0:00:08 > 0:00:10Wow!
0:00:10 > 0:00:14KATE HUMBLE: I've spent time in many different countries...
0:00:14 > 0:00:15What a place to be!
0:00:15 > 0:00:19..getting to know people from vastly different cultures.
0:00:19 > 0:00:21So, do the men sew as well?
0:00:21 > 0:00:23Will your husband sew?
0:00:23 > 0:00:25SHE SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE THEY LAUGH
0:00:25 > 0:00:27And one thing that's often struck me...
0:00:29 > 0:00:32..is that the roles men and women play in society
0:00:32 > 0:00:36give great insight into their way of life.
0:00:36 > 0:00:39HE SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE
0:00:39 > 0:00:40OK.
0:00:40 > 0:00:43And how the everyday roles of women, in particular,
0:00:43 > 0:00:47reveal a society's values, whether they be determined by religion...
0:00:48 > 0:00:49..status...
0:00:50 > 0:00:51..or tradition.
0:00:54 > 0:00:56As a white middle-class woman growing up in Britain,
0:00:56 > 0:01:00I'm aware that I am enormously privileged, free to make choices,
0:01:00 > 0:01:03state opinions, be independent.
0:01:03 > 0:01:06But for many of the world's women, perhaps the majority,
0:01:06 > 0:01:09circumstances are very different.
0:01:09 > 0:01:11THEY SPEAK OWN LANGUAGE
0:01:12 > 0:01:17So, in this series, I've travelled to three very different places
0:01:17 > 0:01:21where the roles of women are exceptional, complex,
0:01:21 > 0:01:22and even extreme.
0:01:25 > 0:01:28The Kuria tribe in Kenya, where women are caught up
0:01:28 > 0:01:32in the clash between age-old tradition and the modern world.
0:01:32 > 0:01:35THEY SPEAK OWN LANGUAGE
0:01:35 > 0:01:37Is this dangerous for you, Susan?
0:01:42 > 0:01:44The matrilineal Khasi people in northern India...
0:01:47 > 0:01:51..where it's the women who take on positions of power.
0:01:51 > 0:01:54You're like a very strict headmistress.
0:01:54 > 0:01:56SHE SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE
0:02:01 > 0:02:02Hello.
0:02:02 > 0:02:04Now I'm in Israel, trying to access
0:02:04 > 0:02:08the intensely private, ultraorthodox Haredim...
0:02:08 > 0:02:09SHE SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE
0:02:13 > 0:02:16..to find out what it's like for Haredi women to live by
0:02:16 > 0:02:21what appear to me to be restrictive and archaic religious laws...
0:02:27 > 0:02:29..and what happens to those who reject them.
0:02:56 > 0:03:00This is Mea She'arim, a Haredi area of Jerusalem,
0:03:00 > 0:03:03home to around 9,500 people.
0:03:08 > 0:03:12The Haredim see themselves as the nation's spiritual guardians.
0:03:17 > 0:03:21During the Second World War, almost all Haredim were murdered
0:03:21 > 0:03:22in the Holocaust.
0:03:23 > 0:03:27When the state of Israel was created in 1948,
0:03:27 > 0:03:30the government offered survivors protection,
0:03:30 > 0:03:33somewhere where the Haredim could rebuild their world
0:03:33 > 0:03:34of religious study.
0:03:37 > 0:03:41For months, we've been trying to access this community.
0:03:41 > 0:03:45But most reject the media and any intrusion into their lives.
0:03:48 > 0:03:50Hello. Do you speak English?
0:03:52 > 0:03:53Yiddish. Oh, I'm sorry.
0:03:54 > 0:03:57The Haredim are dedicated to following God's laws,
0:03:57 > 0:04:01known as Halakha, derived from their holy book,
0:04:01 > 0:04:04the Torah, and they're forthright about how visitors
0:04:04 > 0:04:06should conduct themselves.
0:04:06 > 0:04:09There's a sign up on the wall here.
0:04:09 > 0:04:12I don't think I've ever seen anything like this before,
0:04:12 > 0:04:15but it's very polite. It says, "To women and girls who pass through
0:04:15 > 0:04:18"our neighbourhood, we beg you with all our hearts, please do not pass
0:04:18 > 0:04:21"through our neighbourhood in immodest clothes.
0:04:21 > 0:04:24"Modest clothes include a closed blouse..."
0:04:24 > 0:04:26- I'm not sure whether I'm closed enough -
0:04:26 > 0:04:30"..with long sleeves, a long skirt, no tight-fitting clothes.
0:04:30 > 0:04:32"Please do not distress us by disturbing the sanctity
0:04:32 > 0:04:34"of our neighbourhood and our way of life,
0:04:34 > 0:04:36"as Jews committed to God and his Torah."
0:04:39 > 0:04:41I know so little about this world.
0:04:41 > 0:04:46I've heard that there's strict segregation between boys and girls,
0:04:46 > 0:04:49that women must wear a wig when they leave the house
0:04:49 > 0:04:52and that they're expected to have huge numbers of children.
0:04:52 > 0:04:55But how much of that is just hearsay?
0:05:00 > 0:05:02- I don't know whether... - Stop filming.
0:05:02 > 0:05:05There's a lot of people looking at us and on the phone and stuff.
0:05:05 > 0:05:06OK. OK.
0:05:06 > 0:05:07OK, all right.
0:05:14 > 0:05:16Well, no-one promised you it's going to be easy.
0:05:16 > 0:05:19- That's very true. - We said it's going to be hard.
0:05:19 > 0:05:24My translator, Alon, is a secular Jew, but knows this community well.
0:05:24 > 0:05:27Some of them see TV as the enemy.
0:05:27 > 0:05:29- Right.- And they don't want to bring it home, because it's
0:05:29 > 0:05:33a bad influence, and many times they...
0:05:34 > 0:05:40They have experience with mostly local TV, that will criticise them.
0:05:40 > 0:05:41Yeah.
0:05:41 > 0:05:44So, they are very defensive.
0:05:44 > 0:05:48I mean, I tell you, one woman I talked to...
0:05:48 > 0:05:50she says, "Look, Alon, it's not a matter of me being nice,
0:05:50 > 0:05:53"or not being nice, or I think you're very nice.
0:05:53 > 0:05:58"But my girls could get thrown out of school if I go on TV."
0:05:59 > 0:06:00Really?!
0:06:03 > 0:06:06But other places, you know, it could mean your daughter is going
0:06:06 > 0:06:09to find it harder to find a husband,
0:06:09 > 0:06:13because she's been on TV and that's not modest.
0:06:13 > 0:06:16Many people tell me it's not modest for a woman to be on TV.
0:06:17 > 0:06:20- Don't point your finger at me! - Kate Humble!
0:06:33 > 0:06:36A rabbi has agreed to meet me.
0:06:36 > 0:06:40Haredi people consult their rabbis about all aspects of their lives.
0:06:40 > 0:06:44So, I'm hoping that Rabbi Gellis can help me meet and talk
0:06:44 > 0:06:47to some members of this very private community.
0:06:48 > 0:06:49- Thank you.- Shalom. Shalom.
0:06:51 > 0:06:52Thank you.
0:06:53 > 0:06:54Wow, look at your view.
0:06:59 > 0:07:02HE SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE
0:07:21 > 0:07:25So, all these people here that live here, they're your congregation?
0:07:25 > 0:07:27So, you can keep an eye on them?
0:07:27 > 0:07:28Temple, temple.
0:07:28 > 0:07:30- Another temple here?- Yes.- OK.
0:07:32 > 0:07:33- OK.- Thank you.
0:07:34 > 0:07:39I confess, I've come here with preconceptions of Haredi life.
0:07:40 > 0:07:43The first thing I think I need to check,
0:07:43 > 0:07:46because I saw the sign on the street in Mea She'arim...
0:07:48 > 0:07:51..that women should be modestly dressed.
0:07:51 > 0:07:52Am I modest enough?
0:08:01 > 0:08:02OK, so maybe if I did this?
0:08:04 > 0:08:06Whoops. Like this?
0:08:06 > 0:08:07- Is that better?- OK.
0:08:21 > 0:08:23OK.
0:08:23 > 0:08:25Is there anything I should know if I...
0:08:27 > 0:08:30..go into a Haredi house? I mean, I noticed that you made it
0:08:30 > 0:08:34very easy for me. I shouldn't shake your hand, that's right, isn't it?
0:08:34 > 0:08:38Should I just not touch anybody?
0:09:10 > 0:09:11What are you saying?
0:09:23 > 0:09:26OK. The word Haredi, does it mean anything?
0:09:26 > 0:09:28Does it have a particular significance?
0:09:47 > 0:09:48OK.
0:09:50 > 0:09:55I'm grateful for his help, but I'm rather taken aback that Rabbi Gellis
0:09:55 > 0:09:58thinks I'm on an important holy mission.
0:10:03 > 0:10:07There are many different groups among the Haredim,
0:10:07 > 0:10:11ranging from the most zealously hostile to secular society,
0:10:11 > 0:10:13to the more outward-facing Chabad.
0:10:15 > 0:10:18We're trying to get access to a woman within this group,
0:10:18 > 0:10:21so I can get some insight into their way of life.
0:10:23 > 0:10:27Even if they agree and say their husband agrees,
0:10:27 > 0:10:28and the rabbi agrees...
0:10:30 > 0:10:34..is there a risk to them that the rest of the community
0:10:34 > 0:10:37could turn on them, even though everybody said, yes, they can do it?
0:10:37 > 0:10:42People who do it are probably in a community they know won't...
0:10:43 > 0:10:45Be that judgmental against them?
0:10:45 > 0:10:46Won't be that judgmental.
0:10:52 > 0:10:59Three people agreed and then decided at the last minute to pull out.
0:10:59 > 0:11:02So, this is the fourth time lucky, I'm hoping.
0:11:02 > 0:11:06And this is apparently one of the more relaxed Haredi communities.
0:11:06 > 0:11:09The woman I'm meeting here is Miriam,
0:11:09 > 0:11:11and I'm hoping that she's going to let us in.
0:11:22 > 0:11:23Hello?
0:11:24 > 0:11:26Miriam, thank you so much.
0:11:26 > 0:11:29- Oh, hello. - It's lovely to meet you.
0:11:29 > 0:11:32Welcome. I'm very happy.
0:11:32 > 0:11:34This is my husband, Rabbi Haviv.
0:11:34 > 0:11:36Hello, Rabbi Haviv.
0:11:36 > 0:11:39- My name is Kate.- Haviv.
0:11:39 > 0:11:40Haviv. Lovely to meet you.
0:11:40 > 0:11:42- Thank you so much for having us in. - Come.
0:11:44 > 0:11:46Oh, it's lovely and cool in here.
0:11:46 > 0:11:47Oh, thanks.
0:11:48 > 0:11:51- Shall I sit here?- Sit, yeah, yeah. - Thank you.- Sit here.
0:11:55 > 0:11:57Just looking at your family photographs.
0:11:59 > 0:12:00- This is...- This is your family?
0:12:00 > 0:12:03Especially my family.
0:12:03 > 0:12:04It's an amazing family.
0:12:06 > 0:12:09How... How many members of your family are there?
0:12:11 > 0:12:12- 15.- 15?
0:12:12 > 0:12:15- 15 child.- Yeah.- Yeah.
0:12:15 > 0:12:16- You have 15?- Yeah!
0:12:18 > 0:12:20- Miriam!- Eight girl...
0:12:20 > 0:12:22- Yeah.- ...and seven boys.
0:12:22 > 0:12:24Oh, my goodness!
0:12:24 > 0:12:26And do you have grandchildren as well?
0:12:26 > 0:12:27Yeah. 26.
0:12:27 > 0:12:29KATE LAUGHS
0:12:30 > 0:12:3126.
0:12:31 > 0:12:33SHE SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE
0:12:47 > 0:12:48Can I ask something?
0:12:48 > 0:12:50You look very beautiful.
0:12:51 > 0:12:58But I didn't think that young Haredi women would wear make-up.
0:12:58 > 0:13:00Yeah, because...
0:13:28 > 0:13:30And your wife is being...
0:13:30 > 0:13:34Is very generous and inviting us into the home.
0:13:34 > 0:13:37Do you feel comfortable about us being here?
0:13:37 > 0:13:38Is it OK?
0:13:42 > 0:13:43Thank you.
0:14:03 > 0:14:05Miriam has already surprised me.
0:14:05 > 0:14:09She's so open and is now whisking me off on a shopping trip
0:14:09 > 0:14:12with her daughter, Aurelia, and husband Haviv.
0:14:37 > 0:14:41Every week, Haredi families prepare for Shabbat, their holy day,
0:14:41 > 0:14:44which begins at dusk on a Friday.
0:14:44 > 0:14:46But for Miriam and her family,
0:14:46 > 0:14:50groundwork starts days before in preparation for the arrival
0:14:50 > 0:14:52of up to 40 guests.
0:15:43 > 0:15:47So you couldn't eat an eel, for example? You know...
0:15:48 > 0:15:50Yeah, an eel. What's an eel?
0:15:52 > 0:15:55- Absolutely not? - Absolutely.
0:15:55 > 0:15:57- Absolutely.- Good, OK.
0:15:57 > 0:15:58I'm learning!
0:16:02 > 0:16:07I'm amazed that Miriam's hoping for relaxation on kosher laws,
0:16:07 > 0:16:10and wonder how she stands on other Orthodox rules.
0:16:12 > 0:16:15And there's one quite personal question I've been
0:16:15 > 0:16:17wanting to ask her ever since we met.
0:16:18 > 0:16:21I heard that, when a Haredi woman goes away from the house...
0:16:22 > 0:16:24..she needs to wear a wig.
0:16:25 > 0:16:28And your hair is beautiful and I can't tell whether it is
0:16:28 > 0:16:31a wig or not, and I don't know whether that is true.
0:16:31 > 0:16:33And I feel very rude asking you.
0:17:27 > 0:17:29With the epic shopping trip complete,
0:17:29 > 0:17:34Haviv joins a group of men in the supermarket prayer room.
0:17:34 > 0:17:38Jewish men are meant to pray three times a day, wherever they are,
0:17:38 > 0:17:42so prayer rooms, or synagogues like this, are found throughout Israel.
0:18:06 > 0:18:09I just wanted to ask you, when we were in the supermarket,
0:18:09 > 0:18:14you went away to pray while we were shopping.
0:18:16 > 0:18:18Was it to pray that the bill wouldn't be too high?
0:18:26 > 0:18:29So, when you married Haviv...
0:18:30 > 0:18:33..was he as domesticated then as he is now?
0:18:57 > 0:19:00How long have you... ? How many years have you been married?
0:19:03 > 0:19:0437 years!
0:19:13 > 0:19:16Haviv, she's a romantic, your wife!
0:19:16 > 0:19:17THEY LAUGH
0:19:58 > 0:20:01There are strict rules to enforce Shabbat,
0:20:01 > 0:20:05the seventh day of the week, which, according to Jewish Scriptures,
0:20:05 > 0:20:07God decreed as a day of rest.
0:20:09 > 0:20:13You can't cook from Friday night to Saturday night, is that right?
0:20:20 > 0:20:21Nothing?
0:20:29 > 0:20:33Would it be OK if I came back tomorrow?
0:20:33 > 0:20:35- Of course.- Yeah? Is that all right?
0:20:36 > 0:20:37OK.
0:20:40 > 0:20:42- That would be wonderful. Thank you. - Thank you.
0:20:42 > 0:20:43Thank you, thank you, thank you.
0:20:48 > 0:20:52I love the relationship between Miriam and her husband.
0:20:52 > 0:20:55That's the thing, I think, that has surprised me the most.
0:20:55 > 0:21:01I thought... I don't know, I thought it would be all rather dour and,
0:21:01 > 0:21:06you know, separate and a bit severe, and not a bit of it!
0:21:06 > 0:21:09They are this sort of wonderful couple,
0:21:09 > 0:21:10there's loads of banter between them.
0:21:10 > 0:21:14She absolutely rules him with a rod of iron.
0:21:14 > 0:21:18It was just a lovely, joyful family afternoon,
0:21:18 > 0:21:20and I've never had so much fun peeling potatoes.
0:21:38 > 0:21:42We're going to be next to the old city walls now.
0:21:42 > 0:21:46- So, down there is the Church of Gethsemane.- Mm-hm.
0:21:48 > 0:21:51And that's the Mount of Olives. Mount of Olives up there.
0:21:51 > 0:21:53That's the Mount of Olives up there.
0:21:53 > 0:21:55And this is where Jesus is believed to have walked in
0:21:55 > 0:21:59and toppled down the money changers.
0:21:59 > 0:22:00Oh, OK.
0:22:08 > 0:22:13This, the Western Wall, is the most holy place of worship for all Jews.
0:22:14 > 0:22:18After the Holocaust, the new Israeli government viewed the Haredim
0:22:18 > 0:22:20as a minority in need of protection.
0:22:23 > 0:22:27But 70 years later, they're the fastest-growing Jewish group,
0:22:27 > 0:22:32making up around 10% of the overall population.
0:22:32 > 0:22:36And as the Haredim expand, so does their political power.
0:22:40 > 0:22:45This ability to lobby the government has created increasing tension
0:22:45 > 0:22:47with Israel's secular community.
0:22:47 > 0:22:49THEY SPEAK OWN LANGUAGE
0:22:51 > 0:22:55One of the most contentious issues is conscription.
0:22:55 > 0:22:58In Israel, young people, both men and women,
0:22:58 > 0:23:01must serve up to three years in the Army.
0:23:01 > 0:23:04The Haredim were always exempt from this national service.
0:23:08 > 0:23:10Not because they are pacifists,
0:23:10 > 0:23:13but so they could devote their time to studying religious texts.
0:23:16 > 0:23:19But in 2013, the government announced it wanted
0:23:19 > 0:23:22to change the law to include Haredi men.
0:23:33 > 0:23:37CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:23:37 > 0:23:40The community took to the streets in protest.
0:23:41 > 0:23:46The government pushed through the law to end the exemption in 2014,
0:23:46 > 0:23:48but just a year later,
0:23:48 > 0:23:52they decided not to act on it because of Haredi pressure.
0:24:00 > 0:24:04Here in Jerusalem, it's Friday afternoon,
0:24:04 > 0:24:06just hours before the start of Shabbat.
0:24:08 > 0:24:12This is another area of conflict, with the Haredim lobbying
0:24:12 > 0:24:16for more and more areas to adhere to the laws of Shabbat.
0:24:18 > 0:24:21Everyone is rushing to get their shopping done
0:24:21 > 0:24:25before businesses and roads must shut down for the holy day.
0:24:30 > 0:24:32Did you hear anything...
0:24:34 > 0:24:36..from Miriam? Do you think there's any chance we can film Shabbat
0:24:36 > 0:24:38with them?
0:24:38 > 0:24:40Hmmm.
0:24:40 > 0:24:42I think very low chance of filming Shabbat.
0:24:44 > 0:24:47It's sort of against the rules and...
0:24:49 > 0:24:53..I think they keep the rules, religious rules, pretty strictly.
0:24:53 > 0:24:54There's not...
0:24:54 > 0:24:58So, even though we're doing the work and we're not...
0:24:58 > 0:25:00The fact that they're being filmed
0:25:00 > 0:25:03would be against the rules, you think?
0:25:03 > 0:25:09It's the fact they're being filmed and the fact they will be seen on TV
0:25:09 > 0:25:11- on Shabbat.- Right.
0:25:11 > 0:25:16So, it will seem to people like they have maybe worked on Shabbat.
0:25:22 > 0:25:23KNOCK ON DOOR
0:25:23 > 0:25:25- Shalom.- Shalom!
0:25:26 > 0:25:29- Shalom, Shalom.- Wow!
0:25:29 > 0:25:32- It's beautiful!- I bought for you to say happy Shabbat!
0:25:38 > 0:25:43So, today, across the whole of Israel,
0:25:43 > 0:25:45there will be women making this bread?
0:26:23 > 0:26:24Very, very elegant.
0:26:26 > 0:26:28- Nice wig.- Yeah?- Yeah. I like it.
0:26:35 > 0:26:37It's very, very nice.
0:26:37 > 0:26:40- It's very nice. - It's different.- It's very different.
0:26:56 > 0:27:00So, Haviv and Miriam have asked that we don't stay,
0:27:00 > 0:27:04because they feel it wouldn't be appropriate for them or their family
0:27:04 > 0:27:06to be filmed celebrating Shabbat.
0:27:06 > 0:27:09So, we're going to leave them in peace,
0:27:09 > 0:27:12to all that lovely food, which I'm now missing out on!
0:27:29 > 0:27:32There are literally minutes until sunset and the start of Shabbat.
0:27:36 > 0:27:40Self-appointed Haredi men make sure that markets traders
0:27:40 > 0:27:41close up in time.
0:27:43 > 0:27:47Not to would be a violation of religious laws.
0:28:01 > 0:28:06They will be shut for business until Shabbat ends in 24 hours' time.
0:28:17 > 0:28:19Shabbat is over for another week.
0:28:21 > 0:28:23As well as being a day of rest,
0:28:23 > 0:28:26it also seems to be a celebration of family life
0:28:26 > 0:28:31and to reinforce what is required to be a good Haredi woman -
0:28:32 > 0:28:37a mother, a provider, the pivot around which the family revolves.
0:28:39 > 0:28:43None of which is a bad thing, but it's the expectation
0:28:43 > 0:28:46that a woman wouldn't want or choose to do anything different
0:28:46 > 0:28:49that I find difficult to contemplate.
0:28:55 > 0:28:58I wonder how Miriam's daughter, Tehila, feels about
0:28:58 > 0:29:03being next in line to pursue this particular path of womanhood.
0:29:03 > 0:29:04SHE SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE
0:29:10 > 0:29:14Is it possible for a young Haredi woman, like you, to either
0:29:14 > 0:29:18decide to get married later or even to not get married at all?
0:29:32 > 0:29:34Have you met anybody yet?
0:29:34 > 0:29:38Have you had any meetings with a potential husband yet?
0:30:02 > 0:30:05Do you sit in your bedroom like this,
0:30:05 > 0:30:09or maybe go to a friend's house and talk about, I don't know,
0:30:09 > 0:30:11what it might be like to get married?
0:30:22 > 0:30:26So, you do have, I mean, what we would call sex education?
0:30:31 > 0:30:35- ALON:- She'd rather not answer in front of the camera.
0:30:35 > 0:30:37- That's completely fine. - She can tell you privately.
0:30:37 > 0:30:40I completely understand, yeah. We can have a girlie chat later.
0:30:40 > 0:30:44So, can you just meet somebody and spend some time with them
0:30:44 > 0:30:48before you have to make the decision that, "Yeah, this is...
0:30:48 > 0:30:49"I'm definitely going to marry him"?
0:31:08 > 0:31:14Once you have established that you have the same aims in life,
0:31:14 > 0:31:17do you also want your future husband to be very handsome?
0:31:28 > 0:31:32Tehila's clearly given a lot of thought to her ideal husband.
0:31:32 > 0:31:35I hope, one day, she'll find him.
0:31:37 > 0:31:40When Haredi women marry, there's a whole new set of rules
0:31:40 > 0:31:42that must be addressed.
0:31:42 > 0:31:44Gali?
0:31:44 > 0:31:45- Hi.- Hi!
0:31:45 > 0:31:46This is a shop devoted to wigs.
0:31:46 > 0:31:50- Hi, hello.- Hello.- I'm Kate. Lovely to meet you.
0:31:50 > 0:31:52- What's your name? - Elisheva.
0:31:52 > 0:31:56Elisheva. And, Elisheva, why are you at Gali's salon today?
0:31:56 > 0:31:58SHE SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE
0:32:01 > 0:32:02Ah-ha. OK.
0:32:06 > 0:32:07Very exciting.
0:32:13 > 0:32:16It looks, Gali, very realistic.
0:32:16 > 0:32:20Are the wigs made out of human hair, or...?
0:32:20 > 0:32:21What are they made out of?
0:32:23 > 0:32:25SHE SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE
0:32:40 > 0:32:43Does Mum think it's good?
0:32:43 > 0:32:45I think it's very...
0:32:45 > 0:32:47- You think it's too long? - Yes.- Do you?
0:32:49 > 0:32:50Oh, look.
0:32:51 > 0:32:53That's really beautiful.
0:32:56 > 0:32:57So, once you're married...
0:32:59 > 0:33:02...when do you...? When can you take off your wig?
0:33:02 > 0:33:05When can you just show your hair?
0:33:22 > 0:33:25Do you think, if your mother is a little worried,
0:33:25 > 0:33:28that your husband is going to think this is too long?
0:33:29 > 0:33:30What do you think?
0:33:45 > 0:33:48- It's not a lot longer than your own hair, is it?- No.
0:33:48 > 0:33:50No. So...
0:33:50 > 0:33:51I think that's a safe argument.
0:33:51 > 0:33:54You can have your first argument with your husband.
0:33:54 > 0:33:56"It's the same length as my hair.
0:33:56 > 0:33:57"That means I can keep it!"
0:34:02 > 0:34:03- ALON:- Do you want a wig?
0:34:03 > 0:34:05Me?
0:34:22 > 0:34:25I don't...! Ooh!
0:34:25 > 0:34:26OK, I'm getting your style wig.
0:34:26 > 0:34:29Oh, I quite... Oh, I quite like this!
0:34:29 > 0:34:31I don't feel very modest, I have to say.
0:34:32 > 0:34:35Ooh, I feel a bit rock star!
0:34:35 > 0:34:37Oh, I've got an ABBA flick.
0:34:37 > 0:34:39That's... I...
0:34:39 > 0:34:41I've wanted one of those since I was eight.
0:34:43 > 0:34:45That's fantastic.
0:34:49 > 0:34:50This is good!
0:34:52 > 0:34:53Thank you.
0:34:53 > 0:34:56I feel suddenly like someone's put the air conditioning on.
0:35:04 > 0:35:07While wig length might be in dispute,
0:35:07 > 0:35:10one thing is certain across the Haredim -
0:35:10 > 0:35:14once married, it's important to have lots of babies.
0:35:20 > 0:35:24Through Rabbi Gellis, we've managed to secure a meeting with Malkit,
0:35:24 > 0:35:27a woman who struggled to conceive.
0:35:27 > 0:35:29- Hi!- Shalom.- Shalom.
0:35:29 > 0:35:31How are you? Lovely to see you.
0:35:31 > 0:35:34Thank you so much for inviting me around.
0:35:34 > 0:35:37Who are these people down here?
0:35:37 > 0:35:39Can I come and meet your family?
0:35:39 > 0:35:41- Hello, girls.- Shalom.
0:35:41 > 0:35:44Shalom. Oh, what are you doing down here?
0:35:44 > 0:35:46Let's have a look.
0:35:46 > 0:35:48So, you have four boys.
0:35:50 > 0:35:51Five girls.
0:35:51 > 0:35:52Nine children.
0:35:52 > 0:35:55SHE SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE
0:35:59 > 0:36:03So, were you very worried that maybe you couldn't have children?
0:36:16 > 0:36:20Malkit had her twins and quadruplets through fertility treatment.
0:36:40 > 0:36:45Are you allowed to make a decision not to have any more children?
0:36:45 > 0:36:48Are you allowed to use contraception, for example?
0:36:56 > 0:36:58Do you plan to have any more children?
0:37:07 > 0:37:09But I'm wondering how a family like Malkit's copes
0:37:09 > 0:37:11with the expense of so many children.
0:37:20 > 0:37:22Does your husband work?
0:37:41 > 0:37:47So, does what he earns support all of you and all of the children?
0:37:47 > 0:37:49- I'm a teacher.- You're a teacher.
0:37:53 > 0:37:55- Special children.- Mm-hm.
0:38:01 > 0:38:04The Haredim have always received state benefits,
0:38:04 > 0:38:08including subsidies allowing men to pursue religious study.
0:38:08 > 0:38:13But as the population continues to grow, the government is making cuts.
0:38:13 > 0:38:17In 2013, it reduced child benefit,
0:38:17 > 0:38:20which has really hit the Haredim's large families.
0:38:22 > 0:38:26Nearly 50% of Haredim live below the poverty line,
0:38:26 > 0:38:29so many more women are going out to work.
0:38:31 > 0:38:33Clearly, the women who work...
0:38:34 > 0:38:38..bring in some money, but if you are...
0:38:38 > 0:38:42a part-time teacher, or even a full-time teacher,
0:38:42 > 0:38:47in a Haredi school, I can't imagine that the salary is enormous.
0:38:47 > 0:38:50Yeah, but now they are, I think,
0:38:50 > 0:38:55the work market is opening up for Haredi women tremendously.
0:38:55 > 0:38:57And a lot of them work in hi-tech.
0:38:57 > 0:39:03They even have sort of special hi-tech facilities,
0:39:03 > 0:39:05where only Haredi women work.
0:39:05 > 0:39:08- OK.- So they don't have to mix with other people.
0:39:08 > 0:39:10Is there any state income they get?
0:39:10 > 0:39:13Some money from the government for learning...
0:39:14 > 0:39:16- ..the Torah, so there is some allowance.- OK.
0:39:16 > 0:39:18And it is that unique to the Haredi?
0:39:18 > 0:39:24Does any other religion or any other people in Israel get money
0:39:24 > 0:39:27from the government, simply for studying?
0:39:30 > 0:39:31Not that I know of.
0:39:34 > 0:39:37While half of all Haredi men continue with their studies
0:39:37 > 0:39:43well into adulthood, it's left to the women to go out to work,
0:39:43 > 0:39:44and Miriam is no exception.
0:39:46 > 0:39:48Teaching is a popular career choice.
0:39:48 > 0:39:51Girls and boys are taught in separate classrooms
0:39:51 > 0:39:53from the age of three.
0:39:53 > 0:39:55Surprisingly, Miriam teaches boys.
0:40:00 > 0:40:03The focus is on reciting religious texts.
0:40:03 > 0:40:05THEY SPEAK OWN LANGUAGE
0:40:15 > 0:40:19Why is it important for children to be taught separately?
0:40:29 > 0:40:34When you say that boys and girls are taught slightly different things,
0:40:34 > 0:40:40would girls learn sort of other subjects, other than the Torah?
0:41:05 > 0:41:10According to state law, boys are meant to study up to 11 hours a week
0:41:10 > 0:41:12of maths, literacy and science.
0:41:14 > 0:41:18In 2014, the government cut funding for schools
0:41:18 > 0:41:20that didn't adhere to this.
0:41:20 > 0:41:23But, once again, under pressure from the Haredim,
0:41:23 > 0:41:27the law was overturned in 2016.
0:41:27 > 0:41:31Haredi men's education is intellectually demanding,
0:41:31 > 0:41:35but entirely focused around the discussion of Jewish text.
0:41:35 > 0:41:39Unsurprisingly, few young men qualify for secular universities.
0:41:56 > 0:41:58This is a real eye-opener.
0:41:58 > 0:42:03Boys, it seems, have much less of a choice in education than girls.
0:42:05 > 0:42:08With a broader, more secular education,
0:42:08 > 0:42:11women have more employment opportunities.
0:42:11 > 0:42:16In fact, up to 75% of Haredi women are in paid work.
0:42:20 > 0:42:22I'm slightly in awe of these women,
0:42:22 > 0:42:24how they juggle being the main breadwinner
0:42:24 > 0:42:27and raise enormous families.
0:42:27 > 0:42:28It's very impressive.
0:42:36 > 0:42:41But it's been so difficult to speak to anyone about the negative aspects
0:42:41 > 0:42:43of this very prescriptive culture.
0:42:45 > 0:42:49So I've come to an organisation called Hillel in nearby Tel Aviv.
0:42:49 > 0:42:53- Hello!- I'm Kate. Are you Aviva? - Aviva.- It's lovely to meet you.
0:42:53 > 0:42:58Every year, one in ten women leave the Haredi way of life.
0:42:58 > 0:43:01This charity offers them support.
0:43:01 > 0:43:02Shall I come here? Hi, ladies.
0:43:02 > 0:43:06- Hello. Sorry, I'm a little bit late. ALL:- Hi!- Hi!
0:43:06 > 0:43:11So, have all of you left a religious community?
0:43:13 > 0:43:14- Yes.- All of you?
0:43:14 > 0:43:16SHE SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE
0:43:31 > 0:43:32And you're all nodding.
0:43:32 > 0:43:35Is that your...? Did you all feel that?
0:43:35 > 0:43:39The girl's supposed to take care of the house and the children,
0:43:39 > 0:43:41the boys and adults.
0:43:41 > 0:43:44We have eight boys and they're like kings.
0:43:44 > 0:43:46They never do anything.
0:43:46 > 0:43:49- Everyone agree with me. - Is that true?
0:43:49 > 0:43:51SHE SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE
0:44:09 > 0:44:11Did you...? This is a very personal question.
0:44:11 > 0:44:13I'm sorry, cos we've only just met.
0:44:13 > 0:44:19Do you feel able to tell me what it was about the marriage
0:44:19 > 0:44:22to your husband that made your life so difficult?
0:45:24 > 0:45:26Wow.
0:45:50 > 0:45:53Aviva's ex-husband has denied her allegations.
0:45:56 > 0:45:59For legal reasons, I can't tell you so many things the women shared
0:45:59 > 0:46:03with me, but they left me shocked and horrified.
0:46:08 > 0:46:09My head...
0:46:11 > 0:46:12..is just spinning. I don't...
0:46:14 > 0:46:18I can't quite believe some of those stories that I heard tonight.
0:46:18 > 0:46:22I have... I don't think I've ever been so...
0:46:23 > 0:46:27..moved, shocked, inspired by a group of women, ever.
0:46:29 > 0:46:32The strength of them, the...
0:46:32 > 0:46:33dignity of them...
0:46:36 > 0:46:38..it's just... It's just...
0:46:40 > 0:46:43..incomprehensible what they've been through.
0:46:44 > 0:46:47If a Haredim person rejects their faith,
0:46:47 > 0:46:52it seems it's tantamount to a rejection of their whole identity.
0:46:52 > 0:46:56But my goodness, I have never, ever felt so grateful
0:46:56 > 0:46:58to have grown up the way that I did.
0:47:09 > 0:47:12The charity I visited is viewed with suspicion by many
0:47:12 > 0:47:17in the Haredi community, but I feel my relationship with Miriam
0:47:17 > 0:47:21is strong enough now to get her take on what happens to people
0:47:21 > 0:47:23who come into conflict with their faith.
0:47:24 > 0:47:30What happens if somebody, whether they're a child or even as an adult,
0:47:30 > 0:47:35somebody starts to question their faith?
0:48:20 > 0:48:21Is it possible for...
0:48:23 > 0:48:26..for Haredi couples to divorce if that's the last resort?
0:48:47 > 0:48:53And is there any stigma attached to either a person who's got divorced,
0:48:53 > 0:48:56or the family of the person who's got divorced?
0:49:10 > 0:49:12I don't want to be too confrontational with Miriam.
0:49:12 > 0:49:14I don't want to jeopardise our relationship,
0:49:14 > 0:49:17and I certainly don't want to be disrespectful towards her
0:49:17 > 0:49:20in any way.
0:49:20 > 0:49:23But I did find that frustrating.
0:49:23 > 0:49:27I just felt she was really evading the kind of true meaning
0:49:27 > 0:49:31of my questions and just sort of wriggling round them.
0:49:31 > 0:49:33She would acknowledge that, yes,
0:49:33 > 0:49:37there are problems within the community sometimes.
0:49:37 > 0:49:42But there was always a kind of happy solution to those problems.
0:49:42 > 0:49:46And I know, I've seen evidence, that that's not true.
0:49:48 > 0:49:51This has been one of the hardest communities to access
0:49:51 > 0:49:53that I've ever encountered.
0:49:53 > 0:49:56Clearly, there are so many differences between the way
0:49:56 > 0:50:00Miriam sees her life and the experiences of the women
0:50:00 > 0:50:01who've left the community.
0:50:07 > 0:50:11Before I leave Israel, I'm hoping to get one more perspective.
0:50:21 > 0:50:24We've made contact with a Haredi radio station,
0:50:24 > 0:50:28where one of their presenters has a daily phone-in show.
0:50:28 > 0:50:31SHE SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE
0:50:46 > 0:50:49- Are you on air? No, it's OK.- It's OK.
0:50:49 > 0:50:50Thanks, Rachel. Lovely to meet you.
0:50:50 > 0:50:52Lovely to meet you, too.
0:50:52 > 0:50:54I'm Rachel.
0:50:54 > 0:50:55Rachel!
0:50:57 > 0:51:01I didn't think a Haredi woman would even be allowed to be a broadcaster.
0:51:01 > 0:51:06Does your husband approve of your profession?
0:51:06 > 0:51:10Did you have to ask his permission to do the job that you do?
0:51:16 > 0:51:20Have you been through something very emotional and difficult
0:51:20 > 0:51:24in your life that makes you feel an empathy with the women
0:51:24 > 0:51:25that you talk to?
0:51:50 > 0:51:57It has been implied to me that there is violence against women.
0:51:57 > 0:52:00Is it a big problem in Haredi society?
0:52:01 > 0:52:03Is there abuse against women?
0:52:31 > 0:52:37I understand that there are things that can't be seen or spoken
0:52:37 > 0:52:41by Haredi people. Can you just tell me what those things are?
0:52:54 > 0:52:58The one thing I've heard - again, it may not be true -
0:52:58 > 0:53:02but that Kate Middleton is something of a Haredi...
0:53:04 > 0:53:06..icon for Haredi women.
0:53:07 > 0:53:11How do they even know about her if they've never seen an image
0:53:11 > 0:53:13- of a woman?- OK...
0:54:03 > 0:54:04That's wonderful.
0:54:22 > 0:54:29I would never, ever, ever have expected any Haredi woman
0:54:29 > 0:54:30to be like that.
0:54:32 > 0:54:34There's a lot. There is a lot like that.
0:54:36 > 0:54:38You know, not exactly like that, but...
0:54:40 > 0:54:43There's a lot of more modern Haredi women.
0:54:43 > 0:54:46You know, her comment when she said,
0:54:46 > 0:54:48"If I had to ask my husband's permission,
0:54:48 > 0:54:51- "I wouldn't have married him." - Yeah.- That's...
0:54:51 > 0:54:53That seems like a really big deal to me,
0:54:53 > 0:54:56a big thing from an Haredi point of view.
0:55:03 > 0:55:06During my time in Israel, I've discovered that the
0:55:06 > 0:55:09Haredi community is full of contradictions.
0:55:14 > 0:55:16Rachel manages to get glimpses of Kate Middleton...
0:55:18 > 0:55:23..and Miriam is happy to be filmed promoting her religious beliefs.
0:55:25 > 0:55:28Clearly, there are tensions when an age-old religion
0:55:28 > 0:55:31brushes up against the modern world.
0:55:32 > 0:55:35Rabbis guided by ancient books have the final word
0:55:35 > 0:55:40on life's most intimate decisions, from birth control to divorce.
0:55:41 > 0:55:46I've met women who could no longer live by the book, and those,
0:55:46 > 0:55:49like Miriam, who want to tell the world all about it.
0:55:49 > 0:55:51Shalom!
0:55:51 > 0:55:52Hello!
0:55:55 > 0:55:56So, Miriam...
0:55:57 > 0:56:02..I can't believe how generous you have been with your time.
0:56:03 > 0:56:06Have you had anyone, any of your friends saying,
0:56:06 > 0:56:08"Miriam, you're mad!
0:56:08 > 0:56:11"What are you doing letting these people into your house?"
0:56:25 > 0:56:30Well, will you please let me know if your daughters let you down, ever,
0:56:30 > 0:56:33with preparing food for Shabbat, and you need somebody
0:56:33 > 0:56:35to peel potatoes, just call me! I'll be here!
0:56:44 > 0:56:45Miriam!
0:56:47 > 0:56:49Thank you, thank you, thank you.
0:56:52 > 0:56:56I think many of us think, as Western women, that we kind of have it all.
0:56:56 > 0:57:00We have the ability to have careers, to have great education,
0:57:00 > 0:57:03to choose whether we have children, to get married.
0:57:04 > 0:57:08We can be gay or straight, we can even choose our gender,
0:57:08 > 0:57:10and it's not going to shock anybody any more.
0:57:12 > 0:57:15But are we happier for all that choice?
0:57:17 > 0:57:21We may not all choose to live by a strict set of rules,
0:57:21 > 0:57:26governed by ancient laws, and may even think they're wrong.
0:57:26 > 0:57:27All I know is that,
0:57:27 > 0:57:35wrapped up with all those choices comes an awful lot of angst,
0:57:35 > 0:57:40comes identity crises, comes insecurities,
0:57:40 > 0:57:42comes desperate unhappiness.
0:57:44 > 0:57:50Who's to say that living a life that is structured from day one,
0:57:50 > 0:57:53laid out for you right from the start,
0:57:53 > 0:57:56maybe that's something that we in the West would envy?
0:57:58 > 0:58:00- Hello.- Hi!
0:58:01 > 0:58:06Next time, I'm in India, with the matrilineal Khasi people.
0:58:06 > 0:58:10So, if you need money, do you have to ask Shitoah for that money?
0:58:10 > 0:58:12HE SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE
0:58:14 > 0:58:18A community that puts women at the forefront of society.
0:58:18 > 0:58:20SHE SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE
0:58:23 > 0:58:26But how are they coping as the modern world encroaches
0:58:26 > 0:58:29on their very traditional way of life?
0:58:29 > 0:58:31Gosh, that's quite a chink in your
0:58:31 > 0:58:34matrilineal utopian system, isn't it?
0:58:34 > 0:58:35Yes, not so utopian.