0:00:02 > 0:00:03We all expect things from people we love.
0:00:03 > 0:00:06If you've got someone that you can lean on...
0:00:07 > 0:00:09..that's all you need from a mum.
0:00:09 > 0:00:14This programme contains some strong language and some scenes which some viewers may find upsetting.
0:00:14 > 0:00:16I believe the role of a father is to be supportive, caring,
0:00:16 > 0:00:19protective...erm, someone who would guide his children.
0:00:19 > 0:00:24A boyfriend should be there for you...no matter what.
0:00:25 > 0:00:27So how do you cope
0:00:27 > 0:00:31when someone close to you is locked up for committing a terrible crime?
0:00:31 > 0:00:33I didn't want to get up, I didn't want to see nobody.
0:00:33 > 0:00:35I felt my whole world was destroyed.
0:00:35 > 0:00:36Hi, guys, I'm Amy.
0:00:36 > 0:00:38Mum's been in prison.
0:00:38 > 0:00:41When he was last out of prison I did go a bit off the rails.
0:00:41 > 0:00:45I just hope we can...build our relationship back again.
0:00:45 > 0:00:50This film follows the stories of four extraordinary young women
0:00:50 > 0:00:54whose lives are turned upside down by having a loved one behind bars.
0:00:54 > 0:00:57He was asleep, and she just went downstairs,
0:00:57 > 0:00:59got a knife and...stabbed him.
0:00:59 > 0:01:02Filmed over 18 months, their lives take dramatic turns.
0:01:02 > 0:01:06That makes me look like a right...dirty person, really.
0:01:06 > 0:01:10'However you paint it, she killed someone. I don't care what anyone says.'
0:01:10 > 0:01:13No-one has the right to do that. No-one.
0:01:13 > 0:01:16As they face the challenges of loving someone
0:01:16 > 0:01:18on the wrong side of the law.
0:01:18 > 0:01:21No crime is worth committing if you know what you'll miss out on.
0:01:21 > 0:01:24If you have a family.
0:01:24 > 0:01:26Woman kills man.
0:01:26 > 0:01:28No, mother kills man.
0:01:34 > 0:01:38WOMAN SINGS CLASSICAL PIECE
0:01:50 > 0:01:56This is Amy. She's 18 and studying music and English at university.
0:01:56 > 0:01:59Four years ago her mum was convicted of manslaughter.
0:01:59 > 0:02:02Amy hasn't wanted to see her since.
0:02:06 > 0:02:10Social worker's like..."So, do you want to see your mum?"
0:02:10 > 0:02:14"No, thank you." "Are you sure?" "I'm really sure," I would go.
0:02:14 > 0:02:17And the next time, "Do you want to see your mum?"
0:02:17 > 0:02:24It's like...I think I have every right to decide not to see her.
0:02:27 > 0:02:30Amy has just started her first term at university
0:02:30 > 0:02:32and is living in a room on campus.
0:02:32 > 0:02:36I've always been this kind of weird girl...
0:02:36 > 0:02:38who's got a messed-up family and everything.
0:02:38 > 0:02:43You start uni and then... it's all I am now, I'm just myself.
0:02:43 > 0:02:48I've been waiting for a long time to be...just me.
0:02:48 > 0:02:51That, with the double chin, is my boyfriend.
0:02:51 > 0:02:55Erm...it's a really unfortunate shot of him!
0:02:55 > 0:02:58That's my budget! Well, it's meant to be at least.
0:03:00 > 0:03:03You're a bit of a bookworm, aren't you? What do you like about reading?
0:03:03 > 0:03:05You get away.
0:03:05 > 0:03:09You don't have to think about anything when you read, do you? Just...
0:03:09 > 0:03:15I like, erm, yeah, fairy-tales and...magic and everything.
0:03:16 > 0:03:20- What do you like about Disney? - Happy endings.
0:03:20 > 0:03:24Same with the books. Everything's good in Disney.
0:03:24 > 0:03:25Always ends up good.
0:03:27 > 0:03:30You can't have a bad ending in Disney.
0:03:30 > 0:03:33Apart from Lion King, when Mufasa dies, but even that ends up OK.
0:03:33 > 0:03:36So it's all right! No, I like happy endings.
0:03:36 > 0:03:39Everything should have happy endings.
0:03:41 > 0:03:44I was quite young here as well. This was in Tobago.
0:03:44 > 0:03:46No, it wasn't. Cyprus.
0:03:46 > 0:03:51- That's Nigel there.- Is that you? - Yeah! In the middle.
0:03:51 > 0:03:53These were HER photos.
0:03:54 > 0:03:57'All the arguments between our mum and Nigel.'
0:03:57 > 0:04:02It's like Wuthering Heights. They have, er, Cathy and Heathcliff.
0:04:04 > 0:04:06I have no doubt that they loved each other
0:04:06 > 0:04:09but it was just... it was an awful relationship.
0:04:11 > 0:04:14They hated each other as much as they loved each other.
0:04:14 > 0:04:19And they couldn't... Because of that, I think it was because...
0:04:19 > 0:04:22they hated each other so much, they didn't know what to do with it.
0:04:22 > 0:04:25But, at the same time, doesn't matter how you paint it,
0:04:25 > 0:04:26she killed someone.
0:04:27 > 0:04:29I don't care what anyone says.
0:04:29 > 0:04:32No-one has the right to do that.
0:04:32 > 0:04:34No-one.
0:04:42 > 0:04:48This is Leanne. She's 22 and lives in Leicester with her two sons.
0:04:48 > 0:04:50You fell over again!
0:04:50 > 0:04:53Leanne's boyfriend of four years and father to the boys
0:04:53 > 0:04:56is currently on remand in Leicester Prison.
0:04:56 > 0:04:58The first thing that attracted me to him...
0:04:58 > 0:05:03when he was younger he looked like Lampard. Frank Lampard!
0:05:03 > 0:05:04He doesn't any more.
0:05:04 > 0:05:07Erm...that's made me go really red!
0:05:09 > 0:05:14Oh, there's a picture of me and Kyle before we had the baby.
0:05:14 > 0:05:16Erm...
0:05:16 > 0:05:20he's always wanted to have him in his hands.
0:05:21 > 0:05:26Showing an interest in Manchester United.
0:05:26 > 0:05:31He's never the kind to get into trouble. That's what I've always liked about him.
0:05:31 > 0:05:33He's never really been, like, a violent type or...
0:05:33 > 0:05:35or controlling or anything like that.
0:05:35 > 0:05:38So I never thought I'd be in any sort of...
0:05:41 > 0:05:44..any sort of problems, really, with him.
0:05:44 > 0:05:47But just a few months ago Kyle violently attacked another man
0:05:47 > 0:05:49in a fit of rage.
0:05:49 > 0:05:52When I found out what he'd done I was really shocked.
0:05:52 > 0:05:53Really, really shocked.
0:05:55 > 0:06:00I never thought that Kyle would ever end up...hurting someone in that way.
0:06:00 > 0:06:03As well as coming to terms with Kyle's crime,
0:06:03 > 0:06:05Leanne's also had to adapt to life as a single mum,
0:06:05 > 0:06:08looking after Riley, four, and Tyler
0:06:08 > 0:06:11who was born only 8 weeks ago.
0:06:14 > 0:06:17Riley, don't hit, it's not nice.
0:06:17 > 0:06:20Riley.
0:06:20 > 0:06:22I think Riley misses Kyle loads.
0:06:22 > 0:06:24Loads.
0:06:24 > 0:06:26So many times,
0:06:26 > 0:06:28he wants his daddy.
0:06:28 > 0:06:29This little piggy had beef.
0:06:29 > 0:06:33This little piggy did this, that little piggy did that.
0:06:33 > 0:06:38And this little piggy went, "Wee, wee, wee, all the way home!"
0:06:38 > 0:06:41'It used to be nice watching them always play together,
0:06:41 > 0:06:44'watching them do things, watching them bond.
