0:00:02 > 0:00:05This programme contains some strong language
0:00:05 > 0:00:08This is Chris Birch.
0:00:08 > 0:00:10He's one of a kind.
0:00:10 > 0:00:15After a freak accident, his life changed forever.
0:00:15 > 0:00:20I used to be a 19-stone, beer-swilling rugby fan
0:00:20 > 0:00:25from the valleys and then it all changed.
0:00:25 > 0:00:28I was doing a forward roll down a grass banking one day
0:00:28 > 0:00:31and cut off the blood supply to my brain,
0:00:31 > 0:00:34which caused a stroke to happen, and it was from there
0:00:34 > 0:00:36while I was recovering that I realised I'd changed.
0:00:36 > 0:00:39The Chris I had knew had gone,
0:00:39 > 0:00:41and a new Chris sort of came along.
0:00:41 > 0:00:45I came to the realisation that the stroke had turned me gay.
0:00:46 > 0:00:49But Chris has a problem -
0:00:49 > 0:00:51no one believes his story.
0:00:51 > 0:00:54- Is it possible for a stroke to turn someone gay?- No.
0:00:54 > 0:00:56Not even the love of his life.
0:00:56 > 0:00:58I've still got the same opinion
0:00:58 > 0:01:01that it was just something that was always there.
0:01:02 > 0:01:08He's now on a quest to rediscover the person he used to be.
0:01:08 > 0:01:10I can't think of their names.
0:01:10 > 0:01:13They didn't have names. Numbers.
0:01:13 > 0:01:14Notches.
0:01:14 > 0:01:17If you had seen Chris in school, the way he was, the way he looked,
0:01:17 > 0:01:21you would never in a million years have thought he was gay.
0:01:21 > 0:01:23You're sat on my lap.
0:01:23 > 0:01:25- And you're cuddling me.- Yeah.
0:01:25 > 0:01:27People have assumed, "Oh, it's just happening
0:01:27 > 0:01:29"because it's just a natural thing."
0:01:29 > 0:01:31If doctors and scientists of this world have got no idea
0:01:31 > 0:01:33what's happened to me and you,
0:01:33 > 0:01:35how can family and friends have any idea?
0:01:35 > 0:01:37The stroke turned me gay.
0:01:37 > 0:01:40Definitely. There's no other possibility.
0:01:57 > 0:02:00Today, Chris Birch lives
0:02:00 > 0:02:03in the small Welsh town of Ystrad Mynach.
0:02:03 > 0:02:05He used to work in a bank, lived for sport
0:02:05 > 0:02:08and was the life and soul of any party.
0:02:08 > 0:02:14# Now and then I think of when we were together... #
0:02:15 > 0:02:18Now he's a gay hairdresser
0:02:18 > 0:02:22with a love for beauty therapies and rose wine.
0:02:22 > 0:02:24You having it dry cut, or a cut and blow dry?
0:02:24 > 0:02:25Cut and blow dry, I think.
0:02:25 > 0:02:27- I think it's going to need it. - No problem.
0:02:27 > 0:02:29PHONE RINGS
0:02:29 > 0:02:31Good afternoon, Jay's hair salon.
0:02:31 > 0:02:33It's £28.
0:02:41 > 0:02:45Chris' dramatic change began with a freak accident.
0:02:45 > 0:02:47I rolled down that part of the hill
0:02:47 > 0:02:49just down there between those two pillars,
0:02:49 > 0:02:51and at first I thought
0:02:51 > 0:02:55maybe I'd, like, just got really, really dizzy,
0:02:55 > 0:02:58or maybe I twisted my neck or something like that,
0:02:58 > 0:03:01and I didn't realise it was a lot more serious than that.
0:03:01 > 0:03:03It's very...
0:03:03 > 0:03:05simply done, I suppose.
0:03:10 > 0:03:13This is the first time he's been back to the scene.
0:03:15 > 0:03:18My life changed at the bottom of that hill.
0:03:18 > 0:03:20Completely different at the top.
0:03:23 > 0:03:24This is just...
0:03:24 > 0:03:28It's just a little grass verge. It's nothing, it's pathetic.
0:03:28 > 0:03:32But yet old Chris was stood at the top
0:03:32 > 0:03:35and I ended up down there, you know?
0:03:35 > 0:03:38I finished playing squash with my brother up by there
0:03:38 > 0:03:41and his friend, and we were walking back down.
0:03:41 > 0:03:43Decided to...well, I suggested,
0:03:43 > 0:03:46"Let's do a forward roll down this hill."
0:03:46 > 0:03:50We went down and they wouldn't do another one, but I did,
0:03:50 > 0:03:51so they carried on walking a little bit.
0:03:51 > 0:03:55And then I go down and this is what happens.
0:03:55 > 0:03:58This is what I've got left.
0:03:58 > 0:04:00If I hadn't done the second forward roll,
0:04:00 > 0:04:06I would still be old Chris and not who I am now,
0:04:06 > 0:04:08so...and I prefer who I am now.
0:04:10 > 0:04:11Yeah.
0:04:19 > 0:04:22Doctors will never know for certain what happened to Chris that day,
0:04:22 > 0:04:26but it appears that the accident caused Chris to have a stroke.
0:04:28 > 0:04:31Every five minutes, someone in the UK has one.
0:04:31 > 0:04:33It's a brain attack.
0:04:33 > 0:04:36They happen when the vital blood supply to the brain
0:04:36 > 0:04:37is suddenly cut off.
0:04:41 > 0:04:44Starved of oxygen, brain cells die.
0:04:44 > 0:04:46Any part of the brain can be destroyed,
0:04:46 > 0:04:50affecting any part of how we move, think or feel.
0:04:52 > 0:04:54But of all those who suffer a stroke,
0:04:54 > 0:04:56roughly a third will recover,
0:04:56 > 0:04:58a third will be permanently disabled
0:04:58 > 0:05:00or changed from the person they once were,
0:05:00 > 0:05:02and a third will die.
0:05:10 > 0:05:15Anyone surviving a stroke has a 40% chance of having another.
0:05:15 > 0:05:17When I had the stroke,
0:05:17 > 0:05:19my brain was starved of oxygen,
0:05:19 > 0:05:23so this medicine stops me from having another one, really.
0:05:23 > 0:05:27This is part of my life, this is more important than my keys,
0:05:27 > 0:05:28my phone, my wallet, anything.
0:05:28 > 0:05:31It's a matter of life or death, I suppose.
0:05:33 > 0:05:35Every now and again it does get me down,
0:05:35 > 0:05:39taking these tablets every morning, every afternoon and every night.
0:05:39 > 0:05:43It's difficult because I can't raise my blood pressure too much,
0:05:43 > 0:05:47so I can't go swimming, I couldn't play squash or anything like that,
0:05:47 > 0:05:48something that I would normally do.
0:05:48 > 0:05:51I can't go running for too long or anything like that.
0:05:51 > 0:05:55Having to constantly be aware of things you have to do.
0:05:55 > 0:05:59Every now and again I do think, "Enough is enough.
0:05:59 > 0:06:02"I'm not going to take these tablets any more."
0:06:02 > 0:06:05And then I maybe go for about six hours or something like that
0:06:05 > 0:06:08without taking them, and then run back to them
0:06:08 > 0:06:12because I can't... I'm too afraid, basically.
0:06:12 > 0:06:17Over time, Chris has become aware of the physical changes to his body.
0:06:17 > 0:06:19Especially when I'm tired,
0:06:19 > 0:06:23you can see I have a droop in my left eye.
0:06:23 > 0:06:26But for some reason I've decided to cover my right eye with my hair
0:06:26 > 0:06:27to sort of disguise that.
0:06:27 > 0:06:32I think it detracts attention away from this eye being drooped.
0:06:32 > 0:06:34There are other parts that have drooped as well.
0:06:36 > 0:06:38Like my nipple, and...
0:06:38 > 0:06:41like, my one nipple is lower than the other, which is strange.
0:06:41 > 0:06:42You're joking.
0:06:42 > 0:06:44Honestly. Yeah.
0:06:44 > 0:06:47It's just this one is slightly lower than the other. It's really...
0:06:47 > 0:06:49It's pathetic and it's really stupid, and it's hardly...
0:06:49 > 0:06:53it's probably not even noticeable to nearly enough everybody,
0:06:53 > 0:06:56but the fact that you look at yourself in the mirror,
0:06:56 > 0:06:58you notice when you change.
0:06:58 > 0:07:01And I definitely noticed that change,
0:07:01 > 0:07:04even though Jak calls me stupid
0:07:04 > 0:07:06and says you can't notice it and things like that.
0:07:06 > 0:07:11But you do wonder if he's saying that just to be kind, kind of thing.
0:07:11 > 0:07:14- Are you willing to reveal your nipples to the nation?- No. No.
0:07:14 > 0:07:15They are like saucers.
0:07:15 > 0:07:16No, it's fine.
0:07:16 > 0:07:18HE LAUGHS
0:07:18 > 0:07:20Thank you, anyway!
0:07:23 > 0:07:25One of the most common complaints
0:07:25 > 0:07:28from people who've suffered a stroke is memory loss.
0:07:29 > 0:07:31Chris remembers almost nothing
0:07:31 > 0:07:35that happened before he rolled down the bank of the playing field.
0:07:36 > 0:07:39In an attempt to remember the man he used to be,
0:07:39 > 0:07:42Chris has been putting together a memory box.
0:07:42 > 0:07:46A lot of the things that happened before the stroke,
0:07:46 > 0:07:49I basically can't remember at all,
0:07:49 > 0:07:52and although you move on with your life and you just, you know,
0:07:52 > 0:07:55there's nothing you can do to bring those memories back.
0:07:55 > 0:07:58You know, nothing's going to sort that out.
0:07:58 > 0:08:02The things that I can't remember or the things that help jog my memory,
0:08:02 > 0:08:04things like that, stupid little things,
0:08:04 > 0:08:07they're all in this box.
0:08:07 > 0:08:10These are photos.
0:08:10 > 0:08:14That one's of me when I was a child.
0:08:14 > 0:08:15Here's one of me when I was...
0:08:15 > 0:08:18I think I was either 16 or 17 there -
0:08:18 > 0:08:22that was sort of the school prom, I suppose it's called.
0:08:23 > 0:08:27This is from a trip that my dad and I took to the Isle of Man,
0:08:27 > 0:08:29which meant a lot to me,
0:08:29 > 0:08:32but that I can't remember any more.
0:08:32 > 0:08:33It's a bit upsetting.
0:08:33 > 0:08:37I wouldn't have those memories at all if it wasn't for this.
0:08:37 > 0:08:40This jogs something there.
0:08:40 > 0:08:44And...Old Chris liked motorbikes.
0:08:44 > 0:08:46I don't really care any more.
0:08:46 > 0:08:48So that's that.
0:08:49 > 0:08:56And these are films that I've actually never had developed.
0:08:57 > 0:09:00I have absolutely no idea what's on them. So...
0:09:00 > 0:09:03old Chris is in here, sort of...
0:09:05 > 0:09:07..locked away.
0:09:10 > 0:09:15# Some way, baby, it's part of me apart from me... #
0:09:15 > 0:09:18For Chris, these mysterious films may help him piece together
0:09:18 > 0:09:20memories of his old self.
0:09:22 > 0:09:23- Hiya.- All right?
0:09:25 > 0:09:26Wonder if I can get these developed?
0:09:26 > 0:09:28Yeah, yeah, no problem at all.
0:09:31 > 0:09:34For the first time since his stroke,
0:09:34 > 0:09:38he's about to come face to face with the man he used to be.
0:09:41 > 0:09:45# Not the needle or the thread
0:09:45 > 0:09:46# The lost decree... #
0:09:50 > 0:09:53Oh, I dunno when that was.
0:09:54 > 0:09:56HE LAUGHS
0:09:57 > 0:09:58Er...
0:09:59 > 0:10:01I look awful in that photo.
0:10:01 > 0:10:03I look half dead.
0:10:03 > 0:10:05Oh, it's awful.
0:10:05 > 0:10:10This is the first time I've seen myself looking like this.
0:10:10 > 0:10:14- I most definitely would never have done that ever.- Let's have a look.
0:10:14 > 0:10:17Do you really want to see that?
0:10:17 > 0:10:20Oh, it's awful.
0:10:20 > 0:10:21Absolutely awful.
0:10:23 > 0:10:27It definitely sums old Chris up.
0:10:27 > 0:10:29Yeah.
0:10:29 > 0:10:31My God, I look chavvy.
0:10:33 > 0:10:35God, it's awful.
0:10:35 > 0:10:39I definitely wouldn't have half these photos taken now.
0:10:39 > 0:10:43These kind of things would be binned now, you know?
0:10:43 > 0:10:46It's like looking at someone else, you know?
0:10:46 > 0:10:48But with my face.
0:10:48 > 0:10:49Only younger.
0:10:49 > 0:10:53And in all fairness, if I met myself,
0:10:53 > 0:10:56I would probably carry on walking.
0:10:56 > 0:10:57You know?
0:10:58 > 0:11:01I'm trying to dispel these rumours that I was always gay.
0:11:03 > 0:11:05There's very little here
0:11:05 > 0:11:09that I look at here and I remember.
0:11:09 > 0:11:12I couldn't imagine being that same person.
0:11:17 > 0:11:18This is weird.
0:11:19 > 0:11:21Very strange.
0:11:21 > 0:11:23Though Chris' rebooted personality
0:11:23 > 0:11:26has cost him many close relationships,
0:11:26 > 0:11:29there's one photo that reminds him of the greatest loss of all.
0:11:31 > 0:11:34Looking at these, it would be nice
0:11:34 > 0:11:37if my mother played more of a role in my life...
0:11:38 > 0:11:39..now.
0:11:39 > 0:11:43Because I seem very happy then,
0:11:43 > 0:11:47and she's in the photos where I am happy, so...
0:11:49 > 0:11:51Hmm.
0:11:54 > 0:11:57In the months following Chris' accident,
0:11:57 > 0:12:01it was Chris' mum who first noticed the changes to his personality.
0:12:01 > 0:12:04She pushed for a full medical investigation,
0:12:04 > 0:12:07ultimately suggesting to Chris that it was a stroke
0:12:07 > 0:12:10that caused the changes he was experiencing.
0:12:10 > 0:12:13When I was ill, my mother was great.
0:12:13 > 0:12:16In all fairness, she was really close to me
0:12:16 > 0:12:18and she was taking me back and forth to the doctor's,
0:12:18 > 0:12:21and she took me back and forth to the neurologist, which was great.
0:12:21 > 0:12:23She turned into the very motherly role.
0:12:23 > 0:12:26She was very protective and took me to doctor's appointments.
0:12:29 > 0:12:32Today Chris still has regular brain scans,
0:12:32 > 0:12:34to make sure all is well.
0:12:34 > 0:12:37But while his mum once took him to hospital appointments,
0:12:37 > 0:12:39today he goes alone.
0:12:39 > 0:12:42Have you ever tried to rebuild your relationship?
0:12:45 > 0:12:47I think we did once...
0:12:48 > 0:12:52..but I don't think that went anywhere.
0:13:00 > 0:13:03# I wish I had one last try
0:13:04 > 0:13:07# Hidden somewhere inside
0:13:07 > 0:13:13# But it's all been spent before... #
0:13:13 > 0:13:16Over recent weeks, there have been times
0:13:16 > 0:13:19when Chris and his mum have stopped talking altogether.
0:13:20 > 0:13:22It's difficult even for me to come to terms with
0:13:22 > 0:13:25the person I am now and the changes that have happened,
0:13:25 > 0:13:28and I think for somebody who's known me for so long,
0:13:28 > 0:13:31and known me so closely,
0:13:31 > 0:13:35to realise that someone can change as much as they have,
0:13:35 > 0:13:38I think that's got to be quite a difficult experience for anybody.
0:13:38 > 0:13:41Especially for a mother and her child.
0:13:41 > 0:13:44I think that's quite a unique bond
0:13:44 > 0:13:49that when it's moved, altered, changed, taken away,
0:13:49 > 0:13:51I think there's a bereavement,
0:13:51 > 0:13:53there's something that goes on there.
0:13:53 > 0:13:56# Is this the end of the thread?
0:13:56 > 0:14:02# The thread that led me to lose my head... #
0:14:04 > 0:14:07You can love someone, you don't have to like them.
0:14:09 > 0:14:12So it could just be the case that...
0:14:12 > 0:14:15she loves me but she just doesn't like me,
0:14:15 > 0:14:17she can't stand the sight of my face.
0:14:17 > 0:14:19That's entirely possible,
0:14:19 > 0:14:22and I have the same feeling towards other people,
0:14:22 > 0:14:25so I couldn't blame her, I suppose.
0:14:25 > 0:14:27# You and me
0:14:30 > 0:14:32# Will be the same... #
0:15:11 > 0:15:15The next morning, Chris decides to write to his mum.
0:15:15 > 0:15:18'Dear Mam,
0:15:18 > 0:15:23'I'm writing to you because it's easier than texting or phoning.
0:15:23 > 0:15:27'I've been thinking lately about how our relationship has changed,
0:15:27 > 0:15:29'and we've drifted apart since my stroke.
0:15:29 > 0:15:32'I know I haven't always been the perfect son,
0:15:32 > 0:15:37'and there are things that I've done that I look back on and feel guilty about.
0:15:37 > 0:15:39'I know I can't change the past,
0:15:39 > 0:15:41'but I'd like it if you'd be more of a part of my future.
0:15:41 > 0:15:47'Maybe we could have a chat about this and try and move on, sometime.
0:15:47 > 0:15:48'Love, Chris.'
0:15:48 > 0:15:52Yeah it's quite difficult to write this letter.
0:15:52 > 0:15:55It's been a bit, erm...
0:15:55 > 0:15:58I suppose it's been a long time coming, really.
0:15:58 > 0:16:01It's needed to be done.
0:16:02 > 0:16:06I guess I'd be happy, the result of this letter being
0:16:06 > 0:16:08just the occasional text, I suppose.
0:16:08 > 0:16:09I'd be happy with that.
0:16:12 > 0:16:13Not too much. >
0:16:13 > 0:16:15No, not too much at all.
0:16:17 > 0:16:19The little things in life mean the most.
0:16:23 > 0:16:25That's it.
0:16:26 > 0:16:28Better send it.
0:16:43 > 0:16:46Going from before the stroke, liking girls,
0:16:46 > 0:16:50to having a stroke and waking up liking boys,
0:16:50 > 0:16:52that was a weird experience.
0:16:52 > 0:16:56It's just strange, in a sense, that you walk in to somewhere
0:16:56 > 0:17:01and all of a sudden you go from liking that girl to liking that boy.
0:17:01 > 0:17:04And the first time it happened, it was a really odd sensation.
0:17:04 > 0:17:08Thinking, "I never had these feelings before,
0:17:08 > 0:17:11"and how do I deal with these feelings?"
0:17:11 > 0:17:13It was quite a scary process.
0:17:15 > 0:17:18I think after being with the first person,
0:17:18 > 0:17:22or being with the first guy, it was a very odd experience
0:17:22 > 0:17:24and it was a bit like, fumble.
0:17:24 > 0:17:25I didn't know what I was doing.
0:17:25 > 0:17:27It's very... It's kind of a new thing.
0:17:29 > 0:17:33For Chris, living in a traditional south Wales community,
0:17:33 > 0:17:36it was a confusing period that left him feeling isolated.
0:17:36 > 0:17:39It was sort of a lonely time,
0:17:39 > 0:17:42it was a time where I was afraid to tell anybody
0:17:42 > 0:17:46because that wasn't who I used to be
0:17:46 > 0:17:47so it shouldn't be who I am now.
0:17:47 > 0:17:49And you're afraid to tell people,
0:17:49 > 0:17:52you're afraid to have that conversation
0:17:52 > 0:17:54and you're afraid to even talk about the possibility
0:17:54 > 0:17:57that I've changed in some way.
0:17:57 > 0:17:59Erm, and I suppose I dealt with it
0:17:59 > 0:18:03by moving out of my, sort of, my family home,
0:18:03 > 0:18:08moving out by myself and having to realise who I was all over again.
0:18:12 > 0:18:15While personality changes in people after strokes are rare,
0:18:15 > 0:18:17there are no recorded cases
0:18:17 > 0:18:20of a stroke turning a straight man gay.
0:18:28 > 0:18:31Chris has embraced his new gay life and is now happily living
0:18:31 > 0:18:34with his fiance, Jak, in the flat above the salon.
0:18:34 > 0:18:39It's domestic bliss in the heart of the Welsh Valleys.
0:18:39 > 0:18:43- Who normally does the domestic chores?- Me, Definitely me. Isn't it?
0:18:43 > 0:18:47- I don't even know how to switch an iron on.- No.
0:18:47 > 0:18:49We now know, like,
0:18:49 > 0:18:52Jak knows how to do the washing machine.
0:18:52 > 0:18:57We've figured that much out, but, yeah, not much else.
0:18:57 > 0:19:00JAK LAUGHS
0:19:00 > 0:19:02Jak's really good at baking cakes and things like that.
0:19:02 > 0:19:05He's big into that, which is good.
0:19:05 > 0:19:08So, it just means you end up putting on loads of weight.
0:19:08 > 0:19:11I cook out of boredom, not out of hunger, though.
0:19:11 > 0:19:12THEY LAUGH
0:19:14 > 0:19:16But not everything is rosy.
0:19:16 > 0:19:18Chris's straight to gay story
0:19:18 > 0:19:22has given him a bit of a problem. No one believes it.
0:19:22 > 0:19:24Not even Jak.
0:19:24 > 0:19:27It sounds like something
0:19:27 > 0:19:30someone who always knew they were gay would go through.
0:19:30 > 0:19:33He's just going through it at a later stage in life, really.
0:19:33 > 0:19:35And it would be weird to like...
0:19:35 > 0:19:37to like women before,
0:19:37 > 0:19:40but then I suppose a lot of gay men like women,
0:19:40 > 0:19:42and a lot of gay men are married with kids,
0:19:42 > 0:19:44and then they find out they're gay.
0:19:44 > 0:19:49So it's like, I compare his situation to a lot of more normal, heard-of situations.
0:19:58 > 0:20:02Here, if I type my name in on Google,
0:20:02 > 0:20:04and the first two hits that come up
0:20:04 > 0:20:06are "Chris Birch rugby" and "Chris Birch gay."
0:20:06 > 0:20:10And the third one that normally comes up is "Chris Birch stroke."
0:20:14 > 0:20:19When the story broke, it went viral, triggering a media frenzy.
0:20:19 > 0:20:23And it wasn't just Jak that had serious doubts about Chris's story.
0:20:23 > 0:20:27If I had read it, I wouldn't have believed it, but here I am.
0:20:27 > 0:20:31This guy is one of the few people
0:20:31 > 0:20:35who's actually touched a nerve with me, and has actually annoyed me.
0:20:35 > 0:20:39Odds are, and the odds are pretty high,
0:20:39 > 0:20:44'he was genetically gay before the stroke.'
0:20:44 > 0:20:47With his blase sort of, erm,
0:20:47 > 0:20:50upper class sounding accent, you know,
0:20:50 > 0:20:52and the fact that he's read some little article
0:20:52 > 0:20:56in some newspaper somewhere, and thinks he has an opinion on it, you know.
0:20:56 > 0:20:59Nice try, but the truth is,
0:20:59 > 0:21:01you were always gay.
0:21:01 > 0:21:03If you understand,
0:21:03 > 0:21:08I know this is true, but then, because everybody else doubts it,
0:21:08 > 0:21:11I start to doubt it, and then I sort of
0:21:11 > 0:21:16worry, then, that I've always had these feelings
0:21:16 > 0:21:19and maybe I just never knew them before, or something like that.
0:21:35 > 0:21:39Openly ridiculed wherever his story was discussed,
0:21:39 > 0:21:42Chris soon found himself doubted and mistrusted
0:21:42 > 0:21:43by those he'd once been closest to.
0:21:45 > 0:21:46After I had the stroke,
0:21:46 > 0:21:49everybody was very supportive, during the recovery process.
0:21:49 > 0:21:54It was just afterwards when I realised that I was completely different
0:21:54 > 0:21:59that everybody else around me started to become more distant.
0:21:59 > 0:22:03The things that held us together before aren't there any more.
0:22:05 > 0:22:08We have nothing in common, we have nothing to talk about.
0:22:09 > 0:22:13It's difficult to talk to people about it
0:22:13 > 0:22:16because they don't know what's going on inside,
0:22:16 > 0:22:18they don't know how you feel.
0:22:18 > 0:22:21Yeah, it's a bit of a lonely sort of moment, really.
0:22:23 > 0:22:28I didn't enjoy that part of my life when I realised I was somebody else,
0:22:28 > 0:22:31or where I'd had a lot of personality changes and things like that.
0:22:31 > 0:22:36Erm, yeah. I felt quite alone at that moment in time.
0:22:53 > 0:22:55Can I have a single to Bargoed, please?
0:23:02 > 0:23:04Although Chris has lost touch with almost all of
0:23:04 > 0:23:08the wide circle of friends he used to have,
0:23:08 > 0:23:11there's one school friend who's stood by him.
0:23:18 > 0:23:22One who can help him remember what he was really like before.
0:23:26 > 0:23:28- Hello!- How are you?- How are you? - I'm all right. You?
0:23:28 > 0:23:31Terri is, perhaps, the only person who can tell Chris
0:23:31 > 0:23:33how much he's really changed.
0:23:35 > 0:23:39So would you say I'm a different person, personality wise?
0:23:39 > 0:23:41- No.- No?- No.
0:23:41 > 0:23:44- You're still the same person to me. - Yeah?
0:23:44 > 0:23:48Yeah. You're the same Chris as you was in school as you are now.
0:23:48 > 0:23:50Well, that's good to know.
0:23:50 > 0:23:52The only thing that has changed is obviously
0:23:52 > 0:23:54your looks and your sexuality, that's it.
0:23:54 > 0:23:57Would you say my voice has sort of changed?
0:23:57 > 0:24:00Like, gone softer or anything like that?
0:24:00 > 0:24:02Yeah, it has. You sound, I don't mean...
0:24:02 > 0:24:04You sound a bit more feminine.
0:24:04 > 0:24:07- THEY LAUGH That's nuts.- There's nothing wrong with it, though.
0:24:07 > 0:24:09OK, that's all right. I won't change that, then.
0:24:09 > 0:24:13- No, don't change that.- I can't do anything about it, anyway!- No.
0:24:13 > 0:24:16If you had seen Chris in school the way he was, the way he looked,
0:24:16 > 0:24:20you would never in a million years thought he was gay.
0:24:20 > 0:24:22Never.
0:24:22 > 0:24:26If you had stood him up with nine other boys
0:24:26 > 0:24:29and had to point out who you thought would be the least gay,
0:24:29 > 0:24:33- it would be Chris.- Fab.
0:24:34 > 0:24:38- There's loads of things from school that I can't really remember.- Yeah.
0:24:38 > 0:24:40So I can't really tell you...
0:24:40 > 0:24:46- You know, I can't really tell 100% how different I was.- Yeah.
0:24:46 > 0:24:49- So it's nice to know that you... - Just that reassurance.- Yeah.
0:24:49 > 0:24:52Pop your head down a bit for me.
0:24:56 > 0:25:00- There's that little edge there... - Right, OK, we'll do that little edge.
0:25:00 > 0:25:04- And straighten it up after?- If you don't mind? That'd be lovely, please.
0:25:04 > 0:25:07While Chris was once only interested in beer, rugby and girls,
0:25:07 > 0:25:11his new found interest in appearance has not only provided him with a job,
0:25:11 > 0:25:14it's also provided him with a new circle of friends -
0:25:14 > 0:25:16almost a family.
0:25:16 > 0:25:21The best reaction was, "Gay or straight, it's no excuse for a stupid haircut."
0:25:21 > 0:25:24- I still love that one.- Yes. - That's still my favourite.
0:25:24 > 0:25:27"Don't care what sexuality you are, your hair's stupid."
0:25:27 > 0:25:30ALL LAUGH
0:25:45 > 0:25:47As well as being good mates,
0:25:47 > 0:25:51there's nothing they like more than partying together too.
0:25:53 > 0:25:55Oh, this is nice.
0:25:55 > 0:25:58Wow. Fab!
0:26:02 > 0:26:04- Gays!- Gays, we love the gays!
0:26:04 > 0:26:07ALL CHEER
0:26:07 > 0:26:13The girls in the salon are like my surrogate mothers in a way.
0:26:13 > 0:26:15OK, everybody, are we ready to go?
0:26:15 > 0:26:17ALL CHEER
0:26:17 > 0:26:21One in particular, I suppose she's more like my sister than my mother
0:26:21 > 0:26:24and they were there to sort of protect me and support me in one way,
0:26:24 > 0:26:27which I'm really grateful for, in all fairness.
0:26:30 > 0:26:32Woo!
0:26:40 > 0:26:44- How's the extensions? - They're glued in quite well.
0:26:44 > 0:26:47They're glued in well, I can tell you!
0:26:56 > 0:27:00It should be at this point that I say that I'm not a big fan of water.
0:27:00 > 0:27:02Not a big fan.
0:27:05 > 0:27:08And we're in the sea...
0:27:09 > 0:27:11..in a dingy...
0:27:11 > 0:27:14in a 60 mile-an-hour dingy!
0:27:24 > 0:27:27I can't say I miss my old life because I really like this life.
0:27:27 > 0:27:30I love what I'm doing now.
0:27:30 > 0:27:35I don't know, I can't say I'm a passionate hairdresser, I'm not that gay,
0:27:35 > 0:27:38but I like the...
0:27:38 > 0:27:42Sorry that's probably really offensive but I don't care.
0:27:42 > 0:27:46I can say poof and gay and queer and everything like that because that's what I am.
0:27:48 > 0:27:54The girls in the salon, who are wonderful with me, I have to be fair...
0:27:54 > 0:27:59And even though I probably don't do anything while I'm there,
0:27:59 > 0:28:01they still keep me there.
0:28:01 > 0:28:03It's great, I love them. Mwah!
0:28:12 > 0:28:17Not prepared to believe that Chris is unique to medical science,
0:28:17 > 0:28:20Jak is now more convinced than ever that Chris was always gay,
0:28:20 > 0:28:24even if Chris himself didn't realise it.
0:28:24 > 0:28:29I've still got the same opinion that it was just something that was always there.
0:28:29 > 0:28:34No matter if, you know, a stroke brought out a brand-new thing in you
0:28:34 > 0:28:37or if it just brought something out in you that was always there.
0:28:37 > 0:28:42It was something that was always there that hadn't switched on before.
0:28:42 > 0:28:44You've got to agree with that.
0:28:44 > 0:28:49Yeah but people grow up not knowing they're gay and they have families and then they realise they're gay.
0:28:49 > 0:28:52But they don't have a stroke or anything to realise.
0:28:52 > 0:28:56They, at some point, though, suddenly realised,
0:28:56 > 0:28:59so maybe the stroke just made me suddenly realise.
0:28:59 > 0:29:02So the stroke turned me gay.
0:29:02 > 0:29:06- Helped you find out that you were gay.- But I didn't know before.
0:29:09 > 0:29:12- Anyway! - BOTH LAUGH
0:29:12 > 0:29:14There's no winning an argument with him.
0:29:14 > 0:29:18This is never going to be me saying what I think
0:29:18 > 0:29:21- because he will always be right. - Yeah.
0:29:21 > 0:29:25- So do you think something just naturally switched on with you?- Yeah.
0:29:25 > 0:29:29And I think eventually if you hadn't had a stroke, it would have happened to you as well.
0:29:29 > 0:29:32So the stroke brought it on sooner, that's what you think?
0:29:32 > 0:29:36- Yeah.- So the stroke turned me gay, then.- But it didn't, though.
0:29:37 > 0:29:40We're never going to reach an agreement here, I don't think.
0:29:40 > 0:29:43But it's fine, it's something to talk about. For the rest of our lives.
0:29:49 > 0:29:54But Chris might have an opportunity to end the argument once and for all.
0:29:54 > 0:29:58His extraordinary story has attracted national attention,
0:29:58 > 0:30:04and Chris has been invited to undergo tests with a leading expert in sexual orientation.
0:30:14 > 0:30:18Dr Qazi Rahman of Queen Mary University of London
0:30:18 > 0:30:22has tested hundreds of gay, lesbian and straight volunteers
0:30:22 > 0:30:28and detected patterns that tell him if a person was born gay or straight,
0:30:28 > 0:30:31regardless of the lifestyle they currently live.
0:30:33 > 0:30:37We're in London and we're about to get started doing some tests.
0:30:37 > 0:30:41Feel a bit like a guinea pig, to be honest.
0:30:41 > 0:30:46All the scientists seem to love my story
0:30:46 > 0:30:49and they get really excited over it, for some stupid reason.
0:30:49 > 0:30:53So, yeah, we're going to do these tests now and...
0:30:53 > 0:30:57yeah, I'm a little bit nervous, if I'm honest.
0:30:57 > 0:31:02But hopefully it should clear a few things up, I'm hoping.
0:31:04 > 0:31:07Hello, Chris. How do you do?
0:31:07 > 0:31:09Hi, Jak, nice to meet you.
0:31:09 > 0:31:13Well, the work I do is regarding
0:31:13 > 0:31:17studying the biological basis of what makes people gay or straight.
0:31:17 > 0:31:20And what this research shows us is that the brains of gay men
0:31:20 > 0:31:23- are perhaps organised in a different way or work in a different way.- OK.
0:31:23 > 0:31:28And we think that that might be because of biological factors such as genes,
0:31:28 > 0:31:33and hormonal factors that operate early in life, perhaps even before birth.
0:31:41 > 0:31:43Though controversial,
0:31:43 > 0:31:48some scientists think that our genes and hormones may determine sexuality before birth,
0:31:48 > 0:31:53and personality traits too. These traits can be tested.
0:31:53 > 0:31:57And this means Dr Rahman is then able to work out whether or not
0:31:57 > 0:32:00a person was truly born gay.
0:32:00 > 0:32:04I think he would be upset if he did the tests
0:32:04 > 0:32:07and the results came out that he was gay before he had the stroke.
0:32:07 > 0:32:11I think he's based his whole life on everything that he thinks has happened
0:32:11 > 0:32:14so it would be like almost starting from scratch again,
0:32:14 > 0:32:18like he wasn't actually straight before, and it's a whole new hurdle he's got to get over.
0:32:18 > 0:32:20It would be quite hard for him, I think.
0:32:35 > 0:32:37So how was that, Chris?
0:32:37 > 0:32:42- It wasn't too bad, it was fine. - Good. Good.- All right?
0:32:42 > 0:32:47So the tests you performed were tests of how gay your brain is.
0:32:47 > 0:32:49So on half of these tests,
0:32:49 > 0:32:52you do perform in the expected direction for a gay man,
0:32:52 > 0:32:55but for half, you don't. You perform within the range of a straight man.
0:32:55 > 0:33:01So does that mean that these tests, to put it in my terms,
0:33:01 > 0:33:05does that mean the stroke could have caused me to be gay?
0:33:05 > 0:33:09- I would put my bets on no for now.- OK.
0:33:15 > 0:33:18- But the evidence says it's possible. - Yes.
0:33:18 > 0:33:20But you say no.
0:33:20 > 0:33:24The bulk of the evidence, in the biological sciences,
0:33:24 > 0:33:27the genetics, in psychology and neuroscience,
0:33:27 > 0:33:31suggest that sexuality is something that you're born with
0:33:31 > 0:33:33and it develops later on through life.
0:33:33 > 0:33:36And yet I'm standing here.
0:33:36 > 0:33:39Sometimes it takes something like a neurological insult,
0:33:39 > 0:33:41which is what a stroke is,
0:33:41 > 0:33:44to make you reassess those feelings perhaps that are lying dormant
0:33:44 > 0:33:47and bring them into the front of your mind.
0:33:47 > 0:33:50And it's possible that that's what's happened with you.
0:33:50 > 0:33:53If it lays dormant in his brain, is there ever a possibility,
0:33:53 > 0:33:56if he was to have another stroke again, and things changed his brain,
0:33:56 > 0:33:59that he could go back to what he thought was straight? With it dormant again.
0:33:59 > 0:34:02The short answer to that is we don't know.
0:34:02 > 0:34:06The evidence to date suggests that if you develop, if you like,
0:34:06 > 0:34:10or release a psychological trait after a stroke,
0:34:10 > 0:34:11you don't really go back.
0:34:11 > 0:34:17There's always the fear in the back of your mind that it could go back and then...
0:34:17 > 0:34:22- But I suppose if the science is saying otherwise, you're safe for now.- Yeah.
0:34:22 > 0:34:25'It's really, to be honest, really irritating.'
0:34:25 > 0:34:31In all fairness, I've had to deal with, "I don't believe you, this can't happen,"
0:34:31 > 0:34:37and doctors saying things like, "Well, we can't tell you for definite," and all this shit.
0:34:37 > 0:34:39Which, OK, you're entitled to your opinion,
0:34:39 > 0:34:43but, at the end of the day, I've got to live with this, not you.
0:34:46 > 0:34:48To be honest, it fucks me off.
0:34:59 > 0:35:04Chris is convinced the stroke has changed him in all sorts of ways.
0:35:06 > 0:35:10Old Chris had no interest in his appearance,
0:35:10 > 0:35:13but new Chris is keen to correct any imperfections.
0:35:15 > 0:35:18He visits Jo for regular doses of botox.
0:35:18 > 0:35:22OK, then, here we go. A little bit of a sharp scratch coming in.
0:35:22 > 0:35:23Fantastic.
0:35:23 > 0:35:29I think if my ex-girlfriends could see this now, they would be laughing.
0:35:29 > 0:35:32Do you keep in touch with any of them? Do you see them around?
0:35:32 > 0:35:37- No.- No? You haven't spoken to them to see what they think...
0:35:37 > 0:35:39- how you've changed?- No.
0:35:39 > 0:35:43- Not purposely.- Yeah, you just haven't bumped into them.
0:35:43 > 0:35:47Because it would be quite interesting to see how they see the change,
0:35:47 > 0:35:50because obviously you see it from a very personal point of view,
0:35:50 > 0:35:53but they may see it more objectively.
0:35:53 > 0:35:56They knew the old Chris, obviously knew the old Chris quite well.
0:35:56 > 0:35:59That's a good point.
0:35:59 > 0:36:01I'll have to get in touch. SHE LAUGHS
0:36:12 > 0:36:16When I went to see Jo, who did my botox for me the other day,
0:36:16 > 0:36:21she said about ex-girlfriends and things like that and, "Have I been in touch with them?"
0:36:21 > 0:36:25And I realised that I haven't been in touch with any of them since the stroke.
0:36:25 > 0:36:30So I'm going to make a list of the girls who I went out with in the past
0:36:30 > 0:36:33and see if I can get in touch with them, really.
0:36:33 > 0:36:36I'm hoping these girls will be able to say
0:36:36 > 0:36:39that I definitely fancied them and it was definitely genuine
0:36:39 > 0:36:43and it wasn't some sort of cover story or anything like that.
0:36:43 > 0:36:45It's trouble remembering, that's the problem.
0:36:45 > 0:36:49There's drink involved, then all of a sudden everything gets forgotten, doesn't it?
0:36:50 > 0:36:53I think there might be two broken hearts on here
0:36:53 > 0:36:55and I think the rest were just glad to get rid of me.
0:36:55 > 0:36:59I would be!
0:36:59 > 0:37:05Awful. The old Chris was an awful boyfriend, terrible.
0:37:05 > 0:37:08Just kind of loving them and leaving them kind of thing.
0:37:08 > 0:37:12The way it's going, it's not looking good.
0:37:12 > 0:37:14Bit of a player. Yeah.
0:37:14 > 0:37:16I don't like it.
0:37:16 > 0:37:21There was a girl - my friend and I went on holiday to Magaluf -
0:37:21 > 0:37:25and there was a girl there and I can't remember her name.
0:37:25 > 0:37:27She's probably going to see me.
0:37:27 > 0:37:30She doesn't live round here so it's fine.
0:37:30 > 0:37:34There was a girl in the rugby club down here,
0:37:34 > 0:37:37and I can't think of her name to save my life.
0:37:37 > 0:37:39And then we used to go to a club in Blackwood
0:37:39 > 0:37:42and there were quite a few there
0:37:42 > 0:37:47and I can't remember any of their names.
0:37:47 > 0:37:50I can't think of their names!
0:37:50 > 0:37:55They didn't have names. They were numbers, notches.
0:37:55 > 0:37:58No, that's awful, don't say that.
0:38:09 > 0:38:13Chris' memories of life before the stroke are patchy at best,
0:38:13 > 0:38:16but he's thought of a way to track down an old flame -
0:38:16 > 0:38:20a clue he remembered spotting in the photographs from his memory box.
0:38:21 > 0:38:27These are the photos that I found in my memory box that we got developed.
0:38:27 > 0:38:31I'm looking for an ex-girlfriend
0:38:31 > 0:38:36who I think went on this trip with me.
0:38:36 > 0:38:38I'm hoping so, anyway.
0:38:38 > 0:38:43And if she is, I'm looking to see if I can get in touch with her.
0:38:50 > 0:38:52Ah. Right, this is her.
0:38:53 > 0:38:59Yeah, we were at a film studios in California...
0:39:00 > 0:39:03..stood next to cardboard cut-outs.
0:39:06 > 0:39:12I can't remember if we were going out, actually, I don't really know.
0:39:12 > 0:39:14Might be nice to find out, actually.
0:39:15 > 0:39:20I think now knowing that she was on this trip -
0:39:20 > 0:39:23because it's jogging a few memories just looking through these photos -
0:39:23 > 0:39:25I think it would be best if maybe I get in touch with her
0:39:25 > 0:39:28and see if she can shed a bit more light on these things.
0:39:30 > 0:39:35The main one being to make sure that I was definitely straight before.
0:39:35 > 0:39:37Who better to tell me that?
0:39:41 > 0:39:43Using social network sites,
0:39:43 > 0:39:47he finds it easy to track down the girl in the photograph.
0:39:49 > 0:39:51What should I write? You're a girl.
0:39:53 > 0:39:55Ah.
0:40:01 > 0:40:02I have found her.
0:40:07 > 0:40:09I'm sort of struggling as to what to say, though.
0:40:09 > 0:40:14I can't remember on what terms we left on.
0:40:14 > 0:40:20So... Because obviously an ex is an ex for a reason, so...
0:40:20 > 0:40:22I'm hoping if she does agree to meet me,
0:40:22 > 0:40:26it's not just to quickly give me a slap in the face or anything.
0:40:26 > 0:40:28That wouldn't be so good.
0:40:28 > 0:40:32With his message now sent, all Chris can do is wait.
0:40:38 > 0:40:40In spite of medical opinion,
0:40:40 > 0:40:44the views of his partner Jak, and much of the world's press,
0:40:44 > 0:40:47Chris alone is convinced that the stroke turned him gay.
0:40:49 > 0:40:52Quietly, he's continued his detective work
0:40:52 > 0:40:55and has found the one person who might be able to help.
0:40:59 > 0:41:01Oh, hello. Chris? Hi.
0:41:01 > 0:41:04Cardiff-based consultant neuropsychiatrist Dr Sudad Jawad
0:41:04 > 0:41:08has worked with hundreds of young people who've had strokes.
0:41:08 > 0:41:13If anyone knows the impact a stroke can have, it's Dr Jawad.
0:41:13 > 0:41:17Can you tell me a bit more about the patients you've treated in the past?
0:41:17 > 0:41:20Some people who have a stroke in early life,
0:41:20 > 0:41:23you find there's a dramatic change in their personality.
0:41:23 > 0:41:25Have you found that with a lot of people?
0:41:25 > 0:41:27Yes, you find that a lot.
0:41:27 > 0:41:33People do change. People sometimes change the way they behave, they think.
0:41:33 > 0:41:37So have you ever encountered someone whose sexual orientation has changed after a stroke?
0:41:37 > 0:41:43Yes, I have come across a gentleman whom you see...
0:41:43 > 0:41:47his sexual orientation has dramatically changed
0:41:47 > 0:41:51following a stroke, from homosexual to heterosexual.
0:41:51 > 0:41:53So I've come across this case, for example.
0:41:54 > 0:41:57That person noticed that gradually
0:41:57 > 0:42:03and stated openly that he found himself now different.
0:42:03 > 0:42:05So, yes, we come across unusual cases.
0:42:05 > 0:42:08So, in your experience,
0:42:08 > 0:42:12do you believe that a stroke can change your sexual orientation?
0:42:12 > 0:42:14I think it's possible, yes.
0:42:14 > 0:42:18Just like a stroke can change you as a person, your behaviour,
0:42:18 > 0:42:21your personality, the way you think,
0:42:21 > 0:42:23why not sexual orientation?
0:42:23 > 0:42:27- It's part of the personality of the individual, isn't it?- Yeah.
0:42:27 > 0:42:28- It's all linked together.- Right.
0:42:28 > 0:42:31I mean, people's behaviour, the way they think,
0:42:31 > 0:42:36the way they feel, the way they act, the way they behave in society,
0:42:36 > 0:42:38- we call it personality.- Mmm-hmm.
0:42:38 > 0:42:43That changes following a head injury, following a stroke.
0:42:44 > 0:42:48So why not sexual orientation? It could change as well, you know?
0:42:48 > 0:42:49That's absolutely amazing.
0:42:49 > 0:42:53That's very reassuring to know from my point of view.
0:42:55 > 0:42:57That's great.
0:42:57 > 0:43:01- I don't know what else to say to that. Dr Jawad, I really appreciate you seeing me.- My pleasure.
0:43:01 > 0:43:05Thank you so much. I've learned so much today. I really appreciate it.
0:43:05 > 0:43:08I wish you the best of luck. Look after yourself. Goodbye.
0:43:14 > 0:43:17I feel so relieved now.
0:43:17 > 0:43:20I've met a doctor who's treated someone who had a stroke
0:43:20 > 0:43:22and it changed his sexuality.
0:43:22 > 0:43:24It's a real weight off my shoulders now.
0:43:40 > 0:43:42Chris has had a reply to his e-mail.
0:43:46 > 0:43:50It turns out his old flame Lynsey is now married and still living nearby.
0:43:55 > 0:43:58She's agreed to meet in the local pub.
0:44:00 > 0:44:04- Hello, how are you?- Nice to see you. God, you look different. - I know. Thanks!
0:44:04 > 0:44:08- So do you.- I don't know. - Come sit down.
0:44:08 > 0:44:11Thanks so much for coming.
0:44:11 > 0:44:14I really appreciate it because I've got these photos to show you,
0:44:14 > 0:44:17and it would be great to just go through it with somebody else.
0:44:17 > 0:44:22- Yeah.- So you can have a look at them as well. There's... There you are.
0:44:22 > 0:44:25- There's me.- Yeah. That's where I found you, right next to Tom Hanks.
0:44:25 > 0:44:27I remember the Apollo 13 picture.
0:44:27 > 0:44:31- I don't know why we had to have a picture next to that one.- No.
0:44:31 > 0:44:35- Just a really random photo. - I can't believe what I'm wearing and what you're wearing!
0:44:35 > 0:44:39- What's wrong with what I'm wearing? - The state of us both!
0:44:39 > 0:44:41- Speak for yourself there. - Proper '90s.
0:44:42 > 0:44:45My memory of this has been absolutely rubbish.
0:44:45 > 0:44:47Do you not remember being there?
0:44:47 > 0:44:49No. It is like looking at somebody else
0:44:49 > 0:44:51and getting the occasional memory from somebody else.
0:44:51 > 0:44:54Well, I brought a photo to show you as well of when we were younger,
0:44:54 > 0:44:57when we were in that play.
0:44:57 > 0:44:59- I remember how close we were then. - Yeah. I only did that
0:44:59 > 0:45:02- because I fancied you at the time. - Yes.- It's very strange.
0:45:02 > 0:45:04These are the stories you tell, anyway.
0:45:04 > 0:45:07I don't know, I just remember that photo distinctly.
0:45:07 > 0:45:12- You talked me into that.- I did talk you into it but it was nice, though, it was nice times that we spent.
0:45:12 > 0:45:15- I enjoyed that.- Obviously, that's us in the corner there.
0:45:15 > 0:45:21- In a nice little cuddle there. - What was your memory of me there?
0:45:21 > 0:45:25Because my memory is completely gone about who I used to be.
0:45:25 > 0:45:29I don't... I would never have openly said that I thought you were gay.
0:45:29 > 0:45:34But... But the Chris now, here, I would obviously say is gay.
0:45:34 > 0:45:38It's difficult looking back because, you know,
0:45:38 > 0:45:42it is difficult to compare the two people in my mind who seem different.
0:45:42 > 0:45:47It is nice for someone like you, who knew me before the stroke,
0:45:47 > 0:45:49to actually say, "No, I never thought you were gay."
0:45:49 > 0:45:51That is really reassuring.
0:45:51 > 0:45:55I don't know, people can't judge, they don't know you.
0:45:55 > 0:45:59- They didn't know you before and they don't know you now.- But you knew me.
0:45:59 > 0:46:01- Obviously.- Well, yeah. - So that's good.- There's me.
0:46:01 > 0:46:04- I was right there with you. - Couldn't have got much closer.
0:46:04 > 0:46:07- That is very true. That's a very close picture.- Yeah.
0:46:07 > 0:46:10- You were sat on my lap. - And you were cuddling me.- Yeah.
0:46:10 > 0:46:12BOTH: Aw.
0:46:12 > 0:46:13BOTH LAUGH
0:46:24 > 0:46:29It's not unusual for stroke sufferers to lose touch with people who were once close to them.
0:46:35 > 0:46:39When blood doesn't get oxygen to the brain, parts of it can die,
0:46:39 > 0:46:42leaving the brain to make new connections.
0:46:43 > 0:46:49Sometimes those new connections result in extraordinary transformations -
0:46:49 > 0:46:54transformations that friends and family often find hard to cope with.
0:47:06 > 0:47:08Chris has been doing his research
0:47:08 > 0:47:11and has come across the story of Tommy McHugh from Liverpool -
0:47:11 > 0:47:16a man, who, like Chris, had his personality changed for ever by a stroke.
0:47:30 > 0:47:35Chris wants to know how his friends and family coped with the changes he experienced.
0:47:36 > 0:47:40- Hello, Chris, come in. How are you doing?- I'm all right.
0:47:40 > 0:47:43- Thanks coming down here. - It's great. Thanks for having me.
0:47:43 > 0:47:47It's really brave and strong of you to come down here
0:47:47 > 0:47:50- and speak with us about what's going on with you.- This is great.
0:47:50 > 0:47:56- It's a bit of my Cuckoo's Nest madhouse, Chris. - TOMMY LAUGHS
0:47:56 > 0:47:59The stroke caused you to start painting?
0:47:59 > 0:48:01Everything, Chris. It started me painting, talking in rhyme,
0:48:01 > 0:48:06writing rhyme - just creating art.
0:48:06 > 0:48:09I never had talent before, I didn't have any artistic talent.
0:48:09 > 0:48:13I was a builder, and stuff like that. I never knew art.
0:48:13 > 0:48:18At times, I wish this had happened to me when I was 14 years of age.
0:48:18 > 0:48:21I could have been an artist all my life or creative.
0:48:21 > 0:48:23It was a whole new world for me.
0:48:23 > 0:48:27I lost family, friends, wife, and everything when this happened to me,
0:48:27 > 0:48:32because I changed so quickly. As you know, it's an alien change.
0:48:32 > 0:48:36You kind of live isolated and alone with what's gone on with you
0:48:36 > 0:48:42because there's not many people that can understand the dramatic changes
0:48:42 > 0:48:45that happen to anyone who's had a stroke.
0:48:45 > 0:48:48It's so, so weird and alien.
0:48:48 > 0:48:51You look at... I was looking at these tattoos.
0:48:51 > 0:48:54I couldn't remember putting them on.
0:48:54 > 0:48:58Seeing them, and thinking, "Who the hell put these on?"
0:48:58 > 0:49:00You are looking at them all and you're thinking...
0:49:00 > 0:49:03I looked in the mirror and I went, "Who are you?"
0:49:03 > 0:49:07They call me Tommy, and I'm going, "But I don't recognise him." Like you.
0:49:07 > 0:49:11- Things were different.- Yeah. - Emotions were different.
0:49:11 > 0:49:15Come up and let me show you some of the stuff I've painted up here.
0:49:15 > 0:49:17I painted everywhere, you know.
0:49:17 > 0:49:21Even under all these pictures, there are all kinds of other images.
0:49:21 > 0:49:26- You've painted on top of them again? - Yeah. Over and over.
0:49:26 > 0:49:29Some of the paintings I've painted over and over again.
0:49:29 > 0:49:33I even painted some of these with nail varnish and stuff, and everything.
0:49:33 > 0:49:37Like... Even clay heads.
0:49:37 > 0:49:39Writing in rhyme, drawing little figures,
0:49:39 > 0:49:42and sculpting and painting, it seemed endless,
0:49:42 > 0:49:45all the different things that were coming out the brain.
0:49:45 > 0:49:48It was like just one cell had been locked.
0:49:48 > 0:49:51- You must have experienced it yourself?- Yeah.- The changes.
0:49:51 > 0:49:56- Yeah, definitely.- Even then, I couldn't get anyone to believe me, Chris.
0:49:56 > 0:49:58It was total shock.
0:49:58 > 0:50:02Have you had that just with friends or with family as well?
0:50:02 > 0:50:05No, it was friends and family, they kind of doubted me,
0:50:05 > 0:50:09- they doubted all this was coming from me.- I had the same.
0:50:09 > 0:50:14Well, that's what I was going to ask you about. How is it like for you?
0:50:14 > 0:50:17It has been quite difficult because people have assumed,
0:50:17 > 0:50:20"Oh, it's just happening because it's just a natural thing.
0:50:20 > 0:50:23"As you're growing up, you change," but it's not.
0:50:23 > 0:50:26It happened from a single point in time.
0:50:26 > 0:50:28All of a sudden, it just explodes from there
0:50:28 > 0:50:32- and you become a different person from there. - That's exactly how it was for me.
0:50:32 > 0:50:36And you obviously have been going through what I've been going through.
0:50:36 > 0:50:40It's taken nearly 11 years for people to understand that I'm not kidding them.
0:50:40 > 0:50:45All my family and friends now know I'm not kidding them.
0:50:45 > 0:50:50But the problem is, they stayed away from me for so long and misjudged me for so long,
0:50:50 > 0:50:55that they're more than likely too scared to come and see me again now that they know it's true.
0:50:55 > 0:50:58My identity has changed, like yours has.
0:50:58 > 0:51:02These people have got no idea of what's happened inside the brain.
0:51:02 > 0:51:06If doctors and scientists of this world have got no idea what's happened to me and you,
0:51:06 > 0:51:09how can family and friends have any idea?
0:51:09 > 0:51:11Why should they prejudge us?
0:51:11 > 0:51:13It's absolutely brilliant to meet you, I've got to be fair.
0:51:13 > 0:51:18Because you were saying things that I've been thinking and you've already been there,
0:51:18 > 0:51:23you've already had to put up with the problems with having to face people
0:51:23 > 0:51:28and people not believing you, and things like that.
0:51:28 > 0:51:31It's nice to know that it's not just someone like me,
0:51:31 > 0:51:33it's not just me who is not being believed.
0:51:33 > 0:51:37- I don't just feel alone in a way, if you know what I mean.- Exactly.
0:51:37 > 0:51:40Chris, come here, kid.
0:51:40 > 0:51:44That is the beauty of it all, mate. It really is. I'm so proud of you.
0:51:44 > 0:51:48I really am. Stay strong, Chris. Always stay strong.
0:51:48 > 0:51:50Don't be negative about anything.
0:51:55 > 0:52:00Today I met Tommy McHugh. Absolutely amazing guy.
0:52:00 > 0:52:03I learned shedloads from being with him today.
0:52:04 > 0:52:10Because he had a stroke, and it's changed him, years before me,
0:52:10 > 0:52:15and he's just learned far, far more than I could have ever hoped.
0:52:16 > 0:52:21He's told me things that... Like his family became more distant with him,
0:52:21 > 0:52:24same with me, his friends, same with me,
0:52:24 > 0:52:28he developed a completely different personality, same with me.
0:52:28 > 0:52:33I feel like we're kindred spirits, in a sort of strange way.
0:52:33 > 0:52:37I think the main thing I'm going to take away from meeting Tommy
0:52:37 > 0:52:40is no matter what happens, I am who I am,
0:52:40 > 0:52:43and I should be proud of that.
0:52:43 > 0:52:48So after meeting Tommy today, I really don't care about what anybody else thinks
0:52:48 > 0:52:51because Tommy is happy, I'm happy...
0:52:52 > 0:52:55..and that's just the way it's going to stay.
0:53:10 > 0:53:13For the first time since the accident,
0:53:13 > 0:53:16Chris is looking to the future.
0:53:16 > 0:53:19There's rings up there as well. That one on the right is quite nice.
0:53:19 > 0:53:22See the furthest right at the top? That one's quite nice.
0:53:22 > 0:53:25I like that. We could go in and have a look if you wanted to.
0:53:25 > 0:53:26Shall we go in?
0:53:26 > 0:53:30- Hiya.- Hello.- Could we look at some men's rings, please?- Yes.
0:53:30 > 0:53:33- Some silver rings? - That would be great, yes, please.
0:53:33 > 0:53:39I proposed to Jak, didn't I? And...
0:53:39 > 0:53:40Oh, that fits really well.
0:53:40 > 0:53:43And I bought him an engagement ring
0:53:43 > 0:53:46but he's never bought me an engagement ring.
0:53:46 > 0:53:48I'll end up buying myself one.
0:53:48 > 0:53:50I said, "Would you like to get married one day?"
0:53:50 > 0:53:52I think it was something like that, wasn't it?
0:53:52 > 0:53:54It wasn't, "Will you marry me?" or anything like that.
0:53:54 > 0:53:58- Nothing so romantic! I'm not very romantic anyway, am I?- No.
0:53:58 > 0:54:00Thought not.
0:54:15 > 0:54:19Back at home, Chris is preparing to leave old Chris behind.
0:54:23 > 0:54:28I'm putting old Chris into...
0:54:28 > 0:54:30into a photo album.
0:54:31 > 0:54:36It's like a book of the person I used to be.
0:54:37 > 0:54:42These photos represent who I used to be,
0:54:42 > 0:54:45and there's a lot of memories I haven't got any more,
0:54:45 > 0:54:48and I've got a book of memories now, which is great.
0:54:51 > 0:54:55I'd hoped the relationship I have with my mother would get better.
0:54:55 > 0:54:59It may do, but I think it takes time.
0:54:59 > 0:55:03Maybe she needs more time.
0:55:03 > 0:55:05Maybe, in some way, I need more time.
0:55:08 > 0:55:12In the meantime, I suppose I'm happy the way I am.
0:55:12 > 0:55:16You know? Just carry on with life.
0:55:19 > 0:55:21When I look at these photos, I don't...
0:55:21 > 0:55:25I think anybody looking at these would agree
0:55:25 > 0:55:29there isn't a gay person here, not by these.
0:55:29 > 0:55:32I...
0:55:32 > 0:55:35Definitely not.
0:55:35 > 0:55:39I'm convinced more than ever, looking at these photos,
0:55:39 > 0:55:40that the stroke did turn me gay,
0:55:40 > 0:55:44because there's no way I was gay before.
0:55:44 > 0:55:48I have photos as proof and I have friends as proof.
0:55:49 > 0:55:51And now I have memories as proof.
0:55:59 > 0:56:01This is where old Chris lives now.
0:56:02 > 0:56:05I'm a totally different person than who was in here.
0:56:09 > 0:56:12I'm happier now than I ever have been.
0:56:12 > 0:56:13Why would I want to change?
0:56:47 > 0:56:50Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd