0:00:02 > 0:00:03MUSIC: "Kiss" by Prince
0:00:03 > 0:00:08This programme contains some strong language.
0:00:08 > 0:00:13I'm hardly the repressed type, but it seems to me
0:00:13 > 0:00:18that there's far too much kissing going on these days, especially in public.
0:00:18 > 0:00:23We seem to be obliged to give each other a peck on the cheek all the time.
0:00:25 > 0:00:28And the slippery, slimy, with-tongues kiss
0:00:28 > 0:00:33seems to have broken out of the back row of the cinema and invaded our streets.
0:00:37 > 0:00:39Yes, kissing may be a lovely idea,
0:00:39 > 0:00:43but I don't want particularly watch people going at it,
0:00:43 > 0:00:48all tongues blazing and eating each other's faces off.
0:00:48 > 0:00:51Mwah! I'm going to be exploring why we kiss,
0:00:51 > 0:00:55what a kiss really means, what a kiss does inside our brains...
0:00:58 > 0:00:59..and our bodies.
0:00:59 > 0:01:03It is very romantic, isn't it? Very romantic.
0:01:03 > 0:01:06And if we really are the only creatures who lock lips
0:01:06 > 0:01:09in a slippery face-off.
0:01:09 > 0:01:13- Give us a kiss, then.- Thank you.
0:01:13 > 0:01:16And, if this kissing thing turns out to be worthwhile,
0:01:16 > 0:01:20I might have to find my own dream kisser to pucker up with.
0:01:20 > 0:01:22Yeah, possibly.
0:01:25 > 0:01:27# Kiss. #
0:01:34 > 0:01:36Kiss.
0:01:37 > 0:01:39Kiss.
0:01:40 > 0:01:45Another one, my God, it seems to be going on everywhere.
0:01:45 > 0:01:50So irritating, isn't it, the way people turn their cheek towards you for a kiss?
0:01:50 > 0:01:53I mean, how bleeding presumptuous is that?
0:01:53 > 0:01:56You don't kiss anyone, they have to kiss you.
0:01:56 > 0:02:00Well, I'll give you a Barnsley kiss, if you want.
0:02:00 > 0:02:03That's a head butt for anyone from the south.
0:02:03 > 0:02:05And as for the trendy lot,
0:02:05 > 0:02:10if I see one more botoxed pair of lips aimed in my direction,
0:02:10 > 0:02:13I'll give them one in the smacker,
0:02:13 > 0:02:15and I don't mean a kiss, darling.
0:02:37 > 0:02:42And how often do people really mean a kiss? Mwah!
0:02:42 > 0:02:45Lovely to see you. Haven't cleaned my teeth this morning,
0:02:45 > 0:02:48or yesterday for that matter.
0:02:48 > 0:02:52Mwah! Lovely to meet you, I'm the new girl in the office -
0:02:52 > 0:02:56you'll be kissing my arse before too long.
0:02:56 > 0:02:59Mwah! How lovely to see you again, aren't you the couple that
0:02:59 > 0:03:05so publicly displayed your marital difficulties at the last parents' evening?
0:03:05 > 0:03:07That was buttock clenching.
0:03:10 > 0:03:14If a kiss has a value it seems to have got lost somewhere for me,
0:03:14 > 0:03:18so I'm on my way to see Paul Taylor, who's a professor of communications,
0:03:18 > 0:03:23to find out what he thinks about the kiss.
0:03:24 > 0:03:26When you have all this kissing,
0:03:26 > 0:03:30there is this pervasive cheapening of something that should be private.
0:03:30 > 0:03:33We've gone from The Brief Encounter type emotional constipation,
0:03:33 > 0:03:36- "Hello darling, would you like another cup of tea, darling?"- Yeah.
0:03:36 > 0:03:38And I think that repression,
0:03:38 > 0:03:42the upside of repression is it's all more exciting
0:03:42 > 0:03:47whereas now, you know, five Red Bulls and vodka and everyone's at it.
0:03:47 > 0:03:50To me, it's sort of the more it's done,
0:03:50 > 0:03:52the more it kind of loses its value, really.
0:03:52 > 0:03:56A kiss is a upward persuasion for the downward invasion.
0:03:56 > 0:03:57Crikey.
0:03:57 > 0:04:00And I do think this is why kissing is interesting because,
0:04:00 > 0:04:03on the one hand it can be incredibly innocent -
0:04:03 > 0:04:06you can kiss a child good night -
0:04:06 > 0:04:10and it also, obviously, can be a prelude for further relations.
0:04:10 > 0:04:15So do you think, to some extent, that kissing has lost its meaning then?
0:04:15 > 0:04:21If you think the Bible is book ended, at the beginning God breathes life into Adam
0:04:21 > 0:04:25and at the very end you have the kiss of betrayal, Judas and Jesus.
0:04:25 > 0:04:29So there's that level of cultural significance
0:04:29 > 0:04:33and then there's the banality of XXX after an e-mail or a text message.
0:04:33 > 0:04:38- Yes.- So it encompasses the whole range of human experience.
0:04:40 > 0:04:43Well, I think that Paul and I are broadly in agreement
0:04:43 > 0:04:47about the fact that the kiss has kind of lost its way a bit,
0:04:47 > 0:04:50but a lot of what he said to me about kissing
0:04:50 > 0:04:55was quite surprising stuff that I hadn't really thought about.
0:04:55 > 0:04:58It also makes me wonder whether, in fact,
0:04:58 > 0:05:03we humans are the only creatures that do kiss each other.
0:05:03 > 0:05:07'So I'm going to Twycross Zoo to see our closest ape relatives -
0:05:07 > 0:05:09'the bonobo monkeys.'
0:05:23 > 0:05:28'Donna Smithson is the keeper of these rather cheeky bonobos.
0:05:28 > 0:05:31'She's touchingly dedicated to her charges and seems to know them
0:05:31 > 0:05:35'probably better than her own family.'
0:05:35 > 0:05:37They've all got different personalities, so it's quite nice.
0:05:37 > 0:05:39There's Diatou with the youngster on her, there.
0:05:39 > 0:05:43- She's the oldest female we've got. - Right.
0:05:43 > 0:05:45Yes, she's a really good mum as well.
0:05:45 > 0:05:49Yes, she's very funny, they're all funny. I like them all, really.
0:05:49 > 0:05:54- Do you want to come inside and have a closer look?- Oh yes, please, love to.
0:05:54 > 0:05:58'The keepers rarely venture into the bonobos' living area
0:05:58 > 0:06:01'and I'm about to find out one of the reasons why.'
0:06:01 > 0:06:02- Got a visitor.- Hello.
0:06:02 > 0:06:06So by putting her hand through there, is she trying to get me to hold her hand?
0:06:06 > 0:06:09Yeah, and then she'll probably pull it.
0:06:09 > 0:06:13Then obviously as soon as they would hear you go, "Oh, my God."
0:06:13 > 0:06:16All of them could just pile. You get my meaning?
0:06:16 > 0:06:19- What would they do, would they bite?- They do bite, yeah.
0:06:19 > 0:06:22Would they bite my hand, or would they...?
0:06:22 > 0:06:25- I can't guarantee what they would do but...- ..give me a manicure?
0:06:25 > 0:06:29I can't say, I've never been in a position and wouldn't want anyone to be in that position.
0:06:29 > 0:06:31- Quite.- So they're just testing you.
0:06:31 > 0:06:35- Do the bonobos kiss each other? - Yes, they do,
0:06:35 > 0:06:38it's not a behaviour that they do quite a lot, but it's known.
0:06:38 > 0:06:42There is footage and pictures of bonobos kissing each other,
0:06:42 > 0:06:45French kissing in the bonobo book, it says...
0:06:45 > 0:06:48- That's quite steamy, isn't it? - Yeah, tongues and all.
0:06:48 > 0:06:53But if they do a kissing, it's like, they will just go to each other's mouth and be like,
0:06:53 > 0:06:56"Hello, are you all right?" sort of thing, and it's a gesture.
0:06:56 > 0:06:58They'll use it to calm each other down or will be saying hello.
0:06:58 > 0:07:01They can use it in any sort of context, really.
0:07:01 > 0:07:05Here's some footage of bonobos kissing.
0:07:05 > 0:07:07A young male and an adult male.
0:07:07 > 0:07:09Blimey.
0:07:09 > 0:07:10They're getting stuck in there.
0:07:10 > 0:07:13That looks like proper romantic snogging to me.
0:07:13 > 0:07:18Yeah, it isn't, they're just having a bit of fun, really.
0:07:18 > 0:07:21Oh, yes, tongues, my word.
0:07:23 > 0:07:27- Males and males do a lot of sexual things.- Do they?- Yeah.
0:07:27 > 0:07:30Anal mating, they do a lot of anal mating,
0:07:30 > 0:07:33a lot of holding each other's testicles.
0:07:33 > 0:07:34Is that just for fun?
0:07:34 > 0:07:36- Well, they just do it when they're worried...- Ahh.
0:07:36 > 0:07:39..when there's been a fight and things like that.
0:07:39 > 0:07:42It's just a reassurance thing.
0:07:42 > 0:07:44I've never thought of anal sex as reassuring!
0:07:44 > 0:07:48That's an interesting approach. That's great.
0:07:48 > 0:07:50Well. Yes, it is!
0:07:52 > 0:07:54# Listen when I tell ya You got no time for fix
0:07:54 > 0:07:58# Cos I just gotta make it Can't afford to miss
0:07:58 > 0:08:04# And there's one reason I'm tellin' you this I feels bad
0:08:04 > 0:08:07# And I'm a-lookin' for a kiss. #
0:08:09 > 0:08:12If our closest ape relatives kiss each other,
0:08:12 > 0:08:16then I suppose, kissing must come quite naturally to us... you'd have thought.
0:08:16 > 0:08:20But kissing is fraught with dangers.
0:08:20 > 0:08:24To try to avoid some of the pitfalls, I'm on my way to a workshop
0:08:24 > 0:08:28held by the psychologist from Big Brother, Judi James,
0:08:28 > 0:08:31on the etiquette of kissing for businessmen and women.
0:08:31 > 0:08:34Hi, good morning, I'm Judi James,
0:08:34 > 0:08:36I'm a body language and behavioural expert
0:08:36 > 0:08:40and I specialise in things like greeting rituals,
0:08:40 > 0:08:44how we approach people, how we build rapport with people in business.
0:08:44 > 0:08:47Straight away you can fast-track rapport, or not,
0:08:47 > 0:08:50if you do a bad greeting.
0:08:50 > 0:08:55You do intentional gestures - as you walk up to somebody you've either got your hand out or,
0:08:55 > 0:08:56if you're going to do an air kiss,
0:08:56 > 0:09:00in the UK it would generally be you would approach them slightly like that.
0:09:00 > 0:09:04Don't look as if you're going to over-hug, but very lightly put your hands up, like that.
0:09:04 > 0:09:07My hands would then go on to your shoulders very lightly,
0:09:07 > 0:09:10I would bend forward, you'd go right cheek to right cheek
0:09:10 > 0:09:14and then left cheek to left cheek, and that's it.
0:09:14 > 0:09:16We do a lot of networking in business,
0:09:16 > 0:09:20so what I'm going to ask you to do, if Jo would like to walk into the event
0:09:20 > 0:09:22and I'm going to get her to break into a group.
0:09:22 > 0:09:26Can you look as though you're milling around just at a networking event?
0:09:26 > 0:09:29I don't mind air kissing them, but I have got quite a bad cold.
0:09:29 > 0:09:31It's no problem.
0:09:31 > 0:09:35And herpes, I've also got syphilis,
0:09:35 > 0:09:37so it's probably not going to get that far.
0:09:37 > 0:09:39I'm sure they won't mind.
0:09:39 > 0:09:400K, fair enough.
0:09:40 > 0:09:46'Oh, God, now I've got to win these people over with the perfect business kiss.'
0:09:46 > 0:09:48Hi, everyone, hello.
0:09:48 > 0:09:51- Hello.- Hi.- Hi, nice to meet you all, I'm Jo.
0:09:51 > 0:09:54I've got my own business, it's worth about three quid.
0:09:54 > 0:09:56So you won't be very impressed by me,
0:09:56 > 0:09:58but I'd like to talk to you about it. Nice to meet you.
0:09:58 > 0:10:00Nice to meet you.
0:10:00 > 0:10:05Nice to meet you, too. Whoa, wrong side!
0:10:05 > 0:10:08Nice to meet you, how are you doing?
0:10:08 > 0:10:11Oh, no, we've let go hands and it all went hideously wrong.
0:10:11 > 0:10:14Nice to meet you. Hello, that's nice and quick.
0:10:14 > 0:10:19So anyway, I think my business has failed, probably,
0:10:19 > 0:10:21just from my very bad greeting.
0:10:21 > 0:10:24And you're all looking at me like I'm mad, which I am.
0:10:24 > 0:10:27- How was that, Judi?- It was terrible!
0:10:27 > 0:10:29LAUGHTER
0:10:29 > 0:10:31That's why they're all slightly shell shocked!
0:10:31 > 0:10:34Number one, you broke into the group almost physically, by force,
0:10:34 > 0:10:37you actually grabbed his elbow, which would feel quite weird
0:10:37 > 0:10:39if you didn't see somebody standing there.
0:10:39 > 0:10:42You should think yourself lucky I didn't push them out of the way and go, "Shut up."
0:10:42 > 0:10:44Which I was tempted to do.
0:10:44 > 0:10:47Then you got stuck in with the greetings.
0:10:47 > 0:10:49In fact, you were pretty good, I have to say,
0:10:49 > 0:10:51you did keep up a commentary though,
0:10:51 > 0:10:54and it was interesting that you did a slightly different greeting with each one.
0:10:54 > 0:10:56You may think people wouldn't notice, but they do
0:10:56 > 0:10:59because there's so much involved in status and everything.
0:10:59 > 0:11:03People will think, well, why was she more formal with that one that she was...
0:11:03 > 0:11:05Oh, really? You have to do exactly the same greeting with everyone?
0:11:05 > 0:11:09- Pretty much, but make it look fresh every time.- Oh, God.
0:11:09 > 0:11:11The coffee break couldn't come soon enough
0:11:11 > 0:11:16and I sneaked off for a word with Judi about how kissing etiquette has changed.
0:11:16 > 0:11:20We've become more demonstrative but, the trouble is,
0:11:20 > 0:11:22we don't then know the etiquette of doing it.
0:11:22 > 0:11:26At the same time there's this kind of pseudo-sexual element
0:11:26 > 0:11:31that, if you get it wrong, can creep in and it almost leaves a nasty taste in your mouth.
0:11:31 > 0:11:33You know, you think, "Oh, my God, their lips actually touched,
0:11:33 > 0:11:35"Oh, I've got their spit on my cheek,"
0:11:35 > 0:11:38or, "they made that horrible sexy noise when they did it."
0:11:38 > 0:11:41So it's quite dangerous, there's a lot of undercurrents.
0:11:41 > 0:11:45Hello, I'm Jo, a pleasure to meet you.
0:11:45 > 0:11:47- Nice to meet you.- That was good.
0:11:47 > 0:11:51I think Clinton used to say to his entourage,
0:11:51 > 0:11:54the more affectionate the greeting, the more I want you to get rid of that person.
0:11:54 > 0:11:58So sometimes, you get in sort of American business, a hug and a squeeze
0:11:58 > 0:12:01and you think this is great - the meeting's going to go really well,
0:12:01 > 0:12:04but what they're actually signalling is that the more intimate they are,
0:12:04 > 0:12:06the less they want to do business with you.
0:12:06 > 0:12:08So it's all a bit back-to-front.
0:12:08 > 0:12:12Because I always thought the Clinton greeting was straight down for a blow job.
0:12:12 > 0:12:15I'm wrong there, again.
0:12:15 > 0:12:19You see that's why my social etiquette is so off-kilter.
0:12:19 > 0:12:22Hello, I'm Jo, have you got any condoms?
0:12:25 > 0:12:26Sorry.
0:12:26 > 0:12:32If humankind has reached the stage of a rather meaningless kiss being a deal-breaker,
0:12:32 > 0:12:36it makes me wonder where all this kissing business began in the first place.
0:12:41 > 0:12:45The first erotic human kisses we come across
0:12:45 > 0:12:48come from 3,500-year-old Indian scrolls.
0:12:48 > 0:12:52And then they pop up a bit later in the Kama Sutra.
0:12:53 > 0:12:59Along with a lot of other hanky-panky that we couldn't possibly show on telly.
0:13:00 > 0:13:04Mmm. Well, I hope they didn't do THAT in plain sight.
0:13:04 > 0:13:09So how long has all this ghastly kissing in public been going on?
0:13:09 > 0:13:12I'm off to see historian Karen Harvey to find out.
0:13:12 > 0:13:17Karen, now I have this thing about kissing,
0:13:17 > 0:13:24social kissing, air kissing, and kind of tonguey, snoggy kissing a lot in public.
0:13:24 > 0:13:28And there seems to be more of it - has it always been like this?
0:13:28 > 0:13:31No, not at all. If you look at the historical record,
0:13:31 > 0:13:34kissing is always represented
0:13:34 > 0:13:36in this religious context,
0:13:36 > 0:13:39but in the Medieval and Renaissance periods
0:13:39 > 0:13:43people would have been most familiar with the kiss of peace.
0:13:43 > 0:13:47That's a kiss that's handed from a member of the congregation
0:13:47 > 0:13:50to the next member of the congregation.
0:13:50 > 0:13:55Sometimes physically, but more commonly via what's called a pax-board.
0:13:55 > 0:13:58So one member of the congregation would kiss the board
0:13:58 > 0:14:01and then pass it to the next member of the congregation
0:14:01 > 0:14:04and it's a bonding kiss.
0:14:04 > 0:14:07But there's another kiss, that people would have been familiar with,
0:14:07 > 0:14:09and this is the kiss of shame
0:14:09 > 0:14:12and it's a direct inversion of the kiss of peace.
0:14:12 > 0:14:16So the kiss of shame shows that you're bound to evil
0:14:16 > 0:14:17and to the devil.
0:14:17 > 0:14:23The kiss of shame is something that people thought was undertaken by witches.
0:14:23 > 0:14:26And that's placed on the devil's arse or the devil's anus.
0:14:26 > 0:14:27Crikey.
0:14:27 > 0:14:30Why kiss the devil's arse and not somewhere else on the devil,
0:14:30 > 0:14:34like his mouth, or his face?
0:14:34 > 0:14:39It's because kissing the devil's arse is foul.
0:14:39 > 0:14:42It's just polluted.
0:14:42 > 0:14:44You know, it's the dirtiest place.
0:14:44 > 0:14:46So is that where the phrase, kiss my arse came from?
0:14:46 > 0:14:48I have no idea!
0:14:49 > 0:14:53That all changes really, in the late 17th and 18th century.
0:14:53 > 0:14:57I think two really important things happen at this point.
0:14:57 > 0:15:02The first thing that happens is that people start to talk about the kiss as a greeting
0:15:02 > 0:15:06or a gesture of farewell.
0:15:06 > 0:15:09So this is all about the kiss in social situations
0:15:09 > 0:15:11and you might say that it's here,
0:15:11 > 0:15:15that's where our modern practice of air kissing
0:15:15 > 0:15:18and public kissing stems from.
0:15:18 > 0:15:20The second thing that happens,
0:15:20 > 0:15:25and I think this leaves a really important legacy for the modern world,
0:15:25 > 0:15:28is that the kiss becomes eroticised
0:15:28 > 0:15:31to a degree that it hasn't been before.
0:15:31 > 0:15:34At least in the art historical record.
0:15:34 > 0:15:38So you get lots of books and images of lovers kissing.
0:15:38 > 0:15:41# It started with a kiss... #
0:16:18 > 0:16:22So the kiss has been on a steady upward progression,
0:16:22 > 0:16:27how much worse is its unstoppable rise going to get?
0:16:29 > 0:16:31And why is touching our lips together
0:16:31 > 0:16:36such an apparently desirable thing to do in the first place?
0:16:37 > 0:16:43Well, I'm visiting cognitive behavioural therapist Dr George Fieldman to try to find out.
0:16:43 > 0:16:44In the lips,
0:16:44 > 0:16:46there are lots of muscles
0:16:46 > 0:16:48and lots of nerve endings.
0:16:48 > 0:16:51So when you touch your lips,
0:16:51 > 0:16:54it's represented in the brain quite powerfully.
0:16:54 > 0:16:57This is a map of the somatosensory cortex
0:16:57 > 0:17:03and here you can see large lips and small rest of the body.
0:17:03 > 0:17:08That means that the lips are represented very dominantly in the somatosensory cortex.
0:17:08 > 0:17:13So those areas that are big, they are much more sensitive?
0:17:13 > 0:17:16- To two-point discrimination, yes.- Right.
0:17:16 > 0:17:19- That's the theory, and I want to test that out on you.- OK.
0:17:19 > 0:17:21Do your worst.
0:17:21 > 0:17:23- 0K, I want you to shut your eyes. - Yes.
0:17:23 > 0:17:26- And tell me if it is one or two. - OK.
0:17:26 > 0:17:28'I'm hoping, dear viewer, that seeing my lips
0:17:28 > 0:17:30'being poked with a Q-tip
0:17:30 > 0:17:32'is better than seeing any more snogging.'
0:17:32 > 0:17:34Two.
0:17:35 > 0:17:38And again two.
0:17:38 > 0:17:39One.
0:17:42 > 0:17:44Two.
0:17:46 > 0:17:48One.
0:17:51 > 0:17:52Two.
0:17:52 > 0:17:55We are now going to test your arm, to see if there's any difference
0:17:55 > 0:17:58in your ability to differentiate two separate points.
0:18:01 > 0:18:04God, one.
0:18:05 > 0:18:07One.
0:18:10 > 0:18:12One!
0:18:13 > 0:18:16So on your lips, you could tell these points apart
0:18:16 > 0:18:17when they were as close as that,
0:18:17 > 0:18:19say a couple of millimetres.
0:18:19 > 0:18:23On your arm, we were that sort of distance,
0:18:23 > 0:18:26- something like six centimetres apart.- Yes.
0:18:26 > 0:18:31- You couldn't tell two from one at all clearly on your arm.- Incredible.
0:18:31 > 0:18:35A remarkable difference between those two.
0:18:35 > 0:18:38'But how did we start kissing on the lips in the first place?'
0:18:38 > 0:18:43It is unlikely, in my view, that lips evolved for kissing.
0:18:43 > 0:18:47They would have originally been used for taking in food,
0:18:47 > 0:18:52probably kiss feeding, when a mother pre-masticates food,
0:18:52 > 0:18:56chews it up and then puts it into the infant's mouth, and for speaking.
0:18:56 > 0:18:59All those things would be directly linked with survival.
0:18:59 > 0:19:05Originally, are we saying, that lips weren't really kind of meant for kissing?
0:19:05 > 0:19:08Probably lips adapted for kissing
0:19:08 > 0:19:12because there's my lots of sensation there
0:19:12 > 0:19:17and when two lips kiss, it's usually a preamble to sex.
0:19:19 > 0:19:21So the lips became our kissing gear
0:19:21 > 0:19:23and all those nerve endings in them, getting stimulated,
0:19:23 > 0:19:29makes for a blinking messy orgy of exploding synapses and gushing hormones.
0:19:29 > 0:19:32The level of the hormone oxytocin increases,
0:19:32 > 0:19:35encouraging feelings of affection and attachment.
0:19:35 > 0:19:40The level of the stress hormone cortisol decreases, making you more relaxed.
0:19:40 > 0:19:43I see where this is going now. Oh, find a room!
0:19:43 > 0:19:46Kissing also releases serotonin,
0:19:46 > 0:19:51so much so that you can feel euphoric for up to two hours afterwards.
0:19:51 > 0:19:55I've never been euphoric for two minutes, let alone two hours.
0:19:57 > 0:20:02Basically, kissing makes for a brain chemical concoction designed to get our genes excited
0:20:02 > 0:20:04that there's a bit of wahey on the way.
0:20:04 > 0:20:060K, stop right there.
0:20:07 > 0:20:11I really don't like to see this overactive snogging in public,
0:20:11 > 0:20:13so I'm heading indoors.
0:20:17 > 0:20:20I'm hoping to discover some downsides to kissing.
0:20:20 > 0:20:25Maybe it's not good for you! Perhaps we can get it banned...
0:20:28 > 0:20:30It just gets worse.
0:20:30 > 0:20:34Apparently kissing lowers your blood pressure and cholesterol.
0:20:35 > 0:20:40Burns off more calories than going for a swim.
0:20:40 > 0:20:41Oh, bugger.
0:20:41 > 0:20:43Fights tooth decay as well.
0:20:46 > 0:20:48Apparently 10% of the world don't kiss,
0:20:48 > 0:20:51or else they're discreet enough not to do it in front of the people
0:20:51 > 0:20:53that research this sort of thing.
0:20:53 > 0:20:56Surely there must be SOME people who don't kiss?
0:20:59 > 0:21:03Well, I've always understood that sex workers don't kiss,
0:21:03 > 0:21:05so I've asked sex work researcher and activist Jo Doezema
0:21:05 > 0:21:10to meet me for a nice cup of tea, to ask her if it's true.
0:21:10 > 0:21:13- Hello, Jo.- Hello, Jo.- I'm Jo. Nice to see you.
0:21:13 > 0:21:14I'm Jo, nice to see too.
0:21:14 > 0:21:17Now, Jo, I don't really know why I think this,
0:21:17 > 0:21:21but I must have discussed it with people over the years,
0:21:21 > 0:21:25but I believe it to be true that sex workers, on the whole,
0:21:25 > 0:21:29don't tend to want to kiss their clients,
0:21:29 > 0:21:34because it's something that's far too intimate for them to do
0:21:34 > 0:21:38because it's just, if you like, a financial transaction between them.
0:21:38 > 0:21:40Am I right there?
0:21:40 > 0:21:44It's interesting. You're not completely wrong. You're a bit right.
0:21:44 > 0:21:47On the one hand, there are those sex workers that feel it's too intimate,
0:21:47 > 0:21:49but there's actually
0:21:49 > 0:21:51a whole swathe of other sex workers,
0:21:51 > 0:21:55and I would say more, who do provide kissing
0:21:55 > 0:22:01- and who have marketed it very skilfully as the girlfriend experience.- Oh, really?
0:22:01 > 0:22:04And the girlfriend experience is just like what it says,
0:22:04 > 0:22:07it involves kissing, touching, it involves intimacy,
0:22:07 > 0:22:10and it's incredibly popular.
0:22:10 > 0:22:13I've found that, actually, among the sex workers I've spoken to,
0:22:13 > 0:22:19the demand for kissing is huge - much more, actually, than for any other service.
0:22:19 > 0:22:22It's the first question that they get asked, "do you kiss?"
0:22:22 > 0:22:25- I'm really surprised about that. - I know, I know - isn't that strange?
0:22:25 > 0:22:28So, in many ways, men are actually romantics, really,
0:22:28 > 0:22:32and they're looking for the whole package of a romantic experience
0:22:32 > 0:22:35rather than just a quick chug, as it were?
0:22:35 > 0:22:39What's maybe even more interesting, certainly surprising to me
0:22:39 > 0:22:44was it's not just clients who are interested in the intimacy of a kiss.
0:22:44 > 0:22:46This one sex worker that I spoke to
0:22:46 > 0:22:50explained how if she was having sex with a man, a client,
0:22:50 > 0:22:55and he didn't kiss her, how it made her feel dirty and bad
0:22:55 > 0:22:59and as if he didn't consider her good enough to be kissed.
0:22:59 > 0:23:02That's really interesting though, isn't it?
0:23:02 > 0:23:07That's the sort of traditional view that a lot of people in society hold of sex workers,
0:23:07 > 0:23:12- that they shouldn't expect any more than money out of it.- Yes, exactly.
0:23:12 > 0:23:16Sex workers I've talked to mention the fact when you're kissing someone,
0:23:16 > 0:23:18you're there and they're there and the connection is there.
0:23:18 > 0:23:21We know how easy it is to drift away when you're having sex.
0:23:21 > 0:23:24You can just, there you go, proverbial laundry list.
0:23:24 > 0:23:26- Shopping list, yes.- Exactly.
0:23:26 > 0:23:28Because you're sort of right there,
0:23:28 > 0:23:30you can't kind of watch telly over their shoulder.
0:23:30 > 0:23:31No, you can't!
0:23:31 > 0:23:35When you're kissing someone, it's much more difficult.
0:23:35 > 0:23:38You're there, you're aware, you have a real connection with somebody.
0:23:38 > 0:23:42So how much, if you paying say 50 quid for half an hour,
0:23:42 > 0:23:45how much extra would kissing cost?
0:23:45 > 0:23:47Probably 20 or 30.
0:23:47 > 0:23:51And how much would it cost to have someone to say, "your hair looks really nice?"
0:23:51 > 0:23:53Priceless.
0:23:56 > 0:24:01Well, can I just say, you've opened up a whole new world for me in terms of,
0:24:01 > 0:24:04you've sort of slashed my preconceptions to bits
0:24:04 > 0:24:06and that's great, you know,
0:24:06 > 0:24:10and made me feel kind of hopeful about it, in a way,
0:24:10 > 0:24:14and also quite made me want to do it,
0:24:14 > 0:24:17and also made me want to give you a kiss!
0:24:17 > 0:24:19So, thank you very much.
0:24:19 > 0:24:22- Oh, lovely.- Cheers.
0:24:23 > 0:24:27'So if the kiss can be worth money...'
0:24:27 > 0:24:31I'm sure absolutely no kissing goes on in there, apart from on the balcony
0:24:31 > 0:24:34when there's a royal wedding.
0:24:34 > 0:24:37'..what other power does it have?'
0:24:37 > 0:24:41When I think back to the '80s, when I really came of age politically,
0:24:41 > 0:24:47it makes me think there's one person I really do need to go and talk to about this.
0:24:53 > 0:24:58Human rights campaigner Peter Tatchell is someone I've always admired,
0:24:58 > 0:25:02chiefly because he's never been prepared to just accept the world as it is
0:25:02 > 0:25:06and, amazingly enough, he's campaigned in the past about public kissing.
0:25:11 > 0:25:13People have said things to me like,
0:25:13 > 0:25:17how kind of significant and beautiful the kiss is, but,
0:25:17 > 0:25:20particularly from your point of view,
0:25:20 > 0:25:23I mean it's a very powerful symbol in a way,
0:25:23 > 0:25:27isn't it and has huge political significance?
0:25:27 > 0:25:29Can you tell me something about that?
0:25:29 > 0:25:35Historically, for gay and lesbian couples, the right to kiss in public
0:25:35 > 0:25:38has been a very important historic battle.
0:25:38 > 0:25:42Until 1990, same-sex couples in London,
0:25:42 > 0:25:44never mind the rest of the country,
0:25:44 > 0:25:48were being arrested for kissing and cuddling in public
0:25:48 > 0:25:51when comparable behaviour by heterosexual couples
0:25:51 > 0:25:55merited no attention by the police whatsoever.
0:25:55 > 0:25:57So was there kind of a formal law
0:25:57 > 0:26:00forbidding gay couples from kissing in public?
0:26:00 > 0:26:04It was never an explicit, specific crime,
0:26:04 > 0:26:09but what the police did was arrest lesbian and gay couples for kissing
0:26:09 > 0:26:14using other legislation such as outraging public decency,
0:26:14 > 0:26:19behaviour likely to cause a breach of the peace and, using the Public Order Act provisions,
0:26:19 > 0:26:23behaviour likely to cause harassment, alarm or distress.
0:26:23 > 0:26:29Since the police made kissing in public a political and criminal issue,
0:26:29 > 0:26:33we decided to take them on.
0:26:33 > 0:26:36That's why in September of 1990, the gay rights group Outrage,
0:26:36 > 0:26:42which I was involved with, staged a mass kiss-in in Piccadilly Circus.
0:26:42 > 0:26:45We got 300 couples to turn up
0:26:45 > 0:26:51and issued the ultimatum to the police, "If you think this law is worth defending,
0:26:51 > 0:26:52"come and arrest us.
0:26:52 > 0:26:58"Otherwise, give us notice that from now on the law will not be enforced against us."
0:26:58 > 0:27:02I'm really proud to say that, one hour before the protest began,
0:27:02 > 0:27:06the Metropolitan Police sent us a note saying, "0K, you've won.
0:27:06 > 0:27:10"From this moment onwards, in the Metropolitan Police area,
0:27:10 > 0:27:14"no same-sex couple will be arrested for merely kissing and showing affection."
0:27:14 > 0:27:16What a fantastic coup.
0:27:16 > 0:27:20The kiss-in became a celebration of a victory,
0:27:20 > 0:27:21rather than a protest.
0:27:21 > 0:27:26- Here's a couple of photographs from one of the kiss-ins.- Oh, right.
0:27:26 > 0:27:31There's two guys going at it. Is that offensive to you?
0:27:31 > 0:27:35No, they don't look like they're what I call going at it,
0:27:35 > 0:27:37they just look like they're having a nice kiss.
0:27:37 > 0:27:42- OK. Here afterwards in the park, when people were celebrating. - Oh, right.
0:27:42 > 0:27:45Another couple, quite clearly celebrating with a beer.
0:27:45 > 0:27:47Yes, indeed, fair enough.
0:27:47 > 0:27:50They're great, no, I don't have an issue with those at all.
0:27:50 > 0:27:52Good.
0:27:52 > 0:27:54Fantastic, so we're getting there.
0:27:54 > 0:27:56A bit more therapy and you...!
0:27:56 > 0:27:58I know, I know.
0:27:59 > 0:28:03So I'm off for some more slimy snog analysis then.
0:28:03 > 0:28:08If the kiss has power, does it actually have beauty too?
0:28:08 > 0:28:11Well, I'm going to look at some kissing art,
0:28:11 > 0:28:15at the Wellcome Collection, but I'm not sure I'll like it.
0:28:17 > 0:28:21These sculptures are casts of the insides of people's mouths
0:28:21 > 0:28:24while they are locked in a passionate tongues-in job.
0:28:24 > 0:28:27I must say, they seem pretty grotesque to me.
0:28:27 > 0:28:30All teeth, gums and wiggly bits.
0:28:30 > 0:28:32# If you hear
0:28:32 > 0:28:37# A song in blue
0:28:37 > 0:28:42# Like a flower crying for the dew
0:28:45 > 0:28:48# That was my heart
0:28:48 > 0:28:53# Serenading you
0:28:54 > 0:28:57# My prelude to a kiss. #
0:28:59 > 0:29:04For me, in a lot of ways, they don't really bear any relation to the human mouth
0:29:04 > 0:29:07because they just don't look like it.
0:29:07 > 0:29:10For example, that one there looks like a horse
0:29:10 > 0:29:13that's had its jaw broken. 'Mmm.
0:29:13 > 0:29:17'To find out more, I've arranged to meet the artist, Charlie Murphy.'
0:29:17 > 0:29:20- Hello, Charlie.- Hi. - Nice to meet you.
0:29:20 > 0:29:23So you're responsible for these glorious creations?
0:29:23 > 0:29:25I am, yes.
0:29:25 > 0:29:27I started it with my own kisses.
0:29:27 > 0:29:29That was kind of, er,
0:29:29 > 0:29:33my early experiments where I was trying to kind of visualise
0:29:33 > 0:29:35what it was like to see what a kiss looked like.
0:29:35 > 0:29:39I experimented with kissing different people.
0:29:39 > 0:29:41Did you indeed?
0:29:41 > 0:29:43I did and I got into a bit of trouble!
0:29:43 > 0:29:47Then I thought, OK, it's much more acceptable to kind of open it out
0:29:47 > 0:29:51and see if people would donate their cast to my collection.
0:29:51 > 0:29:55I've got a couple here that you can see a bit more closely.
0:29:55 > 0:30:00This is an example, I'll just hand it to you...
0:30:00 > 0:30:03You're looking from the back of the mouth
0:30:03 > 0:30:06- through the other person's mouth. - You can see teeth, can't you?
0:30:06 > 0:30:11You can, you can see the back of the upper and the lower palate
0:30:11 > 0:30:13and, actually, if you look further through,
0:30:13 > 0:30:17you can see somebody's tongue coming towards you.
0:30:17 > 0:30:20Yeah, why the particular moment of the kiss, then?
0:30:20 > 0:30:22Why do you think that's important?
0:30:22 > 0:30:24Well, I think it's a really precious moment
0:30:24 > 0:30:29and it's something I wanted to kind of visualise
0:30:29 > 0:30:33what these expressions of desire look like from the inside.
0:30:33 > 0:30:35My husband says I've got a massive gob,
0:30:35 > 0:30:38so I reckon mine would look like the batcave.
0:30:39 > 0:30:43Charlie had some couples arriving to make some more of these snog sculptures
0:30:43 > 0:30:45and she wants me to lend a hand.
0:30:48 > 0:30:53OK. 'The initial kiss imprint is made with dental putty.'
0:30:53 > 0:30:55- In there?- Yes, please.
0:30:55 > 0:30:58- All in one go?- All in one go. Lovely.
0:30:58 > 0:31:01- Who's going to go first? - It looks quite nice, doesn't it?
0:31:01 > 0:31:04A sort of blancmangey kind of pink, isn't it?
0:31:04 > 0:31:06Now, unless you've just switched on the telly,
0:31:06 > 0:31:09you'll know I don't like seeing kissing in public very much
0:31:09 > 0:31:14but I'll make an exception if I get to stuff something in their mouths first.
0:31:14 > 0:31:16Take as much as you feel...
0:31:17 > 0:31:19A bit more?
0:31:19 > 0:31:20That's enough?
0:31:20 > 0:31:24Take as much as you... Oh, my word. Well done.
0:31:24 > 0:31:27# Kiss me honey, honey, kiss me
0:31:27 > 0:31:32# Thrill me, honey, honey, thrill me
0:31:32 > 0:31:36# I don't care even if I blow my top, but honey, honey... #
0:31:36 > 0:31:37Is that OK?
0:31:37 > 0:31:39Happy?
0:31:39 > 0:31:42# I'd like to play a little game with you
0:31:42 > 0:31:46# A little game especially made for two... #
0:31:46 > 0:31:49This is very romantic, isn't it?
0:31:49 > 0:31:50Very romantic.
0:31:50 > 0:31:52# Closer, closer now
0:31:54 > 0:31:57# Kiss me honey, honey, kiss me
0:31:57 > 0:32:01# Thrill me honey, honey, thrill me
0:32:01 > 0:32:04# Don't care even if I blow my top... #
0:32:04 > 0:32:08With my husband, that would be long enough now!
0:32:08 > 0:32:10Hold still, now.
0:32:10 > 0:32:13And we've got 90 seconds for you to do that,
0:32:13 > 0:32:15it will seem like two hours.
0:32:17 > 0:32:20# Just settle down and let me teach you how
0:32:20 > 0:32:23# Closer, closer now... #
0:32:23 > 0:32:25Keep going... Everybody all right
0:32:25 > 0:32:28and feeling comfortable enough?
0:32:28 > 0:32:31Yeah, thank you.
0:32:31 > 0:32:34So you've just got 30 seconds to go...
0:32:35 > 0:32:39..and you should feel it hardening up in your mouth, Matron.
0:32:43 > 0:32:47So if you could sort of unlock your jaws, when you are ready,
0:32:47 > 0:32:49and push it forward with your...
0:32:49 > 0:32:53Fantastic, wahey, look at that.
0:32:53 > 0:32:55Oh, isn't that lovely.
0:32:56 > 0:32:58Oh, my word.
0:32:58 > 0:33:00Brilliant. Well done.
0:33:02 > 0:33:04Fantastic. Well done.
0:33:04 > 0:33:08# Honey, honey, don't stop. #
0:33:09 > 0:33:12Did I just see a kiss and think it was romantic?
0:33:12 > 0:33:15No! Yes, it looked lovely.
0:33:15 > 0:33:20But that's because they weren't eating each other's face off
0:33:20 > 0:33:23and chewing each other's ears and tonguing all around the eyebrows.
0:33:23 > 0:33:26That's the sort of kissing I don't like in public.
0:33:27 > 0:33:29Yeah, let's tour.
0:33:29 > 0:33:33Actually, I could do a bit of stand-up then you could get some snoggers.
0:33:35 > 0:33:39- No, that was great, really good fun. - Thank you.- But still disgusting.
0:33:39 > 0:33:43These casts might look like half chewed blancmanges but, somehow,
0:33:43 > 0:33:48they make me want to go back and look at the finished sculptures again.
0:33:48 > 0:33:51You know there's something rather touching about those couples
0:33:51 > 0:33:54wanting to preserve their kissing moment.
0:33:54 > 0:33:59They're very different to the schmaltzy representations of the kiss you usually see.
0:33:59 > 0:34:04This actually is a kiss, in all its horror...and beauty.
0:34:04 > 0:34:07# A prelude to
0:34:07 > 0:34:14# A kiss. #
0:34:16 > 0:34:20I'm beginning to think that, just maybe, there is something more
0:34:20 > 0:34:22to all this kissing business than I'd thought.
0:34:22 > 0:34:27I'm going to meet Adrianne Blue, who has written a whole book on kissing.
0:34:27 > 0:34:31Will she be able to persuade me out of my kiss irritation?
0:34:31 > 0:34:33Adrianne, right,
0:34:33 > 0:34:40I want to talk to you particularly because I'm a big anti-kissing-in-public person.
0:34:40 > 0:34:46- Snogging, like mega kind of snogging.- Yes.
0:34:46 > 0:34:50I don't particularly want to watch that in public
0:34:50 > 0:34:55and I don't think there's a problem with going round the corner or going in a bit of darkness.
0:34:55 > 0:34:58Look at the trees and the bridge instead of the young people.
0:34:58 > 0:35:01You know. I don't think it IS a problem.
0:35:01 > 0:35:02I don't want to look at the trees.
0:35:02 > 0:35:05All right, heavy kissing in public I don't want to go on record
0:35:05 > 0:35:07as the greatest advocate of it, I'm not,
0:35:07 > 0:35:10but I do understand that people don't have a place to go,
0:35:10 > 0:35:14or sometimes they're so in love, they can't keep their hands off each other, all right?
0:35:14 > 0:35:17I'm willing to accept that, it doesn't bother me,
0:35:17 > 0:35:21I look at the scenery if I don't want to look at them and I think you could too!
0:35:21 > 0:35:24The actual kiss, the playing of tongues, the playing of lips,
0:35:24 > 0:35:27the 34 muscles of the face moving in unison,
0:35:27 > 0:35:31the bodies leaning together, and all of that, that's the dance.
0:35:31 > 0:35:35- I must say you are making it sound rather attractive.- Ah.
0:35:35 > 0:35:39You have this mutual thing, both bodies doing the same things.
0:35:39 > 0:35:43The lips of men are very similar to the lips of women, the mouths,
0:35:43 > 0:35:45those things are androgynous.
0:35:45 > 0:35:50So here's the only sexual act in which people are doing exactly the same thing.
0:35:50 > 0:35:55That's magnificent. Now, what I don't understand is why it upsets you so much.
0:35:55 > 0:35:58Is there something in your personal history,
0:35:58 > 0:36:00is there some reason that this galls you?
0:36:00 > 0:36:03'Oh, gawd, what am I supposed to say now?
0:36:05 > 0:36:06'Gather, gather.'
0:36:08 > 0:36:14Erm, there's no kind of very specific thing in my personal or history.
0:36:16 > 0:36:18No, no - there's nothing.
0:36:18 > 0:36:21I mean, since I've been doing the job that I do,
0:36:21 > 0:36:24I have had drunk people kiss me, quite forcefully,
0:36:24 > 0:36:28when I didn't want to kiss them.
0:36:28 > 0:36:31Not with tongues, normally, but that has happened on a couple of occasions
0:36:31 > 0:36:35and it's been very unpleasant because
0:36:35 > 0:36:38I find it an infringement of my personal space.
0:36:38 > 0:36:43If they're coming towards me, like a steam train, there's not a lot I can do about it.
0:36:43 > 0:36:46I think the worst sort of kiss is a stolen kiss because the very nature,
0:36:46 > 0:36:49the essence of kissing is this reciprocity, this mutuality.
0:36:49 > 0:36:51Doing a dance together.
0:36:51 > 0:36:54So if some bloke snogs you when you don't want them to,
0:36:54 > 0:36:59as you've mentioned, that isn't really a kiss, that's aggression.
0:36:59 > 0:37:04I really can't believe that you are against real kisses,
0:37:04 > 0:37:07because kisses are delightful.
0:37:07 > 0:37:10I'm the last person to tell people how to think or what to do,
0:37:10 > 0:37:13everybody has to make their own relationship with kissing
0:37:13 > 0:37:17and you're going to have to sort out yours, whenever you're ready to.
0:37:20 > 0:37:24"Whenever I'm ready."
0:37:24 > 0:37:28"Make my own relationship with the kiss."
0:37:28 > 0:37:33What does Adrianne expect me to do, slurp the first bloke who walks past?
0:37:34 > 0:37:37But maybe there was something in what she said.
0:37:37 > 0:37:43Perhaps I have been unable to see the beauty in a kiss.
0:37:43 > 0:37:46I wonder how my relationship with the kiss ended up here?
0:37:48 > 0:37:52Perhaps I'll have to trace it right back to the beginning.
0:37:52 > 0:37:54There's nothing else for it,
0:37:54 > 0:37:58I'll have to go and see my mum and a load of babies.
0:37:58 > 0:38:01# With my little legs I kick high high high
0:38:01 > 0:38:05# With my little eyes I say peek-a-boo
0:38:05 > 0:38:10# With my little lips I say, "I love you". #
0:38:10 > 0:38:13Is this where all kissing begins, with mother and child?
0:38:13 > 0:38:16I'm wondering how important these early kisses are
0:38:16 > 0:38:19to how we feel about the kiss as adults?
0:38:19 > 0:38:21A good thing I brought my mum then,
0:38:21 > 0:38:22as well as being my mum,
0:38:22 > 0:38:26she was a social worker in child protection for 30 years.
0:38:26 > 0:38:30# And I like to fall in a heap - wheee! #
0:38:30 > 0:38:34I think one of the lovely things about kissing babies,
0:38:34 > 0:38:39and very small children, is the whole sense of how wonderful they are.
0:38:39 > 0:38:40Their skin feels lovely.
0:38:40 > 0:38:43Their skin is beautiful, the top of their head is lovely.
0:38:43 > 0:38:45- They smell nice, as well. - They smell very nice.
0:38:45 > 0:38:47- On the whole.- Yes.- Yes.
0:38:47 > 0:38:51It would be an experience which was mutually pleasurable, wouldn't it?
0:38:51 > 0:38:53Absolutely.
0:38:53 > 0:38:56Like not kissing your baby also means something really sad,
0:38:56 > 0:38:58that you are not...
0:38:58 > 0:38:59You're not really connected.
0:38:59 > 0:39:01..not really connected.
0:39:01 > 0:39:03I think that happens quite a lot,
0:39:03 > 0:39:08either with mothers that are depressed or have been abused themselves,
0:39:08 > 0:39:10or deprived in some way.
0:39:10 > 0:39:12Did you kiss me a lot?
0:39:12 > 0:39:14No, I wouldn't suggest I did.
0:39:14 > 0:39:16A little, or a medium amount?
0:39:16 > 0:39:19I'll tell you when I always kissed all of you,
0:39:19 > 0:39:21is when you'd been hurt.
0:39:21 > 0:39:24- Oh, right.- If you were hurt and you cried.
0:39:24 > 0:39:28It seems to me that kissing you
0:39:28 > 0:39:32offered a very special statement about, "it'll be OK".
0:39:32 > 0:39:35Which would have been devalued if you did it all the time.
0:39:35 > 0:39:39She never kissed me. You never kissed me, did you?
0:39:39 > 0:39:40Look what I turned into!
0:39:40 > 0:39:44No, I don't want to give that impression.
0:39:52 > 0:39:57But then, of course, we all grow up to have our first kisses, away from the family.
0:39:58 > 0:40:00Where was your first kiss in public?
0:40:00 > 0:40:03My first kiss, when I was like, six years old, was in school.
0:40:03 > 0:40:06- I kissed this girl, Christina. - Was she lovely?
0:40:06 > 0:40:08She was a very beautiful girl.
0:40:08 > 0:40:11Didn't know what I was doing, but then she showed me how to do it
0:40:11 > 0:40:13and then after then...
0:40:13 > 0:40:15- At six?- Yeah.- That's outrageous!
0:40:16 > 0:40:19Can you remember your first kiss?
0:40:19 > 0:40:23It was in the stock cupboard of my old school.
0:40:23 > 0:40:28It was a few years ago. No, I can't remember. It was some time ago.
0:40:28 > 0:40:31This guy called Alan, who was really ugly,
0:40:31 > 0:40:34and had a nose out there that kept getting in the way.
0:40:34 > 0:40:37- It was just at the Odeon cinema down the street.- Oh, really?- Yeah.
0:40:37 > 0:40:39- And how did it go? - It was...
0:40:39 > 0:40:45I was a bit inexperienced, I actually forgot to come up for air.
0:40:45 > 0:40:50It was in your Metro, outside your house, half two in the morning.
0:40:50 > 0:40:53That sounds lovely, was it nice? Well, it obviously was nice enough... Yes.
0:40:53 > 0:40:56It's ten years ago, so...
0:40:56 > 0:40:57- Been married eight years.- Ahh.
0:40:57 > 0:41:00- And you still do kissing?- Yeah.
0:41:00 > 0:41:03- Yes. Oh, look...- I went in then.
0:41:03 > 0:41:06- Sorry!- I know, ah. Was it nice, or was it a disappointment?
0:41:06 > 0:41:09Oh, yes, it always is nice.
0:41:09 > 0:41:11Well, I think so. I can't remember one that hasn't been nice.
0:41:11 > 0:41:14That's a good average, isn't it?
0:41:14 > 0:41:16Can we ask you about your first kiss?
0:41:16 > 0:41:19- Yes, it was absolutely horrible. - Oh, dear.
0:41:19 > 0:41:23It was like being kissed by a big slimy, slug.
0:41:23 > 0:41:26That first of many disastrous kisses,
0:41:26 > 0:41:31and if I'm honest, a few good ones was when I was a teenager.
0:41:31 > 0:41:35I wanted to ask my mum how she'd felt about that milestone.
0:41:35 > 0:41:41My first kiss, which was absolutely revolting in every possible imaginable way,
0:41:41 > 0:41:44I never told you about that,
0:41:44 > 0:41:47- but you didn't want to hear about it, did you?- No, you see,
0:41:47 > 0:41:53I know there's this theme of mothers and daughters being good friends and the daughter...
0:41:53 > 0:41:56You're not keen on that though, are you?
0:41:56 > 0:42:00I'm not keen on that either, and I'm certainly...
0:42:00 > 0:42:02Me neither. So that's really handy.
0:42:02 > 0:42:04I mean, I think, you know,
0:42:04 > 0:42:08you wouldn't be the first person I would naturally come galloping to and go,
0:42:08 > 0:42:11- hey, guess what.- No.- First kiss.
0:42:11 > 0:42:15I wouldn't have known about your first kiss, that's for sure.
0:42:15 > 0:42:18- Absolutely.- Just as well.
0:42:18 > 0:42:20So, who was it then, Jo?
0:42:20 > 0:42:25I can't even remember his name, but he was spotty and not very good at it.
0:42:25 > 0:42:29I mean, I certainly wouldn't have wanted to discuss it with you, really.
0:42:29 > 0:42:31I would have been embarrassed by it
0:42:31 > 0:42:36because all those manifestations, of the personal and private,
0:42:36 > 0:42:38I find embarrassing.
0:42:38 > 0:42:42I don't... I'm not happy observing
0:42:42 > 0:42:48a couple absolutely eating one another up somewhere in a public place.
0:42:49 > 0:42:53So is THAT where I got my public kissing phobia from?
0:42:53 > 0:42:56My mum! That could explain a lot.
0:42:56 > 0:42:58# I kissed a girl
0:42:58 > 0:43:00# I liked it
0:43:00 > 0:43:03# The taste of her cherry Chapstick
0:43:03 > 0:43:07# I kissed a girl just to try it
0:43:07 > 0:43:11# Hope my girlfriend don't mind it. #
0:43:12 > 0:43:15What's it like for today's teenagers graduating to their first kisses
0:43:15 > 0:43:20while there's so much garish snogging going on already?
0:43:20 > 0:43:23What might this next generation of kissers be like?
0:43:23 > 0:43:26I'm going to find out.
0:43:26 > 0:43:29Hi, do you want to be on our team?
0:43:29 > 0:43:32- I'd love to, thank you very much. - You can go first.
0:43:32 > 0:43:33Oh, thanks,
0:43:33 > 0:43:35Can I just say I'm not an asset.
0:43:35 > 0:43:38Any old one I want? That'll do, then.
0:43:44 > 0:43:47ALL CHEER
0:43:54 > 0:43:57Now, I've gathered you all together today
0:43:57 > 0:44:01because I want to find out what you lot, at your lovely tender,
0:44:01 > 0:44:03but I'm not envious at all,
0:44:03 > 0:44:07age, which is of the teenage persuasion.
0:44:07 > 0:44:09What you all think about kissing?
0:44:09 > 0:44:12Can you remember your first kiss?
0:44:12 > 0:44:13Mmm.
0:44:13 > 0:44:17He said, "Can I kiss you?" and I said, "OK".
0:44:17 > 0:44:20So he kissed me on the forehead, for some reason.
0:44:20 > 0:44:24- Ahh.- And it was really embarrassing.
0:44:24 > 0:44:28He just grabbed my face and shoved his tongue down my throat.
0:44:28 > 0:44:31I was a bit like... Calm down!
0:44:31 > 0:44:35Remembering back to when I was a teenager in 1841, erm...
0:44:37 > 0:44:40I think the problem is that when you're your age,
0:44:40 > 0:44:44you really worry that your experience is going to be different from everyone else's,
0:44:44 > 0:44:46or you're going to do it wrong.
0:44:46 > 0:44:48Before the first time you have a kiss,
0:44:48 > 0:44:50you think there's a way you have to do it.
0:44:50 > 0:44:52You practise it on your hand.
0:44:52 > 0:44:54Yeah, and you get really scared,
0:44:54 > 0:44:56but then once you've done it the first time, it's just after that,
0:44:56 > 0:44:59it's like, "oh, that was it, what was I worried about?"
0:44:59 > 0:45:04Let's talk about bad kisses. All right, let's talk about the worst kiss I've ever had.
0:45:04 > 0:45:09If you make a weird noise, like, "slurp",
0:45:09 > 0:45:13or a weird noise, like a licking noise, or...
0:45:13 > 0:45:14It's a bit disgusting, but...
0:45:14 > 0:45:16Oh, let's hear it then!
0:45:16 > 0:45:18I just vomited.
0:45:18 > 0:45:20Oh, that's what I was going to say!
0:45:20 > 0:45:22While you were kissing someone?
0:45:22 > 0:45:23No, no, no, just before.
0:45:23 > 0:45:24Oh, just before.
0:45:24 > 0:45:28And obviously then, we got into it, and I felt a bit come up.
0:45:28 > 0:45:29Oh, no!
0:45:29 > 0:45:32Where you really embarrassed?
0:45:32 > 0:45:33Oh, no...
0:45:33 > 0:45:36You weren't embarrassed. I love men, don't you?
0:45:43 > 0:45:47Who would you most like to kiss in the world, if you could kiss anyone?
0:45:47 > 0:45:50- Cheryl Cole.- Justin Bieber. - Aaron Johnson.
0:45:50 > 0:45:52- Cheryl Cole. - I say Aaron Johnson.
0:45:52 > 0:45:54Oh, no, wait, Angelina Jolie.
0:45:54 > 0:45:55Angelina Jolie is...
0:45:55 > 0:45:57Scarlet Johannson.
0:45:57 > 0:45:58- Both of you?- BOTH: Yes.
0:45:58 > 0:46:01Mark Wright from The Only Way Is Essex.
0:46:01 > 0:46:02Harry Styles.
0:46:02 > 0:46:04Oh, yeah! Just the whole of One Direction.
0:46:04 > 0:46:07- He has really nice trousers. - He has nice trousers?!
0:46:07 > 0:46:11Jo, you haven't said who you would like to kiss most of all?
0:46:11 > 0:46:13- Do I have to?- ALL: Yes.
0:46:13 > 0:46:16Prince Edward... No!
0:46:16 > 0:46:18Who, male or female?
0:46:18 > 0:46:20No, I'm not going to say.
0:46:20 > 0:46:23You've got to say, we said it.
0:46:23 > 0:46:24Don't worry, we won't laugh.
0:46:24 > 0:46:26You will laugh.
0:46:26 > 0:46:29- Are they really young or really old? - No, I can't say anyone, no, no.
0:46:29 > 0:46:31You have to! Tell us!
0:46:31 > 0:46:34Well, those teenagers seemed fairly confident
0:46:34 > 0:46:38in navigating their way through the minefield of kissing.
0:46:38 > 0:46:40More than I was as a girl.
0:46:43 > 0:46:46But that has set me thinking, who is the person
0:46:46 > 0:46:49that I genuinely do want kiss?
0:46:49 > 0:46:52Well, there's only one place to start.
0:46:57 > 0:46:58Yeah, possibly.
0:46:58 > 0:47:00No, maybe not.
0:47:02 > 0:47:05Too much hair in the nasal area.
0:47:07 > 0:47:08Done him.
0:47:08 > 0:47:10And him.
0:47:12 > 0:47:14Everyone's done him.
0:47:16 > 0:47:19Oh, where's Clarkson when you need him?
0:47:19 > 0:47:21No, he's only about five.
0:47:27 > 0:47:30Hmm, I reckon he'll do, yep.
0:47:30 > 0:47:33Let's see what HE'S up to.
0:47:33 > 0:47:40Maybe I can engineer a chance encounter with my "mystery man".
0:47:41 > 0:47:46'Ah, you want to know who it is, don't you?' Oi, keep off!
0:47:46 > 0:47:49My image would never recover, thank you!
0:47:49 > 0:47:53Before I can get close enough to pucker up to my mystery man,
0:47:53 > 0:47:56I better brush up on my kissing technique.
0:48:00 > 0:48:03Right, well, I'm on my way to a screen kissing lesson
0:48:03 > 0:48:05at an acting workshop.
0:48:05 > 0:48:08Thing about kissing in the films is it's always the first kiss.
0:48:08 > 0:48:11I mean, what's wrong with that kiss eight years in,
0:48:11 > 0:48:13where you crane your neck round from the washing up,
0:48:13 > 0:48:16as he walks past with a tray of cat sick?
0:48:16 > 0:48:18I mean, surely that's as good?
0:48:18 > 0:48:22Well, it's all you're going to get anyway, isn't it?
0:48:25 > 0:48:29OK, ladies and gentlemen, gather round, if you please.
0:48:29 > 0:48:32It seems to me, this thorny issue of kissing,
0:48:32 > 0:48:36particularly for camera, does rely on a certain degree of trust,
0:48:36 > 0:48:40and a certain degree of awareness of your partner.
0:48:40 > 0:48:44Do you remember playing tag? You tag someone and you can run away?
0:48:44 > 0:48:46Well, there's another version of this,
0:48:46 > 0:48:49do you remember this one that went by the name of kiss chase?
0:48:49 > 0:48:52'Oh, no, he's going to make us do one of those warm-up games
0:48:52 > 0:48:55'to lull us into a bit of actorly snogging.'
0:48:55 > 0:48:58So, it's kiss chase, ladies and gentlemen. Standby, off you go.
0:48:58 > 0:49:01Kiss chase! Go, go, go!
0:49:04 > 0:49:07'Look at those thespians go, I think I'll go in the other direction.'
0:49:07 > 0:49:10Jo's playing this, come on, Joe.
0:49:10 > 0:49:13She's behind the piano, ladies and gentlemen.
0:49:14 > 0:49:17Beautiful, keep going.
0:49:17 > 0:49:19Keep going, Nick's on, Freddie, kiss someone.
0:49:19 > 0:49:23'I haven't even kissed anyone yet, and they're all kissing me!'
0:49:23 > 0:49:26There's three people on, Tom's on, Freddie's on.
0:49:26 > 0:49:29Go, go, go! Beautiful.
0:49:31 > 0:49:32Beautiful.
0:49:32 > 0:49:34OK, enough, thank you.
0:49:34 > 0:49:37So, let me ask you, folks, find yourself a partner,
0:49:37 > 0:49:39not for life, of course, just for now.
0:49:39 > 0:49:43And just go someplace in the room with your partner.
0:49:43 > 0:49:47Ah... Am I going to get partnered with this guy?
0:49:47 > 0:49:51Don't get me wrong, not the sort I had in mind to kiss,
0:49:51 > 0:49:53I'm after a scruffy, pissed, old tramp type.
0:49:53 > 0:49:56This calls for evasive action.
0:49:58 > 0:49:59Can I just pop out a sec?
0:49:59 > 0:50:01Sure, you go.
0:50:05 > 0:50:09I need to subtly put the guy off somehow.
0:50:09 > 0:50:10This should do it.
0:50:10 > 0:50:15Ultimate weapon for discouraging any kind of kisser.
0:50:15 > 0:50:17Mmm.
0:50:17 > 0:50:18Yum.
0:50:23 > 0:50:26And all this comes into play when you have intimate scenes.
0:50:26 > 0:50:30'Oh, what a relief, that bloke's got partnered with someone else.
0:50:30 > 0:50:32'So, who am I going to get, then?'
0:50:32 > 0:50:35Someone partner up Jo - off you go.
0:50:36 > 0:50:37What's your name?
0:50:37 > 0:50:41- I'm John.- Oh, hello. - Nice to meet you.
0:50:41 > 0:50:44He's bit more what I had in mind, but, bugger,
0:50:44 > 0:50:46I've just eaten that garlic.
0:50:46 > 0:50:48Just give me a sec.
0:50:48 > 0:50:50- Sure.- I'll be back in a sec.
0:50:50 > 0:50:52What I wanted to do, folks, is quite easy,
0:50:52 > 0:50:55you each have a script you've been sent.
0:51:02 > 0:51:04That should do it.
0:51:08 > 0:51:11I don't know whether this came through to you,
0:51:11 > 0:51:12but it's a little bit of a script.
0:51:12 > 0:51:17- No.- It's an apartment, it's late at night, you look into John's eyes,
0:51:17 > 0:51:19and you look into Jo's eyes,
0:51:19 > 0:51:21and there's a contact straightaway.
0:51:21 > 0:51:24Maybe it's a smile? I don't know.
0:51:24 > 0:51:28So, of course, in the script I've just been given, we have to kiss.
0:51:28 > 0:51:30Really up for this...
0:51:30 > 0:51:32..I don't think.
0:51:32 > 0:51:34Well, thanks for a lovely evening, it's been great.
0:51:34 > 0:51:36I suppose I better get going.
0:51:36 > 0:51:37Why?
0:51:37 > 0:51:39Well, it's getting late, can I phone a cab?
0:51:39 > 0:51:41Uh, yeah.
0:51:43 > 0:51:46Jo, Jo, Jo!
0:51:47 > 0:51:50That's not how the scene ends.
0:51:50 > 0:51:51I know.
0:51:51 > 0:51:54- It's, "can I phone a cab?" and the scene continues.- OK.
0:51:54 > 0:51:57I can't do this next bit.
0:51:57 > 0:51:58What can't you do?
0:51:58 > 0:52:01I can't go, come here, and give him a kiss.
0:52:01 > 0:52:04I just feel really excruciatingly embarrassed.
0:52:04 > 0:52:05And I don't want to do it.
0:52:05 > 0:52:07Well, that's really nice for a scene,
0:52:07 > 0:52:11if we can reverse it and I can be the one who's asking you to stay.
0:52:11 > 0:52:14OK, all right. Well, thanks for a lovely evening, it was great,
0:52:14 > 0:52:16but I suppose I better be going.
0:52:16 > 0:52:17Why?
0:52:17 > 0:52:19It's getting late, can I call a cab?
0:52:19 > 0:52:20The phone's down.
0:52:20 > 0:52:22I'll walk, then.
0:52:22 > 0:52:24It's pouring down outside, you'll get soaked.
0:52:24 > 0:52:26Got an umbrella?
0:52:26 > 0:52:27No.
0:52:27 > 0:52:29- A hat, then?- No hat either.
0:52:29 > 0:52:32Oh, I'll just get my coat.
0:52:32 > 0:52:34You can stay if you like.
0:52:34 > 0:52:37We wouldn't want you getting soaked outside, would we?
0:52:37 > 0:52:39Uh, no, no, I suppose not.
0:52:39 > 0:52:41- Come here.- No!
0:52:41 > 0:52:42LAUGHTER
0:52:42 > 0:52:46what if we just do a kiss first, for now.
0:52:46 > 0:52:50If you look into the eyes of this guy, just look into them.
0:52:50 > 0:52:51Yes.
0:52:51 > 0:52:52Without the crossed arms.
0:52:52 > 0:52:54No!
0:52:54 > 0:52:56Look at these people here, just have a look at here.
0:52:56 > 0:53:00- Oh, for fuck's sake.- Do you see them? Jo, Jo, stick with it.
0:53:00 > 0:53:03Even though I've got a BAFTA, that was a fucking mistake.
0:53:05 > 0:53:08No, no way, no. I just don't want to.
0:53:08 > 0:53:11- I'm not forcing you to do it. - I was going to have a crack at it
0:53:11 > 0:53:13and up until that point it was fine,
0:53:13 > 0:53:17and that was fine but that's as much as I'm prepared to do.
0:53:20 > 0:53:22Give us a kiss, then, before you go.
0:53:22 > 0:53:23Thank you.
0:53:26 > 0:53:28The reason that I didn't end up snogging someone
0:53:28 > 0:53:32is because after all my investigations about kissing,
0:53:32 > 0:53:34I'm still the same person,
0:53:34 > 0:53:38and I still don't like kissing people in front of a load of people
0:53:38 > 0:53:39that I don't know.
0:53:39 > 0:53:42I suppose the kiss is quite important,
0:53:42 > 0:53:45but it's got to be someone that you want to kiss.
0:53:45 > 0:53:47I do have someone in mind.
0:53:47 > 0:53:51And to get ready for that "mystery man",
0:53:51 > 0:53:55I think perhaps practising this fine art of kissing is best done in a room.
0:53:55 > 0:53:56With a computer...
0:53:56 > 0:53:58..alone.
0:53:58 > 0:54:01You know, chaps, like checking your e-mail and, um, gaming,
0:54:01 > 0:54:04if that's what you're doing up there.
0:54:04 > 0:54:07Hi, friends, this tape, believe it or not,
0:54:07 > 0:54:10is going to teach you how to French kiss.
0:54:10 > 0:54:12Move your tongues around,
0:54:12 > 0:54:16and a good thing to do is go around and around and around
0:54:16 > 0:54:19in a rotating... Oh, aw!
0:54:20 > 0:54:21That's better.
0:54:21 > 0:54:26You know, I think I need a private lesson with that kissing guru, William Cane.
0:54:26 > 0:54:28Let's see if I can get hold of him.
0:54:28 > 0:54:33So, William, are you a terrific kisser?
0:54:33 > 0:54:36Well, I've tried every kiss in the book,
0:54:36 > 0:54:38including the violent one from the South Pacific,
0:54:38 > 0:54:41the Trobriand Islands kiss which involves bloodshed.
0:54:41 > 0:54:44They bite the lower lip so vigorously, they draw blood.
0:54:44 > 0:54:46And they tear out tufts of hair,
0:54:46 > 0:54:49and then finally they nibble off each other's eyelashes.
0:54:49 > 0:54:51I'm going to try that on my husband tonight.
0:54:51 > 0:54:53Now, you better be careful,
0:54:53 > 0:54:57he may take out a restraining order!
0:54:57 > 0:55:01Now, there's a particular mystery man that I'd really like to kiss,
0:55:01 > 0:55:04and I know you'll be a bit disappointed it's not you,
0:55:04 > 0:55:07but do you have any techniques you could recommend to me
0:55:07 > 0:55:09to allow me to move in on him?
0:55:09 > 0:55:11There are two techniques you could use.
0:55:11 > 0:55:15The first technique is to simply tell him
0:55:15 > 0:55:20that you are trying to perfect a certain type of kiss
0:55:20 > 0:55:23that you have never experienced before.
0:55:23 > 0:55:27Most men are intrigued by something new.
0:55:27 > 0:55:30The second thing is to surprise the guy,
0:55:30 > 0:55:34and just put your hands on his shoulders when you're very close
0:55:34 > 0:55:39and just go for it very quickly, but that often can lead to reprisals.
0:55:39 > 0:55:41Right, ha ha!
0:55:41 > 0:55:46Jo, I just want to say, I sincerely wish you all the luck in the world
0:55:46 > 0:55:49trying to get this kiss from that guy.
0:55:49 > 0:55:52Just remember, to think positive throughout the whole thing,
0:55:52 > 0:55:54and you will come out a winner.
0:56:01 > 0:56:06So, with William's positive attitude pep talk ringing in my ears,
0:56:06 > 0:56:09I think I'm ready to get hold of my mystery man,
0:56:09 > 0:56:10the one I most want to kiss.
0:56:18 > 0:56:21That's him, my mystery man.
0:56:21 > 0:56:24I must think positive. I want to be a kissing winner!
0:56:26 > 0:56:28Oh, no, where's he going?
0:56:32 > 0:56:34Oi!
0:56:34 > 0:56:35Oi!
0:56:35 > 0:56:37Turn around so I can see your lips.
0:56:38 > 0:56:41Shit, he's coming back this way.
0:56:49 > 0:56:51Oh!
0:56:51 > 0:56:54OK, this is it, I'm going in.
0:56:56 > 0:56:57Hey, hold up!
0:56:57 > 0:56:59Blimey, can I really be arsed?
0:57:05 > 0:57:10I'll bloody kill the director if he uses the Benny Hill music on this.
0:57:10 > 0:57:11Wait!
0:57:11 > 0:57:12Hold on a minute,
0:57:12 > 0:57:17look, we've just got something really beautiful to do together.
0:57:17 > 0:57:20- I've been practising on my hand, it'll be great, just stop.- Ow!
0:57:26 > 0:57:30Right, mate, seeing as I've gone to all this effort, we might as well.
0:57:32 > 0:57:35But, do you know what, dear viewer?
0:57:35 > 0:57:38just as I was about to get my tasty bite,
0:57:38 > 0:57:40I went and lost my appetite.
0:57:50 > 0:57:54Maybe the kiss isn't so devalued after all,
0:57:54 > 0:57:57just perhaps the case is a uniquely personal and beautiful way
0:57:57 > 0:58:01to communicate all that's really important to another person.
0:58:01 > 0:58:04For this short time you're both on earth.
0:58:09 > 0:58:15The kiss is fine, I've decided, if used wisely, and bloody sparingly.
0:58:17 > 0:58:19And in private.
0:58:54 > 0:58:57Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd