Episode 6

Download Subtitles

Transcript

0:00:05 > 0:00:07Have you seen any motorbikes?

0:00:07 > 0:00:13This programme contains some strong language

0:00:16 > 0:00:18There's a motorbike.

0:00:18 > 0:00:21If Sandra catches them, bosh, she's off this scooter,

0:00:21 > 0:00:24she's after them, I'm telling you.

0:00:26 > 0:00:30Darlington, north-east England. In this historic market town...

0:00:32 > 0:00:35..one man's on a mission to make crime a thing of the past.

0:00:35 > 0:00:38They get caught by a tree, "boomph".

0:00:38 > 0:00:40Fearless Francis Jones.

0:00:40 > 0:00:42Argh!

0:00:42 > 0:00:45If you have a problem, day or night...

0:00:45 > 0:00:48I'm like a doctor to the burglars. I give them their medicine.

0:00:48 > 0:00:50If no-one else can help...

0:00:50 > 0:00:53There's no escape from Francis Jones.

0:00:53 > 0:00:55People always say I'm different, like...

0:00:55 > 0:00:57And if you can find him...

0:00:57 > 0:01:01You need to be hextra cautious. Not extra, hextra.

0:01:01 > 0:01:04Maybe you can hire Sparta Security.

0:01:05 > 0:01:08Spartan Warriors were the tribe of people who had courage,

0:01:08 > 0:01:10who were strong.

0:01:10 > 0:01:15When you drive down the road the kids always shout, "This is Sparta!"

0:01:16 > 0:01:17You're not a policeman.

0:01:17 > 0:01:20This is about promoting Christianity to protect

0:01:20 > 0:01:23people against what? The villainous burglars?!

0:01:23 > 0:01:26If you want a steak, you go and get a sirloin.

0:01:26 > 0:01:28If you want ice cream, you go to Tom & Jerry's.

0:01:28 > 0:01:31If you want security, you come see Spartacus.

0:01:33 > 0:01:35SIREN WAILS

0:01:38 > 0:01:41Francis Jones is having a combat masterclass

0:01:41 > 0:01:44with his Mind Sport coach, Rob.

0:01:46 > 0:01:50My name is Spartacus Averticus Maximus...

0:01:50 > 0:01:52I'm going to smash you upright!

0:02:00 > 0:02:03Good.

0:02:03 > 0:02:06The session covers all aspects of being a Spartan warrior.

0:02:06 > 0:02:09Discipline is the key. Discipline is a trait for Spartans.

0:02:09 > 0:02:12The discipline in training, the discipline in everyday life.

0:02:12 > 0:02:14They're born for one thing and that is for war.

0:02:14 > 0:02:18However, you're not one for war but you do have the traits of a Spartan,

0:02:18 > 0:02:20so you need to stay disciplined.

0:02:20 > 0:02:22You need to be ready, cos I'm going to hit you with this axe.

0:02:22 > 0:02:24Oh, baby!

0:02:26 > 0:02:28What you going to do, what you doing this for?

0:02:28 > 0:02:31What's the matter with you? What's the matter?

0:02:31 > 0:02:33Mind Sport was coming at me with... with an axe, you know,

0:02:33 > 0:02:37which, erm, is not too unrealistic for Darlington.

0:02:37 > 0:02:38I'm in security.

0:02:38 > 0:02:40What you doing it for? Talk, talk to me.

0:02:40 > 0:02:43Talk to me. Talk to me.

0:02:43 > 0:02:46I've got to talk to people in confrontational issues

0:02:46 > 0:02:49and I've got to calm down, I've got to be disciplined.

0:02:49 > 0:02:52We can fight, you know, and you may win,

0:02:52 > 0:02:55but I may win as well, you know, cos I am a professional boxer.

0:02:55 > 0:02:58It's like a pencil and sharpening... sharpening the pencil,

0:02:58 > 0:03:02so when you go out into the... the game and you're on the field,

0:03:02 > 0:03:06erm, you know, you...you're sharp as a razor, aren't you?

0:03:06 > 0:03:08I ain't fighting, I ain't fighting. I ain't fighting.

0:03:08 > 0:03:11- No problems. - Perfect.

0:03:11 > 0:03:13Yeah.

0:03:13 > 0:03:15All ages can train to be a Spartan.

0:03:15 > 0:03:18Rob also advises Francis on developing his company.

0:03:18 > 0:03:22Where have Spartans come from? They're born as a child.

0:03:22 > 0:03:25If they're weak or seen as being defective,

0:03:25 > 0:03:27they're thrown from the city walls.

0:03:27 > 0:03:32You select members of your team to provide a service to the

0:03:32 > 0:03:37wider community, to paying clients, to the nation, nationally.

0:03:37 > 0:03:41You select the right people to fight in your Spartan Army.

0:03:42 > 0:03:45A recent addition to the Spartan Army

0:03:45 > 0:03:49is former thief and burglar Luke "Pembo" Pemberton.

0:03:51 > 0:03:56Pembo, you know, he's a problem for me. Like, if you get a wild dog

0:03:56 > 0:04:00and you take it into your luxury mansion, the dog's going to

0:04:00 > 0:04:04shit all over your mansion, right, it won't do what you say.

0:04:04 > 0:04:08But see that wild dog, if you get it in your mansion, right,

0:04:08 > 0:04:12and you invest time into training it, that dog will

0:04:12 > 0:04:18change its ways, and I think one day that dog, it'll be a little beauty.

0:04:18 > 0:04:20Claire, is "pissing" swearing?

0:04:20 > 0:04:22I wouldn't say it in front of the kids

0:04:22 > 0:04:24Do you think it's swearing or not?

0:04:24 > 0:04:26I wouldn't say it in front of the children.

0:04:26 > 0:04:30Right, £2, I've got £2 out of him now, Claire, to put in the swear box.

0:04:30 > 0:04:33A key part of Sparta's Christian ethos is to offer guidance to

0:04:33 > 0:04:35youngsters with troubled backgrounds.

0:04:35 > 0:04:37It's a bad habit and I need to sort it.

0:04:37 > 0:04:38We st... We started it...

0:04:38 > 0:04:41We're sticking to it, I was going to stick to it, don't worry.

0:04:41 > 0:04:43As sales and marketing apprentice,

0:04:43 > 0:04:45Pembo's job is to help promote the company.

0:04:45 > 0:04:49I could do with Rachel here, cos I've told her - it's a good idea.

0:04:49 > 0:04:53Erm, basically what it is, is we get, we advertise

0:04:53 > 0:04:56an event where loads of businesses are going to come and see...see what

0:04:56 > 0:04:59Sparta...come and see what we're... how we're going to be different.

0:04:59 > 0:05:01Why would they give up their time to come to me?

0:05:01 > 0:05:04Well, I think they would. Obviously, you'd have to give a time and a day.

0:05:04 > 0:05:06Pembo's sale strategies haven't always hit the mark,

0:05:06 > 0:05:09but this time he could be onto something.

0:05:09 > 0:05:11Where do we do the event at?

0:05:11 > 0:05:13Somewhere in the town, somewhere we could hire out

0:05:13 > 0:05:17for the night, just for... just for an hour presentation.

0:05:17 > 0:05:19It's something that I think really would work.

0:05:23 > 0:05:27Becoming a Sparta apprentice has helped Pembo broaden his horizons.

0:05:27 > 0:05:29Everyone's here. It's dart night.

0:05:29 > 0:05:33Darts, a couple of pints, couple of bags of nuts.

0:05:33 > 0:05:35Maybe a pizza on the way home.

0:05:35 > 0:05:38LAUGHTER

0:05:40 > 0:05:43How is this different to your old lifestyle?

0:05:43 > 0:05:47I'd be stood on a street corner, making...making a nuisance of myself.

0:05:47 > 0:05:49Due to his criminal past,

0:05:49 > 0:05:52Pembo's not licensed to do security work with Sparta.

0:05:52 > 0:05:54Round this area, round Darlington,

0:05:54 > 0:05:57it's not a bad, really, place to grow up.

0:05:57 > 0:05:59I've had the best upbringing, do you know what I mean,

0:05:59 > 0:06:02I should have been shining silver. But it was just me

0:06:02 > 0:06:04who decided to just go down these other slippery roads.

0:06:04 > 0:06:05Thank you very much, lad.

0:06:05 > 0:06:07If he keeps his nose clean,

0:06:07 > 0:06:11Pembo could be on his way to a full-time job with the company.

0:06:11 > 0:06:13Sparta Security - it's my bread and butter.

0:06:13 > 0:06:15Obviously a job's a job, do you know what I mean,

0:06:15 > 0:06:17but when you're doing something that you really like,

0:06:17 > 0:06:20you've got to have more confidence to go and accomplish...

0:06:20 > 0:06:22Set your goals, I've got goals in my life.

0:06:22 > 0:06:25Like, from where I've come to where I'm at now,

0:06:25 > 0:06:28keep going forward, keep going up. You've got to upgrade in life.

0:06:30 > 0:06:33For Francis, there's no time for darts.

0:06:34 > 0:06:37Right, socks, socks...

0:06:37 > 0:06:41He's heading out on one of his regular night-time burglar hunts.

0:06:41 > 0:06:45These goes over the shoes, because Billy Burglar,

0:06:45 > 0:06:50he can hear my shoes on the streets, clockety-clock, like a clown.

0:06:50 > 0:06:53There we go, son.

0:06:53 > 0:06:55He can't hear nowt.

0:06:57 > 0:07:01With socks correctly aligned, Francis hits the streets...

0:07:01 > 0:07:03Like graveyard dark. Ooh.

0:07:03 > 0:07:06..in an upmarket neighbourhood.

0:07:06 > 0:07:09We have that house. We have that one, as well.

0:07:10 > 0:07:13Francis has clients in this area, that pay

0:07:13 > 0:07:16a weekly fee for regular patrols.

0:07:16 > 0:07:20(Three o'clock, four o'clock. In a deep sleep.

0:07:20 > 0:07:23(If you see anyone... You shouldn't be seeing anyone beyond ourselves.)

0:07:23 > 0:07:26He also likes to keep a close eye on the whole neighbourhood.

0:07:26 > 0:07:27CAT MEOWS

0:07:27 > 0:07:29See a lot of cats.

0:07:29 > 0:07:32Sometimes see people taking their dogs for a walk.

0:07:32 > 0:07:34Sometimes you see burglars.

0:07:42 > 0:07:46It seems like tonight isn't going to be one of those times.

0:07:47 > 0:07:49Unfortunately, it's a little bit boring.

0:07:49 > 0:07:50ALARM BLARES

0:07:50 > 0:07:52Until...

0:07:58 > 0:08:00Something's set the alarm off.

0:08:00 > 0:08:02It's just finding out what it is.

0:08:02 > 0:08:06Francis enters the suspected crime scene for a closer look.

0:08:07 > 0:08:09It's a school.

0:08:11 > 0:08:14I'm just checking for an entry point. Is it...?

0:08:14 > 0:08:16Is that window open?

0:08:19 > 0:08:20Is a window open?

0:08:22 > 0:08:24I don't know.

0:08:24 > 0:08:26It seems it could be a false alarm.

0:08:26 > 0:08:28I'll just search these grounds.

0:08:28 > 0:08:31But Francis is taking no chances.

0:08:32 > 0:08:36Who's that? Who's that there?

0:08:37 > 0:08:40There's activity on the perimeter.

0:08:40 > 0:08:42Go a bit closer.

0:08:42 > 0:08:44Oh, right.

0:08:44 > 0:08:46The alarm's also alerted the school caretaker.

0:08:46 > 0:08:48I'm from a security company called Sparta.

0:08:48 > 0:08:52- I've heard of you, Sparta. - Yeah, I've just checked it. I've double-checked it.- Yeah.

0:08:52 > 0:08:55- No windows broken, no entry point, no-one's in the bushes. - Thank you very much.

0:08:55 > 0:08:59- You don't have the key by any chance, do you?- Yeah, I have the keys here.

0:08:59 > 0:09:01For these gates?

0:09:01 > 0:09:03It seems the building is now secure.

0:09:03 > 0:09:05I didn't like them socks over the boots, no.

0:09:05 > 0:09:09And Francis has a verdict on his latest kit experiment.

0:09:11 > 0:09:15If I can hear my feet, you know who else can hear the feet as well.

0:09:15 > 0:09:18I need to be quieter than that.

0:09:30 > 0:09:32Francis has decided to run with Pembo's

0:09:32 > 0:09:36idea of a community meeting to promote Sparta's services.

0:09:36 > 0:09:39It says, "We want to make Darlington a safer place to live,

0:09:39 > 0:09:41"and this is your chance."

0:09:41 > 0:09:44- Going to hand in leaflets in waiting rooms.- Yeah.

0:09:44 > 0:09:48Doctors' surgeries, dental practice - anywhere where there's people waiting.

0:09:48 > 0:09:49Car garages, anywhere, I'm just

0:09:49 > 0:09:52going to go in and say, "Can I possibly leave ten leaflets?"

0:09:52 > 0:09:55But his eager young apprentice is also beginning to

0:09:55 > 0:09:57grate on Francis's nerves.

0:09:57 > 0:10:00I like him, you know, I do like him, but he talks, talks and talks.

0:10:00 > 0:10:03He does my head in sometimes, he does do my head in.

0:10:03 > 0:10:05PHONE CHIMES

0:10:05 > 0:10:08Hello, Pembo. OK...

0:10:09 > 0:10:12Text me, cos I'm busy... I'm busy now, Pembo, all right?

0:10:12 > 0:10:14I'm just outside...

0:10:14 > 0:10:16No, don't ring me, just text me, all right?

0:10:16 > 0:10:18- All right, no problem.- Cheers, see you later, bye-bye.

0:10:18 > 0:10:20Bye-bye.

0:10:20 > 0:10:23Do I not make it obvious? Is it not obvious?

0:10:23 > 0:10:25It's obvious to me.

0:10:25 > 0:10:27Do you know, please, God, don't take this from me.

0:10:31 > 0:10:33Pembo...

0:10:33 > 0:10:36I need to go and borrow that back again...

0:10:36 > 0:10:40- Yeah. Just take all them, Pembo, and just get them out, isn't it, and then...- What, even with that on?

0:10:40 > 0:10:43No, just put them back for now, do you know?

0:10:45 > 0:10:48It's good to feel how he's pushing me further

0:10:48 > 0:10:51and telling me, like, new things, what new ideas what I can

0:10:51 > 0:10:55potentially do, so we've just got to take it every day, like, step by step.

0:10:58 > 0:11:01Francis is hitting the streets to drum up

0:11:01 > 0:11:03interest in his community meeting.

0:11:03 > 0:11:05Is it OK to give you one of these?

0:11:05 > 0:11:09- Certainly.- We're trying to make a difference in the community.

0:11:09 > 0:11:11I'm looking for volunteers to come on board.

0:11:11 > 0:11:14As well as new business, Francis wants local volunteers to

0:11:14 > 0:11:17help his quest against crime in the area.

0:11:17 > 0:11:19We're just giving a talk, neighbourhood watch,

0:11:19 > 0:11:23on Wednesday, so it's tomorrow... is when we're doing it.

0:11:23 > 0:11:26- All right, then. - Thank you very much, anyway.

0:11:26 > 0:11:29So these need to be given out today, really.

0:11:29 > 0:11:33These need to be given out today, is it?

0:11:33 > 0:11:35Are you all right?

0:11:36 > 0:11:38HE LAUGHS

0:11:38 > 0:11:40It's also an opportunity to make new connections

0:11:40 > 0:11:42of a more personal nature.

0:11:42 > 0:11:44Hello, sweetheart, can I give you one of these, please?

0:11:44 > 0:11:47We're doing free dates in the area. If you want to be taken out,

0:11:47 > 0:11:51if you haven't got a boyfriend, you give me a call, all right, you look beautiful.

0:11:53 > 0:11:55# Oh, baby... #

0:11:55 > 0:11:57'I'm a naughty-potty with girls.'

0:11:57 > 0:12:01I do like the female breed, er, the species, the blonde hair,

0:12:01 > 0:12:04do you know, er...phew, I find it very, very hard.

0:12:04 > 0:12:08Any kind of problems whatsoever, you know, or maybe's you just

0:12:08 > 0:12:11- want a cup of coffee sometime... Can you let me know?- I will.

0:12:11 > 0:12:13Thank you very much, sweetheart, thank you!

0:12:13 > 0:12:14SHE LAUGHS

0:12:14 > 0:12:17Cos I'm after a wife. God says, "Ask and you shall receive."

0:12:17 > 0:12:18He says, "Seek and you shall find.

0:12:18 > 0:12:20"Knock on the door and it will be opened."

0:12:20 > 0:12:23I've asked, I've seeked and I've knocked for my princess wife.

0:12:23 > 0:12:26- You look beautiful, by the way. - Thank you.

0:12:26 > 0:12:28- Side of the cheek?- No.

0:12:28 > 0:12:29LAUGHTER

0:12:29 > 0:12:31Is it OK to leave some of these?

0:12:31 > 0:12:33- Have you got a boyfriend or not? - Yeah, I do.

0:12:33 > 0:12:36- How long have you had a boyfriend for?- Not long.- No?

0:12:36 > 0:12:42'In order to get my princess, I need to start being more obedient,'

0:12:42 > 0:12:45because he says, "No nookie." That's what he says.

0:12:45 > 0:12:48Erm, no bonking, no nookie.

0:12:48 > 0:12:51Francis hopes his latest idea will get a warm welcome

0:12:51 > 0:12:53at his favourite tanning salon.

0:12:53 > 0:12:55How are you?

0:12:55 > 0:12:57- Hello. - There you go.

0:12:57 > 0:13:00She's grabbing my arse, there.

0:13:00 > 0:13:01LAUGHTER

0:13:01 > 0:13:05We're doing a drive, right, in the community, if you're free. It would be great to see your face.

0:13:05 > 0:13:08- They all know you round there. - We'll come. We'll go, won't we?

0:13:08 > 0:13:12Right then, girls, no problem, I'll leave it with you, then. So like, like, massages.

0:13:12 > 0:13:14What do you do? What would it be?

0:13:14 > 0:13:16Massages, how long?

0:13:16 > 0:13:18Do you go by the minute or does it go by the second?

0:13:18 > 0:13:21- LAUGHTER - He's after one of them.

0:13:21 > 0:13:24- See you later, girls.- Right, catch you later.- Bye.

0:13:24 > 0:13:27- See you at the meeting. - Yeah!

0:13:27 > 0:13:29As long as it's not only us two that turn up!

0:13:29 > 0:13:31LAUGHTER

0:13:36 > 0:13:39There's been a twist in one of Sparta's ongoing cases.

0:13:39 > 0:13:43Sparta is supposed to be a good professional security

0:13:43 > 0:13:45firm in Darlington.

0:13:45 > 0:13:47I have some neighbours off the estates who always

0:13:47 > 0:13:52complain about bikes, and do you know, I was boiling.

0:13:52 > 0:13:55Francis has been trying to stamp out the problem of

0:13:55 > 0:13:57nuisance bikers across Darlo.

0:13:57 > 0:14:00I can't have... I can't have this going on.

0:14:00 > 0:14:03He has evidence on the identity of one culprit,

0:14:03 > 0:14:06and it's closer to home that he'd have ever imagined.

0:14:07 > 0:14:10So, I've just seen Pembo on a... a quad bike, erm,

0:14:10 > 0:14:12going away from the office.

0:14:12 > 0:14:16The press would have a field day, do you know, it just upsets me,

0:14:16 > 0:14:18he disrespects me and, erm, it...

0:14:18 > 0:14:21it's a load of shit for the company, isn't it?

0:14:24 > 0:14:28The employee Francis has invested the most in may have let him down.

0:14:29 > 0:14:33- Do you want to sit down? - Yeah.

0:14:33 > 0:14:35You got on your pal's quad.

0:14:35 > 0:14:38We have residents ringing up about quad bikes on this, that and the other.

0:14:38 > 0:14:41I was going... I was trying to get a lift, I was trying to get...get...

0:14:41 > 0:14:43get to where I needed to be as fast as I could,

0:14:43 > 0:14:45do you know what I mean, I panicked.

0:14:45 > 0:14:47It's like a dog returning to its vomit.

0:14:47 > 0:14:49You change when you get to know him,

0:14:49 > 0:14:51but then you want to go back in your old ways.

0:14:51 > 0:14:54- I don't, I don't. - Now, just be quiet.

0:14:54 > 0:14:57If the police were to have stopped that bike,

0:14:57 > 0:15:00Sparta Security, like, you know, I'm just disappointed, like...

0:15:00 > 0:15:02I know, I know.

0:15:02 > 0:15:05I want the keys for the office, you know...

0:15:05 > 0:15:08SERIOUS SCORE

0:15:08 > 0:15:12- Is that the only ones you've got? - Yes, that's the only one I've got.

0:15:12 > 0:15:14- That will do. - Nothing I can do.

0:15:14 > 0:15:17Obviously, he's right, I... I've let him down, haven't I?

0:15:17 > 0:15:19Have you lost your job?

0:15:19 > 0:15:21Yeah, I've lost me job, haven't I?

0:15:21 > 0:15:24HE MUMBLES

0:15:24 > 0:15:26No more Pembo.

0:15:26 > 0:15:28I just feel gutted, you know, a bit sad.

0:15:28 > 0:15:31It's one of them, that's life.

0:15:33 > 0:15:36Well, well, well.

0:15:37 > 0:15:39HE BLOWS NOSE

0:15:39 > 0:15:43That's it... Life's life, you know.

0:15:49 > 0:15:52On the Red Hall Estate...

0:15:52 > 0:15:55local football team the Tigers

0:15:55 > 0:15:58have also had recurring problems with nuisance bikers.

0:15:58 > 0:16:00Here they come here.

0:16:01 > 0:16:03Right, Andy, ready to run.

0:16:03 > 0:16:05They're in that field.

0:16:05 > 0:16:08They'll probably come up here now, try and be dicks again.

0:16:14 > 0:16:17It is annoying when you're trying to play football or

0:16:17 > 0:16:19when you're trying to do training and...especially when...

0:16:19 > 0:16:22Cos we've got...we've got to maintain the pitch ourselves,

0:16:22 > 0:16:25but when you get people like that, they're just spoiling the place.

0:16:25 > 0:16:27It's just an ongoing issue.

0:16:27 > 0:16:31It's an ongoing issue and hopefully Francis and Sparta can help us out

0:16:31 > 0:16:33and just resolve the issue.

0:16:35 > 0:16:37LOUD REVVING

0:16:43 > 0:16:47This biker problem is, erm... is getting to me.

0:16:47 > 0:16:50I need an idea to catch the bikers.

0:16:50 > 0:16:53Francis is desperate for a breakthrough to stamp out

0:16:53 > 0:16:56the problem that's affected residents across the town.

0:16:56 > 0:16:59He nearly got knocked down there, didn't he?

0:16:59 > 0:17:01LAUGHTER

0:17:01 > 0:17:07Darlo's morning rush hour may have given Francis inspiration.

0:17:07 > 0:17:12I'm going to see the MP of Darlington, Mrs Jenny Chapman.

0:17:12 > 0:17:16He has an important meeting to discuss his next move.

0:17:16 > 0:17:20She's great, fantastic - and she has my vote.

0:17:20 > 0:17:23I don't know what parliament she's in, though, I don't follow it.

0:17:23 > 0:17:24BELL RINGS

0:17:24 > 0:17:26HE EXHALES

0:17:26 > 0:17:29Hello, Jenny, how you doing?! I don't want a handshake.

0:17:29 > 0:17:31You don't? You want a kiss? Oh!

0:17:31 > 0:17:33- Are you all right? - Yeah, I'm good.

0:17:33 > 0:17:36- You smell nice. - So do you.

0:17:36 > 0:17:38I think you're awesome, by the way.

0:17:38 > 0:17:41- I'll certainly fly the flag for you. - Thank you.

0:17:41 > 0:17:43- Erm, do you love your job? - I love my job, yes.

0:17:43 > 0:17:46Yeah, where do you want to be in... where do you want to be?

0:17:46 > 0:17:47I'm happy where I am.

0:17:47 > 0:17:49- I want to be a world champion boxer. - Yeah, I...

0:17:49 > 0:17:52I'm not happy where I am. Are you? You don't want to be...?

0:17:52 > 0:17:56What, Prime Minister? No, no. I'm happy where I am.

0:17:56 > 0:17:57I am.

0:17:57 > 0:18:00We've been to Redhall - there's bikes over there.

0:18:00 > 0:18:02There's a football team who keep getting their pitch turned

0:18:02 > 0:18:04- over by bikes. - Yeah, I've got you.

0:18:04 > 0:18:07So they've asked Sparta to come on the job,

0:18:07 > 0:18:08"Can you sort it out," you know.

0:18:08 > 0:18:12So I've been patrolling a few times and, er, the word got round,

0:18:12 > 0:18:15- so I have to go covert... - Right.

0:18:15 > 0:18:18I have to go covert to catch them.

0:18:18 > 0:18:21And I'm going to dress up

0:18:21 > 0:18:25as an old lady, pair of tights, pair of stockings on, right?

0:18:25 > 0:18:27Oh, God!

0:18:27 > 0:18:30I am, I am, aye, yeah, yeah. And then hire out one of them

0:18:30 > 0:18:34bikes from the OAP shop, right, and I'm going to go...

0:18:34 > 0:18:36What, you mean a mobility scooter?

0:18:36 > 0:18:39One of them, yes, yes. Four mile an hour and then, phew,

0:18:39 > 0:18:41once I see one, bosh...

0:18:41 > 0:18:43They are going to get the shock of their lives.

0:18:43 > 0:18:46- Yeah, it's right, though, innit? - What are you're going to catch them doing?

0:18:46 > 0:18:49- Well, riding the bikes.- Yeah, but then...?- Yeah.

0:18:49 > 0:18:54- Then what, though?- Well, you know, I'll hit them with my handbag or something, do you know.

0:18:54 > 0:18:57- LAUGHTER - All right, then, Jenny, give me another hug.

0:18:57 > 0:18:58- All right. - All right, bye-bye.

0:18:58 > 0:19:00Take care.

0:19:00 > 0:19:05When I said it, her eyes lightened up and I thought she thought...

0:19:05 > 0:19:07"Wow," is what I thought.

0:19:07 > 0:19:10Dressing up as a woman and hiring a mobility scooter to go

0:19:10 > 0:19:14and catch people on off-road bikes, I think it's barmy.

0:19:14 > 0:19:16That one's taken my eye.

0:19:16 > 0:19:19It's got a basket on, as well, to put me handbag...

0:19:19 > 0:19:21Part of me admires that and thinks it's fabulous

0:19:21 > 0:19:24and could be just the sort of thing that will work.

0:19:24 > 0:19:30Charity shop. Get a lady's dress and a pair of panties.

0:19:30 > 0:19:32I'll have to say they're for me granny.

0:19:32 > 0:19:34I do worry for him, though.

0:19:34 > 0:19:36I worry that he won't know where to stop

0:19:36 > 0:19:38and will get himself into some serious bother,

0:19:38 > 0:19:40but I can't stop him.

0:19:44 > 0:19:47Despite losing Pembo, Francis is going ahead with the meeting,

0:19:47 > 0:19:50to try and enlist community volunteers.

0:19:50 > 0:19:54Mind Sport has sent me this message to inspire me

0:19:54 > 0:19:57for when I give my talk to the community.

0:19:57 > 0:19:59In his inbox,

0:19:59 > 0:20:01a motivational pep talk.

0:20:01 > 0:20:04- RECORDING: - Today I will stand up in front

0:20:04 > 0:20:08of good people, honest people, the innocent people of North Road,

0:20:08 > 0:20:13Darlington, a community rich with greatness, but fear in equal measure.

0:20:13 > 0:20:16I know about boxing, I know about what to do.

0:20:16 > 0:20:20It's just pressure, you know, wanting to get into that zone.

0:20:20 > 0:20:23- RECORDING:- I do what I do because it's the right thing to do.

0:20:23 > 0:20:25I'm a warrior.

0:20:25 > 0:20:28I take the bull by the horns and rip out its soul and show it to them.

0:20:28 > 0:20:31When I'm finished, North Road will have been saved

0:20:31 > 0:20:35and I shall look upon my success, marvelling in the peace

0:20:35 > 0:20:38and tranquillity that beams from the faces of my flock.

0:20:40 > 0:20:42The turnout at the meeting...

0:20:42 > 0:20:44Hello, folks. How you doing?

0:20:44 > 0:20:47..including a few staff members, isn't quite what Francis hoped.

0:20:49 > 0:20:52Has anyone, firstly, not heard of Sparta?

0:20:52 > 0:20:54No. Boys?

0:20:54 > 0:20:56Sparta Security - maybe it's 100 metres up there

0:20:56 > 0:20:59on the right-hand side, it's got a big bonny face on the door.

0:20:59 > 0:21:02- LAUGHTER - Beautiful.

0:21:02 > 0:21:06Erm, so does anything or anyone have anything to say about,

0:21:06 > 0:21:10you know, problems that they've been affected with in the area?

0:21:10 > 0:21:13- No, I sort me own problems out, mate.- Yeah...

0:21:13 > 0:21:16At the Navy Club, is there any problems that you see outside?

0:21:16 > 0:21:19- Just the bagheads scrounging fags. - Yeah.- Off their faces.

0:21:19 > 0:21:22People on the street now and again, like break-ins and...

0:21:22 > 0:21:23Yeah, break-ins.

0:21:23 > 0:21:25There's been a few house fires and that.

0:21:25 > 0:21:28We're looking at addressing these problems, do you know.

0:21:28 > 0:21:33So, does anyone have any situation with maybe's nuisance noise?

0:21:33 > 0:21:34- MAN:- Yeah, fuck off.

0:21:34 > 0:21:36LAUGHTER

0:21:36 > 0:21:39There's one thing the pep talk didn't prepare Francis for...

0:21:39 > 0:21:41Two seconds.

0:21:41 > 0:21:43Hecklers.

0:21:43 > 0:21:45Do you want to come in the meeting, mate?

0:21:48 > 0:21:49- I...- It's my pub.

0:21:49 > 0:21:51Just a fella there,

0:21:51 > 0:21:54just had...a bit too much to drink, he's had half a pint.

0:21:54 > 0:21:56So, boys, have you got a question?

0:21:56 > 0:21:58- MAN:- Yeah, canny lad...

0:21:58 > 0:22:00Did he say I'm a canny lad?

0:22:00 > 0:22:04- MAN:- I came down for a fucking drink, not a fucking bastard...

0:22:04 > 0:22:06Don't bite your nails, it's bad for your cuticles!

0:22:06 > 0:22:08It is, isn't it?

0:22:08 > 0:22:11If he was 100 years younger...

0:22:11 > 0:22:13LAUGHTER

0:22:14 > 0:22:16And so I'm in the community.

0:22:16 > 0:22:18I'm wanting to make a difference in the community.

0:22:18 > 0:22:21I know you can sort your own problems out, but if you're

0:22:21 > 0:22:23in bed asleep and you're older, listen, I'll do it for nowt.

0:22:23 > 0:22:27How about that? Send patrols round. I appreciate you coming.

0:22:27 > 0:22:28You're a star, by the way.

0:22:29 > 0:22:33CHATTER

0:22:36 > 0:22:40- I think a lot of people just think, "There's nothing you can do."- Yeah.

0:22:40 > 0:22:42Do you know, like, this, North Road's probably

0:22:42 > 0:22:45- been like this for a hell of a long time.- A long time.

0:22:45 > 0:22:47Hopefully, he'll make some difference.

0:22:47 > 0:22:51I don't think we got one signature on the...on the paper.

0:22:51 > 0:22:54Does that mean it's flopped? No, you know, we'll just try again.

0:22:54 > 0:22:56- I think you did a brilliant job. - Oh, thank you.

0:22:56 > 0:23:02- I couldn't have kept it together like that, especially...- Give us a kiss on the cheek.- ..with a heckler.

0:23:02 > 0:23:04- LAUGHTER - He's pushing his luck here!

0:23:04 > 0:23:06Ah, you're a chancer!

0:23:06 > 0:23:08See you later.

0:23:08 > 0:23:10Bless him.

0:23:10 > 0:23:13Though people were prepared to discuss the area's problems,

0:23:13 > 0:23:17so far, Francis doesn't have any new volunteers.

0:23:17 > 0:23:19So he's going to need all of his covert expertise

0:23:19 > 0:23:23to try and finally catch Darlo's nuisance bikers,

0:23:23 > 0:23:24who've eluded him all summer.

0:23:27 > 0:23:30You get one opportunity of the bikes.

0:23:30 > 0:23:32And then the word will be round.

0:23:33 > 0:23:37This time, he's getting in touch with his feminine side.

0:23:37 > 0:23:40I'm called Sandra. Security Sandra.

0:23:43 > 0:23:45HE EXHALES

0:23:45 > 0:23:50The bikers have disrupted football games, endangered children,

0:23:50 > 0:23:56and even the local MP's got involved. So Francis is determined to deliver.

0:24:01 > 0:24:04ENGINE WHIRS

0:24:08 > 0:24:12Tonight, we are going to go out looking for the bikers.

0:24:12 > 0:24:16We're going to go undercover, going to try to get close to them.

0:24:19 > 0:24:23If they see you, obviously, they're not going to come down.

0:24:23 > 0:24:25We need to be hextra cautious.

0:24:26 > 0:24:31As a well-known face, Francis has struggled to get close to his prey.

0:24:31 > 0:24:35Go on, see you later, folks.

0:24:35 > 0:24:39He hopes his alter ego will have more success.

0:24:39 > 0:24:43If Sandra catches 'em, bosh. She's off this scooter.

0:24:43 > 0:24:45She's after 'em, I'm telling ya.

0:24:48 > 0:24:50Sandra's fast.

0:24:50 > 0:24:52She's going to get hold of 'em and say,

0:24:52 > 0:24:55"Stop going on the pitch. The lads are trying to play football."

0:24:56 > 0:24:58They're here now. I can hear them.

0:24:58 > 0:25:01MOTORBIKES IN DISTANCE

0:25:01 > 0:25:03I can hear noises.

0:25:05 > 0:25:07They could be up the hill.

0:25:12 > 0:25:15Right, we need to ask people.

0:25:15 > 0:25:18I'm not going to ask kids, cos I think I'll scare kids.

0:25:18 > 0:25:19Better ask men.

0:25:20 > 0:25:23- HIGH VOICE:- I'm looking for some people on motorbikes.

0:25:23 > 0:25:26- I've not seen none.- OK, thank you.

0:25:28 > 0:25:31- Have you seen any motorbikes? - No bikes tonight.

0:25:31 > 0:25:36- Have you got a girlfriend?- Me? I've got a wife.- Oh.

0:25:36 > 0:25:38Are you happy?

0:25:38 > 0:25:41- I'm not too bad, yeah.- OK.

0:25:44 > 0:25:48HE YAWNS

0:25:48 > 0:25:50- Hi, mate, how are you? - Eventually...

0:25:50 > 0:25:53Do you know what time they come out?

0:25:53 > 0:25:55..Francis finds a concerned resident.

0:25:58 > 0:25:59I've been here for an hour.

0:26:00 > 0:26:03This keen golfer has recently witnessed the damage

0:26:03 > 0:26:04caused by the bikers.

0:26:08 > 0:26:10Oh, did he? Let's have a look at it.

0:26:10 > 0:26:13Aware that the suspects have watchers on the estate,

0:26:13 > 0:26:15Francis needs to maintain deep cover.

0:26:15 > 0:26:17How do I get down there?

0:26:17 > 0:26:21Well, you'll have to get off your disabled carriage, I'm afraid.

0:26:23 > 0:26:26He was pushing it across the green with his girlfriend, looked at me,

0:26:26 > 0:26:29stared straight at me, made a few marks on the green and carried on.

0:26:29 > 0:26:32- Did he?- Yeah. No respect.

0:26:32 > 0:26:33MOTORBIKE NEARBY

0:26:33 > 0:26:36There's a motorbike. Hey, hey, hey!

0:26:36 > 0:26:38I need to get him, I need to get him.

0:26:38 > 0:26:40Francis has a biker in his sights.

0:26:44 > 0:26:46There's a motorbike. There's a motorbike.

0:26:46 > 0:26:48He takes off...

0:26:48 > 0:26:50in not-so-hot pursuit.

0:26:54 > 0:26:58As Francis gets help with his new Spartamobile...

0:26:58 > 0:27:01Is that the guy who you were talking about?

0:27:01 > 0:27:02- Across the river.- Which field?

0:27:02 > 0:27:04- This one.- The football field?

0:27:04 > 0:27:07..he may have been rumbled by the watchers.

0:27:07 > 0:27:09LOUD REVVING

0:27:09 > 0:27:11Is she going to tell him?

0:27:11 > 0:27:14That's his girlfriend going to tell him.

0:27:14 > 0:27:18Francis tries to cut off the target before a warning can get through.

0:27:20 > 0:27:23He hasn't seen her!

0:27:23 > 0:27:25Let's go, Joe!

0:27:28 > 0:27:29# Hey, sweetheart! #

0:27:34 > 0:27:35SHE SCREAMS

0:27:35 > 0:27:39A cry goes out, that Francis thinks is a coded signal.

0:27:40 > 0:27:41Where's he at?

0:27:41 > 0:27:43Has he seen her?

0:27:43 > 0:27:45No.

0:27:45 > 0:27:47MOTORBIKE LEAVES

0:27:47 > 0:27:49They seen me. I nearly got him, right.

0:27:49 > 0:27:51I nearly got him.

0:27:51 > 0:27:53The biker has escaped.

0:27:53 > 0:27:55The disguise is blown.

0:27:55 > 0:27:58But Francis is confident that Mission Mobility Scooter will

0:27:58 > 0:28:00make future offenders think twice.

0:28:02 > 0:28:05They know Sparta's on the trail, so they'll keep away.

0:28:07 > 0:28:09Next time...

0:28:09 > 0:28:12CHEERING ..at a local funfair...

0:28:12 > 0:28:14HE ROARS ..Francis has his hands full.

0:28:14 > 0:28:16Go and call the police.

0:28:16 > 0:28:18Sit down, sit down, sit down, man!

0:28:18 > 0:28:20I really want my job back, like...

0:28:20 > 0:28:23And is it really the end for Pembo?

0:28:23 > 0:28:24I wish him the very best of luck

0:28:24 > 0:28:27because I do think he will probably need it.

0:28:27 > 0:28:29I'll walk into the Houses of Parliament...

0:28:29 > 0:28:33and I'll still get up there and I'll try and preach about Sparta Security.