Episode 3

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0:00:02 > 0:00:09This programme contains strong language.

0:00:23 > 0:00:28Edinburgh, a truly breathtaking destination.

0:00:28 > 0:00:31And in August, when the festival hits town,

0:00:31 > 0:00:33the city really puts on the charm...

0:00:35 > 0:00:38..to deliver wholesome family fun.

0:00:39 > 0:00:40But not at Late 'N' Live.

0:00:42 > 0:00:47This late-night comedy club opens its doors at 1am,

0:00:47 > 0:00:50so it might not have charm, but the drinks are cheap.

0:00:51 > 0:00:55You might see some nakedness,

0:00:55 > 0:00:58some very bad dancing.

0:01:00 > 0:01:01Some unpleasantness.

0:01:03 > 0:01:06You'll hear some of the most extraordinary heckles,

0:01:06 > 0:01:08some of the foulest language.

0:01:08 > 0:01:10So strap in. It's going to be fucking brilliant.

0:01:10 > 0:01:13You'll see punching, fighting.

0:01:17 > 0:01:20They might as well just have called it Late 'N' Pissed.

0:01:20 > 0:01:25The audience always were and a lot of the acts were.

0:01:25 > 0:01:29You've got an unconscious bloke down the front

0:01:29 > 0:01:31and a woman vomiting into her bra.

0:01:31 > 0:01:34It's that kind of, that's difficult to go,

0:01:34 > 0:01:39"Hey, let me tell you a story about one of the little-known Argonauts."

0:01:40 > 0:01:42Previously in this series,

0:01:42 > 0:01:44we uncovered how stand-up comics have to

0:01:44 > 0:01:49abandon their well-crafted acts to appease the Late 'N' Live audience.

0:01:49 > 0:01:55In this episode, we ask, using previously unreleased footage,

0:01:55 > 0:01:57how far can they actually go?

0:02:01 > 0:02:03Uh!

0:02:04 > 0:02:07So prepare yourself for the wild

0:02:07 > 0:02:11and quite often very disgusting truth about live comedy.

0:02:11 > 0:02:14Very often, the audience had been to see these comics

0:02:14 > 0:02:19doing their shows and what they wanted was something more.

0:02:19 > 0:02:23They wanted something more than just the comics doing their show.

0:02:25 > 0:02:28And now this was a different environment,

0:02:28 > 0:02:32almost like seeing them in a personal way.

0:02:32 > 0:02:35They almost felt there was a kind of contract with them.

0:02:35 > 0:02:38They'd say, "Come on, we like your stuff, we know what you do,

0:02:38 > 0:02:42"but you have to give it a bit more."

0:02:42 > 0:02:47You have to go off the script a bit, improvise. Just go a bit nuts.

0:02:53 > 0:02:57And no-one on this stage was happier going a bit nuts

0:02:57 > 0:02:59than Johnny Vegas.

0:02:59 > 0:03:03At 2am, he found his natural home as the master of,

0:03:03 > 0:03:07"Oh, man, what's he going to do next?"

0:03:07 > 0:03:11COMPERES: Johnny Vegas!

0:03:15 > 0:03:18Bear in mind, if people had never seen him before,

0:03:18 > 0:03:21Johnny Vegas, you think it's going to be this

0:03:21 > 0:03:26sort of super-lean, cabaret-type, you know,

0:03:26 > 0:03:28almost like a Des O'Connor-type figure

0:03:28 > 0:03:31that's going to come out and croon at you.

0:03:31 > 0:03:35And then Johnny Vegas, and this thing, you know,

0:03:35 > 0:03:40this shambolic, staggering, just thing.

0:03:40 > 0:03:45You cannot insult me.

0:03:45 > 0:03:47God got there first.

0:03:49 > 0:03:54God put me on this earth with an intelligent mind

0:03:54 > 0:03:57and the ability to appreciate women,

0:03:57 > 0:04:00but not the outward ability to make things happen.

0:04:02 > 0:04:05'You couldn't go out there with a set piece

0:04:05 > 0:04:08'and think you would ever get through that material.'

0:04:08 > 0:04:10If you're willing to ditch it

0:04:10 > 0:04:12and go with whatever the gig throws up,

0:04:12 > 0:04:14because the gig isn't really bothered

0:04:14 > 0:04:17about some brilliant anecdote that you've written.

0:04:17 > 0:04:20They just want to see how you react in the here and now.

0:04:22 > 0:04:28And Johnny's gift for, shall we say, alcohol-fuelled improvisation

0:04:28 > 0:04:33led to an unfortunate reputation for extreme overrunning.

0:04:33 > 0:04:37WAILS HYSTERICALLY

0:04:37 > 0:04:41'Time had no meaning whatsoever once I was up there.'

0:04:41 > 0:04:45Cos once the madness was out, I wasn't in control any more.

0:04:45 > 0:04:47I can turn this around.

0:04:47 > 0:04:49LAUGHTER

0:04:49 > 0:04:53I just need another two hours.

0:04:53 > 0:04:57On this night in 2001, Johnny was running way over

0:04:57 > 0:05:01the 20 minutes he was booked to do at the end of the show.

0:05:01 > 0:05:04It's that thing of going, suddenly it has been 40 minutes

0:05:04 > 0:05:06and folk are backstage and the sun's coming up.

0:05:08 > 0:05:11So it fell on the three comperes Daniel Kitson, Adam Hills

0:05:11 > 0:05:15and Ross Noble, to find a way of just trying to get him off.

0:05:15 > 0:05:17I've got the map and it's in me head!

0:05:17 > 0:05:21See, the problem there is the show needed to finish...

0:05:21 > 0:05:25and Kitson's gone on and gone, "Let's drag him off."

0:05:25 > 0:05:27But, of course, once the audience get behind someone...

0:05:27 > 0:05:30They're all going, "Johnny! Johnny!"

0:05:30 > 0:05:32- AUDIENCE:- Johnny! Johnny! Johnny!

0:05:32 > 0:05:33'There's nothing you could do then.'

0:05:33 > 0:05:35We couldn't drag him off,

0:05:35 > 0:05:38cos then the audience will go, "Tch! Oh!"

0:05:38 > 0:05:42First, Daniel Kitson tried a...straightforward approach.

0:05:42 > 0:05:44I'm...!

0:05:45 > 0:05:47- AUDIENCE:- Johnny! Johnny!

0:05:49 > 0:05:51HE LAUGHS

0:05:53 > 0:05:57I'd forgotten they'd wrestled us to the ground like this.

0:05:57 > 0:06:00DANIEL: Right, we agreed a tight ten, Vegas.

0:06:01 > 0:06:04A nice tight ten with maybe a little song.

0:06:04 > 0:06:07'None of this would have been scripted before, and...

0:06:07 > 0:06:09'if you looked at our material written down,

0:06:09 > 0:06:13'it would just look really weak.'

0:06:13 > 0:06:14But I think when you watch it...

0:06:14 > 0:06:18- Even though it's me I'm talk... - HE LAUGHS

0:06:20 > 0:06:22- AUDIENCE:- Johnny! Johnny! Johnny!

0:06:22 > 0:06:25CHEERING

0:06:26 > 0:06:30I'm not entirely sure why I kissed Johnny Vegas!

0:06:30 > 0:06:31HE LAUGHS

0:06:33 > 0:06:37Ross has just got stuck with the arse in the face.

0:06:37 > 0:06:39HE GUFFAWS

0:06:41 > 0:06:43ROSS LAUGHS

0:06:47 > 0:06:50CHEERING

0:06:50 > 0:06:52I always knew.

0:06:53 > 0:06:55Somehow, I always knew.

0:06:57 > 0:06:58The way you chat to me.

0:06:58 > 0:07:01LAUGHTER

0:07:01 > 0:07:05The way you seem interested in my conversations.

0:07:06 > 0:07:07Fucking hell.

0:07:07 > 0:07:10I just took it as you didn't have any other mates.

0:07:10 > 0:07:12LAUGHTER

0:07:12 > 0:07:13- AUDIENCE:- Awww!

0:07:13 > 0:07:18Why didn't you say something sooner?!

0:07:18 > 0:07:22Why did you leave it for the last night?!

0:07:22 > 0:07:23CHEERING

0:07:23 > 0:07:27It just genuinely looks like someone having a breakdown, doesn't it?

0:07:27 > 0:07:30CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:07:32 > 0:07:35Come here. Come here!

0:07:35 > 0:07:37Sit down. We can build a little fire.

0:07:37 > 0:07:40LAUGHTER

0:07:40 > 0:07:42It'll just be like me and you.

0:07:42 > 0:07:44It'll be like the rest of them never existed.

0:07:44 > 0:07:45CHEERING

0:07:45 > 0:07:48- ADAM:- 'That was the joy of Johnny Vegas.'

0:07:48 > 0:07:50It had nothing to do with jokes or an act.

0:07:50 > 0:07:53It had to do with creating something an audience would only see that night.

0:07:53 > 0:07:56- Take me to bed.- Come on, mate.

0:07:56 > 0:07:58- Take me to bed. - Come with me, come on.

0:07:58 > 0:08:00- Take me to bed.- Jesus Christ!

0:08:00 > 0:08:02Can someone build a bed nearby?

0:08:02 > 0:08:04LAUGHTER

0:08:04 > 0:08:07NOT YOU! NOT YOU!

0:08:07 > 0:08:08And NOT YOU!

0:08:08 > 0:08:10JUST HIM!

0:08:13 > 0:08:16NOT YOU! YOU!

0:08:17 > 0:08:20It's like somebody being taken out of an asylum!

0:08:20 > 0:08:24COME ON! COME ON!

0:08:30 > 0:08:32CHEERING So...

0:08:33 > 0:08:36So, have we got anyone in from Scotland?

0:08:36 > 0:08:37CHEERING AND LAUGHTER

0:08:37 > 0:08:39Ohhh...

0:08:39 > 0:08:42And so it continued until, finally,

0:08:42 > 0:08:47Noble, Kitson and Hills stumbled on a plan.

0:08:48 > 0:08:53DANIEL: 'Johnny, come to me. I am the drink you so desire.'

0:08:53 > 0:08:57- ADAM:- 'Somehow, I got my hands on a bottle of Baileys,'

0:08:57 > 0:08:59and I'm trying to entice him with Baileys.

0:08:59 > 0:09:03Daniel Kitson is doing the voice of Baileys over the backstage mike.

0:09:03 > 0:09:07DANIEL: 'Why don't you go backstage and have me quietly in a corner

0:09:07 > 0:09:12- 'and think about what's happened?' - HA, HA, HA! I already drank it!

0:09:12 > 0:09:14ADAM LAUGHS

0:09:14 > 0:09:16And I'm watching myself going,

0:09:16 > 0:09:18"Oh, shit, this guy's never going to get off stage."

0:09:20 > 0:09:25Wow. The makers of a whiskey-based cream liqueur must be so pleased(!)

0:09:25 > 0:09:28- AUDIENCE:- Johnny! Johnny! Johnny!

0:09:32 > 0:09:36DANIEL: # Trust in me

0:09:36 > 0:09:39# Just in me... #

0:09:42 > 0:09:45Ladies and gentlemen, Johnny Vegas!

0:09:45 > 0:09:47CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:09:47 > 0:09:51Rather pathetic, but a little bit beautiful at the same time.

0:09:57 > 0:10:01So if the question is, "How far can you go?",

0:10:01 > 0:10:04the answer is probably, "Pretty far."

0:10:04 > 0:10:06CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:10:06 > 0:10:08'Oh.'

0:10:08 > 0:10:11There's me. I don't remember pretending to have sex with Russell,

0:10:11 > 0:10:14but that's clearly me doing that.

0:10:14 > 0:10:15AUDIENCE JEERS AND APPLAUDS

0:10:15 > 0:10:18'Look at my little white arse there.'

0:10:18 > 0:10:22There we go. That typifies the sort of thing that goes on late night at Late 'N' Live.

0:10:22 > 0:10:26You've got a kind of comedy nerd crowd there,

0:10:26 > 0:10:28and they just appreciate seeing...

0:10:28 > 0:10:32I don't want to talk us up, because we're not the Beatles and the Stones.

0:10:32 > 0:10:35But it is like seeing, you know, somebody from a band that you like

0:10:35 > 0:10:38jamming with somebody else from a band you also like.

0:10:38 > 0:10:39RUSSELL LAUGHS

0:10:39 > 0:10:42# There's a moose loose aboot this hoose... #

0:10:42 > 0:10:45'Just to see them on stage, giving it a go and having a laugh -

0:10:45 > 0:10:47'it's part of what you go to Late 'N' Live for.'

0:10:47 > 0:10:49'That's what was exciting about it.'

0:10:49 > 0:10:53It actually encouraged you to sort of let go a little bit,

0:10:53 > 0:10:55like a bit of a sort of, you know, stepping off.

0:10:55 > 0:10:59A bit of a bungee jump, a bit of like, "Whoooaa!"

0:11:04 > 0:11:09In the mid '90s, Beergut 100 became the Late 'N' Live house band.

0:11:11 > 0:11:13Made up of comedians jamming together,

0:11:13 > 0:11:18they played a raucous set till 5am every morning.

0:11:20 > 0:11:21The original idea?

0:11:21 > 0:11:27A beer-fuelled brainwave of the magnificent Bill Bailey.

0:11:32 > 0:11:36One night, I came to the show and I was looking around, thinking,

0:11:36 > 0:11:38"You know what this kind of place actually needs?

0:11:38 > 0:11:41"A bit more, sort of, anarchy."

0:11:44 > 0:11:46'And I was thinking, "Come on, it's like 3am.'

0:11:46 > 0:11:50"Everyone's had a few, you know, light ales.

0:11:50 > 0:11:52"We need something a bit more... in your face."

0:11:54 > 0:11:57Various other members of the band came along.

0:11:57 > 0:12:01Phil Whelans, a comic and a writer, an improviser. He plays bass. He'd been in loads of bands.

0:12:01 > 0:12:04Martin Trenaman, again, a comic, an actor, a stand-up.

0:12:04 > 0:12:07He'd been in loads of bands, playing the drums.

0:12:07 > 0:12:09Kevin Eldon sings in various blues bands and other bands,

0:12:09 > 0:12:11and has been a singer for years.

0:12:11 > 0:12:13He was the natural fit for the singer.

0:12:13 > 0:12:16# Got no reason and it's all too much

0:12:16 > 0:12:17# You'll always find us

0:12:19 > 0:12:21# Out to lunch

0:12:21 > 0:12:23# And we're out at lunch

0:12:23 > 0:12:26# We're so pretty Oh so pretty

0:12:27 > 0:12:29# V-vacant... #

0:12:29 > 0:12:33This is actually the only surviving footage of Beergut 100.

0:12:35 > 0:12:39Amazingly, using Bill's own camera, this was expertly filmed

0:12:39 > 0:12:43with comedian Alan Davies behind the lens.

0:12:43 > 0:12:45# And we don't care... #

0:12:46 > 0:12:48It's always fascinating

0:12:48 > 0:12:52when talented professionals show what else they can really do.

0:12:55 > 0:12:57Look, what a rammy!

0:12:58 > 0:13:02Mm-hm. See? You'll never hear that on Radio Scotland.

0:13:02 > 0:13:04I'd no idea I was there.

0:13:06 > 0:13:08# We're so pretty Oh so pretty... #

0:13:10 > 0:13:11What?!

0:13:12 > 0:13:14What was I doing?!

0:13:14 > 0:13:17Ach, don't be embarrassed, Fred. You weren't the only one.

0:13:17 > 0:13:22Look, here on this night from 1996, watch Dave Lamb -

0:13:22 > 0:13:26voice of Come Dine With Me - serve himself up as...

0:13:26 > 0:13:28a little buffet.

0:13:33 > 0:13:36Ooh, I'll give that a nine out of ten.

0:13:36 > 0:13:39# God save the Queen... #

0:13:39 > 0:13:43It was riveting sometimes, and I was. You know, I was just...

0:13:43 > 0:13:45I was playing the guitar a lot of the time,

0:13:45 > 0:13:48watching all this stuff and thinking, "This is brilliant!

0:13:48 > 0:13:52"This is as good a performance as you'll see anywhere, you know, in the festival."

0:13:52 > 0:13:55"And it's just... Now it's three o'clock in the morning

0:13:55 > 0:13:57"and everyone's a bit off their face."

0:13:57 > 0:14:00but I'm glad some of it... we managed to capture some of it.

0:14:00 > 0:14:03# Now there's no future

0:14:03 > 0:14:06# In England's dreaming... #

0:14:06 > 0:14:08No future.

0:14:08 > 0:14:09Apparently.

0:14:09 > 0:14:12# No future

0:14:12 > 0:14:17# No future for you

0:14:17 > 0:14:18# No future

0:14:18 > 0:14:24# No future for you. #

0:14:27 > 0:14:29I can still do it.

0:14:29 > 0:14:31CHEERING

0:14:33 > 0:14:36We would play till four, four thirty.

0:14:36 > 0:14:39And then we'd all go to an all-night garage and get veggie haggis.

0:14:41 > 0:14:43CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:14:43 > 0:14:45Round one!

0:14:45 > 0:14:49It's very, very difficult to replace a comedy punk band,

0:14:49 > 0:14:51so the new brand of comics...

0:14:51 > 0:14:53Well, they've opted for something...

0:14:53 > 0:14:55sillier.

0:14:55 > 0:14:57Two bubbles popped, two bubbles popped.

0:14:57 > 0:15:00The great thing about Late 'N' Live is that the comics

0:15:00 > 0:15:03can do whatever they want. Experiment.

0:15:03 > 0:15:05One year, I went down, and myself and Dave O'Doherty,

0:15:05 > 0:15:07dressed in bubble wrap.

0:15:07 > 0:15:11- We had a fight in bubble wrap. - Pop, pop, pop.

0:15:11 > 0:15:13And that's the kind of thing that drunk people want to see

0:15:13 > 0:15:15at that stage, they don't have to think about the words,

0:15:15 > 0:15:19so they're able to watch that and go, oh, that's right, that's right.

0:15:19 > 0:15:22What the audience wanted was that randomness of it all.

0:15:22 > 0:15:26Almost as if you had cheated by coming with material.

0:15:26 > 0:15:30If you actually had jokes written, that was somehow not in the spirit.

0:15:37 > 0:15:40And the spirit of things for David O'Doherty is to

0:15:40 > 0:15:46dress in bubble wrap, and if you've no bubblewrap then bring your bike!

0:15:49 > 0:15:53Even though he's pissed, he still wants to do tricks!

0:15:53 > 0:15:55On the first day of the festival, I'd splash out, whatever,

0:15:55 > 0:15:5870 or 80 quid on a bike, and if it kept going

0:15:58 > 0:16:02until the last day of the festival, I would give it away.

0:16:02 > 0:16:03Up you get.

0:16:03 > 0:16:06Oh, it's like The Price Is Right, except with Stephen K Amos

0:16:06 > 0:16:11and Russell Howard and David O'Doherty and a...bike.

0:16:13 > 0:16:16We had a competition, I think,

0:16:16 > 0:16:20to decide who was the most worthy winner of my bike.

0:16:20 > 0:16:24And people came up with various reasons as to why they should have it.

0:16:24 > 0:16:27Finally, why would you like your bike?

0:16:27 > 0:16:32My parents died when I was young and I didn't have much money and...

0:16:32 > 0:16:35And then I recall one man insisting that,

0:16:35 > 0:16:39I think he had no mum and dad, that he was certainly an orphan boy.

0:16:39 > 0:16:43This bike is your mother

0:16:43 > 0:16:45and your father.

0:16:45 > 0:16:49And this lucky punter didn't just walk away with the bike, no, no,

0:16:49 > 0:16:54he crowd surfed over the audience on the bike.

0:16:54 > 0:16:56- And the whole audience went for it. - Look at that!

0:16:58 > 0:17:02There's a genuine risk here he could fall off and break his neck as well.

0:17:02 > 0:17:07- That's what I really like about this.- Oh, that man is riding in air!

0:17:09 > 0:17:14- Wonderful!- This is quite moving.

0:17:14 > 0:17:19He hasn't got a mum and dad! Cheer him!

0:17:20 > 0:17:23This is almost like how I would like to go to heaven!

0:17:23 > 0:17:25I would like to be taken up

0:17:25 > 0:17:29and floated away with classical music playing and on a bike.

0:17:29 > 0:17:34- CHEERING - Keep the fucking light on him!

0:17:36 > 0:17:39Now it's time for your next act.

0:17:42 > 0:17:43Wow!

0:17:43 > 0:17:46At Late 'N' Live, you don't have to bike surf to be magnificent.

0:17:46 > 0:17:50You just have to be prepared to come off script,

0:17:50 > 0:17:53as Kiwi comic Jarred Christmas showed us.

0:17:55 > 0:17:57So, strap in, it's going to be fucking brilliant!

0:17:57 > 0:18:01It's going to be like sex! Isn't it? Sex with me.

0:18:01 > 0:18:05Start off strong and I end very fucking weak.

0:18:05 > 0:18:08What do you have to do to keep that audience going?

0:18:08 > 0:18:10What levels do you have to get to?

0:18:10 > 0:18:14What levels do you have to sink to, to get that night rocking

0:18:14 > 0:18:16and keep it going?

0:18:16 > 0:18:21It's all about trying to create some sort of event,

0:18:21 > 0:18:24because that's what the audience is there for.

0:18:24 > 0:18:27And on this occasion, the audience are there to shout out

0:18:27 > 0:18:30the names of different types of food.

0:18:30 > 0:18:33OK. What else can we talk about?

0:18:33 > 0:18:37I want to talk about something funny. Give me a suggestion, come on?

0:18:37 > 0:18:38Cheese!

0:18:38 > 0:18:42I was in a mood to play, and I kept sort of egging them on,

0:18:42 > 0:18:45just going, you know, saying, come on, shout something out

0:18:45 > 0:18:49and I'll try and do some material on it, or come up with something,

0:18:49 > 0:18:50at least live in the moment.

0:18:54 > 0:18:59Someone shouted out Pavlova. Hey, welcome back, I've missed you.

0:18:59 > 0:19:04- Pavlova!- Oh! Pavlova!

0:19:04 > 0:19:09Now isn't that a delicious meringue-based dessert invented in,

0:19:09 > 0:19:11oh, where was it invented?

0:19:15 > 0:19:18All New Zealanders at some point in school

0:19:18 > 0:19:23learn the history of Pavlova, because it's our...you need to know,

0:19:23 > 0:19:29so if any unassuming Aussie swans in and just goes, yeah,

0:19:29 > 0:19:33Pavlova is ours, we can lay it down with the facts,

0:19:33 > 0:19:37that no, it was created by a New Zealand chef for a visiting ballerina.

0:19:37 > 0:19:42- It's a New Zealand dish.- Aussies made the Pavlova!- Aussies did not make the fucking Pavlova.

0:19:44 > 0:19:47Man, it's kicking off!

0:19:48 > 0:19:50That's fighting talk.

0:19:52 > 0:19:56- That shit needs to be dealt with. - OK.

0:19:56 > 0:20:00And at this point, Jarred is not onstage because, well,

0:20:00 > 0:20:02it needs to be dealt with.

0:20:02 > 0:20:05SHOUTING AND APPLAUSE

0:20:05 > 0:20:09At this point, I think I'm on top of him.

0:20:09 > 0:20:11CHEERING

0:20:11 > 0:20:14We had a bit of a wrestle on the ground in the darkness.

0:20:14 > 0:20:18But by the time the light got to us, we were both on our feet.

0:20:21 > 0:20:25I'm struggling to get back on the stage at this point.

0:20:25 > 0:20:27Because of eating too much Pavlova.

0:20:29 > 0:20:35Fuck you, Australia. Yeah! I took you down, man! Pavlova is ours.

0:20:35 > 0:20:39Yeah, we were fighting over Russell Crowe. He turned out to be a BLEEP.

0:20:39 > 0:20:42You can have him.

0:20:42 > 0:20:46It hasn't gone how I thought it would. I'll be honest with you.

0:20:46 > 0:20:49I didn't I'd get into a fight with a man over Pavlova,

0:20:49 > 0:20:54but, I don't know if you've ever seen two men fight over a dessert.

0:20:54 > 0:20:59But, you have tonight! So lock that in the memory bank!

0:20:59 > 0:21:02You see! Late 'N' Live does have culture!

0:21:02 > 0:21:05You learn the history of the Pavlova and you can also learn that

0:21:05 > 0:21:10you can find a dancing horse outside Andalucia.

0:21:10 > 0:21:13Case in point, Greg Davies, We Are Klang.

0:21:17 > 0:21:18# Here he comes now

0:21:18 > 0:21:20# Look at him move

0:21:20 > 0:21:22# Look at him glide!

0:21:22 > 0:21:26He'll do robotics. He'll do robotics. He'll do robotics.

0:21:26 > 0:21:28You know, each Late 'N' Live was always an event

0:21:28 > 0:21:31when Late 'N' Live was at its best, I think.

0:21:31 > 0:21:32You know, proper live comedy.

0:21:32 > 0:21:37- You do the running man, you do the running man.- Here we are in 2007.

0:21:37 > 0:21:42That's Marek Larwood. Or it could be a horse.

0:21:42 > 0:21:47- I don't know, I can't decide!- We do the Charleston! We do the Charleston!

0:21:47 > 0:21:50Marek really hated it under that horse's head,

0:21:50 > 0:21:53because it was incredibly hot. It's a rubber horse's mask,

0:21:53 > 0:21:57and he was never more than a heartbeat away from collapsing.

0:21:57 > 0:22:01And we knew that. And so we just made it worse.

0:22:01 > 0:22:07- He does a stage dive. - He does a stage dive! On your feet!

0:22:07 > 0:22:09I don't know whether we forced him to,

0:22:09 > 0:22:15but we convinced Marek it was a good idea for him to stage dive into the crowd wearing a rubber horse's head.

0:22:15 > 0:22:17Right to the back of the room!

0:22:18 > 0:22:21He was just being tossed about, and the thing is,

0:22:21 > 0:22:24I know Marek so well I could see that he was really frightened.

0:22:24 > 0:22:29He was really frightened. Because his body was so stiff. HE LAUGHS

0:22:29 > 0:22:33Please don't kill our horsey!

0:22:33 > 0:22:37- Please don't kill our horsey. - 'He was furious.'

0:22:37 > 0:22:39And after the gigs, he would come off and go,

0:22:39 > 0:22:43"what the fuck are you playing at?!" Brilliant!

0:22:43 > 0:22:47- CHEERING - Apparently, Tonto had a potty mouth as well.

0:22:47 > 0:22:50Sometimes at Late 'N' Live,

0:22:50 > 0:22:53you don't even have to be on the bill to get roped into the mayhem,

0:22:53 > 0:22:57as John Bishop found out when he dropped in on a night off.

0:22:57 > 0:23:00Before long, he was up against compere Patrick Monahan

0:23:00 > 0:23:05and a crowd surf race. At three o'clock in the morning!

0:23:05 > 0:23:08CHEERING

0:23:10 > 0:23:13When you crowd surf, people just put hands everywhere,

0:23:13 > 0:23:17and they're grabbing bits, and they're pushing and it was hilarious.

0:23:17 > 0:23:19And you just go, someone just grabbed me nuts,

0:23:19 > 0:23:21what are they doing there?!

0:23:21 > 0:23:24People are just grabbing like they're in a fruit shop.

0:23:24 > 0:23:27And I'm just looking around, and I can just see his face.

0:23:27 > 0:23:30You can see he is being touched all over, you can see him going...!

0:23:32 > 0:23:34Who won the race?

0:23:34 > 0:23:37Well, listen, John Bishop used to play for Liverpool football club,

0:23:37 > 0:23:40he's an athlete, and I'm from Teesside!

0:23:40 > 0:23:44So the natural winner was me. I murdered him!

0:23:44 > 0:23:47I'm a professional at this.

0:23:47 > 0:23:50We finish tonight's show, and you have been warned,

0:23:50 > 0:23:55with a Late 'N' Live evening where it all goes a little off-piste.

0:23:55 > 0:24:01Scott Capurro is a great comic and a genuinely lovely man.

0:24:01 > 0:24:06And this is why I'll never lend him my jumper.

0:24:06 > 0:24:09Wow, look at this. What the fuck's going on?

0:24:09 > 0:24:13There's stripping and one-legged people, look at you all.

0:24:13 > 0:24:17I'm from California, you know, shows end at 11:00, people go home,

0:24:17 > 0:24:20they have kids. There's security guards to handle audiences like that.

0:24:20 > 0:24:25I've never seen anything like it. It was really, it was horrifying to walk into.

0:24:25 > 0:24:28It's nice to be here. It's very scary though, because my mother called me.

0:24:28 > 0:24:29She's freaked out about my being in Britain.

0:24:29 > 0:24:31"Honey, I'm so nervous". She lives in California.

0:24:31 > 0:24:36"I'm so terrified. You're going to be killed by a terrorist in the U of K area".

0:24:36 > 0:24:39The U of K area. What is it with Americans? They want to run the world,

0:24:39 > 0:24:42but they're not quite sure where anything really is!

0:24:42 > 0:24:44'My jokes are well thought out by me, at least, so I'm thinking,'

0:24:44 > 0:24:48this is scripted material, I'll get through it, I'm sure it will be fine.

0:24:48 > 0:24:50And it wasn't enough for them, they wanted a bit more.

0:24:50 > 0:24:53And if an audience wants more at two o'clock in the morning,

0:24:53 > 0:24:57that's kind of a time to start worrying.

0:24:57 > 0:25:01Do you see that jumper, innocently lying on the stage?

0:25:04 > 0:25:06That one.

0:25:06 > 0:25:07Piss on that jumper!

0:25:07 > 0:25:12- What?- Piss on that jumper?! Is that your fetish?

0:25:12 > 0:25:14Piss on the jumper.

0:25:14 > 0:25:17Why? I'm going to tell a joke though.

0:25:17 > 0:25:21There's a point, where it's like, how can I push this, what can I do?

0:25:21 > 0:25:26It's Edinburgh after all, everyone is looking for a story. You know.

0:25:26 > 0:25:30- Maybe this is it. - What? On that jumper?

0:25:30 > 0:25:32At this point, Russell Howard

0:25:32 > 0:25:37and Adam Hills are backstage thinking, what?!

0:25:37 > 0:25:42And then it's the moment of, I can't get his back.

0:25:42 > 0:25:45There's nothing I can do now. I have to piss on the jumper.

0:25:45 > 0:25:47You've called for it.

0:25:47 > 0:25:49CHEERING

0:25:49 > 0:25:53I can't believe I'm getting my cock out. What's wrong with me?

0:25:53 > 0:25:56I'm fluffing it. I'm fluffing my penis.

0:25:56 > 0:25:58I've got to get it up little bit. Hold on.

0:25:58 > 0:26:00I've got to warm it before I piss on it. All right?

0:26:00 > 0:26:04Did I piss on it? Oh, my God!

0:26:04 > 0:26:05All right.

0:26:08 > 0:26:12It's just the nonchalance. That's just it.

0:26:12 > 0:26:16Yeah, watching him do it now. He looks over at us.

0:26:16 > 0:26:19This is it. This is it! Look! Oh, that's the best!

0:26:19 > 0:26:22It's just the little tilt of the head!

0:26:25 > 0:26:28There it is! There's the look!

0:26:29 > 0:26:31Yeah, I'm pissing on a jumper!

0:26:31 > 0:26:35I'm really glad you asked because I totally had to go too! It's funny!

0:26:35 > 0:26:38We're on the same wavelength, because I'm thinking,

0:26:38 > 0:26:40I've really got to take a piss, and there you are!

0:26:40 > 0:26:44The audience are now fully on his side. And they're all cheering!

0:26:44 > 0:26:47There's that moment, as a comedian, where in amongst all that,

0:26:47 > 0:26:51you go, it's brilliant, I don't even have to do my act!

0:26:51 > 0:26:53CHEERING

0:26:54 > 0:26:57It's really, really wet too, everybody!

0:26:57 > 0:26:59Oh, oh!

0:26:59 > 0:27:02Awww!

0:27:02 > 0:27:08- He threw it into the crowd! - Now, how do we top that?! OK!

0:27:08 > 0:27:11Oh, yes, and he said what every comic would then think,

0:27:11 > 0:27:14how do we top that? You don't. You get offstage.

0:27:14 > 0:27:17Have a lovely evening, enjoy yourselves, thank you very much!

0:27:20 > 0:27:22So, if you ask Scott how the gig went,

0:27:22 > 0:27:25he'll say it was a piece of, you know!

0:27:27 > 0:27:31Actually, this is disgusting, can we get the cleaner out to clean this piss off.

0:27:31 > 0:27:34CHEERING

0:27:34 > 0:27:41- Cheers, mate!- Enter Jimmy Carr! - That's good. Yeah.

0:27:41 > 0:27:44It was weird, it was Jimmy's idea, that's what was great.

0:27:44 > 0:27:46But it looks like I've kind of summoned him on,

0:27:46 > 0:27:48but he said, I'll go and clean the piss.

0:27:48 > 0:27:53I said, are you sure, and this is just as Jimmy became Mr TV,

0:27:53 > 0:27:56and there he is, on stage, mopping up piss.

0:27:58 > 0:28:00That's why he's a star!

0:28:00 > 0:28:02Cos he ties things together and cleans them up.

0:28:02 > 0:28:05I just leave open wounds gaping.

0:28:05 > 0:28:09And 8 Out Of 10 Cats can use a mop!

0:28:09 > 0:28:12Next time, we find out what stand-ups

0:28:12 > 0:28:16from around the world really think of a Scottish audience.

0:28:16 > 0:28:19Just like loads of mad, scaldy looking Scottish people

0:28:19 > 0:28:24like they're in a boiling pot going, what the fuck is that?!

0:28:35 > 0:28:38Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd