Episode 1

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0:00:02 > 0:00:03Meet Derek Thornton.

0:00:03 > 0:00:05I'm an international sod buster.

0:00:05 > 0:00:09That's what they call a pure farmer down here in County Fermanagh.

0:00:09 > 0:00:13You have to be an eejit to be a farmer, in my opinion.

0:00:13 > 0:00:17Holidays? When would I get time to go on holidays and have to feed all them cattle? Hey!

0:00:17 > 0:00:19I'm sweeping and cleaning

0:00:19 > 0:00:21and, if I'm not feeding the cattle, I'm feeding the sheep.

0:00:21 > 0:00:25- If I'm not feeding the sheep, I'm feeding the cattle, it's the same- BLEEP- every day.

0:00:25 > 0:00:27I'm going to quit the game, it's robbing me, I'm robbed!

0:00:27 > 0:00:30Do you know, I should have done more with my life.

0:00:30 > 0:00:33I'm always dreaming about things I should have done.

0:00:33 > 0:00:38One of Derek's dreams is about to become his worst nightmare.

0:00:38 > 0:00:39MUSIC: "Song 2" by Blur

0:00:47 > 0:00:51# Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo! #

0:01:15 > 0:01:19When Daddy told me he wanted to go and do a skydive,

0:01:19 > 0:01:22I honestly couldn't believe it, right?

0:01:22 > 0:01:28He's the kind of person who, you know, has to hold onto the handrail going up a flight of stairs, right?

0:01:30 > 0:01:37Skydiving was the furthest thing from Derek's mind as he tended to the newborn lambs.

0:01:37 > 0:01:39Overhead a small plane was circling,

0:01:39 > 0:01:42but Derek hadn't noticed.

0:01:47 > 0:01:50Baaah!

0:01:50 > 0:01:52Baaah!

0:01:52 > 0:01:56That's me trying to call Mammy back to the...second lamb.

0:01:56 > 0:01:57There you are now. Baaah!

0:01:57 > 0:02:0113,000 feet above Derek's woolly hat,

0:02:01 > 0:02:04a man was about to jump out of a plane.

0:02:24 > 0:02:30Skydiver Peter Breen was on his way to offer Derek a high-octane dream.

0:02:34 > 0:02:37Derek thought Peter had been blown off course.

0:02:39 > 0:02:42Oh, he's down.

0:02:45 > 0:02:47Hey, boss, where did you come from?

0:02:47 > 0:02:49I've come here to teach you to skydive, Derek.

0:02:49 > 0:02:51No, I'll not be skydiving.

0:02:51 > 0:02:52I'm telling you.

0:02:52 > 0:02:55Look it, I wouldn't get up on the fourth rung of a ladder,

0:02:55 > 0:02:57and what height would you be skydiving at?

0:02:57 > 0:02:5913,000 feet.

0:02:59 > 0:03:00That's near heaven.

0:03:00 > 0:03:02Two miles high.

0:03:02 > 0:03:05We're going to freefall for about a minute of your life.

0:03:05 > 0:03:09- Not a word about it.- Then we'll fly the parachute to the ground, it's going to be fantastic.

0:03:09 > 0:03:12What'll happen if it wouldn't open?

0:03:12 > 0:03:13We always have a reserve.

0:03:13 > 0:03:18- I...- If that doesn't open... say your prayers, then.

0:03:18 > 0:03:22Well, wait till I tell you, I'll have to get a word with our lassie

0:03:22 > 0:03:25to see would she let me, because she might not want it open!

0:03:25 > 0:03:27Do you think she loves you?

0:03:27 > 0:03:30Oh, she loves me, she might want to get rid of me.

0:03:30 > 0:03:32Well, let's give it a go, anyway.

0:03:32 > 0:03:34- I'll have to ask her first.- OK.

0:03:34 > 0:03:37The auld lassie said yes, so next stop was Manchester.

0:03:37 > 0:03:39# Whoo-hoo!

0:03:41 > 0:03:43# Whoo-hoo!

0:03:45 > 0:03:48# Whoo-hoo!

0:03:48 > 0:03:52The boys at home think I'm an eejit to be at this carry-on, I can assure you.

0:03:52 > 0:03:55- Are you a first-time flyer? - Yes, sir.- Are you scared?

0:03:55 > 0:03:57- I am.- You should be.

0:03:57 > 0:04:00Because I'll tell you why, I've been doing several wee bits of jobs,

0:04:00 > 0:04:03but I never was blew at 150 miles an hour yet!

0:04:03 > 0:04:05I want you to imagine these are a pair of legs.

0:04:05 > 0:04:08If I show you this signal, straighten your legs.

0:04:08 > 0:04:10This one, any guesses?

0:04:11 > 0:04:13- No.- Bend your legs. - Bend your legs, OK.

0:04:13 > 0:04:16When I show you those signals, do it slowly.

0:04:16 > 0:04:18Kick your legs out fast and bend your legs fast,

0:04:18 > 0:04:22you'll move around fast and I'll be peeling you off the windows. This one, chin up.

0:04:22 > 0:04:24OK, body position.

0:04:30 > 0:04:32Are you only that height off the ground?

0:04:32 > 0:04:35- Say that again.- Are you only that height off the ground?

0:04:35 > 0:04:37A bit higher, hopefully. We'll let you go all the way to the top.

0:04:37 > 0:04:39Will you have a rope on me?

0:04:39 > 0:04:41No, no ropes.

0:04:44 > 0:04:47At my age, will I be all right up on this?

0:04:47 > 0:04:51You're not the oldest person I've had. 95 is the oldest person I've flown.

0:04:51 > 0:04:54- My goodness. That's me legs bent, that means.- That's right.

0:04:54 > 0:04:56- That's my legs straight. - Correct, yeah.

0:04:56 > 0:04:59If my legs is up like that, what happens?

0:04:59 > 0:05:01- Is that bent too much? - That's not too much.

0:05:01 > 0:05:05Do you know I'm 16 stone, hey? Will you be able to help me down?

0:05:05 > 0:05:09I've flown a lot heavier than you. Don't you worry about that. You'll be grand.

0:05:10 > 0:05:13You've the life scared out of me, hey!

0:05:13 > 0:05:16First, Adrian gives Derek a demonstration.

0:05:31 > 0:05:33# I'm spinning around

0:05:33 > 0:05:35# Move out of my way

0:05:35 > 0:05:39# I know you're feeling me cos you like it like this

0:05:39 > 0:05:41# I'm breaking it down

0:05:41 > 0:05:43# I'm not the same

0:05:43 > 0:05:47# I know you're feeling me cos you like it like

0:05:47 > 0:05:48# I'm spinning around

0:05:48 > 0:05:50# Spinning around... #

0:05:53 > 0:05:56Now it's Derek's turn.

0:06:01 > 0:06:05# Clearing this house of some joy that I borrowed

0:06:05 > 0:06:08# Back in the day

0:06:08 > 0:06:09# Threw away my old clothes

0:06:09 > 0:06:13# Got myself a better wardrobe

0:06:13 > 0:06:15# I got something to say

0:06:15 > 0:06:18# I'm through with the past

0:06:18 > 0:06:20# Ain't no point in looking back

0:06:20 > 0:06:23# The future will be

0:06:23 > 0:06:25# And did I forget to mention...

0:06:25 > 0:06:27(LAUGHS)

0:06:30 > 0:06:34# I'm spinning around

0:06:34 > 0:06:36# Move out of my way

0:06:36 > 0:06:37# I know you're feeling me...

0:06:37 > 0:06:39Now the fun begins.

0:06:39 > 0:06:41# I'm breaking it down

0:06:41 > 0:06:44# I'm not the same

0:06:44 > 0:06:47# I know you're feeling me cos you like it like

0:06:47 > 0:06:49# I'm spinning around

0:06:49 > 0:06:50# Move out of my way

0:06:50 > 0:06:54# I know you're feeling me cos you like it like this

0:06:54 > 0:06:57# I'm breaking it down... #

0:06:57 > 0:06:58Enjoying it, Derek?

0:06:58 > 0:07:00# I know you're feeling me

0:07:00 > 0:07:02# Cos you like it like this

0:07:02 > 0:07:04# Baby, baby, baby

0:07:04 > 0:07:07# You know you like it like this... #

0:07:07 > 0:07:1016 stone and soon to be as light as a feather.

0:07:12 > 0:07:17# You know you like it like this

0:07:17 > 0:07:21# Baby, baby, baby... #

0:07:21 > 0:07:25The airbag's causing lift-off problems.

0:07:25 > 0:07:28# Baby, baby, baby

0:07:28 > 0:07:30# You know you like it like this

0:07:30 > 0:07:33# The mistakes that I made

0:07:33 > 0:07:36# Givin' me the strength

0:07:36 > 0:07:39# To really believe

0:07:39 > 0:07:41# And no matter how I take it

0:07:41 > 0:07:43# There's no way I'm gonna fake it

0:07:43 > 0:07:46# Cos it's gotta be real

0:07:46 > 0:07:48# I've got nothin' left to hide

0:07:48 > 0:07:51# No reason left to fight

0:07:51 > 0:07:54# Cos the truth's given me

0:07:54 > 0:07:56# A new freedom inside

0:07:56 > 0:07:58# Gettin' rid of my desire

0:07:58 > 0:08:03# Do you like what you see... #

0:08:03 > 0:08:07Boy, that was badly needed, that was hairy in there,

0:08:07 > 0:08:09so it was, I'll tell you.

0:08:09 > 0:08:15I suppose it's a great introduction to starting to do a bit of skydiving,

0:08:15 > 0:08:19out there and in there, at 140mph I seen the wind was blowing there.

0:08:19 > 0:08:22Sure, look at the state of me hair and all,

0:08:22 > 0:08:25if it was loose on me I'd be bald in there, I'll tell you.

0:08:25 > 0:08:28The boy, the instructor man was great,

0:08:28 > 0:08:31there was no doubt about it, he was prompting me and giving me

0:08:31 > 0:08:35these here and up and down, and the life was out of me,

0:08:35 > 0:08:38I didn't half know what he was doing till I got on to him,

0:08:38 > 0:08:40the next thing I looked and I was up at the roof,

0:08:40 > 0:08:43he had a hold of me up at the roof, and I had quite a hold on him,

0:08:43 > 0:08:47you'd think I was doing a rugby tackle, I had him like this.

0:08:47 > 0:08:50I swear, there's a big black lump on my arm there,

0:08:50 > 0:08:52so there is, but it was grand.

0:08:52 > 0:08:55I'll say it was definitely worth the travelling to do

0:08:55 > 0:08:57and I'm ready for the parachute jumping now.

0:08:57 > 0:08:59And I will have it done next week.

0:09:20 > 0:09:23- Hey, Derek.- Peter, here you are. - How's it going, man?

0:09:23 > 0:09:27Not that well, look at it. Is that all the size of a pram we're going to get up on?

0:09:27 > 0:09:30- This is it, what do you think? - I don't think that much of her.

0:09:30 > 0:09:32I'm delighted to see you, that's fantastic.

0:09:32 > 0:09:35- You're all set to learn to skydive? - I don't know,

0:09:35 > 0:09:39- but when we're here we'll give it a go.- Let's get started.

0:09:39 > 0:09:42You've come to the end of your free fall,

0:09:42 > 0:09:47you've thrown out your pilot chute, you must count 1,000, 2,000,

0:09:47 > 0:09:533,000, 4,000, check canopy - check your parachute, in other words.

0:09:53 > 0:09:55You must wait that four seconds.

0:09:55 > 0:09:59If you look up after two seconds, it's going to be half open,

0:09:59 > 0:10:04and it's going to look like your clothes basket at home, all in a jumble,

0:10:04 > 0:10:09and that is only because it needs the three or four seconds to open.

0:10:09 > 0:10:14- OK?- But when you talk about that 1,000, 2,000, 3,000, 4,000,

0:10:14 > 0:10:16I'm out of the plane at that stage?

0:10:16 > 0:10:19No, this is at the end of your free fall.

0:10:19 > 0:10:21Aye, but I have fell out?

0:10:21 > 0:10:25When I'm falling, then it's 1,000, 2,000, 3,000, 4,000,

0:10:25 > 0:10:29check canopy - the parachute is open at that stage?

0:10:29 > 0:10:30I have pulled her?

0:10:30 > 0:10:35OK, we check the canopy by saying, is it there, is it square,

0:10:35 > 0:10:39- if there's no twists, is it steerable?- Right.

0:10:39 > 0:10:42"Is it there" means, has the parachute actually opened?

0:10:42 > 0:10:45So, you look up, if there's no parachute,

0:10:45 > 0:10:48you have a problem, it's a malfunction.

0:10:48 > 0:10:51If it has opened, the next question is, is it square?

0:10:51 > 0:10:53That means, is it the right shape?

0:10:53 > 0:10:57If it's kind of square looking, it's the right shape, it's good.

0:10:57 > 0:10:59if it looks in a mush, it's a malfunction.

0:10:59 > 0:11:02So they're the three checks -

0:11:02 > 0:11:04is it there, is it square, is it steerable?

0:11:04 > 0:11:06Will you say that for me?

0:11:06 > 0:11:09Is it there, is it square, is it steerable?

0:11:10 > 0:11:13Is it there, is it square, is it steerable?

0:11:14 > 0:11:17Is it there, is it square, is it steerable?

0:11:17 > 0:11:19I've that in the disk now, Peter.

0:11:19 > 0:11:23I've a few pictures here of parachutes and I want you to tell me

0:11:23 > 0:11:27whether you think it's a good parachute or a bad parachute. OK?

0:11:27 > 0:11:30Have a look at that.

0:11:30 > 0:11:31That's it twisted.

0:11:31 > 0:11:34Yes. And?

0:11:34 > 0:11:35It's not out enough.

0:11:35 > 0:11:37Exactly right, yes.

0:11:37 > 0:11:39It's a bad parachute.

0:11:39 > 0:11:41That'd bring you down all the same?

0:11:41 > 0:11:43It'd bring you down... six feet under.

0:11:43 > 0:11:47- How about that one? - Let me get a look at that one.

0:11:47 > 0:11:49That one would be...

0:11:49 > 0:11:51That one's not right either.

0:11:51 > 0:11:53Exactly, not good.

0:11:53 > 0:11:56That's all you have to... Look up, is it good or not good? Not good.

0:11:56 > 0:11:57What about that?

0:11:57 > 0:11:59That one's twisted as well.

0:11:59 > 0:12:00Twisted?

0:12:00 > 0:12:01Yeah.

0:12:01 > 0:12:05Now, if after two seconds, you saw that, how would it be?

0:12:05 > 0:12:09You'd be...you'd be trying to get it out of the twist.

0:12:09 > 0:12:12If you can imagine, if you only went, "1,000, 2,000..."

0:12:12 > 0:12:16- and you looked up, you might see that, it's not fully open.- Right.

0:12:16 > 0:12:21- That's why we need to count to four - 1,000, 2,000...- 3,000, 4,000.

0:12:21 > 0:12:24If after 4,000 you saw that, malfunction.

0:12:24 > 0:12:27- You'd be going for the spare one. - You'd be going for the spare one.

0:12:27 > 0:12:30- What do you think of that? - That one's a good one.

0:12:30 > 0:12:32Absolutely, you knew straight away.

0:12:32 > 0:12:35- Has anybody died in this job? - Thankfully, no.

0:12:35 > 0:12:38- I don't want to be the first. - Absolutely, you won't be the first.

0:12:40 > 0:12:43# Does that make me crazy?

0:12:44 > 0:12:47# Does that make me crazy... #

0:12:47 > 0:12:49Derek needs to work on his balance.

0:12:49 > 0:12:52# Does that make me crazy?

0:12:53 > 0:12:58# Probably... #

0:13:01 > 0:13:05One last spin and it's back to the classroom.

0:13:06 > 0:13:07Come on over here.

0:13:07 > 0:13:12This here is a simulated set-up to teach you how to handle

0:13:12 > 0:13:14a malfunctioning canopy.

0:13:14 > 0:13:18So this is your cut-away handle, and this is your reserve handle.

0:13:18 > 0:13:23When you pull this one, it disconnects you from the malfunctioning parachute.

0:13:23 > 0:13:27So, you go back into freefall, you pull this one,

0:13:27 > 0:13:29and it opens the reserve.

0:13:29 > 0:13:33- Are you sure it'll open the reserve? - It certainly will.

0:13:33 > 0:13:35- Right, I'm going to teach you the drill.- Right.

0:13:35 > 0:13:39So, look down at the handles, locate them, put your hands on them.

0:13:41 > 0:13:46Peel up on the right, punch down, and pull.

0:13:46 > 0:13:54It's simple as that, it's look, locate, peel, punch, pull, OK?

0:13:54 > 0:13:57It's as simple as that.

0:13:57 > 0:13:59Supposing I froze now,

0:13:59 > 0:14:02when the malfunction had come, and I don't do this,

0:14:02 > 0:14:03what happens?

0:14:05 > 0:14:09If you freeze, Derek, and do nothing, you'll die.

0:14:09 > 0:14:11We need to separate the two actions.

0:14:12 > 0:14:16If you open your reserve before you cut away, what will happen is

0:14:16 > 0:14:21your reserve will open up into the malfunction, then you're really in trouble.

0:14:22 > 0:14:27OK, Derek, now you've learned the drill, this is a harness

0:14:27 > 0:14:30like the one you'll be connected to your parachute for real.

0:14:30 > 0:14:33So, I want you to climb up on the chair here and get into the harness.

0:14:33 > 0:14:37- Is that the only way of climbing? - That's it for this one.

0:14:37 > 0:14:39Stand up here, good man.

0:14:39 > 0:14:43Put your right leg through this one. Unless you want to go head down.

0:14:43 > 0:14:46- Is it me leg I've to put in there? - Yeah, absolutely.

0:14:46 > 0:14:50Hang on a minute, Pete, what about the little lads?

0:14:50 > 0:14:52- We'll make sure the... - The Crown Jewels.

0:14:52 > 0:14:55..the Crown Jewels are looked after.

0:14:55 > 0:14:57Where are we now?

0:14:57 > 0:15:00- Are you planning on any more babies? - I never had a baby.

0:15:00 > 0:15:03Well, now you've nothing to worry about.

0:15:03 > 0:15:08We'll do your chest strap now. We don't want you falling out.

0:15:08 > 0:15:11Are you sure that this is safe, this thing?

0:15:11 > 0:15:13This whole parachuting jump?

0:15:13 > 0:15:14Oh, yeah.

0:15:14 > 0:15:16Is the wee lad OK there?

0:15:16 > 0:15:19The wee lad's grand, don't you worry about him.

0:15:19 > 0:15:22He could jump out and break your arm, he's not that wee!

0:15:22 > 0:15:25I don't want that to happen, anyway.

0:15:25 > 0:15:29Remember what we said, malfunctions are very rare, but you really need to know how to handle them,

0:15:29 > 0:15:32because it could happen on your first jump, OK?

0:15:32 > 0:15:35So, let's go, just put your weight gently into the harness,

0:15:35 > 0:15:38and I'll take the chair away.

0:15:39 > 0:15:40OK, hands up.

0:15:40 > 0:15:42Higher.

0:15:42 > 0:15:43Malfunction!

0:15:43 > 0:15:47Look, locate, peel, punch, pull.

0:15:47 > 0:15:52That's pretty good, but I didn't see you peel, so I want you to peel.

0:15:53 > 0:15:55You have to really peel.

0:16:00 > 0:16:01Malfunction!

0:16:01 > 0:16:04Look, locate, peel, punch...

0:16:04 > 0:16:07- pull, but I done it wrong. - You did.

0:16:07 > 0:16:09- But I got there. - You've just killed yourself.

0:16:09 > 0:16:13- I haven't, I'm still here...- You did, you had the left hand out first.

0:16:13 > 0:16:16- You've just opened your reserve into your malfunction.- Oh.

0:16:16 > 0:16:19- So, not good, OK? - Better luck next time.

0:16:21 > 0:16:25- I'll be alive for the next time! - If there is a next time!

0:16:25 > 0:16:29Take BEEP, that's no too BEEP...

0:16:29 > 0:16:31Malfunction!

0:16:31 > 0:16:34Look, locate, peel, punch, pull!

0:16:35 > 0:16:40Better, but remember it's peel up, use your thumb as a hinge.

0:16:40 > 0:16:42Now way out of his comfort zone,

0:16:42 > 0:16:47Derek is beginning to realise that a solo unassisted jump may be beyond him.

0:16:47 > 0:16:49Malfunction!

0:16:49 > 0:16:52Look, locate, peel, punch, pull.

0:16:52 > 0:16:54Perfect! Well done.

0:16:54 > 0:16:56Lovely.

0:16:56 > 0:16:57Malfunction!

0:16:57 > 0:17:01Look, locate, peel, punch, pull!

0:17:01 > 0:17:04Brilliant, fantastic, well done.

0:17:04 > 0:17:05You've saved your life.

0:17:05 > 0:17:08So, you see how the stress increases?

0:17:08 > 0:17:12If that was a line-over malfunction, it would be tossing you around,

0:17:12 > 0:17:15so you need to do it just as you did.

0:17:15 > 0:17:18Under stress the drill doesn't change. Well done, man.

0:17:18 > 0:17:19Stand up.

0:17:19 > 0:17:21Now, that's it all?

0:17:21 > 0:17:23No, we'll do it again.

0:17:23 > 0:17:26- Well worth it, spending a bit of time here.- Absolutely.

0:17:26 > 0:17:28Be longer on earth than in heaven.

0:17:28 > 0:17:33This is the difference between whether you go home to Lillian or not. OK.

0:17:35 > 0:17:37WHISPERS: Not too fast.

0:17:37 > 0:17:39Malfunctioned!

0:17:39 > 0:17:41Look, locate, peel, punch, pull!

0:17:43 > 0:17:45Whoa! Fantastic!

0:17:45 > 0:17:46Well done, man.

0:17:46 > 0:17:49What did you think of that?

0:17:49 > 0:17:52That's easier on the Gendarmes!

0:17:52 > 0:17:54Good man.

0:17:54 > 0:17:57It's time for a message home to Mother.

0:17:57 > 0:17:58Hello, Mother.

0:17:58 > 0:18:01I'm getting ready for the big jump tomorrow.

0:18:01 > 0:18:03I've put in two days' practice,

0:18:03 > 0:18:07I'm ready for the 14,000ft jump tomorrow.

0:18:07 > 0:18:11And in my head it is - is it square, is it there, is it steerable?

0:18:11 > 0:18:16It's look, pull, punch, they were swishing me about,

0:18:16 > 0:18:20and me Crown Jewels'll give you no trouble when I get home!

0:18:23 > 0:18:25Good night, Mother.

0:18:30 > 0:18:33OK, Derek, we've the training all done, so go in there in that room

0:18:33 > 0:18:36and get a jumpsuit on, and I'll see you when you're back out.

0:18:36 > 0:18:38I'll see you when I have it on.

0:18:45 > 0:18:46What do you think, Peter?

0:18:46 > 0:18:50The boys at home will think I'm the right bollocks in this suit, hey?

0:18:50 > 0:18:52I think you got that off the wrong rail, Derek.

0:18:52 > 0:18:54I meant one of the blue suits.

0:18:54 > 0:18:57That's the one you sent me for.

0:18:57 > 0:18:58Batman, hey?

0:18:59 > 0:19:03- Go on in there and change that. - Will this one not do?

