0:00:13 > 0:00:15Hilary Lister is quadriplegic.
0:00:17 > 0:00:19She's paralysed from the neck down.
0:00:23 > 0:00:26Just imagine being wrapped up like a mummy,
0:00:26 > 0:00:28so that you can't use your arms and legs,
0:00:28 > 0:00:30and all that's free is your head,
0:00:30 > 0:00:33and you have to sail a boat,
0:00:33 > 0:00:34unable to move.
0:00:37 > 0:00:38How remarkable is that?
0:00:40 > 0:00:42It's freedom.
0:00:42 > 0:00:43It's me alive.
0:00:43 > 0:00:47It's just one wave at a time, really.
0:00:47 > 0:00:49Where are the wind's coming from?
0:00:49 > 0:00:50Are my sails set right?
0:00:53 > 0:00:55I'm talking about being independent in my life,
0:00:55 > 0:00:59and that's something that is new, completely new.
0:01:01 > 0:01:02In her greatest challenge yet,
0:01:02 > 0:01:05she is sailing around the coast of Britain,
0:01:05 > 0:01:07a journey of 3,000 miles.
0:01:10 > 0:01:13But will the elements be for or against her?
0:01:23 > 0:01:25Ready for this?
0:01:28 > 0:01:30It's 3am.
0:01:32 > 0:01:37Hilary's around-Britain journey starts from her home in Kent.
0:01:37 > 0:01:39Do you want me to come down with you?
0:01:39 > 0:01:41We should be all right, I think.
0:01:41 > 0:01:42- OK.- Follow the convoy.
0:01:45 > 0:01:49From Dover, she will travel over land the 300 miles to Plymouth,
0:01:49 > 0:01:51where her voyage will start.
0:01:57 > 0:01:59Hilary is continuing on
0:01:59 > 0:02:01from her first attempt to sail around Britain.
0:02:04 > 0:02:08In 2008, she got as far as Newlyn in Cornwall,
0:02:08 > 0:02:10before bad weather beat her.
0:02:12 > 0:02:15Round Britain is a huge challenge,
0:02:15 > 0:02:17it's a big enough challenge for someone able-bodied,
0:02:17 > 0:02:20in a full-sized yacht.
0:02:20 > 0:02:24To do it with Hilary's level of disability,
0:02:24 > 0:02:27I think of it rather like Chichester going round the globe
0:02:27 > 0:02:29for the first time.
0:02:29 > 0:02:30Do we need...
0:02:30 > 0:02:33Hilary's disease has progressed to the point
0:02:33 > 0:02:37where her head is the only part of her body she can move.
0:02:37 > 0:02:40My arm's going to go. Just let it go.
0:02:40 > 0:02:46As a result of this syndrome, the muscles, the skin, and the bones
0:02:46 > 0:02:49all have chronic changes,
0:02:49 > 0:02:53which ultimately leads to a functionless limb,
0:02:53 > 0:02:57a paralysed limb where the muscles waste away, the skin changes,
0:02:57 > 0:03:02and in some severe cases, the limb needs to be amputated.
0:03:02 > 0:03:05It's one of the most horrific things
0:03:05 > 0:03:07that you could imagine happening to anybody.
0:03:07 > 0:03:11How could anybody imagine what it's like to suffer intense,
0:03:11 > 0:03:17intractable pain, constantly, every waking moment of your life?
0:03:17 > 0:03:21She's lived with this condition for more than half of her life.
0:03:21 > 0:03:23If she doesn't do it now,
0:03:23 > 0:03:28she might not be able to do it next week, let alone, next year.
0:03:28 > 0:03:33It takes seven people for Hilary to go solo sailing.
0:03:33 > 0:03:35One of them is Hilary, the rest are the support crew.
0:03:37 > 0:03:40Each team member has been hand-picked by Hilary.
0:03:41 > 0:03:43Toby...
0:03:43 > 0:03:44Huw...
0:03:44 > 0:03:47and Simon who crew the rescue boat.
0:03:47 > 0:03:48Her carer, Jo,
0:03:48 > 0:03:50Terry, the cook and driver...
0:03:50 > 0:03:52What am I doing?
0:03:52 > 0:03:53..and Paul, the team organiser.
0:03:53 > 0:03:56I don't understand why it's easy, really easy,
0:03:56 > 0:03:58to move a boat in water, and yet I have to keep moving it
0:03:58 > 0:04:00in this Landrover.
0:04:04 > 0:04:06Um, just to make sure you've spotted us,
0:04:06 > 0:04:09we are off your starboard bow, over.
0:04:11 > 0:04:16The danger is Hilary is physically very vulnerable.
0:04:16 > 0:04:19We've done what we can,
0:04:19 > 0:04:23to mitigate that, but you can never take it away.
0:04:24 > 0:04:27So, were Hilary to go in the water,
0:04:27 > 0:04:29we've practised getting her out of the water,
0:04:29 > 0:04:32but there's no guarantee that we would be able to do that.
0:04:35 > 0:04:39My project manager is worried that I'm going to choke
0:04:39 > 0:04:40and die on the water.
0:04:40 > 0:04:43That's his biggest fear.
0:04:43 > 0:04:47- (RADIO)- 'Inshore waters forecast issued by the Met Office...
0:04:47 > 0:04:50'The outlook for the following 24 hours...'
0:04:50 > 0:04:54I have a negative role in this project.
0:04:54 > 0:04:58She assumes that she's going to go sailing and I say, "No."
0:04:58 > 0:05:02I think it would not be a safe idea to sail today.
0:05:02 > 0:05:04I thought that it would be a no.
0:05:05 > 0:05:09Hilary is petite, blond and vulnerable.
0:05:09 > 0:05:12You can ask her, "How are you feeling?"
0:05:12 > 0:05:14and she'll always say, "OK."
0:05:14 > 0:05:18You have to start guessing at what she's really feeling.
0:05:18 > 0:05:20Try to read the signs.
0:05:22 > 0:05:26I pass out at home, on my own,
0:05:26 > 0:05:28on the sofa,
0:05:28 > 0:05:30twice a day.
0:05:30 > 0:05:33If it's going to happen anywhere,
0:05:33 > 0:05:39I hope I'm not sitting on the sofa thinking, I wish I'd tried this.
0:05:42 > 0:05:48It's not about proving I'm better than anyone else,
0:05:48 > 0:05:54it's just about proving it's possible. This is my dream.
0:05:54 > 0:05:57She's a bit mad. Erm, it's got to be said!
0:05:57 > 0:06:00- Mwah, have a good trip. - See you later.
0:06:00 > 0:06:03- Have fun.- I'm missing you already. - Missing you more.- Don't drop me.
0:06:03 > 0:06:04Don't say that!
0:06:04 > 0:06:07The first time she was going out, there she was getting all like,
0:06:07 > 0:06:09"I want to go, I want to go",
0:06:09 > 0:06:11and getting all sort of stressed about it, and, um,
0:06:11 > 0:06:14when she came back, that's right, when she came back,
0:06:14 > 0:06:16she just had this massive grin on her face and I was like,
0:06:16 > 0:06:18"Oh, that's what it's all about!"
0:06:18 > 0:06:21When Hilary was first introduced to sailing,
0:06:21 > 0:06:25she'd already been paralysed for ten years.
0:06:25 > 0:06:29A friend took me out on a lake, in a garden chair,
0:06:29 > 0:06:32strapped to the middle of a wayfarer,
0:06:32 > 0:06:38with a plank under my legs and another plank down my back
0:06:38 > 0:06:42and some duct tape round my head, to hold it in place,
0:06:42 > 0:06:47and I'd been on the water 30 seconds.
0:06:47 > 0:06:50I just fell in love, it's that simple.
0:06:50 > 0:06:55Me Too, Me Too, you're just approaching the sand bar now, over.
0:06:55 > 0:06:59When I see Hilary about to sail, or when she's sailed,
0:06:59 > 0:07:05the difference in her, from that, from her normal, day-to-day life,
0:07:05 > 0:07:08it's just amazing to see how excited she is
0:07:08 > 0:07:11when she's about to get on the water, or when she's on the water,
0:07:11 > 0:07:15and that does it for me.
0:07:23 > 0:07:25Hilary is the sort of person that
0:07:25 > 0:07:28once you meet her, you get drawn into her little world.
0:07:28 > 0:07:30A little bit quicker on the safety.
0:07:30 > 0:07:33I've never met anybody quite like her.
0:07:33 > 0:07:36She's fascinating, she's determined, she's driven,
0:07:36 > 0:07:40and I thought, yeah, I'd really like to be a part of that.
0:07:40 > 0:07:43And it's turning out to be an adventure.
0:07:43 > 0:07:45I've never known anybody,
0:07:45 > 0:07:47in my entire life,
0:07:47 > 0:07:49that has passed out and gasped for oxygen
0:07:49 > 0:07:52and then apologised for it afterwards.
0:07:54 > 0:07:56Plymouth, May 21st.
0:07:56 > 0:08:01At 4:30am, Hilary sets out on the first leg of her journey.
0:08:09 > 0:08:12In the 12 months since her previous round-Britain attempt,
0:08:12 > 0:08:15her health has deteriorated further.
0:08:18 > 0:08:20I've run down over the winter.
0:08:21 > 0:08:26The disease seems to come in sudden crashes,
0:08:26 > 0:08:29then I bounce back a bit.
0:08:29 > 0:08:33Sub, sub... Just in the middle of systems check. Out.
0:08:33 > 0:08:38Hilary's ability to sail is utterly dependent on technology.
0:08:38 > 0:08:41In front of me, I've got a map, a chart,
0:08:41 > 0:08:45which tells me where the boat is, where I've been, where I'm going.
0:08:45 > 0:08:49It tells me how deep the water is, all that sort of stuff,
0:08:49 > 0:08:50what I need to avoid.
0:08:50 > 0:08:54And I've also got an electronic compass,
0:08:54 > 0:09:00and both of those are operated by, um, these three straws here,
0:09:00 > 0:09:02really, and by a series of motors.
0:09:02 > 0:09:07So, if I want to go to port, which is left,
0:09:07 > 0:09:09I just puff on this straw,
0:09:13 > 0:09:15And if I want to go to starboard, which is right,
0:09:15 > 0:09:17I'll go...
0:09:17 > 0:09:19and suck on the same straw.
0:09:21 > 0:09:25This straw here, this works the winches,
0:09:25 > 0:09:29so I can puff to let the sails out...
0:09:31 > 0:09:34..and sip to pull them in. Easy!
0:09:35 > 0:09:38And then this one is a kind of a menu system.
0:09:38 > 0:09:42I can do things like blow once,
0:09:42 > 0:09:45to change the angle of the head sail to the main,
0:09:45 > 0:09:48I can blow again...
0:09:50 > 0:09:52..I can lift the boom up and down,
0:09:52 > 0:09:54I can even go into auto-pilot,
0:09:54 > 0:09:57so I can get something to eat, and generally relax.
0:10:00 > 0:10:03- This is it, then.- This is it. - Right, it's loose, the springs.
0:10:03 > 0:10:05We're off. At last.
0:10:30 > 0:10:32Hilary is one of four children.
0:10:34 > 0:10:35As she grew up,
0:10:35 > 0:10:39there were no signs of the disease that would take over her life.
0:10:39 > 0:10:44She was an active girl and had a strong interest in music.
0:10:45 > 0:10:51At school, she was captain of the netball and hockey teams.
0:10:51 > 0:10:55But by the age of 15, she was unable to walk.
0:10:55 > 0:10:58It's been heart-breaking, watching this illness take hold of her,
0:10:58 > 0:11:03and wonderful that she can do what she's doing now.
0:11:03 > 0:11:06(RADIO) 'Sub, sub, sub... this is Me Too, Me Too, over.'
0:11:06 > 0:11:09She was a very interesting child. Very determined.
0:11:09 > 0:11:13We were quite hard-up at the time, and I just had three eggs,
0:11:13 > 0:11:17and I wanted to put two in a cake, and to keep one for something else.
0:11:17 > 0:11:19So she was standing by the side of me,
0:11:19 > 0:11:21helping make the cake and she got the book,
0:11:21 > 0:11:25and she could just recognise the numbers, you know, so I said,
0:11:25 > 0:11:28"Right, Hilary, we're making this cake, and these are the ingredients,"
0:11:28 > 0:11:30and I said, "Here are the eggs," and she said,
0:11:30 > 0:11:33"It says three eggs here, mummy", and I said, "I know,
0:11:33 > 0:11:34"but we're going to put two in
0:11:34 > 0:11:37"because I want the third one for tea," so she said,
0:11:37 > 0:11:40"But, mummy, it says three eggs" and I said, "Well, Hilary,
0:11:40 > 0:11:43"take it from me, we're only going to put two in."
0:11:43 > 0:11:47Then somebody rang the door bell so I went to the door,
0:11:47 > 0:11:50when I came back, she said, "I've put in three, mummy",
0:11:50 > 0:11:52so she was very determined!
0:11:52 > 0:11:56She went on to Oxford, where she studied biochemistry.
0:11:56 > 0:11:59She took her finals flat on her back on a morphine drip,
0:11:59 > 0:12:02and was awarded an upper-second degree.
0:12:02 > 0:12:06# Panis angelicus... #
0:12:06 > 0:12:09Her husband, Clifford, is a singing teacher.
0:12:09 > 0:12:12# Panis habenum... #
0:12:15 > 0:12:19Hilary played the clarinet, and they met through music.
0:12:22 > 0:12:26They remained friends for many years and were married in 1999.
0:12:26 > 0:12:29I didn't know her when she could walk.
0:12:29 > 0:12:32I fell in love with her when she was paraplegic,
0:12:32 > 0:12:36and she was full of zest and life and ambition, and, actually,
0:12:36 > 0:12:40the wheelchair seemed to have relatively little significance.
0:12:43 > 0:12:47Hilary's illness may not have seemed important to Clifford,
0:12:47 > 0:12:50but as it spread, it eventually stopped her playing the clarinet.
0:12:50 > 0:12:57That is the only thing, almost, I curse and swear about,
0:12:57 > 0:13:01is the fact I can't pick up my clarinet...
0:13:02 > 0:13:06..and just let it all out.
0:13:06 > 0:13:10When I got mad, that's where I went,
0:13:10 > 0:13:14and when I was happy, it's where I went as well.
0:13:14 > 0:13:15I miss it terribly.
0:13:16 > 0:13:18I can't listen
0:13:18 > 0:13:21to clarinet music, still.
0:13:51 > 0:13:52May 24th,
0:13:52 > 0:13:54and Hilary reaches Newlyn,
0:13:54 > 0:13:58cold, tired, but in good spirits.
0:13:58 > 0:14:01Bloody hell, I weigh a lot more after a sail!
0:14:01 > 0:14:04Weird forms of sea life we have seen today.
0:14:04 > 0:14:09Porpoises, a turtle, loads and loads of little, tiny, weeny polyps.
0:14:09 > 0:14:12I don't know what they are but there are tens of thousands of them,
0:14:12 > 0:14:16just in there, everywhere.
0:14:16 > 0:14:19Something is spawning, but I don't know what.
0:14:19 > 0:14:22Anyway, right, it's cold,
0:14:22 > 0:14:26it's two in the morning or something. And let's go to bed!
0:14:41 > 0:14:43Casting off? Bye!
0:15:09 > 0:15:13I had a big mental block about Lands End.
0:15:13 > 0:15:17I viewed it as a very difficult sail, approached it very cautiously.
0:15:17 > 0:15:20We actually got round Lands End quite nicely.
0:15:20 > 0:15:25We got the push of the tide, up to as far as Newquay.
0:15:45 > 0:15:48The journey continues to go well.
0:15:48 > 0:15:51On June 1st, Hilary arrives at Bude,
0:15:51 > 0:15:55where she's met by the Mayor as well as the local Lions Club.
0:15:55 > 0:15:56Keep going. Keep smiling.
0:15:56 > 0:16:00- You've finally found...- Can we get the dog to smile, as well?
0:16:00 > 0:16:04She's obviously making absolutely the most that she could
0:16:04 > 0:16:09possibly make out of her life, but it must be a terrible
0:16:09 > 0:16:12existence for anybody to live within those confines.
0:16:13 > 0:16:16Sometimes, the pain's bad, the breathing's bad,
0:16:16 > 0:16:19it's about counting to ten.
0:16:19 > 0:16:23OK, we did that, you can count to ten again, you know,
0:16:23 > 0:16:30that's two tens I've made it through, the next ten might be better.
0:16:31 > 0:16:35I pray for good days on the water, a day at a time.
0:16:38 > 0:16:41There's no point thinking, "What if?"
0:16:41 > 0:16:46Because I may never have got in a sailing boat without my disability.
0:16:50 > 0:16:55On June 2nd, Hilary sets out across the Bristol Channel for Wales.
0:16:55 > 0:17:02We're off to Milford Haven, some 65, 66 miles.
0:17:02 > 0:17:04It's a long way.
0:17:04 > 0:17:10It's, I think, our longest sail, so I'm just praying we get some wind.
0:17:10 > 0:17:13This is one of the longest legs of her journey,
0:17:13 > 0:17:15and things start badly.
0:17:15 > 0:17:17As she leaves the harbour, she hits a sandbank.
0:17:26 > 0:17:29It's a pretty big jolt.
0:17:29 > 0:17:33Feels like you're losing half your boat.
0:17:33 > 0:17:40Toby jumped on, pulled the keel up, the boys did a great job.
0:17:48 > 0:17:53We then spent 20 minutes sailing up and down in front of Bude,
0:17:53 > 0:17:56just to make sure everything was OK.
0:17:59 > 0:18:03After the difficult start, Hilary finally makes it out to sea.
0:18:05 > 0:18:07The weather turns against her.
0:18:07 > 0:18:10The wind got weaker and weaker
0:18:10 > 0:18:14and then died about seven miles off Lundy.
0:18:14 > 0:18:18So, we ended up having to tow me across the Bristol Channel,
0:18:18 > 0:18:21which was infuriating.
0:18:24 > 0:18:28As they approach Milford Haven, the traffic gets busy.
0:18:28 > 0:18:31Compared to the Arte, even the smallest boats
0:18:31 > 0:18:33look like floating cities.
0:18:36 > 0:18:40With no wind, there's little choice but to tow her into harbour.
0:18:40 > 0:18:46We ended up at Pembroke Dock, which was not ideal,
0:18:46 > 0:18:48because there was no water
0:18:48 > 0:18:52and no power, and no showers, for me, anyway.
0:19:02 > 0:19:05Waiting for her is Lottie.
0:19:05 > 0:19:09When Hilary's at home, Lottie plays a vital role in keeping her alive.
0:19:11 > 0:19:15Lottie's pretty good at licking my face and bringing me round.
0:19:15 > 0:19:18It's not really what you want, a Labrador all over you,
0:19:18 > 0:19:20but it kind of works.
0:19:20 > 0:19:23Lottie likes to get in on the act whenever she can.
0:19:23 > 0:19:27So, Hilary, we're in Pembrokeshire, where are you going to next?
0:19:27 > 0:19:32Lottie, will you stop it? We'll do that again.
0:19:32 > 0:19:35Hello, Lottie dog. Fancy seeing you here at lunch time.
0:19:36 > 0:19:37Lottie.
0:19:40 > 0:19:41Lottie.
0:19:43 > 0:19:44Lottie.
0:19:47 > 0:19:49Right, Lands End to St David's Head,
0:19:49 > 0:19:53variable two or three becoming northerly or north-westerly.
0:19:53 > 0:19:56As the journey continues, the weather changes dramatically.
0:19:56 > 0:19:59Occasionally six in far-west for a time.
0:19:59 > 0:20:06That's quite worrying, because there's no shelter at all.
0:20:06 > 0:20:07I'm kind of uneasy.
0:20:25 > 0:20:28As darkness falls, the wind picks up,
0:20:28 > 0:20:30and all Hilary's control systems fail.
0:20:35 > 0:20:37Radio communication is difficult,
0:20:37 > 0:20:39but she manages to contact the coastguard for help.
0:20:41 > 0:20:43Eventually, a lifeboat arrives.
0:20:46 > 0:20:48Using a ferry as a windbreak, the team re-group.
0:20:50 > 0:20:54Hilary is towed into harbour before being transferred
0:20:54 > 0:20:56to the inshore lifeboat and carried ashore.
0:20:56 > 0:21:00There's an ambulance on stand-by because we're a little concerned
0:21:00 > 0:21:03that Hilary's got very wet and cold today in difficult conditions.
0:21:08 > 0:21:11Hilary is given mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.
0:21:14 > 0:21:16We didn't know where Hilary was or what was going on,
0:21:16 > 0:21:18and the look of the faces
0:21:18 > 0:21:21of the people in the lifeboat station worried me.
0:21:22 > 0:21:24I made a really fundamental error.
0:21:27 > 0:21:29That's all there is to it.
0:21:31 > 0:21:35We got, uh, just short of Stumble Point,
0:21:35 > 0:21:40uh, and the tide turned, we lost the jib.
0:21:40 > 0:21:43Hilary called it, she called for a tow.
0:21:44 > 0:21:48Hilary was in danger, so Huw had jumped aboard from Hilary's
0:21:48 > 0:21:52rescue boat to try and help, risking his own life.
0:21:52 > 0:21:54I was standing behind watching you because
0:21:54 > 0:21:58what I was thinking is, "No comms, you fall off..."
0:21:58 > 0:21:59I know.
0:21:59 > 0:22:00"..goodbye you."
0:22:00 > 0:22:02It was scary.
0:22:02 > 0:22:04By the time they'd reached the harbour,
0:22:04 > 0:22:07both Huw and Hilary had been wet and cold for hours.
0:22:07 > 0:22:09I was fairly far gone with the cold.
0:22:09 > 0:22:12Hilary must have been the same but she can't really feel the cold,
0:22:12 > 0:22:17so I was just using me as a guide for how cold she must be.
0:22:26 > 0:22:28CHEERING
0:22:35 > 0:22:37After resting up for a week,
0:22:37 > 0:22:41on June 13th, Hilary sets out across the Irish Sea for Arklow.
0:22:45 > 0:22:48It's a journey no severely disabled sailor has ever made before.
0:23:01 > 0:23:05Altogether, Hilary will call into five harbours in Ireland.
0:23:06 > 0:23:09It's the longest leg of the journey, but the weather is
0:23:09 > 0:23:13with her and she reaches Arklow four hours ahead of schedule.
0:23:16 > 0:23:18The local Lions Club pipe her in.
0:23:20 > 0:23:23By now, Hilary has been at sea for 24 days,
0:23:23 > 0:23:26and travelled 500 miles.
0:23:30 > 0:23:34Waiting for her is her mother, like Hilary, a biochemist.
0:23:34 > 0:23:36I had to get here, before you had to go.
0:23:38 > 0:23:40I was so worried that you wouldn't.
0:23:40 > 0:23:42I had to get here.
0:23:45 > 0:23:47She won't stop.
0:23:47 > 0:23:49The only thing that will stop her will be the weather,
0:23:49 > 0:23:52something wrong with the boat, or, um, if they run out of money.
0:23:52 > 0:23:55I think she'll make it, or she'll die in the attempt.
0:23:58 > 0:24:01But I'd rather she had a shorter life and actually had these
0:24:01 > 0:24:05experiences, than sat cosseted somewhere and lived to be 100.
0:24:08 > 0:24:11At Wicklow, the local sailing club holds an impromptu concert
0:24:11 > 0:24:13to raise funds for Hilary's trust.
0:24:34 > 0:24:38But Hilary isn't there. She collapsed that afternoon.
0:24:38 > 0:24:40- What's your name? Can you hear me? - Hilary Lister.
0:24:40 > 0:24:42Hilary Lister.
0:24:42 > 0:24:44She's a C3 quadriplegic.
0:24:45 > 0:24:47She has a chest infection.
0:24:47 > 0:24:52We believe she has food, possibly a peanut, in her lungs.
0:24:52 > 0:24:54Her gag reflex.
0:24:55 > 0:24:57Can you hear us, Hilary?
0:24:57 > 0:25:00She has in place a "Do not resuscitate."
0:25:00 > 0:25:02Does she?
0:25:02 > 0:25:06- Her specific request is no cardio vascular.- OK.
0:25:06 > 0:25:09Are you a relation or a friend, or something like that?
0:25:09 > 0:25:12I am her partner and I have a power of attorney.
0:25:12 > 0:25:16Hilary made her decision not to be resuscitated four years earlier,
0:25:16 > 0:25:20shared with her husband, Clifford, and her surgeon, Chris Chandler.
0:25:20 > 0:25:22I would like a "Do not resuscitate," please.
0:25:23 > 0:25:25- OK.- Thank you.
0:25:26 > 0:25:29What...if what happens?
0:25:29 > 0:25:32If I stop breathing, it's just my body saying, "Had enough, mate."
0:25:32 > 0:25:38She doesn't want the emergency surgery, that sort of thing.
0:25:38 > 0:25:43She has lived with this more than half of her life,
0:25:43 > 0:25:48and her opinion is that if her body decides it's time to stop,
0:25:48 > 0:25:50then it's time to stop.
0:25:50 > 0:25:52I'd just like to welcome everyone here tonight
0:25:52 > 0:25:56to our fundraising event for Hilary Lister.
0:25:56 > 0:26:01Unfortunately, Hilary has been taken ill and is in hospital.
0:26:01 > 0:26:04We're informed that the ambulance driver was happy with her condition
0:26:04 > 0:26:07when she arrived, so we're fingers crossed all will be well with her.
0:26:07 > 0:26:10APPLAUSE
0:26:18 > 0:26:21I don't know how much my body can take,
0:26:21 > 0:26:26but what I do know is I'm not going to let it beat me without a fight.
0:26:26 > 0:26:30RADIO: The Morning Show on East Coast FM, with Declan Meehan.
0:26:30 > 0:26:34# East Coast FM! #
0:26:34 > 0:26:38'English sailor Hilary Lister has stopped off at Wicklow on her
0:26:38 > 0:26:40'solo voyage around Britain and Ireland.'
0:26:40 > 0:26:45Hilary has pneumonia, but she is discharged from hospital.
0:26:45 > 0:26:46'Now, Hilary is not too well at the moment,
0:26:46 > 0:26:50'and she'll be with us a few days before she sets off to Howth,
0:26:50 > 0:26:53'and we want to wish her all the very best.'
0:26:53 > 0:26:56# East Coast FM! #
0:26:56 > 0:27:00Two weeks and three sails later, the local GP comes to check on her.
0:27:00 > 0:27:04Right, well, you're a bit of a complicated case.
0:27:04 > 0:27:06But without a fresh X-ray to compare with,
0:27:06 > 0:27:11he is unsure how effective her treatment in hospital has been.
0:27:11 > 0:27:16It's very hard to be absolutely 100% sure as to how you've responded.
0:27:16 > 0:27:19Prepping up the pills for the day's sail.
0:27:19 > 0:27:23Four bottles - breakfast, lunch, tea and night-time.
0:27:23 > 0:27:28Every day, her carer, Jo, prepares a vast array of drugs that help
0:27:28 > 0:27:30to control the continuous,
0:27:30 > 0:27:34excruciating pain that is the reality of Hilary's life.
0:27:34 > 0:27:37She takes an enormous quantity of morphine
0:27:37 > 0:27:40and all these other drugs,
0:27:40 > 0:27:43and sometimes she has felt depressed,
0:27:43 > 0:27:45but I didn't actually know that she was depressed
0:27:45 > 0:27:48until I think I read it on a doctor's report.
0:27:48 > 0:27:53Because she doesn't want me always to know how low she's feeling.
0:27:53 > 0:27:58There have been times where she would gladly have taken too
0:27:58 > 0:28:01many tablets and not woken up.'
0:28:01 > 0:28:03People come in and say, "Oh, isn't it lovely?
0:28:03 > 0:28:06"You're so lucky to live in such a nice place." But, actually, when
0:28:06 > 0:28:11you're stuck in that place and can't move until the next carer comes,
0:28:11 > 0:28:15you are a prisoner, in however beautiful a place it is.
0:28:15 > 0:28:19And she has felt, because she can't overdose
0:28:19 > 0:28:23and therefore commit suicide, that she's a real prisoner.
0:28:23 > 0:28:29So, I stockpiled some morphine and sleeping pills,
0:28:29 > 0:28:34and a mixture of muscle relaxants, things I knew would help.
0:28:36 > 0:28:38And I...
0:28:40 > 0:28:43..got ready to say goodbye to people.
0:28:48 > 0:28:50Hilary's illness has brought her close to death
0:28:50 > 0:28:52on more than one occasion.
0:28:52 > 0:28:56I've had that feeling where you start to leave your body, your brain
0:28:56 > 0:29:01is shutting down, all panic goes, and if you're aware of anything,
0:29:01 > 0:29:06you're aware of the fact that you're no longer attached to your body.
0:29:07 > 0:29:12I had a close call in college and, erm...
0:29:15 > 0:29:18..I entered this place that was dark,
0:29:18 > 0:29:23but also the brightest dark I could imagine.
0:29:23 > 0:29:26And I felt...surrounded.
0:29:26 > 0:29:31Well, I would describe it as God, by God, completely in love.
0:29:31 > 0:29:36You know, it was safe and warm, and...
0:29:38 > 0:29:41..it was the right place to be.
0:29:42 > 0:29:46I guess that sailing came along just in time, really.
0:29:46 > 0:29:51Having the wind, and spray from the waves, and generally living
0:29:51 > 0:29:56the life I would have chosen to live, had I not been quadriplegic.
0:30:01 > 0:30:06Her husband, Clifford, supports Hilary's new-found love of sailing.
0:30:06 > 0:30:11I've got to the stage in life where I think she deserves this chance.
0:30:11 > 0:30:14She would be so unhappy if she couldn't sail,
0:30:14 > 0:30:17and she's had enough misery in her life.
0:30:17 > 0:30:21Anything to do with sailing, I say, "Go and do it, you must do it."
0:30:21 > 0:30:24Why should I clip her wings?
0:30:24 > 0:30:27My life has gone off on a tangent
0:30:27 > 0:30:32neither of us could have foreseen, and...
0:30:34 > 0:30:36..sailing has taken over.
0:30:40 > 0:30:46I don't have my music now, and, so...
0:30:48 > 0:30:50..I have to have something else.
0:30:50 > 0:30:57And it's incredibly important and he understands that,
0:30:57 > 0:31:01and that makes him a remarkable man.
0:31:06 > 0:31:10There are now two men vital to Hilary's life -
0:31:10 > 0:31:13her husband, Clifford, and project leader, Toby May.
0:31:14 > 0:31:16What does he feel for Hilary?
0:31:17 > 0:31:19I can't answer that question.
0:31:26 > 0:31:30- Hold your course. - Hold the course for the moment.
0:31:30 > 0:31:32Don't get too far ahead of her.
0:31:35 > 0:31:39I love him very much, and I fear for him, because actually
0:31:39 > 0:31:43waking up with someone who has died in the night, or worse,
0:31:43 > 0:31:46died on the water, is horrific.
0:31:46 > 0:31:50But the alternative is to let me rot.
0:31:59 > 0:32:05Each time the team sets sail, Toby carries a huge responsibility.
0:32:05 > 0:32:08He always blames himself first.
0:32:08 > 0:32:14But any of my friends, my team, any of my family,
0:32:14 > 0:32:20would feel that they hadn't done enough,
0:32:20 > 0:32:22or they should've stopped me.
0:32:26 > 0:32:31But the reality is, they can't.
0:32:31 > 0:32:32It's my life.
0:32:33 > 0:32:36We will always be good friends.
0:32:36 > 0:32:39I do not feel any animosity,
0:32:39 > 0:32:42any jealousy in what's happening at the moment,
0:32:42 > 0:32:46because I couldn't provide that for her.
0:32:47 > 0:32:52Being in love as a quadriplegic does have its problems, though.
0:32:52 > 0:32:57Not being able to hold somebody,
0:32:57 > 0:33:01when they're holding you,
0:33:01 > 0:33:03that's a hard thing.
0:33:03 > 0:33:04Not being able...
0:33:06 > 0:33:12..to physically feel them holding you is not a problem,
0:33:12 > 0:33:16because you get... The heart feels it.
0:33:16 > 0:33:22But not to be able to give it back is what's hard.
0:33:23 > 0:33:28Not being able to respond to somebody's embrace is very hard.
0:33:30 > 0:33:33She has only, I think, one tiny place on her cheek where
0:33:33 > 0:33:37she has any feeling, and that's very hard.
0:33:37 > 0:33:40Her whole life is... It's just full of pain.
0:33:42 > 0:33:45As they go into Howth, once again Hilary becomes ill,
0:33:45 > 0:33:48creating a dilemma for Toby.
0:33:49 > 0:33:51I don't want to stop you sailing,
0:33:51 > 0:33:56but I think your recovery time and your fitness...
0:33:56 > 0:33:59is starting to prey on my mind.
0:33:59 > 0:34:06But so far, you've not even had to give me two, three breaths.
0:34:06 > 0:34:10If you get another infection in your lungs, we've got a whole scenario
0:34:10 > 0:34:14again, and it's going to be at least as bad, if not worse, next time.
0:34:14 > 0:34:16Gosh, you're an optimist.
0:34:17 > 0:34:21No, I'm a realist. You're not...
0:34:21 > 0:34:24- It's a progressive disease.- I know. - It's not going to get better.
0:34:24 > 0:34:26But you know that...
0:34:28 > 0:34:33..I can be ill and bounce back.
0:34:33 > 0:34:37That's how it works. I get ill and I bounce back.
0:34:38 > 0:34:42Hmm, but you're noticeably slower bouncing back now.
0:34:42 > 0:34:48Ardglass to Portpatrick, which shows, cos it's a sensible distance.
0:34:48 > 0:34:51Despite Hilary's deteriorating health,
0:34:51 > 0:34:54she prepares to cross the Irish Sea to Scotland.
0:34:54 > 0:34:56We are... You are here.
0:34:56 > 0:35:00Problem is, you'll get wet, and your endurance,
0:35:00 > 0:35:04- your ability to actually do the sail, will disappear.- Mm.
0:35:14 > 0:35:17Nothing is going Hilary's way.
0:35:17 > 0:35:20In Scotland, the weather gets worse.
0:35:20 > 0:35:23Then, as they sail up to Troon, there are yet more problems.
0:35:25 > 0:35:29The engine of the rescue boat essential to Hilary's safety breaks down.
0:35:31 > 0:35:35And it will cost some £8,000 to repair or replace.
0:35:35 > 0:35:41How big a job is it to take the engine out of the boat?
0:35:42 > 0:35:47The boat doesn't necessarily have to come out of the water to take the engine out.
0:35:47 > 0:35:50- Just need a hoist to get her out. It's half a ton, isn't it?- Yeah.
0:35:50 > 0:35:55But Hilary has not been consulted throughout the discussions.
0:35:55 > 0:35:56Thanks for involving me.
0:35:59 > 0:36:01- Sorry.- My rig, my project, my money.
0:36:03 > 0:36:05My work for two years.
0:36:06 > 0:36:10- At least involve me.- OK.
0:36:13 > 0:36:14I'll try and get it sorted out.
0:36:14 > 0:36:17You cannot take the engine out
0:36:17 > 0:36:21and ship it off before you know what's wrong with it.
0:36:21 > 0:36:25It's just bearings. We can fix it on-site, if necessary, ourselves.
0:36:27 > 0:36:30I'm sorry. I'm trying to do my job.
0:36:30 > 0:36:32I'm trying to get this sorted.
0:36:32 > 0:36:38But you can't actually make a decision about anything without me.
0:36:38 > 0:36:40I haven't made a decision about anything.
0:36:42 > 0:36:44I'm trying to find out what we can do.
0:36:44 > 0:36:47Honestly, everyone's pulling out so many stops to try
0:36:47 > 0:36:49and get this done. You're being really negative.
0:36:49 > 0:36:52The guys here are brilliant, they're absolutely fantastic.
0:36:52 > 0:36:54They will do the job without any...
0:36:54 > 0:36:57OK, well, I'll go back to my box.
0:36:57 > 0:37:00- Yeah.- OK, you guys go and carry on sorting.
0:37:00 > 0:37:04I'll go and... I need to do some blogging and stuff.
0:37:07 > 0:37:09- You want to talk to the chap, Toby? - No.
0:37:09 > 0:37:11- Erm, I want to talk to Hilary first. - OK.
0:37:14 > 0:37:16Do you want me to get the number off him?
0:37:17 > 0:37:21- Yeah.- Please, yeah.- Can you give us some space, please?
0:37:23 > 0:37:27Because it's been my baby for such a long time,
0:37:27 > 0:37:30it's very hard to let go
0:37:30 > 0:37:34and let other people make decisions.
0:37:34 > 0:37:39And the hardest part, really, was that I was getting
0:37:39 > 0:37:43fragments of information rather than the whole picture.
0:37:43 > 0:37:45ENGINE CHUGS
0:37:45 > 0:37:48Can you pass on the message that we're going to go with
0:37:48 > 0:37:51the fully marinised engine?
0:37:51 > 0:37:57And if you can you give me a firm price on the part exchange on our existing engine?
0:38:00 > 0:38:01We'll get one sent here.
0:38:01 > 0:38:05Yeah, is he going to give us any exchange for the old one?
0:38:05 > 0:38:08Do you want to talk to Hilary first?
0:38:08 > 0:38:10All right, let's talk to Hilary first.
0:38:11 > 0:38:17Replacing the engine adds a further week's delay to the schedule.
0:38:17 > 0:38:20The forecast last night was distinctly dodgy.
0:38:20 > 0:38:23However, the weather never materialised,
0:38:23 > 0:38:28so we are just chilling out at the beach, really,
0:38:28 > 0:38:31trying to teach Lottie to swim so that she isn't
0:38:31 > 0:38:34the world's most embarrassing Labrador,
0:38:34 > 0:38:37and the only one that doesn't swim.
0:38:39 > 0:38:42# Happy Birthday to you
0:38:42 > 0:38:44# Squashed tomatoes and stew... #
0:38:44 > 0:38:47They are halfway around Britain,
0:38:47 > 0:38:48and it's Toby's birthday.
0:38:48 > 0:38:51..cos they blow.
0:38:51 > 0:38:53- Yay!- Can you do that again, please?
0:38:53 > 0:38:54I wasn't ready with the camera!
0:38:54 > 0:38:56LAUGHTER
0:38:58 > 0:39:01They are now as far from Dover as they ever will be.
0:39:01 > 0:39:05From today, every mile will bring Hilary closer to the world
0:39:05 > 0:39:08she left behind so many weeks ago.
0:39:10 > 0:39:12As they navigate the Caledonian Canal,
0:39:12 > 0:39:15they face the continual problem of lack of
0:39:15 > 0:39:17suitable facilities for Hilary.
0:39:18 > 0:39:21I was promised by the canal authority that they'd be
0:39:21 > 0:39:25able to sort me some places out if I just came along on the day
0:39:25 > 0:39:28that we went, but now I've been told that that's very difficult,
0:39:28 > 0:39:30because of the season
0:39:30 > 0:39:33and because it's so busy, which now leaves me
0:39:33 > 0:39:36searching for campsites or car parks
0:39:36 > 0:39:39or places by locks where we can put the vehicles,
0:39:39 > 0:39:44but obviously ones that have got facilities for Hilary.
0:39:44 > 0:39:47Hilary has been sailing for two months now.
0:39:47 > 0:39:51She's often cold, tired, and wet.
0:39:51 > 0:39:54Life as a disabled person is challenging, full stop.
0:39:54 > 0:39:57Unfortunately, things like loos are not usually
0:39:57 > 0:40:00designed by disabled people,
0:40:00 > 0:40:02or even looked at by people
0:40:02 > 0:40:07in wheelchairs once they've been designed.
0:40:07 > 0:40:10Also, they're designed with every disability in mind,
0:40:10 > 0:40:13which means that they'll never...
0:40:13 > 0:40:15One size never fits all.
0:40:15 > 0:40:17Is it wide enough to lift you round?
0:40:17 > 0:40:19I think so, let's have a look.
0:40:19 > 0:40:22Or would it be better to take you in backwards?
0:40:22 > 0:40:23We'd thought about backwards...
0:40:23 > 0:40:27For her carer, Jo, it's a continual problem.
0:40:27 > 0:40:29We can't do it as we thought we were going to go in, backwards -
0:40:29 > 0:40:31no, forwards.
0:40:31 > 0:40:34Now we have to go in backwards, cos there's just not enough room
0:40:34 > 0:40:38to manoeuvre Hilary, and us, to go into the toilet.
0:40:38 > 0:40:41I've got my trousers down round my knees -
0:40:41 > 0:40:43don't tell anybody -
0:40:43 > 0:40:49but thankfully my sailing gear covers that.
0:40:49 > 0:40:51And we don't know whether we can shut the door on this one.
0:40:51 > 0:40:54We had to get Toby and Paul to carry me in,
0:40:54 > 0:40:59and stick me on the loo, which is not exactly dignified.
0:41:01 > 0:41:03And the doors wouldn't shut,
0:41:03 > 0:41:05so the doors to the whole world
0:41:05 > 0:41:08and the washing up area, were wide open.
0:41:08 > 0:41:11And it meant a night with no power, no water,
0:41:11 > 0:41:14no disabled showers.
0:41:20 > 0:41:21LAUGHTER
0:41:21 > 0:41:22As the weather worsens,
0:41:22 > 0:41:25just keeping dry has become a significant problem.
0:41:25 > 0:41:31We're in the middle of the Caledonian Canal.
0:41:31 > 0:41:35I don't have a single bit of dry clothing
0:41:35 > 0:41:37that I can wear in the boat,
0:41:37 > 0:41:43so it's going to be a pretty unpleasant and soggy ride.
0:41:45 > 0:41:49The weather improves, the wind picks up, but the rescue boat
0:41:49 > 0:41:54falls behind and Hilary has to turn back to let them catch up.
0:41:54 > 0:41:55Going head to wind!
0:41:55 > 0:41:57I need more battery power.
0:41:59 > 0:42:02This is one of Hilary's most exciting sails.
0:42:02 > 0:42:07Do you get extra marks for catching up with the wave ahead of you?
0:42:08 > 0:42:10- TOBY:- Hilary had to go into the wind,
0:42:10 > 0:42:14and she felt the full force of the wind, particularly as it gusted up.
0:42:14 > 0:42:16Hang on! Tacking.
0:42:18 > 0:42:22I think she felt she was close to the edge there.
0:42:27 > 0:42:32The boat is where I'm me, so I'm alive. It's my place.
0:42:32 > 0:42:36It's bizarre for someone who spends such a lot of time
0:42:36 > 0:42:39on their own to want to be alone,
0:42:39 > 0:42:41but it's a different sort of peace.
0:42:43 > 0:42:46But I like the challenge.
0:42:46 > 0:42:49This is about pushing the limits of what's possible,
0:42:49 > 0:42:52but it's also a personal challenge,
0:42:52 > 0:42:57about pushing my sailing ability forwards all the time.
0:43:00 > 0:43:03As they round Scotland's most easterly point, at Peterhead,
0:43:03 > 0:43:07there's a welcome respite from the difficulties of the journey.
0:43:07 > 0:43:11- JO:- Do something for the camera, don't be shy now.
0:43:11 > 0:43:13LAUGHTER
0:43:13 > 0:43:16You realise this'll end up in the documentary, don't you?
0:43:16 > 0:43:18Boo!
0:43:24 > 0:43:27But, once again, the weather turns against them.
0:43:29 > 0:43:33With 14 more ports to go, as she prepares to leave Peterhead,
0:43:33 > 0:43:35a storm is brewing.
0:43:35 > 0:43:40Our three predictions we use a lot are all vastly different.
0:43:40 > 0:43:43It's frustrating, annoying,
0:43:43 > 0:43:46and we need to move.
0:43:46 > 0:43:47We really need to move.
0:43:48 > 0:43:51Toby, however, is not too concerned.
0:43:51 > 0:43:56Well, the thunder is inshore and downwind of us,
0:43:56 > 0:43:59so it's spectacular and it's worrying that there's
0:43:59 > 0:44:02enough energy in the atmosphere to do that...
0:44:04 > 0:44:06..but I don't think that it's going to affect us.
0:44:09 > 0:44:12His prediction turns out to be wrong.
0:44:15 > 0:44:17The team is caught in a storm.
0:44:18 > 0:44:20Despite the atrocious weather,
0:44:20 > 0:44:24Hilary completes most of the leg under sail.
0:44:25 > 0:44:28But, after nine hours at sea, she is exhausted,
0:44:28 > 0:44:31and is towed into Stonehaven harbour.
0:44:33 > 0:44:36We sailed through some really wet weather
0:44:36 > 0:44:38and some of the towing was quite bumpy.
0:44:38 > 0:44:42By the time I got here, I was pretty uncomfortable.
0:44:42 > 0:44:47I had to take an extra hundred mgs of morphine.
0:44:47 > 0:44:52My body started to have muscle spasms, where things have got
0:44:52 > 0:44:59cramped or bashed, and eventually my body started to go into shock.
0:44:59 > 0:45:01To make matters worse, Hilary
0:45:01 > 0:45:03has to be hauled up the steps.
0:45:18 > 0:45:20PEOPLE CALL OUT
0:45:20 > 0:45:24- Stonehaven.- Long sail. - Thank you very much.
0:45:24 > 0:45:26- Cold?- Just a bit.
0:45:26 > 0:45:29- Cold and wet.- Very wet.
0:45:29 > 0:45:33So, it was a pretty horrible evening, and the worry was all
0:45:33 > 0:45:36the morphine would stop my breathing,
0:45:36 > 0:45:40but you can't just roll up to an A&E and say,
0:45:40 > 0:45:41"I'd like some morphine, please."
0:45:41 > 0:45:43They tend to think you're an addict,
0:45:43 > 0:45:46especially if you're white and shivering.'
0:45:46 > 0:45:51Today, I'm still in quite a lot of pain,
0:45:51 > 0:45:54but I'm just maintaining it,
0:45:54 > 0:45:57self-medicating, as usual.
0:45:57 > 0:46:00Just taking a bit more.
0:46:00 > 0:46:04If I'm a bit spaced out, that's why.
0:46:04 > 0:46:10OVER RADIO: Sub, sub, sub, we are not going up the river, over.
0:46:12 > 0:46:15At Arbroath, high winds stop them sailing for five days.
0:46:20 > 0:46:23Hilary and Toby take a rare night off in a hotel
0:46:23 > 0:46:26so that she can have a rest and a bath.
0:46:27 > 0:46:29But, at two in the morning,
0:46:29 > 0:46:31a fire breaks out.
0:46:31 > 0:46:33Quite severe damage to the kitchen area,
0:46:33 > 0:46:38and severe damage to the floor of the first floor level.
0:46:38 > 0:46:40The fire alarms went off as they should,
0:46:40 > 0:46:43and as soon as the manager discovered what was going on,
0:46:43 > 0:46:47where the fire was, we got the residents out as quick as we could.
0:46:47 > 0:46:50We knew we had a disabled lady in the hotel.
0:46:51 > 0:46:54I got dressed, I got Hilary dressed quickly,
0:46:54 > 0:46:57into the chair, down the corridor.
0:46:57 > 0:47:04The kitchen vent was just absolutely pouring smoke.
0:47:04 > 0:47:07There was a lift and I did actually open the door of the lift.
0:47:07 > 0:47:11I was saying, "We can't use the lift, we can't use it".
0:47:11 > 0:47:15Anyway, we opened the lift doors, smoke was pouring out.
0:47:17 > 0:47:22Luckily, the lift is right by the stairs.
0:47:22 > 0:47:26I said leave me here, you've got to leave me, you've got to.
0:47:27 > 0:47:33The protocol is you leave someone in a wheelchair at the top
0:47:33 > 0:47:36of the stairs in a fire, because carrying them down
0:47:36 > 0:47:40causes danger for too many other people.
0:47:41 > 0:47:43But Toby wasn't going to leave me.
0:47:43 > 0:47:46Someone else who had come out of their room kindly
0:47:46 > 0:47:48carried Hilary's chair down.
0:47:48 > 0:47:53After her terrifying ordeal, Hilary decides she is better off at sea.
0:47:53 > 0:47:55No more days off.
0:47:58 > 0:48:01But the bad weather keeps her firmly in harbour.
0:48:02 > 0:48:06It's strange - I find it so much harder being in camp doing nothing.
0:48:06 > 0:48:09I get so tired.
0:48:09 > 0:48:13I can sail for 14 hours and just feel pooped.
0:48:13 > 0:48:18As I get out of the boat I'm still on an incredible high.
0:48:18 > 0:48:20Two hours later, I'm dropping,
0:48:20 > 0:48:24but it's just doing nothing that exhausts me.
0:48:25 > 0:48:28Next day, the weather improves.
0:48:29 > 0:48:33Three weeks behind schedule, Hilary is determined to push on.
0:48:33 > 0:48:36You've been very good, Lottie. There.
0:48:36 > 0:48:41With 11 more stops to go, the team needs to step up the pace.
0:48:41 > 0:48:44We're now going to get quite tough on the guys.
0:48:44 > 0:48:47We will get up, be ready to go,
0:48:47 > 0:48:52and then we'll look at the weather and see if it's appropriate to go.
0:48:53 > 0:48:55Ow!
0:48:55 > 0:48:59We've just had too many missed opportunities,
0:48:59 > 0:49:04when the forecast has been wildly wrong.
0:49:04 > 0:49:07Watch the boom, Rory. Sheeting out.
0:49:09 > 0:49:10Thank you very much, George.
0:49:18 > 0:49:21The last third of the voyage takes Hilary back
0:49:21 > 0:49:23into English coastal waters.
0:49:25 > 0:49:29Part of me never wants it to finish,
0:49:29 > 0:49:33because this is living.
0:49:34 > 0:49:38With every mile bringing her closer to the world she left behind,
0:49:38 > 0:49:41going home holds no attraction.
0:49:41 > 0:49:42I don't see it,
0:49:42 > 0:49:44don't look at it,
0:49:44 > 0:49:46don't think about it.
0:49:46 > 0:49:51Erm, I don't want to be trapped again.
0:49:56 > 0:49:59Her life has moved on.
0:49:59 > 0:50:01At home, she will be reunited with Clifford.
0:50:03 > 0:50:05But it is Toby who will enable her to sail.
0:50:06 > 0:50:10That's up to Hilary. That's her choice.
0:50:10 > 0:50:14If there is a next project, then this, in effect,
0:50:14 > 0:50:17carries on, in a different form, but it carries on.
0:50:19 > 0:50:22The project has brought Toby and Hilary together.
0:50:22 > 0:50:27None of them, Clifford included, knows what the future holds.
0:50:27 > 0:50:31I haven't really got ready for her coming home yet.
0:50:31 > 0:50:34I don't think there's anything one can possibly do until she's home
0:50:34 > 0:50:38and we can see what sort of state she's in and how things are really.
0:50:42 > 0:50:46We have an arrangement for the three of us that works,
0:50:46 > 0:50:51which sounds strange, but I don't think love is like
0:50:51 > 0:50:56a pie, you know, it's not limited.
0:50:56 > 0:50:59There are different types of love.
0:51:01 > 0:51:05Although our lives are going in different directions,
0:51:05 > 0:51:10Clifford will always be part of my family.
0:51:15 > 0:51:18The voyage south, in much more favourable conditions,
0:51:18 > 0:51:20takes the whole of August.
0:51:26 > 0:51:30Despite all the ups and downs of her journey so far,
0:51:30 > 0:51:32there is one thing she's quite clear about.
0:51:32 > 0:51:36I'm better being outside, being by the sea,
0:51:36 > 0:51:38having a purpose.
0:51:38 > 0:51:41All those things help hugely.
0:51:41 > 0:51:44I deal with the pain better
0:51:44 > 0:51:47because I've got stuff to do.
0:51:47 > 0:51:50I'm tired physically at the end of the day,
0:51:50 > 0:51:54so I sleep better,
0:51:54 > 0:52:00which means I deal with the pain better the following day.
0:52:00 > 0:52:04You know, I have bad days
0:52:04 > 0:52:09when I'll snap at everyone and anyone.
0:52:09 > 0:52:11Erm...
0:52:11 > 0:52:15but there have only been a few of those.
0:52:17 > 0:52:19The voyage continues on to Ramsgate
0:52:19 > 0:52:22where the team prepares for the final leg to Dover.
0:52:27 > 0:52:31For Hilary, this is a traumatic moment.
0:52:31 > 0:52:33Erm...
0:52:34 > 0:52:35..very nervous.
0:52:37 > 0:52:42We've got more wind than we were expecting.
0:52:43 > 0:52:46Erm, it's another sail.
0:52:47 > 0:52:50Can you shove my sunnies up for me?
0:52:52 > 0:52:55It's hard, it's the last one
0:52:55 > 0:52:58and I don't really want to get out...
0:52:58 > 0:52:59at all.
0:53:08 > 0:53:10With a farewell kiss from her mother,
0:53:10 > 0:53:13Hilary sets out on the last leg of her journey.
0:53:21 > 0:53:25Deal is the last port Hilary will call at before the final sail
0:53:25 > 0:53:27to Dover.
0:53:33 > 0:53:36The Lions Club is there to greet her,
0:53:36 > 0:53:40just as they have been throughout the voyage.
0:53:40 > 0:53:42So, too, is a local band.
0:53:45 > 0:53:48Ending this scares me.
0:53:48 > 0:53:52It's been my sole purpose for four years,
0:53:52 > 0:53:56and it ending is something
0:53:56 > 0:53:59that will change my life.
0:54:12 > 0:54:15The return to Dover is triumphant.
0:54:15 > 0:54:19Hilary has been at sea more than 100 days.
0:54:22 > 0:54:26Six times she's collapsed and been taken to hospital.
0:54:26 > 0:54:28Six times she's fought on.
0:54:28 > 0:54:31There is a magnificence that supersedes all the pain
0:54:31 > 0:54:33and the grief
0:54:33 > 0:54:35and there's a glory there, really, and, I mean,
0:54:35 > 0:54:38the disease takes its inevitable course
0:54:38 > 0:54:41but the glory, that's the human hope, isn't it?
0:54:41 > 0:54:44To be able to overcome things that you can't control.
0:54:45 > 0:54:47Whatever the future may hold,
0:54:47 > 0:54:49this voyage has been a triumph.
0:54:49 > 0:54:52Hilary has sailed 3,000 miles, solo.
0:54:52 > 0:54:56CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:54:59 > 0:55:04As always, there is the usual round of press interviews.
0:55:04 > 0:55:07OK, Hilary, tell me, first of all, congratulations...
0:55:07 > 0:55:12A few hours of interest and then the media will move on.
0:55:15 > 0:55:17I'll be able to get a job that pays me money.
0:55:17 > 0:55:22Hilary's husband Clifford is there to welcome her home.
0:55:22 > 0:55:24Because I needed to go out and earn a living,
0:55:24 > 0:55:27I didn't have the time to devote to enabling her to be free.
0:55:27 > 0:55:31This team of people are all striving
0:55:31 > 0:55:33with this enormous challenge.
0:55:33 > 0:55:35They are her escape.
0:55:37 > 0:55:41And that's fantastic because I couldn't ever have been.
0:55:44 > 0:55:47I'm living a life that's worth something,
0:55:47 > 0:55:51and, er, even if it's only worth something to me,
0:55:51 > 0:55:54that's a very selfish thing,
0:55:54 > 0:55:58but being on the sea is something we have to do.
0:56:00 > 0:56:02I think many sailors are selfish.
0:56:02 > 0:56:06You know, we all leave our families and go away
0:56:06 > 0:56:10and expect them just to deal with it,
0:56:10 > 0:56:14and that is the most generous gift, really.
0:56:15 > 0:56:18He works on that I'll always come back.
0:56:20 > 0:56:23Hilary may be coming home for now,
0:56:23 > 0:56:26but already she's planning her next project.
0:56:29 > 0:56:32She wants to share the sip and puff technology
0:56:32 > 0:56:34to benefit other disabled sailors.
0:56:35 > 0:56:39She also wants a bigger boat to take longer journeys.
0:56:41 > 0:56:44But as her health continues to deteriorate,
0:56:44 > 0:56:46it's a race against time.
0:56:48 > 0:56:50My body is pretty knackered,
0:56:50 > 0:56:54but, all the time, my will is stronger.
0:56:54 > 0:56:55I'll keep going.
0:56:56 > 0:57:02And that means leaving an old life in the past,
0:57:02 > 0:57:04with some regret,
0:57:04 > 0:57:07but, mostly, with hope.
0:57:58 > 0:58:01Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd