29 > 0:28:31part of what they paid for.
0:28:31 > 0:28:35So they don't treat you with the same kind of respect.
0:28:35 > 0:28:38So people will often get up in the middle of your act and walk off.
0:28:38 > 0:28:42I've seen entertainers who have actually challenged
0:28:42 > 0:28:44certain audience members and gone, "Excuse me, love.
0:28:44 > 0:28:47"Where are you going?" And they'll go, "Well, we're not enjoying
0:28:47 > 0:28:50"the show, dear. It's not funny." And they'll leave.
0:28:50 > 0:28:52Often they've had a long day, been out in the sun,
0:28:52 > 0:28:55been on an excursion, they've eaten, they sit down there,
0:28:55 > 0:28:58they've got the front seats and then they nod off.
0:28:58 > 0:29:03So sometimes you can walk on and see most of the front row half asleep.
0:29:03 > 0:29:06So it's very disconcerting.
0:29:06 > 0:29:08I came off going, "Oh, God, that was bad."
0:29:08 > 0:29:11And the cruise director went, "No, that was really good for here."
0:29:11 > 0:29:15That's it right there, baby. Coming on. You're coming on.
0:29:15 > 0:29:17You're coming on.
0:29:17 > 0:29:20That's it. Come on, yeah. We're going to work, baby.
0:29:20 > 0:29:25We're going to work, baby. Everybody get up...
0:29:25 > 0:29:28On board the Breeze, their second comedian, Percy Crews,
0:29:28 > 0:29:31is finalising arrangements for his evening show.
0:29:31 > 0:29:34There might be some older people in here and they don't like loud music.
0:29:34 > 0:29:37But, oh, well, they're going to have go with it. Do you know what I'm saying?
0:29:37 > 0:29:41So we're going to play it a little loud cos I like people to talk loud, get their energy up...
0:29:41 > 0:29:45- Bam. And then we go to work.- Nice. - I'm bringing them energy and I want them to have some energy
0:29:45 > 0:29:48- when I get up there. Give me a hard cut. Don't fade it out.- Hard cut?
0:29:48 > 0:29:52- Man, we're going to work, baby. We're good.- OK. Consider it done, man.
0:29:52 > 0:29:56I appreciate it. You're the man, bro. I'm just the man standing next to the man. That's all.
0:29:56 > 0:29:59We have to do five shows out here.
0:29:59 > 0:30:02All of my sets are different because the people come back
0:30:02 > 0:30:05to see the comedians and you can't do the same things.
0:30:05 > 0:30:08'If you're a singer, you can sing the same set every night.
0:30:08 > 0:30:11'But comedy, they don't want to hear the same jokes. They've heard them.'
0:30:11 > 0:30:13Percy Crews II!
0:30:17 > 0:30:20Back home in the States, Percy has opened for Chris Rock
0:30:20 > 0:30:24and Jamie Foxx. But he chooses to be a star of the sea,
0:30:24 > 0:30:27spending his year jetting from one liner to the next.
0:30:27 > 0:30:29# We've got shows for you. #
0:30:29 > 0:30:34What's up? How are you all doing? Are you all right? Are you all all right?
0:30:34 > 0:30:35- ALL:- Yeah!
0:30:35 > 0:30:37What's up with the men and their pants, huh?
0:30:37 > 0:30:40Seems like the younger they are, the lower your pants get. Pull your pants up.
0:30:40 > 0:30:43I'm really tired of seeing your stinky drawers.
0:30:43 > 0:30:45Pull your pants up, man.
0:30:48 > 0:30:51I've seen a 16-year-old reach in his back pocket, right behind his knee.
0:30:51 > 0:30:53You know what I'm saying?
0:30:53 > 0:30:55'I'm on cruise ships 98% of the time
0:30:55 > 0:31:00because I might do one club a year, you know what I mean?
0:31:00 > 0:31:05The clubs just don't pay what the ships pay. I've got a family to feed.
0:31:05 > 0:31:08This is what I do. This is how I put food on the table
0:31:08 > 0:31:11and pay all of my bills. I'm living pretty good, man.
0:31:11 > 0:31:14I'm doing pretty well, especially during a down economy.
0:31:14 > 0:31:16I'm middle class.
0:31:16 > 0:31:18Kids are so soft nowadays, they've got to wear helmets
0:31:18 > 0:31:22and elbowpads and kneepads just to ride a damn bike.
0:31:23 > 0:31:26We would ride butt naked.
0:31:27 > 0:31:29'I'm back and forth all the time.'
0:31:29 > 0:31:33It's difficult. It's difficult and that's one of the down parts
0:31:33 > 0:31:38'about this job as a comedian is that I'm away from my family
0:31:38 > 0:31:42'and miss playing basketball with my son, my daughter.
0:31:42 > 0:31:45'She's a basketball player also. Spending time with my wife.
0:31:45 > 0:31:47'But this is what I do.'
0:31:48 > 0:31:51I've worked in ships a lot, man. I've been up on lido deck a lot.
0:31:51 > 0:31:53I've seen a lot of stuff up on lido deck. You know what I'm saying?
0:31:53 > 0:31:57All I'm saying is dress your damn body size. That's all I'm saying.
0:31:57 > 0:32:02I've been out here doing Carnival for 15 years so I have a lot of friends
0:32:02 > 0:32:04'that's out here. We go eating together,
0:32:04 > 0:32:06'we're getting off the ship, going to be port,
0:32:06 > 0:32:09stuff like that, man. Hanging out. We're having a ball.
0:32:09 > 0:32:13I really kind of hate to say that on camera cos my wife will see this, she'll be like...
0:32:13 > 0:32:15Cos I tell her, "Baby, it ain't the same. I'm working."
0:32:15 > 0:32:17But I'm really having a lot of fun.
0:32:22 > 0:32:26On board the Ocean Countess, Jimmy is moments from finally
0:32:26 > 0:32:30stepping onstage for his first show at eight o'clock,
0:32:30 > 0:32:32with his second set two hours later.
0:32:41 > 0:32:45I mean, I'm not going out there tonight to have a bad gig.
0:32:45 > 0:32:49I've rehearsed more than probably any other gig I've done.
0:32:49 > 0:32:51So I'm going out to conquer,
0:32:51 > 0:32:54if that doesn't sound corny.
0:32:54 > 0:32:57But it is live performance.
0:32:57 > 0:33:00You can't really forecast what's going to happen, you know.
0:33:00 > 0:33:03- You all right?- I'm fine. - He's my hero.
0:33:03 > 0:33:06- He's going to do great, isn't he?- Showbiz.
0:33:06 > 0:33:09- You've got a massive audience out there.- Have I?- Mmm.
0:33:09 > 0:33:12You've got lots of supporters as well who've all been saying,
0:33:12 > 0:33:17- "Tell Jimmy good luck."- Really? - Yeah. They've all been saying that. - That's nice.- Really nice.
0:33:17 > 0:33:18I just want to get on with it.
0:33:18 > 0:33:21I've been chomping at the bit all day, you know?
0:33:21 > 0:33:24Once you've done this one, you'll be full of confidence for the next one.
0:33:24 > 0:33:28The Ocean Countess and his officers and department heads...
0:33:28 > 0:33:33And Jimmy's been given a prestigious night for his debut...
0:33:33 > 0:33:36none other than the captain's formal reception.
0:33:43 > 0:33:45Good evening, everybody.
0:33:45 > 0:33:46- AUDIENCE:- Good evening.
0:33:46 > 0:33:50How was your day today? Did you enjoy it?
0:33:50 > 0:33:52- AUDIENCE:- Yes.- Very good.
0:33:52 > 0:33:57Traditionally, cruises will honour their guests with an official formal night.
0:33:57 > 0:34:00In smart tuxedos and long frocks, they're brought together
0:34:00 > 0:34:03for cocktails with the captain and his senior officers.
0:34:07 > 0:34:09It's a throwback to the early days of cruising.
0:34:09 > 0:34:13But it's still embraced by many lines and their passengers.
0:34:13 > 0:34:14Enjoy your cruise.
0:34:14 > 0:34:18Formal night is a very strange night for a comedian.
0:34:18 > 0:34:20Personally, I dread it.
0:34:20 > 0:34:24People are dressed in dinner suits. People who never wear a dinner suit.
0:34:24 > 0:34:26And they're all trussed up and they're sitting there...
0:34:26 > 0:34:30As soon as that bow tie goes on, everybody becomes somebody else.
0:34:30 > 0:34:32Everybody thinks they're almost James Bond.
0:34:32 > 0:34:35Because on a cruise ship, you don't know anybody.
0:34:35 > 0:34:38You're there with your wife. She's in a beautiful ball gown. You're in your tuxedo.
0:34:38 > 0:34:42All of a sudden, you're somebody. And so you become a bit more reserved.
0:34:42 > 0:34:46OK, Jimmy. We've got five minutes. I'm going to do the first bit
0:34:46 > 0:34:50which is my song. So straight after that, it's straight onto you.
0:34:50 > 0:34:54- Thank you, Richard.- Pleasure.- Have a good song.- Yeah, I will. Don't worry.
0:34:54 > 0:34:56- I'll do my best for you.- OK.
0:34:56 > 0:34:58'With an audience, you have to engage them.
0:34:58 > 0:35:01'This is the whole art of show business.
0:35:01 > 0:35:03'Walking out, making a rapport'
0:35:03 > 0:35:07The first two or three minutes in any performance you do
0:35:07 > 0:35:10are the most important two or three minutes of your act.
0:35:10 > 0:35:12# On a Saturday night... #
0:35:12 > 0:35:17You have to go out, make contact and make the audience feel relaxed
0:35:17 > 0:35:20with your personality so that they'll enjoy
0:35:20 > 0:35:22what you're going to do.
0:35:22 > 0:35:24Welcome to the show. Cheers.
0:35:27 > 0:35:29Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
0:35:29 > 0:35:32Welcome to a very special evening on board the Ocean Countess.
0:35:32 > 0:35:35It's now time to welcome out the comedy, the man,
0:35:35 > 0:35:39the myth, the legend of mirth, Mr Jimmy O!
0:35:39 > 0:35:42APPLAUSE
0:35:42 > 0:35:45# Raindrops keep falling on my head
0:35:47 > 0:35:50# Just like the guy whose feet
0:35:50 > 0:35:53# Are too big for his bed
0:35:53 > 0:35:55# Nothing seems to fit
0:35:55 > 0:35:57# Those raindrops are falling
0:35:57 > 0:35:59# On my head
0:35:59 > 0:36:00# They keep falling. #
0:36:02 > 0:36:03Thanks.
0:36:05 > 0:36:07I'm the warm-up act.
0:36:09 > 0:36:11That was my best joke.
0:36:17 > 0:36:19I've brought my ball.
0:36:19 > 0:36:22I hope you don't mind.
0:36:23 > 0:36:24I take it everywhere.
0:36:26 > 0:36:28Means the world to me.
0:36:30 > 0:36:32That was my second best joke.
0:36:32 > 0:36:34AUDIENCE TITTERS
0:36:36 > 0:36:39I'm not taking any chances.
0:36:39 > 0:36:41I don't want to drown in waves of laughter.
0:36:44 > 0:36:46I made that up.
0:36:48 > 0:36:50I think I'll be all right though.
0:36:53 > 0:36:55Ladies and gentlemen,
0:36:55 > 0:36:57this is my first cruise.
0:36:59 > 0:37:01Got quite upset yesterday.
0:37:01 > 0:37:04I was on top deck crying.
0:37:05 > 0:37:07The captain came up to me.
0:37:07 > 0:37:09He said, "What's the matter with you?"
0:37:11 > 0:37:14I said, "I feel a bit sad.
0:37:14 > 0:37:17"And I'm homesick."
0:37:17 > 0:37:19He said, "Don't worry.
0:37:19 > 0:37:21"We're all in the same boat."
0:37:23 > 0:37:25I don't get that one.
0:37:28 > 0:37:32I was staring out to see and I saw an arm come out of the water.
0:37:34 > 0:37:37And I thought, what a lovely wave.
0:37:40 > 0:37:43Don't worry. I won't go overboard.
0:37:47 > 0:37:51Ladies and gentlemen, I'm quite depressed at the minute.
0:37:51 > 0:37:53- AUDIENCE:- Awwwww.
0:37:53 > 0:37:56I'm that depressed...
0:37:56 > 0:37:59even my blood group's negative.
0:38:01 > 0:38:05In order to grab that audience, you cannot have that sort of delivery
0:38:05 > 0:38:08where it's, basically, a passive delivery.
0:38:08 > 0:38:11You either come out singing or you come out shouting
0:38:11 > 0:38:12or you come out with a woofer.
0:38:12 > 0:38:15This used to be my work jacket.
0:38:15 > 0:38:17Now it's my signing-on coat.
0:38:18 > 0:38:22I've got to protect the product so I can't let him go on for the second show.
0:38:22 > 0:38:24It could be too damaging for Cruise Maritime Voyages.
0:38:24 > 0:38:26The house is boarded up.
0:38:26 > 0:38:29The window cleaner's got a sander.
0:38:29 > 0:38:31I've got the show team on standby. I'm going to do
0:38:31 > 0:38:34a Tannoy announcement and just say that due to technical problem
0:38:34 > 0:38:37or something like that Jimmy will not be able to perform.
0:38:37 > 0:38:39We live in a semi.
0:38:39 > 0:38:40It's semi-condemned.
0:38:40 > 0:38:45'Horrific. I can't let him go on again with an act like that.'
0:38:45 > 0:38:49I was walking down the street today.
0:38:49 > 0:38:51Saw a sign on the lamppost.
0:38:51 > 0:38:54It said, "Have you seen this missing cat?"
0:38:54 > 0:38:57So I rang the number.
0:38:58 > 0:39:00I said, "No, I haven't."
0:39:00 > 0:39:02LAUGHTER
0:39:05 > 0:39:08This woman on the other end of the phone
0:39:08 > 0:39:10started screaming and shouting at me.
0:39:12 > 0:39:15I said, "If you speak to everyone like that, love,
0:39:15 > 0:39:19"it's no wonder your cat buggered off."
0:39:19 > 0:39:21Ladies and gentlemen, I've been Jimmy O.
0:39:21 > 0:39:24Thank you very much and enjoy your evening.
0:39:24 > 0:39:27Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for Jimmy O.
0:39:29 > 0:39:32Come on, folks. A very great man. It's Jimmy O!
0:39:32 > 0:39:34APPLAUSE
0:39:34 > 0:39:38'You can never say that he was funny tonight.'
0:39:38 > 0:39:41He also didn't fulfil the contract. He's done for 45 minutes.
0:39:41 > 0:39:43He barely did 25.
0:39:43 > 0:39:47So, really, genuinely, it's half a show on a very important night.
0:39:47 > 0:39:50It's formal night. We've just had the captain's reception
0:39:50 > 0:39:52and this is a huge letdown.
0:39:52 > 0:39:55He did 25 minutes. For a comic...
0:39:55 > 0:39:58I can't believe he just did 25.
0:39:58 > 0:40:02Behind the locked dressing room door, Jimmy's getting the news
0:40:02 > 0:40:05that his ten o'clock performance will not be required.
0:40:05 > 0:40:08He said, I don't want you on again.
0:40:08 > 0:40:11Everyone's been coming out and saying, "That was brilliant. Well done."
0:40:11 > 0:40:14So I don't think it's a problem with the audience.
0:40:14 > 0:40:18For some reason, the character, the gags didn't connect that much.
0:40:18 > 0:40:22Some did and then it was kind of like, "Yeah, no. Yeah, no."
0:40:22 > 0:40:26And they weren't sure. I tried my best. I kept going.
0:40:26 > 0:40:29I kept at them and...
0:40:29 > 0:40:31That's it. He wasn't happy so...
0:40:31 > 0:40:35- Richard's here. Hello, Richard. Sorry.- Richard...- Sorry again.
0:40:35 > 0:40:39- It didn't cut the mustard.- If it just didn't work, it didn't work.
0:40:39 > 0:40:41I didn't see... I saw four people leave that room.
0:40:41 > 0:40:4420 walked past me and I've had comments which I'm not going
0:40:44 > 0:40:47- to share in front of Jimmy. - It's fine. I can take it on the chin.
0:40:47 > 0:40:51- You may as well, while you're on camera.- Go on. No, I'm not going to do it. Not on camera.
0:40:53 > 0:40:56But I have to... I'm sorry.
0:40:56 > 0:40:58- That's showbiz, Richard. - Unfortunately so.
0:40:58 > 0:41:01No hard feelings, anyway. I'm sorry...
0:41:01 > 0:41:04- I'm sorry it didn't cut the mustard for you.- You didn't cut it on here.
0:41:04 > 0:41:08- Doesn't mean everywhere else you can't.- I know.- It's a very different crowd. Don't worry.
0:41:08 > 0:41:11You'll to have to let the ten o'clock passengers know he's not on.
0:41:11 > 0:41:14- I know. I've already done it over the Tannoy.- Have you?- Yeah.- OK.
0:41:14 > 0:41:16- Anyway...- Sorry about that, Richard.
0:41:17 > 0:41:21- You're not knocking me off at the next port, are you?- No, no.
0:41:21 > 0:41:23Throw a dinghy at the side of the thing or else I'll swim back.
0:41:23 > 0:41:27- No, we'd never kick you off.- Thank you very much.- You're still welcome.
0:41:27 > 0:41:29- I still think your suit looks nice, by the way.- Thank you.
0:41:29 > 0:41:33My opinion's not changed. I'm a professional. These things happen.
0:41:36 > 0:41:40I was interested in getting involved in the cruise world. But perhaps
0:41:40 > 0:41:44the cruise world was not interested in getting involved with me, you know?
0:41:46 > 0:41:50- Hello. How are you? - Well done. Well done.- Well done.
0:41:50 > 0:41:54- That was good.- Did you like that? - Yes!- We liked it.
0:41:54 > 0:42:00Can I tell you something? Richard the cruise director wasn't a happy bunny.
0:42:00 > 0:42:04- Everybody was chuckling away.- I was due to have another slot at 10.15
0:42:04 > 0:42:07but I'm not now so... Do you fancy a game of football?
0:42:07 > 0:42:09SHE LAUGHS
0:42:09 > 0:42:13- Come on. We'll go and lose a couple of quid. - Are you going in goals, Jean?
0:42:13 > 0:42:18Come on. Who needs comedy? I'm going to be a football star. Come on.
0:42:18 > 0:42:20You an throw my scarf down for a goal.
0:42:20 > 0:42:22JIMMY SINGS
0:42:32 > 0:42:34At ten o'clock, Jimmy's place on stage is taken by
0:42:34 > 0:42:36the tried-and-tested show team.
0:42:44 > 0:42:45Sometimes it just don't work.
0:42:45 > 0:42:49Some people you're going to get. Some people you're not.
0:42:49 > 0:42:51Bill Cosby, great comedian.
0:42:51 > 0:42:54You know what I mean? A legend in this business.
0:42:54 > 0:42:57He said, "I don't know the key to success.
0:42:57 > 0:43:01"But the key to failure is trying to please everybody."
0:43:01 > 0:43:03It just ain't going to happen.
0:43:07 > 0:43:11Pleasing everybody is easier if you don't try to please them all
0:43:11 > 0:43:13with the same thing.
0:43:13 > 0:43:16With 4,000 passengers, you can afford to offer
0:43:16 > 0:43:20many competing entertainment choices simultaneously.
0:43:20 > 0:43:24And on-board the Breeze, this strategy means offering
0:43:24 > 0:43:26urban late-night comedy
0:43:26 > 0:43:30to those adults with a taste for spicier fair.
0:43:30 > 0:43:33Sit down. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome.
0:43:33 > 0:43:36I want to go through some of the things you'll be doing tonight.
0:43:36 > 0:43:40You have two shows and then the later shows we take the leash.
0:43:40 > 0:43:44You're uncensored. You can say anything you want.
0:43:44 > 0:43:48Work the room and if you feel you want to go all out, you go all out.
0:43:48 > 0:43:51We make it very clear verbally before the show
0:43:51 > 0:43:55that if you're offended by anything, then please, respectfully,
0:43:55 > 0:43:58we would ask you to leave. It covers you, it covers me,
0:43:58 > 0:44:01- but most importantly, it covers the guest.- OK. Cheers, John.
0:44:01 > 0:44:02Thanks, guys.
0:44:03 > 0:44:09You must be 18 years of age and, or, not easily offended.
0:44:09 > 0:44:12If you're offended by anything, this probably won't be your cup of tea.
0:44:12 > 0:44:15you can go to the casino or you can go play shuffleboard or some shit.
0:44:15 > 0:44:16All right.
0:44:16 > 0:44:20It's not the same as cruising on a British cruise line
0:44:20 > 0:44:22with lots of other British guests.
0:44:22 > 0:44:28It's an American product and they love the brashness of what we do.
0:44:28 > 0:44:33After two or three days, the Brits start to watch the Americans
0:44:33 > 0:44:35and they change. The British people change.
0:44:37 > 0:44:40They laugh out loud. They kick off their shoes.
0:44:40 > 0:44:42They go to the comedy club and they hear something that may be
0:44:42 > 0:44:46a little bit cross the line and they watch the Americans
0:44:46 > 0:44:49and they think, "It's OK to laugh. Let's laugh with them."
0:44:50 > 0:44:53The postman's got the one letter for this cottage out on its own.
0:44:53 > 0:44:57And he's posted it into the letterbox.
0:44:57 > 0:45:01And as he turned around, this Rottweiler just jumped up... Doof.
0:45:01 > 0:45:03And pinned him to the door.
0:45:03 > 0:45:06And the little side window opened and the little lady said,
0:45:06 > 0:45:10"Kick his balls. Kick the balls. He loves it."
0:45:10 > 0:45:13And the postman went, "Fuck off."
0:45:13 > 0:45:15And the dog went...
0:45:15 > 0:45:17HE GROANS
0:45:17 > 0:45:21And the lady said, "Oh, dear. You're in trouble now."
0:45:21 > 0:45:23She said, "I meant the balls on the lawn."
0:45:25 > 0:45:28'Doing blue material at sea is a new concept to me.'
0:45:28 > 0:45:33And on this particular ship, it's going down an absolute storm.
0:45:37 > 0:45:38'I'll feel my way in.'
0:45:38 > 0:45:40I'll do a few easy ones.
0:45:40 > 0:45:44Then I'll try one a bit stronger and if they roar laughing, you think,
0:45:44 > 0:45:47yeah, keep at that level. Then another couple of minutes of that
0:45:47 > 0:45:49and throw a stronger one again in.
0:45:49 > 0:45:51He's digging a hole in the garden
0:45:51 > 0:45:54and the neighbour put her head over and she's dead posh.
0:45:54 > 0:45:57She said, "George, what are you doing?"
0:45:57 > 0:46:00He said, "I'm digging this hole to bury my budgie."
0:46:00 > 0:46:02"Oh", she said, "It's a very large hole."
0:46:02 > 0:46:04He said, "It's still in your fucking cat."
0:46:07 > 0:46:09I've talked to some comedians who work on land only.
0:46:09 > 0:46:14They go, "I can't do cruise ships because they're too confined."
0:46:14 > 0:46:17And I tell them, "Well, when you're doing a family show,
0:46:17 > 0:46:21"it's like doing TV. But as for the adult shows,
0:46:21 > 0:46:23"you can do whatever you do in the clubs."
0:46:23 > 0:46:27Ladies, you wear wigs. Wigs. You dye your hair. Put all the make-up on.
0:46:27 > 0:46:30Fake fingernails. Fake eye contact lenses.
0:46:30 > 0:46:33Fellas, you don't know what the hell you're getting nowadays. You don't.
0:46:33 > 0:46:36You get your woman back. She starts taking hair off.
0:46:36 > 0:46:38Take her titties off, put them on the chest of drawers.
0:46:38 > 0:46:41You don't know whether to do her or do the damn chest of drawers.
0:46:44 > 0:46:48Something this blue is a million nautical miles
0:46:48 > 0:46:50from cruising's traditional image.
0:46:50 > 0:46:54If it ever was a preserve of the newlywed and nearly dead,
0:46:54 > 0:46:57it's not any more.
0:46:57 > 0:47:00Now it's a holiday being enthusiastically sold to anyone
0:47:00 > 0:47:03attracted by an all-inclusive value-for-money proposition.
0:47:05 > 0:47:09Last year, more than 1.7 million British people took a cruise
0:47:09 > 0:47:14and the economy benefited to the tune of £2.4 billion.
0:47:15 > 0:47:18Cruising makes more money than the entire British
0:47:18 > 0:47:20bed-and-breakfast industry.
0:47:20 > 0:47:24And the bad news for B&Bs is, cruising wants to get even bigger.
0:47:27 > 0:47:30In a smart business hotel in Birmingham,
0:47:30 > 0:47:32350 delegates are gathering.
0:47:32 > 0:47:36Today, 40% of passengers are new to cruise
0:47:36 > 0:47:38and the majority will then cruise again.
0:47:41 > 0:47:44These cruise lines and travel agents need to be bang up-to-date
0:47:44 > 0:47:47if they're to keep luring holiday-makers offshore
0:47:47 > 0:47:50- and keep them satisfied year after year.- Good morning, everyone.
0:47:50 > 0:47:54Welcome to Birmingham and to the full-day of networking
0:47:54 > 0:47:57and conference sessions focusing on the key issues
0:47:57 > 0:47:59facing the cruise sector.
0:47:59 > 0:48:04Worldwide last year, cruise ships carried over 20 million passengers
0:48:04 > 0:48:08for the first time. That's big business.
0:48:08 > 0:48:13Challenging the past, land-based package tour groups have found their sea legs.
0:48:13 > 0:48:18People like Thompsons, First Choice and Airtours have changed the face of cruising
0:48:18 > 0:48:21with a new mass-market approach, leaving conventions behind.
0:48:21 > 0:48:24People are changing. I think we need to reflect that
0:48:24 > 0:48:26and think about that as we develop our products
0:48:26 > 0:48:30because it's not just the same traditional cruise.
0:48:30 > 0:48:33It really is people who are looking for something different.
0:48:33 > 0:48:36And as the holidays change and the passengers change,
0:48:36 > 0:48:39the leisure package has had to change too.
0:48:39 > 0:48:42The entertainment now on cruise ships is incredibly slick.
0:48:42 > 0:48:44It used to be, 20 years ago,
0:48:44 > 0:48:47you'd get a sort of end-of-the-pier type show.
0:48:47 > 0:48:51"You think my wife's fat, you should see my mother-in-law."
0:48:51 > 0:48:53There was that sort of style of humour.
0:48:53 > 0:48:56But now as the standards have changed on television,
0:48:56 > 0:48:58so people want something a bit more slick
0:48:58 > 0:49:02and a bit more alternative, perhaps, but not that alternative.
0:49:05 > 0:49:07Comedy is very important to what we do.
0:49:07 > 0:49:10There's much more knowledge of comedy
0:49:10 > 0:49:13and desire to experience comedy in these years
0:49:13 > 0:49:16than there was 20 or 30 years ago.
0:49:16 > 0:49:20We tried removing it a few years ago because we thought that
0:49:20 > 0:49:25the audiences were maybe tiring of comedy as part of the cruise.
0:49:25 > 0:49:29The actual feedback was so strong we immediately put comedians
0:49:29 > 0:49:32back on and they've stayed with us ever since.
0:49:32 > 0:49:35Cruise is changing, the consumer is changing, people are looking
0:49:35 > 0:49:39for a different kind of holiday then maybe they were 20 or 30 years ago.
0:49:48 > 0:49:49All right!
0:49:51 > 0:49:55Scared yet? This really is a cruise.
0:49:55 > 0:49:59Over the past five years, American superliners have embraced
0:49:59 > 0:50:05a radically different audience, who go to sea to see rock fan cruises.
0:50:05 > 0:50:07Music promoters charter an entire ship,
0:50:07 > 0:50:11then artists like Kiss or Weezer are booked with like-minded
0:50:11 > 0:50:16support acts to entertain discerning fans over a week of cruising.
0:50:18 > 0:50:22Not only can you overdose on music, you're living right next
0:50:22 > 0:50:26to your heroes, offering the chance to bump into them in the night.
0:50:29 > 0:50:32Rock 'n' roll cruisers have suddenly taken off.
0:50:33 > 0:50:35They are huge, there are massive.
0:50:37 > 0:50:41Lynyrd Skynyrd, Motley Crue, Kid Rock, the moment these things
0:50:41 > 0:50:44go on sale, two or three days later they are gone.
0:50:44 > 0:50:47The reason they're so popular is afterwards you are interacting
0:50:47 > 0:50:50with them, eating dinner in the same restaurant.
0:50:50 > 0:50:55Autograph sessions, a chance to actually meet these people.
0:50:55 > 0:50:56They are very popular.
0:51:01 > 0:51:03We are in Newcastle, and somebody is on a mission.
0:51:03 > 0:51:09Keren McKean helps organise the T in the Park music festival, and managed Snow Patrol.
0:51:09 > 0:51:13Last year, she was a curious guest on one of these fan cruisers.
0:51:13 > 0:51:16I went on one of the ones in America, and honestly, they are crazy.
0:51:16 > 0:51:20You cannot get your head round it. It is like a playground for adults.
0:51:20 > 0:51:232,500, 3,000 people who are all like-minded,
0:51:23 > 0:51:24all loving the same music.
0:51:24 > 0:51:26It is just chaos, it is brilliant.
0:51:28 > 0:51:30Keren will be taking the idea up a notch,
0:51:30 > 0:51:34promoting her own festival of music and comedy from the decks
0:51:34 > 0:51:37of a cruise ship in the Mediterranean for Brits.
0:51:37 > 0:51:40The ship is still a ship, if you just take the 80-year-olds off
0:51:40 > 0:51:43and put on a load of 30-year-olds, it changes everything.
0:51:43 > 0:51:47The offshore festival is all about recreating the festival
0:51:47 > 0:51:49you would normally have at land at sea.
0:51:49 > 0:51:5318 bands, 15 comedians, 15 DJs, all in one week.
0:51:53 > 0:51:55It is the holiday of a lifetime.
0:51:55 > 0:51:59Keren is looking for comedians that will fit the rock 'n' roll mix.
0:51:59 > 0:52:03She has come down from Glasgow to check out a new comedian,
0:52:03 > 0:52:04Jeff Leach.
0:52:04 > 0:52:07He is a bit rock 'n' roll, that's what we like about him, he has
0:52:07 > 0:52:12a different attitude, and we want him to do a couple of shows on the ship.
0:52:12 > 0:52:18Keren is targeting a client base that is more Madonna than Madhvani.
0:52:18 > 0:52:20Maybe I could go up and down your pole.
0:52:22 > 0:52:26Christopher, you're very beautiful. Is this your boyfriend?
0:52:26 > 0:52:28Tell me more.
0:52:28 > 0:52:30He is enjoying this, I can feel it.
0:52:35 > 0:52:38You smell like terror and broken dreams.
0:52:41 > 0:52:42That just happened.
0:52:44 > 0:52:46It is easier when you speak to people face to face,
0:52:46 > 0:52:49cos when you tell them you want to put them on a cruise ship,
0:52:49 > 0:52:52- they all just go, really? - Look at him, strange, isn't he?
0:52:52 > 0:52:54The bottom half of a fat Mick Jagger,
0:52:54 > 0:52:55top half of a skinny Danny Dyer.
0:52:55 > 0:52:56I don't like it.
0:52:58 > 0:53:00Overall look of a Gothic Tintin.
0:53:01 > 0:53:08Just last week I said to my cook... You know I'm joking, ladies.
0:53:08 > 0:53:11I don't talk to the hired help.
0:53:11 > 0:53:13That would be dirty.
0:53:13 > 0:53:14I'm glad you enjoyed the set.
0:53:14 > 0:53:18It is a bit risky, like, "are you going to do that? Yes, you are. Carry on."
0:53:18 > 0:53:21I think that'll fit well with everything we have on the ship.
0:53:21 > 0:53:23If you're pushing the boundary in terms of what people
0:53:23 > 0:53:25expect of a festival, and a cruise,
0:53:25 > 0:53:28you might as well push with the expectations of comedy as well.
0:53:31 > 0:53:36A comedy festival at sea makes a lot of sense, but they do cost
0:53:36 > 0:53:41a lot more than sitting in a tent in a field for a few days.
0:53:43 > 0:53:46I think there are people in their 40s who were maybe doing
0:53:46 > 0:53:49that in their 20s and say, "Let's go on a cruise. We will be in
0:53:49 > 0:53:52"comfort, we can hear some bands and have a laugh at the same time."
0:53:52 > 0:53:54What is not to like about that?
0:53:56 > 0:54:00I don't see any reason why the UK market would not be
0:54:00 > 0:54:04just as receptive to these types of ideas going forward as the US
0:54:04 > 0:54:06and other markets have been.
0:54:08 > 0:54:13I could see people gravitating to interesting and compelling themes.
0:54:33 > 0:54:38Next morning, bloodied but unbowed, Jimmy O faces his public over
0:54:38 > 0:54:43scrambled eggs and hand-engraved hard fruits.
0:54:43 > 0:54:46The comedian was dire.
0:54:46 > 0:54:48Absolutely dire.
0:54:48 > 0:54:51Had he been in Glasgow and stood up the way he was,
0:54:51 > 0:54:54he would have been booed off the stage.
0:54:54 > 0:54:57Yesterday morning I got my sausages with him,
0:54:57 > 0:55:01and I thought he was very funny when he was chatting to me,
0:55:01 > 0:55:04but last night I didn't think that came across.
0:55:04 > 0:55:07It is a deadpan style full of irony,
0:55:07 > 0:55:11and every word counts because it leads up to the punchline.
0:55:11 > 0:55:15Unless you appreciate that, then you will miss it, really.
0:55:15 > 0:55:17You will miss the point he is making.
0:55:17 > 0:55:19It was just brilliant all the way through.
0:55:19 > 0:55:22We should have had a chance to see him
0:55:22 > 0:55:23and to make up our own mind.
0:55:24 > 0:55:29- We might have liked him.- I've been on 15 cruises, so I've seen
0:55:29 > 0:55:34a lot of comedians, and he does not come in anywhere near the middle.
0:55:34 > 0:55:38- Near the bottom, surely. - This is my new job, actually.
0:55:38 > 0:55:43- I'm getting a job in the kitchens. How much do you want?- Not so much.
0:55:43 > 0:55:49He just needs a wee bit of pace, and a wee bit of sharpening up.
0:55:51 > 0:55:54We've had quite a bit of constructive criticism,
0:55:54 > 0:55:58and the best thing to do with that is to take it and use it.
0:55:58 > 0:56:01A lot of people are saying they like you more as yourself,
0:56:01 > 0:56:04so I really think it is worth trying that.
0:56:04 > 0:56:08You said yourself that quite a lot of people said that to over
0:56:08 > 0:56:09the years.
0:56:10 > 0:56:15I'm not asking you to change your act, just try it as an experiment.
0:56:18 > 0:56:20At the end of every cruise,
0:56:20 > 0:56:23you collect something called a customer service questionnaire.
0:56:23 > 0:56:26Looking at the first one, for instance, they have marked
0:56:26 > 0:56:30the production shows as very good, but the guest act as terrible.
0:56:30 > 0:56:33The thing they liked the least was the comedian.
0:56:33 > 0:56:38The production shows, excellent, guest act, poor. OK.
0:56:38 > 0:56:42This one has ticked excellent for Jimmy.
0:56:42 > 0:56:46They have ticked excellent for everything, so unfortunately it
0:56:46 > 0:56:50looks like they have just had a good time and done that all the way down.
0:56:50 > 0:56:52Very nice, but it doesn't mean anything, really.
0:56:56 > 0:56:59It was made very clear to Jimmy that he's really got to hit
0:56:59 > 0:57:04- the ground running, and he hit the ground. - I can't make fun of myself now.
0:57:06 > 0:57:10There was not an affinity with him as a performer.
0:57:10 > 0:57:14I certainly have seen there is an affinity with him as an individual.
0:57:14 > 0:57:19But, for whatever reason, that did not translate in his performance,
0:57:19 > 0:57:22and possibly therefore it is his delivery.
0:57:22 > 0:57:24But then that is what we booked.
0:57:24 > 0:57:27It is a business, it is showbusiness.
0:57:27 > 0:57:34My character, my act perhaps does not fit this world at the moment.
0:57:34 > 0:57:38Jimmy, I think it fits this world, it didn't fit this audience.
0:57:38 > 0:57:40- On that specific occasion. - Absolutely.
0:57:40 > 0:57:44We might well try again in a different setting.
0:57:44 > 0:57:48I wouldn't actually change anything, I would rather change the audience.
0:57:52 > 0:57:57As a person, I'm quite private. I can be aloof sometimes, you know?
0:57:57 > 0:57:59Locked in my own world.
0:58:01 > 0:58:05I have enjoyed coming out of myself.
0:58:05 > 0:58:09It has been quite therapeutic in a way, being nice to people.
0:58:09 > 0:58:14That has been a really good experience, I did not realise how nice I could be.
0:58:14 > 0:58:18I'm walking away from this with my head held high.
0:58:18 > 0:58:22Everybody, no matter what level you attain in the entertainment world,
0:58:22 > 0:58:24you're going to have bad nights.
0:58:24 > 0:58:26I did all I could, it just wasn't my night.
0:58:37 > 0:58:41Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd