0:00:29 > 0:00:33I came to London for the first time in 1961. 1961.
0:00:33 > 0:00:39My husband thinks I should actually have some sort of pearly outfit.
0:00:39 > 0:00:44I'm from York, so North Yorkshire,
0:00:44 > 0:00:49so the sort of hardest part of Yorkshire.
0:00:49 > 0:00:51All of my family are Arsenal supporters.
0:00:51 > 0:00:53Myself and my youngest son Harry,
0:00:53 > 0:00:56we're the black sheep of the family, we follow Spurs.
0:00:56 > 0:01:03My first memories of London were coming to London for the weekend,
0:01:03 > 0:01:05and the family would kind of,
0:01:05 > 0:01:09we'd have a weekend down in the city, where the main event
0:01:09 > 0:01:11was to go and see a show in the West End,
0:01:11 > 0:01:14which I was always very, very excited about.
0:01:14 > 0:01:18It's just too congested, it's just too much noise,
0:01:18 > 0:01:21there's just too much going on.
0:01:21 > 0:01:27London to me was all about Duran Duran,
0:01:27 > 0:01:30and tea and biscuits, probably the Royal family.
0:01:30 > 0:01:32In London you can lose your identity
0:01:32 > 0:01:35and be anybody you want to be, I suppose.
0:01:40 > 0:01:45To move to a city like London, which is so accepting and, you know,
0:01:45 > 0:01:49there's huge diversity, it seemed like an ideal place for me to go
0:01:49 > 0:01:51and set up my life, really.
0:01:51 > 0:01:52HE LAUGHS
0:02:04 > 0:02:07The International Olympic Committee has the honour of announcing
0:02:07 > 0:02:13that the Games of the 30th Olympiad in 2012
0:02:13 > 0:02:17are awarded to the City of London!
0:02:17 > 0:02:20WILD CHEERING
0:02:34 > 0:02:39Well, that day, I travelled to my local station,
0:02:39 > 0:02:41and my daughter was with me,
0:02:41 > 0:02:43she was about 12 at that time,
0:02:43 > 0:02:45and normally she would walk to school.
0:02:45 > 0:02:47But because we were so excited about the Olympics,
0:02:47 > 0:02:49she said, "Mum, I'll see you to the train."
0:02:49 > 0:02:51I just thought, "Oh, I could do with
0:02:51 > 0:02:53"another ten minutes in bed,"
0:02:53 > 0:02:55so I reset my alarm and thought
0:02:55 > 0:02:58I'd just get the later train,
0:02:58 > 0:03:00the overground train.
0:03:00 > 0:03:02My habit has always been to arrive early.
0:03:02 > 0:03:04I don't like being late.
0:03:04 > 0:03:06Perhaps it's a personality defect.
0:03:06 > 0:03:08I can't do it.
0:03:08 > 0:03:10It's only myself and my daughter in the mornings,
0:03:10 > 0:03:13but it's just chaos in our home.
0:03:13 > 0:03:14I managed to get her up
0:03:14 > 0:03:16with a bit of shouting,
0:03:16 > 0:03:18managed to get breakfast down her,
0:03:18 > 0:03:20and then we left out together,
0:03:20 > 0:03:23because her school wasn't far from the station that I go in to.
0:03:23 > 0:03:25It was just a typical morning for me
0:03:25 > 0:03:27except that I had a lot on my mind
0:03:27 > 0:03:30because I knew we were going to start
0:03:30 > 0:03:33this big move of the library following day.
0:03:33 > 0:03:36So I came in half an hour earlier than I normally do.
0:03:36 > 0:03:40So she walked me to the station, and I saw a train the station,
0:03:40 > 0:03:43and I thought, "I'm not running for that one, I'll get the next one.
0:03:43 > 0:03:46"It can wait." So I was talking to her, I said goodbye to her,
0:03:46 > 0:03:48and I caught the next train into work.
0:03:52 > 0:03:56I've been commuting for 10, 15 years, or more, now.
0:03:56 > 0:04:02Generally people don't talk very much to their fellow commuters.
0:04:02 > 0:04:06Sometimes you get a group of people chatting to each other,
0:04:06 > 0:04:11and then you'll notice other commuters looking over at them,
0:04:11 > 0:04:12wishing that they would be quiet.
0:04:12 > 0:04:16Because they just want to tuck into their newspaper or book.
0:04:16 > 0:04:20It's just like, "Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me!"
0:04:20 > 0:04:21You know, I mean, nine times out of ten
0:04:21 > 0:04:23they're usually a tourist anyway,
0:04:23 > 0:04:28so they don't understand the etiquette of tube behaviour.
0:04:28 > 0:04:31So I would look around, and try and get a smile out of someone,
0:04:31 > 0:04:36or give someone a smile - something like that anyway. Yeah.
0:04:36 > 0:04:40Sometimes some people think you're a bit weird.
0:04:51 > 0:04:55I suppose they're all people going somewhere.
0:04:59 > 0:05:03I have no painting skills whatsoever, but I love doing this.
0:05:03 > 0:05:05I love colours, I love bright colours.
0:05:05 > 0:05:09Here's the people going somewhere, again.
0:05:14 > 0:05:16I think there's this thing in me that,
0:05:16 > 0:05:23I don't really want to be counselled out of where I am at the moment.
0:05:23 > 0:05:28It may sound a bit odd, you know, but I don't want to...
0:05:28 > 0:05:34It's as if I'm going to be counselled out of not...
0:05:34 > 0:05:37thinking about my son,
0:05:37 > 0:05:40you understand?
0:05:40 > 0:05:44So I tend to... I tend to do it this way.
0:05:44 > 0:05:47For me, this is the best way to do it.
0:05:50 > 0:05:55It's almost, I still want to hold on to part of the anger as well.
0:05:55 > 0:06:00The angry feeling of my son being taken away.
0:06:00 > 0:06:07You know, and it's like I need that part of it as well,
0:06:07 > 0:06:09to keep me going.
0:06:36 > 0:06:38Got off the Victoria line at King's Cross
0:06:38 > 0:06:41and I made my way to the Piccadilly line.
0:06:41 > 0:06:44And then an announcement was made
0:06:44 > 0:06:47that there was going to be delays,
0:06:47 > 0:06:50and in that space of a few minutes,
0:06:50 > 0:06:55loads of people now started to make their way onto the platform,
0:06:55 > 0:06:59and then before I knew it, the platform was heaving with people,
0:06:59 > 0:07:01and the train still hadn't come in.
0:07:04 > 0:07:06So yeah, ran straight to the top,
0:07:06 > 0:07:08and the way that Moorgate tube station is,
0:07:08 > 0:07:10the escalator's at the top,
0:07:10 > 0:07:14and then I did a right and then you're immediately on the platform.
0:07:14 > 0:07:19And then...a tube was coming into the platform,
0:07:19 > 0:07:22and I thought, "What a result!"
0:07:23 > 0:07:26And then at 8:48, the train came in.
0:07:26 > 0:07:29Couldn't get a seat.
0:07:29 > 0:07:33So I sort of went to the right and stood in front of the chairs,
0:07:33 > 0:07:37but just a little way from the doors.
0:07:37 > 0:07:40TRAIN HISSES
0:07:40 > 0:07:42It's only one or two stops to travel like this,
0:07:42 > 0:07:45where I couldn't raise my hands.
0:07:45 > 0:07:48I think the bag I was carrying was trapped
0:07:48 > 0:07:51somewhere two or three feet away from me,
0:07:51 > 0:07:54so my left arm was probably stretched out
0:07:54 > 0:07:56and caught between two other people.
0:07:56 > 0:07:59I mean, I'd travelled on the underground at that time
0:07:59 > 0:08:02for about 17 or 18 years, and I'd never been on a train that packed.
0:08:02 > 0:08:04I was looking round the other passengers
0:08:04 > 0:08:07because there was a chap sitting opposite me,
0:08:07 > 0:08:11James, I believe his name was, who had caught my eye,
0:08:11 > 0:08:16and so I was just looking at the other passengers.
0:08:18 > 0:08:22I'd finished reading the newspaper, I wasn't listening to an iPod.
0:08:22 > 0:08:25And the train pulled out into the tunnel.
0:08:25 > 0:08:27RUSHING AIR
0:08:27 > 0:08:31I remember the eastbound train coming in the other direction,
0:08:31 > 0:08:34on the tracks alongside us.
0:08:34 > 0:08:37I was still reading the Metro newspaper...
0:08:40 > 0:08:46and I remember there was suddenly a very loud bang.
0:08:46 > 0:08:49SILENCE
0:08:58 > 0:09:02This is a book which we were asked to contribute, each family,
0:09:02 > 0:09:04some photographs and some words.
0:09:06 > 0:09:08There we go. There's a picture of David.
0:09:08 > 0:09:12And we just wrote a couple of pages
0:09:12 > 0:09:15talking about him growing up at school,
0:09:15 > 0:09:18- and the holidays.- Holidays.
0:09:18 > 0:09:22He was a bit sensitive - you know, if anyone said to him,
0:09:22 > 0:09:24"Your hair is stuck up," or anything like that...
0:09:24 > 0:09:26He took to wearing this cap,
0:09:26 > 0:09:29because he had lovely thick hair and he'd wear a cap.
0:09:29 > 0:09:32He wore that cup, we couldn't get it off him, could we?
0:09:32 > 0:09:34But he had a Goth phase in his teens, which was quite...
0:09:34 > 0:09:37- That was quite funny. - ..Funny, wasn't it?
0:09:37 > 0:09:40Him and his girlfriend at the time, Jenny.
0:09:40 > 0:09:43I always tell the story, I came home one day when he was 15,
0:09:43 > 0:09:46and he was putting on Jill's mascara.
0:09:46 > 0:09:49And I remember thinking, "Oh, my God, what have we got here?"
0:09:49 > 0:09:52And of course he was just going through the goth phase.
0:09:52 > 0:09:55- He took to big, black baggy trousers.- The whole black outfit.
0:09:55 > 0:09:58- Black cap, black top.- Dyed his hair black.- Dyed his hair black.
0:09:58 > 0:10:00I mean, David was...
0:10:00 > 0:10:02He was fun, you know?
0:10:02 > 0:10:07- I can't talk about it. You'll have to do it.- All right.
0:10:07 > 0:10:09You have to remember, David was 22.
0:10:09 > 0:10:14And we'd spent 22 years guiding him
0:10:14 > 0:10:17and trying to get him ready for the world.
0:10:17 > 0:10:21And in fact, we kind of...
0:10:21 > 0:10:24When he started this job that took him to London,
0:10:24 > 0:10:26we kind of breathed sigh of relief, didn't we, cos we thought...
0:10:26 > 0:10:28- "We got him through his teens." - Job done.
0:10:28 > 0:10:31- We've got him through his teens. - No drugs, nothing to worry about.
0:10:31 > 0:10:33- He's never been arrested.- No trouble.
0:10:33 > 0:10:37We just thought, "Thank God for that." And then he started this job,
0:10:37 > 0:10:39and we thought, "Absolutely fantastic, job done."
0:10:56 > 0:11:03There was a flash, and lights, and lots of buzzing.
0:11:03 > 0:11:05The train shuddered to a halt.
0:11:08 > 0:11:12And I remember seeing in the window opposite me
0:11:14 > 0:11:21a white flash with a mushrooming, fiery cloud around it.
0:11:23 > 0:11:27And then before I had hardly even registered that,
0:11:27 > 0:11:32I was just engulfed in the blast.
0:11:32 > 0:11:37Just a huge blast of wind and fire.
0:11:37 > 0:11:40It was so ferocious, you wouldn't be able to imagine it
0:11:40 > 0:11:42unless you'd actually been there.
0:11:42 > 0:11:43I just remember this light,
0:11:43 > 0:11:47this white light that was just
0:11:47 > 0:11:50completely in front of my face.
0:11:50 > 0:11:54We were sort of all enveloped in this light,
0:11:54 > 0:11:58and it was a sort of feeling of pressure,
0:11:58 > 0:12:03it just wouldn't sort of, it wouldn't go away.
0:12:03 > 0:12:06The force was such that I really thought that my head
0:12:06 > 0:12:08was no longer attached to my shoulders,
0:12:08 > 0:12:10and I remember hearing the screams,
0:12:10 > 0:12:12which of course doesn't make any sense
0:12:12 > 0:12:14cos if I didn't have a head
0:12:14 > 0:12:16I wouldn't be able to hear anything,
0:12:16 > 0:12:18but I remember hearing the screams
0:12:18 > 0:12:20and I just thought that everybody was screaming at me.
0:12:20 > 0:12:23I thought this was just an isolated event that had happened to me.
0:12:23 > 0:12:27The blast seemed to go on...forever.
0:12:27 > 0:12:30I expect it was only a few seconds.
0:12:30 > 0:12:33But it seemed to go on and on.
0:12:33 > 0:12:37I was sure I was going to die at that point.
0:12:37 > 0:12:43And I can remember just thinking of my children, and thinking,
0:12:44 > 0:12:48"I don't want to leave my children now, they're not grown up.
0:12:48 > 0:12:51"I haven't finished the job I'm doing as a mother."
0:12:53 > 0:12:57I just started to see this light smoke,
0:12:57 > 0:12:58sort of like...
0:13:00 > 0:13:02coming, like, past me.
0:13:04 > 0:13:06And then I felt quite light.
0:13:06 > 0:13:09And then just I thought to myself,
0:13:09 > 0:13:12oh, that I was now beginning to float.
0:13:12 > 0:13:14And then I just said to myself,
0:13:14 > 0:13:17"How embarrassing, I feel like I'm going to faint."
0:13:20 > 0:13:23And that was it, I just went into darkness.
0:13:25 > 0:13:27Just went into darkness.
0:13:33 > 0:13:35PHONE RINGS
0:13:35 > 0:13:40PHONE RINGS
0:13:40 > 0:13:43- Duty manager.- Tony, it's Darren. - Hello, Darren.
0:13:43 > 0:13:44What's happening, mate, do you know?
0:13:44 > 0:13:50204, apparently, has reported hearing an explosion on his train.
0:13:50 > 0:13:53- Explosion on train, yeah? - Or a bang on his train.
0:13:53 > 0:13:54Hello, pips?
0:13:54 > 0:13:57Hello, pip controller here,
0:13:57 > 0:14:00just to let you know we've got a T op, 0850 at Russell Square.
0:14:00 > 0:14:02CC information, hello?
0:14:02 > 0:14:05I'm assistant manager at Aldgate, we've just had a big explosion,
0:14:05 > 0:14:08there appears to be something ahead of the train in the track.
0:14:08 > 0:14:10Has anyone been injured at all?
0:14:10 > 0:14:14- We're not aware that anybody's been injured as yet, no.- OK.
0:14:14 > 0:14:19- But there is smoke.- Yeah? - We've lost all power as well.
0:14:19 > 0:14:21No power? OK.
0:14:21 > 0:14:23Now, you're not the only one who's actually had this done,
0:14:23 > 0:14:26so I'm going to confirm with my manager,
0:14:26 > 0:14:30- and we, we'll be in touch with you in a sec, all right?- OK, yes.
0:14:30 > 0:14:33Cos I don't know what, whether anything's been called out.
0:14:33 > 0:14:35Soon as I know, I'll ring you back, all right?
0:14:35 > 0:14:36- OK, thanks.- Thanks, bye.
0:14:46 > 0:14:48No, it won't be that one, I don't think.
0:14:51 > 0:14:57Well, I wrote to Tony Blair about 11 days...
0:14:57 > 0:15:04I suppose, it must have been, after Emily had been identified.
0:15:04 > 0:15:05And I wrote to him and said,
0:15:05 > 0:15:09"I utterly blame you and George Bush for the death of my daughter."
0:15:10 > 0:15:14I suppose, "yours sincerely, Sarah Jenkins."
0:15:14 > 0:15:16And heard nothing.
0:15:16 > 0:15:20And was incensed, and wrote again, and heard nothing.
0:15:20 > 0:15:24On the third time of writing, I put a stamped, addressed envelope in,
0:15:24 > 0:15:30because I felt he might be short of envelopes, really, and nothing.
0:15:30 > 0:15:33And then the next occasion I wrote and put a biro in
0:15:33 > 0:15:37and a stamped, addressed envelope, and heard nothing.
0:15:37 > 0:15:41And on the fourth occasion I wrote with a stamped, addressed envelope,
0:15:41 > 0:15:43another biro,
0:15:43 > 0:15:47and just scribbled on the back, "If on holiday, please forward."
0:15:50 > 0:15:51I've got it here.
0:15:51 > 0:15:54"I'm writing on behalf of the Prime Minister
0:15:54 > 0:15:57"to thank you for your further letter of the 13th of August.
0:15:57 > 0:16:00"I'm enclosing a copy of the Prime Minister's reply to your letter
0:16:00 > 0:16:01"of the 22nd of July,
0:16:01 > 0:16:04"which crosses with your letter of the 13th of August."
0:16:07 > 0:16:08"Dear Mrs Jenkins,
0:16:08 > 0:16:10"I'm desperately sorry to hear about
0:16:10 > 0:16:11"the death of Emily Rose, your daughter.
0:16:11 > 0:16:13"It is impossible for anyone
0:16:13 > 0:16:16"who has not lost a child in terrible circumstances
0:16:16 > 0:16:18"to understand the agony you must be suffering.
0:16:18 > 0:16:21"I don't think it would be sensible to go over the arguments
0:16:21 > 0:16:25"about the causes behind the explosions on the 7th of July.
0:16:25 > 0:16:28"I continue to believe, however, that the people to blame
0:16:28 > 0:16:30"for taking the life of your daughter and so many others
0:16:30 > 0:16:33"were those that planned and carried out the bombings
0:16:33 > 0:16:35"in London on that day.
0:16:35 > 0:16:37"I also recognise there is nothing I can say
0:16:37 > 0:16:40"which will help ease your pain or grief.
0:16:40 > 0:16:43"Yours sincerely, Tony Blair."
0:16:46 > 0:16:48Do you think he feels responsible?
0:16:50 > 0:16:53I don't know what he feels in the middle of the night.
0:16:55 > 0:16:58No, I expect, I expect Mr Blair doesn't feel responsible,
0:16:58 > 0:17:00wouldn't you?
0:17:26 > 0:17:32As the smoke cleared, I could see a little around the carriage.
0:17:34 > 0:17:39And I realised, there had just been a huge amount of devastation.
0:17:39 > 0:17:42The doors were blown off,
0:17:42 > 0:17:48there were great pieces of buckled and twisted metal lying around.
0:17:48 > 0:17:52All the windows were blown out.
0:17:52 > 0:17:56I realised my shoulders and hair were covered in glass.
0:17:59 > 0:18:01I couldn't believe I had survived,
0:18:01 > 0:18:04I think it's given me a huge respect
0:18:04 > 0:18:07for the resilience of the human body,
0:18:07 > 0:18:11that any of us could have survived that,
0:18:11 > 0:18:15when you saw what it had done to the carriage.
0:18:16 > 0:18:18The first thought that went through my mind
0:18:18 > 0:18:20was that I was at home in bed having a nightmare,
0:18:20 > 0:18:24you know, those nightmares you get when you're in that position,
0:18:24 > 0:18:27you either daren't move, or you can't move
0:18:27 > 0:18:30because something's frozen you in that space of time.
0:18:30 > 0:18:32I thought, "Oh, it's one of those,"
0:18:32 > 0:18:35then I thought, "I don't like this very much, go back to sleep,
0:18:35 > 0:18:37"and when I wake up it might be different."
0:18:37 > 0:18:40But, of course, when I came to again it wasn't different,
0:18:40 > 0:18:42I was, it was still dark.
0:18:42 > 0:18:46I could smell smoke,
0:18:46 > 0:18:49and then I woke up
0:18:49 > 0:18:53and found myself lying on a train track,
0:18:53 > 0:18:56um, beside a train,
0:18:56 > 0:18:59and I could see that we were at a platform,
0:18:59 > 0:19:03because I could see, "Aldgate" written on the other side.
0:19:03 > 0:19:05I could see the platform on the other side.
0:19:05 > 0:19:07So, there was a train, there was myself,
0:19:07 > 0:19:10train tracks, and then platform.
0:19:10 > 0:19:11I thought I had fallen out,
0:19:11 > 0:19:16and almost like, nobody had noticed, sort of thing.
0:19:16 > 0:19:19You know, "Trust me to lean on the door,"
0:19:19 > 0:19:22and, "What idiot would lean on the door?"
0:19:22 > 0:19:24"Something's bound to happen at some point."
0:19:24 > 0:19:29Um, and it didn't occur to me that there had been an explosion
0:19:29 > 0:19:31or anything like that.
0:19:31 > 0:19:33You know, it just wouldn't cross your mind.
0:19:33 > 0:19:37I could see this white thing, and I thought, "What's that?"
0:19:37 > 0:19:41And then I looked up and it was my new trainer,
0:19:41 > 0:19:44that, I'd only worn them that morning,
0:19:44 > 0:19:49and I know this sounds so, uh, not shallow, but...
0:19:49 > 0:19:54It was my new, sort of, Adidas, shell-toe trainers, white.
0:19:54 > 0:19:56You know, it was mid-summer, wasn't it,
0:19:56 > 0:20:01I'd just worn them for the first time that morning.
0:20:01 > 0:20:05And I could see it on the top of this, the metal,
0:20:05 > 0:20:07and, with, like, blood all over it,
0:20:07 > 0:20:10and I just thought, "That's my trainer,
0:20:10 > 0:20:13"what's that doing up there?"
0:20:13 > 0:20:19You know, um, again, not really realising that, you know...
0:20:19 > 0:20:23I know now what extent my injuries were, you know.
0:20:24 > 0:20:27But not realising that actually, my leg was up there,
0:20:27 > 0:20:30it was still attached to my leg.
0:20:40 > 0:20:43People were screaming out that they can't feel their legs,
0:20:43 > 0:20:48they can't feel their arms, do you know what I mean, they were in pain.
0:20:48 > 0:20:50It was so much...
0:20:52 > 0:20:55It was just chaos down there, it was just madness.
0:20:57 > 0:21:02There was limbs, you could see parts of peoples arms.
0:21:04 > 0:21:05Oh.
0:21:07 > 0:21:10Some people scared me cos they just looked so scary,
0:21:10 > 0:21:12I just felt that I couldn't even reach out to them
0:21:12 > 0:21:14and ask them if they were all right.
0:21:14 > 0:21:18And that hurts me, because I felt...
0:21:18 > 0:21:20Because I knew I needed help,
0:21:20 > 0:21:23and I just felt like I couldn't help them.
0:21:26 > 0:21:27Sometimes you can't even find
0:21:27 > 0:21:29the words to describe what went on down there.
0:21:29 > 0:21:33Everything was just black and white, and the only thing that was in...
0:21:33 > 0:21:36Oh, it was like a horror movie,
0:21:36 > 0:21:38the only thing that was in colour was the blood.
0:21:38 > 0:21:39It was just horrible.
0:21:41 > 0:21:43Just really horrible.
0:21:44 > 0:21:49I didn't check myself over because I knew I hadn't been injured,
0:21:49 > 0:21:53seriously injured, I hadn't been hit by anything or struck by anything.
0:21:53 > 0:21:57But James, the chap that was sitting opposite me, he stood up,
0:21:57 > 0:22:01and was getting very agitated, I think he was very concerned.
0:22:01 > 0:22:03Well, I thought I was going to die,
0:22:03 > 0:22:07and I was upset because I wanted to go to college still.
0:22:07 > 0:22:10Cos I was expected to go to college, still.
0:22:12 > 0:22:17And I was just worried and nervous and anxious,
0:22:17 > 0:22:20and not very happy.
0:22:20 > 0:22:23He mentioned to us that he was autistic
0:22:23 > 0:22:27and needed to get to his father, I think it was,
0:22:27 > 0:22:30and just, you know, wanted his father.
0:22:32 > 0:22:35So, we just had to keep reassuring him that we would be OK,
0:22:35 > 0:22:37and we would get out.
0:22:56 > 0:23:02Come on, Bibi, come on, Sally, you coming?
0:23:06 > 0:23:08This is Sally,
0:23:08 > 0:23:11she's named after Lee and Sam.
0:23:12 > 0:23:18And we had her in the October after it happened,
0:23:18 > 0:23:21so, she's named after Sam and Lee.
0:23:21 > 0:23:23So, Sally.
0:23:24 > 0:23:26They had been together for 14 years,
0:23:26 > 0:23:29they would have still been together now.
0:23:39 > 0:23:43Move all these, these are my next things to put into my files.
0:23:44 > 0:23:47Yeah, yeah, so...
0:23:48 > 0:23:52As you can see, I am a terrible hoarder.
0:23:52 > 0:23:56Loads and loads of bits and pieces.
0:23:56 > 0:23:59And...I don't know what else I've got in here.
0:23:59 > 0:24:05All these photographs, there's Lee. Dancing away. Not knowing what to do.
0:24:06 > 0:24:09He was like a dad before he got to be a dad,
0:24:09 > 0:24:10you know, like an older dad.
0:24:10 > 0:24:13- He danced like a dad?- Yeah. - Embarrassing dancing?
0:24:13 > 0:24:16Yeah, embarrassing dancing, yes. Terribly.
0:24:17 > 0:24:21There's Sammy, doing her dance and her jig.
0:24:22 > 0:24:26And this is all Lee's stuff that we've kept together.
0:24:28 > 0:24:31His coat...and some clothes.
0:24:31 > 0:24:34There's his, er...
0:24:37 > 0:24:38..beige trousers.
0:24:40 > 0:24:44And his shirt, that he used to wear.
0:24:47 > 0:24:50He just...isn't with us.
0:24:53 > 0:24:59So that I can touch any more, but all this stuff, I can touch.
0:24:59 > 0:25:01This is his, his things.
0:25:01 > 0:25:07It just means that I've got him. Here.
0:25:07 > 0:25:08I need...
0:25:10 > 0:25:13..to cling onto something that is him.
0:25:16 > 0:25:20I can't hold him any more, but I can hold his things.
0:25:23 > 0:25:26This was taken by a newspaper.
0:25:28 > 0:25:32I saw this the day after it happened, and didn't believe it.
0:25:32 > 0:25:35Didn't want to believe it.
0:25:35 > 0:25:37But that's my Lee.
0:25:39 > 0:25:41Taken...
0:25:43 > 0:25:46That's my Lee, trying to be resus-ed.
0:25:46 > 0:25:48TEARFULLY: That's my boy.
0:25:50 > 0:25:53My handsome man.
0:26:05 > 0:26:07RAPID BEEPING
0:26:27 > 0:26:29Nobody in my carriage was hurt,
0:26:29 > 0:26:32we weren't knocked over or anything like that.
0:26:32 > 0:26:35And then we noticed that smoke was coming in through the end door,
0:26:35 > 0:26:37of the carriage.
0:26:37 > 0:26:42So I got my warrant card out. I said, "I'm a police officer, let me through."
0:26:42 > 0:26:45So I left my carriage, walked through to the next carriage.
0:26:45 > 0:26:48And then it became apparent that something quite bad had happened,
0:26:48 > 0:26:53because people were coming towards me with blood on them,
0:26:53 > 0:26:56shaking, very slow, covered in dirt.
0:26:56 > 0:26:59I thought, "Oh, we've had an accident. We've hit something."
0:26:59 > 0:27:01I thought I was going into a train crash.
0:27:01 > 0:27:07That's when I remember this figure coming towards us,
0:27:07 > 0:27:09um, from that carriage.
0:27:11 > 0:27:16And then...I just remember these piercing blue eyes,
0:27:16 > 0:27:21'of this lady, and I just saw her, and all I kept saying to her was,'
0:27:21 > 0:27:24'"My name is Martine Wright, please tell my mum and dad I'm OK,
0:27:24 > 0:27:26'"my name's Martine Wright."
0:27:26 > 0:27:28'She said, "Help me, help me.'
0:27:28 > 0:27:31"I think my gut's hanging out," I think's what she said.
0:27:31 > 0:27:35And I said, "Yes, I'll help you, you're going to be all right.
0:27:35 > 0:27:38"you're going to be all right. Help's coming."
0:27:38 > 0:27:40And then she gave me something.
0:27:40 > 0:27:43She said, "Put that round your left leg."
0:27:45 > 0:27:48And again, it's one of those sort of...
0:27:48 > 0:27:51It's quite vivid, my memory of that is quite vivid.
0:27:51 > 0:27:56And I just kept thinking, this is out of a Western.
0:27:56 > 0:27:58This is out of a Western film.
0:27:58 > 0:28:03I remember being a kid and watching Westerns with John Wayne and stuff.
0:28:03 > 0:28:06Someone had been shot in the leg, and then you'd get a belt
0:28:06 > 0:28:11and tie it around, tourniquet round your leg to stop the bleeding.
0:28:11 > 0:28:16I just remember just pulling it so tight, so tight,
0:28:16 > 0:28:20and just... And not remembering the pain, I don't remember the pain.
0:28:25 > 0:28:26PHONE RINGS
0:28:26 > 0:28:28'Network operations manager.
0:28:28 > 0:28:30'Darren, I don't know what's gone on down there,
0:28:30 > 0:28:33'but people are coming up here with blackened faces,
0:28:33 > 0:28:35'all blood in their faces and they're very distressed.
0:28:35 > 0:28:38'So it definitely looks like an explosion, yeah?
0:28:38 > 0:28:41'Something's gone badly wrong down there.
0:28:41 > 0:28:45'We really don't know at the moment, we just had a loud bang.
0:28:45 > 0:28:49- 'People are coming with cuts, all covered in shit.- All right.
0:28:49 > 0:28:52'Is there any more casualties than just the one you know?
0:28:52 > 0:28:54'No, just walking wounded at the moment,
0:28:54 > 0:28:57'and the one we know that's under the train with legs missing.
0:28:57 > 0:28:59- 'All I know at the moment. - All right, OK.
0:28:59 > 0:29:01'We've still seen no ambulances here.
0:29:01 > 0:29:04'They're on their way, obviously, we've...
0:29:04 > 0:29:07'You need to make them aware it is a big incident, we want a few.
0:29:07 > 0:29:09- 'Yeah, OK.- Cheers.' - LINE CUTS OFF
0:29:16 > 0:29:21'I could see people in the carriage alongside,'
0:29:21 > 0:29:26and they were frantically trying to pull open the doors on their carriage.
0:29:26 > 0:29:29The people in the train beside us started smashing the windows,
0:29:29 > 0:29:31to try and help.
0:29:31 > 0:29:34People were passing over bottles of water.
0:29:34 > 0:29:36But obviously there wasn't a huge amount they could do.
0:29:36 > 0:29:38There was one or two people climbed over,
0:29:38 > 0:29:41I think they had first aid skills.
0:29:41 > 0:29:44We did start shouting across saying, "We need some help here,
0:29:44 > 0:29:48"first-aiders or people with medical knowledge, training.
0:29:48 > 0:29:50"We need some help here."
0:29:50 > 0:29:53I was aware that there was quite a lot of attention
0:29:53 > 0:29:56around the middle of the carriage.
0:29:56 > 0:30:00There was a guy who looked like he was wedged in a hole,
0:30:00 > 0:30:03trying very, very vigorously to get out.
0:30:03 > 0:30:07So we tried to help him get out, I suppose, without thinking,
0:30:07 > 0:30:09that's what you do.
0:30:10 > 0:30:12He wasn't well. Um...
0:30:12 > 0:30:17He wasn't well, I knew, because he wasn't moving.
0:30:17 > 0:30:20His limbs that I could see, his arms were not flailing around.
0:30:20 > 0:30:23But he had facial expression, um...
0:30:25 > 0:30:28As I walked towards him, again, I said who I was.
0:30:28 > 0:30:32I did ask him his name but he wasn't able to tell me a name.
0:30:32 > 0:30:35'He said nothing in a verbal sense,
0:30:35 > 0:30:38'but it was comforting to him to have somebody talking to him.
0:30:39 > 0:30:43'I climbed out of...beyond him to the far side of the train,'
0:30:43 > 0:30:46telling him I was going underneath the train surface to see why he was,
0:30:46 > 0:30:50could I release him from whatever was keeping him trapped in there.
0:30:51 > 0:30:55'And what I found was the lower half of Stan's body
0:30:55 > 0:30:58'was no longer attached to the top half.'
0:31:01 > 0:31:06And his torso had been severed in that way,
0:31:06 > 0:31:11by being blasted into the floor from his seated position,
0:31:11 > 0:31:15and obviously, it acted in a very sort of knife-like way.
0:31:15 > 0:31:19Very soon, and I don't think I can even give you
0:31:19 > 0:31:23a measure of 30 seconds, a minute and a half, I don't know,
0:31:23 > 0:31:28a very short space of time, um... his life ended.
0:31:28 > 0:31:32He stopped breathing, and as you do that,
0:31:32 > 0:31:35and the brain starts to shut down and your muscles relax,
0:31:35 > 0:31:40and I was able to lower Stan to the track.
0:31:42 > 0:31:46I did it for... partly selfish reasons
0:31:46 > 0:31:48for my own comfort, that I'd done what I could
0:31:48 > 0:31:51and he wasn't left in that foul position,
0:31:51 > 0:31:55and also, because, um...
0:31:55 > 0:31:58I just felt it would be, er,
0:31:58 > 0:32:01the right thing to do.
0:32:01 > 0:32:04I noted also that his eyes were still open,
0:32:04 > 0:32:08and I do remember actually closing his eyelids, because...
0:32:08 > 0:32:12For one real positive reason, it felt wrong to me, incongruous,
0:32:12 > 0:32:16to be still looking at a world that he was no longer part of.
0:32:17 > 0:32:19I said a short prayer for Stan,
0:32:19 > 0:32:23whether he was a man of a religious following or not,
0:32:23 > 0:32:27that I felt I wished him a safe journey to wherever it was
0:32:27 > 0:32:30that he believed he was going next,
0:32:30 > 0:32:32as I closed his eyes.
0:32:35 > 0:32:36A very...
0:32:38 > 0:32:41A very hard moment, very hard moment indeed.
0:32:54 > 0:32:57"Stan Brewster, 1953-2005."
0:32:58 > 0:33:01"Construction of this unique walkway was led by Stan Brewster,
0:33:01 > 0:33:04"chartered civil engineer of Derbyshire county council,
0:33:04 > 0:33:10"tragically lost his life in the London bombings of July 7th, 2005.
0:33:10 > 0:33:12"Stan took a special pride in this project,
0:33:12 > 0:33:17"and the walkway now stands as a permanent reminder of his professional life and work."
0:33:21 > 0:33:27Half site, half was built on, like, stilts. As you can see.
0:33:27 > 0:33:29And then this part...
0:33:29 > 0:33:33This part was, like, cantilevered off this wall.
0:33:36 > 0:33:39I couldn't, I couldn't build something like this!
0:33:42 > 0:33:45When you're young, I don't think you appreciate your dad, like,
0:33:45 > 0:33:48you know what I mean? Until you grow older.
0:33:48 > 0:33:51And that's what, that's what I kind of miss now.
0:33:51 > 0:33:53I kind of miss when you're that age and your dad says,
0:33:53 > 0:33:56"Let's go out and do something together," and it's like...
0:33:56 > 0:34:02at that age, you don't really feel like doing it with him, do you know what I mean?
0:34:02 > 0:34:04And that's what I kind of miss now.
0:34:04 > 0:34:06I'd love to go and play golf with him,
0:34:06 > 0:34:09love to go and have a pint with him, it's things like that...
0:34:11 > 0:34:13- Oh!- How you doing? - I'm all right, yeah.
0:34:13 > 0:34:16I think it's easier when you, like, I don't know.
0:34:16 > 0:34:19I think it's easier when you ask me questions.
0:34:19 > 0:34:23It's hard, it all messes up in your head, it's hard to get it out.
0:34:26 > 0:34:29'The day after we knew what had happened to Stan,'
0:34:29 > 0:34:34'Mark, he was just 17, and he'd got his driving test.'
0:34:34 > 0:34:37And I can remember sitting on the back lawn,
0:34:37 > 0:34:41and there was loads of people here, and I said,
0:34:41 > 0:34:44"Mark, I don't think you're up for this, to do your driving test."
0:34:44 > 0:34:46And he walked up the garden and said, "Mum, I'm going to do it
0:34:46 > 0:34:50"cos I want to do it to make you smile again."
0:34:50 > 0:34:54And off he went and did his driving test, and he came back and passed.
0:34:54 > 0:34:57He ran up the garden, crying.
0:34:57 > 0:35:00And I was crying as well, and he said, "I've done it, Mum."
0:35:00 > 0:35:03And I said to him, "Dad would have been proud of you."
0:35:03 > 0:35:05But he said, "I've done it to make you smile again.
0:35:05 > 0:35:07"I just want you to smile again."
0:35:09 > 0:35:13People always said, like, you've got to be strong for your mum
0:35:13 > 0:35:14and your sister and that.
0:35:19 > 0:35:22It's happened now. It's the way you deal with it, I think.
0:35:24 > 0:35:25You got to get on with life, like...
0:35:27 > 0:35:29There'd be no point living if you...
0:35:29 > 0:35:32You've just got to enjoy what you've got.
0:35:35 > 0:35:40I mean, my dad wouldn't want me to just curl up in a ball, no way.
0:35:40 > 0:35:42It'd be wrong to do that.
0:35:52 > 0:35:59PHONE RINGS
0:36:00 > 0:36:02- Hello, Pic.- Hello there.
0:36:02 > 0:36:05We heard a loud bang in the region of Russell Square
0:36:05 > 0:36:08on Russell Square westbound platform.
0:36:08 > 0:36:13Then our TT tripped. I've had the DSM go down at Russell Square.
0:36:13 > 0:36:17He could find no damage to the platform area but there's something,
0:36:17 > 0:36:20I can't get in contact with anyone at King's Cross
0:36:20 > 0:36:25but customers are detraining themselves from West 311
0:36:25 > 0:36:28- which is over the crossover just west of King's Cross.- Yeah.
0:36:28 > 0:36:32They're walking east and detraining themselves onto the westbound platform.
0:36:32 > 0:36:34All right, look after whatever you can
0:36:34 > 0:36:37and I'm going to get a decision now on what we're going to do.
0:36:37 > 0:36:39All right, I'll come back to you, Gary.
0:36:39 > 0:36:42We need ambulances and water to Russell... To King's Cross.
0:36:42 > 0:36:44- I understand what you're saying. - And Russell Square.
0:36:44 > 0:36:46Yeah, we'll get what we can to you.
0:36:46 > 0:36:48PHONE HANGS UP
0:36:49 > 0:36:53At Russell Square, it's one of the deepest parts of the Piccadilly Line
0:36:53 > 0:36:56and it's quite a way down.
0:36:56 > 0:36:58I believe there's about 179 steps
0:36:58 > 0:37:01on the emergency stairs at Russell Square.
0:37:02 > 0:37:06I went down to have a look to see if there was anything untoward.
0:37:07 > 0:37:13It's a single-track tunnel and it's very dusty, it's quite humid
0:37:13 > 0:37:16and it's very compact.
0:37:16 > 0:37:19Once the train's in there and moving,
0:37:19 > 0:37:21there's not no space for anything else.
0:37:25 > 0:37:27Throughout this,
0:37:27 > 0:37:33you read the stories of people who acted in a heroic way that day,
0:37:33 > 0:37:36but I can't count myself amongst them
0:37:36 > 0:37:38because the only thought in my mind
0:37:38 > 0:37:43was to get off that train and get home to my family.
0:37:44 > 0:37:50My daughter would have been...six... five-and-a-half or six years old
0:37:50 > 0:37:53so I certainly didn't, you know,
0:37:53 > 0:37:58I didn't want to let my daughter grow up without a father
0:37:58 > 0:38:02so my only, my only aim was to get off that train
0:38:02 > 0:38:04and get home safely to my family.
0:38:04 > 0:38:09All of a sudden I heard this very commanding voice that said...
0:38:11 > 0:38:17The driver said that once he's checked that the power is off,
0:38:17 > 0:38:21I want all those who can to walk to the front of the carriage.
0:38:21 > 0:38:23There wasn't many of us...
0:38:25 > 0:38:32that walked, that, you know... listened to the train driver
0:38:32 > 0:38:36or that was able to leave the...the carriage.
0:38:36 > 0:38:40Everybody was quite polite, surprisingly.
0:38:40 > 0:38:42So there was a line of people in front of me,
0:38:42 > 0:38:44just people walking quite slowly in front of me
0:38:44 > 0:38:46and I had my hand on the person in front of me
0:38:46 > 0:38:49because I was bleeding quite a lot from my head
0:38:49 > 0:38:51and I was worried about fainting
0:38:51 > 0:38:53and we didn't know if the tracks were going to be live
0:38:53 > 0:38:56so I didn't want to, I didn't want to fall over.
0:38:56 > 0:39:00There was a guy that had been screaming for some considerable time
0:39:00 > 0:39:04and he was immediately behind me, but he kept falling over,
0:39:04 > 0:39:07so I turned around and said to this guy,
0:39:07 > 0:39:11"Hold onto the back of my jacket, when you're going to fall,"
0:39:11 > 0:39:14which he did, and occasionally...
0:39:14 > 0:39:18It took about 10, 12 minutes to walk to Russell Square,
0:39:18 > 0:39:21he fell and the guy behind him picked him up
0:39:21 > 0:39:24and he held the back of my coat again.
0:39:24 > 0:39:26And we walked towards Russell Square.
0:39:26 > 0:39:28When I was walking round checking the track,
0:39:28 > 0:39:33I noticed a light in the westbound tunnel
0:39:33 > 0:39:35by the east end of the platform
0:39:35 > 0:39:38and the light got closer and closer
0:39:38 > 0:39:41and whilst this was happening, I realised there was something wrong.
0:39:41 > 0:39:45When the light got to me,
0:39:45 > 0:39:49it was the driver of train 311
0:39:49 > 0:39:55with about 12 to 15 seriously, some seriously injured customers
0:39:55 > 0:39:59bleeding very heavily, very traumatised.
0:39:59 > 0:40:02We helped them up onto the platform.
0:40:03 > 0:40:05I asked the driver, "What's happened?"
0:40:05 > 0:40:07And he said, "I don't know,
0:40:07 > 0:40:09"but there's people down there that need help."
0:40:11 > 0:40:15And after that, I jumped down onto the track
0:40:15 > 0:40:18and made my way into the tunnel towards the train.
0:40:27 > 0:40:32MUEZZIN CALL TO PRAYER
0:43:55 > 0:43:57ALARM BEEPING
0:44:08 > 0:44:13We've had reports of explosions at Edgware Road, Liverpool Street.
0:44:13 > 0:44:15I've just spoken to the Pic.
0:44:15 > 0:44:19- They believe they've had an explosion at Russell Square.- Right.
0:44:19 > 0:44:21We're trying to establish what all lines have got
0:44:21 > 0:44:23and what they're doing as we speak.
0:44:23 > 0:44:26That's all I've got, but it looks like all lines are having problems
0:44:26 > 0:44:30- and people are self-detraining.- Three separate incidents?- Three, yeah.
0:44:30 > 0:44:34- Code Amber?- Code Amber?- Yeah. - Hold on one second.
0:44:37 > 0:44:39Code Amber the whole network?
0:44:39 > 0:44:42Code Amber the whole network. We're going to stop the whole network.
0:44:42 > 0:44:46- All right, darling.- Code Amber, get them into stations and stand by?
0:44:46 > 0:44:50- Yeah, that's all we're going to do. - OK.- All right, mate. Cheers.- Bye.
0:44:59 > 0:45:04I could see people coming out of Edgware road with bandages on,
0:45:04 > 0:45:06black faces, you know, soot, blood,
0:45:06 > 0:45:10there was a guy at the ticket barriers, some underground staff,
0:45:10 > 0:45:13and I said, "Are there many more people down there?"
0:45:13 > 0:45:15And he said, "Oh, yeah, loads. The train was full."
0:45:15 > 0:45:17So I said, "Well...
0:45:18 > 0:45:20"What are we talking about?"
0:45:20 > 0:45:22He said, "There's quite a few dead down there."
0:45:22 > 0:45:25And I thought, "Right, OK. Are you certain about that?"
0:45:25 > 0:45:27"Yeah, yeah, there's quite a few dead."
0:45:27 > 0:45:30And I thought, "Right, OK, well,
0:45:30 > 0:45:33"I need to get down there now and find out what is going on."
0:45:37 > 0:45:39So I went through the barriers
0:45:39 > 0:45:43and I was trying to use my radio all the time and it just,
0:45:43 > 0:45:46when you try and transmit, and it's not communicating,
0:45:46 > 0:45:49you just get this beeping noise, like a "beeeep,"
0:45:49 > 0:45:52and that's all I was getting all the time I was trying to use this radio
0:45:52 > 0:45:54and then I was trying to use my mobile phone.
0:45:54 > 0:45:57I was getting nothing on that and I'm thinking,
0:45:57 > 0:46:00"I'm not really going to be able to do too much on my own down here,"
0:46:00 > 0:46:04you know, I've got one bandage with me and that's all I had, really.
0:46:05 > 0:46:09But the further I got down, the less able I was to turn around.
0:46:11 > 0:46:14So I just went further down the track
0:46:14 > 0:46:17and eventually got to the carriage.
0:46:17 > 0:46:19Everything was unrecognisable,
0:46:19 > 0:46:24you know, the inside of the carriage, the seats all seemed to be gone,
0:46:24 > 0:46:26you know, the post, the glass, everything was gone.
0:46:26 > 0:46:33It was just like a tube with blood and twisted metal just thrown in,
0:46:33 > 0:46:37thrown on the ceiling, thrown up the walls, just everywhere,
0:46:37 > 0:46:40it was everywhere, and you just couldn't make out what had gone on.
0:46:40 > 0:46:45And a guy was laying there on his back, just looking up at the ceiling,
0:46:45 > 0:46:49and I looked at him and I spoke to him and I said, "Are you all right?"
0:46:49 > 0:46:53Obviously a bit, "Are you all right?" "No, I'm not all right."
0:46:53 > 0:46:59And he kind of said something along the lines of, "What's happened?"
0:46:59 > 0:47:00You know, "What's happened?"
0:47:00 > 0:47:04Right, you know, I thought, "Well, if he doesn't know, I don't know."
0:47:04 > 0:47:06Erm...
0:47:07 > 0:47:12So I just said, "Can you walk?" And he said, "No, I can't move."
0:47:12 > 0:47:15So I got down and started to deal with him, really.
0:47:17 > 0:47:20PHONE RINGS
0:47:21 > 0:47:24- Duty office manager.- Yeah, hello there, it's Lee Osbourne in the NTC.
0:47:24 > 0:47:26Hello there. I've been trying to get hold of you.
0:47:26 > 0:47:29We've heard desperate shouts from both ends
0:47:29 > 0:47:32at Aldgate and Praed Street and Edgware Road.
0:47:32 > 0:47:35They're still desperately waiting for emergency services.
0:47:35 > 0:47:36We've got two major incidents.
0:47:36 > 0:47:40The emergency services have declared they're on their way down there.
0:47:40 > 0:47:43- We're issuing a systemwide Code Amber.- Right...
0:47:45 > 0:47:49My main concern were the ones, the people that were alive,
0:47:49 > 0:47:53to try and pacify them, speak to them
0:47:53 > 0:47:56and just let them know that we were there to help
0:47:56 > 0:47:57and help was on its way
0:47:57 > 0:48:00and hopefully we'd get them out of there as soon as we could.
0:48:00 > 0:48:06Sometimes I felt as if my mind was just separating out from my body.
0:48:07 > 0:48:10As if I was coming apart, and then I would just have to focus
0:48:10 > 0:48:16and think, "No, I've got to just hold on, I've got to stay conscious
0:48:16 > 0:48:19"and just hold on. They'll come. They'll rescue us."
0:48:20 > 0:48:24It was a long period of just waiting.
0:48:37 > 0:48:40This is the bedroom that James used to sleep in.
0:48:40 > 0:48:44Where that bed is now, there was a bunk bed,
0:48:44 > 0:48:47but it had a desk.
0:48:47 > 0:48:51It was bought for him while he was at school doing his homework
0:48:51 > 0:48:55so he had the desk there and got up into the bunk bed.
0:48:55 > 0:48:58Yes, so nothing, not a great deal has changed,
0:48:58 > 0:49:02but there's none of his personal stuff in here.
0:49:02 > 0:49:05So what did you do with James's personal stuff?
0:49:05 > 0:49:11His letters and things, I shredded them. I destroyed them, basically.
0:49:11 > 0:49:14I... Other people may find that a strange thing to do
0:49:14 > 0:49:16but I just thought it was important.
0:49:16 > 0:49:20I just bought that we had no right to pry into certain things.
0:49:20 > 0:49:23It just didn't seem the right thing to do, to me, and it still doesn't.
0:49:23 > 0:49:25I still think that it wouldn't have...
0:49:25 > 0:49:27I mean, I obviously had to look through them,
0:49:27 > 0:49:29but I...no, I just couldn't.
0:49:29 > 0:49:31I couldn't just keep them. It didn't...
0:49:31 > 0:49:34We had enough things to remember, photographs and that sort of thing,
0:49:34 > 0:49:38it just didn't seem to be the right thing to do.
0:49:38 > 0:49:41- That was taken about...- It was Dan. - Yeah, four days before...
0:49:41 > 0:49:44- It wasn't, it was two days, it was Monday evening.- That was in Prague.
0:49:44 > 0:49:48- The week he was killed. - He was in Prague, with his friends.
0:49:48 > 0:49:52When it happened, it kind of, you wait for the phone to ring,
0:49:52 > 0:49:55you're kind of hoping and praying
0:49:55 > 0:49:58and on the... I think it was the Saturday,
0:49:58 > 0:50:02I'd come here, to Mum and Dad's on the Friday evening
0:50:02 > 0:50:05and they just needed to do something
0:50:05 > 0:50:09so we did, we made the posters and we went to King's Cross and stuff,
0:50:09 > 0:50:12putting up the posters and seeing the other people that were up there
0:50:12 > 0:50:15and thinking, "I can't believe that I'm doing this.
0:50:15 > 0:50:18"This is... I don't, why is this me?
0:50:18 > 0:50:20"Why am I having to do this?
0:50:20 > 0:50:22"Why am I having to put pictures of my brother up?"
0:50:22 > 0:50:25And for other people to be able to walk past and go,
0:50:25 > 0:50:27"God, that's really awful." I want to be one of them.
0:50:27 > 0:50:29I want to be one of those people walking past
0:50:29 > 0:50:32going, "That's really awful, that's really sad,"
0:50:32 > 0:50:35and be able to empathise from afar. I don't want to be embroiled in this.
0:50:35 > 0:50:37I want my life back. Please give me my life back.
0:50:37 > 0:50:40Please let me know, and I remember standing on the Mile End Road
0:50:40 > 0:50:43and just saying, "Just let it stop.
0:50:43 > 0:50:45"Please let everything stop till I know."
0:50:50 > 0:50:51But, yeah.
0:50:56 > 0:50:58It's OK.
0:51:18 > 0:51:21Well, I'm just literally stuck in another traffic jam
0:51:21 > 0:51:26outside King's Cross. What I did see was at least half a dozen people
0:51:26 > 0:51:31who have blackened faces and in some cases I saw head wounds,
0:51:31 > 0:51:35in fact, I've just seen one young man who was being treated
0:51:35 > 0:51:38had a huge bandage put around his head.
0:51:38 > 0:51:41I remembered one thing hitting me that makes you think,
0:51:41 > 0:51:45"What am I doing?" is that you're heading toward something
0:51:45 > 0:51:49that so many people are trying to get away from,
0:51:49 > 0:51:52so you're fighting through the crowds of hundreds
0:51:52 > 0:51:54to get to the point that they're trying to leave.
0:51:54 > 0:51:56As soon as I got out of the ambulance,
0:51:56 > 0:52:00I made the decision that I'd go downstairs to see what was going on.
0:52:00 > 0:52:04As you're going down, you could start to get a spell of burning
0:52:04 > 0:52:08and the air has got, like, a taste to it, almost,
0:52:08 > 0:52:10of burnt plastic and things
0:52:10 > 0:52:14and then you start getting close to the platform
0:52:14 > 0:52:16and then it sort of hits you that this is actually quite real.
0:52:16 > 0:52:21The smoke you can now see billowing down the dark track,
0:52:21 > 0:52:24and it's a black hole. You're looking down a black hole
0:52:24 > 0:52:27and you've just got these little miners' lamps, almost
0:52:27 > 0:52:31and you can then hear screaming and shouting
0:52:31 > 0:52:34and the hairs on the back of your neck sort of stand on end.
0:52:34 > 0:52:38Although we're ambulance people, paramedics or whatever,
0:52:38 > 0:52:39we're still human, and I just...
0:52:39 > 0:52:42You know, the impulse is to run away with everybody else.
0:52:42 > 0:52:44I didn't particularly want to go down that train.
0:52:44 > 0:52:48I didn't particularly want to see the things that I saw
0:52:48 > 0:52:50or deal with the things I dealt with.
0:52:50 > 0:52:53And then the emergency services and the paramedics,
0:52:53 > 0:52:56they just arrived like a wave coming through the train.
0:52:56 > 0:52:59Fireman, policemen, ambulance, everywhere,
0:52:59 > 0:53:00you know, literally swamped.
0:53:00 > 0:53:05I was relieved to see them, but also very angry.
0:53:05 > 0:53:07I'd been there for quite an amount of time.
0:53:07 > 0:53:10I didn't know it was 40 minutes at the time,
0:53:10 > 0:53:12but it seemed like an eternity I'd been there.
0:53:12 > 0:53:16And they brought in these emergency lights
0:53:16 > 0:53:19and I thought I'd been leaning on a bundle of rags
0:53:19 > 0:53:22or, you know, a bag or something like that
0:53:22 > 0:53:24and I looked over and it was...
0:53:24 > 0:53:29It was like a big piece of someone, with a bone sticking out of it.
0:53:29 > 0:53:33And I looked at the sleeve of my shirt, cos everything was now light
0:53:33 > 0:53:36and it was just red with blood,
0:53:36 > 0:53:40from above the elbow to the bottom.
0:53:40 > 0:53:44When the paramedics eventually did come through
0:53:44 > 0:53:47and I decided now was the time for me to leave
0:53:47 > 0:53:49because the experts were here
0:53:49 > 0:53:52and I was only going to get in their way,
0:53:52 > 0:53:54erm, I walked back through the empty train...
0:53:54 > 0:53:58and it was empty cos everyone else had left.
0:53:58 > 0:54:00And that's when I started to shake.
0:54:00 > 0:54:03You know, that's when the shock really hit me.
0:54:03 > 0:54:07I had to hold on to the handrails to get myself out of the train
0:54:07 > 0:54:10because I was shaking so much.
0:54:11 > 0:54:13'It's chaos everywhere.
0:54:13 > 0:54:16'I've just come past Russell Square, they've closed it off.'
0:54:16 > 0:54:19- 'Say again. You just came past where?'- 'Russell Square Station.'
0:54:19 > 0:54:23'They've closed it all off. D'you think it's a major disaster?'
0:54:23 > 0:54:24'Well, let's not speculate...'
0:54:24 > 0:54:28'Scotland Yard says that at approximately 8.50 this morning,
0:54:28 > 0:54:32'they were called to Aldgate, London Transport Station,
0:54:32 > 0:54:34'to assist the City of London Police and...'
0:54:34 > 0:54:40'There's no sense that this is in any way terrorist-related.
0:54:40 > 0:54:43'There's no signs of anyone imagining that there might be
0:54:43 > 0:54:47'any further danger in this area.'
0:54:48 > 0:54:51I took a cup of tea in to watch the television.
0:54:51 > 0:54:54I was watching the news, news programmes,
0:54:54 > 0:54:58and then saw this thing unfolding and...
0:54:59 > 0:55:01..of course, nobody knew what it was,
0:55:01 > 0:55:04it was a power surge, no suggestion it was terrorism.
0:55:04 > 0:55:08And Anat was on the phone to me from a mobile,
0:55:08 > 0:55:11telling me the problems she was having on the journey
0:55:11 > 0:55:15and I was saying, "Well, this has happened and this has happened."
0:55:15 > 0:55:18Yeah, we were keeping in touch, and she got to Euston Station
0:55:18 > 0:55:21and said, "Oh, the trains have stopped."
0:55:21 > 0:55:26She said, "I'm outside Euston." And she said, "There's a great crowd.
0:55:26 > 0:55:27"You know...
0:55:27 > 0:55:30"I need to get a bus, what am I going to do?"
0:55:31 > 0:55:36And to my eternal regret, I said, "Well, be smart. Walk back.
0:55:37 > 0:55:40"Get on the stop before Euston."
0:55:40 > 0:55:44So she did that and then eventually phoned back and said,
0:55:44 > 0:55:48"Oh, that worked." She said, "I've got a seat on a number 30."
0:55:51 > 0:55:55I learned by listening to the radio that the tubes had come to a halt
0:55:55 > 0:55:58and that a lot of people were getting off the tubes,
0:55:58 > 0:55:59getting onto buses
0:55:59 > 0:56:03and the traffic was getting really heavy at that time.
0:56:03 > 0:56:06We started work and one of the employers come down called Roger,
0:56:06 > 0:56:08saw the laughter and said,
0:56:08 > 0:56:13"Pointless making sandwiches today, the tube lines have all broken down.
0:56:13 > 0:56:15"No-one can get in at the moment."
0:56:15 > 0:56:18There were so many people at the bus stop,
0:56:18 > 0:56:21so I was wondering what happened.
0:56:21 > 0:56:24I thought it was just a busy day.
0:56:24 > 0:56:26I entered Tavistock Square,
0:56:26 > 0:56:34and drove on the side opposite to BMA House, around the square.
0:56:34 > 0:56:38In the queue of traffic coming down was a bus.
0:56:38 > 0:56:40And we carried on talking,
0:56:40 > 0:56:43she told me about the bus being diverted down
0:56:43 > 0:56:45towards Tavistock Square,
0:56:45 > 0:56:49and because I was involved in a local amenity group,
0:56:49 > 0:56:51involved with their newsletter,
0:56:51 > 0:56:55Anat said, "Well, whatever's happening,
0:56:55 > 0:56:59"this should make something for your newsletter."
0:56:59 > 0:57:01And as soon as she said, "newsletter,"
0:57:01 > 0:57:07I heard terrible screams in the background.
0:57:07 > 0:57:09Nothing from Annette.
0:57:09 > 0:57:10Not an "Oh, my God,"
0:57:10 > 0:57:14not a breath, nothing at all, and then her phone went dead.
0:57:17 > 0:57:19And I knew then that...
0:57:21 > 0:57:23..something terrible had happened.
0:57:23 > 0:57:26I knew that, you know, if she'd had any possibility
0:57:26 > 0:57:29of communicating with me, she would have done.
0:57:31 > 0:57:34If I hadn't have been so damn smart and said to her,
0:57:34 > 0:57:37"Oh, beat the queues," you know.
0:57:37 > 0:57:42But to actually have directed her onto that bus...
0:57:53 > 0:57:58I heard what sounded like a firecracker,
0:57:58 > 0:58:00that went right across from left to right,
0:58:00 > 0:58:05and the next thing I remember was lots of noises
0:58:05 > 0:58:08and I couldn't open my eyes.
0:58:08 > 0:58:12The ceiling of the bus, erm...
0:58:14 > 0:58:17..crashed onto my shoulder.
0:58:17 > 0:58:21And it must have pushed me down and maybe instinctively
0:58:21 > 0:58:24I held my hands in front of my eyes,
0:58:24 > 0:58:30which was lucky because I had some bad wounds on my left hand.
0:58:30 > 0:58:35I just heard the sound, and after the sound I didn't know where I was.
0:58:35 > 0:58:37I was on the floor.
0:58:37 > 0:58:39I saw some people are dead,
0:58:39 > 0:58:43some people with blood coming from their eyes,
0:58:43 > 0:58:45some people with blood coming from their heads.
0:58:45 > 0:58:49People don't normally get that close to large explosions
0:58:49 > 0:58:52and don't know what they look like.
0:58:52 > 0:58:56It was loud, but it was a black centre with smoke around it,
0:58:56 > 0:58:59and everything seemed to shoot out of it,
0:58:59 > 0:59:02including, as I fell down to the seat,
0:59:02 > 0:59:05a person that was flying up in the air
0:59:05 > 0:59:09with a complete look of shock and surprise on her face.
0:59:09 > 0:59:16In that second and a half, so much goes through your mind
0:59:16 > 0:59:20and goes in and is trapped there...this is a bomb,
0:59:20 > 0:59:24I'm too close, I could be killed in the next instant.
0:59:25 > 0:59:27And people have been injured.
0:59:27 > 0:59:30Everything sort of goes into your mind and stays there.
0:59:36 > 0:59:41I just want to say something about Neetu.
0:59:43 > 0:59:45- OK.- Shall I start it?
0:59:45 > 0:59:47- Yeah.- Yeah.
0:59:47 > 0:59:52"Neetu was my youngest daughter, who was killed on 7th of July,
0:59:52 > 0:59:57"year 2005, due to a bus explosion in London.
0:59:57 > 1:00:00"I always see Neetu, smiling and laughing,
1:00:00 > 1:00:03"and never saw any disappointment on her face.
1:00:03 > 1:00:07"Neetu was a very special gift from God.
1:00:07 > 1:00:12"As a child, she loved school very much. She was very happy."
1:00:25 > 1:00:31Our friend Milan is an officer. He brought to us Neetu's purse.
1:00:33 > 1:00:38This item in my hand is her London Transport travel card,
1:00:38 > 1:00:42because she was travelling from Hendon Central
1:00:42 > 1:00:44to Old Street every day.
1:00:44 > 1:00:49If she's running short of money,
1:00:49 > 1:00:52she can get money from any till machine.
1:00:52 > 1:00:55And if she wants to borrow a book from the library,
1:00:55 > 1:00:58she also have a library card here.
1:00:58 > 1:01:01She will go, on her way back home,
1:01:01 > 1:01:04she will go to the library and get a book.
1:01:06 > 1:01:09The damage was the pockets. See the pockets?
1:01:09 > 1:01:12These are all damaged because of the explosion here.
1:01:12 > 1:01:14And the outside
1:01:14 > 1:01:19is all damaged in here.
1:01:19 > 1:01:23Detective Sergeant arranged to clean it when he brought it to us.
1:01:23 > 1:01:27He said it was all filled with blood.
1:01:27 > 1:01:32Everywhere was blood, but he clean it and brought it to us,
1:01:32 > 1:01:36because it is her personal possession, you know.
1:01:36 > 1:01:38So I'm keeping it here.
1:01:38 > 1:01:42The only thing was missing was her mobile telephone.
1:01:43 > 1:01:47When I was ringing her on 7th of July,
1:01:47 > 1:01:51I only used to get the message, "Neetu speaking.
1:01:51 > 1:01:54"I'll come back to you as soon as possible."
1:01:54 > 1:01:59We visited all hospital around London. There were 12 hospitals.
1:01:59 > 1:02:03No, we couldn't get any clue.
1:02:03 > 1:02:09After waiting seven days and nights, desperately and anxiously,
1:02:09 > 1:02:14there came the day of 14th July, when two detective officers
1:02:14 > 1:02:17gave us this heartbreaking news
1:02:17 > 1:02:22that Neetu's body has been positively identified.
1:02:23 > 1:02:25What can I say now?
1:02:39 > 1:02:42I...I remember somebody saying that they were trying
1:02:42 > 1:02:45to deal with people in order of urgency.
1:02:45 > 1:02:48A couple of chaps came over to me,
1:02:48 > 1:02:52and one of them shone his torch in my face.
1:02:52 > 1:02:55And I remember him saying, you know, "This one's gone."
1:02:55 > 1:03:00Erm, and then they sort of moved on, and I just...you know,
1:03:00 > 1:03:04it's almost sort of like anger, outrage really.
1:03:04 > 1:03:08You know...cos I wanted to attract their attention,
1:03:08 > 1:03:12and I couldn't get the energy to do it then, it was so difficult
1:03:12 > 1:03:15to breathe and difficult to move and I think that's when I really
1:03:15 > 1:03:22got the sort of adrenaline rush or whatever that I needed to get up.
1:03:22 > 1:03:24Opposite where the bomb went off,
1:03:24 > 1:03:28there were two quite severely injured people with lower leg,
1:03:28 > 1:03:30traumatic lower leg amputations.
1:03:30 > 1:03:35She was blown sort of sideways, with her legs, what was left of her legs
1:03:35 > 1:03:39wrapped round the handrail, I think, outside the train as well.
1:03:39 > 1:03:44Martine, I don't think, really knew the extent of her injuries.
1:03:44 > 1:03:45I'd like to think she didn't.
1:03:45 > 1:03:49So we had to unwrap her legs without any anaesthetic.
1:03:49 > 1:03:50I was at the head end,
1:03:50 > 1:03:55sort of supporting her shoulders as we got onto the stretcher.
1:03:55 > 1:03:59And I'll never forget it. She just looked right up into my eyes
1:03:59 > 1:04:01and the torch I had was shining in her face
1:04:01 > 1:04:04so her whole face was illuminated, looked right into my eyes,
1:04:04 > 1:04:08let out this horrendous scream and just reached up
1:04:08 > 1:04:12and dug her nails into my arms and scratched all the way down.
1:04:12 > 1:04:15Because I'm sure she was in so much pain,
1:04:15 > 1:04:18she just needed to have some sort of release.
1:04:18 > 1:04:21I think that was what that was about, but it was...
1:04:21 > 1:04:23..it was quite a horrendous thing to see.
1:04:23 > 1:04:26I'd never heard a scream like that before.
1:04:26 > 1:04:28No, don't remember...
1:04:29 > 1:04:32..anything, really, erm,
1:04:32 > 1:04:35until I woke up in hospital,
1:04:35 > 1:04:39which I think was about ten days later or nine days later.
1:04:39 > 1:04:45I can remember that as vividly now as I could an hour after the incident.
1:04:45 > 1:04:48It's...I'll never forget it.
1:04:48 > 1:04:51There was an element of sort of handing myself over to these guys.
1:04:51 > 1:04:53They were helping me and I had,
1:04:53 > 1:04:57I could sort of take a bit of a step back and let them get on with it.
1:04:57 > 1:04:59People were in their pants and socks,
1:04:59 > 1:05:04and I remember thinking, "Where have their clothes gone?" Erm...
1:05:05 > 1:05:07..you know, I hadn't been...
1:05:07 > 1:05:11I hadn't witnessed blast injuries before, it's not something I'd seen.
1:05:11 > 1:05:16And, er, people's clothes literally get blown off them.
1:05:16 > 1:05:20By all accounts, I had my underpants on, one shoe and a sock,
1:05:20 > 1:05:21and that was it.
1:05:21 > 1:05:25I remember going up the stairs, one of them saying,
1:05:25 > 1:05:28complaining how, "Why do we always get the heavy one?"
1:05:28 > 1:05:31And I remember, even though I was completely out of it thinking,
1:05:31 > 1:05:35"This guy's...time for somebody to crack a joke
1:05:35 > 1:05:36"in this sort of situation."
1:05:38 > 1:05:42After a while, I just sat down on the floor by the ticket machines
1:05:42 > 1:05:46and...because I didn't know what to do,
1:05:46 > 1:05:53and then I saw people being brought out of the tunnel.
1:05:53 > 1:05:55I was near the lifts,
1:05:56 > 1:06:00and what I was seeing coming out of the lifts just broke me.
1:06:00 > 1:06:03It's just something you never forget.
1:06:03 > 1:06:07I mean, you don't expect to get out of a lift in a ticket hall
1:06:07 > 1:06:13of a London Underground station and see what would be considered
1:06:13 > 1:06:17a battlefield hospital, working on people,
1:06:17 > 1:06:20holding arms and legs up in the air
1:06:20 > 1:06:24and saline applications going on.
1:06:24 > 1:06:28The fact that they'd come out of the carriage that I was in
1:06:28 > 1:06:31made it that much worse.
1:06:31 > 1:06:34So I thought, "I've had enough, I'm off."
1:07:16 > 1:07:18I remember one particular case.
1:07:19 > 1:07:23She was lying right in front of the BMA House,
1:07:23 > 1:07:26and she would look at me straight,
1:07:26 > 1:07:27the eye contact we'll make,
1:07:27 > 1:07:30I will go and sit by her side, hold her hand,
1:07:30 > 1:07:34put my hand on her forehead, and she wanted to say something.
1:07:34 > 1:07:35Well, she could not say.
1:07:39 > 1:07:45She might have just had an injury which could have been dealt with.
1:07:45 > 1:07:50But, without the equipment, you can't do anything, you see.
1:07:50 > 1:07:52So it was very frustrating.
1:07:55 > 1:07:57Azuma, when was the last time you two were...?
1:07:57 > 1:07:59The night before.
1:07:59 > 1:08:01Erm, she come home from work and me and my brother
1:08:01 > 1:08:04sat with her in the front room and she cooked,
1:08:04 > 1:08:08and we sat and laughed and giggled and teased her as always.
1:08:08 > 1:08:11And I remember she asked me to make her some tea and I was like, "Oh!
1:08:11 > 1:08:14"You're just sending me around like your servant."
1:08:14 > 1:08:17And she came in the kitchen and really cuddled me,
1:08:17 > 1:08:21and then the next day I was supposed to go to my auntie's house,
1:08:21 > 1:08:23so I couldn't find my keys that night,
1:08:23 > 1:08:25so she stayed up with me looking for my keys.
1:08:25 > 1:08:27I ended up being like, "Go to bed.
1:08:27 > 1:08:31"You've got to get up at what time? It's now, like, just past 12."
1:08:31 > 1:08:34And so, I just said to her, "I'll see you tomorrow."
1:08:34 > 1:08:35And she was like, "OK,"
1:08:35 > 1:08:39and she closed my bedroom door, and that was the last time I saw her.
1:08:41 > 1:08:45Seven years almost down the line, I still have dreams of her.
1:08:46 > 1:08:51I dream of her quite regularly. Those kind of stuff won't go away.
1:08:58 > 1:09:01Just before she died, when I'd finished my GCSEs,
1:09:01 > 1:09:04I had my leavers' prom, and I made her take the day off,
1:09:04 > 1:09:06and she came and helped me get ready.
1:09:06 > 1:09:07We went together to buy my dress.
1:09:09 > 1:09:12So, yeah, I kind of had all that with her,
1:09:12 > 1:09:14so we were really, really close.
1:09:14 > 1:09:17I think that is what is so painful for me now.
1:09:17 > 1:09:19Cos my friends are now getting close to their mums,
1:09:19 > 1:09:21but my mum's not here anymore.
1:09:27 > 1:09:30And I'm not going to have all that stuff with her.
1:09:30 > 1:09:32She's not going to be there when I get married
1:09:32 > 1:09:34or when I have my own kids.
1:09:37 > 1:09:39And I think that's a bit painful.
1:09:39 > 1:09:42And that's why I don't think I'll ever get over it,
1:09:42 > 1:09:44cos there'll always be things where I feel like
1:09:44 > 1:09:47I need her there and she's missing.
1:09:49 > 1:09:53Yeah, that's seven years down the line.
1:09:53 > 1:09:55It doesn't go away.
1:10:03 > 1:10:05SIRENS BLARING
1:10:08 > 1:10:12We was met by a policeman who had shut the road off at the time.
1:10:13 > 1:10:15He asked me what am I going to,
1:10:15 > 1:10:18and cos I had no knowledge of the other incidents going on,
1:10:18 > 1:10:20I thought it was a very strange question,
1:10:20 > 1:10:24so I just said to him, "The bus," which was in front of me then.
1:10:24 > 1:10:26And he said to me, "Right, OK."
1:10:26 > 1:10:31He said, "The walking wounded have gone through the arch of the BMA.
1:10:31 > 1:10:33"There's dead and dying everywhere,
1:10:33 > 1:10:35"and we suspect a secondary device on the bus,"
1:10:35 > 1:10:37and then he let me through his cordon.
1:10:37 > 1:10:41We were confronted with photographers.
1:10:41 > 1:10:43It was disturbing because we were there
1:10:43 > 1:10:45trying to deal with the casualties,
1:10:45 > 1:10:48and they were like little ants all over the place,
1:10:48 > 1:10:51quite frenzied around, trying to get the best angle,
1:10:51 > 1:10:52get the best shot they could do.
1:10:52 > 1:10:55Some people were already dead.
1:10:57 > 1:11:01But I managed, God save it, I managed to walk.
1:11:01 > 1:11:06In the bus, I was located right behind the bomber.
1:11:07 > 1:11:10The one thing that I still can't compute, I suppose,
1:11:10 > 1:11:13if compute is the right word, is...
1:11:13 > 1:11:17how can anybody survive an explosion
1:11:17 > 1:11:22when they were literally centimetres close, next to the bomber?
1:11:32 > 1:11:35There was a point when Liz and I
1:11:35 > 1:11:40were the only two injured survivors left on the train.
1:11:42 > 1:11:49And they started to get's ready to take me out to an ambulance.
1:11:49 > 1:11:54They were getting ready to lift me onto a stretcher.
1:11:54 > 1:11:58And then they change their minds and one of them said to me,
1:11:58 > 1:12:01"I'm sorry, you've drawn the short straw."
1:12:01 > 1:12:04And they decided to take Liz instead.
1:12:04 > 1:12:11And then I was left in the train for another half an hour or so, I think.
1:12:14 > 1:12:19As they were carrying me out of the tunnel on the stretcher...
1:12:20 > 1:12:24..I remember, after all that time in the dark,
1:12:24 > 1:12:29it seemed as if the station was just glowing with light.
1:12:29 > 1:12:35It was a very... emotional moment for me.
1:12:35 > 1:12:40Coming up in the daylight, I can remember being carried through
1:12:40 > 1:12:45out of the station to the ambulance and just as
1:12:45 > 1:12:49they put me into the ambulance, catching a glimpse of the sky.
1:12:49 > 1:12:54There's a glass canopy over the entrance to the station
1:12:54 > 1:13:00and I remember that glimpse of the class canopy and the summer sky above it.
1:13:00 > 1:13:05It was the most wonderful thing I've seen.
1:13:22 > 1:13:29Once wed confirmed that there were no more alive people on the train,
1:13:29 > 1:13:31it was time to leave.
1:13:36 > 1:13:40All these people were standing there, thinking of their own little worlds
1:13:40 > 1:13:43at the time of the explosion, or before the explosion.
1:13:43 > 1:13:46What they were doing at work, where they were going,
1:13:46 > 1:13:48what they've got to do, or not got to do,
1:13:48 > 1:13:52what they got for tea, if they've just had an argument.
1:13:52 > 1:13:54They're listening to the iPhones, mobile phones,
1:13:54 > 1:13:57their Walkman or whatever.
1:13:57 > 1:14:01Then all of a sudden, there's an explosion and they all become one.
1:14:31 > 1:14:36You know, some days I woke up and I would just not stop crying.
1:14:36 > 1:14:38It was what am I going to do?
1:14:38 > 1:14:44I remember one day saying to my mum, "What am I going to do?
1:14:44 > 1:14:47"I've got no legs, I've got no legs."
1:14:47 > 1:14:50And I remember she grabbed my face.
1:14:50 > 1:14:55And she said, "Martine, you are still Martine
1:14:55 > 1:14:59"and you could have had a really bad knock on the head
1:14:59 > 1:15:02"or really bad brain injury and you didn't,
1:15:02 > 1:15:05"so you are still Martine and you are still here
1:15:05 > 1:15:09"and you can get new legs, you're going to get new legs."
1:15:14 > 1:15:18He came to the hospital and I said to him,
1:15:18 > 1:15:22he sat on the bed and I said, "Lewis, I've got something to tell you."
1:15:22 > 1:15:27And he said, "What?" I usually say, "Don't say what, say pardon."
1:15:27 > 1:15:32And I said, "You've got two legs, now I've got some problems, I've only got one."
1:15:32 > 1:15:35And I said, "Actually, I've got one and a half,
1:15:35 > 1:15:38"so what am I going to do about walking?"
1:15:38 > 1:15:41And he turned around and looked me and he says,
1:15:41 > 1:15:44"You just have to hop and I just have to help you.
1:15:44 > 1:15:47"And let's see who can stand on one leg the longest."
1:15:47 > 1:15:52I'm looking at memos my counsellor wrote.
1:15:54 > 1:15:58Each counselling session, he wrote down something
1:15:58 > 1:16:03and he gave it to me at the end of each session.
1:16:03 > 1:16:07I've never talked to the children about it and I don't know
1:16:07 > 1:16:11whether they've heard from other people and know anyway.
1:16:11 > 1:16:12Um...
1:16:14 > 1:16:18..or whether, you know, this will come as a shock to them.
1:16:18 > 1:16:21I literally bottled it all up.
1:16:21 > 1:16:23I can't remember what I said,
1:16:23 > 1:16:27but I just obviously confirmed the fact that I was on that train.
1:16:27 > 1:16:31But I didn't mention anything about the casualties that I'd seen
1:16:31 > 1:16:34and what had gone on in the carriage.
1:16:34 > 1:16:38I'd say I wasn't affected, but my wife would disagree with you.
1:16:38 > 1:16:39She'd say I was...
1:16:42 > 1:16:43..um, argumentative.
1:16:43 > 1:16:47She said it was like... How did she describe it?
1:16:47 > 1:16:51She said it was like walking on eggshells around me.
1:16:51 > 1:16:54That was quite...that was quite sad.
1:16:56 > 1:17:04Yes. "I now choose to let go of all my fears about dying on the tube."
1:17:10 > 1:17:14I've never felt traumatised by my experience.
1:17:14 > 1:17:20It brings home to you that you never know what is around the corner.
1:17:20 > 1:17:24Very random decisions can radically change your future.
1:17:24 > 1:17:29If I'd been standing up on that train that day, I probably wouldn't be here now.
1:17:29 > 1:17:33Because I chose to sit down, I'm still here to tell the tale.
1:17:33 > 1:17:38We had an evil act by four people,
1:17:38 > 1:17:45but it was met with this huge surge of goodness and kindness...
1:17:46 > 1:17:49..that carried a lot of us through.
1:17:49 > 1:17:54A lot of my injuries were related to basically human shrapnel.
1:17:54 > 1:17:59Part of the bomber's shinbone had gone into my left eye.
1:18:00 > 1:18:03It was irreparably damaged from that.
1:18:05 > 1:18:09I've been asked a number of times about my feelings about the bomber
1:18:09 > 1:18:14and there's just nothing to grab hold of, I don't really have an angle.
1:18:15 > 1:18:20It's difficult, it's almost like I'm more angry that I can't be angry about it.
1:18:20 > 1:18:23That probably doesn't make any sense, but that's how I feel.
1:18:23 > 1:18:26There's just no form to it,
1:18:26 > 1:18:30I can't see an angle to my opinion on it really.
1:18:30 > 1:18:32I've just had to get on with it,
1:18:32 > 1:18:39so my angle really is I've got on with it, recovered a normal life
1:18:39 > 1:18:44and we can enjoy stuff that these people didn't want to enjoy.
1:18:50 > 1:18:55They say that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction,
1:18:55 > 1:18:59and it seems that 95% of what has happened since then has been positive.
1:18:59 > 1:19:04There's been so much fundraising, outpouring of support.
1:19:04 > 1:19:07Everyone has their different ways of dealing with
1:19:07 > 1:19:10the situation that we found ourselves in.
1:19:10 > 1:19:14For us, it was really a sanity saver
1:19:14 > 1:19:17to do something constructive in Miriam's memory.
1:19:19 > 1:19:24This building is an eye hospital, and the Miriam Hyman
1:19:24 > 1:19:27Children's Eye Care Centre is these few rooms down here.
1:19:29 > 1:19:33The first patient of the Children's Eye Care Centre
1:19:33 > 1:19:39who I was lucky enough to meet. There is with his parents having an assessment.
1:19:41 > 1:19:45We know that if we allowed ourselves to go on a downward spiral
1:19:45 > 1:19:48into the depths of despair, that it would be
1:19:48 > 1:19:51almost an insult to her if we allowed ourselves to also
1:19:51 > 1:19:55lose our lives as a result of her losing hers.
1:19:55 > 1:19:59Unless you've had your family member blown up in a terrorist attack,
1:19:59 > 1:20:01you can't even imagine how it feels.
1:20:01 > 1:20:05So it's pointless to try and describe it,
1:20:05 > 1:20:09but I think it's much more constructive to talk about how you respond.
1:20:15 > 1:20:21Our life is defined by before 7 July 2005 and after the seventh.
1:20:21 > 1:20:26It's just like you've got two separate lives - before and after -
1:20:26 > 1:20:29and we don't much talk about before, do we?
1:20:29 > 1:20:32- No.- Truthful, it's almost as if something stopped then
1:20:32 > 1:20:36and it's easy to cope by moving on.
1:20:36 > 1:20:39Since David died, we went on a cruise on a holiday,
1:20:39 > 1:20:43and for dinner you go down and sit on a table of maybe
1:20:43 > 1:20:46five other couples and you don't know each other,
1:20:46 > 1:20:50but the one thing you have in common is you talk about your children.
1:20:50 > 1:20:52So you are always asked, "Do you have children?"
1:20:52 > 1:20:56And you sit there and go, "Yes, we have a son and a daughter."
1:20:56 > 1:21:00And then you're asked, "How old are they? What do they do?"
1:21:00 > 1:21:04And you're so conscious that you are going to drop the bomb
1:21:04 > 1:21:07which is the biggest conversation stopper when you say...
1:21:07 > 1:21:09Everybody is on holiday.
1:21:09 > 1:21:14- We've stopped...- We don't say, "No, we've only got a daughter."
1:21:14 > 1:21:19- We can't say that.- "So you've got a son. What do they do?" "Well, actually...
1:21:19 > 1:21:20"he was killed."
1:21:26 > 1:21:29I mean, that's a beautiful photograph of her.
1:21:29 > 1:21:32Those two are just absolutely lovely.
1:21:32 > 1:21:34She had the most beautiful eyes.
1:21:34 > 1:21:37The most sparkly, laughy eyes.
1:21:37 > 1:21:40And a very dirty laugh.
1:21:41 > 1:21:43Where did she get that from?
1:21:43 > 1:21:46I'm not sure, but not my side of the family.
1:21:46 > 1:21:51And I always keep a rose on the desk for her because she was Emily Rose.
1:21:52 > 1:21:58Christian was five years older than me, so a nice age.
1:21:58 > 1:22:02Everything I've learned from him.
1:22:02 > 1:22:06It was nice, he tried to avoid me at school.
1:22:06 > 1:22:08He didn't want to mess up his reputation.
1:22:08 > 1:22:11- But at the same time, he tried to protect you.- Yes, he always did.
1:22:11 > 1:22:14- Warning off all the boys.- Yeah.
1:22:14 > 1:22:17Nanette was born to be a dancer.
1:22:17 > 1:22:20She had a dancer's long neck, expressive face,
1:22:20 > 1:22:25eloquent hands and abundant vitality.
1:22:26 > 1:22:30He was really not practical, he wasn't a practical person.
1:22:30 > 1:22:33He found it quite difficult to apply himself to practical things, really.
1:22:33 > 1:22:36That is serious attempt at putting on sun cream.
1:22:36 > 1:22:41- In fact, I had to teach and how to shave on that holiday.- Pardon?
1:22:41 > 1:22:43Don't even go there!
1:22:47 > 1:22:51This is the first time we've ever spoken to anybody about it,
1:22:51 > 1:22:56because it was always too raw and I just feel like...
1:22:56 > 1:23:02Stan was such a lovely man that I wanted to just tell people
1:23:02 > 1:23:06how it's affected us and how it still does affect us.
1:23:06 > 1:23:09I hate the expression "to move on". People say, "Have you moved on?"
1:23:09 > 1:23:11What does that mean?
1:23:11 > 1:23:14You can't, I mean, you don't move on,
1:23:14 > 1:23:20you learn to live with this enormous hole in your heart that...
1:23:20 > 1:23:23that just you know is never going to get better
1:23:23 > 1:23:26and it becomes part of you and you get absorbed by...
1:23:27 > 1:23:28..by your grief.
1:23:28 > 1:23:32But you do operate and you get on with your own life.
1:23:33 > 1:23:37But there is always a hole in your heart.
1:23:53 > 1:23:57Tonight, in every country in the world,
1:23:57 > 1:24:01young men and women and boys and girls
1:24:01 > 1:24:05will go to sleep dreaming that in seven years
1:24:05 > 1:24:11they will come to this city to run faster and jump higher
1:24:11 > 1:24:14and throw farther than anyone has done before.
1:24:16 > 1:24:18There are those...
1:24:18 > 1:24:20there are those...
1:24:20 > 1:24:25who tell the world that we face a clash of civilisations.
1:24:29 > 1:24:33I say to them, "Come to London and see the world gathered
1:24:33 > 1:24:39"in one city, living in harmony and as an example to all."
1:24:58 > 1:25:01I always go to Russell Square station
1:25:01 > 1:25:03and I stand in front of the plaque.
1:25:03 > 1:25:09I take my flowers and I pay my respects, I pay my respects.
1:25:11 > 1:25:15Last year, I was standing in front of the plaque and I was sobbing.
1:25:15 > 1:25:18There was this businessman and I was sobbing,
1:25:18 > 1:25:21and this businessman was just walking past
1:25:21 > 1:25:27and he just put his briefcase down and he said, "You need a hug."
1:25:29 > 1:25:32And we just embraced, it was just a nice hug.
1:25:34 > 1:25:3710 seconds, it could have been, I don't even know how long it was.
1:25:37 > 1:25:41He just said, "Are you all right?" And I just said to him, "Thank you."
1:25:41 > 1:25:43And he picked up his case and off he went.
1:25:45 > 1:25:48And that was amazing because I've never had that since.
1:25:49 > 1:25:52Every time I've gone to the station.
1:25:52 > 1:25:57So, if he's ever watching this, I'd like to say thank you.
1:26:30 > 1:26:33You know, when I think about Laura, a young lady who unfortunately died
1:26:33 > 1:26:39who was very, very close to me at the time, she was the same age as me,
1:26:39 > 1:26:43she was in the same profession as me, and just because of
1:26:43 > 1:26:49where she was stood and where I was sat, I survived and she didn't.
1:26:49 > 1:26:52And I find that quite hard to come to terms with.
1:26:52 > 1:26:56But after I had spoken at the inquest,
1:26:56 > 1:27:00Laura's brother spoke to me.
1:27:07 > 1:27:08And I...
1:27:08 > 1:27:16I think he really helped me to pile all those feelings aside
1:27:16 > 1:27:19that I had about Laura
1:27:19 > 1:27:24and about the fact that I had survived and she hadn't.
1:27:24 > 1:27:29And he basically said to me that Laura was such a fun-loving girl
1:27:29 > 1:27:34who really made the most of life and, you know, did so much with her life,
1:27:34 > 1:27:39she would want you to get on with your life and to really make...
1:27:41 > 1:27:43..really make the most of it.
1:27:44 > 1:27:49And that really helped a lot because for a long time I'd been carrying that around,
1:27:49 > 1:27:52you know, feeling guilty on one side for...
1:27:52 > 1:27:54be...
1:27:56 > 1:27:58..being here and getting on.
1:27:59 > 1:28:03And the fact that, you know, other people hadn't been able to do that.
1:28:06 > 1:28:10But it just felt that it was...
1:28:10 > 1:28:13it just felt so good to know that if she had been in my place,
1:28:13 > 1:28:15that's what she would have done.
1:28:15 > 1:28:19She would have really got on with her life as well.
1:28:19 > 1:28:22So I'm really grateful that he had that conversation with me.
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