0:19:03 > 0:19:05It will if you want to go to Kerry in it, yeah!

0:19:08 > 0:19:11I'll tell you what I'll do with that, Peter,

0:19:11 > 0:19:14I'll bring that home to the old lassie, I'll get her

0:19:14 > 0:19:18to cut a foot off, run it round on the Singer sewing machine.

0:19:18 > 0:19:21The cows will not know what to make of me if I bring it home.

0:19:21 > 0:19:23It keeps my airbag in, too, look.

0:19:23 > 0:19:25Like a pair of corsets!

0:19:25 > 0:19:27Looking good, looking good.

0:19:27 > 0:19:29All the way up.

0:19:30 > 0:19:33And then slip it on like a jacket.

0:19:34 > 0:19:38- That's far too small, Peter.- I'll make it the right size for you.

0:19:38 > 0:19:41It's only for a cub, that's not for a man, hey.

0:19:41 > 0:19:44Hey, Peter, you're tightening that up far too much!

0:19:44 > 0:19:47You must be going to take the leg off me

0:19:47 > 0:19:49or what the hell are you going to do?

0:19:52 > 0:19:54Fire away now. We're nearly there.

0:19:54 > 0:19:57Left leg.

0:19:57 > 0:19:58That's perfect. Really good.

0:19:58 > 0:20:01How long will it take us to get up there, Peter?

0:20:01 > 0:20:04We'll come down a lot quicker than we went up.

0:20:04 > 0:20:05- Are you sure?- Absolutely!

0:20:05 > 0:20:09It's time to prepare a tandem parachute.

0:20:09 > 0:20:14A wee, light lassie like you is not a bother.

0:20:14 > 0:20:16If I was on it, the air would've gone out of it.

0:20:16 > 0:20:17Thanks very much!

0:20:17 > 0:20:20- Do you ever make any mistakes? - I try not to.

0:20:20 > 0:20:23You'd better not! Do a wee bit extra time on that for me

0:20:23 > 0:20:25if that's the one I'm going to use.

0:20:25 > 0:20:27What's so special about you.

0:20:27 > 0:20:29Look at the size of me!

0:20:29 > 0:20:31Do you know what you'll do now, Catherine?

0:20:31 > 0:20:35Take them knee pads off and give them to me for I'll have corns on my knees praying

0:20:35 > 0:20:37and I'll need them to get up there!

0:20:37 > 0:20:39You'll be fine, dude!

0:20:40 > 0:20:42- Are you sure?- Yeah.

0:20:42 > 0:20:44Enjoy your jump, now.

0:20:44 > 0:20:46- BLEEP.- That's a weight.

0:20:46 > 0:20:48- Four stone.- Four stone.

0:20:48 > 0:20:52Four stone? That's 20 stone now I am.

0:20:52 > 0:20:54Let's go and sky dive!

0:20:54 > 0:20:59MUSIC: "Speed Of Sound" by Coldplay

0:21:05 > 0:21:10I'm not intrigued with this carry-on. But we'll go, I've no other option.

0:22:25 > 0:22:30First, our cameramen get out to capture the big moment.

0:22:30 > 0:22:3413,000 feet up, it's a long way down.

0:22:38 > 0:22:40Derek's having second thoughts.

0:22:46 > 0:22:49The cameramen are called back inside.

0:23:00 > 0:23:03Derek's close to quitting the jump altogether,

0:23:03 > 0:23:06but the crew try to reassure him.

0:23:23 > 0:23:27Back in position for the jump, the door opens again.

0:23:37 > 0:23:41Derek's nudged to the opening, firmly strapped to Peter.

0:23:43 > 0:23:44This is it, Derek -

0:23:44 > 0:23:47your dream come true.

0:23:57 > 0:23:58# Woo hoo!

0:24:00 > 0:24:03# Woo hoo!

0:24:05 > 0:24:06# Woo hoo!

0:24:08 > 0:24:10# Woo hoo!

0:24:12 > 0:24:14# I got my head checked

0:24:15 > 0:24:18# By a jumbo jet

0:24:20 > 0:24:22# It wasn't easy

0:24:23 > 0:24:25# But nothing is

0:24:26 > 0:24:28# Woo hoo!

0:24:28 > 0:24:31# And I feel heavy metal

0:24:31 > 0:24:32# Woo hoo!

0:24:32 > 0:24:34# And I'm pins and I'm needles

0:24:34 > 0:24:36# Woo hoo!

0:24:36 > 0:24:38# Well I lie and I'm easy

0:24:38 > 0:24:42# All of the time I am never sure

0:24:42 > 0:24:44# Why I need you

0:24:44 > 0:24:46# Pleased to meet you. #

0:24:55 > 0:24:56Woo hoo!

0:24:56 > 0:24:58BLEEP

0:25:00 > 0:25:01Woo hoo!

0:25:01 > 0:25:02HE LAUGHS

0:25:02 > 0:25:04That's a relief.

0:25:10 > 0:25:13- Are you sure we're all right? - Yes, we're all right.

0:25:13 > 0:25:16Sit back and enjoy the ride, Derek.

0:25:45 > 0:25:47- Peter!- Yeah?- You're the real saint.

0:26:02 > 0:26:04OK?

0:26:12 > 0:26:14DEREK RETCHES

0:26:16 > 0:26:18Fantastic!

0:26:18 > 0:26:20A little bit reluctant, but then absolutely amazing.

0:26:20 > 0:26:23The life was scared out of me.

0:26:23 > 0:26:27If you were up there and she was going like that there and I...

0:26:27 > 0:26:31There I was and the boys was egging me on.

0:26:31 > 0:26:34He pushed me. That's the only reason I went.

0:26:34 > 0:26:36If it wasn't for that, I wouldn't have went.

0:26:36 > 0:26:39- We went together. - But you were tied to me!

0:26:39 > 0:26:43I was the only one sitting, you were hanging outside. You went, I went.

0:26:45 > 0:26:49Going and going and going and going and then the next thing, bang!

0:26:49 > 0:26:51The brakes went on.

0:26:51 > 0:26:55That's when the parachute went up.

0:26:55 > 0:26:58The life was scared out of me, boys.

0:27:00 > 0:27:02Woo hoo!

0:27:02 > 0:27:04# A moment like this

0:27:04 > 0:27:07# Some people search forever

0:27:07 > 0:27:10# For that one special kiss

0:27:10 > 0:27:16# I can't believe it's happening to me

0:27:16 > 0:27:20- Peter?- Yeah. - Aren't you the real saint?

0:27:20 > 0:27:24It's the hairiest thing I have done - ever.

0:27:26 > 0:27:29# For a moment like this. #

0:27:29 > 0:27:32The time the pope came to Ireland, he kissed the ground

0:27:32 > 0:27:34and I'm going to kiss it again!

0:27:34 > 0:27:36LAUGHTER

0:27:37 > 0:27:40Well, you're brave man.

0:27:40 > 0:27:42- Well done. Fantastic. - I'm telling ya...

0:27:42 > 0:27:45Next time on Derek's Dreaming Again.

0:27:45 > 0:27:47I believe you want to fit me out with boots.

0:27:47 > 0:27:50I got me toenails cut. They were like a pet donkey before.

0:27:50 > 0:27:52They were three inches long.

0:27:52 > 0:27:53You see? Perfect.

0:27:53 > 0:27:57Push your heels out, Derek! Push your heels out!

0:27:57 > 0:27:59Make a snowplough!

0:28:01 > 0:28:03BLEEP.

0:28:03 > 0:28:05Swallowed my voice!

0:28:05 > 0:28:08THEY YODEL

0:28:10 > 0:28:13You'd want about ten drinks with that carry-on,

0:28:13 > 0:28:16keep your throat from getting dry!

0:28:16 > 0:28:18The amount of times I've been on my arse today.

0:28:18 > 0:28:20BLEEP

0:28:22 > 0:28:24HE GROANS

0:28:32 > 0:28:36Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:28:36 > 0:28:39E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk