0:00:02 > 0:00:04This programme contains some strong language
0:00:04 > 0:00:07and scenes which some viewers may find disturbing from the start
0:00:07 > 0:00:11I just killed Cassie! This is not a fucking joke. I stabbed her in the throat.
0:00:11 > 0:00:15- Dude, I just killed Cassie. - Oh, my God.- Oh, fuck!
0:00:15 > 0:00:16I mean, it went by so fast.
0:00:16 > 0:00:19- Shut the fuck up, we've got to get our act straight.- OK.
0:00:57 > 0:01:00High school is a very hard time.
0:01:00 > 0:01:02I had no idea who I was.
0:01:02 > 0:01:06I had no idea where I fit in among my peers
0:01:06 > 0:01:09and I thought that I was
0:01:09 > 0:01:12a nobody at my high school.
0:01:12 > 0:01:17And I wanted to be known and so...
0:01:17 > 0:01:21I tried all these different identities.
0:01:21 > 0:01:27And I couldn't, you know, find an identity that I could...
0:01:27 > 0:01:30not be pushed out of, I guess.
0:01:30 > 0:01:32So I got into Columbine.
0:01:32 > 0:01:37'We saw these two kids. They were white and they...'
0:01:37 > 0:01:39'Bombs are reported to have gone off.'
0:01:39 > 0:01:42'Upwards of a dozen people were injured...'
0:01:42 > 0:01:47Columbine kind of created a subculture
0:01:47 > 0:01:51for disenfranchised, you know, kids,
0:01:51 > 0:01:54who don't fit in anywhere.
0:01:56 > 0:02:00I saw, at the time, they transcended their high school.
0:02:00 > 0:02:04For the hour that they did what they did,
0:02:04 > 0:02:06they were in the spotlight.
0:02:06 > 0:02:09And that's what I wanted.
0:02:09 > 0:02:11I wanted to be in the spotlight.
0:02:19 > 0:02:21Actually, I was really actually going to do it.
0:02:21 > 0:02:25INDISTINCT SPEECH
0:02:25 > 0:02:26Hey, look, it's Cassie.
0:02:26 > 0:02:28- Hey, look, I don't... - Hello, Cassie.
0:02:28 > 0:02:31How are you today?
0:02:31 > 0:02:33I'm getting you on tape, OK?
0:02:33 > 0:02:35Say hi, please.
0:02:35 > 0:02:37- Hi.- OK, see you.
0:02:37 > 0:02:39When I first met Cassie Stoddart,
0:02:39 > 0:02:43I think the first memory I have of her
0:02:43 > 0:02:46is we were joking around in class
0:02:46 > 0:02:49and she was smiling.
0:02:49 > 0:02:52And that's the image I have in my mind, now.
0:02:52 > 0:02:54I can't get that out of my mind.
0:02:55 > 0:02:56And...
0:02:59 > 0:03:01Man, it's hard to talk about. I...
0:03:05 > 0:03:08But in the beginning,
0:03:08 > 0:03:10she was just a nice person and she...
0:03:11 > 0:03:13..you know...
0:03:15 > 0:03:16Sorry.
0:03:22 > 0:03:23I was attracted to her
0:03:23 > 0:03:26and I thought she was a special person.
0:03:26 > 0:03:30But she started going out with this other kid I knew in high school
0:03:30 > 0:03:33and it kind of struck me hard.
0:03:33 > 0:03:37And I was like, "OK, so I am a loser."
0:03:37 > 0:03:38Wait!
0:03:38 > 0:03:41- Have you seen Torey?- Nu-uh.
0:03:41 > 0:03:45He's supposed to meet me here at 7:30 and it's 8:19.
0:03:46 > 0:03:48He's an hour late.
0:03:49 > 0:03:51You don't even care, do you?
0:03:51 > 0:03:53- Not really.- LAUGHING: OK!
0:03:56 > 0:04:00'I met Torey Adamcik in sophomore year.
0:04:01 > 0:04:06'He started talking about the movie Scream,
0:04:06 > 0:04:09'how it'd be cool to actually
0:04:09 > 0:04:12'do a Scream-type crime.'
0:04:12 > 0:04:15And I was like, "Oh, OK." He was like,
0:04:15 > 0:04:17"Have you ever, you know, thought about that?"
0:04:17 > 0:04:18"Not really.
0:04:18 > 0:04:22"I mean, I've thought about other things like, you know,
0:04:22 > 0:04:23"Columbine."
0:04:23 > 0:04:26And he really wasn't into that.
0:04:26 > 0:04:27And I was like,
0:04:27 > 0:04:31"Well, I could either be alone
0:04:31 > 0:04:33"or I could join his plan
0:04:33 > 0:04:36"and be with him and, you know,
0:04:36 > 0:04:38"not be alone."
0:05:03 > 0:05:06Torey got here and it was about eight months
0:05:06 > 0:05:08where we would come up every three weeks.
0:05:08 > 0:05:12And we'd leave right after work on Friday,
0:05:12 > 0:05:15drive up all night, come stay in the hotel.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18We wouldn't miss a visit for anything.
0:05:18 > 0:05:20Torey's a good kid and we enjoy the visits.
0:05:20 > 0:05:22We have a good time
0:05:22 > 0:05:26and Torey is the same person he was before he went in.
0:05:26 > 0:05:28My mom still treats me like a mom
0:05:28 > 0:05:31and she tells me to brush my teeth
0:05:31 > 0:05:33as she's leaving the visiting!
0:05:33 > 0:05:34And...
0:05:36 > 0:05:38..tells me to go to bed early or whatever.
0:05:38 > 0:05:40Just the typical stuff.
0:05:40 > 0:05:42But I don't know, I think they're just worried about me.
0:05:42 > 0:05:44You're just a really good kid.
0:05:44 > 0:05:45Torey's a good kid.
0:05:45 > 0:05:49And Torey is just a kind, kind, kind person.
0:05:49 > 0:05:50And we're still a family.
0:05:50 > 0:05:54He's still every bit as much a part of our family as before.
0:05:54 > 0:05:58I remember the first article I read about my case.
0:05:58 > 0:06:01Jeez, I mean, they made me sound like this brutal,
0:06:01 > 0:06:04cold, psychopathic killer.
0:06:04 > 0:06:06They were talking about Brian.
0:06:06 > 0:06:08They were making you just like Brian.
0:06:08 > 0:06:11- They put us, like, as the same person.- They lumped them together.
0:06:11 > 0:06:15I only hung out with him for six weeks before this happened.
0:06:15 > 0:06:18I think it's crazy how...
0:06:18 > 0:06:25the...last week of me being on the street, being free...
0:06:25 > 0:06:28really has affected the rest of my life.
0:06:28 > 0:06:31If you were to watch that video and nothing had happened,
0:06:31 > 0:06:34it would literally be a joke.
0:07:00 > 0:07:02I don't know if it was my...
0:07:02 > 0:07:07It was probably my fault and I should've seen it, but I just...
0:07:09 > 0:07:12He did not seem capable of something like this.
0:07:12 > 0:07:16And...he completely caught me off guard.
0:07:16 > 0:07:18I was just in...
0:07:19 > 0:07:21I don't know, I just couldn't believe it.
0:07:24 > 0:07:26There should be no law against killing people.
0:07:26 > 0:07:30I know it's a wrong thing, but...
0:07:30 > 0:07:34Hell, you restrict somebody from it, they're going to want it more.
0:07:34 > 0:07:39We've found our victim and sad as it may be, she's our friend.
0:07:39 > 0:07:43But you know what, we all have to make sacrifices.
0:07:43 > 0:07:45Our first victim is going to be Cassie.
0:07:45 > 0:07:48She's going to be alone in a big, dark house
0:07:48 > 0:07:51out in the middle of nowhere.
0:07:51 > 0:07:55How perfect can you get? I mean, like, holy shit, dude.
0:07:55 > 0:07:58- I'm horny just thinking about it. - Hell, yeah!
0:07:58 > 0:08:04I don't know if either of us would've done it if we were alone.
0:08:05 > 0:08:08We fed off each other, I guess.
0:08:08 > 0:08:12It was a formula for disaster in the end, you know.
0:08:12 > 0:08:15The time is 9:50.
0:08:15 > 0:08:18September 22nd, 2006.
0:08:18 > 0:08:24We know there's lots of doors. There's lots of places to hide.
0:08:24 > 0:08:28I unlocked the back door, so that's all unlocked.
0:08:28 > 0:08:30Now we've just got to wait.
0:08:30 > 0:08:34I was actually the individual who snuck downstairs
0:08:34 > 0:08:37and unlocked the basement door. And...
0:08:37 > 0:08:42Huh! It's that one...choice,
0:08:42 > 0:08:46where I was just kind of going along with it.
0:08:46 > 0:08:50I really didn't stop and say, "Why am I doing this?"
0:08:50 > 0:08:52I just did it. And...
0:08:52 > 0:08:58That one thing that I did, er...
0:08:58 > 0:09:00you know, started this whole thing.
0:09:00 > 0:09:06And that's something that is hard to deal with. Um...
0:09:06 > 0:09:09Because all I had to do was just not do that
0:09:09 > 0:09:12and this may have never happened.
0:09:34 > 0:09:39Cassie was there alone and, er...we both had masks on.
0:09:41 > 0:09:44He walks up and he tells me, er...
0:09:44 > 0:09:49"You do something scary that's going to freak her out."
0:09:49 > 0:09:54And I'm, like, "OK." And so I grab a door and I open it and I slam it.
0:09:54 > 0:09:56And, er...
0:09:56 > 0:09:58Er...then...
0:10:00 > 0:10:04..then we just kind of go to the room and the crime happens.
0:10:04 > 0:10:06And we stab her.
0:10:06 > 0:10:08I really don't...
0:10:08 > 0:10:11have a lot of v...
0:10:11 > 0:10:17er...vivid, er...memories of the actual incident.
0:10:17 > 0:10:20Er...I have what they call a...
0:10:23 > 0:10:26..er...flashbulb images of that.
0:10:26 > 0:10:30She's...breathing hard and...
0:10:30 > 0:10:32and her eyes are open.
0:10:32 > 0:10:36And she's looking off someplace else.
0:10:36 > 0:10:38And, er...
0:10:40 > 0:10:42And then I...
0:10:43 > 0:10:45I remember...
0:10:45 > 0:10:50Er...so many, like...
0:10:50 > 0:10:54She wasn't screaming, but in my head, I can hear that.
0:10:54 > 0:10:59I know she screamed before it happened to her. And, er...
0:11:01 > 0:11:04But in my memories I have,
0:11:04 > 0:11:07she's...screaming.
0:11:11 > 0:11:12When it did happen,
0:11:12 > 0:11:15I was just too shocked to do anything
0:11:15 > 0:11:18and I just ran from it and hid from it.
0:11:18 > 0:11:21And I made a lot of mistakes.
0:11:22 > 0:11:23But...
0:11:23 > 0:11:25They were...
0:11:27 > 0:11:32I don't know. I just think... I look at myself now and I'm 21
0:11:32 > 0:11:36and I think how stupid I was at 16. And I just think...
0:11:38 > 0:11:39..how I feel like
0:11:39 > 0:11:42I'm paying for somebody else's mistakes at this point.
0:12:10 > 0:12:13PLAYERS CALL TO EACH OTHER
0:12:16 > 0:12:19When I was 13 years old,
0:12:19 > 0:12:20I had a friend who was over.
0:12:20 > 0:12:25He was hanging out in the house and my mom just went left on me.
0:12:25 > 0:12:27He said, "Man, your mom's really a bitch.
0:12:27 > 0:12:28"You should kill her."
0:12:29 > 0:12:33And I mean, I didn't really take it seriously
0:12:33 > 0:12:35but that's the first time the thought was planted in my head.
0:12:35 > 0:12:38I started escaping into that daydream.
0:12:38 > 0:12:40When things got really bad, I could say,
0:12:40 > 0:12:42"Oh, yeah, one day they're going to be gone."
0:12:42 > 0:12:46'In the early morning hours of December 17,
0:12:46 > 0:12:49'15-year-old Jacob Ind slaughtered his mother and stepfather
0:12:49 > 0:12:53'in their Woodland Park home with the help of a friend.'
0:12:53 > 0:12:56'Jacob Ind reportedly tried to block out the screaming.'
0:12:56 > 0:12:59'His appearance is that of a studious prep school student.
0:12:59 > 0:13:02'But they say Jacob Ind was cold and cruel,
0:13:02 > 0:13:05'that he recruited schoolmate Gabriel Adams to do the job.'
0:13:05 > 0:13:07The kid was Looney Tunes.
0:13:07 > 0:13:09And I just knew he would help,
0:13:09 > 0:13:11so I asked for his help.
0:13:11 > 0:13:14I just didn't want anything directly to do with it.
0:13:14 > 0:13:17I just wanted the problem solved, things to be gone.
0:13:17 > 0:13:20I didn't want to see it, I didn't want to hear it,
0:13:20 > 0:13:22I wanted nothing to do with it.
0:13:22 > 0:13:25I just wanted them gone and that's what I thought would happen.
0:13:28 > 0:13:31I was sleeping when I heard the gunshots go off.
0:13:32 > 0:13:35The .22 that I gave to Gabriel...
0:13:37 > 0:13:40..really didn't have enough of a punch
0:13:40 > 0:13:42to get the job done.
0:13:42 > 0:13:44I went down the hall and saw the...
0:13:46 > 0:13:49..their door was open to their bedroom.
0:13:49 > 0:13:52It was like one o'clock in the morning. And...
0:13:55 > 0:13:58I saw my stepdad, he was bleeding
0:13:58 > 0:14:01and he said he'd been shot.
0:14:03 > 0:14:07So I went back to my room and I got some pepper spray
0:14:07 > 0:14:10and I came back and I sprayed 'em with the pepper spray,
0:14:10 > 0:14:12my mom and stepdad.
0:14:12 > 0:14:17And I went into their bathroom and closed the door.
0:14:17 > 0:14:18And I figured,
0:14:18 > 0:14:21"OK, maybe this can end.
0:14:21 > 0:14:23"Maybe this can be over by now."
0:14:23 > 0:14:26And it kept going and going and going.
0:14:26 > 0:14:30I couldn't see anything but I heard that there was still ruckus.
0:14:30 > 0:14:33I just wanted it to be over.
0:14:33 > 0:14:39And so eventually... The .357 was in the closet,
0:14:39 > 0:14:41in the bathroom,
0:14:41 > 0:14:42and I grabbed that.
0:14:43 > 0:14:47I loaded it with one bullet and I opened up the door
0:14:47 > 0:14:50and I saw my stepdad there, slumped kind of against the wall,
0:14:50 > 0:14:52and I shot him in the head.
0:14:53 > 0:14:55And he fell over.
0:14:59 > 0:15:03I turned around and went back, put another bullet
0:15:03 > 0:15:05and my mom was there.
0:15:09 > 0:15:10I shot at her
0:15:10 > 0:15:11and I missed her.
0:15:12 > 0:15:13And...
0:15:14 > 0:15:17So I turned around, went back, put in another bullet and...
0:15:19 > 0:15:21..went to shoot her again.
0:15:21 > 0:15:23And she asked me why,
0:15:23 > 0:15:27cos at that point it dawned on her what was going on.
0:15:27 > 0:15:30And I told her cos she was cruel
0:15:30 > 0:15:32and I shot her and she fell over.
0:15:46 > 0:15:48I was just so...
0:15:49 > 0:15:52..I guess disturbed by what I saw.
0:15:52 > 0:15:54I grabbed my alarm clock,
0:15:54 > 0:15:56went to the downstairs couch...
0:15:58 > 0:16:01..and I just laid there.
0:16:01 > 0:16:02And I couldn't think and I said,
0:16:02 > 0:16:04"Man, I fucked up.
0:16:04 > 0:16:06"I fucked up so bad."
0:16:23 > 0:16:26Brian didn't want us to know how much pain he was in.
0:16:26 > 0:16:30He kept that very, very separate
0:16:30 > 0:16:33from our life with him
0:16:33 > 0:16:35and the family's life with him.
0:16:37 > 0:16:40He just didn't want us to know how much pain he was in.
0:16:40 > 0:16:43That's the thing that kept us up at night the most,
0:16:43 > 0:16:46for the longest amount of time, was trying to find...
0:16:46 > 0:16:49trying to remember something that we missed.
0:16:54 > 0:16:56We adopted Brian at birth.
0:16:58 > 0:17:00When I think about our relationship
0:17:00 > 0:17:05and how strong of a relationship we had with Brian and how...
0:17:06 > 0:17:09..good of a relationship we had with Brian, it...
0:17:14 > 0:17:15If you...
0:17:15 > 0:17:18If you walked into our house back then...
0:17:22 > 0:17:23..we were normal.
0:17:25 > 0:17:28And why we didn't recognise
0:17:28 > 0:17:32that we had such a problem...
0:17:36 > 0:17:38..is horrific
0:17:38 > 0:17:43and something we still cannot bear.
0:17:49 > 0:17:50(I'm sorry.)
0:17:53 > 0:17:55PHONE DIALS
0:17:55 > 0:17:57RINGING
0:17:57 > 0:18:01- Hello?- Hello, this call is subject to monitoring and recording.
0:19:10 > 0:19:15'On November 6th 2002, Stacey and Gary Alflen were shot to death
0:19:15 > 0:19:18'in what many say was the couple's dream home.
0:19:18 > 0:19:19'In opening statements,
0:19:19 > 0:19:23'prosecutors painted the killers as cold-blooded who "kill for fun,"
0:19:23 > 0:19:26'maintaining that Josiah Ivy acted as the gunman.'
0:19:38 > 0:19:41My brother is going to be 26 years old this year
0:19:41 > 0:19:44and he will have spent ten years, a decade, in prison.
0:19:45 > 0:19:48And it's a commitment to stay in somebody's life
0:19:48 > 0:19:50with that circumstance.
0:19:54 > 0:19:57The majority of families forget about them.
0:20:07 > 0:20:10My parents visit him every week, too.
0:20:10 > 0:20:13He's chosen to forgive
0:20:13 > 0:20:17and he's so very grateful of my parents' relationship
0:20:17 > 0:20:20and willingness to commit to visiting him,
0:20:20 > 0:20:22to being interactive in his life.
0:20:22 > 0:20:25And they have a great working relationship.
0:20:25 > 0:20:28What do you mean they have a great working relationship?
0:20:30 > 0:20:33What I mean by a great working relationship
0:20:33 > 0:20:36is that he's not embittered
0:20:36 > 0:20:38by anything that happened in our childhood.
0:20:50 > 0:20:53You know, my parents spanked us when we were kids.
0:20:53 > 0:20:57I don't know if these days that's considered abuse or not.
0:20:57 > 0:21:00I didn't really look at it like that. But...
0:21:26 > 0:21:28OK.
0:21:30 > 0:21:31OK, so maybe, yeah,
0:21:31 > 0:21:35I guess there's some stuff I really don't want to talk about.
0:21:35 > 0:21:38At least not on camera, you know?
0:21:38 > 0:21:39But...
0:21:46 > 0:21:47I don't ever talk about it.
0:21:50 > 0:21:51No.
0:22:03 > 0:22:05As far as our childhood, it was...
0:22:09 > 0:22:10..my parents regret a lot of it
0:22:10 > 0:22:13and I think they would do things very differently now.
0:22:13 > 0:22:16But you can't go back in the past.
0:22:16 > 0:22:18And Josiah has forgiven my parents.
0:22:20 > 0:22:23I know you used the word but did you guys grow up in a cult?
0:22:26 > 0:22:28Yeah. When we were younger,
0:22:28 > 0:22:32we definitely grew up in, like, a religious cult.
0:22:45 > 0:22:47I will tell you, I don't think...
0:22:47 > 0:22:48Like, I don't...
0:22:50 > 0:22:52..like remembering our old home.
0:22:56 > 0:22:59And at the end there,
0:22:59 > 0:23:00you know,
0:23:00 > 0:23:02right before Josiah was going to be sent away...
0:23:05 > 0:23:08..you know, you walk in every room
0:23:08 > 0:23:09and you have memories of things...
0:23:11 > 0:23:13..that you'd rather not have.
0:23:32 > 0:23:34Do you feel like I'm still being closed?
0:23:37 > 0:23:39I think you're being as open as you're capable of being.
0:23:45 > 0:23:46On the abuse stuff, yeah.
0:23:50 > 0:23:52AMBER:
0:24:05 > 0:24:06Just...
0:24:51 > 0:24:54How old were you when your stepfather molested you?
0:24:54 > 0:24:55Four.
0:24:55 > 0:24:58- Four...- Do you remember it? - ..five, six...
0:24:58 > 0:24:59A little bit of it.
0:24:59 > 0:25:03I mean, it's still something very easy to run away from
0:25:03 > 0:25:06and not address and not confront.
0:25:07 > 0:25:10The brain is a beautiful mechanism
0:25:10 > 0:25:13in keeping stuff like that shut out.
0:25:14 > 0:25:16How long did it go on for?
0:25:16 > 0:25:17And did your mom know about it?
0:25:19 > 0:25:20Did you ever tell anybody?
0:25:20 > 0:25:23No, God, no. I never told anybody about it.
0:25:23 > 0:25:25Can I ask what they did to you?
0:25:25 > 0:25:29It's not really something I like talking about, at all.
0:25:33 > 0:25:36He would have us get undressed...
0:25:39 > 0:25:41..then tie us,
0:25:41 > 0:25:43start to masturbate...
0:25:44 > 0:25:46And after he was done,
0:25:46 > 0:25:47he would get dressed...
0:25:52 > 0:25:55..and say, "You're so BLEEPing dirty.
0:25:55 > 0:25:57"Go and take a BLEEPing shower."
0:26:01 > 0:26:03How do you treat a kid like a piece of shit?
0:26:03 > 0:26:05You know, how do you do that to him?
0:26:05 > 0:26:07I can't wrap my brain around that.
0:26:07 > 0:26:10I mean...just the cruelty of it.
0:26:15 > 0:26:16My mom used to give me enemas,
0:26:16 > 0:26:19from when I was like four or five years old and stuff,
0:26:19 > 0:26:22for reasons that didn't make any sense, you know?
0:26:23 > 0:26:27To me, you think back and it's like, "Well, that's odd."
0:26:29 > 0:26:33My stepdad was the source of terror.
0:26:33 > 0:26:37He'd slam me up against the wall and tell me he'd crush my head in.
0:26:37 > 0:26:40But that was more tolerable really,
0:26:40 > 0:26:42to me,
0:26:42 > 0:26:45than the cruelty and coldness of my mom.
0:26:46 > 0:26:47That...
0:26:49 > 0:26:51..filled me with more despair than anything else.
0:26:51 > 0:26:54I could put up with getting beat up, that's nothing.
0:26:54 > 0:26:57It hurts a little while and then it goes away.
0:26:57 > 0:27:02But being berated for three hours at a time, four hours at a time,
0:27:02 > 0:27:05being told how you're worthless, how you deserved what you got.
0:27:05 > 0:27:08When I was a little kid,
0:27:08 > 0:27:11and this is when I was getting molested
0:27:11 > 0:27:14and probably the worst abuse...
0:27:15 > 0:27:19..my mom told me never to tell the cops anything
0:27:19 > 0:27:21cos if I ever called the cops,
0:27:21 > 0:27:25they would come and give THEM a medal
0:27:25 > 0:27:28because I was such a horrible, rotten kid
0:27:28 > 0:27:30who deserved what they gave me.
0:27:32 > 0:27:34And that stuck with me.
0:27:35 > 0:27:39I spoke up as much as I could...
0:27:40 > 0:27:43..with as weak as I was at the time,
0:27:43 > 0:27:45I thought I was screaming from the mountaintop.
0:27:47 > 0:27:51You know, objectively I was making tiny whimpers.
0:27:51 > 0:27:54But I raised every red flag I could
0:27:54 > 0:27:56and no-one paid attention.
0:27:58 > 0:28:03I don't know, it put me in a very deep, dark place
0:28:03 > 0:28:05where I didn't see an option.
0:28:44 > 0:28:47I joined the Bloods at around the age of 14.
0:28:48 > 0:28:50And as a Blood, you know,
0:28:50 > 0:28:54it didn't really mean much of anything except selling crack...
0:28:55 > 0:28:59..getting into some fights here and there with the Crips.
0:28:59 > 0:29:01But eventually,
0:29:01 > 0:29:03it became more serious.
0:29:03 > 0:29:06As they started shooting at us more,
0:29:06 > 0:29:09we started shooting at them more often.
0:29:09 > 0:29:13And the first time that I ever shot a gun...
0:29:14 > 0:29:17..I killed someone...
0:29:23 > 0:29:26..a young man who was just walking home from work.
0:29:30 > 0:29:32We said to that man that day, he was walking down the street
0:29:32 > 0:29:34and we said, "Hey, what's up, Blood?"
0:29:34 > 0:29:36He said, "I don't gang bang."
0:29:39 > 0:29:42One of the people I was with jumped out of the car and said,
0:29:42 > 0:29:45"I didn't ask you if you gang bang. I said, 'What's up, Blood?'"
0:29:45 > 0:29:47And that young man took off running.
0:29:49 > 0:29:52You know, we laughed. "Oh, look at him. He's running!"
0:29:55 > 0:29:58That man got back in the car, we circled round,
0:29:58 > 0:30:00we were going home. We were about to go home.
0:30:00 > 0:30:03We weren't even thinking about this guy any more.
0:30:04 > 0:30:06But then we saw him running to a house.
0:30:09 > 0:30:13And when he got to that house, he knocked on that door
0:30:13 > 0:30:16and three Crips
0:30:16 > 0:30:17came out of that house.
0:30:21 > 0:30:24And that's how the whole incident started.
0:30:26 > 0:30:28That's when I made the decision,
0:30:28 > 0:30:30"I'm going to, you know,
0:30:30 > 0:30:33"shoot a gun at these guys' house, to scare them."
0:30:58 > 0:30:59TOREY'S MOTHER: He was just a kid.
0:30:59 > 0:31:04I mean, at 16 years old he was very easily influenced by his friends.
0:31:04 > 0:31:07Torey's much more of a follower than a leader.
0:31:07 > 0:31:10- I mean...- Yeah, who I was at that point
0:31:10 > 0:31:12and who I am now,
0:31:12 > 0:31:14it's like totally different people.
0:31:14 > 0:31:18But who Torey was at that age, at 16, he still didn't commit this crime.
0:31:18 > 0:31:21- I mean...- He's not saying that. He's not saying that.
0:31:21 > 0:31:22- I'm saying...- He has changed.
0:31:22 > 0:31:24I've made some mistakes and I learned from them.
0:31:24 > 0:31:28But your mistakes weren't anything you were charged with.
0:31:28 > 0:31:32- They weren't the murder and the conspiracy.- Yeah.
0:31:32 > 0:31:33That was Brian.
0:31:35 > 0:31:37It must be harder because you're innocent,
0:31:37 > 0:31:39to be facing it.
0:31:41 > 0:31:42Yeah, I guess.
0:31:46 > 0:31:49It's not unusual that he...
0:31:49 > 0:31:52you know, had that response
0:31:52 > 0:31:56and his parents having that response.
0:31:56 > 0:31:58I mean, it's a lot to deal with.
0:31:58 > 0:32:05I mean, you have to accept the societal brand
0:32:05 > 0:32:08that you are a convicted murderer.
0:32:08 > 0:32:13And that is a very scary term
0:32:13 > 0:32:17to have affixed to your name.
0:32:17 > 0:32:21And that's...so it's really hard.
0:32:21 > 0:32:26He wants to please his parents.
0:32:26 > 0:32:28He wants to go home.
0:32:29 > 0:32:33And his, kind of, behaviour is really common
0:32:33 > 0:32:35and it's ordinary, I think.
0:32:35 > 0:32:37Um...
0:32:37 > 0:32:40I think what makes somebody
0:32:40 > 0:32:42extraordinary
0:32:42 > 0:32:46is when they face everything
0:32:46 > 0:32:48and just kind of...
0:32:49 > 0:32:51..accept it.
0:32:51 > 0:32:53It's a hard thing to admit, you know?
0:32:53 > 0:32:56I killed Cassie Stoddart.
0:32:56 > 0:32:59I stabbed a 16-year-old girl to death.
0:32:59 > 0:33:01That's pretty hard to say.
0:33:08 > 0:33:10Life never gets so serious
0:33:10 > 0:33:14until something like that happens, you know?
0:33:14 > 0:33:18You know, I was a 17-year-old kid, I didn't take anything serious.
0:33:18 > 0:33:20I hardly ever went to school.
0:33:20 > 0:33:22I was always skipping class,
0:33:22 > 0:33:25smoking weed, getting drunk.
0:33:26 > 0:33:28That's all I ever did, you know?
0:33:28 > 0:33:30Sell drugs.
0:33:30 > 0:33:32I mean, life wasn't serious. Nothing was serious...
0:33:34 > 0:33:36..until I took someone's life.
0:33:39 > 0:33:42I mean, man, I wanted to get out of the gang right then and there.
0:33:42 > 0:33:43You know?
0:33:49 > 0:33:51BRIAN: When I first got here,
0:33:51 > 0:33:54I tried to blame others.
0:33:58 > 0:34:00And I met this individual in here
0:34:00 > 0:34:03and he asked me what happened, my crime.
0:34:03 > 0:34:04And I told him,
0:34:04 > 0:34:08"Oh, you know, I'm not exactly sure what happened.
0:34:08 > 0:34:12"You know, they s...they said I killed her.
0:34:12 > 0:34:13"I'm not even sure if I did or not."
0:34:13 > 0:34:15And he sat me down and he was like...
0:34:18 > 0:34:22"Stop giving me a whole bunch of bullshit, OK?
0:34:22 > 0:34:24"If you want my help,
0:34:24 > 0:34:28"you have to completely be honest with me."
0:34:29 > 0:34:31And he taught me about how...
0:34:33 > 0:34:37..I owe a tremendous debt to Cassie Stoddart
0:34:37 > 0:34:43and the only way that I can even start paying that
0:34:43 > 0:34:46is to first of all
0:34:46 > 0:34:48tell exactly what happened to her.
0:34:48 > 0:34:50And...
0:34:50 > 0:34:54And do not dishonour her
0:34:54 > 0:34:56in anything that you do in your life.
0:34:56 > 0:35:00And I've, you know, I've tried that.
0:35:00 > 0:35:01It's very hard.
0:35:01 > 0:35:03It's very hard.
0:35:03 > 0:35:05But I think that...
0:35:07 > 0:35:08..that's all I can do.
0:35:08 > 0:35:11And I have the obligation. I have to do that or I'm...
0:35:11 > 0:35:13I'm...
0:35:14 > 0:35:16..you know, a monster, I guess.
0:35:50 > 0:35:51- SEAN:- When I got to prison,
0:35:51 > 0:35:53I still got myself involved
0:35:53 > 0:35:57in certain situations that were gang-related.
0:35:58 > 0:35:59Still, even then, I felt like
0:35:59 > 0:36:02it was like clothes that didn't fit, you know?
0:36:02 > 0:36:04It just wasn't me.
0:36:04 > 0:36:06And it only took one incident in prison
0:36:06 > 0:36:07for me to say, you know,
0:36:07 > 0:36:12"I'm living the same ridiculous way I was living
0:36:12 > 0:36:14"before I got locked up, man,
0:36:14 > 0:36:15"and I've got to stop this."
0:36:17 > 0:36:20A friend of mine got into a fight with a Crip.
0:36:20 > 0:36:22I went to retaliate.
0:36:22 > 0:36:25After it was over with, I just lined all my friends up in the gym
0:36:25 > 0:36:27and I told them,
0:36:27 > 0:36:28"I'm out."
0:36:29 > 0:36:32I'd been studying Islam, anyway, you know.
0:36:33 > 0:36:35And I told them that I'm going to...
0:36:35 > 0:36:40I'm going to take this way of life called Islam.
0:36:40 > 0:36:42I'm going to take it serious.
0:36:42 > 0:36:43And in order to take it serious,
0:36:43 > 0:36:46I can't live two lives
0:36:46 > 0:36:51because Allah didn't make two hearts in one breast.
0:36:54 > 0:36:57So I chose to, you know,
0:36:57 > 0:36:59live the life of the Muslim
0:36:59 > 0:37:02and I left the life of a Blood behind me.
0:37:29 > 0:37:33When I first went to solitary confinement, I was 17.
0:37:33 > 0:37:36I was stuck in a cell and I couldn't run away from who I was.
0:37:38 > 0:37:43And solitary, that's where all the worst of the worst are,
0:37:43 > 0:37:46which at the time I thought the greatest convicts,
0:37:46 > 0:37:48the tough guys, the real guys are.
0:37:48 > 0:37:51But eventually, I had to decide
0:37:51 > 0:37:55whether I wanted to be like those around me
0:37:55 > 0:38:01or if I wanted to be the type of man I idealised in my brain.
0:38:02 > 0:38:06And then I started looking at myself more in-depth
0:38:06 > 0:38:07and said,
0:38:07 > 0:38:10"I don't want to be who I am right now either.
0:38:10 > 0:38:12"I don't like who I am right now."
0:38:12 > 0:38:16So I started going layer by layer through who I was,
0:38:16 > 0:38:19through how I thought,
0:38:19 > 0:38:22what my outlooks on life were,
0:38:22 > 0:38:23characteristics.
0:38:23 > 0:38:27And if I didn't like it, I'd work on it,
0:38:27 > 0:38:30work on that one thing till I got rid of it,
0:38:30 > 0:38:32move to the next item.
0:38:33 > 0:38:38And as I learned new lessons from my studies,
0:38:38 > 0:38:41I'd learn to apply it into my life.
0:38:43 > 0:38:45Forgiveness is one of them,
0:38:45 > 0:38:47being a more forgiving person.
0:38:48 > 0:38:49Um...
0:38:51 > 0:38:53To try to have empathy with others
0:38:53 > 0:38:56and to empathise with where they're coming from
0:38:56 > 0:38:58and from their situation,
0:38:58 > 0:39:03rather than solely from my own, judging from my own experience,
0:39:03 > 0:39:06which is definitely a radical change in thinking
0:39:06 > 0:39:08for most people!
0:39:08 > 0:39:11I mean, it really changed how I looked at the world
0:39:11 > 0:39:15and how I viewed human interactions and dealt with people.
0:39:15 > 0:39:18And I... To me, it's one of the most important lessons I've learned
0:39:18 > 0:39:19so far in prison.
0:39:22 > 0:39:26BRIAN: I want to have a chance at a life.
0:39:26 > 0:39:29I understand that, you know, Cassie can't
0:39:29 > 0:39:34and I...I never ignore that.
0:39:34 > 0:39:37You know, she is dead
0:39:37 > 0:39:39and not anything is going to change that.
0:39:39 > 0:39:41You know, I did something terrible.
0:39:41 > 0:39:43And, you know,
0:39:43 > 0:39:48there has to be consequences for that.
0:39:48 > 0:39:51You know, everything we do in life, there are always consequences.
0:39:51 > 0:39:55Oh, man, my consequences hurt my dad, my grandma,
0:39:55 > 0:39:57my aunts,
0:39:57 > 0:39:59even my friends and neighbours at school.
0:40:01 > 0:40:04I had no concept that what I was
0:40:04 > 0:40:07doing was going to hurt so many people.
0:40:07 > 0:40:10I was completely clueless about it.
0:40:10 > 0:40:14And that's...it's hard for me
0:40:14 > 0:40:20to build up much sympathy for my mom and step-dad.
0:40:20 > 0:40:23Though, I did originally, right off the back.
0:40:25 > 0:40:31But for all the innocent people that were hurt, like my brother
0:40:31 > 0:40:32and like my family...
0:40:35 > 0:40:37..it's almost unforgivable.
0:40:37 > 0:40:43And it's a weight that I try to avoid, try to keep off my shoulders
0:40:43 > 0:40:49for years and now that I've embraced it,
0:40:49 > 0:40:53my driving factor is, I have to make it up to them.
0:40:53 > 0:40:57They're the only thing in this world that I give a damn about any more.
0:40:57 > 0:41:01And they're the reason I want to be the best person I can be
0:41:01 > 0:41:06and make something of myself, as to make it up for them.
0:41:06 > 0:41:09I don't know, I have a lot of ambitions.
0:41:09 > 0:41:13I mean, if I were to get out...
0:41:13 > 0:41:17I mean, I know exactly what I would do with my life
0:41:17 > 0:41:23but being here that's all I have is just these...it feels like all
0:41:23 > 0:41:26I have is just to sit here and rot
0:41:26 > 0:41:30and there's no redeeming qualities, there's nothing I can do,
0:41:30 > 0:41:33really, to alleviate any...
0:41:37 > 0:41:38I don't know,
0:41:38 > 0:41:41it's like just watching yourself decompose.
0:41:41 > 0:41:42It's just horrible.
0:41:46 > 0:41:50He's been in prison six years
0:41:50 > 0:41:54and he's still on his first day,
0:41:54 > 0:41:55you know.
0:41:55 > 0:42:00He hasn't progressed at all and that is going to hurt him in the end.
0:42:00 > 0:42:05You know, either psychologically,
0:42:05 > 0:42:09if he has a conscience, or the courts.
0:42:09 > 0:42:15They don't want to hear that you're completely innocent.
0:42:15 > 0:42:18You know, he's not innocent.
0:42:18 > 0:42:19He's not.
0:42:19 > 0:42:22You know, I'm not innocent, I'm guilty and he's guilty
0:42:22 > 0:42:27and that's where we all should start at.
0:42:35 > 0:42:4020 years, I would say about 20 years after that incident,
0:42:40 > 0:42:46I began to try to put a plan in motion to,
0:42:46 > 0:42:48instead of feeling bad, feeling down,
0:42:48 > 0:42:51feeling depressed about what
0:42:51 > 0:42:56I did, to try to help people.
0:42:56 > 0:42:59Starting with the people that I was around, you know.
0:42:59 > 0:43:03I didn't have to reach out to the free world, there was
0:43:03 > 0:43:06a bunch of gang bangers in prison.
0:43:06 > 0:43:08You know, so I reached out to them.
0:43:08 > 0:43:14Let them know, you know, hey, there is a better life to live for you.
0:43:14 > 0:43:17There's a life that makes more sense.
0:43:17 > 0:43:21I had a lot of good, positive mentors in prison
0:43:21 > 0:43:24and they would always hand me a book, they would always say,
0:43:24 > 0:43:26"What have you read today?"
0:43:26 > 0:43:28"I haven't read anything today."
0:43:28 > 0:43:32"Well, good, I have something for you here."
0:43:32 > 0:43:35And I came up like that in prison, I grew up like that in prison.
0:43:35 > 0:43:37I began to educate others
0:43:37 > 0:43:41and I began to pass on those same things that those men taught me.
0:43:41 > 0:43:44I started feeling like this is what I'm supposed to do.
0:43:46 > 0:43:48And I wrote to Governor Ritter...
0:43:52 > 0:43:57I didn't write to beg him to let me out of prison, I wrote him
0:43:57 > 0:44:00and asked him, would it be OK with him
0:44:00 > 0:44:04if I were put in a position where I could try to keep young
0:44:04 > 0:44:08people from doing the same stupid thing that I did.
0:44:20 > 0:44:23My last son was convicted of first degree murder
0:44:23 > 0:44:28when he had just turned 17, brain just wasn't mature enough.
0:44:28 > 0:44:32I thank God that I'm not judged permanently on how I acted
0:44:32 > 0:44:33when I was 16.
0:44:33 > 0:44:37We need to fairly assess mitigating
0:44:37 > 0:44:39factors in some of these juvenile cases.
0:44:40 > 0:44:45And we need to fairly assess who that person is today.
0:44:45 > 0:44:46If I could say something?
0:44:46 > 0:44:50All of this makes it sound as if we're making excuses.
0:44:50 > 0:44:55A life was taken, we can not mitigate that
0:44:55 > 0:44:58and we can not say, "Somehow, it's OK..."
0:44:58 > 0:45:04Because whether this kid was 15 or they're 35, somebody was killed.
0:45:04 > 0:45:07But I think we have to look beyond that
0:45:07 > 0:45:09and that's where Sharletta comes in.
0:45:09 > 0:45:12Sharletta Evans lost her three-year-old son, Casson,
0:45:12 > 0:45:16to two juvenile lifers in a drive-by shooting,
0:45:16 > 0:45:18let Sharletta tell her story.
0:45:21 > 0:45:29Hello, thank you, Mary Ellen, erm, 17 years ago my three-year-old son,
0:45:29 > 0:45:32Casson Evans, was killed in a drive-by shooting.
0:45:32 > 0:45:3621 bullets were fired, one bullet into the back window,
0:45:36 > 0:45:42entered into his temple, shattered his brain stem.
0:45:42 > 0:45:46So, the paramedics showed up, right when they came into the house
0:45:46 > 0:45:51where we were standing, erm, Casson took his last breath in my arms.
0:45:58 > 0:46:04I was overwhelmed with grief and sorrow.
0:46:04 > 0:46:08Not knowing what to feel, not knowing to sit down, stand up,
0:46:08 > 0:46:10go to sleep or stay up.
0:46:10 > 0:46:13You're just consumed with sorrow.
0:46:14 > 0:46:18I knew they were teenagers but I wanted justice.
0:46:21 > 0:46:24Years are going by, one of the shooters,
0:46:24 > 0:46:27his mother came to me after 11 years and asked me
0:46:27 > 0:46:31would I beg her pardon, would I pardon her son
0:46:31 > 0:46:36and her for these deeds that they'd done and I'm like,
0:46:36 > 0:46:39"Wow! Are you kidding?"
0:46:39 > 0:46:42You know, "No!" And I just walked away.
0:46:44 > 0:46:48I began to argue with God, I began to cry and argue with God,
0:46:48 > 0:46:51like, what is wrong with these people?!
0:46:53 > 0:46:55They still don't get it!
0:46:56 > 0:47:00I would not forgive anybody and I'm angry about this.
0:47:05 > 0:47:10Right there, I recognised the presence of the Lord,
0:47:10 > 0:47:15the spirit of God saying, "Would you forgive?"
0:47:15 > 0:47:22My heart began to soften and have compassion, where I found myself
0:47:22 > 0:47:28crying and praying and...
0:47:29 > 0:47:32..literally, weeping for who they really were
0:47:32 > 0:47:35and what has happened to them in their lives that caused this
0:47:35 > 0:47:40act of violence, this emptiness within themselves.
0:47:42 > 0:47:45This could actually be my very own son!
0:47:45 > 0:47:48My surviving son was, at this time,
0:47:48 > 0:47:5216 and 17 and...this could very well have been him.
0:47:54 > 0:47:58So, I pretty much put myself
0:47:58 > 0:48:03in the place of the offender
0:48:03 > 0:48:05and the offender's family.
0:48:05 > 0:48:09The guilt and the shame
0:48:09 > 0:48:12is there for the offender's family.
0:48:15 > 0:48:17My whole family...
0:48:17 > 0:48:19My whole family...
0:48:21 > 0:48:26..we won't ever be able to understand
0:48:26 > 0:48:28what the victims' families go through
0:48:28 > 0:48:30but our whole family...
0:48:34 > 0:48:36..hurts.
0:48:42 > 0:48:44Are we, as a society,
0:48:44 > 0:48:47are we grown-up enough
0:48:47 > 0:48:48and spiritual enough to say,
0:48:48 > 0:48:53"OK, there is redemption and rehabilitation for some of them"?
0:48:53 > 0:48:56And does this person deserve a second chance at life?
0:48:56 > 0:48:59Has he shown remorse? What does that look like?
0:49:13 > 0:49:15- JOSIAH:- I've made terrible decisions,
0:49:15 > 0:49:18they're the worst I've ever made.
0:49:18 > 0:49:21And I've had to live with those, ever since.
0:49:21 > 0:49:24There are so many things that I should have done differently.
0:49:27 > 0:49:31I'm so sorry about what happened to them.
0:49:31 > 0:49:32I...
0:49:38 > 0:49:39I don't know.
0:49:51 > 0:49:53After the crime had happened,
0:49:53 > 0:49:55I had horrific dreams, bad dreams,
0:49:55 > 0:49:57where she was there.
0:49:57 > 0:50:00And just graphic...
0:50:02 > 0:50:04..gruesome dreams about her dying.
0:50:04 > 0:50:07I would wake up in the night
0:50:07 > 0:50:09and I would be scared,
0:50:09 > 0:50:11like, terrified.
0:50:21 > 0:50:25Now I have dreams of her at school
0:50:25 > 0:50:28and everything's, you know, good.
0:50:28 > 0:50:31She's...always smiling.
0:50:33 > 0:50:36But I always know, in the dream,
0:50:36 > 0:50:38that I killed her.
0:50:38 > 0:50:41And those dreams are...
0:50:42 > 0:50:43..are even worse.
0:50:51 > 0:50:53And that's, like...
0:50:53 > 0:50:55The only thing I can do
0:50:55 > 0:50:56is hurt myself.
0:50:59 > 0:51:00It takes away the...
0:51:02 > 0:51:03..pain of...
0:51:07 > 0:51:09..just knowing what I did.
0:51:14 > 0:51:15Remorse equals pain,
0:51:15 > 0:51:19your feeling of pain for what you've done to someone else.
0:51:19 > 0:51:22And it's very easy to deny pain
0:51:22 > 0:51:23and run away from pain.
0:51:23 > 0:51:25And I did it for a long time.
0:51:26 > 0:51:29And then I started becoming aware
0:51:29 > 0:51:31of everyone else who was hurt...
0:51:32 > 0:51:35..and feeling remorse for that.
0:51:35 > 0:51:38And then running away from that pain, as soon as I realised it.
0:51:38 > 0:51:41I said, "Whoa, no, no, I don't want to feel pain."
0:51:41 > 0:51:43So, "No, it's not my fault that all those people are hurt.
0:51:43 > 0:51:46"I'm going to still put it back on my parents.
0:51:46 > 0:51:48"If they didn't do all that to me,
0:51:48 > 0:51:50"then these people wouldn't have been hurt either."
0:51:52 > 0:51:54And it took...
0:51:56 > 0:51:58..probably close to a decade
0:51:58 > 0:52:01before I could have the strength
0:52:01 > 0:52:03to stop and say, "No...
0:52:05 > 0:52:06"My fault."
0:52:08 > 0:52:10What makes so much of it worse,
0:52:10 > 0:52:12now, thinking back on my childhood,
0:52:12 > 0:52:15is now that I'm a grown man, I've seen kids,
0:52:15 > 0:52:19I've seen what the relationship's supposed to be with your parents.
0:52:19 > 0:52:22Obviously they had to have been mentally ill.
0:52:22 > 0:52:25You know, they were passing down garbage from their past,
0:52:25 > 0:52:27you know, it's a cycle.
0:52:27 > 0:52:29They had their own issues that led into it,
0:52:29 > 0:52:32that lessened their culpability.
0:52:33 > 0:52:35And when you start thinking about that, it's like,
0:52:35 > 0:52:38"Wait a minute, they didn't deserve what happened to them
0:52:38 > 0:52:40"that caused them to be that way."
0:52:40 > 0:52:42And it starts feeding into itself and it's like,
0:52:42 > 0:52:47"Wow, if I'm going to say I deserve another shot
0:52:47 > 0:52:51"because I was screwed up and I was made to be who I am,
0:52:51 > 0:52:56"then I have to have the same amount of empathy for them
0:52:56 > 0:52:59"and what they went through, that made them into who they were."
0:53:24 > 0:53:28- SEAN:- Now, on January 8th 2011,
0:53:28 > 0:53:31one of the sergeants in my cell house
0:53:31 > 0:53:33called me into his office
0:53:33 > 0:53:36and spun his computer around and said,
0:53:36 > 0:53:37"Do you recognise this name?"
0:53:41 > 0:53:42It was the governor's website.
0:53:42 > 0:53:45I said, "Yeah, it's my name." He said, "What does it say?"
0:53:45 > 0:53:46It says, "Sean Taylor..."
0:53:49 > 0:53:50"..sentenced in 1990..."
0:53:53 > 0:53:56"..to life, for first-degree murder,
0:53:56 > 0:53:59"has had his sentence commuted...
0:54:02 > 0:54:03"..to parole."
0:54:10 > 0:54:12I started crying immediately.
0:54:22 > 0:54:25I went back in the cell house and hugged all my friends.
0:54:25 > 0:54:27And, you know, everybody...
0:54:27 > 0:54:31everybody just was, you know, standing around crying...
0:54:33 > 0:54:35..praising God.
0:54:38 > 0:54:41Everything feels beautiful out here, man.
0:54:41 > 0:54:43But I never try to lose focus.
0:54:45 > 0:54:48I say, even though, you know, I've been blessed
0:54:48 > 0:54:51and I'm enjoying my life out here,
0:54:51 > 0:54:54there's still always the mission
0:54:54 > 0:54:59to make sure that I can do whatever I can do...
0:55:00 > 0:55:04..whatever I can do to stop some young person...
0:55:05 > 0:55:08..from doing something like I did.
0:55:12 > 0:55:18I have personally seen my dad cry
0:55:18 > 0:55:20two times.
0:55:20 > 0:55:22And the first time
0:55:22 > 0:55:27was when I won a scholarship
0:55:27 > 0:55:30for a science project I did.
0:55:31 > 0:55:32And the other time
0:55:32 > 0:55:35was when he was on the stand in court.
0:55:35 > 0:55:36And...
0:55:37 > 0:55:41..he was crying because I hurt him so much.
0:55:45 > 0:55:49Your parents, they love you so much
0:55:49 > 0:55:52and then you show them this
0:55:52 > 0:55:54by destroying them.
0:56:00 > 0:56:02I've got special parents.
0:56:09 > 0:56:12CRYING: I just wish I could... go back in time.