0:00:02 > 0:00:07This programme contains some strong language and some scenes which some viewers may find upsetting.
0:00:07 > 0:00:11If there is anything in this world that I could take back,
0:00:11 > 0:00:13it would be that I would give Mercedes her life back.
0:00:15 > 0:00:21I would actually give my life in exchange for her life
0:00:21 > 0:00:26because the guilt that I'm living with
0:00:26 > 0:00:30is so horrible, it's not worth it.
0:00:32 > 0:00:35I know that I'm secure in my relationship with God,
0:00:35 > 0:00:38but I don't know that Mercedes was secure,
0:00:38 > 0:00:41so I have to live with the fact that...
0:00:42 > 0:00:44..I killed Mercedes and...
0:00:45 > 0:00:47..she's in hell.
0:01:15 > 0:01:18VOICEOVER: I was deceived and lied to.
0:01:21 > 0:01:23VOICEOVER: It doesn't make what I did right.
0:01:27 > 0:01:31VOICEOVER: But things could have went a lot differently
0:01:31 > 0:01:33had the truth been shared.
0:01:46 > 0:01:492016, 10:04.
0:01:49 > 0:01:52The state of Mississippi versus Joshua Brandon Vallum.
0:01:53 > 0:01:55- How old are you?- 29.
0:01:55 > 0:01:57And are you married?
0:01:57 > 0:02:01- I'm divorced.- Do you understand, if your plea of guilty is accepted,
0:02:01 > 0:02:03you could lose your freedom for a long time?
0:02:03 > 0:02:05- Yes, sir.- Have you read the indictment?
0:02:05 > 0:02:07- Yes, sir.- What crime are you charged with?
0:02:07 > 0:02:10- Murder, sir.- Do you know the minimum sentence
0:02:10 > 0:02:13- and the fine for the charge to which you are pleading?- Yes, sir.
0:02:13 > 0:02:14Tell me what it is, please.
0:02:14 > 0:02:18- Life, sir.- Do you understand, if you plead guilty,
0:02:18 > 0:02:21you're waiving all of your constitutional rights and defences?
0:02:21 > 0:02:25- Yes, sir.- Your Honour, on May 30, 2015,
0:02:25 > 0:02:27there is no doubt that this defendant
0:02:27 > 0:02:30stabbed Mercedes Williamson.
0:02:30 > 0:02:32Mercedes was 17 at the time of her death.
0:02:32 > 0:02:36Everyone I've talked to, everyone said the same thing -
0:02:36 > 0:02:38that she was a good person, loving, kind.
0:02:38 > 0:02:41She was a star in high school.
0:02:41 > 0:02:45Mercedes chose to live her life the way she wanted to live it.
0:02:45 > 0:02:48Even Mr Vallum will say they loved each other.
0:02:48 > 0:02:51But they also both knew they were playing with fire.
0:02:51 > 0:02:53Are you pleading guilty because you're guilty
0:02:53 > 0:02:54and for no other reason?
0:02:54 > 0:02:57- Yes, sir.- Well, tell me what you did that makes you think you're guilty.
0:02:57 > 0:02:59Um...
0:02:59 > 0:03:01..I killed Mercedes Williamson, sir.
0:03:06 > 0:03:09I accept the plea and the recommendation of the state
0:03:09 > 0:03:11and sentence you to life in prison
0:03:11 > 0:03:13in the Mississippi Department of Corrections.
0:03:13 > 0:03:15- Court is adjourned, thank you. - GAVEL BANGS
0:03:31 > 0:03:34- RADIO:- Is your credit so bad,
0:03:34 > 0:03:37not even your mama will lend you money?
0:03:37 > 0:03:40I am your voice.
0:03:40 > 0:03:43This is Good Morning Mississippi Weekend.
0:03:57 > 0:03:59VOICEOVER: Life is a long time.
0:04:00 > 0:04:02Turn around.
0:04:02 > 0:04:06VOICEOVER: It's hard to fathom I'm spending more years in prison
0:04:06 > 0:04:09than I am in age right now.
0:04:10 > 0:04:14Fuck you! I'm the tough guy, brah. I'm the tough guy!
0:04:14 > 0:04:16You don't know why I'm in here, homeboy.
0:04:16 > 0:04:20I'm a gangbanger. This is what I do.
0:04:20 > 0:04:22I've been eating chumps like you since day one.
0:04:31 > 0:04:33The first time that I actually met Mercedes,
0:04:33 > 0:04:37I had went over to her house to smoke with her.
0:04:37 > 0:04:41She was tall, really skinny, had a flat stomach,
0:04:41 > 0:04:43had shoulder-length brown hair.
0:04:46 > 0:04:48She wouldn't sit next to me
0:04:48 > 0:04:52and I had her phone number, so I would text her across the room
0:04:52 > 0:04:56and I'd be like, "You know, you can sit next to me,"
0:04:56 > 0:04:59you know, because I thought she was just being shy.
0:04:59 > 0:05:01But I cared about Mercedes.
0:05:01 > 0:05:03We had fun together.
0:05:03 > 0:05:05We were just like a typical couple.
0:05:05 > 0:05:10I mean, you know when a relationship first starts out, it's always...
0:05:10 > 0:05:14Call it the puppy love stage, you're infatuated with the person.
0:05:16 > 0:05:18She had really soft lips.
0:05:28 > 0:05:30Imagine losing your best friend, your other half,
0:05:30 > 0:05:33the person you spend every day, every hour, every minute,
0:05:33 > 0:05:37every second with and there's nothing you can do about it.
0:05:37 > 0:05:41That was taken when we were 15.
0:05:41 > 0:05:43It was our freshman year.
0:05:45 > 0:05:50I still want to believe that she's going to come walking up
0:05:50 > 0:05:54and be like, "They got the wrong person, it's not me."
0:05:58 > 0:06:00She was so loving and sweet.
0:06:03 > 0:06:08The sunflower is because she's like my sunshine, you know?
0:06:10 > 0:06:12CHEERLEADERS CHANT
0:06:17 > 0:06:21I was the senior investigator on the case.
0:06:21 > 0:06:23This case was different from the start
0:06:23 > 0:06:27and it continued to take different twists and turns.
0:06:27 > 0:06:30You know, everybody in George County's a good Christian,
0:06:30 > 0:06:33people that love the country lifestyle
0:06:33 > 0:06:36and enjoys being around their family.
0:06:37 > 0:06:44The crime that took place involving Josh Vallum and Mercedes Williamson,
0:06:44 > 0:06:47it's not something that happens every day.
0:06:47 > 0:06:48Actually, it's the first time
0:06:48 > 0:06:51something like this has ever taken place.
0:07:00 > 0:07:03I'm an investigative reporter
0:07:03 > 0:07:06and I focus primarily on crime.
0:07:06 > 0:07:11This is an area that's very deep rooted in Christianity.
0:07:15 > 0:07:20It's funny how, you know, when I ride these roads and I think about,
0:07:20 > 0:07:23you know, these are the same roads that Josh rode.
0:07:24 > 0:07:26That's where Josh went to high school.
0:07:29 > 0:07:32You know, in death the best thing you can do
0:07:32 > 0:07:36is to write something that you hope will maybe
0:07:36 > 0:07:44do this person, who has been wronged, some justice,
0:07:44 > 0:07:45though it never really will.
0:07:45 > 0:07:47It's just words.
0:07:47 > 0:07:51I started writing about the case and I went to courts,
0:07:51 > 0:07:57trying to pick up affidavits to see if it would at least shed some light
0:07:57 > 0:07:59on who this victim was other than...
0:07:59 > 0:08:02Than just...
0:08:02 > 0:08:04the birth name.
0:08:07 > 0:08:12Mercedes kind of lived different lives in different scenarios.
0:08:15 > 0:08:17I had to know who Mercedes was.
0:08:19 > 0:08:21Cell five.
0:08:23 > 0:08:26VOICEOVER: It seemed like we had been dating longer than two months
0:08:26 > 0:08:29cos I'd go over there two or three times a week.
0:08:34 > 0:08:37I'd even stay the night, you know.
0:08:38 > 0:08:42And I had talked to her about having sex
0:08:42 > 0:08:45and she just said she wasn't ready yet.
0:08:47 > 0:08:51You know, I thought... Well, I mean, she's a good girl, you know?
0:08:52 > 0:08:55"I hope she's not saving herself for marriage," is what I was thinking!
0:09:01 > 0:09:04She would give me blow jobs to, I guess,
0:09:04 > 0:09:09appease my sexual appetite, but that was it.
0:09:10 > 0:09:12I thought that maybe Mercedes was a virgin.
0:09:17 > 0:09:20We're going to where Mercedes was living.
0:09:20 > 0:09:24High school friends, you know, they remember her
0:09:24 > 0:09:27as this fun, happy-go-lucky good friend.
0:09:27 > 0:09:30She had this other side to her
0:09:30 > 0:09:32that was all about making a buck.
0:09:35 > 0:09:39She had a 200-a-day crack habit.
0:09:41 > 0:09:43She did what she had to do to make money.
0:09:45 > 0:09:47That included prostitution.
0:09:53 > 0:09:55I'm over at a friend's house.
0:09:55 > 0:09:57I'm standing on the porch, smoking a cigarette,
0:09:57 > 0:10:00and I've seen Mercedes walking down the side of the road.
0:10:03 > 0:10:06I pop my head in the door and asked him.
0:10:06 > 0:10:09I was like, "Hey, man, I think I've just seen Mercedes."
0:10:09 > 0:10:12And he said, "Yeah, she's staying right around the corner."
0:10:12 > 0:10:15I mean, he told me she was staying at a crack house.
0:10:18 > 0:10:21I mean, I couldn't believe that she was doing drugs, but...
0:10:21 > 0:10:25She just didn't seem like that type of girl, but just goes to show,
0:10:25 > 0:10:27you never really know people.
0:11:17 > 0:11:19- Hey.- Hey!
0:11:19 > 0:11:22- How are you?- I'm fine, how are you?
0:11:22 > 0:11:23My name is Margaret.
0:11:23 > 0:11:25- Who?- Margaret.
0:11:25 > 0:11:27Hey, Margaret.
0:11:27 > 0:11:30Do you remember... Do you remember Mercedes?
0:11:30 > 0:11:31Yeah.
0:11:31 > 0:11:34Go! That's enough.
0:11:34 > 0:11:39- What did you think of Mercedes? - I liked her. I liked her, yeah.
0:11:40 > 0:11:42But I guess it took me about a week
0:11:42 > 0:11:44to figure out what was going on, you know?
0:11:44 > 0:11:46HE LAUGHS
0:11:46 > 0:11:47I never had a problem with her.
0:11:47 > 0:11:50In fact, she spent the night over here one night.
0:11:51 > 0:11:53I sleep on my couch most of the time.
0:11:53 > 0:11:55- Yeah.- She said she was having a problem, arguing and stuff.
0:11:55 > 0:11:59I said, "Go get in that bed back there in the back," and, you know,
0:11:59 > 0:12:00she spent the night here.
0:12:00 > 0:12:05And...got up the next morning, everything was fine.
0:12:05 > 0:12:07- We had breakfast.- Yeah.
0:12:07 > 0:12:08- Yeah.- But it was all good.
0:12:08 > 0:12:10But, no, I liked Mercedes.
0:12:10 > 0:12:13I liked Mercedes. Mercedes was a good person.
0:12:13 > 0:12:15And...
0:12:17 > 0:12:20I'd hate to see anybody say something bad about her,
0:12:20 > 0:12:21to tell you the truth,
0:12:21 > 0:12:24because I don't think she had a bad bone in her body.
0:12:30 > 0:12:32All right...
0:12:41 > 0:12:42This is where she slept.
0:12:42 > 0:12:45Get down! Get, get!
0:12:47 > 0:12:49We had a little party crowd,
0:12:49 > 0:12:51was what we had going on at that particular time.
0:12:51 > 0:12:53Mercedes was part of it.
0:12:53 > 0:12:55They'd bounce in here and bounce out.
0:12:55 > 0:12:57I had neighbours from down the road
0:12:57 > 0:13:00and they would all come down and party.
0:13:00 > 0:13:03I found out they were doing meth and stuff.
0:13:03 > 0:13:06I said, "Hey, don't even come on my property no more.
0:13:06 > 0:13:11"I don't allow that around here. I don't want nothing to do with it."
0:13:11 > 0:13:12Yeah.
0:13:12 > 0:13:17She liked to come in here and take pictures of herself.
0:13:27 > 0:13:30I don't know what happened, but...
0:13:31 > 0:13:35He stabbed her and he beat her over the head with a claw hammer.
0:13:35 > 0:13:37Man!
0:13:39 > 0:13:41You didn't have to tell me that.
0:13:41 > 0:13:42Man!
0:13:44 > 0:13:46Poor Mercedes.
0:13:46 > 0:13:48She didn't deserve that.
0:13:53 > 0:13:56I went and jumped in my car
0:13:56 > 0:14:00and drove up to her and rolled down my window and said, "Hey!"
0:14:00 > 0:14:04And she looked at me and she was a little shocked to see me.
0:14:04 > 0:14:06And I said, "You don't have any plans?"
0:14:06 > 0:14:08She said, "No." And I said, "Well, you do now. Get in."
0:14:08 > 0:14:10She was like, "What are we going to do?"
0:14:10 > 0:14:13I told her, "Well, we're going to go smoke some weed
0:14:13 > 0:14:15"and it's Saturday and my dad's probably going to be grilling,
0:14:15 > 0:14:20"so we'll go and have some ribs and some baked beans and potato salad,
0:14:20 > 0:14:23"the good old Southern meal, and we'll have sex."
0:14:23 > 0:14:26And she said, "OK."
0:14:26 > 0:14:27She said, "You're lucky you're hot."
0:14:27 > 0:14:30She said, "Not everybody can pull up
0:14:30 > 0:14:32"and just get me in a vehicle with them."
0:14:32 > 0:14:36On the way over there, I guess she got nervous.
0:14:36 > 0:14:37She...
0:14:39 > 0:14:43..asked me, she was like, "Is this a set-up?"
0:14:43 > 0:14:45And I pulled behind my dad's house.
0:14:45 > 0:14:46It was a nice, sunny day.
0:14:46 > 0:14:49It was warm. Nice, blue sky.
0:14:49 > 0:14:52I was thinking, "Hey, I'm about to get lucky."
0:14:56 > 0:14:57Didn't work out that way.
0:15:00 > 0:15:02The body was face down...
0:15:05 > 0:15:06..in a prone position
0:15:06 > 0:15:09and from the side and the top,
0:15:09 > 0:15:11I couldn't make an identification of who it was
0:15:11 > 0:15:15cos all that flesh had decomposed.
0:15:15 > 0:15:19There was a lot of insect activity around the head.
0:15:19 > 0:15:24I noticed on that foot was pink toenail polish.
0:15:25 > 0:15:29So I back up, I come back to the head.
0:15:30 > 0:15:33From this angle, I can see the tank top shirt
0:15:33 > 0:15:37the victim was wearing and the lip of the shirt
0:15:37 > 0:15:40that's here was down the shoulder
0:15:40 > 0:15:43and right here was an exposed bra strap.
0:15:43 > 0:15:47So, me and Mercedes were back behind the house and we're making out
0:15:47 > 0:15:53and, you know, I reach down between her legs and...
0:15:54 > 0:15:57..she has a penis.
0:15:57 > 0:15:59And I snap.
0:15:59 > 0:16:00And...
0:16:02 > 0:16:07..I jumped back and I yelled, you know, "What the hell was that?"
0:16:07 > 0:16:12And...Mercedes freaked out and jumped out of the vehicle.
0:16:12 > 0:16:16Well, I jumped out of the vehicle and ran around my car.
0:16:18 > 0:16:23And...I pulled out my pocket knife
0:16:23 > 0:16:26and I started stabbing Mercedes.
0:16:26 > 0:16:30CAMERA CLICKS
0:16:32 > 0:16:34She fell down
0:16:34 > 0:16:40and she got back up and I never stopped stabbing her.
0:16:40 > 0:16:41I was...
0:16:44 > 0:16:51..stabbing her in her back and her neck and her head and...
0:16:56 > 0:17:00She said, "Oh, my God, I'm dying.
0:17:00 > 0:17:02"I'm dying."
0:17:02 > 0:17:05And she...
0:17:07 > 0:17:09..lay down on the ground
0:17:09 > 0:17:11and she closed her eyes.
0:17:22 > 0:17:26I remember thinking to myself, "She's still breathing."
0:17:27 > 0:17:30Mercedes got up and started running
0:17:30 > 0:17:33and I looked in my trunk
0:17:33 > 0:17:36and there was a carpenter's hammer laying there.
0:17:36 > 0:17:39And I grabbed the hammer and I chased her through the woods
0:17:39 > 0:17:43and when I caught up to her, I hit her in the head with it -
0:17:43 > 0:17:46probably about three times.
0:17:48 > 0:17:49And that was it.
0:17:55 > 0:17:58I was on my way back to the crime scene
0:17:58 > 0:18:00and I got a phone call.
0:18:00 > 0:18:05They found out the victim indeed had a penis.
0:18:05 > 0:18:07So at that time, I was kind of like,
0:18:07 > 0:18:12"OK. This is going to be a little bit different."
0:18:14 > 0:18:16What's the motive for the crime?
0:18:16 > 0:18:19Is it a relationship that's gone bad?
0:18:19 > 0:18:22Is it a drug deal that's gone bad?
0:18:22 > 0:18:27Is it gang-related? Was she a prostitute and something happened?
0:18:27 > 0:18:29We don't know.
0:18:40 > 0:18:44I drove from my dad's house in George County
0:18:44 > 0:18:47to the Mississippi Gulf Coast.
0:18:47 > 0:18:49While I was driving, I was just screaming at myself.
0:18:49 > 0:18:51I couldn't believe what I'd done.
0:18:54 > 0:18:56I was still just freaked out.
0:18:56 > 0:18:58I didn't know what to do.
0:18:58 > 0:19:00I was just trying to calm myself down.
0:19:00 > 0:19:02I couldn't even listen to the radio.
0:19:03 > 0:19:06I rode in silence, just screaming at myself every now and then.
0:19:06 > 0:19:11I went down to the liquor store and I bought me a big bottle of vodka.
0:19:16 > 0:19:18When I seen that Mercedes was still breathing...
0:19:20 > 0:19:23..I could have stopped then and called an ambulance.
0:19:26 > 0:19:28I don't know why I didn't stop.
0:19:31 > 0:19:33My phone rang and it was my dad
0:19:33 > 0:19:37and he asked me, he said, "Where you at?"
0:19:37 > 0:19:41And I said, "Why?" And he said, "I want to know where you're at.
0:19:41 > 0:19:44"Where are you?" And I said, "I'm on the coast, why?"
0:19:44 > 0:19:47He said, "Well, it just came to my attention
0:19:47 > 0:19:50"that you showed up at my house Saturday covered in blood."
0:19:53 > 0:19:56And I told him, "Dad, I did something bad.
0:19:56 > 0:19:59"I did something wrong and I don't know what to do about it.
0:19:59 > 0:20:01"I'm freaked out."
0:20:03 > 0:20:04My dad told me,
0:20:04 > 0:20:06he said, "Son, you know you need to do the right thing."
0:20:06 > 0:20:09And I said, "Yeah, I know. I've been thinking about it."
0:20:10 > 0:20:14I know it sounds horrible to, you know,
0:20:14 > 0:20:17expect my dad to help me cover up something like that.
0:20:18 > 0:20:22And I'm not saying that I wished he would have,
0:20:22 > 0:20:26but I expected him to really say something more like, "It's OK,
0:20:26 > 0:20:29"we'll figure this out. We'll get through it,"
0:20:29 > 0:20:32not, "Hey, I'm going to call the sheriff."
0:20:32 > 0:20:35Very rare, you know, that somebody reports, you know,
0:20:35 > 0:20:40a homicide like this one as far as, you know,
0:20:40 > 0:20:42"My son's killed somebody."
0:20:42 > 0:20:43That's what you see on TV.
0:20:45 > 0:20:48Josh, he was willing to talk and tell us what took place
0:20:48 > 0:20:50and agreed to give us a statement.
0:20:54 > 0:20:56DOOR OPENS
0:20:57 > 0:20:59Hi, Josh.
0:21:05 > 0:21:08We go to kissing and, you know...
0:21:14 > 0:21:17- Just give me a minute. - Take your time.
0:21:19 > 0:21:21We were kissing.
0:21:21 > 0:21:23I was groping.
0:21:24 > 0:21:28And I felt something that wasn't supposed to be there.
0:21:28 > 0:21:30And I panicked.
0:21:32 > 0:21:35And... I know...
0:21:35 > 0:21:39I know... All that was going through my head at the time was, you know,
0:21:39 > 0:21:43"What...?" You know, "What the fuck?!"
0:21:43 > 0:21:46- Then I killed somebody.- Mm-hm.
0:21:48 > 0:21:51You know, you're sitting there, you're making out with somebody
0:21:51 > 0:21:53and you think they're a female
0:21:53 > 0:21:56and they haven't told you that they're not female
0:21:56 > 0:22:00and then you find out they're a male, you know, um...
0:22:01 > 0:22:02That makes it a crime of passion.
0:22:04 > 0:22:06And looking at the pictures, I'm kind of like,
0:22:06 > 0:22:08"Well, you know, it looked like a really attractive female."
0:22:08 > 0:22:13And so it kind of lent a little bit of credibility
0:22:13 > 0:22:14to what he was saying.
0:22:17 > 0:22:23I've never worked a homicide that involved a transgender victim
0:22:23 > 0:22:29and so it definitely kind of was a shock.
0:22:34 > 0:22:37But it doesn't change what you have to do.
0:22:39 > 0:22:46The police did not release, suggest or infer
0:22:46 > 0:22:53that this person who was dead was actually a transgender girl.
0:22:53 > 0:22:56The person that was found partially decomposed
0:22:56 > 0:23:01was a young man named Michael Christopher Wilkins.
0:23:17 > 0:23:20Michael first moved in with me when we were in sixth grade,
0:23:20 > 0:23:23we were about 12,
0:23:23 > 0:23:25cos his parents didn't want him.
0:23:25 > 0:23:29His dad would say certain stuff to him
0:23:29 > 0:23:31like, "You're not my son if you're gay.
0:23:31 > 0:23:35"I had a son when you were born, not a daughter.
0:23:35 > 0:23:37"I don't want a daughter, I want a son.
0:23:37 > 0:23:40"You're supposed to be my football player, not my cheerleader."
0:23:49 > 0:23:52We would come sit right out here and Michael would climb up
0:23:52 > 0:23:53and get on top of this lion
0:23:53 > 0:23:56and he would act like it was a horse and he would ride it.
0:23:57 > 0:24:00He was bullied - pushed around, knocked down, kicked,
0:24:00 > 0:24:02his stuff would be knocked out of his hands,
0:24:02 > 0:24:04his phone was stolen one time.
0:24:04 > 0:24:07Um... There were girls trying to fight him
0:24:07 > 0:24:09because he wanted to be a girl and he wasn't a girl.
0:24:09 > 0:24:11There were guys trying to fight him
0:24:11 > 0:24:13because he was a guy that wanted to be a girl
0:24:13 > 0:24:15and they all thought that Michael was trying to hit on them.
0:24:15 > 0:24:18That's why he stopped going to school, was cos of stuff like that.
0:24:19 > 0:24:21Michael would text Josh and be like,
0:24:21 > 0:24:24"Hey, come pick me up, I want to hang out."
0:24:25 > 0:24:27He would just come and pull up,
0:24:27 > 0:24:29Michael would get in and he'd go to the stop sign,
0:24:29 > 0:24:30he'd either turn or go straight.
0:24:32 > 0:24:34Michael loved Josh.
0:24:34 > 0:24:36Michael did everything for Josh.
0:24:36 > 0:24:39And he did nothing for Michael but take his life away.
0:24:44 > 0:24:47Mercedes, she was never accepted by her own family.
0:24:47 > 0:24:51They were... They were ashamed of who she was
0:24:51 > 0:24:55and she was punished and eventually, you know,
0:24:55 > 0:24:57she couldn't live there any more.
0:24:57 > 0:25:00She couldn't... She couldn't be around any of her family
0:25:00 > 0:25:03if she was dressed as Mercedes.
0:25:03 > 0:25:05That was not allowed.
0:25:07 > 0:25:09Her father would not accept it.
0:25:14 > 0:25:17It's Leviticus 18:22.
0:25:17 > 0:25:20"Thou shalt not lie with mankind as with womankind.
0:25:20 > 0:25:23"It is abomination.
0:25:23 > 0:25:26"But before they lay down, the men of the city, even the men of Sodom,
0:25:26 > 0:25:29"compassed the house round, both old and young, all the people..."
0:25:29 > 0:25:32In the beginning, God created Adam and Eve.
0:25:32 > 0:25:35He didn't create two men, he didn't create two women.
0:25:37 > 0:25:40Even in the Bible, it says that, you know,
0:25:40 > 0:25:43homosexuality is a sin punishable by death.
0:25:48 > 0:25:52I can't believe that for two months...
0:25:54 > 0:25:56..I was kissing...
0:25:56 > 0:26:03..a man, I was laying down with a man.
0:26:03 > 0:26:05I was holding hands with a man.
0:26:08 > 0:26:11I was getting blow jobs from a guy.
0:26:15 > 0:26:17I mean...
0:26:25 > 0:26:29It would be very viable in this community
0:26:29 > 0:26:35to have a defence of, you know, "I didn't know,
0:26:35 > 0:26:38"I thought I was with a girl."
0:26:39 > 0:26:43He's groping her and suddenly, he says, he feels...
0:26:43 > 0:26:46He actually called it "cock and balls," to me.
0:26:46 > 0:26:52"I see red, I feel a penis and...go nuts."
0:26:54 > 0:26:58A large portion of this state
0:26:58 > 0:27:02would completely understand and condone.
0:27:04 > 0:27:10If Josh had gone to trial and claimed that he had penis panic...
0:27:12 > 0:27:17..it wouldn't take but one or two jurors to get him off
0:27:17 > 0:27:20and I believe that could easily have happened.
0:27:24 > 0:27:26As a prosecutor,
0:27:26 > 0:27:28your job is not to put yourself in the shoes
0:27:28 > 0:27:31of a defendant or a victim,
0:27:31 > 0:27:34but it's almost impossible not to do that,
0:27:34 > 0:27:38in order to try to present your case effectively to a jury.
0:27:38 > 0:27:41We normally get called right after a body is discovered.
0:27:41 > 0:27:45I can remember the first details of the case coming out...
0:27:45 > 0:27:47..were kind of, you know, shocking.
0:27:47 > 0:27:50I think that was the first thing I remember asking myself -
0:27:50 > 0:27:53something just doesn't seem right about this.
0:27:53 > 0:27:56Normally, a person who is charged with first-degree murder
0:27:56 > 0:27:58does not usually plead guilty
0:27:58 > 0:28:01because the only sentence in Mississippi is life.
0:28:02 > 0:28:06And so a person would rather roll the dice at trial
0:28:06 > 0:28:10and maybe hope that they wouldn't get all 12 to agree
0:28:10 > 0:28:13that they're guilty or maybe hope for a lesser sentence
0:28:13 > 0:28:15on a manslaughter charge.
0:28:15 > 0:28:19There is actually several reasons why I pled guilty.
0:28:19 > 0:28:23I didn't want to drag my family and my friends into it
0:28:23 > 0:28:24that had been subpoenaed.
0:28:24 > 0:28:26My dad would have had to have listened
0:28:26 > 0:28:29to everything that they're going to say against me.
0:28:29 > 0:28:31I didn't want to have to hear it
0:28:31 > 0:28:33and I didn't want my dad and my brother
0:28:33 > 0:28:36and my friends to have to hear it.
0:28:36 > 0:28:38I killed Mercedes Williamson, sir.
0:28:40 > 0:28:43I think he was trying to prevent all of the information
0:28:43 > 0:28:46that we would put on at trial as evidence of guilt,
0:28:46 > 0:28:49I think he was trying to prevent all of that from coming out.
0:28:49 > 0:28:50And sentence you to life in prison
0:28:50 > 0:28:52in the Mississippi Department of Corrections.
0:28:52 > 0:28:54Court is adjourned, thank you.
0:28:54 > 0:28:55GAVEL BANGS
0:29:18 > 0:29:19My first impression is,
0:29:19 > 0:29:22"Hey, Josh made a mistake and is wanting to do the right thing
0:29:22 > 0:29:24"and he killed somebody in a crime of passion."
0:29:27 > 0:29:31The whole story was believable up to the point that, you know,
0:29:31 > 0:29:35there was that a-ha moment where something just doesn't sound right.
0:29:35 > 0:29:37Do you have a phone number?
0:29:37 > 0:29:40I don't have a phone any more.
0:29:40 > 0:29:42When... When...
0:29:42 > 0:29:45I didn't make this clear to y'all.
0:29:46 > 0:29:49I'm affiliated. You might know that.
0:29:49 > 0:29:52As time went on, he had slipped up in the interview
0:29:52 > 0:29:57and said that he was a high-ranking member of the Latin Kings
0:29:57 > 0:30:02and that's when we kind of homed in on, "OK, what is your role?"
0:30:02 > 0:30:07Is there anything that you may want to reveal
0:30:07 > 0:30:08about maybe the Latin Kings?
0:30:08 > 0:30:10- No.- Anything?- No.
0:30:10 > 0:30:12They had nothing to do with this...
0:30:12 > 0:30:14Yeah, I understand that.
0:30:14 > 0:30:16It shouldn't affect them whatsoever.
0:30:16 > 0:30:18- OK.- Um...
0:30:18 > 0:30:20I'm...I'm not a traitor.
0:30:24 > 0:30:26He's already confessed to murder,
0:30:26 > 0:30:29but whenever we asked him a certain question about the gangs,
0:30:29 > 0:30:31he's like, "I'm not talking any more.
0:30:31 > 0:30:34"I'm done talking."
0:30:34 > 0:30:37And that's when I knew something wasn't right.
0:30:37 > 0:30:39I'm trying not to conflict my morals.
0:30:39 > 0:30:41I've already done that by doing that.
0:30:41 > 0:30:43I told you, I wasn't going to...
0:30:43 > 0:30:47- OK.- I'm just trying to help, that's all I'm trying to do.
0:30:47 > 0:30:50He's lying. He's covering something up.
0:30:50 > 0:30:56I'm trying to find out who Mercedes is, so I can...
0:30:56 > 0:30:58They don't know her, though.
0:30:58 > 0:31:00They never met her.
0:31:00 > 0:31:05- OK.- I mean, no, none of my people ever met her.
0:31:07 > 0:31:10I've been a Latin King for ten years now
0:31:10 > 0:31:15and it is a part of who I am.
0:31:15 > 0:31:18It's changed me for the better.
0:31:18 > 0:31:20I don't know how to not be a Latin King.
0:31:24 > 0:31:26King Chaos.
0:31:26 > 0:31:29Our government calls it a gang.
0:31:32 > 0:31:34It's more like a religion to us.
0:31:34 > 0:31:37We strive for peace, freedom, justice, progress and prosperity.
0:31:39 > 0:31:41All of my friends are members of the nation.
0:31:43 > 0:31:46And I live Kingism every single day.
0:31:50 > 0:31:54It's always nice when I do run into one of my brothers in prison
0:31:54 > 0:31:57because it's like I have an instant family member right there.
0:32:00 > 0:32:03I think the gang was everything to Josh Vallum.
0:32:03 > 0:32:08He was in charge of a lot of different aspects of the gang.
0:32:08 > 0:32:11The crimes that I have seen committed
0:32:11 > 0:32:14by Latin King members have been violent.
0:32:15 > 0:32:21Armed robberies, home invasions, burglaries, murder.
0:32:21 > 0:32:24Some Latin King members try to portray the group
0:32:24 > 0:32:29as a group of individuals who do good in the community
0:32:29 > 0:32:35and maybe some do, but I've never encountered a Latin King bake sale.
0:32:35 > 0:32:38There was a violent tendency to the gang.
0:32:38 > 0:32:42KOS is a real term that they use - "kill on sight".
0:32:42 > 0:32:44It means just what it sounds like - kill on sight.
0:32:52 > 0:32:56I think when Josh joined that gang, you know,
0:32:56 > 0:33:00he just wanted to feel accepted into something.
0:33:03 > 0:33:06I had a pretty good childhood.
0:33:06 > 0:33:08I watched Disney movies up until I was about ten.
0:33:10 > 0:33:12So I guess I was kind of sheltered from the world
0:33:12 > 0:33:13a little bit, for a while.
0:33:15 > 0:33:17My mom, she was a good mom.
0:33:17 > 0:33:22She was really big on being the perfect housewife.
0:33:23 > 0:33:26This is at his third birthday party.
0:33:28 > 0:33:31I just made him a little cake.
0:33:33 > 0:33:36Things started going downhill when I got in middle school.
0:33:36 > 0:33:40My parents started drifting apart
0:33:40 > 0:33:42and, um...
0:33:45 > 0:33:47..my mom ended up going to prison.
0:33:49 > 0:33:53I just thought I could do a little bit of drugs, and I couldn't.
0:33:54 > 0:33:58The devil tells us and we have free will
0:33:58 > 0:34:02to either choose what God would have us to do
0:34:02 > 0:34:06or fall to the temptation, which is what I did.
0:34:08 > 0:34:12I always tried to make sure my children felt loved.
0:34:13 > 0:34:16But then again, you know, I had a drug problem.
0:34:21 > 0:34:24I think that he joined the gang
0:34:24 > 0:34:27so he could feel like he was a part of something bigger than himself.
0:34:27 > 0:34:32He didn't realise what he was actually getting into.
0:34:32 > 0:34:34But once you're in it, you can't get out.
0:34:38 > 0:34:41In this line of work, people lie to you.
0:34:41 > 0:34:43Even if they confess to a crime,
0:34:43 > 0:34:45they may not totally confess to the crime.
0:34:45 > 0:34:48They may tell you what they think you want to hear.
0:34:49 > 0:34:51We continued to do our investigation,
0:34:51 > 0:34:53trying to figure out what the motive was.
0:34:58 > 0:34:59I was travelling back to my office
0:34:59 > 0:35:02when I got a phone call from the FBI task force
0:35:02 > 0:35:08that informed me they had located Josh Vallum's car in Gautier.
0:35:09 > 0:35:11That's it, right there.
0:35:12 > 0:35:155656, right there.
0:35:15 > 0:35:16That's the house.
0:35:18 > 0:35:24The house was a known Latin Kings hang-out, possibly a headquarters.
0:35:24 > 0:35:26The SWAT team was called in.
0:35:27 > 0:35:34The SWAT team came across some Latin King gang literature, their Bible,
0:35:34 > 0:35:36how the organisation is set up.
0:35:36 > 0:35:39The dos and don'ts and things you can and cannot do.
0:35:40 > 0:35:44It was such an important piece of information and intelligence to get.
0:35:47 > 0:35:50One of the laws of this particular chapter
0:35:50 > 0:35:53of the Latin King street gang,
0:35:53 > 0:35:58number 21, is no members should be involved in homosexual activities.
0:35:58 > 0:36:00And, obviously, that was the law
0:36:00 > 0:36:03that Josh Vallum was most concerned about in this case.
0:36:06 > 0:36:09We're on Biloxi Beach.
0:36:09 > 0:36:12This is where Josh came.
0:36:12 > 0:36:16The Latin Kings, his gang, the gang he loved,
0:36:16 > 0:36:21this is where they would come and have their parties
0:36:21 > 0:36:23and he brings Mercedes here.
0:36:23 > 0:36:27She hangs out with the whole gang.
0:36:29 > 0:36:32It's crazy that he would think that it would be OK
0:36:32 > 0:36:36to bring a transgender girl.
0:36:36 > 0:36:41Chief among their bylaws - no homosexuality.
0:36:41 > 0:36:44It's not allowed. You pay a price if you do it.
0:36:44 > 0:36:46This is the gang.
0:36:46 > 0:36:52And right here is Josh arm in arm with Mercedes.
0:36:53 > 0:36:56They'll kill him for the very person he's standing beside.
0:36:59 > 0:37:00But I believe he loved her.
0:37:02 > 0:37:04And he wanted her to be a part of that family.
0:37:05 > 0:37:10Mercedes talked openly, in front of Josh, in front of friends,
0:37:10 > 0:37:13that, you know, she would be killed
0:37:13 > 0:37:18and he would too - if the gang found out.
0:37:18 > 0:37:21"The wrath of a King is as a messenger of death."
0:37:26 > 0:37:28She said that she went to a meeting.
0:37:28 > 0:37:33From what Michael told me, though, it was nothing but hate.
0:37:33 > 0:37:37Like, they didn't talk about anything nice.
0:37:37 > 0:37:44The gang was actually giving Josh negative vibes and stuff like that.
0:37:44 > 0:37:49They were catching on that Mercedes was Michael.
0:37:51 > 0:37:55Michael had told me if the gang finds out
0:37:55 > 0:38:00that Michael is a guy, then they would hurt him.
0:38:00 > 0:38:02That's what Josh told him.
0:38:06 > 0:38:08If I had known that Mercedes was a guy,
0:38:08 > 0:38:14I would have never, EVER brought Mercedes to meet any of my brothers.
0:38:16 > 0:38:18I mean, because that's a no-no.
0:38:18 > 0:38:20I mean, I was just... I was completely fooled.
0:38:20 > 0:38:23They were fooled. Nobody knew anything.
0:38:26 > 0:38:28In fact, somebody had indicated at the party to Josh
0:38:28 > 0:38:31that "your girlfriend has broad shoulders
0:38:31 > 0:38:33"and it looks like she has an Adam's apple,"
0:38:33 > 0:38:35and Josh actually made an excuse for it.
0:38:35 > 0:38:38I mean, one of my brothers said something, you know,
0:38:38 > 0:38:41"Hey, Mercedes has got some broad shoulders..."
0:38:43 > 0:38:45I mean, I had noticed, I was like,
0:38:45 > 0:38:47"You know, you kind of have some broad shoulders."
0:38:47 > 0:38:49"Oh, well, I've got hormone problems."
0:38:49 > 0:38:51I mean, that was what I was told.
0:38:51 > 0:38:55There's no doubt they were playing with fire.
0:38:58 > 0:39:04This is my old house that I lived at and Michael moved in with me.
0:39:06 > 0:39:07We would...
0:39:09 > 0:39:11..play with Barbies all the time.
0:39:11 > 0:39:12And I know that's pretty lame,
0:39:12 > 0:39:15but we did that every time we were bored.
0:39:15 > 0:39:18We would paint each other's nails, brush each other's hair.
0:39:18 > 0:39:19I'd straighten his hair all the time.
0:39:19 > 0:39:22I'd get him to do my make-up because he always looked flawless
0:39:22 > 0:39:26and I looked like a toddler drawing crayon on my face.
0:39:28 > 0:39:31There was plenty of times where Michael would tell me
0:39:31 > 0:39:33that Josh was coming to pick him up
0:39:33 > 0:39:37and he would park right over there, so Michael would leave the house,
0:39:37 > 0:39:40go meet up with Josh, they would go have sex
0:39:40 > 0:39:45and then they'd come back and Michael would tell me all about it.
0:39:45 > 0:39:47He would just be like, "You'll never guess how."
0:39:47 > 0:39:49And I'm like,
0:39:49 > 0:39:54"How, Michael?" He'd be like, "I was in his back seat, bent over."
0:39:54 > 0:39:56Josh would be like, "You can only imagine
0:39:56 > 0:39:58"all the things that I've done to Michael."
0:39:59 > 0:40:03And I would get grossed out, but he would just...
0:40:03 > 0:40:06Josh would just keep on and keep on throwing jokes at me about it
0:40:06 > 0:40:10and I'm just like, "You're going to make me sick, dude."
0:40:10 > 0:40:13That's all they ever talked about.
0:40:14 > 0:40:17Michael would show me pictures that Josh sent him
0:40:17 > 0:40:20and show me text messages that Josh would send him.
0:40:21 > 0:40:24Michael told me they had sex all the time.
0:40:24 > 0:40:26Every time they hung out, they had sex,
0:40:26 > 0:40:27that's what Michael would tell me.
0:40:27 > 0:40:31So I know for a fact that he's lying.
0:40:36 > 0:40:40I can understand that some people
0:40:40 > 0:40:47might be involved in a homosexual relationship and then...
0:40:49 > 0:40:52..become nervous or scared for some reason...
0:40:54 > 0:40:59..and react violently or do something.
0:40:59 > 0:41:02That's not what happened in my circumstances.
0:41:04 > 0:41:08It was like this person lied to me about who they were.
0:41:11 > 0:41:15Josh killed Mercedes because he was in violation of law number 21.
0:41:15 > 0:41:18He was engaged in a homosexual relationship.
0:41:18 > 0:41:22Not only that he was engaged in this relationship with Mercedes,
0:41:22 > 0:41:25but, you know, God forbid, he was in love with her.
0:41:26 > 0:41:30I am confident that Josh Vallum killed Mercedes
0:41:30 > 0:41:32because of his gang membership,
0:41:32 > 0:41:35because of what the Latin Kings stood for,
0:41:35 > 0:41:37because of what the Latin Kings believed
0:41:37 > 0:41:41and because of what he feared the Latin Kings may do to him.
0:41:44 > 0:41:45I'm not a cold-blooded killer.
0:41:47 > 0:41:51I'm not a hateful person.
0:41:51 > 0:41:53I mean, I'm friendly to everybody.
0:41:57 > 0:42:01And I've been made out to be this horrible person...
0:42:03 > 0:42:07..who killed somebody just because they were transsexual
0:42:07 > 0:42:10or because my gang ordered me to,
0:42:10 > 0:42:14to cover up... Whatever they're trying to say...
0:42:16 > 0:42:18They're trying to say so many different things,
0:42:18 > 0:42:21they can't even collaborate their story.
0:42:21 > 0:42:24They're saying that my gang ordered me to kill this person
0:42:24 > 0:42:26and then they're saying that I killed Mercedes
0:42:26 > 0:42:30to cover up a homosexual relationship.
0:42:30 > 0:42:32They don't even know what's going on.
0:42:37 > 0:42:40I'm not the person that I've been made out to be.
0:42:40 > 0:42:42Once we got more information,
0:42:42 > 0:42:45including the data download from his phone,
0:42:45 > 0:42:50we really felt like it was more of a planned murder.
0:42:50 > 0:42:53The phone just basically was a treasure trove
0:42:53 > 0:42:56of photographs of men's penises
0:42:56 > 0:43:00and pornographic websites that he went to,
0:43:00 > 0:43:05easily over 50 pictures of different males with their penises exposed
0:43:05 > 0:43:08and they were still on his phone, so when we do a data dump,
0:43:08 > 0:43:10we're able to collect all that data.
0:43:10 > 0:43:14So the fact that he did say trans panic or penis panic,
0:43:14 > 0:43:17you know, I just don't believe it.
0:43:20 > 0:43:23I think he was trying to prevent all of the information
0:43:23 > 0:43:26that we would put on at trial as evidence of guilt,
0:43:26 > 0:43:29I think he's trying to prevent all of that from coming out in the open
0:43:29 > 0:43:31even though much of it came out during the hearing.
0:43:40 > 0:43:43I've wrote my dad letters.
0:43:43 > 0:43:47I've pretty much just pleaded with him
0:43:47 > 0:43:54to please ignore all of the bad stuff that they're saying about me.
0:43:54 > 0:43:57Maybe I can have a chance to explain to him
0:43:57 > 0:44:00or talk to him a little bit about it.
0:44:00 > 0:44:04Because my dad's opinion of me is very important to me.
0:44:12 > 0:44:16Well, you know, I can never even get a picture of you again.
0:44:16 > 0:44:21Cameras are not allowed, I can never even get a picture of you.
0:44:21 > 0:44:23Ever.
0:44:28 > 0:44:34Well, you know, I really need pictures to kind of carry history.
0:44:34 > 0:44:37This is what they looked like when they were this age,
0:44:37 > 0:44:39what they looked like when they're this age
0:44:39 > 0:44:42when shit's over. Yeah.
0:44:42 > 0:44:45Everything that's coming out
0:44:45 > 0:44:50is assumptions that the district attorney has made
0:44:50 > 0:44:52in his wild imagination.
0:44:55 > 0:44:58So, what actually was read...
0:44:58 > 0:45:00I told you the FBI planted stuff on my phone.
0:45:01 > 0:45:07What they sent me, on them pictures and stuff, I didn't download.
0:45:07 > 0:45:12They have no way of proving that you actually downloaded that stuff
0:45:12 > 0:45:16on that phone, because that phone was not under your lock and key.
0:45:16 > 0:45:19..It's circumstantial.
0:45:19 > 0:45:24I guess they didn't feel like what I said held any weight
0:45:24 > 0:45:29or they... Cos the piece of paper said that they could submit me
0:45:29 > 0:45:31to a lie detector test and I said,
0:45:31 > 0:45:34"Why don't you just go ahead and hook me up to a lie detector?
0:45:34 > 0:45:37"That way, we ain't got to worry about nothing."
0:45:37 > 0:45:40"Well, we've got to go through all this protocol and procedures
0:45:40 > 0:45:42"and stuff, to do that."
0:45:46 > 0:45:51- I love you.- I love you too. - I'll try to help you the best I can.
0:45:55 > 0:45:57I guess Dad got upset.
0:45:57 > 0:46:00Oh, he just...
0:46:00 > 0:46:02He can only deal with it so much.
0:46:02 > 0:46:08- Yeah, I know.- So, I mean, he actually took it pretty hard.
0:46:08 > 0:46:10Yeah, I bet.
0:46:13 > 0:46:16VOICEOVER: Any time that I kind of try to talk about it,
0:46:16 > 0:46:18he wants to change the subject.
0:46:20 > 0:46:24I don't know if it's because he's disgusted by me
0:46:24 > 0:46:27or by what happened. I mean, I just don't know.
0:46:41 > 0:46:44Nobody knows what's going to happen in prison from day-to-day.
0:46:46 > 0:46:49But I am cautious and worried.
0:46:52 > 0:46:58Expecting my brothers to react a certain way to me
0:46:58 > 0:47:01and having them react in a totally different way
0:47:01 > 0:47:05if they believe that I'm a homosexual.
0:47:07 > 0:47:08It's going to be really hard for me.
0:47:12 > 0:47:15I mean, it depends on who I'm around and where I'm at.
0:47:15 > 0:47:20But because of the bad light that this has shed on the nation,
0:47:20 > 0:47:24they might feel that, you know, more punishment is necessary.
0:47:24 > 0:47:26Cowboy long way, bro.
0:47:26 > 0:47:29One time. Ace-deuce to the world, bro. Let's rock.
0:47:29 > 0:47:32- INTERVIEWER:- Do you think your life might be in danger?
0:47:53 > 0:47:56I really can't answer that question.
0:48:24 > 0:48:28After Mercedes was killed and cremated,
0:48:28 > 0:48:34the father just said, you know, "Here, you can have the ashes.
0:48:34 > 0:48:37"Can't afford a memorial service. We're just not doing that."
0:48:39 > 0:48:43Her remains are still sitting in a box,
0:48:43 > 0:48:47a little black box at a friend's house.
0:48:49 > 0:48:53Even her friends, some had set up a memorial page for her,
0:48:53 > 0:48:57and, you know, they did not dare want to speak
0:48:57 > 0:49:00about who Mercedes was.
0:49:00 > 0:49:03So everybody kind of lives in a shell.
0:49:05 > 0:49:12There are people that are members of this community
0:49:12 > 0:49:19that, you know, are gay, but they're still good and decent people.
0:49:20 > 0:49:25It's not an easy life if you're different in the South.
0:49:28 > 0:49:29I'm different.
0:49:30 > 0:49:33And I'm just trying to live my life - like everybody else.
0:49:42 > 0:49:45He begins to flood your life with His mercy.
0:49:45 > 0:49:49He begins to flood your life with His grace.
0:49:49 > 0:49:52All that stuff that the devil tried to destroy in your life,
0:49:52 > 0:49:55God is now restoring those things.
0:50:01 > 0:50:04Father, I thank you for my sister, Lord.
0:50:04 > 0:50:07She's interceding and standing in for her son.
0:50:08 > 0:50:12Lord, well, there are so many people going to jail
0:50:12 > 0:50:16- and by a miracle come out... - Yes, Lord.
0:50:16 > 0:50:18So while he's in there, don't let him go.
0:50:18 > 0:50:20Be strong and powerful.
0:50:20 > 0:50:24Make the devil hate that he ever even messed with you.
0:50:24 > 0:50:27HE SINGS AN EXTENDED NOTE
0:50:29 > 0:50:31APPLAUSE
0:50:34 > 0:50:39God's word says it is a sin for a man to be with a man.
0:50:39 > 0:50:43He says, in the end times, men will be with men,
0:50:43 > 0:50:44women will be with women
0:50:44 > 0:50:47and all kinds of perversions will be going on.
0:50:49 > 0:50:54I asked Josh, I said, "Josh, look, I will love you no matter what.
0:50:54 > 0:50:56"My love for you is unconditional."
0:50:56 > 0:50:59You know, "If for some reason you were,
0:50:59 > 0:51:01"or if you went both ways or whatever," you know,
0:51:01 > 0:51:03"I would pray for you.
0:51:03 > 0:51:06"I would not like it, but it would not change my love
0:51:06 > 0:51:09"and respect for you anyway as a person."
0:51:09 > 0:51:11He's like, "Mom, I am NOT gay!"
0:51:11 > 0:51:13So, you know...
0:51:14 > 0:51:17I believe him, you know? I know my son.
0:51:23 > 0:51:26All this is part of the enemy's plan.
0:51:26 > 0:51:32It's all pain and misery
0:51:32 > 0:51:37and on the other side of the fence is God's love.
0:51:40 > 0:51:43We are just a vapour in the wind here, you know,
0:51:43 > 0:51:44or that's how long our life is.
0:51:44 > 0:51:47It's nothing, it's like a flower
0:51:47 > 0:51:49blooming and dying in a week, to God.
0:51:49 > 0:51:51You know? And so...
0:51:52 > 0:51:54..if he gets to heaven...
0:51:54 > 0:51:59Jake, too. That's all I want - is for my children to get to heaven.
0:52:09 > 0:52:12Being alone with myself and my thoughts...
0:52:14 > 0:52:18..and the fact that I killed somebody...
0:52:19 > 0:52:20..that I used to care about...
0:52:23 > 0:52:25..it was too much for me
0:52:25 > 0:52:29and I tried to hang myself in my cell.
0:52:35 > 0:52:38I was hearing her voice and I could smell...
0:52:41 > 0:52:45..this sickly sweet smell, like a dead body,
0:52:45 > 0:52:49and I'd look up and Mercedes would be standing over me.
0:52:56 > 0:52:58And I couldn't take it.
0:53:01 > 0:53:03She had...
0:53:05 > 0:53:07She had maggots coming out of her mouth.
0:53:11 > 0:53:15Her lips were peeled back away from her teeth and stuff,
0:53:15 > 0:53:18like she was partially decomposed.
0:53:25 > 0:53:27"I'm never going to let you live this down.
0:53:27 > 0:53:29"You killed me.
0:53:29 > 0:53:31"I'm going to haunt you forever.
0:53:34 > 0:53:36"I'm going to haunt you forever."
0:53:39 > 0:53:42I mean, what is it like to live the rest of your life
0:53:42 > 0:53:46knowing that you killed somebody that cared about you
0:53:46 > 0:53:49and the fact of the matter is is that you cared about them?
0:53:50 > 0:53:52They didn't trick you.
0:53:52 > 0:53:54You just couldn't accept who you are.
0:53:56 > 0:54:01He hated who HE was and by extension he hated her,
0:54:01 > 0:54:04even though he loved her, too.
0:54:05 > 0:54:07MUSIC: Love & Hate by Michael Kiwanuka
0:54:07 > 0:54:10# Love and hate
0:54:10 > 0:54:14# How much more are we supposed to tolerate?
0:54:16 > 0:54:20# Can't you see there's more to me than my mistakes?
0:54:20 > 0:54:26# Sometimes I get this feeling makes me hesitate
0:54:30 > 0:54:32# I believe
0:54:32 > 0:54:39# She won't take me somewhere I'm not supposed to be
0:54:39 > 0:54:43# You can't steal the things that God has given me
0:54:45 > 0:54:49# No more pain and no more shame and misery
0:54:52 > 0:54:55# You can't take me down
0:54:55 > 0:54:58# You can't break me down
0:54:58 > 0:55:00# You can't take me down
0:55:04 > 0:55:06# You can't break me down
0:55:06 > 0:55:09# You can't take me down
0:55:09 > 0:55:12# You can't break me down
0:55:16 > 0:55:21# I can see a place of trouble
0:55:21 > 0:55:24# And I'm on the verge
0:55:27 > 0:55:31# For the love of everybody
0:55:31 > 0:55:34# I did something wrong... #