0:06:44 > 0:06:46'And when he's been upset,'
0:06:46 > 0:06:50when I've told him off about something he says, "I want my daddy!"
0:06:50 > 0:06:53'I remember on Riley's first birthday
0:06:53 > 0:06:57'they were managing to throw a ball to each other.
0:06:57 > 0:06:59'It was really sweet. I've got a little video of it.'
0:06:59 > 0:07:00Hey!
0:07:00 > 0:07:04'He won't be able to do that with Tyler on his first birthday.'
0:07:04 > 0:07:06Ready? Wahey!
0:07:07 > 0:07:10A dad needs to be there for their children.
0:07:10 > 0:07:13'I was majorly disappointed in him.
0:07:13 > 0:07:16'Majorly. I didn't think'
0:07:16 > 0:07:18that he'd ever...
0:07:18 > 0:07:20use a weapon in any way.
0:07:24 > 0:07:26Leanne's mum
0:07:26 > 0:07:29and her mum's partner come over regularly to offer support.
0:07:29 > 0:07:31'We bring some food round.
0:07:31 > 0:07:35'We've been doing some decorating as well.'
0:07:35 > 0:07:38It's tough. I was a single parent myself, with three of them,
0:07:38 > 0:07:40so it's tough.
0:07:40 > 0:07:42I know she needs the support.
0:07:42 > 0:07:45I worry about you,
0:07:45 > 0:07:47so I'll be pestering you, almost.
0:07:47 > 0:07:50Are you all right? Anything you do - "ar-ar-ar!"
0:07:50 > 0:07:53I think it's going to be quite difficult, to start with.
0:07:53 > 0:07:56I want somebody to love her and treat her like a princess.
0:07:56 > 0:07:59That's what I have got and...
0:08:01 > 0:08:06Yeah, I want somebody to treasure her and treat her...
0:08:07 > 0:08:09Somebody who's there for her.
0:08:12 > 0:08:15'Mum's not a great fan of Kyle,'
0:08:15 > 0:08:18but I think when it comes to mums and daughters,
0:08:18 > 0:08:21it's always, like, "I want the best for my daughter,
0:08:21 > 0:08:24' "and I want her to be treated like a princess
0:08:24 > 0:08:26' "and get everything that she wants."
0:08:26 > 0:08:28'But life's not like that,
0:08:28 > 0:08:32'so I think they have to kind of accept that.'
0:08:32 > 0:08:37You know, no-one's ever good enough for someone's daughter, are they?
0:08:38 > 0:08:42RILEY: Four, five, six. LEANNE: Yeah!
0:08:42 > 0:08:45Kyle's been in prison on remand
0:08:45 > 0:08:47since the night of the assault.
0:08:47 > 0:08:50In less than a week, he will be sentenced at court.
0:08:50 > 0:08:52Only then will Leanne find out
0:08:52 > 0:08:55exactly how long she faces without him.
0:08:55 > 0:08:56I remember saying to Kyle,
0:08:56 > 0:08:58"Well, there's nothing set in stone,
0:08:58 > 0:09:00"because until I know what you're getting sentenced,
0:09:00 > 0:09:04"I can't promise that I'm going to be there for you, after.
0:09:04 > 0:09:10"It's only after sentencing can I say that yeah, I'll be there, or no,
0:09:10 > 0:09:11"I won't."
0:09:11 > 0:09:14BABY TYLER CRIES
0:09:14 > 0:09:19I hate the waiting game, that's what I hate. It's what drives you mental.
0:09:19 > 0:09:21I am extremely nervous
0:09:21 > 0:09:23and I'm anxious.
0:09:24 > 0:09:26Worried.
0:09:26 > 0:09:31It determines what's going to happen over the next few years.
0:09:31 > 0:09:34Not days or weeks or months, it's years.
0:09:47 > 0:09:50This is Catia. She's 17 years old,
0:09:50 > 0:09:54studies childcare at college and lives with her mum in Slough.
0:09:54 > 0:09:57She's been seeing her boyfriend, Jed, for about a year.
0:09:57 > 0:09:59My first impressions was that he was really sexy
0:09:59 > 0:10:01and I quite liked his personality.
0:10:01 > 0:10:05He seemed really, like, genuine. His eyes are just so nice,
0:10:05 > 0:10:07but it's not just his eyes, obviously, like,
0:10:07 > 0:10:09it's just him all over.
0:10:09 > 0:10:1221-year-old Jed is a serial offender
0:10:12 > 0:10:15with over a dozen prison sentences in the last five years,
0:10:15 > 0:10:20including convictions for drugs, weapons and violent assault.
0:10:20 > 0:10:23They met just as Jed had been released from prison
0:10:23 > 0:10:26and within weeks he was back inside for committing commercial burglary.
0:10:26 > 0:10:29We've been going out for nearly a year.
0:10:29 > 0:10:33He's been out of prison two of those months.
0:10:33 > 0:10:37But, because of all the letters and phone calls and things we talk about,
0:10:37 > 0:10:40we do feel really close.
0:10:41 > 0:10:45"To my baby girl. I just wanted to send you this card,
0:10:45 > 0:10:48"to let you know how much I adore you and that I will always love you
0:10:48 > 0:10:50"and to me you are perfect in every single way.
0:10:50 > 0:10:52"With all my love
0:10:52 > 0:10:54"and may we spend the rest of our lives together.
0:10:54 > 0:10:55"Love you for ever and ever.
0:10:55 > 0:10:59"Your Nelly." I nicknamed him Nelly.
0:10:59 > 0:11:01Smiley face and loads of kisses.
0:11:01 > 0:11:03That made me smile.
0:11:03 > 0:11:05I think I had a tear in my eye when I saw that.
0:11:05 > 0:11:08I can see peoples' point of view when they do question,
0:11:08 > 0:11:12is it true love? Because he's in and out of prison you're not always together. But it is true love.
0:11:12 > 0:11:15That's how I feel, that's how he feels. That's how it is.
0:11:15 > 0:11:20Only she knows and only he knows whether it's true love or not.
0:11:20 > 0:11:22I have no idea.
0:11:22 > 0:11:25If they're still together in ten years,
0:11:25 > 0:11:28then I'll say, "Yeah, it was love."
0:11:28 > 0:11:30Until then, nah.
0:11:30 > 0:11:33Catia's mum has never met Jed
0:11:33 > 0:11:36and has concerns for when he's released next month.
0:11:36 > 0:11:40So when did you actually find out he had been in and out of prison?
0:11:40 > 0:11:45A couple of weeks after the first time I met him, like, proper,
0:11:45 > 0:11:48and he just explained a couple of things he'd done -
0:11:48 > 0:11:51burglary, possession of drugs, weapon...
0:11:51 > 0:11:52Bullshit.
0:11:52 > 0:11:56He's not a murderer and he's not... nothing else.
0:11:56 > 0:11:58Fair enough, but he's still a criminal.
0:11:58 > 0:12:01There's loads of people out there don't go to prison,
0:12:01 > 0:12:03- don't go around burgling people's houses.- Like who?
0:12:03 > 0:12:08- Like who?- Because when you live in Lismore, Rico...- Me!
0:12:08 > 0:12:09You're my uncle(!)
0:12:09 > 0:12:12I know, but you know what I'm saying.
0:12:10 > 0:12:12PHONE PINGS
0:12:12 > 0:12:14Lots of young men out there have never, ever
0:12:14 > 0:12:16and probably never will be, in trouble.
0:12:16 > 0:12:19They're the ones that go to university, ones I can't be with
0:12:19 > 0:12:22- because they're so wrapped up in geography.- No, not really.
0:12:22 > 0:12:24'I probably am attracted to bad boys.'
0:12:24 > 0:12:26I wouldn't like a geeky boy.
0:12:26 > 0:12:29But then I don't really want a man that's in and out of prison.
0:12:29 > 0:12:33When I first heard that Catia was seeing a criminal,
0:12:33 > 0:12:35I was really upset.
0:12:35 > 0:12:38Anybody would be, wouldn't they?
0:12:38 > 0:12:39It's a nightmare, isn't it?
0:12:39 > 0:12:41The things that worry me,
0:12:41 > 0:12:44is Cat turning into a criminal and following in his footsteps.
0:12:44 > 0:12:46You know, you are who you hang around with.
0:12:46 > 0:12:48If you hang round with a load of nutters,
0:12:48 > 0:12:50you're going to end up a nutter.
0:12:50 > 0:12:52His reputation is being a jailbird,
0:12:52 > 0:12:55in and out of prison,
0:12:55 > 0:12:57the local thug.
0:12:57 > 0:12:59I think, at first, it put me off a little bit,
0:12:59 > 0:13:01because I couldn't see my life being with someone like that,
0:13:01 > 0:13:03but I got to know him and I thought,
0:13:03 > 0:13:07"He sounds like he wants to help himself get out of that situation,"
0:13:07 > 0:13:10and it'll be good for someone like me to help him,
0:13:10 > 0:13:13someone not in that situation, to help him get out of it.
0:13:13 > 0:13:16If I love him that much then I want to help him, which I do.
0:13:26 > 0:13:31In London, Amy has finished her first term at university.
0:13:35 > 0:13:40She's travelling back home to her Aunt Cassie's house in Kent.
0:13:41 > 0:13:44Cassie is Amy's mum's sister...
0:13:44 > 0:13:46Hello!
0:13:46 > 0:13:49..and she's looked after Amy and her two younger siblings
0:13:49 > 0:13:52since their mum was arrested four years ago.
0:13:52 > 0:13:56I'm not Mum, but I had to take on that mum role.
0:13:56 > 0:13:58How cool was that in the car earlier?
0:13:58 > 0:13:59'She still comes back every weekend.
0:13:59 > 0:14:02'She still treats this place like a home.
0:14:02 > 0:14:05'Hopefully, she's had enough stability'
0:14:05 > 0:14:07to cushion any damage
0:14:07 > 0:14:10that may have been done.
0:14:15 > 0:14:17Amy's mum and her stepdad, Nigel,
0:14:17 > 0:14:20were together for most of Amy's childhood.
0:14:20 > 0:14:22This was the collage we made.
0:14:22 > 0:14:25Me and Shaun made this, for Nigel.
0:14:37 > 0:14:39Both parents were heavy drinkers
0:14:39 > 0:14:42and their relationship was turbulent.
0:14:42 > 0:14:43Always arguing...
0:14:43 > 0:14:45Bookcases down the stairs.
0:14:45 > 0:14:48I remember at Christmas, the police came Christmas Eve
0:14:48 > 0:14:50and our TVs were downstairs.
0:14:50 > 0:14:53They'd been, like, thrown down the stairs, or something.
0:14:54 > 0:14:56Or...
0:14:56 > 0:15:00like, glass in the front door being punched in.
0:15:00 > 0:15:03The painting I did here -
0:15:03 > 0:15:06very minimalist!
0:15:06 > 0:15:09It was a birthday present for both of them.
0:15:09 > 0:15:13- For who?- Nigel and my mum, their birthdays are three days apart.
0:15:16 > 0:15:19"I got you a joint pressie. I did it myself, so it's not perfect.
0:15:19 > 0:15:21"Have a good birthday."
0:15:28 > 0:15:30The house that Amy and her family lived in
0:15:30 > 0:15:33is only round the corner from where she lives now.
0:15:35 > 0:15:37I don't know. It's one of those things
0:15:37 > 0:15:41that I wouldn't go out of my way to walk past.
0:15:41 > 0:15:44There's always other routes, isn't there?
0:15:46 > 0:15:48The lighter coloured, the second one along,
0:15:48 > 0:15:51that's our house - WAS our house.
0:15:51 > 0:15:53And the window, that was my bedroom.
0:15:57 > 0:15:59That was our mum's room,
0:15:59 > 0:16:02that one, Mum's and Nigel's.
0:16:05 > 0:16:07Not a nice feeling.
0:16:10 > 0:16:12'He was asleep.'
0:16:12 > 0:16:15They were in bed and he was asleep
0:16:15 > 0:16:17and she just got up
0:16:17 > 0:16:19and went downstairs and got the knife.
0:16:21 > 0:16:23Stabbed him in his sleep.
0:16:35 > 0:16:37It's just cold.
0:16:40 > 0:16:42"A woman has been charged with murder
0:16:42 > 0:16:45"after a man was found dead at a house in Chatham.
0:16:45 > 0:16:48"She will appear before Medway magistrates today.
0:16:48 > 0:16:51"Blinds were drawn yesterday at the house now at the centre
0:16:51 > 0:16:53"of a murder inquiry."
0:16:54 > 0:16:57Yeah, I felt empty.
0:17:00 > 0:17:02Really empty.
0:17:05 > 0:17:10Seasoned with shame. I'll just put that in there!
0:17:13 > 0:17:15After Amy's mum was arrested,
0:17:15 > 0:17:18the murder charge was changed to manslaughter
0:17:18 > 0:17:20on the grounds of diminished responsibility.
0:17:24 > 0:17:27Amy's mum was moved to a secure psychiatric hospital,
0:17:27 > 0:17:31where she is currently serving an indefinite sentence.
0:17:31 > 0:17:34Amy has never visited her.
0:17:42 > 0:17:43Leanne's boyfriend, Kyle,
0:17:43 > 0:17:47has pleaded guilty to a serious knife attack.
0:17:47 > 0:17:50Not long ago I got my hair done
0:17:50 > 0:17:52and I told the hairdresser
0:17:52 > 0:17:56and I said, "What would you do if it was your partner?"
0:17:56 > 0:17:59She said, "I don't think I'd be able to stick by him,"
0:17:59 > 0:18:01because...
0:18:01 > 0:18:03well...
0:18:03 > 0:18:07didn't think your boyfriend would be capable of something like that.
0:18:07 > 0:18:09Since he's been in prison,
0:18:09 > 0:18:12the background of the case has been made public.
0:18:13 > 0:18:16My phone rang and it was his mum
0:18:16 > 0:18:17and she rang to say,
0:18:17 > 0:18:21"He's got a big photo of him in the paper."
0:18:21 > 0:18:23God!
0:18:28 > 0:18:30I just don't want to see his face somewhere.
0:18:30 > 0:18:33It's just going to pop out. Oh, God!
0:18:33 > 0:18:35It's there.
0:18:35 > 0:18:37Look, oh, he looks awful!
0:18:38 > 0:18:40Oh, my God!
0:18:43 > 0:18:47"Kyle Saddington, 23, armed himself with a hammer
0:18:47 > 0:18:51"and went to the victim's home in the early hours of the morning,
0:18:51 > 0:18:53"after hearing the mother of his two children
0:18:53 > 0:18:57"had struck up a relationship with the man."
0:18:57 > 0:19:01'There was a time, not long before the incident,
0:19:01 > 0:19:05'where he'd got a new job and he was spending less time with us,
0:19:05 > 0:19:07'which made us grow apart a bit.
0:19:07 > 0:19:11'I'd met up with one of his closest friends at the time, a few times,'
0:19:11 > 0:19:15and then that made Kyle immediately think we were up to no good.
0:19:15 > 0:19:20So, he'd went round to his friend's house to warn him away
0:19:20 > 0:19:24and they ended up having a fight.
0:19:24 > 0:19:28During the fight, Kyle used a knife to attack the victim.
0:19:28 > 0:19:30It caught him on the throat,
0:19:30 > 0:19:32there and there.
0:19:36 > 0:19:40It was an attack both of jealousy and rage, yeah.
0:19:40 > 0:19:44I think in those few minutes he was having a fight,
0:19:44 > 0:19:48I don't think he stopped to think about us, when that happened.
0:19:50 > 0:19:53Just portrayed to be a really violent person.
0:19:53 > 0:19:56BABY TYLER CRIES
0:19:57 > 0:20:02And the fact that I was six months pregnant with a second child,
0:20:02 > 0:20:05and I'm apparently in a relationship with a man,
0:20:05 > 0:20:09that makes me look like a right...dirty person, really.
0:20:09 > 0:20:11BABY CRIES
0:20:23 > 0:20:26- Mummy!- Yeah?
0:20:26 > 0:20:30- Mum?- Yeah?- Kyle's in the paper.
0:20:30 > 0:20:32Do you want to see it?
0:20:32 > 0:20:34It's not very good at all.
0:20:40 > 0:20:42Oh, dear.
0:20:42 > 0:20:44Doesn't show you in a good light either, does it?
0:20:46 > 0:20:47That's what I said.
0:20:50 > 0:20:54What's Riley going to say when he sees his dad like that in the paper
0:20:54 > 0:20:57with that sort of heading? Nobody thinks about that side.
0:20:59 > 0:21:03A few weeks later, Kyle writes from prison,
0:21:03 > 0:21:07concerned that because of what he's done, Leanne has stopped loving him.
0:21:07 > 0:21:11He's, like, really worried that I wasn't going to stay with him.
0:21:11 > 0:21:15So he says, "You all right, baby?" is the first thing.
0:21:15 > 0:21:17"I'm really worried about losing you.
0:21:17 > 0:21:19"I won't give you a reason for us to break up
0:21:19 > 0:21:22"so it'll be down to you to stay strong.
0:21:22 > 0:21:25"I love you to pieces and you'll see when I'm out
0:21:25 > 0:21:27"you weren't wrong to give me a chance.
0:21:27 > 0:21:31"Each day that goes by I realise more and more what a twat
0:21:31 > 0:21:33"and selfish person I was being.
0:21:33 > 0:21:36"Each day that passes by I miss you so much more.
0:21:36 > 0:21:39"Also, what'd you reckon, five years' time, me in a black suit,
0:21:39 > 0:21:44"you in a white dress, priest says, 'Do you take her for your wife?'
0:21:44 > 0:21:46" 'Yes.' What would your response be?"
0:21:48 > 0:21:51Every relationship has a rollercoaster.
0:21:51 > 0:21:54This is one of the low points, I guess.
0:21:57 > 0:22:01'Who wants to be known for having a boyfriend in prison?'
0:22:01 > 0:22:04It's not the best thing in the world, is it,
0:22:04 > 0:22:08to be known for having a criminal as a boyfriend?
0:22:14 > 0:22:16Cai, come and get your toast.
0:22:17 > 0:22:19Can't you bring it up?
0:22:19 > 0:22:22No, don't be lazy, man!
0:22:22 > 0:22:27Me and my mum have always been quite close cos my dad's not been around.
0:22:27 > 0:22:30Should put a bigger coat on, but I can't be bothered.
0:22:30 > 0:22:31You should, you've got 'em.
0:22:31 > 0:22:35I'm not being funny, that's really thin and you're always cold.
0:22:35 > 0:22:37'She is actually a lovely girl,'
0:22:37 > 0:22:41but she does have her moments, I suppose, like most teenagers.
0:22:41 > 0:22:43But she can be really fun on a good day.
0:22:45 > 0:22:48Catia's relationship with her mum was put to the test last year
0:22:48 > 0:22:51in the two months Jed was out.
0:22:51 > 0:22:54When he was last out of prison I did go a bit off the rails,
0:22:54 > 0:22:56you know, staying out and not coming home at all,
0:22:56 > 0:23:00and just having no respect for my mum's home
0:23:00 > 0:23:03because I was in and out whenever I wanted.
0:23:03 > 0:23:06'Our relationship started going downhill in about March,
0:23:06 > 0:23:09'and I think that's when she actually started seeing him.
0:23:09 > 0:23:13'So he did influence her and our relationship.'
0:23:13 > 0:23:17There was a point when I was on the verge of chucking her out, because of her attitude.
0:23:17 > 0:23:21Since Jed is released again in only a few weeks' time,
0:23:21 > 0:23:24Catia's mum has concerns that history will repeat itself.
0:23:25 > 0:23:29- As long as you don't behave the way you behaved last year.- Mm-mm.
0:23:29 > 0:23:32- I know that.- Yeah. I hope you mean that.
0:23:33 > 0:23:37- Yeah, I do.- Well, you do just need to be careful.
0:23:37 > 0:23:39Well. you're not stupid anyway, so...
0:23:41 > 0:23:45Well...not most of the time, anyway.
0:23:47 > 0:23:49'I probably did upset my mum.
0:23:49 > 0:23:51'If it was my kid I would have felt the same.'
0:23:51 > 0:23:54And by looking at it in someone else's shoes you do tend to...
0:23:54 > 0:23:58think about it more and try and have a reaction to change that.
0:24:01 > 0:24:04When he comes out of prison, she needs to stay
0:24:04 > 0:24:08the way she is being now, as opposed to going back to what she was.
0:24:08 > 0:24:10It was quite upsetting.
0:24:10 > 0:24:13Yeah.
0:24:13 > 0:24:15Not good at times.
0:24:15 > 0:24:17But hopefully we're getting there now.
0:24:17 > 0:24:20I hope so. Sorry.
0:24:20 > 0:24:22SHE SOBS
0:24:28 > 0:24:29Sorry.
0:24:33 > 0:24:38I just hope we can... build our relationship back again.
0:24:40 > 0:24:41SHE SNIFFS
0:24:49 > 0:24:54Neelam is 20 and lives in Birmingham with her extended family.
0:24:54 > 0:24:55I've always been a daddy's girl.
0:24:55 > 0:24:58I don't know why, I just always had this attachment with my dad.
0:24:58 > 0:25:01He used to come through the alleyway, through here,
0:25:01 > 0:25:03and I used to be like, sometimes, after prayer,
0:25:03 > 0:25:06I used to be standing here and I used to be looking at my dad,
0:25:06 > 0:25:09and then I used to run downstairs and start looking and stuff,
0:25:09 > 0:25:11because I knew my dad was going to have something to eat.
0:25:11 > 0:25:15There's my dad. He's got me picked up and us two are standing there.
0:25:17 > 0:25:20'My father was a very loving man, very caring.
0:25:20 > 0:25:23'He was very considerate, he was very supportive,
0:25:23 > 0:25:25'and he was more than a father,'
0:25:25 > 0:25:28he was more than a friend. He was just...everything to me.
0:25:28 > 0:25:30He was my world.
0:25:30 > 0:25:34This is my brother's birthday film. There's my dad.
0:25:34 > 0:25:37In 2009, when Neelam was just 17,
0:25:37 > 0:25:41her father was arrested for attempted murder.
0:25:41 > 0:25:44The prosecution case was that Neelam's dad
0:25:44 > 0:25:47and a gang of local people, including her two brothers,
0:25:47 > 0:25:50attacked a man they had a disagreement with,
0:25:50 > 0:25:52and that Neelam's dad stabbed him twice in the chest.
0:25:52 > 0:25:56Her two brothers were acquitted of attempted murder,
0:25:56 > 0:25:59but her father was found guilty and sentenced to 15 years.
0:25:59 > 0:26:04When he went, my whole world just shattered.
0:26:04 > 0:26:10In the morning, my grandma had been very sad.
0:26:10 > 0:26:13She was crying, my aunt was crying. I come downstairs,
0:26:13 > 0:26:14my mum was like, "What happened?
0:26:14 > 0:26:18And me and my sister said, "What's happened? Why is everyone crying?"
0:26:18 > 0:26:22And she was like, "He's been sentenced to 15 years."
0:26:22 > 0:26:25That's all we heard and we just all broke down.
0:26:29 > 0:26:32I didn't want to see daylight, I didn't want to get up,
0:26:32 > 0:26:35I didn't want to see nobody, I didn't want nobody to be there.
0:26:35 > 0:26:36I felt my whole world was destroyed.
0:26:38 > 0:26:41I miss everything about him - his smile, his laughter,
0:26:41 > 0:26:43the way he'd laugh, the way he'd joke.
0:26:43 > 0:26:47I still remember all them things even though that's no longer there.
0:26:47 > 0:26:50I remember each and every bit of it.
0:26:50 > 0:26:53I look at this picture and it's bringing a lot of memories.
0:26:53 > 0:26:57This was his room and I'm sitting in the seat that my dad used to sit in the most.
0:26:57 > 0:27:03He used to have friends over who'd sit with him and tell us jokes.
0:27:03 > 0:27:07This room was such a live room. Today it's died out.
0:27:07 > 0:27:12'Since her father's arrest, her mum has been ill with depression,
0:27:12 > 0:27:17'so it's been down Neelam to look after her mum, gran and four siblings.'
0:27:17 > 0:27:20I had to grow up at a very vulnerable age.
0:27:20 > 0:27:24I had to take on a lot of hassle and responsibilities.
0:27:24 > 0:27:26It's just my daily chores.
0:27:26 > 0:27:32Cooking, cleaning, taking my brother to school.
0:27:32 > 0:27:35Just the normal... Laundry, washing...
0:27:36 > 0:27:38You adjust to it, to be honest with you.
0:27:38 > 0:27:42You adjust with what you have to undertake, what responsibilities.
0:27:42 > 0:27:45You just get used to it.
0:27:48 > 0:27:52I had a lot of dreams, especially on school days, like a doctor,
0:27:52 > 0:27:54solicitor, psychiatrist.
0:27:54 > 0:28:00I wanted to travel the world. I had loads of ideas.
0:28:00 > 0:28:02An artist, story writer...
0:28:03 > 0:28:06But that was then.
0:28:08 > 0:28:11'With Neelam's career dreams on hold,
0:28:11 > 0:28:15'her focus is on holding her family together, and her dad's legal case.'
0:28:15 > 0:28:18'She doesn't accept the official version of events
0:28:18 > 0:28:22'and believes that her father was wrongly identified.'
0:28:22 > 0:28:25'Neelam's decided to contest the guilty verdict.'
0:28:25 > 0:28:29From day one I decided I will help my dad, I will prove him innocent.
0:28:29 > 0:28:32He had no previous convictions, he was a hard-working family man
0:28:32 > 0:28:35who worked most of his life maintaining the family.
0:28:35 > 0:28:38I don't see why he would do that. He wouldn't.
0:28:38 > 0:28:40He wasn't that type of person.
0:28:40 > 0:28:43As his daughter, it's my duty to help my dad,
0:28:43 > 0:28:45knowing that he's been there for us.
0:28:45 > 0:28:48He's worked all of his life for us. He was there in our hard times.
0:28:48 > 0:28:53He did everything for us. I feel this is the least I can do. That's my dad.
0:28:53 > 0:28:55He's my first priority.
0:29:06 > 0:29:08Amy's back at university.
0:29:08 > 0:29:10She's now in the middle of her second term.
0:29:15 > 0:29:18There's loads of different opportunities at uni.
0:29:18 > 0:29:23Every society or club is there, so you basically take your pick.
0:29:23 > 0:29:26I sign up to everything.
0:29:26 > 0:29:31Chess society, tea society, sci-fi society... I did everything.
0:29:31 > 0:29:33'At the university horse-riding club,
0:29:33 > 0:29:35'Amy met her new friend Amanda.'
0:29:36 > 0:29:40Tell me how much you talk about each other's home life
0:29:40 > 0:29:43and things like that and how all that got broached with you?
0:29:43 > 0:29:49I don't remember how we discussed it.
0:29:49 > 0:29:53Stuff like that... I'm quite close with Amanda so I don't mind.
0:29:53 > 0:29:56She basically just dropped it into conversation one time.
0:29:56 > 0:29:59I think we might've been talking about finance,
0:29:59 > 0:30:03and she was like, "I automatically got halls cos I'm in care",
0:30:03 > 0:30:06and I didn't actually want to ask any questions so I didn't.
0:30:06 > 0:30:09I just thought, when she tells me, she tells me,
0:30:09 > 0:30:12I'm not going to pry into her personal life.
0:30:12 > 0:30:15It just came out over a few weeks.
0:30:15 > 0:30:18I do remember saying, "I'm sorry," like when someone dies,
0:30:18 > 0:30:21and you're like, "I'm sorry for your loss."
0:30:21 > 0:30:23You just don't know what else to say.
0:30:23 > 0:30:27I just take the mick out so much, when people say sorry.
0:30:27 > 0:30:29It's like, yeah.
0:30:29 > 0:30:32Do you never worry that people will judge you?
0:30:33 > 0:30:37The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, so people assume.
0:30:37 > 0:30:40I can't imagine thinking like that. Would people actually think that?
0:30:40 > 0:30:43That seems really horrible to me
0:30:43 > 0:30:46because you know her and she's amazing.
0:30:46 > 0:30:51There's nothing her mum's ever done could change the person Amy is.
0:30:51 > 0:30:55I don't think it's related at all, she's awesome.
0:30:55 > 0:30:57You're such a sweetheart!
0:31:00 > 0:31:02Outside of university,
0:31:02 > 0:31:06social workers are still encouraging Amy to make contact with her mum.
0:31:08 > 0:31:12But she still continues to defend her right not to.
0:31:15 > 0:31:17Thank you.
0:31:20 > 0:31:24Today, Amy and her brother Sean are speaking at a conference,
0:31:24 > 0:31:26to get their point of view across.
0:31:26 > 0:31:30- When did you write the speech? - Last night!
0:31:30 > 0:31:32I wrote it out neat so I could read it.
0:31:32 > 0:31:35What's running through your mind right now?
0:31:35 > 0:31:38I'm glad I didn't have breakfast!
0:31:38 > 0:31:40It seemed, at least in our case,
0:31:40 > 0:31:44that because we didn't want contact with our parents,
0:31:44 > 0:31:46the sympathies went to our mother.
0:31:46 > 0:31:49And despite the fact we've suffered at the hand of her,
0:31:49 > 0:31:52the person who was meant to care about us most,
0:31:52 > 0:31:54everyone was, "Oh, poor mother." You know?
0:31:54 > 0:31:58We were angry, we were hurt
0:31:58 > 0:32:00and the only way we could show we were angry
0:32:00 > 0:32:04was to not have contact with her.
0:32:04 > 0:32:10It's more or less the first time she's told that aspect of things.
0:32:10 > 0:32:16I guess the first time you talk about it,
0:32:16 > 0:32:17is always the hardest
0:32:17 > 0:32:21and to talk about it in front of a group of people is even more so.
0:32:21 > 0:32:23Kids in my situation,
0:32:23 > 0:32:27we try to make the best out of a crappy situation.
0:32:27 > 0:32:31We do our best to make a family.
0:32:33 > 0:32:39- VOICE BREAKS: - We accept other people as ours.
0:32:42 > 0:32:44And with the contact,
0:32:44 > 0:32:48it always seemed like there's a risk of tearing it apart.
0:32:50 > 0:32:54Em...that's it!
0:33:02 > 0:33:05Well done, that was really good.
0:33:05 > 0:33:11- I'm sorry.- Thank you. - You did absolutely brilliant.
0:33:11 > 0:33:14- You should be proud of yourselves. - Thank you.
0:33:18 > 0:33:20Is there ever a part of you that thinks
0:33:20 > 0:33:23you'd like to say those things to your mum?
0:33:23 > 0:33:26I don't know if I could.
0:33:26 > 0:33:28- Really?- No.
0:33:33 > 0:33:34I want to, but...
0:33:38 > 0:33:40I don't think I could get it out.
0:33:40 > 0:33:46This is like, a lifetime of pent-up anger
0:33:46 > 0:33:49and stress and upset.
0:33:51 > 0:33:56I can't imagine ever being able to kind of get rid of that.
0:33:56 > 0:34:00I don't know how I would.
0:34:03 > 0:34:05CHILD CRIES
0:34:08 > 0:34:12- Are you tired?- Yeah...
0:34:12 > 0:34:14Today, Leanne is due in court
0:34:14 > 0:34:17to find out how long Kyle will get in prison.
0:34:19 > 0:34:25If he has to serve inside more than six years,
0:34:25 > 0:34:28then that's most of my twenties' life over.
0:34:28 > 0:34:31'I'll be 28 then.'
0:34:32 > 0:34:36So if he gets eight years and only serves half of that,
0:34:36 > 0:34:39providing he has good behaviour,
0:34:39 > 0:34:43so that's four years, then I'll be 26.
0:34:43 > 0:34:46So I'll still have half of my twenties to go with him
0:34:46 > 0:34:48and we'll still feel young
0:34:48 > 0:34:52and we'll still have a youthful life together,
0:34:52 > 0:34:57rather than just the more mature life together, if that makes sense.
0:34:58 > 0:35:03So, yeah, I still want to have my youthful life with somebody.
0:35:06 > 0:35:10Because Kyle cut his victim on the neck,
0:35:10 > 0:35:13the crime falls within the most serious category of assault.
0:35:13 > 0:35:17As such, the sentence could be long.
0:35:17 > 0:35:20Well, this is what they're saying that he's in - category one.
0:35:20 > 0:35:24A starting point of 12 years and the range is 9 to 16 years' custody.
0:35:30 > 0:35:33So he could get 16 years?
0:35:33 > 0:35:35Mm-hm.
0:35:35 > 0:35:37At worst.
0:35:38 > 0:35:41What would you do if he got 16 years?
0:35:41 > 0:35:43I don't know.
0:35:44 > 0:35:47I'm not even going there.
0:35:51 > 0:35:54You'll be OK.
0:35:54 > 0:35:57You'll be OK.
0:35:57 > 0:35:59I'll come back as soon as I'm finished, OK?
0:35:59 > 0:36:01Yeah?
0:36:37 > 0:36:39I was so shaky when I was in there.
0:36:39 > 0:36:44Um, he got a total of five years,
0:36:44 > 0:36:46so he serves two-and-a-half years,
0:36:46 > 0:36:50but the last four months of that two-and-a-half years he could be out on tag,
0:36:50 > 0:36:53providing he's well-behaved.
0:36:53 > 0:36:59And then on licence for the remainder of the term.
0:36:59 > 0:37:04So he could be out quite shortly, so it's a lot better than expected.
0:37:06 > 0:37:11I feel really bad for smiling because he's done something wrong,
0:37:11 > 0:37:15but I think it was... the right amount of time.
0:37:15 > 0:37:18'I was so relieved that it wasn't longer.
0:37:18 > 0:37:21'I just thought of the children again, and I thought of me,
0:37:21 > 0:37:26'like, we've still got a chance of a good relationship, and we're still going to be young.'
0:37:26 > 0:37:31So we've still got a chance at rebuilding everything.
0:37:35 > 0:37:38- Hiya. How are you?- OK.
0:37:38 > 0:37:42- You want to know, don't you?- I do want to know, of course I do. Um...
0:37:42 > 0:37:46- I want to make sure that you're all right first.- Yeah.
0:37:46 > 0:37:47OK.
0:37:47 > 0:37:49- He got five years.- Right.
0:37:49 > 0:37:52Um... Serves two-and-a-half.
0:37:52 > 0:37:56- He's already done four months of that, obviously.- Right.
0:37:56 > 0:38:02- So this little one's not going to see Daddy properly until he's about two.- Yeah...
0:38:02 > 0:38:08- Unfortunately. But it could've been worse.- Yes.- A lot worse.
0:38:08 > 0:38:12You know, the next year, certainly, will be a real tester for you.
0:38:12 > 0:38:14I know, yeah.
0:38:14 > 0:38:16'I wouldn't have been able to wait 12 years for him.
0:38:16 > 0:38:18'No way.'
0:38:18 > 0:38:21That's just too much of my life gone.
0:38:22 > 0:38:24And it wouldn't have been fair on me.
0:38:24 > 0:38:28- SHE LAUGHS - That might sound selfish, but it wouldn't.
0:38:28 > 0:38:31I've not done... I've not done anything wrong.
0:38:32 > 0:38:38Kiss good night. Do you want the quilt on to keep you safe and warm?
0:38:39 > 0:38:43You just think of all the things that Riley's done in his life so far,
0:38:43 > 0:38:45and all the things he's learnt,
0:38:45 > 0:38:48and all the little things you watch, and his little personalities
0:38:48 > 0:38:52and how he changes, and you know that Kyle's going to miss out on all of that.
0:38:54 > 0:38:56No crime is worth committing
0:38:56 > 0:38:59if you know what you're going to miss out on...
0:38:59 > 0:39:01if you have a family.
0:39:01 > 0:39:05So you're going to miss out on a lot, aren't you?
0:39:05 > 0:39:07But you don't know it.
0:39:14 > 0:39:15Over two years ago,
0:39:15 > 0:39:18Neelam's father was convicted of attempted murder
0:39:18 > 0:39:21and sentenced to 15 years in prison.
0:39:21 > 0:39:24Although Neelam left school with no qualifications
0:39:24 > 0:39:26and has little knowledge of the legal system,
0:39:26 > 0:39:31she's taken on the main role of fighting her father's conviction.
0:39:31 > 0:39:34Hi, I'd just like an update on my father's case.
0:39:35 > 0:39:36That's Mohammed Arif.
0:39:39 > 0:39:41Can I leave a message?
0:39:41 > 0:39:43Uh, can you let him know that I would like for him to put,
0:39:43 > 0:39:46you know the DNA and the forensic?
0:39:47 > 0:39:51And forensic, I would like that to be added to the points.
0:39:51 > 0:39:54'I never thought in a million years that I would be researching,
0:39:54 > 0:39:57'investigating and looking into the different firms
0:39:57 > 0:40:00'that deal with miscarriage of justice.'
0:40:00 > 0:40:02Uh, hi, Claire, it's me, Neelam.
0:40:02 > 0:40:03'At first I had a lot of people saying,
0:40:03 > 0:40:05' "You won't be able to do it," '
0:40:05 > 0:40:08because they felt I'd probably screw up, I'd probably do something wrong.
0:40:08 > 0:40:10Probably, the case won't be looked at
0:40:10 > 0:40:13because I'm phoning in repeatedly at the courts, at solicitors...
0:40:13 > 0:40:16The decision of whether her father's case will go to appeal
0:40:16 > 0:40:20lies with the Criminal Cases Review Commission - the CCRC.
0:40:20 > 0:40:23Today, Neelam is attending a protest
0:40:23 > 0:40:26and plans to deliver a letter demanding an update.
0:40:26 > 0:40:29- What do we want?- Justice. - When do we want it?- Now.
0:40:29 > 0:40:33- What do we want?- Justice. - When do we want it?- Now.
0:40:33 > 0:40:36'A lot of people believe that there's no smoke without fire.
0:40:36 > 0:40:38'They don't want to really look in depth,
0:40:38 > 0:40:40'they don't really want to know that, OK,'
0:40:40 > 0:40:42there can be something a bit more to this.
0:40:42 > 0:40:44You know, they just believe, "OK, he's been charged,
0:40:44 > 0:40:47"there must be something in it, so he must be guilty."
0:40:47 > 0:40:50- We're disgusted.- No justice. - We're disgusted.- No justice.
0:40:50 > 0:40:53- We're disgusted.- No justice.
0:40:53 > 0:40:56Not a lot of Asian women from the community can, obviously,
0:40:56 > 0:41:00stand up to, basically, do protests and go to these places
0:41:00 > 0:41:02because it just doesn't be done.
0:41:02 > 0:41:06- What do we want?- Justice. - When do we want it?- Now.
0:41:06 > 0:41:09- Excuse me, can I give this letter in?- You want to give a letter in?
0:41:09 > 0:41:13- It's for the CCRC. My dad's case is pending, so this is more information.- Yes.
0:41:13 > 0:41:14'It went brilliant.'
0:41:14 > 0:41:16I got to give the letter I wanted to give in
0:41:16 > 0:41:17and I think we got our point across.
0:41:17 > 0:41:20I mean, there was a lot of people that were coming up to myself
0:41:20 > 0:41:22and I was giving them leaflets as well.
0:41:22 > 0:41:25- We're disgusted.- No justice. - We're disgusted.- No justice.
0:41:25 > 0:41:27I believe in God, I believe God does exist
0:41:27 > 0:41:30and I put my trust in my God
0:41:30 > 0:41:32and I believe that he gave me this determination
0:41:32 > 0:41:35and all this courage because, to be quite honest with you,
0:41:35 > 0:41:38when I first heard about my dad, I was completely broken.
0:41:38 > 0:41:40Out of everybody, I was the most broke.
0:41:40 > 0:41:42When I make a prayer
0:41:42 > 0:41:45and I have this feeling in my heart that one day everything will be OK.
0:41:51 > 0:41:53In Slough, Catia is still waiting
0:41:53 > 0:41:57for her boyfriend, Jed, to be released from prison,
0:41:57 > 0:42:00but as the date draws near, her mum's concerned that her behaviour
0:42:00 > 0:42:05is going downhill again, like the last time he was out of prison.
0:42:05 > 0:42:08Catia, not the phone at the table, please.
0:42:09 > 0:42:11Why're you doing mine?
0:42:11 > 0:42:14Cos I always do yours first. That's why I asked you to serve.
0:42:14 > 0:42:17I don't like loads of mince.
0:42:19 > 0:42:21- Just have potatoes, then.- I am.
0:42:21 > 0:42:23I'm not even hungry.
0:42:24 > 0:42:27- Yeah, just eat.- Why would I eat?
0:42:29 > 0:42:30Cos it's my cooking.
0:42:33 > 0:42:35It's just about...
0:42:36 > 0:42:38..when you were coming in late, last year.
0:42:40 > 0:42:42Oh, fuck, no. I ain't talking about that bullshit.
0:42:42 > 0:42:43I refuse. I'm not doing it.
0:42:43 > 0:42:46No, it's... Can you understand how it made me feel, though?
0:42:46 > 0:42:50Yeah, but I don't want to talk about it.
0:42:50 > 0:42:52- Why?- Just don't.
0:42:53 > 0:42:55Fair enough.
0:42:56 > 0:42:58I know you don't want to talk about it.
0:42:58 > 0:43:00- So why are you going to carry on? - No, no, no. No.
0:43:00 > 0:43:05- I'm just going to say, you're not going to start doing it?- No.
0:43:05 > 0:43:07- Are you sure?- Yeah. 100%.
0:43:20 > 0:43:24This morning, Jed will be released from prison.
0:43:29 > 0:43:31I'm actually a little bit nervous, funnily enough.
0:43:31 > 0:43:35I think I'm nervous for Catia. She's not nervous - I am.
0:43:35 > 0:43:38What happens when he DOES come out?
0:43:38 > 0:43:40How is she going to react?
0:43:40 > 0:43:42Is she going to play up like she did last year?
0:43:42 > 0:43:45I think that's probably what's bugging me as well.
0:43:46 > 0:43:48SHE SIGHS
0:44:02 > 0:44:04Hello!
0:44:07 > 0:44:09I missed you.
0:44:09 > 0:44:11Did you miss me too?
0:44:12 > 0:44:16Of course. Oh, my God. I love you.
0:44:16 > 0:44:18Love you too.
0:44:19 > 0:44:22- You're not cold? I got that jumper here.- Yeah.
0:44:23 > 0:44:26'If he got put back into prison that would be the end of it.'
0:44:26 > 0:44:30He knows, my mum knows, everyone knows that would be the end of it.
0:44:31 > 0:44:36I don't want to have a married home with police banging on my door.
0:44:36 > 0:44:38I don't want that life at all.
0:44:38 > 0:44:42I want a normal, happy, relaxed, settled life.
0:44:43 > 0:44:48But I trust him and I believe in him to not go back to prison.
0:44:48 > 0:44:50It's emotional. It is.
0:44:50 > 0:44:53It's emotional that I get to be with my girl again.
0:44:56 > 0:44:58Have you missed her?
0:44:58 > 0:45:00Beyond belief.
0:45:00 > 0:45:04There's not a day that went by I didn't think about her.
0:45:04 > 0:45:07To be honest, I probably don't hold much hope of him sticking to it,
0:45:07 > 0:45:10but I'd like to think that he CAN change.
0:45:12 > 0:45:16It'd be nice to think at least someone can change their ways.
0:45:16 > 0:45:19If he changes he has to prove himself to me first,
0:45:19 > 0:45:22and then to my mum, which is going to be hard,
0:45:22 > 0:45:26cos earning my mum's trust is NOT easy.
0:45:26 > 0:45:30- New start, yeah?- Yeah. Promise.- Cool.
0:45:32 > 0:45:36- Can we go home?- Let's go home.
0:45:36 > 0:45:39And the night before that I had four hours' sleep.
0:45:39 > 0:45:41This means we can go home now.
0:45:46 > 0:45:48It's Christmas morning in Leicester.
0:45:48 > 0:45:51This year will be the first Christmas
0:45:51 > 0:45:55Leanne has spent without Kyle since they met.
0:45:55 > 0:45:58Last night I said to Riley, "Santa's coming tonight,
0:45:58 > 0:46:00"so you've got to be asleep."
0:46:00 > 0:46:02He went, "Don't want Santa. I want Daddy."
0:46:02 > 0:46:06So I was like, "Aww. Can't have Daddy, can we?"
0:46:06 > 0:46:10Ooh, it's good!
0:46:11 > 0:46:15Christmas was a very different atmosphere.
0:46:15 > 0:46:19I was like, "Let's try and keep this as normal as possible
0:46:19 > 0:46:23"and do everything as we would as if Kyle was here."
0:46:23 > 0:46:25'There was a big hole, really.'
0:46:28 > 0:46:31That's from your great-nana, that is.
0:46:31 > 0:46:32Here you go.
0:46:32 > 0:46:34BABY GURGLES
0:46:35 > 0:46:38I need to open this one.
0:46:38 > 0:46:42I'm going to have to do it all over again next year,
0:46:42 > 0:46:45and probably all over again the next year as well.
0:46:45 > 0:46:50'So I've just to cope with it, just deal with it.'
0:46:50 > 0:46:52Nemo!
0:46:52 > 0:46:55It's like that song, isn't it? It'll be lonely this Christmas.
0:46:56 > 0:47:03- For me, anyway. - Here's two! Here's two! Look!
0:47:08 > 0:47:12Going to be a good boy? Yeah?
0:47:12 > 0:47:15Before she went on maternity leave,
0:47:15 > 0:47:19Leanne worked full-time as a civil servant.
0:47:19 > 0:47:23She and Kyle had lived comfortably on their joint incomes.
0:47:23 > 0:47:25But without Kyle's salary,
0:47:25 > 0:47:27she's struggling to keep up with the bills.
0:47:27 > 0:47:30'I knew that by the end of this month,
0:47:30 > 0:47:36'this will be the first month of my significantly lower maternity pay.'
0:47:36 > 0:47:41'I'm going to have £128.73 per week.'
0:47:43 > 0:47:46That's like 520 quid-ish.
0:47:46 > 0:47:51Considering my mortgage payment is £465,
0:47:51 > 0:47:54doesn't leave me much for other things.
0:47:54 > 0:47:59One of my bills, gas and electricity, is £101. That puts me straight over.
0:47:59 > 0:48:01Then I've got all the other things like insurances
0:48:01 > 0:48:07and petrol money, car insurance...
0:48:07 > 0:48:11Then I've got to pay out in advance the nursery fees,
0:48:11 > 0:48:14so I'm going to be worse off by a few hundred each month
0:48:14 > 0:48:15until I go back to work.
0:48:15 > 0:48:20I spoke to Kyle about the difference in money,
0:48:20 > 0:48:22but he can't do anything, can he?
0:48:24 > 0:48:26No-one can really do anything.
0:48:26 > 0:48:29I just feel trapped now and then.
0:48:29 > 0:48:31I feel like my hands are tied with what I can do
0:48:31 > 0:48:34and I'm going to get into a load of debt in the next three months.
0:48:34 > 0:48:35That scares me.
0:48:35 > 0:48:38BABY CRIES
0:48:38 > 0:48:43I know she's really starting to feel the financial strain
0:48:43 > 0:48:46and possibly the emotional strain too.
0:48:48 > 0:48:53I think she feels more lonely than she expected and quite isolated.
0:48:53 > 0:48:57I just see it as, "Right, you're a single mother now."
0:48:57 > 0:49:01If you look at it in that way, just deal with it like everyone else does.
0:49:06 > 0:49:10It's been over six weeks since Neelam's protest.
0:49:10 > 0:49:13Today, she's waiting for a response from the CCRC
0:49:13 > 0:49:18to find out of her father's case will go to the Court of Appeal.
0:49:21 > 0:49:26"Dear Ms P, I refer to your letter dated 15th February 2012,
0:49:26 > 0:49:29"in which you asked for an update on the progress made
0:49:29 > 0:49:31"in the review of your father's case.
0:49:31 > 0:49:34"I have secured and examined the relevant case files
0:49:34 > 0:49:37"of the police, the Crown Prosecution Service and the Crown Court.
0:49:37 > 0:49:40"I still need to see some additional police and court material
0:49:40 > 0:49:43"to address specific issues that have been raised.
0:49:43 > 0:49:47"As we have already discussed, I will communicate to you in detail
0:49:47 > 0:49:53"as soon as I have any significant information about the review."
0:49:53 > 0:49:58What it said in the letter that my father's case ain't got a timescale.
0:49:58 > 0:50:01They're still under investigation, they're still investigating
0:50:01 > 0:50:04certain issues and they're still looking into the matter.
0:50:04 > 0:50:07I will never give up.
0:50:13 > 0:50:15It's been two weeks since Jed was released.
0:50:16 > 0:50:19He's been to sent to a bail hostel 50 miles away.
0:50:19 > 0:50:23It is the first time Catia has seen him since the day he was let out.
0:50:23 > 0:50:27- I missed you.- I missed you more. - I missed you more-er.
0:50:27 > 0:50:29I missed you more-er!
0:50:29 > 0:50:33He's decided to treat her to a day at a go-karting track.
0:50:37 > 0:50:40It's important for Jed to stay out of Slough cos it just keeps him
0:50:40 > 0:50:43away from the trouble that could happen
0:50:43 > 0:50:47and he can just start afresh. New place, no people he knows.
0:50:47 > 0:50:49I'm 100% sure it will just be so much better.
0:50:58 > 0:51:02- Who do you think won?- Me! - You?- Nah, you let me off.
0:51:02 > 0:51:06Did you see how many time I let her go past me? I'm a gentleman.
0:51:08 > 0:51:12I told you before, I'd spend the rest of my life making it up to you,
0:51:12 > 0:51:16that I'd never mess up again. Like, I don't know.
0:51:16 > 0:51:20You mean the world to me and I don't want to lose you again.
0:51:20 > 0:51:22Thank you.
0:51:25 > 0:51:30I've been going in and out of prison since I was 15
0:51:30 > 0:51:33and I think it's time to throw in the towel.
0:51:33 > 0:51:36It's time to grow up and move on.
0:51:36 > 0:51:41'I can't change Jed. Jed can change Jed.'
0:51:41 > 0:51:46But by him wanting to change and having support from his girlfriend,
0:51:46 > 0:51:50his stepmum, his other family members and friends
0:51:50 > 0:51:53that want to help him, makes him feel that extra bit of support,
0:51:53 > 0:51:56make him feel more confident about changing himself,
0:51:56 > 0:51:58and that's what he needs.
0:51:58 > 0:52:02He needs something stable and something to boost him, to push him.
0:52:02 > 0:52:04And that's what he's got.
0:52:10 > 0:52:13Quickly, cos I'm at a weird angle there.
0:52:15 > 0:52:17Leanne has decided to deal with her money worries head on,
0:52:17 > 0:52:21and plans to return to work earlier than expected.
0:52:21 > 0:52:26Going through what has happened in the last seven months or so,
0:52:26 > 0:52:29I think I'm a lot stronger.
0:52:29 > 0:52:32Last couple of months, since the house has been better,
0:52:32 > 0:52:34she's come on leaps and bounds.
0:52:34 > 0:52:35It's been really good and I admire her.
0:52:35 > 0:52:38I don't know how she's does it, really. Amazing.
0:52:38 > 0:52:40The decision has refreshed her outlook,
0:52:40 > 0:52:42and for the first time in months,
0:52:42 > 0:52:45she's decided to have some time away from the kids.
0:52:45 > 0:52:47In an attempt to meet other young people in the area,
0:52:47 > 0:52:50she's signed up for a new way to keep fit.
0:52:50 > 0:52:52Tonight I'm going pole dancing.
0:52:52 > 0:52:55It's my second time ever doing it, so it's not going to be great.
0:52:55 > 0:53:02It's probably going to be quite atrocious. But it's keeping fit.
0:53:02 > 0:53:06I think it's been about over a year since I wore trainers.
0:53:06 > 0:53:08- Maybe two years. - I'm absolutely staggered!
0:53:11 > 0:53:1913, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18...
0:53:19 > 0:53:24She thought when it first happened that life would never be the same,
0:53:24 > 0:53:27and yet she shows that if you're resilient enough
0:53:27 > 0:53:30you can get through anything. It's a credit to her.
0:53:30 > 0:53:32I look ridiculous!
0:53:32 > 0:53:35Looking in the mirror I just look insane!
0:53:38 > 0:53:42I like a bit of me time now, even if it is once a fortnight or whatever.
0:53:44 > 0:53:45For an hour.
0:54:04 > 0:54:07This is the card.
0:54:07 > 0:54:12It says, "Wishing you a magical Mother's Day", and then inside...
0:54:19 > 0:54:24It's finding a card that doesn't say "Mother" on it cos I've never seen
0:54:24 > 0:54:28a Mother's Day card with "Happy Mother's Day, Auntie."
0:54:29 > 0:54:34You'll like the card. I hope you like the card anyway.
0:54:55 > 0:54:57I already have the pain of losing a father,
0:54:57 > 0:55:01my mother has the pain of losing her husband,
0:55:01 > 0:55:04my grandma's got pain of losing her son.
0:55:04 > 0:55:07My auntie and uncle got pain of losing their brother.
0:55:07 > 0:55:10But my father, he's got pain of losing everybody.
0:55:22 > 0:55:25I'm staying with Kyle cos I love him and we've been through a lot.
0:55:25 > 0:55:28I wouldn't ever stay with someone for the sake of the kids
0:55:28 > 0:55:33cos it will rub off on the kids that things aren't good.
0:55:34 > 0:55:35But, yeah, I love him.
0:55:47 > 0:55:51You always think, "I can see my life being like this in five years' time."
0:55:51 > 0:55:56But I can't. I never know what my life's going to be like in five years' time.
0:55:56 > 0:55:58Hopefully it will be good.
0:55:58 > 0:56:03We'll have our own place, got money, got jobs, got cars, settled,
0:56:03 > 0:56:07and then maybe in ten years, kids and marriage and stuff like that.
0:56:09 > 0:56:15'When I have kids I'll have the most boring family. It'll be glorious!'
0:56:16 > 0:56:23I'd have a piano and I'll make jam even though I don't know how
0:56:23 > 0:56:26and nothing of consequence would ever happen.
0:56:36 > 0:56:42Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd