0:00:02 > 0:00:05'My name is June Brown.'
0:00:05 > 0:00:07Sorry, love!
0:00:07 > 0:00:10For 26 years I've played Dot Cotton in Eastenders.
0:00:11 > 0:00:16I was born in 1927, so I'm 85.
0:00:16 > 0:00:21You may not be as old as me, but one day you might be.
0:00:22 > 0:00:25When I was young I didn't consider being old.
0:00:25 > 0:00:27You think you'll live for ever, you know.
0:00:27 > 0:00:30Britain has an ageing population, as we know.
0:00:30 > 0:00:33But what worries me is that
0:00:33 > 0:00:36we as a nation seem to care less and less,
0:00:36 > 0:00:40have less and less admiration and respect for older people.
0:00:40 > 0:00:44The older generation, they do feel isolated, they feel unwanted,
0:00:44 > 0:00:49they feel uninteresting, they feel unvalued, dull.
0:00:49 > 0:00:53I want to find out what's gone wrong.
0:00:53 > 0:00:55I don't want to make you cry.
0:00:55 > 0:00:59I know. Thank you, June, very much.
0:00:59 > 0:01:01It's really quite appalling, isn't it?
0:01:01 > 0:01:04What does it mean to care, and be cared for?
0:01:04 > 0:01:07Ah, it's the wedding.
0:01:07 > 0:01:12Do you ever feel that you are a burden.
0:01:12 > 0:01:14Yeah.
0:01:14 > 0:01:18What sort of care would you like to think that you would have?
0:01:18 > 0:01:21I know my offspring will have something to say about my future, now.
0:01:21 > 0:01:24So, if you suddenly can't walk, and can't get out of bed,
0:01:24 > 0:01:26and can't feed yourself...
0:01:26 > 0:01:31- I'd like to die.- What sort of people would you like...?- Just put me down.
0:01:31 > 0:01:35But I must try to find out if we can change our society
0:01:35 > 0:01:39so that it's more respectful to its elders once again.
0:01:39 > 0:01:45It is in our interest to remember that one day everybody will be old.
0:01:51 > 0:01:56That is... Oh, my eyes, oh, dear. Oh, this is brilliant. Turmeric.
0:01:56 > 0:02:02Now, this is for your mind. Kelp seaweed. Iron. Vitamin C.
0:02:02 > 0:02:04Yeah, I do take that.
0:02:04 > 0:02:07Oh, Royal Jelly, it's frightfully good for your femininity.
0:02:07 > 0:02:10So this is very good for increasing your bosom.
0:02:10 > 0:02:15I've got one that's 36709, but I don't think it's that one.
0:02:15 > 0:02:19This is like a spark plug.
0:02:19 > 0:02:25- June, do you take all these pills? - Yes.- What?- Proof positive.
0:02:25 > 0:02:27You must spend half your day taking these.
0:02:27 > 0:02:30I can take those with my breakfast. I can take four or five at a time.
0:02:30 > 0:02:35Looking at all these pills, June, it makes me think that you're worried about dying.
0:02:35 > 0:02:38No, it's nothing to do with... It's being healthy.
0:02:38 > 0:02:41That's what it is, is being healthy.
0:02:41 > 0:02:47It's not getting ill and doubling up and having poor bones.
0:02:50 > 0:02:52I know I'm very fortunate.
0:02:52 > 0:02:56I'm a working actress, healthy, as far as I know,
0:02:56 > 0:02:59and I'm surrounded by a large family.
0:02:59 > 0:03:01My daughters, Louise, Sophie, Chloe and Naomi,
0:03:01 > 0:03:07and my son Billy, with their children, live locally.
0:03:07 > 0:03:12I see more of my daughters Naomi and Louise as they share the job of being my personal assistant.
0:03:12 > 0:03:16- Phoebes!- Hello.- Hello.
0:03:16 > 0:03:18I suppose I still live in an extended family
0:03:18 > 0:03:23where grandparents, parents and children are still together.
0:03:23 > 0:03:27What does Grandmum want? I'm the only one that asked.
0:03:28 > 0:03:32What happens as you get older, they treat you like a child, like a baby.
0:03:32 > 0:03:35- Don't get old, I tell you. - I'll try not to.
0:03:35 > 0:03:40You see, I think that the extended family is the natural way to be brought up,
0:03:40 > 0:03:45and I had this great fortune of being very close to my grandfather
0:03:45 > 0:03:50and grandmother, my mother's parents, and going every day to see them.
0:03:50 > 0:03:55When I was growing up, the extended family always looked after its own.
0:03:57 > 0:04:00So when my 85-year-old grandfather was widowed,
0:04:00 > 0:04:03he came and lived with our family.
0:04:03 > 0:04:07My daughters are now talking about what might happen to me,
0:04:07 > 0:04:09but I don't want to think about it.
0:04:12 > 0:04:15You cannot contemplate what is going to happen to you,
0:04:15 > 0:04:18and I trust that I will die well.
0:04:18 > 0:04:23So, if you suddenly can't walk and can't get out of bed, and can't feed yourself...
0:04:23 > 0:04:24How would you like...?
0:04:24 > 0:04:28What sort of care would you like to think that you would have?
0:04:30 > 0:04:32How would you like to live that last week if you were...?
0:04:32 > 0:04:35Here or in a care home?
0:04:35 > 0:04:38I most certainly wouldn't like to go into a care home.
0:04:38 > 0:04:41That is absolutely certain. I like my own home.
0:04:44 > 0:04:48I don't want to consider going into a care home myself,
0:04:48 > 0:04:52but as so many people do, it seems a good place to begin.
0:04:53 > 0:04:57My daughter Louise and I are visiting one near where we live.
0:04:57 > 0:05:04I think this is an ideal opportunity for us to find out what care homes are really like.
0:05:04 > 0:05:07Let's look at the options. What, you know...
0:05:10 > 0:05:16Before the Second World War, older people who needed care
0:05:16 > 0:05:20were looked after in hospitals, some former workhouses, mainly at home.
0:05:20 > 0:05:25It was the founding of the NHS in 1948 that meant the state
0:05:25 > 0:05:28starting running the care home as we know it today.
0:05:29 > 0:05:33There are now over 400,000 people in care homes in the UK,
0:05:33 > 0:05:37and that figure is expected to double over the next 30 years.
0:05:38 > 0:05:42- Hello, you must be June. Welcome to Warrengate.- And you are Kathy...
0:05:42 > 0:05:45- Kathy Paling, the manager. - Thank you.
0:05:45 > 0:05:47Would you like to follow me?
0:05:56 > 0:05:59Mary had a stroke three years ago and is now bedridden
0:05:59 > 0:06:01and has been living here for a year.
0:06:01 > 0:06:04- So much younger, doesn't she? - In real life? Yes.
0:06:04 > 0:06:08- Yeah, you look so much younger. - Actually, I'm older than Dot.
0:06:10 > 0:06:12You look very cheerful and well.
0:06:12 > 0:06:16Excited about somebody like this coming and happening to me.
0:06:16 > 0:06:18- Isn't that nice! - Cos I'm mainly in my room.
0:06:18 > 0:06:22- You mainly stay here. - Yeah, because I can't walk.
0:06:22 > 0:06:27- You're in good health, aren't you? Look very well.- Touch wood.
0:06:27 > 0:06:29Old pagan custom, touch wood.
0:06:29 > 0:06:32Do you remember about care homes in the '50s?
0:06:35 > 0:06:39I can't remember. Children looked after their parents in them days, didn't they?
0:06:39 > 0:06:44- Yes, they did.- Because families were much together then.
0:06:44 > 0:06:48- The family life is going, isn't it? It's gone.- Yes.
0:06:48 > 0:06:51Have you got any ideas why?
0:06:51 > 0:06:58I think, my own idea is because women go to work now.
0:06:58 > 0:07:00In my day you didn't go to work,
0:07:00 > 0:07:03you were looked on as your husband couldn't keep you.
0:07:03 > 0:07:07- Yes, there was that, wasn't there? - Yeah, there was a slur about it.
0:07:07 > 0:07:13We're coming to look at the care homes, just in case, as they say.
0:07:13 > 0:07:17- This is very good.- You enjoy it? - They're very good to me here. - Are they?
0:07:17 > 0:07:20Well, I can tell from your face. Because you're lively.
0:07:20 > 0:07:26My children made sure where I came was going to be one of the best.
0:07:26 > 0:07:30- Yes.- What do you feel about care homes in general?
0:07:30 > 0:07:33It probably is an improvement if there's something wrong with you,
0:07:33 > 0:07:38you know, if you've got diabetes, or if you've got Alzheimer's, say.
0:07:38 > 0:07:43- Definitely, in that way. I would much rather be at home.- Right.
0:07:43 > 0:07:49You know, I think you all want to be at your own home with your own children round you,
0:07:49 > 0:07:51it's easier for them to come and see me.
0:07:51 > 0:07:5740% of residents in care homes suffer from some form of dementia.
0:07:57 > 0:08:02I know what a terrible disease this is because my husband Bob suffered from Lewy body dementia
0:08:02 > 0:08:05until he died aged 71.
0:08:06 > 0:08:09What happened with Bob first of all
0:08:09 > 0:08:13was that he began not to be able to add up change.
0:08:13 > 0:08:15And then he began to hallucinate.
0:08:15 > 0:08:19He began to see people who weren't there, but unpleasant people,
0:08:19 > 0:08:22people he didn't know, but people looking at him.
0:08:22 > 0:08:27My daughter Louise was his sole carer.
0:08:27 > 0:08:33I cared for my father during the final two years of his dementia.
0:08:33 > 0:08:35I felt that it made me a lot stronger.
0:08:37 > 0:08:42Because until then, I'd only had to really deal with myself, emotionally.
0:08:42 > 0:08:48So my husband was fortunate that he could be cared for at home.
0:08:48 > 0:08:51Another resident is Margaret, who is in the advanced stages of dementia.
0:08:51 > 0:08:56It all became too much for her husband, Brian, when she kept falling over.
0:08:56 > 0:09:03I'm very interested in, you know, how you feel about Margaret being here.
0:09:03 > 0:09:07The choice was really taken out of my hands, which was perhaps good.
0:09:07 > 0:09:12Erm... I mean, it didn't stop me feeling terribly guilty,
0:09:12 > 0:09:16but I didn't have a choice, so...
0:09:16 > 0:09:21- And so the difference here... - Oh, it's amazing, I'm no longer her carer.
0:09:21 > 0:09:25Two in one, and two five,
0:09:25 > 0:09:28and that has brought, that has brought that in to the home...
0:09:28 > 0:09:29Has it?
0:09:29 > 0:09:32While, you know, the end...
0:09:32 > 0:09:33Eh?
0:09:33 > 0:09:37- It's fair...- You have to learn this new language.
0:09:37 > 0:09:40It's a special language.
0:09:40 > 0:09:44How would you feel about going into a care home? Something like this, or...?
0:09:44 > 0:09:47Well, I think this is a very nice one, this is...
0:09:47 > 0:09:53It seems very well run. The people that I've met are happy here, which is good.
0:09:53 > 0:09:55- It's not something I'd...- Want?
0:09:55 > 0:09:57..want, or...
0:09:57 > 0:10:03If you were maybe ill or couldn't look after yourself on your own.
0:10:03 > 0:10:06Yes. One doesn't really like to think about that, does one?
0:10:06 > 0:10:09No, one sticks one's head in the sand and goes away.
0:10:09 > 0:10:10Sweep it under the carpet, don't you?
0:10:10 > 0:10:13There's a photograph of Scarlet O'Hara in the corridor.
0:10:13 > 0:10:16That's it exactly. "I'll think about it tomorrow", she said.
0:10:16 > 0:10:17THEY LAUGH
0:10:17 > 0:10:20SHE MOANS
0:10:20 > 0:10:21Shhh. You're all right.
0:10:21 > 0:10:24It's just lovely to hear her talk. It's great.
0:10:24 > 0:10:27Rather than just sit there. It's great.
0:10:27 > 0:10:30It feels like it's very hard for June
0:10:30 > 0:10:34to even contemplate her sort of mortality.
0:10:37 > 0:10:43As good as this care home is this really is one of my worst fears,
0:10:43 > 0:10:47ending my days staring at the television.
0:10:47 > 0:10:48She has a...
0:10:48 > 0:10:51She has a barrier.
0:10:51 > 0:10:53She can't bear to think about being dependent.
0:10:53 > 0:10:56She's never been dependent on anybody.
0:10:56 > 0:10:58She's been the carer, the provider.
0:10:58 > 0:11:02What if she was, you know, incontinent?
0:11:02 > 0:11:08My father was incontinent. I've...you know...
0:11:08 > 0:11:13I've been more intimate with my father
0:11:13 > 0:11:17than I would maybe have wished in that respect
0:11:17 > 0:11:19and you do what you have to do,
0:11:19 > 0:11:23you wipe their bottoms, you clean up their grazes,
0:11:23 > 0:11:26you feed them, you...
0:11:28 > 0:11:30You do what you have to do.
0:11:30 > 0:11:32SHE YAWNS
0:11:32 > 0:11:33JUNE LAUGHS
0:11:33 > 0:11:36How was that for you?
0:11:36 > 0:11:38SHE LAUGHS
0:11:38 > 0:11:43Sometime in the future, I think it would be very sensible for us
0:11:43 > 0:11:50to consider how you might need help, assistance in later years.
0:11:50 > 0:11:52You can see my face.
0:11:52 > 0:11:54Hopefully, someone will do the same for me.
0:11:54 > 0:11:58- You know, it's not...- Oh, yes, I know because I've got all the children and you haven't.
0:11:58 > 0:12:01It's not just about you but it happens to be about you
0:12:01 > 0:12:04because you are the matriarch, you'd like to stay in your own home.
0:12:04 > 0:12:06I don't want to be looked after at all.
0:12:06 > 0:12:09But you need someone to help you get dressed in the morning or, you know...
0:12:09 > 0:12:12- Crikey!- Yes, but why shouldn't we discuss these things?
0:12:12 > 0:12:15Well, that's enough now. I've had enough of it now.
0:12:15 > 0:12:18- I don't want to talk about it any more. We've discussed it enough.- OK.
0:12:21 > 0:12:27All my children understand that, for me, the thought of needing care
0:12:27 > 0:12:31is something that I do not wish to discuss.
0:12:31 > 0:12:35Do you think she's enjoying this documentary?
0:12:35 > 0:12:37I think she's finding it interesting.
0:12:37 > 0:12:41Yes, I think it's just so different for her that it's...
0:12:41 > 0:12:47I think it might make her think a bit about her latter years.
0:12:47 > 0:12:49She won't talk about going into care, will she?
0:12:49 > 0:12:51BOTH: No.
0:12:51 > 0:12:54Why not?
0:12:54 > 0:12:58Well, she can't bear the thought of being not independent
0:12:58 > 0:13:04and she just has this thing that she thinks
0:13:04 > 0:13:06she's going to die in her sleep.
0:13:06 > 0:13:07Do you like working for your mother?
0:13:09 > 0:13:11Yes, it's very satisfying.
0:13:11 > 0:13:14THEY LAUGH
0:13:14 > 0:13:17Sometimes it can be very interesting.
0:13:17 > 0:13:19THEY LAUGH
0:13:19 > 0:13:23It can be very interesting!
0:13:23 > 0:13:28My children do keep telling me if anything happens to me
0:13:28 > 0:13:32they'll look after me, but I'm not sure that's what I want.
0:13:32 > 0:13:35I'd hate to be a burden to anyone.
0:13:35 > 0:13:37I'm on my way to see my dear friend
0:13:37 > 0:13:41and EastEnders on-screen husband, John Barden.
0:13:41 > 0:13:44Since suffering a massive stroke five years ago,
0:13:44 > 0:13:48John's been looked after at home by his wife, Enda.
0:13:48 > 0:13:53We got on very well, you know. We got to understand each other.
0:13:53 > 0:13:56We could give each other notes without offence.
0:13:56 > 0:13:58We have a very good rapport.
0:13:59 > 0:14:03We had very good timing together and we laughed quite a lot,
0:14:03 > 0:14:05which is nice.
0:14:05 > 0:14:09I mean, to be serious and laugh when you're working is the best way.
0:14:09 > 0:14:13After refusing his advances for a year,
0:14:13 > 0:14:18Dot finally succumbed and married Jim Branning in 2001.
0:14:20 > 0:14:24Dorothy, will you marry me?
0:14:27 > 0:14:28Yeah.
0:14:31 > 0:14:33Yeah, I will.
0:14:35 > 0:14:39- Hello.- Hi, June.
0:14:39 > 0:14:43- You look wonderful! As usual!- Oh, and you've done yourself up a treat.
0:14:43 > 0:14:45THEY LAUGH
0:14:45 > 0:14:49- You scrub up well. Where's John? - He's in there, yes.
0:14:49 > 0:14:52Hello. Oh, you're looking at my dress, are you?
0:14:52 > 0:14:54I wore this especially for you.
0:14:54 > 0:14:57- Oh!- I know you like nice clothes. - Yeah!
0:14:57 > 0:15:03Now John, who's 73, can't walk, nor talk and is bedridden.
0:15:03 > 0:15:05Enda does everything for him.
0:15:05 > 0:15:08John, would you like tea or coffee?
0:15:08 > 0:15:12- Yeah.- Cup of tea?- Yeah. Oh. Yeah.
0:15:12 > 0:15:17- Which? Tea?- Yeah.- Tea or coffee? - Yeah, all right, yeah.- Go on, say it.
0:15:19 > 0:15:24- Tea.- Oh, fuck off.- John! John! You mustn't swear!
0:15:24 > 0:15:26Very naughty!
0:15:26 > 0:15:30Will you say tea for me?
0:15:30 > 0:15:35- Tea.- Tea.- Merci.- Tea. - Come here and have a look.
0:15:35 > 0:15:40This one was when we were... The proposal.
0:15:40 > 0:15:42THEY LAUGH
0:15:42 > 0:15:48- Aw, it's the wedding. Yeah, I know. - Oh, God. Oh, dear, dear, dear.
0:15:48 > 0:15:52I'll hold it and you point cos we can't... Oh! Is that me?
0:15:52 > 0:15:54HE MOANS
0:15:54 > 0:15:58We're five years into the stroke in June and you know,
0:15:58 > 0:16:00he hasn't got any better.
0:16:00 > 0:16:03Cor! Facking hell, that...
0:16:03 > 0:16:05THEY LAUGH
0:16:05 > 0:16:08John was a very talented man.
0:16:08 > 0:16:12As well as an excellent actor, he was a superb artist.
0:16:12 > 0:16:15This is one of the last things he did.
0:16:15 > 0:16:21So sad how clever he was and he can't do any of this any more.
0:16:21 > 0:16:24- It's...- He tried with his left hand
0:16:24 > 0:16:28but when you are so capable with your right hand...
0:16:28 > 0:16:31I don't know. I couldn't even write with my left hand,
0:16:31 > 0:16:34let alone do any drawings or paintings.
0:16:34 > 0:16:36When did John have the stroke?
0:16:36 > 0:16:40Well, we'd been to the rubbish dump cos we were moving house
0:16:40 > 0:16:44and he'd gone outside to have a cigarette.
0:16:44 > 0:16:45I was sitting reading the paper
0:16:45 > 0:16:50but thought it was too quiet for too long and I went to the study
0:16:50 > 0:16:55and he wasn't in there, and I went outside and I found him lying there.
0:16:55 > 0:16:56He didn't have the cigarette.
0:16:56 > 0:17:01I did think he was dead but he wasn't, and I rang 999
0:17:01 > 0:17:05and I did say, "I think he's had a stroke", and that was it.
0:17:05 > 0:17:10John requires round-the-clock care, leaving Enda no time for herself.
0:17:10 > 0:17:11It's like having a baby.
0:17:11 > 0:17:15You're still listening out in case he makes any noise
0:17:15 > 0:17:18and I do have to because sometimes he has
0:17:18 > 0:17:20accidents in the middle of the night and you have to get up
0:17:20 > 0:17:23and see to him because I won't let him lie in anything.
0:17:23 > 0:17:25I will make sure he's clean.
0:17:25 > 0:17:29As you've seen yourself, he's...he's going the wrong way.
0:17:29 > 0:17:32Going the wrong way now.
0:17:32 > 0:17:33DOORBELL RINGS
0:17:33 > 0:17:36John's main pleasure now is when Enda's grandson Harry visits.
0:17:36 > 0:17:38Hello!
0:17:39 > 0:17:44- Hello!- Are you going to say bye-bye to Mummy?
0:17:44 > 0:17:46Give Mummy a kiss bye-bye.
0:17:46 > 0:17:50Bye-bye. Thank you!
0:17:50 > 0:17:54Hello, Grandpa! Hello, Grandpa!
0:17:56 > 0:17:58HE SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY
0:17:58 > 0:18:00He's not very well, Grandpa.
0:18:00 > 0:18:02Aw!
0:18:02 > 0:18:05Are you going to give Grandpa a big kiss?
0:18:05 > 0:18:09Yeah? Where's Grandpa's big kiss?
0:18:10 > 0:18:12Good boy!
0:18:12 > 0:18:17- How does Harry get on with John? - Oh, great. Give him a cuddle.
0:18:17 > 0:18:19This is what children need,
0:18:19 > 0:18:23to grow up within the family circle with the older generation.
0:18:23 > 0:18:27This is what used to happen. I always went to my grand...
0:18:27 > 0:18:29Grandchildren are a new lease of life.
0:18:29 > 0:18:32This is one thing that takes my mind off my every day chores with John,
0:18:32 > 0:18:35having Harry here, you know.
0:18:35 > 0:18:41I'm so worried about what looking after John is doing to Enda.
0:18:41 > 0:18:44Like me, I know a lot of older people share a fear
0:18:44 > 0:18:47of being a burden to their family.
0:18:48 > 0:18:50- I want to ask you something, John.- Right.
0:18:50 > 0:18:53It's quite a personal question
0:18:53 > 0:18:56and if you don't want to answer it, then just don't.
0:18:57 > 0:19:02How does being in this state make you feel?
0:19:10 > 0:19:12- Are you content?- Yeah.
0:19:14 > 0:19:16Happy?
0:19:16 > 0:19:18This is really personal,
0:19:18 > 0:19:21and just shake your head if you don't want to answer,
0:19:21 > 0:19:26do you ever feel that you are a burden to Enda?
0:19:28 > 0:19:29Yeah.
0:19:33 > 0:19:37- Well, you're not to her because she loves you very much.- Yeah.
0:19:37 > 0:19:41HE SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY
0:19:41 > 0:19:43All right.
0:19:44 > 0:19:48Thank you. Thanks for answering that.
0:19:51 > 0:19:53HE SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY
0:19:53 > 0:19:56- Oh, dear.- Oh, dear, dear, dear.
0:19:56 > 0:20:00- I've got to go now, we've got to be off.- Oh!
0:20:00 > 0:20:03- Yeah, we've got to be off.- Oh!
0:20:03 > 0:20:06- Oh, dear.- Oh.
0:20:07 > 0:20:10- Bye-bye, John.- All right.
0:20:13 > 0:20:17- OK.- All right.- Lot's of love, June, and safe home. Safe home.- Thank you.
0:20:17 > 0:20:21- Bye-bye!- Thank you for doing this for me. Bye-bye, Harry.
0:20:23 > 0:20:25Aw! Aw!
0:20:25 > 0:20:29Enda's doing an extraordinary job looking after John
0:20:29 > 0:20:31but it's taking its toll on her.
0:20:32 > 0:20:34Around half a million older people
0:20:34 > 0:20:39have their health needs met by professional carers.
0:20:39 > 0:20:42I'm going to spend the day with Julie.
0:20:42 > 0:20:46She's been caring for the elderly for the last 22 years.
0:20:46 > 0:20:51Julie, how do you think, with all your experience,
0:20:51 > 0:20:56how do you think people in this country treat older people?
0:20:58 > 0:21:03- Appallingly.- Yeah. - They just get forgotten.
0:21:03 > 0:21:05Elderly people get forgotten.
0:21:05 > 0:21:09Two things my nan always said to all us children when we were growing up,
0:21:09 > 0:21:14"It costs nothing for your Ps and Qs" and, "You must respect you elders."
0:21:14 > 0:21:15And I tell that to my children.
0:21:15 > 0:21:17It made me go quite shivery for a moment.
0:21:17 > 0:21:20I had a shudder go through me. But it's true.
0:21:20 > 0:21:24- I lost my nan 21 years ago and I miss her to this day now.- There you are.
0:21:24 > 0:21:26And I go round, doing my job, caring for the ladies
0:21:26 > 0:21:29and gents I care for, the way I would care for own nan.
0:21:29 > 0:21:31- Yes.- And that gives me my satisfaction of my job.
0:21:31 > 0:21:33That's what I'm saying, that's where...
0:21:33 > 0:21:36Either you were a caring person, you could have been both,
0:21:36 > 0:21:38but that's where you learn to care.
0:21:38 > 0:21:40You can't just do it as a job though, June.
0:21:40 > 0:21:42- After you.- Thank you, darling.
0:21:42 > 0:21:45We're going to visit Margaret.
0:21:45 > 0:21:49She's 82 and is one of Julie's regulars.
0:21:49 > 0:21:52Morning, Margaret! Are you all right?
0:21:52 > 0:21:55- I hope I'm not interrupting so early in the morning.- June...
0:21:55 > 0:21:56It's a pleasure to meet you.
0:21:56 > 0:21:59- Thank you very much. It's a pleasure to meet you.- Oh, lovely.
0:21:59 > 0:22:03Do you mind if I sit on your arm because I'm sort of more level?
0:22:03 > 0:22:06Margaret, I'm going to get your porridge ready while you have
0:22:06 > 0:22:10a chat with June because you've got to take your insulin, haven't you?
0:22:10 > 0:22:11OK, love. Yeah.
0:22:11 > 0:22:15- She seems an awfully nice person. - Absolutely wonderful.
0:22:15 > 0:22:19I can't do anything for myself now.
0:22:19 > 0:22:22I had a private one and she used to come in and look after me
0:22:22 > 0:22:25but I can't afford it any more.
0:22:25 > 0:22:26No, no.
0:22:26 > 0:22:31- All my savings have gone now, you know.- Here's your breakfast.
0:22:31 > 0:22:33- I'll get out of the way. - OK. Thank you, June.
0:22:33 > 0:22:39Now she's used all her savings, the state helps fund Margaret's care.
0:22:39 > 0:22:43She is allocated 30 minutes of carer Julie's time.
0:22:43 > 0:22:46It might be a half hour easier if you were very rude and didn't stop
0:22:46 > 0:22:49- and talk and make sure that they was OK.- Well, that's the point.
0:22:49 > 0:22:52Cos if you don't get to know your clients, then you don't know
0:22:52 > 0:22:54when they're poorly and off colour.
0:22:54 > 0:22:59And Margaret even pays for her own pads.
0:22:59 > 0:23:03- Her own...?- Pads.- Oh, I know what you mean.- Just for safety, you know.
0:23:03 > 0:23:06- She's not really... - That's disgraceful!- That's it.
0:23:06 > 0:23:08But then if she gets assessed by the nurse as incontinent,
0:23:08 > 0:23:13the nurse comes in and assesses what liquid goes in, what liquid
0:23:13 > 0:23:16comes out and magics up a number, "Oh, you can have three pads a day!"
0:23:16 > 0:23:20Margaret has decided to pay for her own pads rather than be assessed.
0:23:20 > 0:23:25I had no idea I would be like this when I got to 80.
0:23:25 > 0:23:28I'm sorry, guys, but we're going to have to...
0:23:28 > 0:23:30We need to start going on to our next one.
0:23:30 > 0:23:35Not finished, but the next person also has a real serious need
0:23:35 > 0:23:36that I need to attend to.
0:23:36 > 0:23:38And if I had more time...
0:23:38 > 0:23:41Yeah, she would stay with me. I know she would.
0:23:41 > 0:23:45I get told what time I can have with the ladies and gents that I come to
0:23:45 > 0:23:48and it breaks my heart to walk away, knowing that Margaret's
0:23:48 > 0:23:52just finished her breakfast, hasn't got washed, hasn't got dressed.
0:23:52 > 0:23:59- I don't want to make you cry. - I know. Thank you, June, very much.
0:23:59 > 0:24:02- It's really quite appalling, isn't it?- It is.
0:24:02 > 0:24:04It's horrible leaving somebody like that,
0:24:04 > 0:24:08knowing that you could do so much more for them.
0:24:08 > 0:24:13Next we go to see a former nurse called Joyce who is terminally ill.
0:24:16 > 0:24:18Morning, Joyce!
0:24:18 > 0:24:22Anyone who is about to die receives palliative care,
0:24:22 > 0:24:24which is fully funded by the state.
0:24:24 > 0:24:28Unaware of how to get this funding, Joyce has been paying for her
0:24:28 > 0:24:32own care but after a series of assessments,
0:24:32 > 0:24:34finally, she got her allowance.
0:24:34 > 0:24:40The palliative care started two years ago
0:24:40 > 0:24:45and it's taken two years to get it really organised.
0:24:45 > 0:24:49I gave my life to the NHS.
0:24:49 > 0:24:54I started nursing in 1946
0:24:54 > 0:25:00but now I need it, it's not there.
0:25:00 > 0:25:03It's been very, very nice to meet you. Thank you very much.
0:25:03 > 0:25:05You're welcome.
0:25:05 > 0:25:09Yes, and I hope you have a lovely, easy next few months
0:25:09 > 0:25:11and the sun shines.
0:25:11 > 0:25:14If I can just stay in my own home and do the things that
0:25:14 > 0:25:20I enjoy doing and go peacefully at the end, that will be fine.
0:25:20 > 0:25:23That's what I wish you.
0:25:23 > 0:25:26- If I may.- That's all I need.- Yeah.
0:25:27 > 0:25:31You would think people would look at her record and say,
0:25:31 > 0:25:34"Come on, let's repay her."
0:25:35 > 0:25:37But then it's the same with everything.
0:25:37 > 0:25:40You don't actually get repaid
0:25:40 > 0:25:44but just society itself should behave better.
0:25:46 > 0:25:50'It's not just in how old people are cared for that there are problems.
0:25:50 > 0:25:53'Many older people feel that they're not cared about.
0:25:53 > 0:25:55'The shoving at bus stops because of their slowness
0:25:55 > 0:25:58'and the names they get called.
0:25:58 > 0:26:01'Coffin-dodgers indeed.'
0:26:01 > 0:26:03I want to meet older people who are fed up with being
0:26:03 > 0:26:05pushed around and are doing something about it.
0:26:05 > 0:26:07PRODUCER: Where are we going, June?
0:26:07 > 0:26:11We're going to see Frank who is an ex-taxi driver
0:26:11 > 0:26:16and is someone who feels strongly about the way older
0:26:16 > 0:26:21people are disregarded, not noticed, pushed out of the way.
0:26:25 > 0:26:28We're just a nuisance. A pain in the neck, a pain in the butt.
0:26:28 > 0:26:32And we're not. We still have a lot to offer.
0:26:32 > 0:26:36I did a little exercise, coming here today.
0:26:36 > 0:26:40I use a walking stick, a fold-up walking stick, because I have a bit of a back problem.
0:26:40 > 0:26:44So the first bus I get on is full.
0:26:44 > 0:26:48So I'm getting on with a stick and I'm wobbling and I'm looking and pleading
0:26:48 > 0:26:51but they're all looking away like they haven't noticed me.
0:26:51 > 0:26:54- And I'm going, "Excuse me, I'm here."- Yeah.- Like that.
0:26:54 > 0:26:56But even in seats that are marked up,
0:26:56 > 0:27:00"Please give for disabled and elderly people." Didn't matter.
0:27:00 > 0:27:03- No.- but in our day we didn't need those signs.
0:27:03 > 0:27:05We were brought up to do it anyway.
0:27:05 > 0:27:08I mean, you never read about old people being beaten up,
0:27:08 > 0:27:10you know, when you were young.
0:27:10 > 0:27:14Absolutely not. Our streets were as safe as anything.
0:27:14 > 0:27:18- Our houses were as safe as anything. - Exactly. How do we change?
0:27:18 > 0:27:21- How do we...?- Can we change? I don't know. Can we?
0:27:21 > 0:27:25It's a scary thought, isn't it? To go backwards.
0:27:25 > 0:27:28My first thought was, you know, you can't turn the clock back.
0:27:28 > 0:27:32- But we've got to change. - We've got to change somehow.
0:27:32 > 0:27:35- How much do I owe you, Joe? - No, it's fine, June.
0:27:35 > 0:27:39- It's on the house.- That's very good of you.- Pleasure to have you.
0:27:39 > 0:27:41That's proper East End hospitality, isn't it?
0:27:43 > 0:27:46What do you think about the way people treat the older generation?
0:27:46 > 0:27:48That's what we've been talking about here.
0:27:48 > 0:27:52- It's just a lack of respect. - It's just general respect.
0:27:52 > 0:27:55- You ain't got to think about it, it's just common courtesy.- Yes.
0:27:55 > 0:27:58- Please and thank you cost nothing but can go a long way.- Exactly.
0:27:58 > 0:28:01But you've got, we must keep trying though.
0:28:01 > 0:28:07It's got to, it should come to an end because it's just crazy.
0:28:07 > 0:28:09We've got to go or we'll be late.
0:28:09 > 0:28:13- We'll be late for our gig, won't we, June?- Yeah.
0:28:13 > 0:28:16I don't know, it's your gig. It's not my gig.
0:28:16 > 0:28:19- Are we going to have a knees-up? - Sort of, yeah.- Thank you very much.
0:28:24 > 0:28:27'Frank is a member of a group of pensioners called The Zimmers,
0:28:27 > 0:28:33'which formed as a musical protest against the way older people are treated by society.'
0:28:33 > 0:28:38- This is the theatre.- The Courtyard. - The Courtyard. Yeah.
0:28:48 > 0:28:55# What the world needs now is love Sweet love
0:28:55 > 0:28:58# No, not just for some
0:28:58 > 0:29:01# But for everyone. #
0:29:02 > 0:29:06MUSIC: "(You Gotta) Fight For Your Right (To Party!)" by Beastie Boys
0:29:18 > 0:29:22# Woke up late for school man You don't wanna go
0:29:25 > 0:29:29# You ask your mom please But she still says no
0:29:31 > 0:29:35# You miss two classes and no homework
0:29:37 > 0:29:44# You gotta fight for your right to party. #
0:29:48 > 0:29:52So you come on at the beginning as bumbly old...
0:29:52 > 0:29:56- Bumbly old crumblies. And then shock them.- Is that what they think of you?
0:29:56 > 0:30:00- "So this is what you think of me," you're saying, are you?- Yeah.
0:30:00 > 0:30:03We want the young people to realise that they're gonna be old once,
0:30:03 > 0:30:07at some time, and they should treat us how they want to be treated,
0:30:07 > 0:30:09but how do you get that message across?
0:30:09 > 0:30:13- "The Zimmers!" - THEY LAUGH
0:30:13 > 0:30:15Just because our bodies are old, it don't mean...
0:30:15 > 0:30:18Don't let your body get old! You've got to lift your tummy up.
0:30:18 > 0:30:20Look at that! Look at that!
0:30:20 > 0:30:23I do feel that so many children don't have grandparents,
0:30:23 > 0:30:26they don't grow up with older people, therefore they don't grow up
0:30:26 > 0:30:29admiring them, loving them, having an affinity with them, do they?
0:30:29 > 0:30:33- That's right.- I wonder if we could rent a granny or grandad?
0:30:33 > 0:30:36RHYTHMIC STAMPING
0:30:36 > 0:30:37Sing it!
0:30:37 > 0:30:41# We will, we will rock you!
0:30:41 > 0:30:43# You've got blood on your face You big disgrace
0:30:43 > 0:30:46# Waving your banner all over the place
0:30:46 > 0:30:51# We will, we will rock you
0:30:51 > 0:30:55# We will, we will rock you. #
0:30:55 > 0:30:57WHOOPING
0:30:57 > 0:30:59JUNE LAUGHS
0:30:59 > 0:31:03'The best way of complaining is the way that The Zimmers do it.'
0:31:03 > 0:31:05Because it's funny.
0:31:05 > 0:31:08And it's much more telling if you can say things
0:31:08 > 0:31:12and be amusing about them than if you whinge.
0:31:12 > 0:31:15Whingeing gets you nowhere. The ears close, people turn away.
0:31:19 > 0:31:22'I love what The Zimmers stand for but I want to understand
0:31:22 > 0:31:24'why it's come to this.
0:31:24 > 0:31:27'Why have we lost respect for older people?
0:31:27 > 0:31:31'I believe the break-up of the family means many children have lost
0:31:31 > 0:31:33'contact with their grandparents
0:31:33 > 0:31:36'and young and old have become separated.'
0:31:36 > 0:31:39PRODUCER: What are all these photos?
0:31:39 > 0:31:42A lot of them are of my childhood, yes,
0:31:42 > 0:31:46and a few that I have of my grandfather and grandmother.
0:31:46 > 0:31:49And that is the youngest
0:31:49 > 0:31:53that I was when I was photographed with my grandfather.
0:31:53 > 0:31:57Grandfather was born in 1858
0:31:57 > 0:32:01and he was the youngest of 13 children.
0:32:01 > 0:32:05He decided that the railway had suddenly become very prominent
0:32:05 > 0:32:09and he decided he would go and work in the railway.
0:32:09 > 0:32:14He was my role model really, because he was such a good man.
0:32:14 > 0:32:19You know, my role model wasn't a footballer or a popstar,
0:32:19 > 0:32:24he was this good man who was sort of my idea, almost, of God.
0:32:24 > 0:32:27In those days, white-haired man in the sky.
0:32:27 > 0:32:32I don't think that way now but that is how I saw him, as goodness.
0:32:32 > 0:32:36Yes, I think it's very sad that children are growing up,
0:32:36 > 0:32:41a lot of children are growing up who never know their grandparents.
0:32:41 > 0:32:45Gradually it has become wider and wider,
0:32:45 > 0:32:50this gulf between younger and the older people.
0:32:52 > 0:32:55And I don't know, really, how one will bridge it.
0:33:02 > 0:33:06I'm beginning to think the absence of grandparents from the family
0:33:06 > 0:33:09is a large part of the problem we are facing.
0:33:09 > 0:33:13So where in this country can I find grandparents
0:33:13 > 0:33:15living with their children?
0:33:15 > 0:33:18- Hello! Come in!- Mrs Patel?
0:33:18 > 0:33:19I'm Miss Patel.
0:33:19 > 0:33:22'I've been invited to dinner at the Patel family house near Wembley.'
0:33:22 > 0:33:25- I've come to supper. - THEY LAUGH
0:33:25 > 0:33:26- You're very welcome.- Thank you.
0:33:26 > 0:33:28That's a lovely smell.
0:33:28 > 0:33:32'Granny, known as Ba, is upstairs in her room.'
0:33:32 > 0:33:34Are we disturbing you?
0:33:34 > 0:33:38- No, no.- No. Come in.- Thank you.
0:33:38 > 0:33:40If you just light these.
0:33:40 > 0:33:44Granny Ba offers to give me a blessing.
0:33:44 > 0:33:46BELL RINGS
0:33:49 > 0:33:51THEY RECITE BLESSING
0:34:03 > 0:34:05Thank you.
0:34:05 > 0:34:11Well, we're very interested in your family, your whole extended family.
0:34:11 > 0:34:16The fact that you are the head of the family, as it were,
0:34:16 > 0:34:18and very well respected.
0:34:18 > 0:34:20- And you like it here?- Yeah.
0:34:20 > 0:34:23- Too much.- Too much?
0:34:25 > 0:34:28- I'd say this, you can never be too happy.- Too happy, yeah.
0:34:29 > 0:34:32Ba's been living here for 32 years, ever since her husband died,
0:34:32 > 0:34:36and she has helped to bring up her grandchildren.
0:34:36 > 0:34:40It's dinner time and Ba is always served first.
0:34:40 > 0:34:46Usually, what we do, my daughter and then my wife would give to my mum.
0:34:46 > 0:34:49- So she would be served first. - What a wonderful thing!
0:34:49 > 0:34:51What respect!
0:34:51 > 0:34:53Anyway, bon appetit, I would say.
0:34:53 > 0:34:55No problem. You can have it.
0:34:55 > 0:34:57Bon appetit.
0:34:57 > 0:35:00I think a lot of people go to her for advice as well
0:35:00 > 0:35:04because she is the head of the family.
0:35:04 > 0:35:07It's just that respect. They will ask her advice on what to do.
0:35:07 > 0:35:10I wouldn't ever kind of leave them behind, if that makes sense.
0:35:10 > 0:35:13So, like, for example, I'm guessing when I get older,
0:35:13 > 0:35:15when I get married, I'd like to actually have my own place
0:35:15 > 0:35:17and live with my wife for a little while.
0:35:18 > 0:35:22But if it ever gets down the line where these guys become too old
0:35:22 > 0:35:28and they need a little bit of care, I would happily tell them, "Come and move in with me."
0:35:28 > 0:35:30I would never put them in a care home.
0:35:33 > 0:35:35'Sitting here with the Patel extended family,
0:35:35 > 0:35:40'I really believe this was intended to be the way that we should live.
0:35:44 > 0:35:51'After dinner, I find that Shelpa is a social worker who works with the elderly.'
0:35:51 > 0:35:55You do come across quite a lot of the elderly that are isolated.
0:35:55 > 0:35:57They don't have regular visitors.
0:35:57 > 0:36:01I always think about my grandma in that position and I think,
0:36:01 > 0:36:03"OK. Could I see my grandma like this?"
0:36:03 > 0:36:07So I do make that extra effort to think, "Let's take them out."
0:36:07 > 0:36:12- Bye-bye.- Thanks so much for blessing me.- Ah!- I know it'll work.
0:36:12 > 0:36:15- Have I still got my red dot? - THEY LAUGH
0:36:17 > 0:36:19'Granny Ba's a very lucky woman.
0:36:19 > 0:36:23'As I leave the Patel household, I know this family idyll
0:36:23 > 0:36:28'is much rarer these days and I don't see how we can bring it back.'
0:36:28 > 0:36:31I'm really impressed. I think you're a marvellous family.
0:36:33 > 0:36:35I receive some news from Enda.
0:36:35 > 0:36:39'Looking after her husband, my former co-star John Barden,
0:36:39 > 0:36:42'has been getting a bit too much for her.'
0:36:42 > 0:36:47It's just over five years now since John had his stroke.
0:36:47 > 0:36:52At last, Enda has taken three weeks off.
0:36:52 > 0:36:57'John is in a local nursing home for some temporary respite care
0:36:57 > 0:36:59'so Enda can have the break she needs.'
0:36:59 > 0:37:03- How do you feel, you know, with John being in here?- I really miss him.
0:37:03 > 0:37:05I actually, he's only been in five days
0:37:05 > 0:37:08and I feel as if he's still in the house at night-time.
0:37:08 > 0:37:12I really miss him but I have to have this break.
0:37:12 > 0:37:14I know I have to have this break.
0:37:14 > 0:37:16But it's only for a couple of weeks, so...
0:37:16 > 0:37:19- But I miss him.- Yes.
0:37:19 > 0:37:21Miss the old bird.
0:37:21 > 0:37:24- Are you bored? - No.- Oh, thank you!
0:37:24 > 0:37:26You just listening, yes? Yes?
0:37:26 > 0:37:28Yeah.
0:37:30 > 0:37:32Yeah.
0:37:34 > 0:37:37- I dunno. - THEY LAUGH
0:37:42 > 0:37:45'To me, there's a time to live and a time to die
0:37:45 > 0:37:49'and I don't want to be resuscitated beyond my natural span.
0:37:49 > 0:37:51'How does John feel about being revived back to life,
0:37:51 > 0:37:57'when he is so dependent on his wife and where her independence is utterly restricted?'
0:37:57 > 0:38:01Enda, have you ever talked to John
0:38:01 > 0:38:05about what he feels about being resuscitated?
0:38:05 > 0:38:07John, when we do ask you the question
0:38:07 > 0:38:11that when you became unconscious when you had the stroke,
0:38:11 > 0:38:15do you regret that you weren't taken then?
0:38:15 > 0:38:17What would you have preferred?
0:38:17 > 0:38:22- Would you have preferred not to have come back?- Yeah. No!
0:38:22 > 0:38:25- No?- No.- You're glad that you've come through OK?
0:38:25 > 0:38:28- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah. OK.
0:38:28 > 0:38:30Well, darling, I'll be off now.
0:38:30 > 0:38:33I'm sorry I live so far away.
0:38:33 > 0:38:35See you. Bye, darl.
0:38:42 > 0:38:44Well, I'll see you as soon as I can.
0:38:44 > 0:38:46Thank you.
0:38:51 > 0:38:54It's good that John says he's happy, despite his condition.
0:38:54 > 0:38:57But for myself, I've come to a decision
0:38:57 > 0:39:01about what I want to happen should I ever become incapacitated.
0:39:01 > 0:39:04I would not want to not be able to talk.
0:39:04 > 0:39:09Imagine not being able to talk when you're a talkative person.
0:39:09 > 0:39:15I would not want, at my age, 85, to want to try to learn to walk,
0:39:15 > 0:39:22to be fed, to have my toilet dealt with by somebody else,
0:39:22 > 0:39:25if you understand what I mean.
0:39:42 > 0:39:47This is going to start a trend. It'll all be in the papers.
0:39:52 > 0:39:53"Do not resusicate."
0:39:53 > 0:39:57- It's so nice that you don't think, "How peculiar."- Not at all.
0:39:57 > 0:39:59Not at all. I totally agree with what you're saying.
0:39:59 > 0:40:04- Once your time is here...- No eccentricity there, due to my age.
0:40:04 > 0:40:07- Not at all. Not at all. - There's a lot, I promise you!
0:40:07 > 0:40:10- Thank you very much. - You're more than welcome.
0:40:11 > 0:40:15- What you got there, Mum? - I've had it made.- What does it say?
0:40:15 > 0:40:19- I can't read it without my glasses. - "Do not resuscitate." Oh, right.
0:40:19 > 0:40:21"Do not resuscitate." Oh.
0:40:21 > 0:40:23It's no good having the thing in the drawer
0:40:23 > 0:40:26so you want it with prominence.
0:40:26 > 0:40:29- Cos you've already got the form thing.- Yes.
0:40:29 > 0:40:31But that's no good, it's in the filing cabinet.
0:40:31 > 0:40:33Shall I put it on you?
0:40:33 > 0:40:37If you can, if you've got delicate enough fingers cos I'm finding it rather difficult.
0:40:37 > 0:40:40- It's more if you can see. - Exactly, that's the problem.
0:40:40 > 0:40:45- All right. We won't go into that. - Shall I get some glasses?- No.- Lovely!
0:40:45 > 0:40:49- It should be diamond encrusted! - It looks like an animal's ID.
0:40:49 > 0:40:53- What do you mean it looks like an animal?- A dog tag.- Oh.
0:40:53 > 0:40:56You could have it tattooed on the back of your neck.
0:40:56 > 0:40:58- I don't fancy a tattoo. - Or on your heart.
0:40:58 > 0:41:00THEY LAUGH
0:41:00 > 0:41:04"Do not resuscitate." Oh, OK.
0:41:04 > 0:41:07When you reach the ripe old age that Mother has,
0:41:07 > 0:41:10you get to a stage of life where you probably think,
0:41:10 > 0:41:15"Actually, if I have a stroke or a heart attack,
0:41:15 > 0:41:20"I might be severely disabled afterwards and not want to go on."
0:41:20 > 0:41:23PRODUCER: I think you two are trying very hard to let your mother go.
0:41:23 > 0:41:26- Yes. Yes, we would. Yeah. - I'm not sure you're capable.
0:41:26 > 0:41:30- One doesn't know until one's in that situation.- You never know.
0:41:30 > 0:41:32We are aware that she has always, always said,
0:41:32 > 0:41:35"I don't want to be dependent. I don't want to be resuscitated."
0:41:35 > 0:41:38She's said that for as long as I can remember.
0:41:38 > 0:41:42- Have you got a dictionary? - Is it spelt wrong?- I dunno.
0:41:42 > 0:41:45- Have you got a dictionary?- Could be. Let's look it up on the iPhone.
0:41:45 > 0:41:49- Well, I didn't check it. Has it got too many Ss?- Sus...
0:41:50 > 0:41:53It's got a C instead of a T!
0:41:53 > 0:41:57- Oh!- Resusicate! Resusicate. - Resusicate.
0:41:57 > 0:42:00They might think that means, don't let die!
0:42:00 > 0:42:05- They might think you're not able to spell!- Well yes, I didn't check it.
0:42:05 > 0:42:07It is spelt wrongly.
0:42:07 > 0:42:10- So it says, "Do not rusticate." - THEY LAUGH
0:42:10 > 0:42:14- That's quite amusing.- Now we've got a dilemma.- It's quite amusing!
0:42:14 > 0:42:16SHE LAUGHS
0:42:16 > 0:42:19'I've reached a decision about my own future.
0:42:19 > 0:42:22'I'm also starting to come to conclusions about how
0:42:22 > 0:42:25'we could improve the way we treat older people in this country.
0:42:25 > 0:42:30'I think that maybe children growing up with their grandparents
0:42:30 > 0:42:34'could be part of the solution to making a more caring society.'
0:42:34 > 0:42:39That way you would learn to have a sympathy,
0:42:39 > 0:42:41a rapport with older people.
0:42:41 > 0:42:44You don't think they're a load of old rubbish, you know.
0:42:44 > 0:42:46You don't think they're past their sell-by date
0:42:46 > 0:42:50and you don't wonder why they're occupying space on the earth.
0:42:50 > 0:42:54You, you, they are part of your life.
0:42:58 > 0:43:02The problem is, one in five children have no contact with
0:43:02 > 0:43:07their grandparents and many children hardly see older people at all.
0:43:07 > 0:43:11There are some people who are trying to fill the gap by bringing
0:43:11 > 0:43:14the young and old together more.
0:43:14 > 0:43:17A parent of two young children called Angela has come up
0:43:17 > 0:43:21with an extraordinary idea called Aggie's Grannies.
0:43:21 > 0:43:25Young children are taken to care homes to play with older residents.
0:43:27 > 0:43:29He likes it, doesn't he?
0:43:32 > 0:43:35- Hello. - THEY LAUGH
0:43:38 > 0:43:40Why did this idea come to you?
0:43:41 > 0:43:44Because my children,
0:43:44 > 0:43:47they've got some grandparents here but all my family are in Australia.
0:43:47 > 0:43:51I felt it was sad that they had no contact with elderly people
0:43:51 > 0:43:54so I thought I'd start volunteering in an old people's home
0:43:54 > 0:43:59and I would take my children in and they just loved it.
0:43:59 > 0:44:01They loved it and so did the residents of the home.
0:44:01 > 0:44:05And so I thought that I should just do it with other children.
0:44:05 > 0:44:10I would like to know if you think that this scheme will help
0:44:10 > 0:44:13children to relate to older people.
0:44:13 > 0:44:17Since taking my little girl, Evelyn, who is four now,
0:44:17 > 0:44:19into care homes and nursing homes,
0:44:19 > 0:44:21because when we've been walking up the street
0:44:21 > 0:44:24and Evelyn saw an elderly gentleman get in a taxi and she said,
0:44:24 > 0:44:27"Mum, we have to look after the old people, don't we?"
0:44:27 > 0:44:31And I know that's because she has old people in her life now.
0:44:31 > 0:44:33This is a solution.
0:44:33 > 0:44:36- Now, we haven't found anything really.- Any solution... I know.
0:44:36 > 0:44:40This is why I feel so strongly about it because it is a solution
0:44:40 > 0:44:41and if you get them young,
0:44:41 > 0:44:43you get them when they love attention.
0:44:43 > 0:44:46And then you get them used to being around elderly people
0:44:46 > 0:44:50then they accept them like they did before, you know, in generations before.
0:44:50 > 0:44:53It starts here and it goes on through school
0:44:53 > 0:44:58and the community is in the care home, not separate and segregated.
0:45:03 > 0:45:08- Do you enjoy this?- I do.- It's different, isn't it?- That's right.
0:45:08 > 0:45:11You get some contact with young people.
0:45:15 > 0:45:17- He's very fond of you!- He is.
0:45:17 > 0:45:21- What do you think of this scheme? - Nice.
0:45:21 > 0:45:23- Very nice.- Do you?
0:45:33 > 0:45:38'It's nearly the end of my journey so I call my family together to tell
0:45:38 > 0:45:43'them what I've learnt on the way and what conclusions I've come to.
0:45:45 > 0:45:47'My granddaughter Katie is there.'
0:45:47 > 0:45:51How do you feel having grandparents has affected you?
0:45:51 > 0:45:55Do you know what effect it's had on your life?
0:45:55 > 0:45:58I feel I respect my grandparents just because of the way Mum
0:45:58 > 0:46:00and Dad brought me up and how we see you often.
0:46:00 > 0:46:04'I tell them about the scheme Aggie's Grannies.'
0:46:04 > 0:46:09The last place I visited was a care home
0:46:09 > 0:46:13and there was a group of old ladies and gentlemen sitting outside
0:46:13 > 0:46:17with very small children and they all looked very happy.
0:46:17 > 0:46:19You know, the old people were smiling.
0:46:19 > 0:46:23They weren't looking like that with no life in their faces.
0:46:23 > 0:46:25You know, they were alight and they were smiling
0:46:25 > 0:46:29because there was youth there, something to enjoy.
0:46:29 > 0:46:34So how would this make an impact? Why would this make a difference?
0:46:34 > 0:46:39Well, because from birth, well not quite birth, from young,
0:46:39 > 0:46:43young childhood, they would be used to older people.
0:46:43 > 0:46:48They wouldn't see them, I think you mentioned the word "aliens", as aliens.
0:46:48 > 0:46:53They would see them as these rather pleasant people who are quite interesting.
0:46:53 > 0:46:57'If we could roll out schemes like this then maybe,
0:46:57 > 0:46:59'just maybe,
0:46:59 > 0:47:03'the next generation will be able to develop the same respect
0:47:03 > 0:47:09'for their elders that I gained when I was growing up.'
0:47:32 > 0:47:35Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd