How Prejudiced Are We?

Download Subtitles

Transcript

0:00:04 > 0:00:07I'm Cherry Healey and in the last few years,

0:00:07 > 0:00:09my life has been turned on its head.

0:00:09 > 0:00:11I've gone from this...

0:00:11 > 0:00:12to this...

0:00:12 > 0:00:14BABY CRIES

0:00:14 > 0:00:16..and then to this.

0:00:16 > 0:00:19I don't know about you, but I sometimes feel like the world

0:00:19 > 0:00:23is running away from me and it's high time I caught up.

0:00:23 > 0:00:28So I'm determined to get some answers to life's fundamental questions -

0:00:28 > 0:00:30does my bum look big in this?

0:00:30 > 0:00:32Am I too old to take drugs?

0:00:32 > 0:00:34Do I need a Brazilian?

0:00:36 > 0:00:38Today I want to find out how prejudiced we are

0:00:38 > 0:00:41in a politically correct world.

0:00:41 > 0:00:46We know we should be open-minded - most of us like to think we are open-minded,

0:00:46 > 0:00:48but on some level, don't we all judge a book by its cover?

0:00:50 > 0:00:53I'll be meeting a cast of characters who challenge

0:00:53 > 0:00:57our preconceptions about everything, from racism...

0:00:57 > 0:01:02- You almost want to go up and shake them and say, "I'm not a terrorist, I'm a Sikh!"- And sexism...

0:01:02 > 0:01:06"Do you do the clock-in?" No, Gran, I go on the fire engine and go out to fires.

0:01:06 > 0:01:09- To homophobia... - We were disgusting lesbians.

0:01:09 > 0:01:10And disability.

0:01:10 > 0:01:13Which of this lot do you think carries a knife?

0:01:13 > 0:01:16And who's the most likely to be a porn star?

0:01:16 > 0:01:20I'll be finding out when I get a taste of life in their world.

0:01:20 > 0:01:24Sorry... I just feel like such a wet baby.

0:01:24 > 0:01:27Then I'll be inviting them into mine and bringing them back to my hub -

0:01:27 > 0:01:32my base for the next few months - in a bid to get them to confess all.

0:01:32 > 0:01:36What is the worst case of prejudice you've encountered?

0:01:36 > 0:01:39Assuming I'm mentally retarded because I'm in a wheelchair.

0:01:39 > 0:01:43Women in particular saying "I'd be really disappointed if you rescued me."

0:01:43 > 0:01:46You'd be in a burning building, and I would drag you outside,

0:01:46 > 0:01:50I'd take my mask off, and you'd go... "Oh my God, you're a woman! Throw me back in!"

0:01:50 > 0:01:53Will any of them change the way they live their lives as a result?

0:01:53 > 0:01:55How would it make you feel?

0:01:55 > 0:01:58I can't really say the words on camera, but I'd be really annoyed.

0:01:58 > 0:01:59'Or will the change be all mine?'

0:01:59 > 0:02:02What does that say about me?

0:02:02 > 0:02:05That I'm that surprised that she's still really overtly sexual.

0:02:17 > 0:02:19Like it or not, we all have preconceptions.

0:02:19 > 0:02:22I wonder what you see when you look at me?

0:02:22 > 0:02:25I'm white, middle-class and a woman.

0:02:25 > 0:02:27I bet you think I did ballet when I was growing up.

0:02:27 > 0:02:29Well, that's where you'd be wrong.

0:02:29 > 0:02:33I was in a crew called Motion Sickness

0:02:33 > 0:02:37and we even were a supporting act for Ice T.

0:02:39 > 0:02:41I'm a LITTLE bit rusty.

0:02:43 > 0:02:45# Electric boogie

0:02:45 > 0:02:47CHEERING

0:02:47 > 0:02:49# Dance

0:02:57 > 0:02:59# Freeze

0:02:59 > 0:03:01# I'm going home

0:03:04 > 0:03:06# Just dance

0:03:06 > 0:03:08CHEERING

0:03:14 > 0:03:16# Dance... #

0:03:16 > 0:03:19Oh... Oh, I feel old!

0:03:25 > 0:03:27# Break dance... #

0:03:28 > 0:03:34I think I was rebelling against my really safe and conventional middle-class family.

0:03:34 > 0:03:36# Everybody on the floor. #

0:03:39 > 0:03:41I liked breaking people's preconceptions.

0:03:41 > 0:03:45When they found out that I was a girl and quite...middle-class

0:03:45 > 0:03:50and a break-dancer, that was quite fun, watching people's surprise.

0:03:50 > 0:03:52# There's no stopping love

0:03:52 > 0:03:53# No stopping

0:03:55 > 0:03:57# No-one does it better

0:03:57 > 0:03:58# No-one does it better

0:03:58 > 0:04:00# There's no stopping love. #

0:04:00 > 0:04:04And I had a B-girl name - I was B-girl Wiley Kit.

0:04:04 > 0:04:07I did not choose it, OK? It has to be given to you.

0:04:07 > 0:04:09It's not my choice.

0:04:10 > 0:04:14And at that age, it made me feel like I had my own identity.

0:04:14 > 0:04:18OK, so my brand of girl power might have owed more to

0:04:18 > 0:04:21the Spice Girls than Germaine Greer, but to this day,

0:04:21 > 0:04:25I firmly believe that women can do anything they want.

0:04:27 > 0:04:30But it's one thing to challenge stereotypes when it comes to

0:04:30 > 0:04:34your hobby, it's quite another to do it day-in, day-out.

0:04:35 > 0:04:39I'm in South Wales to meet a woman who holds her own in a man's world

0:04:39 > 0:04:42and risks her life in the process.

0:04:43 > 0:04:4721-year-old Rebecca joined the Fire Service at 17,

0:04:47 > 0:04:49following in her father's footsteps.

0:04:51 > 0:04:55She's one of just 4% of female firefighters in the UK.

0:04:55 > 0:05:00I want to find out what life is like for her in such a male-dominated job.

0:05:00 > 0:05:03- Hello, you Rebecca?- I am, yes. - Nice to meet you, I'm Cherry.

0:05:03 > 0:05:05'And I can't believe I'm finally going to realise

0:05:05 > 0:05:08'one of my lifelong ambitions...'

0:05:08 > 0:05:12- Oh, wicked!- Want to jump on first? - After you.

0:05:13 > 0:05:16I'm going inside a fire engine!

0:05:21 > 0:05:22Bloody Nora.

0:05:22 > 0:05:25Wow! And it's rock solid.

0:05:25 > 0:05:27Feel there - go on.

0:05:27 > 0:05:30Oh, my God, you've got a six-pack!

0:05:30 > 0:05:32My baby's younger than yours.

0:05:32 > 0:05:33- Have you got a kid?- Yeah!

0:05:33 > 0:05:36- No way! How old?- He's 21 months old.

0:05:36 > 0:05:39Oh, my God. What...?

0:05:39 > 0:05:41How is that possible?

0:05:41 > 0:05:45- Do you do lots of sit-ups? - Yes.- Yes, I bet you do! I BET you do!

0:05:45 > 0:05:47I need to do a few more!

0:05:48 > 0:05:52How do the guys react to you, other firefighters?

0:05:52 > 0:05:54When I first meet people, you can sense the sort of,

0:05:54 > 0:05:57"there's a girl in the room..."

0:05:57 > 0:05:59Like a big white elephant in the corner, going rah!

0:05:59 > 0:06:02It takes them a few minutes, then I think they get to know me

0:06:02 > 0:06:05and go, "oh, you're just like us". And I go, "yeah".

0:06:05 > 0:06:08It's members of the public who get shocked more than firefighters.

0:06:10 > 0:06:12'And I can understand why.

0:06:12 > 0:06:16'We're so conditioned to think of physical work as men's work,

0:06:16 > 0:06:18'how does Rebecca do it?

0:06:18 > 0:06:20'And can I keep up?'

0:06:20 > 0:06:23Oh, my God, I've always wanted to see one of these!

0:06:27 > 0:06:30- They really exist!- Yeah! And we use them, as well!

0:06:30 > 0:06:31- No way.- Yeah!

0:06:34 > 0:06:38Oh, God, I've got the fear - just don't have the fear. Just go.

0:06:38 > 0:06:39Oh, God!

0:06:39 > 0:06:42HANDS SQUEAK AGAINST POLE

0:06:42 > 0:06:44Smooth.

0:06:46 > 0:06:48I love them!

0:06:50 > 0:06:52'And we're off.'

0:06:54 > 0:06:57Here we go... Whoo!

0:06:57 > 0:06:59SIREN WAILS

0:07:03 > 0:07:07Today, I'm an honorary member of Red Watch and they're taking me on

0:07:07 > 0:07:10a training exercise, to show me what it takes to become a firefighter.

0:07:11 > 0:07:13- 'How hard can it be?' - SHE YELPS

0:07:16 > 0:07:17It's really heavy!

0:07:17 > 0:07:21These spreaders - mainly used to rescue people from car wrecks -

0:07:21 > 0:07:23are heavier than your average baggage allowance.

0:07:29 > 0:07:32- OK?- Yeah.- Want a little rest?- No.

0:07:32 > 0:07:34You don't rest, so I won't.

0:07:35 > 0:07:39Even the hose weighs nearly twice as much as my two-year-old.

0:07:40 > 0:07:44SHE SHOUTS ORDERS

0:07:47 > 0:07:48Oh, my God.

0:07:48 > 0:07:51If you're squirting this water onto a barn fire,

0:07:51 > 0:07:54you could be stood there quite a while.

0:07:54 > 0:07:56- How long is quite a while? - Till the fire's out.- Wow.

0:07:58 > 0:08:01- Pull them out. Towards you. - Oh!- Got it?

0:08:01 > 0:08:03Whoo!

0:08:03 > 0:08:04I got water in my boot.

0:08:04 > 0:08:05Water in your boot?

0:08:05 > 0:08:10'I'm shattered, even after this basic training exercise.

0:08:10 > 0:08:14'I can't begin to imagine how I'd cope in a real emergency.'

0:08:14 > 0:08:18Look, I work out. I, like, thought I was really fit.

0:08:20 > 0:08:21SHE GRUNTS

0:08:25 > 0:08:29That is really tiring. I'm not going to give up my day job.

0:08:31 > 0:08:34Why are people so surprised when they hear you're firefighter?

0:08:34 > 0:08:39Society as a whole, we've tried to split men and women up so much.

0:08:39 > 0:08:43I still have it from little ones all the way up to the older generations.

0:08:43 > 0:08:46People are still sometimes a little bit shocked.

0:08:46 > 0:08:50If it's a kid in a classroom, going, "you are definitely a lady, aren't you?"

0:08:50 > 0:08:52It's like, yes, I'm a lady. "But you're a fireman!"

0:08:52 > 0:08:54No, I'm a firefighter. "What's the difference?"

0:08:54 > 0:08:57Well, I'm a lady, aren't I? "Oh, yeah."

0:08:57 > 0:09:00And then, like my grandmother, she couldn't believe that

0:09:00 > 0:09:03I was going to be a firefighter, she was like, "so you answer phones?"

0:09:03 > 0:09:05No, Gran. "You're not in the control room?" No, Gran.

0:09:05 > 0:09:08"So do you do the clock-in? And the cleaning?"

0:09:08 > 0:09:10No, Gran - I go on the fire engine and go out to fires.

0:09:10 > 0:09:12And she just sat there, like...

0:09:12 > 0:09:14"Well, you couldn't do that in my day."

0:09:17 > 0:09:20With only 1,700 female firefighters currently

0:09:20 > 0:09:23working in Britain, I want to know what the men on Rebecca's watch

0:09:23 > 0:09:27think about having a woman on their team.

0:09:29 > 0:09:33- Have you worked very much with women?- First time for me.

0:09:33 > 0:09:36I've been in the job 21 years and for Becky to come here, yes,

0:09:36 > 0:09:37it was a bit of a change.

0:09:37 > 0:09:41But a change for the better, I think. It's good for the dynamics of the watch.

0:09:41 > 0:09:45You've got to be diverse and encourage them into the job anyway.

0:09:45 > 0:09:48- Why do you think there aren't very many girls?- For years,

0:09:48 > 0:09:51it was a male-orientated and dominated society.

0:09:51 > 0:09:54And I think a lot of women just don't want to do it.

0:09:54 > 0:09:58- Yeah.- I mean, you've done a bit this morning. Would you want to do it?- No. - Well, there we are.

0:10:01 > 0:10:05Now the watch want me and Rebecca to take part in one of their

0:10:05 > 0:10:10toughest training exercises - to rescue a dummy body from a building.

0:10:10 > 0:10:13We have to wear masks and breathing apparatus

0:10:13 > 0:10:16to simulate operating in smoky conditions.

0:10:16 > 0:10:19Inside, it's pitch black.

0:10:23 > 0:10:27So this heat-seeking camera is the only way to keep track of us.

0:10:34 > 0:10:35Now we've found the 10-stone dummy,

0:10:35 > 0:10:38we have to manoeuvre it through a narrow pipe.

0:10:58 > 0:10:59'It's been very tough,

0:10:59 > 0:11:03'but a real-life situation would be much tougher.'

0:11:03 > 0:11:05Oh, my God.

0:11:05 > 0:11:06I don't know how you do that.

0:11:06 > 0:11:11You imagine ramping that up, with the heat, the smoke...

0:11:11 > 0:11:13Now perhaps the husband's turned up from work...

0:11:13 > 0:11:17"Have you got my wife and children out? I know they're still in there."

0:11:17 > 0:11:20And also, the crews then are going to enter that risk area.

0:11:20 > 0:11:21Sorry...

0:11:21 > 0:11:25I know they're still in there, because the husband is telling you they're still in there.

0:11:25 > 0:11:29I don't know how you do that. Sorry, I'm just...

0:11:29 > 0:11:31I just feel like such a wet baby.

0:11:32 > 0:11:34It's just a dummy. I don't know how you do that.

0:11:34 > 0:11:38It's really, really claustrophobic and panicky and you can't go through

0:11:38 > 0:11:41small spaces really easily, so I felt like I was going to get stuck.

0:11:41 > 0:11:46Then you get to the end and there's a body there and it's just a dummy,

0:11:46 > 0:11:48but that's a real person if it's...

0:11:48 > 0:11:51And you can't get them out... And they're really heavy.

0:11:51 > 0:11:55And I just can't imagine what it must be like with fire and heat.

0:11:55 > 0:11:57It's really hard not to have a bit of a panic.

0:11:58 > 0:12:00'I'm ashamed at my reaction.

0:12:00 > 0:12:04'I feel like I've let Rebecca down, but now I understand that

0:12:04 > 0:12:08'the hardest part of her job isn't physical, it's psychological.

0:12:08 > 0:12:11'Later on, I'll be spending time with Rebecca's family,

0:12:11 > 0:12:15'to find out how she combines her dangerous job with being a mum.'

0:12:18 > 0:12:21But now, much as I hate to admit it,

0:12:21 > 0:12:24I'm off to confront one of my own prejudices.

0:12:26 > 0:12:30I thought I was pretty open-minded and was comfortable with most things

0:12:30 > 0:12:33but last year, I made a programme about virginity and

0:12:33 > 0:12:37I met a woman in a wheelchair who was really sexually experimental.

0:12:37 > 0:12:39I've got a box of toys...

0:12:39 > 0:12:43I've got bed restraints on my bed!

0:12:43 > 0:12:46I've even been handcuffed to my chair.

0:12:46 > 0:12:48- The threesome was quite nice! - What?!

0:12:48 > 0:12:52It's really challenged me, and I found myself asking,

0:12:52 > 0:12:56can a woman in a wheelchair really be that sexually liberated?

0:12:58 > 0:13:02I'm not alone in feeling uncomfortable mentioning sexuality

0:13:02 > 0:13:04and disability in the same breath.

0:13:04 > 0:13:09Even though there are 1.2 million wheelchair users in the UK,

0:13:09 > 0:13:1270% of us wouldn't consider having sex with someone

0:13:12 > 0:13:13who has a physical disability.

0:13:16 > 0:13:21And only 4% admit to having had a disabled sexual partner.

0:13:21 > 0:13:24Statistics like these are just the tip of the iceberg.

0:13:30 > 0:13:34So I'm off to Wales to meet a woman who I hope will challenge me

0:13:34 > 0:13:37to see disability differently.

0:13:39 > 0:13:41Alison is 31.

0:13:41 > 0:13:43Four years ago, her life changed forever,

0:13:43 > 0:13:47when she fell out of a window at a friend's party.

0:13:49 > 0:13:51I came around being strapped into the ambulance,

0:13:51 > 0:13:53but I was told I didn't lose consciousness,

0:13:53 > 0:13:57but I don't remember anything from outside the window to the ambulance.

0:13:57 > 0:14:00One of the girls that came with me in the ambulance,

0:14:00 > 0:14:03she heard them say, (she's not going to walk again).

0:14:03 > 0:14:06Apparently, I was under for six hours, I haemorrhaged,

0:14:06 > 0:14:08they said I could have died. Anyway,

0:14:08 > 0:14:11I think "I wish you'd just let me." It's easier.

0:14:13 > 0:14:15Alison lost the use of her lower body

0:14:15 > 0:14:18and now relies on a wheelchair to get around.

0:14:18 > 0:14:19What she finds most difficult

0:14:19 > 0:14:22is how people's behaviour towards her has changed.

0:14:24 > 0:14:26Sometimes people come up to you

0:14:26 > 0:14:29and they seem to think they can just ask you what happened.

0:14:29 > 0:14:33I don't want to be reminded of the day that I ruined my life.

0:14:33 > 0:14:37It's just more that sometimes people pity me.

0:14:37 > 0:14:42Degrading, really. They think they've done some good deed, talking to the girl in the wheelchair

0:14:42 > 0:14:45or they know exactly what it's like for me, and I'm like...

0:14:45 > 0:14:47You haven't got a clue.

0:14:47 > 0:14:50You know, I might look like I'm gliding about like an angel

0:14:50 > 0:14:54on wheels, but every day I wake up, there's a wheelchair next to my bed.

0:15:06 > 0:15:09I've come to meet Alison at her home near Caerphilly.

0:15:18 > 0:15:21- Hiya, you Alison?- Hiya.- Cherry.- Hi! - Nice to meet you.

0:15:21 > 0:15:22Nice to meet you, too.

0:15:24 > 0:15:28Now, do you want any help, or is that...like...

0:15:28 > 0:15:33- If I wanted help, I'd ask for it. - Is that how it is... Like...

0:15:33 > 0:15:36I don't like it when people... People do it all the time anyway.

0:15:36 > 0:15:39Whether or not you can walk. Um...

0:15:39 > 0:15:41Like sometimes I'll just be sat about and they'll be like,

0:15:41 > 0:15:43"Do you want a hand?"

0:15:43 > 0:15:47I'm like, a hand with what? I'm fine, thanks. If I ask for it, it's fine.

0:15:47 > 0:15:50What was it like going out before the accident, compared to now?

0:15:50 > 0:15:54Everything is like, a bit of a hassle, you know?

0:15:54 > 0:15:58I've got to get dressed - that'll take me like, a day.

0:15:58 > 0:16:01Then going to the car, trying to keep everything on your lap.

0:16:01 > 0:16:03Got to get the wheelchair in, wheelchair out.

0:16:03 > 0:16:05I wish, just for five seconds, I could walk,

0:16:05 > 0:16:08so I could run in the house, pick something up and come out.

0:16:08 > 0:16:11I have no idea what it's like, but I think the logistics would piss me off.

0:16:11 > 0:16:16Yes, the whole being unable to walk thing, that, like...

0:16:16 > 0:16:18That doesn't bother me. It's the little things.

0:16:18 > 0:16:22Have you been particularly mindful to keep your independence?

0:16:22 > 0:16:24Yes, I'm quite vehement about it.

0:16:24 > 0:16:27As soon as I got a car, it's like...

0:16:27 > 0:16:30It's like I'm trying to spite my wheelchair.

0:16:30 > 0:16:33Like, you're not going to control me and rule my life.

0:16:35 > 0:16:38'I'm keen to see how Alison deals with something

0:16:38 > 0:16:40'as basic as a trip to the shops.

0:16:40 > 0:16:43'So we're off to her local high street,

0:16:43 > 0:16:45'where we quickly encounter our first obstacle.

0:16:48 > 0:16:50'And it seems it's my attitude.'

0:16:51 > 0:16:54When we came in the shop, I wasn't sure whether you wanted my help or not.

0:16:54 > 0:16:58- I mean, in that situation, is it a case where you'll just ask if you need it?- Yes, I'll ask.

0:16:58 > 0:17:01I can see the steps. Like, "Bump me in".

0:17:01 > 0:17:05When you go clothes shopping, do you try the clothes on?

0:17:05 > 0:17:06No, it's too much hard work.

0:17:06 > 0:17:10A lot of places haven't got wheelchair-accessible changing rooms anyway.

0:17:10 > 0:17:12What are the real difficulties with shopping now?

0:17:12 > 0:17:14There's not enough room.

0:17:14 > 0:17:18Sometimes shops put things on the floor and it would be easy

0:17:18 > 0:17:22if you can walk. It's not a particularly big chair, anyway, but...

0:17:22 > 0:17:24I wouldn't have a problem getting round here.

0:17:24 > 0:17:29But in some shops, even the chains, they've got displays,

0:17:29 > 0:17:32and I'm like, how am I going to... buy my milk?

0:17:34 > 0:17:35- Do you want help?- Hang on.

0:17:35 > 0:17:38Just a minute, cos I've got to stay in a wheelie.

0:17:40 > 0:17:41Whoa!

0:17:41 > 0:17:44Whoo-hoo! Yes, and I'm out!

0:17:44 > 0:17:46SHE LAUGHS

0:17:50 > 0:17:53After witnessing the challenges that shopping presents,

0:17:53 > 0:17:54it's time for a bit of pampering -

0:17:54 > 0:17:58the perfect opportunity to find out more about Alison.

0:17:58 > 0:18:01- So do you like to pamper yourself? - Yes, I do.

0:18:01 > 0:18:03I used to get it all done before I broke my back.

0:18:03 > 0:18:07Just helps me feel more like myself, more like an attractive woman.

0:18:07 > 0:18:10- Is your appearance important to you? - Yes, it is.

0:18:10 > 0:18:12I want to look in the mirror and I want to like what I see.

0:18:12 > 0:18:16Has it been hard to get used to the wheelchair in terms of aesthetic appearance?

0:18:16 > 0:18:18Yes, it has, because the whole body shape changes.

0:18:18 > 0:18:21I look in the mirror and see my legs are skinny

0:18:21 > 0:18:24and I don't fancy that.

0:18:24 > 0:18:26What did you do for work before you broke your back?

0:18:26 > 0:18:31I used to work full-time in a bank...

0:18:31 > 0:18:35and then I started doing work in lap-dancing clubs,

0:18:35 > 0:18:36so I was a pole dancer.

0:18:36 > 0:18:39Went into private work,

0:18:39 > 0:18:41like house parties and things.

0:18:41 > 0:18:45- Were you a strip-o-gram? - I was a stripper.

0:18:45 > 0:18:47I was a stripper!

0:18:47 > 0:18:50- Yeah.- Oh, wow.- I worked on the channels, I've done porn.

0:18:50 > 0:18:57- A glamour model, a stripper and a porn star?- Yes.- God.

0:18:58 > 0:19:01- And then they took it all away from me.- What do you mean by that?

0:19:01 > 0:19:03It was all taken away, you know?

0:19:03 > 0:19:06Like, I still do photo shoots and things. I've got my own website

0:19:06 > 0:19:10for people who've got preferences for ladies in wheelchairs.

0:19:10 > 0:19:12I haven't even got to get naked for it.

0:19:12 > 0:19:15It's just encapsulating the disability.

0:19:19 > 0:19:22I've really enjoyed meeting Alison.

0:19:22 > 0:19:27I want to say that I find her attitude of "business as usual"

0:19:27 > 0:19:31really inspiring, but I also know from today that Alison would

0:19:31 > 0:19:36find that really patronising, as though, why would she not want

0:19:36 > 0:19:38to feel attractive and womanly,

0:19:38 > 0:19:40just cos she was in a wheelchair?

0:19:40 > 0:19:45I have been really surprised at the news that she used to be

0:19:45 > 0:19:49a porn star and that she still is...

0:19:49 > 0:19:51doing porn.

0:19:51 > 0:19:53But what does that say about me?

0:19:53 > 0:19:56That I'm that surprised that she's still really overtly sexual?

0:19:58 > 0:20:01Spending time with Alison has definitely opened my eyes,

0:20:01 > 0:20:04but my open-mindedness is going to be put to the test later,

0:20:04 > 0:20:07when she reveals all about her porn career.

0:20:09 > 0:20:14First, I'm heading to South London to meet someone who's not quite what they seem.

0:20:14 > 0:20:1826-year-old Shavell is a dancer from Brixton,

0:20:18 > 0:20:21but not the sort you might imagine.

0:20:21 > 0:20:26MUSIC: "The Montagues and Capulets" from Romeo and Juliet by Prokofiev

0:20:26 > 0:20:30He's a member of the English National Ballet's corps de ballet.

0:20:30 > 0:20:33They're currently rehearsing for a performance of The Rite Of Spring.

0:20:42 > 0:20:43Pliee, slide,

0:20:43 > 0:20:45da dee da da da duh...

0:20:48 > 0:20:52MUSIC: "Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy" by Tchaikovsky

0:21:00 > 0:21:04Three words - buns of steel.

0:21:05 > 0:21:07SHE MOUTHS

0:21:07 > 0:21:10'After this, I want a ticket!'

0:21:15 > 0:21:18(How can anyone be that stretchy?)

0:21:18 > 0:21:21While I was rebelling against my upbringing by pretending

0:21:21 > 0:21:23I was from the street, man,

0:21:23 > 0:21:27Shavell was rebelling against HIS in the opposite direction.

0:21:27 > 0:21:31Now he's one of only two black ballet dancers in the UK.

0:21:48 > 0:21:51Ooh! Should have brought my legwarmers!

0:21:52 > 0:21:58- So where did you grow up? - I grew up in Brixton, Angell Town.

0:21:58 > 0:22:02It was quite notorious for, you know, gangs and...

0:22:02 > 0:22:06- drugs and whatnot. - So when did you start doing ballet?

0:22:06 > 0:22:11I was in primary school, thinking I was going into a PE lesson,

0:22:11 > 0:22:14and it wasn't, it was an audition.

0:22:14 > 0:22:17I just thought, OK - this is a weird PE lesson.

0:22:17 > 0:22:21- I was just going through the motions.- Kind of enjoying it cos it was a bit of a laugh?

0:22:21 > 0:22:25It was just a new thing. I was always someone who wanted to do something.

0:22:25 > 0:22:30So that was just another hobby which...took me off the streets.

0:22:32 > 0:22:36At the age of 11, he became the first black student ever

0:22:36 > 0:22:39to win a scholarship to the prestigious Royal Ballet School

0:22:39 > 0:22:44in Richmond, only ten miles away from home, but worlds apart.

0:22:47 > 0:22:49His friend Daniel remembers what it was like for Shavell.

0:22:51 > 0:22:53Shavell was definitely out of his comfort zone.

0:22:53 > 0:22:57This different atmosphere, the 2½ hours of concentration and ballet,

0:22:57 > 0:23:02it was just different for everyone, but perhaps more different for him.

0:23:02 > 0:23:06Have you ever seen Shavell being a victim of prejudice?

0:23:06 > 0:23:10Once, in a club, there was a whole group of us

0:23:10 > 0:23:13and he got stopped and searched and taken into a back room.

0:23:13 > 0:23:17Needless to say, he didn't have any, but he was stopped and searched and the rest of the group wasn't.

0:23:21 > 0:23:25Suddenly, it wasn't just this black Billy Elliot's dance moves

0:23:25 > 0:23:27that were being judged.

0:23:29 > 0:23:32I used to get told off so many times from friends.

0:23:32 > 0:23:37You can't say "wa'er", it's WATER. You can't say innit, it's ISN'T IT.

0:23:37 > 0:23:41But then I'll go home and people will be like, Shav, you're so posh!

0:23:41 > 0:23:44Like, you're saying WATER and ISN'T IT!

0:23:44 > 0:23:47You know, you sound like a white man, all this sort of stuff,

0:23:47 > 0:23:49and you'll just be like, oh, Jesus!

0:23:49 > 0:23:52You know, some of the stuff they were saying was a little bit cruel.

0:23:52 > 0:23:56- What did they say?- You know, ballet's for girls, ballet's for poofs...

0:23:56 > 0:23:59You try to please everyone, do you know what I mean?

0:23:59 > 0:24:00How did you deal with that?

0:24:00 > 0:24:04Because you must have only been eight, nine at the time?

0:24:04 > 0:24:09Ignore them. That was the only thing you could really do.

0:24:09 > 0:24:14Ignoring them and... I did sometimes get quite upset.

0:24:14 > 0:24:16At one point, I was going to stop,

0:24:16 > 0:24:20but a friend of mine actually said, "no, stick with it.

0:24:20 > 0:24:24"The other children don't know what they're talking about." So I'm glad I did.

0:24:24 > 0:24:29Why do you think there are so few black ballet dancers?

0:24:29 > 0:24:34- Because there's not many role models out there,- I- think.

0:24:34 > 0:24:38'Now though, I just want to learn some moves.

0:24:38 > 0:24:40'I'm posh, white and well spoken,

0:24:40 > 0:24:45'so that should make me a great ballet dancer - right?!'

0:24:45 > 0:24:48# Dance, ballerina, dance

0:24:48 > 0:24:51# And do your pirouette

0:24:51 > 0:24:55# In rhythm with your aching heart

0:24:56 > 0:25:01# Dance, ballerina, dance

0:25:01 > 0:25:03# You mustn't once forget

0:25:03 > 0:25:07# A dancer has to dance the part

0:25:08 > 0:25:12# Whirl, ballerina, whirl

0:25:12 > 0:25:17# And just ignore the chair that's empty in the second row... #

0:25:17 > 0:25:21- Better?- Better.- I can't do any more spinning. I'm going to throw up!

0:25:23 > 0:25:27OK. One, two, three, four, five...

0:25:27 > 0:25:30- Six! Cheat, cheat!- I did cheat!

0:25:33 > 0:25:37'Last time I met Shavell, I couldn't help feeling

0:25:37 > 0:25:38'we were both holding something back,

0:25:38 > 0:25:42'so I've invited him round to my hub for a proper heart-to-heart.'

0:25:42 > 0:25:44Nice to see you.

0:25:47 > 0:25:54When I met you, I found that I put myself into a bit of a PC...hole.

0:25:54 > 0:25:59I didn't want to say the wrong thing or come across in a bad way

0:25:59 > 0:26:02and I felt that you were a bit like that, too.

0:26:02 > 0:26:05You were quite guarded. Is that true?

0:26:05 > 0:26:08I wouldn't say I'm guarded.

0:26:08 > 0:26:12- Um...- Careful, maybe? - Maybe careful.- Yes.

0:26:12 > 0:26:17I'm in a profession which is... predominately white.

0:26:17 > 0:26:23I'm sort of finding my sort of way around it.

0:26:23 > 0:26:26You don't want to say anything which is going to,

0:26:26 > 0:26:29- ruffle the feathers, really. - What do you mean?

0:26:29 > 0:26:35Because I am one of the only black British dancers out there,

0:26:35 > 0:26:40I would hate to feel that people feel, you know,

0:26:40 > 0:26:44I'm not appreciative of the opportunity that I've been given.

0:26:44 > 0:26:48Do you think that the situation is fine as it is?

0:26:48 > 0:26:52Do you think that if there was as few black ballet dancers

0:26:52 > 0:26:55in five, ten years' time, that would be OK?

0:26:56 > 0:26:58- No.- How would it make you feel?

0:27:00 > 0:27:04I can't really say the words on camera, but I'd be really annoyed.

0:27:04 > 0:27:06Yeah!

0:27:06 > 0:27:09I can hear the translation. Yeah!

0:27:09 > 0:27:11When you were small,

0:27:11 > 0:27:14did your friends ever ask to see your ballet shoes?

0:27:14 > 0:27:16- Were they curious about it? - Yes, definitely.

0:27:16 > 0:27:19I did a talent show when I was younger at school,

0:27:19 > 0:27:25primary school, and they wanted me to do, like, a ballet dance.

0:27:25 > 0:27:28I was like, I don't really want to. And yes, I got booed.

0:27:29 > 0:27:30Yeah, and it was awful.

0:27:30 > 0:27:36That was really hurtful and I think I ran out and I was really upset.

0:27:36 > 0:27:39- Ran out, I heard people booing. - Oh, my God. How old were you?

0:27:39 > 0:27:41- Probably about seven, eight. - Oh, no.

0:27:41 > 0:27:46And probably, that's why I am so strong and know what I want to do.

0:27:46 > 0:27:49- Have you ever been booed since?- No.

0:27:49 > 0:27:53Yes! By myself! Boo, Shav, that was bad! That was bad.

0:27:53 > 0:27:57What is the worst prejudice you've ever had to deal with?

0:27:57 > 0:28:01If I'm being honest, I haven't really had any.

0:28:01 > 0:28:05If I did feel anything which was quite bad,

0:28:05 > 0:28:07then I'd be out of there like a shot.

0:28:07 > 0:28:09What I've been lucky to have is,

0:28:09 > 0:28:12I've seen a little bit of everything -

0:28:12 > 0:28:16white, black, gays, straight -

0:28:16 > 0:28:18do you know what I mean?

0:28:18 > 0:28:21I've been around it and realised that at the end of the day,

0:28:21 > 0:28:23everyone's a person.

0:28:23 > 0:28:29Not what colour they are, what race they are, what sexuality they are.

0:28:29 > 0:28:30At the end of the day, we're all the same.

0:28:30 > 0:28:35- Some of us aren't as flexible as others.- Yeah, true!

0:28:37 > 0:28:39Shavell's attitude is pretty enlightened

0:28:39 > 0:28:43and I'm sure that most of us in modern, multicultural Britain

0:28:43 > 0:28:46would like to think that we're equally tolerant.

0:28:46 > 0:28:49But I'm about to find out that that's far from the reality.

0:28:49 > 0:28:51MUSIC: "Rock The Party" by Benzino

0:28:51 > 0:28:55# What is a party if it don't rock We just gon' proceed to make it hot. #

0:28:55 > 0:28:58I'm meeting up with 33-year-old Gurdev Singh,

0:28:58 > 0:29:02a British-born Sikh whose appearance often causes a stir.

0:29:03 > 0:29:07You're visually quite distinct. How do people react to you?

0:29:07 > 0:29:10Um, it's mixed, really.

0:29:10 > 0:29:13Some people obviously know I'm a Sikh and there's no reaction at all.

0:29:13 > 0:29:15But after 9/11, this all changed.

0:29:15 > 0:29:19The media was flooded with images of Bin Laden with a turban

0:29:19 > 0:29:23and beard and by accident, this association was made through

0:29:23 > 0:29:26the media and also through society that the person with a turban

0:29:26 > 0:29:28and a beard is a terrorist.

0:29:28 > 0:29:30Frequent examples I have are when people shout "Taleban"

0:29:30 > 0:29:32and I'm just walking down the road.

0:29:32 > 0:29:35- Someone would shout "Taleban" at you?- Yes.

0:29:35 > 0:29:38- So how do you feel on public transport?- I feel very self-aware.

0:29:38 > 0:29:42Self-aware of my identity and I'm on a train or a bus at that time.

0:29:42 > 0:29:46London being London, people don't talk on the Tube or buses anyway,

0:29:46 > 0:29:50- so...- It's more... That's about as sociable as it gets.- Look away.

0:29:50 > 0:29:53I'm not going to give you eye contact.

0:29:53 > 0:29:56But...what happens in that context is, I could quite easily

0:29:56 > 0:30:00sit down somewhere and I will find people walk up,

0:30:00 > 0:30:05look around the carriage or bus or train for a seat, clearly see there's

0:30:05 > 0:30:07an empty seat next to me

0:30:07 > 0:30:10and choose to stand rather than sit next to me.

0:30:10 > 0:30:13Because of fear I might... blow myself up.

0:30:13 > 0:30:16How does that feel when you see someone turn away

0:30:16 > 0:30:19and stand instead of sitting next to you?

0:30:19 > 0:30:22It's humiliating. You almost want to go up and shake them and say I'm not a threat,

0:30:22 > 0:30:25I'm not a terrorist, I'm a Sikh! I'm no threat to you at all!

0:30:25 > 0:30:28Is it rare or is it something you encounter?

0:30:28 > 0:30:30I encounter it quite often, really.

0:30:30 > 0:30:33It's happened so often, I've added a bit of humour to it now,

0:30:33 > 0:30:37whereas if somebody comes in and I've got the other seat, if they don't wish to sit

0:30:37 > 0:30:40next to me, I deliberately take up as much room as I wish now!

0:30:40 > 0:30:44- So there is a silver lining?- Yes, I mean, I get to sit comfortably!

0:30:49 > 0:30:51Gurdev grew up a Sikh,

0:30:51 > 0:30:55but only began to take his religion more seriously in 2004.

0:30:55 > 0:30:59It was a major transformation that started on a university trip to Russia.

0:30:59 > 0:31:04- That's me in the middle.- Yes, you look really, really different.

0:31:05 > 0:31:07- That's amazing.- That's me when I was in Russia.

0:31:07 > 0:31:10Was that just before you made a commitment?

0:31:10 > 0:31:14It was at the time when I was having a lot of thoughts, a lot of study

0:31:14 > 0:31:18was going on and when I came back to the UK, that's when I changed.

0:31:18 > 0:31:22Like most devout Sikhs, Gurdev doesn't cut his hair.

0:31:22 > 0:31:24- We don't cut any hair on our body. - Does it get...

0:31:24 > 0:31:28Such a stupid question! Does it get annoying?

0:31:28 > 0:31:30It actually becomes a source of pride,

0:31:30 > 0:31:33because if you take the Bible, for example - Samson, his strength

0:31:33 > 0:31:37laid in his hair and when it was cut, he lost all his strength and powers.

0:31:37 > 0:31:40That is the strength of identity of standing out amongst the crowd.

0:31:40 > 0:31:44Another important article of his faith is the dagger

0:31:44 > 0:31:46he wears under his jacket.

0:31:46 > 0:31:49It's a Kirpan, which is your ceremonial sword.

0:31:53 > 0:31:56Essential as they are to his religion, the sword, the turban

0:31:56 > 0:32:01and the beard do make Gurdev stand out in a post-9/11 world.

0:32:01 > 0:32:04# I don't like cricket, oh no... #

0:32:06 > 0:32:09- So how big a cricket fan are you? - Oh, a huge cricket fan.

0:32:09 > 0:32:13Myself and my sisters we've been playing cricket, watching cricket for as long as I can remember.

0:32:13 > 0:32:18Last summer, he found out just how much attention his appearance can attract

0:32:18 > 0:32:21when he went to watch India play England in a test match at Lord's.

0:32:21 > 0:32:25As I got to security, I was searched as everybody else was,

0:32:25 > 0:32:27cleared through security, no issue.

0:32:27 > 0:32:30But I actually declared to the security officer that

0:32:30 > 0:32:34I'm a practising Sikh, part of my faith is I carry a ceremonial sword.

0:32:34 > 0:32:37At that point, she had a mass panic, she really didn't know how to

0:32:37 > 0:32:40deal with the situation and she called her security guard.

0:32:40 > 0:32:43They spoke to me and said, "You can't come in here with a knife".

0:32:43 > 0:32:46I was ushered out and then dragged outside and made to stand here

0:32:46 > 0:32:49with three police officers around me, standing there.

0:32:49 > 0:32:52We live in a society where knife crime is a real problem,

0:32:52 > 0:32:54it's a real concern for people.

0:32:54 > 0:32:57Don't you think you should be really culturally sensitive to that,

0:32:57 > 0:33:02and aware that it's going to cause worry if someone's got a weapon?

0:33:02 > 0:33:04But the Kirpan isn't actually a weapon.

0:33:04 > 0:33:08It's enshrined in UK law that it circumvents weapons law

0:33:08 > 0:33:11- because it's a religious article of faith.- Yes, I understand that, again,

0:33:11 > 0:33:14cos I was at an event like this and was sitting watching

0:33:14 > 0:33:18the cricket with my daughter and I saw a man with a concealed knife...

0:33:18 > 0:33:22I'd feel threatened and worried and I would contact the authorities.

0:33:22 > 0:33:27It would be an ignorant reaction, but I think an understandable one.

0:33:27 > 0:33:31'I understand Gurdev's frustration, but also the reaction he got.

0:33:31 > 0:33:36'It's just not a clear-cut issue. Still, I'm curious to learn how things turned out.'

0:33:36 > 0:33:39So what happened as a result of that situation?

0:33:39 > 0:33:41I sat outside Lord's cricket ground and protested.

0:33:41 > 0:33:44My sister had got me one of the four and the six cards,

0:33:44 > 0:33:48kindly, from inside the ground, and I actually wrote on it,

0:33:48 > 0:33:51"Baptised, practising Sikhs not welcome at Lord's".

0:33:51 > 0:33:55I sat right here all day from 11 o'clock until seven,

0:33:55 > 0:33:57at the close of play, and protested.

0:33:57 > 0:34:00Lord's cricket ground actually took advice,

0:34:00 > 0:34:04they actually sent me an apology letter, apologising for the treatment

0:34:04 > 0:34:08and the fact that they are going to revise their policies regarding the Kirpan

0:34:08 > 0:34:11and then offered me a free corporate day with my family

0:34:11 > 0:34:14again to come to Lord's in the summer for England versus South Africa.

0:34:14 > 0:34:17- Free tickets?- Yes. - Yeah, baby!- In a box.

0:34:20 > 0:34:23Lords has made an impressive turnaround.

0:34:23 > 0:34:28But Gurdev's story does show how intolerance often comes from ignorance.

0:34:28 > 0:34:32I wonder how MOST people would feel if they saw a man carrying a knife

0:34:32 > 0:34:35and would they feel better if they knew the reason why?

0:34:35 > 0:34:37'We're heading back to the park to find out.'

0:34:37 > 0:34:39Hiya.

0:34:39 > 0:34:42- Hi.- Can I interrupt you for one second?- Sure you can.

0:34:42 > 0:34:45- Can we ask you a couple of questions?- Of course.- OK.

0:34:45 > 0:34:48If you saw that out and about, what would you think?

0:34:48 > 0:34:50In a park, I'd be a bit worried.

0:34:50 > 0:34:53It's part of you, part of your culture. It's fine.

0:34:53 > 0:34:57- So you wouldn't feel threatened by it?- Not at all.

0:34:57 > 0:35:00If you saw this, what would you think?

0:35:00 > 0:35:03I'd probably still be a bit nervous, just because that's not my religion.

0:35:03 > 0:35:07But, that doesn't mean it can't be yours.

0:35:07 > 0:35:10If you saw this item in the park and you were passing him,

0:35:10 > 0:35:13how would you feel? How would you react?

0:35:14 > 0:35:17It looks quite decorative, so I wouldn't think it was...

0:35:17 > 0:35:18he was carrying it for a weapon.

0:35:18 > 0:35:20I have to say, before I met him,

0:35:20 > 0:35:23I would have had questions about the ceremonial sword.

0:35:23 > 0:35:28If I'd seen that, I would have felt a bit threatened, a bit nervous.

0:35:28 > 0:35:32Now I understand its significance, it's completely different.

0:35:32 > 0:35:34It does show me

0:35:34 > 0:35:37how important information is into changing your perception.

0:35:41 > 0:35:45Gurdev's not the only cricket fan people make assumptions about.

0:35:45 > 0:35:48And while I'm unlikely to experience racism like he has,

0:35:48 > 0:35:52I've never enjoyed being stereotyped either.

0:35:52 > 0:35:54I've always been a bit of a tomboy.

0:35:54 > 0:35:59I have three brothers, so I grew up climbing trees and listening to AC/DC.

0:35:59 > 0:36:01I was really competitive growing up,

0:36:01 > 0:36:03so I was captain of the cricket team at school.

0:36:03 > 0:36:05I think partly because when I was growing up,

0:36:05 > 0:36:08I thought cricket was for boys, which made me really want to do it.

0:36:08 > 0:36:10When it comes to gender stereotyping,

0:36:10 > 0:36:13if I get told that I can't do something because I'm a girl,

0:36:13 > 0:36:16it makes me REALLY want to do it.

0:36:18 > 0:36:23'That must be a bit how firefighter Rebecca feels every day.'

0:36:25 > 0:36:26Ooh!

0:36:28 > 0:36:31'She's made a career out of confounding gender expectations.

0:36:33 > 0:36:35'I'm back to meet her family

0:36:35 > 0:36:39'and find out how husband Joe copes with her commitment to the job.'

0:36:39 > 0:36:41Since you've had your son William,

0:36:41 > 0:36:45have you worried more that she's away, doing a dangerous job?

0:36:45 > 0:36:50The only time I do worry is when she's late and she's on a call.

0:36:50 > 0:36:54You don't get a phone call and an hour and a half later,

0:36:54 > 0:36:58still no phone call and you're like... Hm, is she OK? Isn't she?

0:36:58 > 0:37:01But as soon as she gets back to the station, she'll phone me

0:37:01 > 0:37:03and say you know, I'm late.

0:37:03 > 0:37:05- I'm on my way home now. - God, the relief.

0:37:05 > 0:37:10- That must be the longest hour and a half ever.- It's worrying,

0:37:10 > 0:37:13because you know, you're texting and you try phoning

0:37:13 > 0:37:16and because they're not allowed to have their phones with them,

0:37:16 > 0:37:18you're getting no answer.

0:37:18 > 0:37:22And you're thinking, she must be on a shout. As soon as, you know,

0:37:22 > 0:37:25as soon as she gets back, she'll let me know.

0:37:25 > 0:37:30She'll let me know. She's got to be back soon... Come on...

0:37:30 > 0:37:34Do you kind of prepare yourself for the call, for the news?

0:37:34 > 0:37:36Well, it's one of those things.

0:37:36 > 0:37:40I know that if anything did happen, that there'd be a knock at the door.

0:37:40 > 0:37:42Why do you think she has moments where

0:37:42 > 0:37:43she gets completely focused on work?

0:37:43 > 0:37:48She has to try even harder, because she's a woman in the Fire Service.

0:37:48 > 0:37:52Basically. That's why she gives like, 110%.

0:37:56 > 0:38:01Joe's not the only person who's affected by Rebecca's career choice.

0:38:01 > 0:38:04I want to find out how she squares the stress of being

0:38:04 > 0:38:08a firefighter and a mum to toddler William.

0:38:08 > 0:38:09Say hi!

0:38:09 > 0:38:14- Hello! Aah, he's so gorgeous! - Thank you.

0:38:14 > 0:38:19- So today, you've got your "mummy hat" on.- Yep, today I'm Mam.

0:38:19 > 0:38:23Has anyone ever commented on the fact that you're a parent and a firefighter?

0:38:23 > 0:38:26I've had people say that as a mother, I shouldn't be a firefighter,

0:38:26 > 0:38:30because I'm putting myself at risk and that's not fair to my son

0:38:30 > 0:38:32and that I'm a bad parent.

0:38:32 > 0:38:35That's their opinion and I completely disagree with them.

0:38:35 > 0:38:38I think as much as it'd be terrible for my little boy to lose

0:38:38 > 0:38:41his mam, and for me to not watch my little boy grow up, what if

0:38:41 > 0:38:44one of my colleagues died and never went home at the end of the shift?

0:38:44 > 0:38:48And their kids had to grow up without their dad? Someone's got to do the job of a firefighter.

0:38:48 > 0:38:49I am one of those people.

0:38:49 > 0:38:52That is what I've chosen to be in my life

0:38:52 > 0:38:55and I'm not going to alter it because I've had a child.

0:38:55 > 0:38:59If anything, having my son has made me more aware of the importance of what I do.

0:39:05 > 0:39:09Rebecca has been doing her bit to smash gender stereotypes

0:39:09 > 0:39:12ever since she first put on a fire helmet.

0:39:12 > 0:39:15She's determined to do the same with William, even though everyone

0:39:15 > 0:39:20and everything around her seems to want to pigeonhole kids from an early age.

0:39:22 > 0:39:26If you go into the bigger toy stores, it's like mothers of girls, this way,

0:39:26 > 0:39:29mothers of boys, this way, and it's literally just cut down the middle.

0:39:29 > 0:39:34For boys, it's adventure, strength... You know - things like that.

0:39:34 > 0:39:38Engineering and then on the girls, it's princess, pink, make-up,

0:39:38 > 0:39:40fabulous, beautiful.

0:39:40 > 0:39:42All the words that are fab and great

0:39:42 > 0:39:45and it's really good that you're using positive words,

0:39:45 > 0:39:47BUT they need a bit of the other things as well.

0:39:47 > 0:39:50Why is it bad that boys are set to like blue

0:39:50 > 0:39:53and girls are encouraged to like pink?

0:39:53 > 0:39:55Unless you've got the balance from a young, young age,

0:39:55 > 0:39:57then they won't grow up with a balance.

0:39:57 > 0:40:02They'll grow up with the thing of, "I am a girl, this is what girls do. I am a boy, this is what boys do".

0:40:02 > 0:40:04It's when a little boy says, "I want the pink one"

0:40:04 > 0:40:06and someone says "No, you can't have that, it's for girls."

0:40:06 > 0:40:10When a little girl walks into a toy shop and is kicking and screaming for a Scalextric

0:40:10 > 0:40:13and their mother is going, "That's for boys, you can't have that".

0:40:13 > 0:40:17- But why is that a problem? - Because she's not being allowed to be who she wants to be.

0:40:17 > 0:40:21That little child isn't being allowed to explore the whole world.

0:40:21 > 0:40:24He's got a kitchen, I haven't made anything not accessible to him.

0:40:24 > 0:40:27I haven't taken away his trains and cars,

0:40:27 > 0:40:29I've just introduced the other stuff as well.

0:40:29 > 0:40:33If kids are made and programmed to be a certain way, then they don't have

0:40:33 > 0:40:34that choice when they're older,

0:40:34 > 0:40:39because their brains have already been made to not feel left out right from the very start.

0:40:40 > 0:40:43Whenever you finish speaking, I feel like I need to punch the air.

0:40:43 > 0:40:45YES!

0:40:47 > 0:40:51# Don't you know that it's different for girls

0:40:51 > 0:40:54# You're all the same! #

0:40:55 > 0:40:59If South Wales is on fire today, I'm afraid it's my fault,

0:40:59 > 0:41:03because I've asked its top female firefighter to pay me a visit.

0:41:03 > 0:41:07She's made me realise that sexism starts at home.

0:41:07 > 0:41:11In fact, I can feel a confession coming on.

0:41:11 > 0:41:14Meeting you definitely challenged some of my preconceptions.

0:41:14 > 0:41:18I think before, I hadn't really thought women could be firefighters,

0:41:18 > 0:41:22because of the physical nature of the job.

0:41:22 > 0:41:25What are the worst examples of sexism you've encountered?

0:41:25 > 0:41:31Women in particular saying that, "I'd be really disappointed if you rescued me".

0:41:31 > 0:41:35Which is like, you'd be in a burning building, and I'd drag you outside and I'd take my mask off

0:41:35 > 0:41:39and you'd go my God, you're a woman - throw me back in! I don't think so!

0:41:39 > 0:41:43Do you think as a woman you find it mentally and emotionally more difficult?

0:41:43 > 0:41:47- I don't think so.- Has it changed since you've become a mum?

0:41:47 > 0:41:50Because for me, since I've become a mum,

0:41:50 > 0:41:52I can barely even watch the news without crying.

0:41:52 > 0:41:55- My emotions are definitely more raw. - Yeah.

0:41:55 > 0:41:58How have you found that change?

0:41:58 > 0:42:02I think I've got a fear now of things with kids that I didn't have before.

0:42:02 > 0:42:05I've never met them, but I've known through stories of firefighters

0:42:05 > 0:42:10who have taken kids out of burning buildings on the Friday

0:42:10 > 0:42:14and on the Saturday have gone in and told their boss, I'm not coming back.

0:42:14 > 0:42:17- Really? Men and women?- Yeah.

0:42:17 > 0:42:19- The one I'm thinking about is a man. - Really?

0:42:19 > 0:42:24I suppose that doesn't even occur to me that that could be as severe for a man, a father,

0:42:24 > 0:42:26as it could be for a mother.

0:42:26 > 0:42:31I'm so programmed to think of women as the primary caregiver,

0:42:31 > 0:42:35that men's emotions around it might be slightly muted.

0:42:35 > 0:42:40I think it's just something that society has tuned us to think,

0:42:40 > 0:42:43that men are these heartless sort of, you know...

0:42:43 > 0:42:45- Just get on with it!- Yeah! But they don't.

0:42:45 > 0:42:49- Do you think Britain is still quite prejudiced?- Yes and no.

0:42:49 > 0:42:52It's very difficult to compare ourselves.

0:42:52 > 0:42:55There are certain countries where girls are still not even educated.

0:42:55 > 0:42:57We have made progress, definitely.

0:42:57 > 0:43:00We have made massive progress and I think for the prejudice

0:43:00 > 0:43:05we do have, it's still a slow-moving process,

0:43:05 > 0:43:08but compared to other countries, I think we are leaps ahead.

0:43:13 > 0:43:16I've come back to Wales to catch up with Alison.

0:43:16 > 0:43:20Last time we met, I confess I was quite shocked to discover

0:43:20 > 0:43:24she was involved in porn, although I realise that makes me prejudiced.

0:43:27 > 0:43:30I want to be more open-minded this time round.

0:43:31 > 0:43:35Can you tell me a bit more about your work?

0:43:35 > 0:43:40I do some shoots for a company where it's like, public nudity.

0:43:40 > 0:43:44- How does it work? - It's like flashing in public.

0:43:44 > 0:43:47- What happens to that footage? - It goes online then.

0:43:47 > 0:43:52- They sell it on one of the websites. - Can I see... Some of your work?

0:43:52 > 0:43:53You can have a look, yes.

0:43:56 > 0:44:00I haven't seen anything like this before in my life.

0:44:00 > 0:44:04- Were you nervous?- No. And it was freezing.

0:44:04 > 0:44:05INDISTINCT

0:44:06 > 0:44:09Oh my God, you're so...brave!

0:44:09 > 0:44:13- 'Can we see what you have under your skirt? Can you get those off?' - Do you get completely naked?- Yeah.

0:44:15 > 0:44:18- Whoah! - 'Can you show us what you've got...'

0:44:18 > 0:44:22'It seems there's a market for this as Alison found out

0:44:22 > 0:44:24'whilst searching the net after her accident.'

0:44:24 > 0:44:28I started looking at wheelchair porn, to see if it existed.

0:44:28 > 0:44:30And I don't know if they found me or if I found them,

0:44:30 > 0:44:33but there's people out there that prefer women in wheelchairs.

0:44:33 > 0:44:36- Really?- These are men who, if they saw a woman who could walk

0:44:36 > 0:44:38and a woman in a wheelchair, and they were the same woman,

0:44:38 > 0:44:42- they'd go for the woman in the wheelchair. - How does that make you feel?

0:44:42 > 0:44:46Yeah, it makes me feel a bit more attractive, I suppose.

0:44:46 > 0:44:48You know, I've had a positive response.

0:44:48 > 0:44:51- Do you still have quite an active sex life?- Yeah. I do still...

0:44:53 > 0:44:55You know, I... Like, my moves are limited.

0:44:55 > 0:44:57Like, I feel like...

0:45:00 > 0:45:03- I just feel like they'll get bored of me, like.- Mm.

0:45:03 > 0:45:05All I can do is just lie there.

0:45:07 > 0:45:09Sorry.

0:45:11 > 0:45:13I can see, being...

0:45:13 > 0:45:15sexy and sexual is such a big part of you

0:45:15 > 0:45:17and such a big part of your identity.

0:45:17 > 0:45:21Yes, I just feel like a bit of a rip-off. In general.

0:45:21 > 0:45:24Imagine if you couldn't move your legs, and...

0:45:24 > 0:45:27Would you feel like your boyfriend would be interested? I don't know.

0:45:27 > 0:45:31I think... sex is a real raw nerve for her.

0:45:31 > 0:45:34It's a huge part of her life.

0:45:34 > 0:45:37It's something that before the accident, was her livelihood

0:45:37 > 0:45:42and something she really enjoyed. Everything about that had to change.

0:45:42 > 0:45:45And rediscovering herself as a sexual person

0:45:45 > 0:45:47has obviously been really difficult.

0:45:47 > 0:45:49I think, though even on the outside she's really confident,

0:45:49 > 0:45:53clearly that's something she still struggles with.

0:45:58 > 0:46:01Alison has given me a lot to think about.

0:46:01 > 0:46:05Even SHE seems to have some deeply held assumptions about disability.

0:46:07 > 0:46:13But there's another area of prejudice that I've yet to explore - homophobia.

0:46:15 > 0:46:18If you're gay or lesbian, there's a 64% chance

0:46:18 > 0:46:21that you'll come across discrimination in the workplace.

0:46:21 > 0:46:23It's a troubling statistic

0:46:23 > 0:46:26and I want to meet someone who's been at the sharp end of it.

0:46:26 > 0:46:28Today I'm on my way to see Beth

0:46:28 > 0:46:32and I want to find out what it's really like to face prejudice

0:46:32 > 0:46:36at work and what kind of courage it takes to fight back.

0:46:36 > 0:46:39I'm visiting Beth at her home in Swindon.

0:46:43 > 0:46:48- Hello. Nice to meet you.- Nice to meet you. Come on in.- Thank you.

0:46:48 > 0:46:50In 2008, she and girlfriend Charlie

0:46:50 > 0:46:53were working for the same sales company.

0:46:53 > 0:46:57They'd been together for two years when the bullying began.

0:46:57 > 0:47:01- Tell me a bit about how your work used to be.- I loved my job.

0:47:01 > 0:47:04I really excelled at it when I was there.

0:47:04 > 0:47:09But then some comments were made by one of the members of staff,

0:47:09 > 0:47:11saying that...

0:47:11 > 0:47:12both me

0:47:12 > 0:47:18and my partner Charlie were having a threesome with our sales manager

0:47:18 > 0:47:21and the term used was that he was the meat in between the sandwich.

0:47:21 > 0:47:23Oh, my God.

0:47:23 > 0:47:28And he also said that we were disgusting lesbians.

0:47:28 > 0:47:31Yeah, and he didn't know how we could do it,

0:47:31 > 0:47:35I presume that means have a sexual relationship.

0:47:35 > 0:47:39So he didn't just make one silly off-the-cuff comment

0:47:39 > 0:47:41that was obviously offensive?

0:47:41 > 0:47:46It was a continued comment on your lesbian relationship.

0:47:46 > 0:47:50So I was thinking about making a formal complaint and this got back

0:47:50 > 0:47:54to the main boss in the company and he called me in for a meeting.

0:47:56 > 0:48:01To which he said, "Don't expect anything to happen from this".

0:48:01 > 0:48:04- He wasn't going to support you? - Yes.- Wow.

0:48:04 > 0:48:09Yes, he also said I'd let myself go in the last six months - his words.

0:48:10 > 0:48:13- Um...- In what way, professionally?

0:48:13 > 0:48:17- In my looks.- What?!- Yes.

0:48:17 > 0:48:20He specifically said, "If you took a picture of yourself now

0:48:20 > 0:48:25"and six months ago, you'd be able to physically see the difference".

0:48:25 > 0:48:28- That's still quite hurtful now. - I can see that even talking about it now...

0:48:28 > 0:48:33One of the other comments he made was that lesbians would never suffer in the way that Jews had,

0:48:33 > 0:48:36so we had no right to complain.

0:48:36 > 0:48:41I actually can't believe anybody said that out loud.

0:48:41 > 0:48:42I know!

0:48:43 > 0:48:47Beth and Charlie plucked up the courage to make a formal complaint,

0:48:47 > 0:48:50but then the situation took a turn for the worse.

0:48:50 > 0:48:54- They sacked Charlie, out of the blue.- Oh my God, is that legal?

0:48:54 > 0:49:00Because we were on a contract basis, they...just said...

0:49:01 > 0:49:03..You've got to leave.

0:49:03 > 0:49:06But then I resigned, because I just...

0:49:06 > 0:49:09Just felt so unsupported in the whole situation.

0:49:09 > 0:49:12I just couldn't let that happen to my partner.

0:49:12 > 0:49:17That's why I decided to take it further by taking it to Employment Tribunal.

0:49:19 > 0:49:21Beth's taking me to the college

0:49:21 > 0:49:24where she's now studying to tell me about the court case.

0:49:24 > 0:49:27She made the brave decision to represent herself.

0:49:27 > 0:49:31- So you had to cross-examine your ex-colleagues?- Yes.

0:49:31 > 0:49:33How on earth did you do that?

0:49:34 > 0:49:38Think it was a matter of having to.

0:49:38 > 0:49:42Um, I'd got myself that far, you know, there was, at the stage of

0:49:42 > 0:49:45the actual tribunal hearing, there was no turning back.

0:49:45 > 0:49:49After a three-day hearing, Beth faced a tense few weeks

0:49:49 > 0:49:54of waiting for the judge's decision, which arrived by post.

0:49:54 > 0:49:58- How did it feel when that letter came through?- Amazing.

0:49:58 > 0:50:01So you opened the letter and what did it say?

0:50:01 > 0:50:06Well, I had to read a lot before I actually got to the decision,

0:50:06 > 0:50:09but basically that it amounted to discrimination,

0:50:09 > 0:50:11that we were classed as employees

0:50:11 > 0:50:16and we should have been afforded the rights that employees have.

0:50:16 > 0:50:21Beth and Charlie were awarded £22,000.

0:50:21 > 0:50:23What was it like, reading that letter?

0:50:23 > 0:50:27It was probably one of the best feelings in my life, to be honest.

0:50:27 > 0:50:30Because there had been real times where I'd felt, "What am I doing?"

0:50:30 > 0:50:34And the struggle, like nights of no sleep...

0:50:34 > 0:50:37And to get that in my hand,

0:50:37 > 0:50:39saying "you've won",

0:50:39 > 0:50:42was just incredible.

0:50:44 > 0:50:47Four years on, the court case has changed her life in ways

0:50:47 > 0:50:51she could never have imagined, including her career.

0:50:52 > 0:50:56- I'm now training hopefully to be a lawyer.- That's amazing.

0:50:56 > 0:50:58What motivated you to do that?

0:50:58 > 0:51:03One of the biggest things was during the tribunal, towards the end,

0:51:03 > 0:51:07the judge said to me that he felt I'd conducted myself really well...

0:51:09 > 0:51:10..Which I really took on board

0:51:10 > 0:51:13and I was really thankful that he said that.

0:51:13 > 0:51:16It just gave me a boost in self-confidence

0:51:16 > 0:51:20to kind of think, you know what, I could actually do this.

0:51:20 > 0:51:22Beth is kind of amazing.

0:51:22 > 0:51:24She's taken a horrendous situation

0:51:24 > 0:51:27and turned it into something quite positive.

0:51:27 > 0:51:31Whilst I wouldn't wish what she's been through on anybody,

0:51:31 > 0:51:34she's actually made a silver lining

0:51:34 > 0:51:38and does seem to have become more confident as a result of it.

0:51:38 > 0:51:42A new career isn't the only change in Beth's life.

0:51:42 > 0:51:44The last couple of years have been full of surprises.

0:51:44 > 0:51:49- # Our lips shouldn't touch - Move over Darling

0:51:49 > 0:51:51# I like it too much... #

0:51:51 > 0:51:54She's now happily married to Chris.

0:51:54 > 0:51:57And they even have a little boy.

0:51:57 > 0:52:00# It's no big surprise any more

0:52:00 > 0:52:03# Cos you fooled me before. #

0:52:08 > 0:52:12Five weeks after I first met Alison, I feel like I understand

0:52:12 > 0:52:14my own preconceptions so much more,

0:52:14 > 0:52:17but there's still a lot I want to ask her.

0:52:19 > 0:52:23Do you think people get into a bit of political correctness...

0:52:23 > 0:52:27like, hole, around someone in a wheelchair?

0:52:27 > 0:52:30They feel like they should be helping me and maybe other people

0:52:30 > 0:52:33are judging them because they're not asking and helping me.

0:52:33 > 0:52:37I think it's more how they feel other people perceive them

0:52:37 > 0:52:39as to how I'm perceiving them.

0:52:39 > 0:52:41They want to do right by everyone else.

0:52:41 > 0:52:44Sometimes you can be quite defensive

0:52:44 > 0:52:46and it comes across as a bit angry...

0:52:46 > 0:52:48Yes, I'm very aggressive!

0:52:48 > 0:52:49But from what you said to me before,

0:52:49 > 0:52:53that was who you were before you had the accident.

0:52:53 > 0:52:55Yes, I'm independent and...

0:52:55 > 0:52:59I feel like since I've been in a wheelchair and people keep asking me

0:52:59 > 0:53:03- if I'm OK, I feel like they're trying to take my independence away.- Right.

0:53:03 > 0:53:04I think the biggest problem for me

0:53:04 > 0:53:08is that I just don't have any friends in wheelchairs and I don't

0:53:08 > 0:53:12interact with anyone, any colleagues in wheelchairs, so it's such a new interaction

0:53:12 > 0:53:16that it's getting it right that I find really difficult.

0:53:16 > 0:53:19Everyone's different. Not everyone in a wheelchair is going to be like me,

0:53:19 > 0:53:21some people want help all the time.

0:53:21 > 0:53:23They'll want to be mollycoddled.

0:53:23 > 0:53:27It's just I'm an independent person. Everyone's different, aren't they?

0:53:27 > 0:53:29I think I'd be like you if I was in a wheelchair.

0:53:29 > 0:53:32- I wouldn't want to be mollycoddled constantly.- Cos you're like it now.

0:53:32 > 0:53:36- Yeah.- You don't change because you're in a wheelchair.

0:53:36 > 0:53:40What is the worst case of prejudice you've encountered?

0:53:40 > 0:53:44Maybe people assuming I'm mentally retarded because I'm in a wheelchair.

0:53:44 > 0:53:47It doesn't happen very often, cos I'm too aggressive for that.

0:53:47 > 0:53:49Before you had your accident,

0:53:49 > 0:53:52would you have ever dated someone in a wheelchair?

0:53:52 > 0:53:53- No, and I still wouldn't.- Why?

0:53:53 > 0:53:57I don't know. It's that survival of the fittest kind of instinct.

0:53:57 > 0:54:01You know, you want to go for... the strongest mate, don't you?

0:54:01 > 0:54:04Do you think the way you feel about not dating someone

0:54:04 > 0:54:07in a wheelchair affects how you feel, your self-esteem?

0:54:07 > 0:54:10It does, cos I wouldn't want to date someone in a wheelchair,

0:54:10 > 0:54:12I think why would someone be interested in me?

0:54:12 > 0:54:15What do you want for your future now?

0:54:15 > 0:54:17I don't really think about the future.

0:54:17 > 0:54:19Everything is like, day-to-day.

0:54:19 > 0:54:23If you want something for your future and you never achieve it,

0:54:23 > 0:54:25you've let yourself down.

0:54:25 > 0:54:29- So I just do it one day at a time. - You don't want to be disappointed.

0:54:29 > 0:54:30Yeah.

0:54:34 > 0:54:39Definitely quite surprised to hear Alison say that she wouldn't date someone in a wheelchair.

0:54:39 > 0:54:43I suppose I was surprised by that because as someone who's suffered

0:54:43 > 0:54:48from prejudice herself, I assumed she wouldn't have any of her own.

0:54:48 > 0:54:50That's obviously wrong.

0:54:50 > 0:54:52I suppose it shows me that, you know,

0:54:52 > 0:54:55we've all got prejudices in some area, I think.

0:54:59 > 0:55:02This journey has been a real eye-opener.

0:55:02 > 0:55:06Maybe Shavell had it right when he said that black, white, gay, straight - we're all the same.

0:55:06 > 0:55:10What unites us is our desire to be treated as individuals.

0:55:11 > 0:55:13And that's exactly what I want for Coco.

0:55:15 > 0:55:18Are we going to make a bedroom? Yes? For the animals to sleep?

0:55:20 > 0:55:23What's your favourite colour? Is it red?

0:55:23 > 0:55:25- Uh-uh.- No?

0:55:25 > 0:55:27Is it blue?

0:55:27 > 0:55:29That's your favourite colour? Do you like pink?

0:55:29 > 0:55:33- Uh-uh. - You don't like pink?

0:55:35 > 0:55:38I really want Coco to grow up being whoever she wants to be,

0:55:38 > 0:55:42but I think I probably take that a bit to extremes,

0:55:42 > 0:55:46so...pink umbrella, blue umbrella.

0:55:46 > 0:55:49Who knows whether any of this will affect her future?

0:55:49 > 0:55:52She may end up going down the pink, fairy princess route.

0:55:52 > 0:55:56Either way, I'll be happy and know she's had the choice.

0:55:59 > 0:56:02Next time, I'll be finding out why we work and play

0:56:02 > 0:56:06so hard in a world that never switches off.

0:56:06 > 0:56:10What price do we pay for our 24/7 lives?

0:56:10 > 0:56:13You spend all your money on one night?

0:56:13 > 0:56:15There's no money.

0:56:15 > 0:56:17Do you think you're a workaholic?

0:56:17 > 0:56:19I'll call you... Oh, it is the end of the week.

0:56:19 > 0:56:21Yes.

0:56:21 > 0:56:23Has...not...stopped.

0:56:23 > 0:56:25You're actually shaking.

0:56:25 > 0:56:27Rebecca! We've got money to earn.

0:56:29 > 0:56:32# My mother told me

0:56:32 > 0:56:35# If I was goody

0:56:35 > 0:56:37# That she would buy me

0:56:37 > 0:56:40# A rubber dolly

0:56:40 > 0:56:43# My aunty told her

0:56:43 > 0:56:46# I kissed a soldier

0:56:46 > 0:56:48# Now she won't buy me

0:56:48 > 0:56:51# A rubber dolly. #

0:56:53 > 0:56:56Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd