0:00:02 > 0:00:03This programme contains strong language
0:00:03 > 0:00:06Britain's new beauty queens are competing in a pageant with a difference.
0:00:06 > 0:00:08These girls are stunning.
0:00:08 > 0:00:11They've got their bodies, they've got their breasts done.
0:00:11 > 0:00:15I'm like early, early, early stage, so I'm relying on make-up here
0:00:15 > 0:00:18and my Gillette razors.
0:00:18 > 0:00:23Miss Transgender UK is the nation's first pageant for trans-women.
0:00:23 > 0:00:26I think it's become a celebration of being transgender overall,
0:00:26 > 0:00:30for everybody, as well as everybody wanting to be in it to win it.
0:00:30 > 0:00:3340 contestants will battle it out for the crown.
0:00:33 > 0:00:35I look at all the girls, it's like The Hunger Games -
0:00:35 > 0:00:37right, I'm out to kill.
0:00:37 > 0:00:39Darling, it's not Crufts!
0:00:39 > 0:00:42This is a competition and this is trying to make people proud!
0:00:42 > 0:00:44You're a disgrace!
0:00:44 > 0:00:47But they're not just fighting for first place,
0:00:47 > 0:00:51they're battling to be accepted as the women they were born to be.
0:00:51 > 0:00:55I've got a voice and I've got a story, I've got a past.
0:00:55 > 0:00:57I want to be understood, I want to be heard.
0:01:06 > 0:01:09Do you want more height here? Or do you want it to just fall naturally?
0:01:09 > 0:01:11Yeah, I just want it to fall naturally.
0:01:11 > 0:01:14Because you're a bit of a natural chick, aren't you?
0:01:14 > 0:01:17The hair's natural, everything else is paid for.
0:01:17 > 0:01:21Beauty queen hopefuls from all corners of Britain have
0:01:21 > 0:01:24entered the inaugural Miss Transgender UK pageant.
0:01:24 > 0:01:28Erm...I'm not going to lie. I feel pretty.
0:01:28 > 0:01:30I feel like I'm getting married.
0:01:32 > 0:01:36We've got such a wide variation of girls that have entered,
0:01:36 > 0:01:39some of them are international pageant winners,
0:01:39 > 0:01:41some are just going through their early transition.
0:01:43 > 0:01:45How does it look?
0:01:45 > 0:01:48I can't even say the words that are in my mouth.
0:01:48 > 0:01:53Some are 56 years old, some are 19 years old.
0:01:53 > 0:01:56Some are out and others are just not
0:01:56 > 0:01:59and they're using this as a platform to be able to do that.
0:01:59 > 0:02:01It's not just a beauty pageant.
0:02:01 > 0:02:03We're looking for somebody that's got something to say.
0:02:03 > 0:02:06Five regional heats will take place across the nation.
0:02:06 > 0:02:10The top beauty queens from each heat will qualify for the final,
0:02:10 > 0:02:13where one of them will win £5,000 and be crowned the country's
0:02:13 > 0:02:15first Miss Transgender UK.
0:02:15 > 0:02:19If I win the final, I then have the money to be able to
0:02:19 > 0:02:22start my extra special process of becoming a mum.
0:02:22 > 0:02:27We follow three contestants as they struggle to leave their past behind
0:02:27 > 0:02:30and be recognised as the women they've fought to become.
0:02:30 > 0:02:33I started to transition as soon as I left school
0:02:33 > 0:02:36and I just got terrorised, I couldn't live my life in peace.
0:02:36 > 0:02:40I've been called so many different names over the years -
0:02:40 > 0:02:43him, it, freak, tranny.
0:02:43 > 0:02:45I'm a girl at the end of the day.
0:02:45 > 0:02:47I was just born with a dick, that's it.
0:03:06 > 0:03:09In two days' time, 22-year-old Jai will be
0:03:09 > 0:03:12competing in the Scotland heat for a place in the final.
0:03:14 > 0:03:18She's from Walkerburn, a small village in the Borders.
0:03:18 > 0:03:21Currently, I am the only trans in the village.
0:03:21 > 0:03:24I'm certainly the only one in quite a few villages.
0:03:24 > 0:03:26It's like Little Britain.
0:03:29 > 0:03:33Jai has been living as a woman for just two months
0:03:33 > 0:03:37and is already finding dating as a trans-girl confusing.
0:03:37 > 0:03:41If a man wants to use me as a fetish, they normally ask for
0:03:41 > 0:03:44a dick pic or they will ask...
0:03:44 > 0:03:46They go, "Do you have Snapchat?"
0:03:46 > 0:03:49And I'm like, "Oh, yes, I have Snapchat."
0:03:49 > 0:03:53And then they say hi to me with a dick. That's what I get.
0:03:54 > 0:03:58I just sort of feel like I am 16 again
0:03:58 > 0:04:02and just trying to find my feet, really,
0:04:02 > 0:04:04and I think it's just going to take me a while
0:04:04 > 0:04:07and I've just got to basically test the water on everything.
0:04:16 > 0:04:22That was just me, like, brace-faced, awkward teenager.
0:04:22 > 0:04:25I always thought the fashion was a bit quirky.
0:04:25 > 0:04:26HE CHUCKLES
0:04:26 > 0:04:31Bordering on feminine taste. I suppose, if I look back on it,
0:04:31 > 0:04:35the signs were there. I just thought he was gay.
0:04:35 > 0:04:37Jai spent the first few years of her life in Thailand,
0:04:37 > 0:04:41having been born to a Scottish father and Thai mother.
0:04:41 > 0:04:44Her parents started taking her to Thailand's iconic stage shows
0:04:44 > 0:04:46when she was six years old.
0:04:47 > 0:04:52I was always, like, quite fascinated by the ladyboys because it's like...
0:04:52 > 0:04:55they used to be boys but now they're women who are stunning
0:04:55 > 0:04:58and attractive and sought-after.
0:05:01 > 0:05:05So that's the picture, my first ever experience with ladyboys.
0:05:05 > 0:05:08Like, when she picked me up, I thought that she
0:05:08 > 0:05:11was just a very glamorous woman.
0:05:11 > 0:05:14They were what I wanted to be.
0:05:16 > 0:05:18- INTERVIEWER:- As Jai starts to physically change,
0:05:18 > 0:05:19are you nervous about that?
0:05:19 > 0:05:23No, his personality doesn't change.
0:05:23 > 0:05:29The same person, it's just the outer shell changes, but inside just
0:05:29 > 0:05:33stays the same, so I've not got any concerns about that.
0:05:33 > 0:05:35It's not important to our relationship.
0:05:41 > 0:05:43I'll wear my waist trainer.
0:05:43 > 0:05:49So I put it on three and then just shake for, like, 20 minutes.
0:05:49 > 0:05:53To get her body pageant ready, Jai is on a strict training regime.
0:05:54 > 0:05:58My dream body would be Kim Kardashian's body.
0:05:58 > 0:06:03I want to have a big ass, tiny waist and then big boobs.
0:06:04 > 0:06:07Of the 40 girls in the competition,
0:06:07 > 0:06:09Jai is at the earlier stage of her transition.
0:06:09 > 0:06:14I feel really, like, self-conscious because I am so early stage,
0:06:14 > 0:06:20so it's like I have to try more to prove to people that I am a woman.
0:06:21 > 0:06:24I'm trying to show these judges and the panel
0:06:24 > 0:06:29and the UK that...girl from the Borders who's had nothing done
0:06:29 > 0:06:32is as high a level as the girls who might have had everything done.
0:06:34 > 0:06:37- MACHINE BEEPS - Da-dun.
0:06:41 > 0:06:45- What size is that? - It's about a UK 8.- Oh, no.
0:06:46 > 0:06:48We're not an 8 any more.
0:06:48 > 0:06:5330-year-old Courtney is hoping to take the crown at the Midlands heat
0:06:53 > 0:06:55and win a place in the final.
0:06:55 > 0:06:58I've never wore anything like this before in my life, never.
0:06:58 > 0:07:00Eight months ago, she moved from Nottingham
0:07:00 > 0:07:02to London for a fresh start.
0:07:02 > 0:07:05- INTERVIEWER:- What did you think when you were invited to join the pageant?
0:07:05 > 0:07:06I was really shocked,
0:07:06 > 0:07:09I was kind of thinking, "Really?
0:07:09 > 0:07:13"Should I really do this? Am I really that kind of girl?"
0:07:13 > 0:07:18- What do you mean by that? - Like, beauty queen, you know?
0:07:19 > 0:07:21Last year, I was 7.5 stone.
0:07:21 > 0:07:24I was sat in my flat smoking a cocktail of drugs,
0:07:24 > 0:07:26as the drugs worker put it.
0:07:26 > 0:07:29And now, I'm busting at the seams of my dresses and I'm happy
0:07:29 > 0:07:33and I'm glad I'm still alive and I'm still breathing and I'm a survivor.
0:07:33 > 0:07:35I refuse to go out like that.
0:07:35 > 0:07:38Courtney started to transition when she was just a teenager.
0:07:38 > 0:07:40Since then, she's struggled with addiction
0:07:40 > 0:07:44and worked on and off as a transgender escort and webcam girl.
0:07:50 > 0:07:53I don't want to escort any more.
0:07:53 > 0:07:54I want a stable life.
0:07:54 > 0:07:57Courtney wants to use the competition to speak out
0:07:57 > 0:08:01about how young transgender women can get trapped in the sex industry.
0:08:01 > 0:08:05Escorting is a very big issue in today's transgender community.
0:08:05 > 0:08:08As a transgender person, it's very normal for us
0:08:08 > 0:08:11to be sex workers and that's what I want to try and change.
0:08:13 > 0:08:15Oh, my God. I feel amazing.
0:08:18 > 0:08:23I just want my mum to look at me and be like, "That's my daughter."
0:08:23 > 0:08:25You know?
0:08:28 > 0:08:30Courtney has just found out that her mum,
0:08:30 > 0:08:34who she hasn't seen in two years, has bought a ticket to the pageant.
0:08:35 > 0:08:39My family is like an episode of Dynasty,
0:08:39 > 0:08:42or probably Shameless, but in my head Dynasty.
0:08:43 > 0:08:46How do you feel about your mum in the audience?
0:08:46 > 0:08:48It's going to be really, really hard,
0:08:48 > 0:08:50but I'm going to give props to my mum, you know,
0:08:50 > 0:08:54because she's not going to win mother of the year,
0:08:54 > 0:08:57but she was, like, saying how proud of me she was.
0:08:57 > 0:09:02That's all anyone ever wants to hear from their parents, isn't it?
0:09:12 > 0:09:15Well, you're definitely all lady in that.
0:09:15 > 0:09:18Get to that final.
0:09:18 > 0:09:2228-year-old Fay has been living as a woman for 13 years.
0:09:22 > 0:09:25She's one of the only contestants to have had full gender
0:09:25 > 0:09:26reassignment surgery.
0:09:28 > 0:09:31I feel a lot of people glamorise it and they're like,
0:09:31 > 0:09:36"It's amazing, it's fab." It's not amazing. It's not fabulous.
0:09:36 > 0:09:44It's hard work. You know, the first time I had sex as Fay was...
0:09:44 > 0:09:48Can I just be honest? It wasn't as good as it was meant to be.
0:09:48 > 0:09:54You know, you have to make sure the guy doesn't have the biggest hammer
0:09:54 > 0:10:00in the tool box, because that can be quite scary, but you make it work.
0:10:00 > 0:10:03It doesn't become the best thing since sliced bread,
0:10:03 > 0:10:05but it's definitely not the worst thing.
0:10:05 > 0:10:09It's a really unusual and liberating experience
0:10:09 > 0:10:12when you have sex as the gender that you are.
0:10:12 > 0:10:15It is...
0:10:15 > 0:10:17a happy feeling.
0:10:20 > 0:10:23Could probably get married one day in a dress like this.
0:10:28 > 0:10:30For Fay, when it comes to the competition,
0:10:30 > 0:10:34it's the £5,000 prize money that really counts.
0:10:34 > 0:10:37She wants to use it to help fulfil her lifelong dream.
0:10:39 > 0:10:42You're here with me, Stuart Hatton, on Pride Radio,
0:10:42 > 0:10:45and we have a special guest in the studio.
0:10:45 > 0:10:49Yes, we have Miss Fay Louise, who is - now, let me get this right -
0:10:49 > 0:10:54Miss Transgender United Kingdom contestant.
0:10:54 > 0:10:55Now, what do you get out of it?
0:10:55 > 0:10:59Come on, there's got to be a prize, somewhere like thousands of billions
0:10:59 > 0:11:04- and billions...- You get £5,000. - £5,000?!- And the thing is...
0:11:04 > 0:11:06What are you going to do with that?
0:11:06 > 0:11:08Come on, you're going to buy yourself a new car? No, holiday!
0:11:08 > 0:11:15If I was to win, I want to start a family and I want to have the...
0:11:15 > 0:11:21you know, the little boy, the little girl, that kind of, "He's my child."
0:11:21 > 0:11:25You know, I had my sperm frozen many moons ago
0:11:25 > 0:11:31and back then, I already knew then I wanted my own child.
0:11:40 > 0:11:42So it's sperm and an egg.
0:11:44 > 0:11:48I just want to be a mum and it's...
0:11:48 > 0:11:51That, to me, feels so normal and natural.
0:11:52 > 0:11:56Becoming a mum as a transgender woman isn't straightforward.
0:11:56 > 0:11:59Fay had her sperm frozen seven years ago, but to have a baby
0:11:59 > 0:12:02she'll need an egg and a surrogate.
0:12:02 > 0:12:05She's visiting an alternative parenting show to find out
0:12:05 > 0:12:06more about her options.
0:12:08 > 0:12:11You know, I don't really know the whole process of having
0:12:11 > 0:12:14a surrogacy, having a surrogate, sorry.
0:12:14 > 0:12:17Is it more difficult being, like, transgender
0:12:17 > 0:12:19- and wanting to go through the process?- No, I think
0:12:19 > 0:12:24if you work with a clinic that has worked with transgender patients
0:12:24 > 0:12:27before and who have experience with them, no, I don't think so.
0:12:27 > 0:12:30It's no different than treating any other patients.
0:12:30 > 0:12:33- What has scared me is the cost. - Right.
0:12:33 > 0:12:37If you plan it well and you organise it well,
0:12:37 > 0:12:42you're looking at probably somewhere around...about 120,000.
0:12:42 > 0:12:45That's...a helluva of a lot of money.
0:12:45 > 0:12:49I mean, that's like, what, maybe six years' wage of some people?
0:12:51 > 0:12:56Surrogacy is my first option and I want to have a biological child.
0:12:56 > 0:13:00The price is ridiculously scary
0:13:00 > 0:13:03and I kind of think I felt more isolated,
0:13:03 > 0:13:05because I was here on my own.
0:13:05 > 0:13:08I didn't have anyone to call and kind of, you know, like,
0:13:08 > 0:13:11"This is how much it is going to cost us."
0:13:12 > 0:13:16It's really scary to be doing this...
0:13:16 > 0:13:19on my own, so...yeah...
0:13:30 > 0:13:32So, this is my talent.
0:13:32 > 0:13:36So it's very, like, boho with my hat.
0:13:38 > 0:13:40It's the day of the Scotland heat.
0:13:40 > 0:13:44Del, Jai's flatmate and ex-boyfriend, is helping her prepare.
0:13:44 > 0:13:46Hopefully, when I rip it off my head,
0:13:46 > 0:13:49when I become really dramatic during the song, I don't take my wig off.
0:13:49 > 0:13:51I'm not a fan of the hat.
0:13:51 > 0:13:53- Why?- Too much.
0:13:53 > 0:13:57You don't like some things that I wear because...
0:13:57 > 0:13:59You live in a little village.
0:13:59 > 0:14:04Yeah, my fashion would be like suitable if I lived in a big city.
0:14:04 > 0:14:08Not even! Everyone's far too polite to Jai,
0:14:08 > 0:14:11because of this whole transgender thing.
0:14:11 > 0:14:14No, no, everyone's always been nice to me.
0:14:14 > 0:14:16No-one's ever really said anything.
0:14:16 > 0:14:18I think it's because you look so little and innocent,
0:14:18 > 0:14:21but I'll tell him when he looks like shit.
0:14:22 > 0:14:27Jai and Del broke up two months ago when Jai came out as transgender.
0:14:27 > 0:14:32I personally think that Jai decided to go trans
0:14:32 > 0:14:36because he was bored of being gay.
0:14:36 > 0:14:40Because being gay is so...
0:14:40 > 0:14:43socially accepted now
0:14:43 > 0:14:45that he wasn't getting the attention that he used to,
0:14:45 > 0:14:47so he had to change it up,
0:14:47 > 0:14:52so now he's wanting to get tits and lose his bits, so...
0:14:53 > 0:14:56- My personal opinion. - That's his opinion.
0:14:56 > 0:14:58He loves attention, he's a massive diva.
0:14:58 > 0:15:03- No...- Yeah, you absolutely love attention. It's incredible.
0:15:03 > 0:15:04When I came out as trans,
0:15:04 > 0:15:06it was sort of like, "Well, I am a girl now."
0:15:06 > 0:15:12The idea of him being gay and finding men attractive puts me off.
0:15:14 > 0:15:17The fact that he's a big tranny puts me off.
0:15:17 > 0:15:19- Transgender.- Transgender.
0:15:19 > 0:15:23- So...- Is tranny not short for transgender?
0:15:23 > 0:15:24No, it's not a good word.
0:15:24 > 0:15:27- So, it's like an insult?- Yes.
0:15:27 > 0:15:29I knew that.
0:15:34 > 0:15:37With six hours to go until showtime, Jai sets off for Glasgow.
0:15:40 > 0:15:44My dad messaged me. He said, "Good luck today.
0:15:44 > 0:15:47"Whatever happens, I'm proud of what you've done over the last few weeks.
0:15:47 > 0:15:50"If you don't come first, don't go into a meltdown rage.
0:15:50 > 0:15:54"Keep dignified, lose gracefully. Same if you win.
0:15:54 > 0:15:56"Respect the competition and, who knows,
0:15:56 > 0:16:00"something might come from it, but, if not, life goes on."
0:16:00 > 0:16:02So, yeah, I think that was really nice
0:16:02 > 0:16:04because sometimes I am a sore loser.
0:16:04 > 0:16:07I'll like rip that crown off her head and...
0:16:21 > 0:16:25I always struggle with lashes, I always struggle with lashes.
0:16:25 > 0:16:28They never seem to stick.
0:16:32 > 0:16:35Ah, that's better. I think the more the glam,
0:16:35 > 0:16:37the better I'm feeling now.
0:16:37 > 0:16:41Jai is one of nine girls competing in the Scotland heat.
0:16:41 > 0:16:46She must place in the top four to qualify for a place in the final.
0:16:46 > 0:16:48I feel really intimidated by the girls in the pageant
0:16:48 > 0:16:51because they're, like, feminine.
0:16:51 > 0:16:55They've got the bodies, got less hair.
0:16:56 > 0:16:58Physically, I still look like a boy.
0:17:02 > 0:17:05Jai's spotted Taylor, one of the favourites to win,
0:17:05 > 0:17:06and she's worried.
0:17:07 > 0:17:10It's mostly because she looks really pretty
0:17:10 > 0:17:13so I think that's what I worry about the most.
0:17:13 > 0:17:16She has just such a feminine look about her,
0:17:16 > 0:17:19so I think she will be the main competition right now.
0:17:23 > 0:17:28The contestants will be judged on a talent they have chosen to perform.
0:17:28 > 0:17:30I'm just getting, like, really quite nervous now.
0:17:32 > 0:17:35First to take to the stage is Jai's main rival, Taylor,
0:17:35 > 0:17:38and she's a hit with the crowd.
0:17:38 > 0:17:40CHEERING
0:17:40 > 0:17:43# I met him out for dinner on a Friday night
0:17:43 > 0:17:47# He really had me working up an appetite
0:17:47 > 0:17:49# He had tattoos up and down his arm
0:17:49 > 0:17:52# There's nothing more dangerous than a boy with charm... #
0:17:52 > 0:17:54CHEERING
0:17:59 > 0:18:02Next up, it's Jai.
0:18:02 > 0:18:04APPLAUSE
0:18:07 > 0:18:10# We both share the same blood
0:18:10 > 0:18:13# We both have the same mind
0:18:13 > 0:18:16HE MIMES: # And time and time
0:18:16 > 0:18:20# We've had so much to share
0:18:20 > 0:18:22# No, no, no, no, no way
0:18:22 > 0:18:26# Please stay and hold me, Mr Man
0:18:26 > 0:18:28# Try it, mister
0:18:28 > 0:18:29# Try it, mister
0:18:29 > 0:18:34# I know, I know, I know you can
0:18:36 > 0:18:44# Me. #
0:18:45 > 0:18:49CHEERING
0:18:51 > 0:18:54I slipped a few times, but my eyes started watering
0:18:54 > 0:18:56so it just looked like I was more emotional.
0:18:58 > 0:19:02I'm knacked. That took a lot out of me, that one.
0:19:02 > 0:19:04I'm sweating like a pig, like.
0:19:09 > 0:19:11Performances over, it's up to the judges
0:19:11 > 0:19:15to decide who goes to the final as Miss Scotland.
0:19:17 > 0:19:21I want to win because I'm not really me yet.
0:19:21 > 0:19:23It's still like, at the end of the night,
0:19:23 > 0:19:26I have to take my mask off every night.
0:19:26 > 0:19:30There's still sort of like that barrier holding my confidence back.
0:19:32 > 0:19:33Five minutes.
0:19:34 > 0:19:35Let's go.
0:19:39 > 0:19:41The results are in
0:19:41 > 0:19:44and the contestants are called to the stage for the last time.
0:19:50 > 0:19:53We've got the second prize winner
0:19:53 > 0:19:55and I'm really, really excited to announce
0:19:55 > 0:19:57that it's no-one less than...
0:19:57 > 0:19:59Taylor!
0:19:59 > 0:20:02CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:20:02 > 0:20:03Taylor takes second
0:20:03 > 0:20:06and Jai is still in with a chance of winning the crown.
0:20:07 > 0:20:10Right, the first place winner,
0:20:10 > 0:20:15Miss Transgender Glasgow, UK is no-one else than...
0:20:22 > 0:20:24It's Jai!
0:20:24 > 0:20:27CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:20:30 > 0:20:34Just one point ahead of Taylor, Jai is crowned Miss Scotland.
0:20:37 > 0:20:38Give it up for your winner, it's Jai!
0:20:44 > 0:20:49We'll see how the final goes. We'll see how I do in London.
0:20:49 > 0:20:52I'll be hitting that gym, diet, everything
0:20:52 > 0:20:55and I'm happy I've got this. I'm just happy.
0:20:55 > 0:21:01I beat two people who are much further along in their transition,
0:21:01 > 0:21:04so I do think, like, "Yeah, I must actually be quite feminine
0:21:04 > 0:21:06"because I did win Miss Scotland."
0:21:11 > 0:21:14Everyone likes this dress. That's what I might wear.
0:21:14 > 0:21:17Or I've got the choice of that one.
0:21:17 > 0:21:19Courtney's come home to Nottingham
0:21:19 > 0:21:24to visit her 82-year-old grandad Sydney for some pre-pageant advice.
0:21:24 > 0:21:25Right, so this is the dress,
0:21:25 > 0:21:28one of the dresses that I was thinking about wearing, Grandad.
0:21:28 > 0:21:33What do you think, red or this one?
0:21:33 > 0:21:35This one looks lovely.
0:21:35 > 0:21:38- Do you like that one?- Yeah.- OK, I'm going to wear that one then.
0:21:38 > 0:21:39You look lovely there.
0:21:39 > 0:21:42And then I've got to have a talent for the pageant
0:21:42 > 0:21:44- and I'm going to do a dance.- OK.
0:21:44 > 0:21:49And then I'm going to strip off into a swimming costume.
0:21:49 > 0:21:51SHE LAUGHS
0:21:51 > 0:21:54Fingers crossed I'll get through to the final.
0:21:54 > 0:21:57I feel confident that I will, but then you never know.
0:21:57 > 0:22:00- I wish you all the best. - Thank you.
0:22:00 > 0:22:05You have some idea what the person is going to end up to be.
0:22:05 > 0:22:07- So he wasn't shocked. - You always knew?
0:22:07 > 0:22:11Yeah, but I was never shocked about it
0:22:11 > 0:22:17when I saw him... saw her dressed up in a frock.
0:22:17 > 0:22:23I'd have to accept her or hate her, one of the two, isn't it,
0:22:23 > 0:22:26and you couldn't do it. It's your blood.
0:22:26 > 0:22:29How are you going to feel if the next time Courtney comes to see you,
0:22:29 > 0:22:32she's got a crown on her head?
0:22:32 > 0:22:37Well, I would be happy to see that, that I was proud of him.
0:22:38 > 0:22:42Or proud of her, whatsoever she be.
0:22:53 > 0:22:56Courtney was just a teenager and living on a council estate
0:22:56 > 0:22:58when she started to transition.
0:22:58 > 0:23:01It was a really, really rough area.
0:23:01 > 0:23:04It's just rough as fuck
0:23:04 > 0:23:07and I just got terrorised every time I walked out of my yard.
0:23:07 > 0:23:09I got terrorised. I couldn't live my life in peace.
0:23:09 > 0:23:12I was having bottles thrown at me.
0:23:12 > 0:23:15Some people just tried to run me over.
0:23:15 > 0:23:20I started to transition as soon as I left school, I got to, like, 17
0:23:20 > 0:23:24and then went from being a bit of a joke
0:23:24 > 0:23:29to being a bit of a sexy bitch!
0:23:29 > 0:23:30These streets are also
0:23:30 > 0:23:33where Courtney started escorting as a teenager.
0:23:35 > 0:23:38So we're on Forest Road, which is a renowned red light district,
0:23:38 > 0:23:40and this is where I used to come
0:23:40 > 0:23:44when I was younger to get money with my friend.
0:23:44 > 0:23:50We were the only trans-girls working the lane at that time.
0:23:50 > 0:23:52It was really, really, erm...
0:23:52 > 0:23:54It was really scary.
0:23:56 > 0:23:58As I started to come here more and more,
0:23:58 > 0:24:01I started getting more confident, coming up here on my own, you know,
0:24:01 > 0:24:06and built up a clientele so it did get to that stage
0:24:06 > 0:24:12where I was going back to their houses or going to the next level.
0:24:14 > 0:24:20When you're young, you don't have no kind of concept of any danger.
0:24:20 > 0:24:23You just think, "Fuck it, I need this money."
0:24:24 > 0:24:27If I could go back and tell 14-year-old Courtney
0:24:27 > 0:24:30how things were going to be now, I would have been like,
0:24:30 > 0:24:34"You don't want to die and your life is going to get so much better.
0:24:34 > 0:24:39"You're going to be in a beauty pageant
0:24:39 > 0:24:43"and people are going to be interested in you
0:24:43 > 0:24:48"and you're going to be somebody and you are somebody."
0:24:51 > 0:24:53PHONE RINGS
0:24:59 > 0:25:01Hi, my name is Fay Louise Purdham.
0:25:01 > 0:25:04I'm ringing in relation to a phone call I received recently
0:25:04 > 0:25:07about an outstanding amount of money that was due.
0:25:07 > 0:25:10And can you tell me...
0:25:10 > 0:25:12So, is everything still intact?
0:25:12 > 0:25:14Nothing's been destroyed?
0:25:14 > 0:25:17It's the morning of the north-east heat and Fay's had some bad news.
0:25:17 > 0:25:20The sperm she had frozen is in danger of being destroyed
0:25:20 > 0:25:23because she's fallen behind on her payments.
0:25:24 > 0:25:26No, I do not want to discard.
0:25:26 > 0:25:31I am just figuring out the financial side of it.
0:25:31 > 0:25:35I will literally get this sorted immediately.
0:25:35 > 0:25:38OK, thank you, bye-bye.
0:25:40 > 0:25:43So, I owe £786.
0:25:43 > 0:25:46Next year, I will then owe another 700,
0:25:46 > 0:25:49so that does bring it up to 1,400.
0:25:49 > 0:25:52I'm in a position where I would literally do anything right now
0:25:52 > 0:25:57to secure motherhood, to be a parent.
0:25:58 > 0:26:02It would destroy us to have that taken away from us.
0:26:05 > 0:26:08- Curls, curls, curls, curls, curls.- Major curl.
0:26:08 > 0:26:10Major curls, major bigness, major amazingness.
0:26:12 > 0:26:15With money worries still on her mind,
0:26:15 > 0:26:18Fay's come to her friend's salon to get ready for the heat.
0:26:18 > 0:26:23I got a phone call off London Sperm Bank and they basically said,
0:26:23 > 0:26:28"You've ran out of timescales. You have to pay."
0:26:28 > 0:26:32And I said to them, "I'm struggling, please understand."
0:26:32 > 0:26:36So, if I win,
0:26:36 > 0:26:42it's five grand, so I would be able to pay off another five years
0:26:42 > 0:26:44and that would be nice
0:26:44 > 0:26:48and I just think I'd be like such a nice mam, do you know what I mean?
0:26:48 > 0:26:51You could imagine. I'd want to be called Mama.
0:26:51 > 0:26:55- You just dote on people, don't you? - Yeah, I love it.
0:26:55 > 0:26:57And obviously it's something I've really planned.
0:26:57 > 0:27:02- I wouldn't have had my sperm frozen if I didn't want this.- Yeah, yeah.
0:27:02 > 0:27:05It just feels more special to me.
0:27:18 > 0:27:21- What are you writing now? - I'm going to write...
0:27:21 > 0:27:22Well, I can, I suppose, spell.
0:27:24 > 0:27:27It needs to be readable.
0:27:27 > 0:27:29The north-east heat is underway
0:27:29 > 0:27:33and Fay's backstage preparing for her performance.
0:27:33 > 0:27:34She wants to use it to highlight
0:27:34 > 0:27:36how hard it is to be accepted as a trans-woman.
0:27:36 > 0:27:41'I've been called so many different names over the years -
0:27:41 > 0:27:45'him, it, freak, tranny.'
0:27:45 > 0:27:49Being called a freak hurts the worst
0:27:49 > 0:27:53because it's thrown around so easily.
0:27:58 > 0:28:00Welcome to the stage Fay, please.
0:28:00 > 0:28:03CHEERING
0:28:08 > 0:28:12The winners from the north-east heat will go through to the final,
0:28:12 > 0:28:14along with those from the other heats across the UK.
0:28:14 > 0:28:18Welcome to the first International Pageant for Transgender.
0:28:18 > 0:28:19This is the Cardiff heat.
0:28:19 > 0:28:23And the judges' vote for the pageant winner who goes to the final
0:28:23 > 0:28:26with this lovely lady is number four.
0:28:26 > 0:28:29CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:28:29 > 0:28:33Miss Transgender Brighton - Natasha.
0:28:33 > 0:28:36CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:28:38 > 0:28:41The people's favourite - Ashley.
0:28:41 > 0:28:44CHEERING
0:28:47 > 0:28:51Every girl on this stage tonight has been a winner.
0:28:51 > 0:28:54You know, for somebody who works in a school cleaning every night,
0:28:54 > 0:28:56it's not bad, is it, you know?
0:28:57 > 0:29:00With only a few places left in the final,
0:29:00 > 0:29:03Fay's hoping she's done enough to impress the judges.
0:29:07 > 0:29:08In second place...
0:29:09 > 0:29:10..Miss Chani.
0:29:10 > 0:29:13CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:29:21 > 0:29:22In first place...
0:29:24 > 0:29:25..Miss Fay.
0:29:25 > 0:29:28CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:29:38 > 0:29:40I'm in the final now.
0:29:40 > 0:29:43If I win the final, I then have the money to be able
0:29:43 > 0:29:48to start my extra special process of becoming a mum.
0:29:49 > 0:29:51Cheers!
0:29:58 > 0:30:01I'm really nervous about being on TV.
0:30:01 > 0:30:06I've not been on live TV before so I'm nervous, but...
0:30:07 > 0:30:11Courtney's been invited onto a chat show to talk about the pageant.
0:30:11 > 0:30:14She is hoping to use the opportunity
0:30:14 > 0:30:17to speak out about being a transgender escort.
0:30:17 > 0:30:19Courtney Campbell, hello to you.
0:30:19 > 0:30:23You're going to be taking part actually in this pageant.
0:30:23 > 0:30:26Well, let me ask you, why do you need what to me would appear to be
0:30:26 > 0:30:30a quite outdated sort of beauty contest for transgender people? Why?
0:30:30 > 0:30:31I think it's just a bit of fun.
0:30:31 > 0:30:34Obviously, it's getting the awareness
0:30:34 > 0:30:35of what transgender people do need.
0:30:35 > 0:30:37Some of these girls that are in the competition
0:30:37 > 0:30:40have never done a pageant in their lives and, like me,
0:30:40 > 0:30:42have a always dreamed of doing something like that.
0:30:42 > 0:30:44It may be old-fashioned, but it's fun.
0:30:44 > 0:30:46And this is not all about beauty, actually.
0:30:46 > 0:30:48It's about what they actually bring
0:30:48 > 0:30:50and how they can help promote the transgender community.
0:30:50 > 0:30:53Right, so it will be about the message you can deliver, yeah.
0:30:53 > 0:30:55Yeah, and what you're prepared to do.
0:30:55 > 0:30:58I don't really mind getting into the nitty-gritty of everything.
0:30:58 > 0:31:00What do you mean, getting into the nitty-gritty?
0:31:00 > 0:31:02I don't really mind dealing with all the subjects
0:31:02 > 0:31:05- that people don't really like talking about...- Like what?
0:31:05 > 0:31:07Like I think escorting is a big issue
0:31:07 > 0:31:09with young transgender people.
0:31:09 > 0:31:11Speaking from personal experience, I was a child
0:31:11 > 0:31:14- and I didn't have no choice, I was homeless.- What, to become an escort?
0:31:14 > 0:31:16Well, yeah, and I'm sorry, but that is a big issue.
0:31:16 > 0:31:18People don't like talking about it
0:31:18 > 0:31:20because of the stigma that comes with that.
0:31:22 > 0:31:24Did you hear what the news reporter said?
0:31:24 > 0:31:26"So, are you saying, Courtney, do you agree..."
0:31:26 > 0:31:32I was on the train, "No! Why?" She nearly cried.
0:31:32 > 0:31:35Across town, the other contestants are at a photo shoot
0:31:35 > 0:31:37and have heard about Courtney's interview.
0:31:38 > 0:31:43The BBC didn't go exactly the way that I thought that it would
0:31:43 > 0:31:46and I feel that it might tarnish the reputation of the other girls
0:31:46 > 0:31:49who are not working in the adult industry
0:31:49 > 0:31:50and they're not escorts.
0:31:50 > 0:31:53Obviously, a lot of people aren't happy about it
0:31:53 > 0:31:57because now it's painted us all with the same brush.
0:31:57 > 0:32:00I've not done escorting, so...
0:32:00 > 0:32:02That's not what the competition is about
0:32:02 > 0:32:05and I really don't think that should be mentioned.
0:32:05 > 0:32:08It shouldn't have been mentioned
0:32:08 > 0:32:10and there was no reason for it to be mentioned.
0:32:10 > 0:32:14She wasn't asked the question. She just brought it up.
0:32:14 > 0:32:16I want to be a mum, I want children,
0:32:16 > 0:32:20I want to settle down and I would never want that remark on TV
0:32:20 > 0:32:22to then assume I could be doing the same job.
0:32:24 > 0:32:27People are kind of saying that I'm scandalising the competition
0:32:27 > 0:32:29by announcing that escorting
0:32:29 > 0:32:33is a big issue within the community, which it is.
0:32:33 > 0:32:35I'm just not going to have anyone beat me up
0:32:35 > 0:32:37about the mistakes that I've made.
0:32:37 > 0:32:39It's a few hours until the Midlands heat
0:32:39 > 0:32:43and Courtney's heard about the backlash to her TV appearance.
0:32:44 > 0:32:45I'm not going to sit there
0:32:45 > 0:32:48and just have that thrown in my face for the rest of my life.
0:32:48 > 0:32:49And I'm not perfect now
0:32:49 > 0:32:54and I'm not gonna say I'm perfect or Snow White, I never will be.
0:32:54 > 0:32:57I don't want to be that, either.
0:32:57 > 0:33:03I just want a bit more control over what is going on.
0:33:14 > 0:33:18- Right, first name?- Courtney.
0:33:18 > 0:33:21Any titles or awards you've achieved?
0:33:21 > 0:33:23No, I think being in this competition
0:33:23 > 0:33:24is my biggest achievement to date.
0:33:24 > 0:33:27I'm not really embarrassed about saying that.
0:33:28 > 0:33:31- Your life ambition. - To be a household name.
0:33:31 > 0:33:33Cross that out.
0:33:33 > 0:33:34Put to be a legend.
0:33:35 > 0:33:37It's the night of the Midlands heat
0:33:37 > 0:33:41and Courtney's mum has arrived just in time for the start of the show.
0:33:41 > 0:33:45OK, firstly, welcome to Miss Transgender UK 2015.
0:33:47 > 0:33:49What time does it start? In a minute?
0:33:49 > 0:33:50- What time?- It starts now!- Now?
0:33:50 > 0:33:52What the fuck?
0:33:52 > 0:33:54What am I going to wear? What is it?
0:33:54 > 0:33:57CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:34:03 > 0:34:04Oh, shit!
0:34:06 > 0:34:08Things aren't going to plan for Courtney.
0:34:08 > 0:34:11The talent round is already underway
0:34:11 > 0:34:13and she's only just started getting ready.
0:34:13 > 0:34:15No... No! Aaah!
0:34:17 > 0:34:19What the fuck?
0:34:19 > 0:34:23CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:34:26 > 0:34:29With seconds to go, Courtney takes the stage.
0:34:32 > 0:34:34SHE MIMES: # I've got the stuff that you want
0:34:34 > 0:34:37# I've got the thing that you need
0:34:37 > 0:34:39# I've got more than enough
0:34:39 > 0:34:41# To make you drop to your knees
0:34:41 > 0:34:44# Cos I'm the queen of the night
0:34:44 > 0:34:46# The queen of the night
0:34:46 > 0:34:47# Oh, yeah
0:34:47 > 0:34:49# Oh, yeah
0:34:49 > 0:34:51# Oh, yeah, yeah
0:34:51 > 0:34:53# I've got the stuff that you want
0:34:53 > 0:34:55# I've got the thing that you need
0:34:55 > 0:34:57# I've got more than enough
0:34:57 > 0:35:00# To make you drop to your knees
0:35:00 > 0:35:01# Oh, yeah
0:35:01 > 0:35:02# Oh, yeah
0:35:02 > 0:35:03# Oh, yeah
0:35:03 > 0:35:05# Oh, yeah, yeah
0:35:05 > 0:35:07# Cos I'm the queen of the night... #
0:35:07 > 0:35:09CHEERING
0:35:13 > 0:35:15SHE LAUGHS
0:35:15 > 0:35:17I think I did all right.
0:35:17 > 0:35:20By the reception I got from the crowd, I think I did all right.
0:35:22 > 0:35:24Did you see your mum in the audience?
0:35:24 > 0:35:25Yeah, she looked really proud.
0:35:28 > 0:35:30Before the judges decide on the winners,
0:35:30 > 0:35:31the contestants are given the chance
0:35:31 > 0:35:35to speak about themselves to the audience.
0:35:35 > 0:35:40The support that I've got from my friends and family has been overwhelming.
0:35:40 > 0:35:44It's been really, really nice. My mum's here tonight.
0:35:44 > 0:35:46Mum, I want you to appreciate what I want to say.
0:35:46 > 0:35:48You had me at 15 years old.
0:35:48 > 0:35:53You were in care and you gave birth to me and you never gave up on me
0:35:53 > 0:35:56and look where I am tonight. And I love you to bits.
0:35:56 > 0:35:58Yeah?
0:35:58 > 0:36:00APPLAUSE
0:36:02 > 0:36:04Scores added up, the results are in.
0:36:07 > 0:36:09CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:36:09 > 0:36:11Third place goes to Jossy from Derby.
0:36:13 > 0:36:17Second place for the judges was Talulah. Congratulations!
0:36:17 > 0:36:20CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:36:20 > 0:36:24Courtney is up against four others for the top prize.
0:36:27 > 0:36:29And in first place...
0:36:33 > 0:36:36..is Courtney. Congratulations!
0:36:36 > 0:36:40CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:36:55 > 0:36:59- You won, girl!- Hey, Mum!
0:36:59 > 0:37:02Oh, my God! I won!
0:37:02 > 0:37:05I thought I wasn't going to be people's favourite!
0:37:05 > 0:37:07Five years ago, she wouldn't even have thought about this.
0:37:07 > 0:37:09Last year, I wouldn't have done it.
0:37:09 > 0:37:12Not even last year, she wouldn't have thought about it,
0:37:12 > 0:37:13so she's come a long way, a long way.
0:37:13 > 0:37:16To get up the courage to do that and do what she did
0:37:16 > 0:37:18just tonight was amazing, really, wasn't it? Yeah.
0:37:18 > 0:37:22Unexpectedly, Fay arrives backstage.
0:37:22 > 0:37:24It's the first time they've seen each other
0:37:24 > 0:37:28since Fay criticised Courtney for speaking about escorting on TV.
0:37:28 > 0:37:30It doesn't matter about what they're doing, love.
0:37:30 > 0:37:36- She looks like a bulldog.- Ssh! That's not nice.- Why's she here?
0:37:36 > 0:37:40- She's come to... - Why's she here?- Courtney...
0:37:40 > 0:37:43Get the fuck out of here! You, out of the room!
0:37:43 > 0:37:45You, out of the room!
0:37:45 > 0:37:46You threatened me!
0:37:46 > 0:37:47You threatened me!
0:37:47 > 0:37:50I haven't threatened you! Why would I threaten to beat you up?
0:37:50 > 0:37:53- You look like Phil Mitchell with hair!- Stop it!- Great!
0:37:53 > 0:37:57- You like Phil Mitchell with hair! - Amazing!- You bulldog!
0:37:57 > 0:38:01And you've got the cheek to have a fucking vagina, right? Look at you!
0:38:03 > 0:38:05She's throwing things at us!
0:38:05 > 0:38:07Get them out! Get them out now!
0:38:07 > 0:38:09Listen, you're going to need to go.
0:38:09 > 0:38:13- Fuck off, you! - I don't even know you!
0:38:13 > 0:38:16- It's not Crufts! - This is a competition
0:38:16 > 0:38:18and this is trying to make people proud.
0:38:18 > 0:38:20You're a DISGRACE!
0:38:20 > 0:38:22Get her out, now!
0:38:22 > 0:38:25That crown should be removed from her head.
0:38:29 > 0:38:31It's the day after the Midlands heat.
0:38:31 > 0:38:35Following her fight with Fay, Courtney is out of the competition.
0:38:37 > 0:38:39What have the last couple of days been like for you?
0:38:39 > 0:38:42It's been really upsetting, really, because I didn't invite my friends
0:38:42 > 0:38:47and family to come to that kind of circus of a show.
0:38:49 > 0:38:51I'm not trying to say it is OK to act like that.
0:38:51 > 0:38:54Yeah, I wish that I would have dealt with it in a different way.
0:38:54 > 0:38:57Feeling upset and alone in London,
0:38:57 > 0:39:01Courtney has decided to travel back to Nottingham.
0:39:04 > 0:39:10'I thought that winning Miss Transgender would be a way
0:39:10 > 0:39:14'to leave the escorting world behind.
0:39:14 > 0:39:17'When I started escorting, I think the saddest thing
0:39:17 > 0:39:19'is that it did make me feel loved,
0:39:19 > 0:39:22'it made me feel wanted, it made me feel sexy
0:39:22 > 0:39:24'and made me feel a lot of things, powerful,
0:39:24 > 0:39:27'things that I'd never felt before, but then that's not love.
0:39:27 > 0:39:29'That's not love at all.
0:39:30 > 0:39:34'It's not fucking Pretty Woman and you're not Richard Gere
0:39:34 > 0:39:36'and I'm certainly not Julia Roberts.'
0:39:46 > 0:39:50Back in her hometown, Courtney is working as an escort again.
0:39:53 > 0:39:56'You're kind of like everyone's fantasy, really.
0:39:56 > 0:39:58'They're obviously wanting the female form,'
0:39:58 > 0:40:01but the fact that we've got something a little bit different,
0:40:01 > 0:40:05in one way, they crave it, but in the other way,
0:40:05 > 0:40:10they're ashamed to admit that that's what they like.
0:40:11 > 0:40:13I want to be someone's wife.
0:40:13 > 0:40:17You know, someone's home girl, not, like, just a fantasy.
0:40:17 > 0:40:20I'm tired of being that. It's boring now.
0:40:20 > 0:40:22Like, I want something meaningful.
0:40:22 > 0:40:26Someone who's going to love me back as much as I love them.
0:40:26 > 0:40:28But everyone is searching for that, aren't they?
0:40:28 > 0:40:31Everyone is searching for that and some people never find it.
0:40:31 > 0:40:33Maybe I'm like one of them. You never know.
0:40:33 > 0:40:36I'll just fill my life with loads of dogs and animals and stuff.
0:40:36 > 0:40:39I'll be like that old lady on the street, I think, sometimes.
0:40:39 > 0:40:41You know, just with loads of animals
0:40:41 > 0:40:43and nice shoes.
0:40:56 > 0:40:59I think, for the final, I've got to put in a lot more effort
0:40:59 > 0:41:03because these girls are top of each heat.
0:41:03 > 0:41:08So, there are, like, equal, on my par, because they won their heats.
0:41:09 > 0:41:15That's why I feel like I'm doing triple of what I'd done before.
0:41:15 > 0:41:17I want to win this.
0:41:17 > 0:41:19With five days to go until the final,
0:41:19 > 0:41:22a new prize has been announced that's proving controversial.
0:41:22 > 0:41:24Along with £5,000,
0:41:24 > 0:41:27the winner will be offered full gender reassignment surgery.
0:41:27 > 0:41:30But Jai is not sure if she wants the full op.
0:41:30 > 0:41:33Is this prize pressuring me into something
0:41:33 > 0:41:35that I might not actually want to do?
0:41:35 > 0:41:39Because I always know that, yes, I am female, but I think that
0:41:39 > 0:41:44my genitals don't identify me or make me more or less of a woman.
0:41:47 > 0:41:50It is dictating what a woman should be.
0:41:50 > 0:41:53It's sort of saying to us girls, well, to make yourself
0:41:53 > 0:41:57more of a woman, to be more accepted in society, here's a vagina.
0:42:04 > 0:42:07- You hide everything well, Jai. - I know.
0:42:07 > 0:42:11- Like, you wouldn't actually... There's nothing there.- Yeah.
0:42:11 > 0:42:14- At all.- I think... I tuck it away well.
0:42:15 > 0:42:17Best friend Heather was one of the first people Jai
0:42:17 > 0:42:20confided in about being transgender.
0:42:20 > 0:42:24Now, she wants advice on the next stage of her transition.
0:42:24 > 0:42:26So you're not going for the whole...?
0:42:26 > 0:42:27I'm still thinking about that.
0:42:27 > 0:42:29I don't know if I'm going to get it all done.
0:42:29 > 0:42:31You need to really think about it.
0:42:31 > 0:42:33Yeah, I'm going to proper really think about this.
0:42:33 > 0:42:36It's like getting your arm cut off. Something you've had all your life.
0:42:36 > 0:42:38When I start taking hormones and stuff,
0:42:38 > 0:42:41- it's going to stop working anyway. - Is it?- Yeah.
0:42:41 > 0:42:45So it's not going to work. So, it's sort of going to have, like...
0:42:46 > 0:42:49- Say if it was like an arm, it would be like...- A droopy arm!
0:42:49 > 0:42:51A droopy arm, so I can't use this arm,
0:42:51 > 0:42:54I can't do anything, so it's better to get rid of it
0:42:54 > 0:42:58than just have it like this extension on my body.
0:42:58 > 0:43:01At least you could have a vagina, but you'll not get periods.
0:43:01 > 0:43:03- That'd be great.- Aye.
0:43:03 > 0:43:04The Rolls-Royce of vaginas!
0:43:04 > 0:43:07LAUGHTER
0:43:07 > 0:43:10So, I'll have the best vagina!
0:43:10 > 0:43:11Exactly!
0:43:11 > 0:43:15But, then again, I'll have to see and wait,
0:43:15 > 0:43:17see how it goes and how I feel and things like that.
0:43:17 > 0:43:19Right now, I'm more 50/50.
0:43:19 > 0:43:22If you do, if you don't, it's not going to make a difference to us.
0:43:22 > 0:43:25We'll still get drunk and silly anyway. Yay!
0:43:33 > 0:43:36- Are my samples here?- Yes, yours are in the two tanks there.
0:43:36 > 0:43:40FAY GASPS
0:43:40 > 0:43:43Oh, my God! My babies are in there. That's so crazy!
0:43:45 > 0:43:48Fay is making a trip to visit the sperm bank.
0:43:48 > 0:43:51She's arranged a payment plan that will buy her more time
0:43:51 > 0:43:52to become a mum.
0:43:54 > 0:43:57It's such a relief to see them, because a week ago
0:43:57 > 0:44:00I was under the impression that they'd been destroyed.
0:44:06 > 0:44:09Each one of these boxes fits 100 samples.
0:44:11 > 0:44:15Yours should be position 53.
0:44:16 > 0:44:19So, one, two, three.
0:44:19 > 0:44:21One, two, three, four, five.
0:44:21 > 0:44:23FAY GASPS
0:44:23 > 0:44:24Oh, my God!
0:44:27 > 0:44:28This is so cool.
0:44:31 > 0:44:33Wow!
0:44:33 > 0:44:35Put them back in. Keep them safe!
0:44:35 > 0:44:41There's, like, 20 million kids in there potentially. I only want one.
0:44:41 > 0:44:42I'm fine with one.
0:44:46 > 0:44:53I feel really, really excited that my sperm is safe.
0:44:53 > 0:44:58And to visually see it in a little vial was so good.
0:44:58 > 0:45:03I think that is amazing. I actually feel like a mum-to-be.
0:45:11 > 0:45:15To be honest, I'm confident about this competition.
0:45:15 > 0:45:18I look at all the girls. It's like the Hunger Games. I'm out to kill.
0:45:18 > 0:45:20SHE GIGGLES
0:45:21 > 0:45:25It's the morning of the final and the contestants are travelling
0:45:25 > 0:45:27to London from all over the UK.
0:45:28 > 0:45:30- Do you want to win? - Of course I want to win.
0:45:30 > 0:45:33I wouldn't be in the competition if I didn't want to win.
0:45:33 > 0:45:37I'm confident with my dress. I think my dress is amazing.
0:45:37 > 0:45:40And I'm confident with the talent.
0:45:40 > 0:45:41I feel excited.
0:45:44 > 0:45:47There's 20 girls in Miss Transgender United.
0:45:47 > 0:45:48So, I'm like...
0:45:48 > 0:45:51If one wins, what does she have that stands out?
0:45:51 > 0:45:53So I'm like, what is it?
0:45:54 > 0:45:57I think I'm just going to try and bring my personality.
0:45:57 > 0:46:00If the judges don't like my personality, I'm fucked.
0:46:09 > 0:46:13Tonight, Jai and Fay will compete against the top transgender
0:46:13 > 0:46:15beauty queens from across the country.
0:46:16 > 0:46:18- How's my make-up? - It looks beautiful.
0:46:22 > 0:46:26Usually, the one thing I worry about most is my five o'clock shadow.
0:46:27 > 0:46:31So, even I think my make-up is looking quite good, like.
0:46:31 > 0:46:34There's a girl downstairs, she looks like she's got these,
0:46:34 > 0:46:35like, massive fairy wings
0:46:35 > 0:46:38and there are all diamantes and it's unbelievable.
0:46:38 > 0:46:40So, we need to smash them up!
0:46:40 > 0:46:41HOOT OF LAUGHTER
0:46:41 > 0:46:44Let's have a time check. We're going to start in half an hour.
0:46:44 > 0:46:46- Really?- Half an hour.
0:46:49 > 0:46:51I think this is anybody's game at the minute.
0:46:51 > 0:46:53All of these girls are the best 20
0:46:53 > 0:46:56that I can find from around the country.
0:46:56 > 0:46:58There's no badness in any of these girls
0:46:58 > 0:47:00so it really is anybody's game.
0:47:00 > 0:47:04In the final, points will be equally split between the talent round
0:47:04 > 0:47:05and the question round.
0:47:05 > 0:47:08The contestants must prove to the judges that they can be
0:47:08 > 0:47:11a role model for the transgender community.
0:47:11 > 0:47:13The questions is the bit that I'm most nervous about,
0:47:13 > 0:47:17because that's the bit that I find I'll stand out most
0:47:17 > 0:47:21out of all the other girls because, compared to everybody else,
0:47:21 > 0:47:22I do a lot of charity work.
0:47:22 > 0:47:26I'm like Mother Teresa compared to these girls, like.
0:47:26 > 0:47:28Basically, I'm Mother Teresa with a penis.
0:47:30 > 0:47:35Audience seated, the competition opens to a full house.
0:47:35 > 0:47:37Good evening, London!
0:47:37 > 0:47:38CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:47:38 > 0:47:40Are you ready?
0:47:40 > 0:47:42CHEERING
0:47:42 > 0:47:47I think before I start I'd like to explain why I did this,
0:47:47 > 0:47:50because I think that it has been confused between a general
0:47:50 > 0:47:54type of beauty pageant, which this is not.
0:47:54 > 0:47:58This is about finding ambassadors across the country
0:47:58 > 0:48:03that I can work with who will work for the community, that will help.
0:48:04 > 0:48:06So... Let's welcome them.
0:48:06 > 0:48:10CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:48:10 > 0:48:14As the talent round begins, Fay is one of the first to perform.
0:48:17 > 0:48:19Please welcome to the stage, Fay.
0:48:19 > 0:48:22APPLAUSE
0:48:25 > 0:48:27I don't believe it's only about beauty.
0:48:29 > 0:48:33To make changes in the world, you have to stand and say,
0:48:33 > 0:48:35"I am a transgendered female and proud."
0:48:37 > 0:48:38CHEERING
0:48:38 > 0:48:39Last up, it's Jai.
0:48:42 > 0:48:44Winning this pageant would change my life.
0:48:44 > 0:48:47I think I'd believe in myself more.
0:48:47 > 0:48:55I've had depression, anxiety, I've lost friends, I've felt alone.
0:48:57 > 0:49:01To win, I think a lot of people would see me and accept me more.
0:49:01 > 0:49:05I'd feel more confident in myself.
0:49:05 > 0:49:08CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:49:08 > 0:49:10Next, it's the question round
0:49:10 > 0:49:14and the last chance for the girls to impress the judges.
0:49:14 > 0:49:17I need to pee, but I'm scared in case I miss my cue.
0:49:23 > 0:49:26I think the hardest thing to do is to actually talk
0:49:26 > 0:49:27to my children about it.
0:49:27 > 0:49:31That's why I'm so happy and I'm so blessed and thankful.
0:49:31 > 0:49:35I am transgender, but my name is Fay, not the transgender girl,
0:49:35 > 0:49:36and I think...
0:49:36 > 0:49:38Take away all the...
0:49:38 > 0:49:40CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:49:40 > 0:49:43..glitter, and I wouldn't just want to be transgender.
0:49:43 > 0:49:45We're more than that. We're people.
0:49:45 > 0:49:51CHEERING
0:49:51 > 0:49:52It's sort of like...
0:49:52 > 0:49:54People may think I'm talking out of my bum hole right now
0:49:54 > 0:49:59because I'm like, "World peace and I want to kiss babies."
0:49:59 > 0:50:02But, the fact is, I do actually do all this stuff.
0:50:02 > 0:50:04I volunteer, I work hard.
0:50:04 > 0:50:07I want to be recognised for the hard work I do.
0:50:07 > 0:50:10APPLAUSE
0:50:13 > 0:50:15I don't feel I've done as best as I should have done.
0:50:15 > 0:50:18There's so many girls here that are, like, amazing.
0:50:18 > 0:50:22I don't think I've got it now. I honestly think I've lost.
0:50:22 > 0:50:24I don't even think I've placed.
0:50:24 > 0:50:26I just don't think I did good.
0:50:26 > 0:50:28And that's shit!
0:50:29 > 0:50:32I don't know. It just means so much to us.
0:50:32 > 0:50:35Performances over, the judges add up the scores for the last time.
0:50:35 > 0:50:39My ladies, pop onstage, please.
0:50:41 > 0:50:44CHEERING
0:50:44 > 0:50:46In third place...
0:50:48 > 0:50:50..is Fay Louise.
0:50:50 > 0:50:54CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:51:03 > 0:51:05In second place...
0:51:07 > 0:51:09..Daisy Bell.
0:51:11 > 0:51:15CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:51:15 > 0:51:16So, are you ready for the winner?
0:51:16 > 0:51:18AUDIENCE CHEERS
0:51:18 > 0:51:21Jai is still up against 17 others to win the crown.
0:51:26 > 0:51:28Jai.
0:51:29 > 0:51:35CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:51:54 > 0:51:55Speechless.
0:51:55 > 0:51:57I was really, like, quite downhearted for a bit
0:51:57 > 0:51:59and I didn't think I had any chance.
0:52:02 > 0:52:05I was not expecting that, that's for sure.
0:52:11 > 0:52:14But not everyone is happy that Jai has won.
0:52:14 > 0:52:16Some of the contestants think that she's not far enough
0:52:16 > 0:52:18in her transition to be worthy of the crown.
0:52:22 > 0:52:23And so is Jai.
0:52:23 > 0:52:25I'm just phoning to say that I won.
0:52:25 > 0:52:27- Oh, brilliant!- Yeah.
0:52:27 > 0:52:28Fantastic!
0:52:30 > 0:52:34I sort of, like, can't get my head around the idea that I've just one.
0:52:42 > 0:52:44Jai is... Why?
0:52:44 > 0:52:47Stop fucking arguing. Seriously!
0:52:47 > 0:52:48Exactly!
0:52:48 > 0:52:50You're meant to be fucking women.
0:52:50 > 0:52:52You're acting like fucking men in a pub. Seriously!
0:52:52 > 0:52:53Exactly!
0:52:53 > 0:52:57You need to not think that. Because once...
0:52:57 > 0:53:02Once, I was a little boy in a wig and I wasn't a gay boy.
0:53:02 > 0:53:03I was just starting out.
0:53:05 > 0:53:07I understand you wanted to win. I understand.
0:53:08 > 0:53:11You don't know what she's been through.
0:53:11 > 0:53:12Really?
0:53:13 > 0:53:17It's not long before Jai hears about the fight.
0:53:17 > 0:53:20"I can't believe she won. She's nothing but a gay boy in a wig."
0:53:20 > 0:53:22- Who the fuck does she think she is? - Exactly.
0:53:22 > 0:53:25Well, I'm a gay boy with a fucking fanny and tits if that's the case
0:53:25 > 0:53:28because I come from where you come from.
0:53:28 > 0:53:30So they don't think I should...?
0:53:30 > 0:53:33- They're just sore losers, honey. - Basically.
0:53:36 > 0:53:39Winning this title has made me way more confident
0:53:39 > 0:53:43and so much closer to actually just living my dream
0:53:43 > 0:53:45and being a part of, like...
0:53:47 > 0:53:48..just being me.
0:53:49 > 0:53:54CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:54:00 > 0:54:02I didn't win the cash prize to start me on my journey,
0:54:02 > 0:54:04but obviously my journey is not over
0:54:04 > 0:54:08and I want to take the next step, so I've set up a GoFundMe page.
0:54:08 > 0:54:11Fay is hoping her fundraising page will help her raise money
0:54:11 > 0:54:13for a surrogate.
0:54:13 > 0:54:16But it's attracted more attention than she'd hoped for.
0:54:16 > 0:54:20There are 16 comments on this page and every single one is negative.
0:54:20 > 0:54:24"It's his fault if he has messed himself up."
0:54:24 > 0:54:26"It goes against Mother Nature."
0:54:26 > 0:54:30"Too Frankenstein-ish, to say the least."
0:54:33 > 0:54:36I suppose my whole entire life, I've compared cared about what
0:54:36 > 0:54:42people say and for the first time, I just really couldn't give a damn.
0:54:42 > 0:54:45Courtney has decided to move back permanently to her
0:54:45 > 0:54:47hometown of Nottingham.
0:54:47 > 0:54:50I think I was running away from a lot of things.
0:54:50 > 0:54:52It's got really lonely for me.
0:54:52 > 0:54:54The sort of world I'm moving in...
0:54:54 > 0:54:59Sex workers, it felt like sometimes they were the only people
0:54:59 > 0:55:01who would come around and see me.
0:55:01 > 0:55:05I don't want to escort any more. I want a stable life.
0:55:06 > 0:55:09There have been some positive things come out of it.
0:55:09 > 0:55:12Like, I'm not on hard-core drugs, you know?
0:55:12 > 0:55:13I'm on the right path.
0:55:18 > 0:55:22In Scotland, the newly-crowned Miss Transgender UK isn't letting
0:55:22 > 0:55:24the drama of the final get her down.
0:55:26 > 0:55:29People say to me that I shouldn't have won this crown
0:55:29 > 0:55:32because I've not struggled.
0:55:32 > 0:55:37They see me as this early stage gay boy in a wig
0:55:37 > 0:55:39and they're slagging me off.
0:55:39 > 0:55:43At the end of the day, we all started off gay boys in wigs.
0:55:43 > 0:55:46Jai has had some time to think about the prize of gender
0:55:46 > 0:55:47reassignment surgery.
0:55:47 > 0:55:51- And she's made up her mind. - I don't want a vagina.
0:55:52 > 0:55:56Getting a vagina doesn't make me more or less of a woman.
0:55:56 > 0:55:58I'm a girl at the end of the day. I was just born with a dick.
0:55:58 > 0:55:59That's it.
0:56:22 > 0:56:26MUSIC: Changing by Sigma, Featuring Paloma Faith