0:00:02 > 0:00:05This programme contains frank discussions and medical images.
0:00:05 > 0:00:11For many people, the late teens and early 20s is a time for experimenting with sex.
0:00:11 > 0:00:14This is a film about what happens in our bodies and brains
0:00:14 > 0:00:17- at this crucial stage.- Girls!
0:00:17 > 0:00:21I love exploring sex just as much as I love eating, and I love eating.
0:00:21 > 0:00:26We follow young people as they explore their sexual urges with many partners.
0:00:28 > 0:00:30I do enjoy casual sex with, I s'pose, anyone.
0:00:30 > 0:00:33But if I wanted to go out and have sex,
0:00:33 > 0:00:35it would be easy to get with a guy.
0:00:35 > 0:00:38And track the physical and psychological effects of promiscuous sex.
0:00:38 > 0:00:43I think I was just so desperate for sex, I didn't care where it was.
0:00:43 > 0:00:46With access to cutting-edge science and computer graphics.
0:00:46 > 0:00:50we show the massive impact these sexual rites of passage have.
0:00:50 > 0:00:54The Valhalla orgasm. I've never had an orgasm quite like it.
0:00:54 > 0:00:57And find out what happens
0:00:57 > 0:01:00when people in their 20s have no desire for sex.
0:01:00 > 0:01:05I don't look at people and think "Hm, yeah, I'd have sex with you."
0:01:05 > 0:01:07That kind of just doesn't happen.
0:01:07 > 0:01:12Our sexual experiences at this stage of life can have a major effect on our future.
0:01:12 > 0:01:16I was just given what I thought at the time was a death sentence.
0:01:16 > 0:01:21Through the highs and the lows, this is the inside story of how sex works.
0:01:37 > 0:01:41Peter is a 25-year-old model and aspiring actor from London.
0:01:41 > 0:01:45He's single, and sex plays an important part in his life.
0:01:45 > 0:01:50I love exploring sex as much as I love eating...and I love eating.
0:01:50 > 0:01:52It's got to the point these days
0:01:52 > 0:01:57where if I don't have sex within a certain space of time, my attitude changes.
0:01:57 > 0:02:02I get moody and sex has become such a massive part of my life
0:02:02 > 0:02:05that it's kind of second nature now.
0:02:05 > 0:02:09It's kind of like breathe, eat, sex.
0:02:09 > 0:02:10Sleep.
0:02:10 > 0:02:14The male sex drive hits its peak in our early 20s.
0:02:14 > 0:02:19At this life stage, men think about sex on average 19 times a day,
0:02:19 > 0:02:22although women aren't far behind with ten.
0:02:22 > 0:02:28I'll probably, in a month, sleep with about five or six different girls.
0:02:31 > 0:02:35For Peter, when it comes to hooking up with girls,
0:02:35 > 0:02:38making the right impression counts.
0:02:38 > 0:02:42I'm very image-conscious and I love to make a good impression
0:02:42 > 0:02:45to the point that even I'm going to the corner shop,
0:02:45 > 0:02:48I've gotta dress like I'm going somewhere important.
0:02:48 > 0:02:53You never know who you're going to bump into so you've always gotta look your best, right?
0:02:55 > 0:02:59I've got shirts. I've got cardigans.
0:02:59 > 0:03:03Polos, t-shirts, all colour-coded, obviously.
0:03:03 > 0:03:08I bought this jacket because P Diddy's got it. It looks so nice.
0:03:08 > 0:03:12It's like Pimp Daddy Cool. Look at it.
0:03:13 > 0:03:17You must have more clothes than some of the girls you've seen.
0:03:17 > 0:03:18Yeah, I do.
0:03:18 > 0:03:22A lot of them say "Oh, my gosh, you've got more clothes than me."
0:03:22 > 0:03:24But I just say...yeah.
0:03:28 > 0:03:32Looking his best boosts Peter's confidence to approach girls
0:03:32 > 0:03:36and he's careful not to let any opportunities pass by.
0:03:36 > 0:03:40With a girl, if I walk past a random on the street, you've got a minute.
0:03:40 > 0:03:43"OK, cool, do I need her in my life?" Yeah? No? Yeah?
0:03:43 > 0:03:45OK, sure, I need her. Approach. Bam.
0:03:45 > 0:03:49If you like it, go for it. If you don't...
0:03:49 > 0:03:50don't go for it.
0:03:50 > 0:03:54But don't get home a few hours later thinking "Damn!"
0:03:54 > 0:04:00cos you had your chance - all you've gotta do is pull down your balls and just go for it.
0:04:00 > 0:04:05Da-da-da-da...you.
0:04:05 > 0:04:08Come to Papa.
0:04:10 > 0:04:14Nah. I wouldn't do that to ya.
0:04:14 > 0:04:20- Tonight, Peter's out on the pull in London's West End with his mate and fellow model Roberto.- Girls!
0:04:20 > 0:04:24- 20 quid you can't bring her back here.- 20 quid.- 20 quid.
0:04:24 > 0:04:28- Ladies, where are you off to tonight? - Huh?- Where you off to tonight?
0:04:28 > 0:04:31- Drinks or food?- Food.
0:04:31 > 0:04:35'If I'm walking down the street and I see a physically sexy woman,'
0:04:35 > 0:04:37my first thought is "OK, cool, she looks nice."
0:04:37 > 0:04:40Second thought is "What does she look like naked?"
0:04:40 > 0:04:43I don't know if that's an obsession or craving but, hey, it's me.
0:04:43 > 0:04:47I'm sitting here with my friend and we saw you two walk past.
0:04:47 > 0:04:50Many factors feed into how sexually driven we are.
0:04:50 > 0:04:52But one of the most important is testosterone,
0:04:52 > 0:04:55the primary male sex hormone.
0:04:55 > 0:04:59Large-scale testosterone production in males kicks in at puberty
0:04:59 > 0:05:01and reaches its peak in our early 20s.
0:05:01 > 0:05:04The hormone is released from the testes
0:05:04 > 0:05:08and other glands into the bloodstream at regular pulsating rhythms
0:05:08 > 0:05:11where it's carried to receptors all over the body.
0:05:11 > 0:05:13When it docks at these receptors,
0:05:13 > 0:05:17it can trigger major changes in our behaviour, not least our sex drive.
0:05:17 > 0:05:22Testosterone receptors are found on nerve cells in our brain
0:05:22 > 0:05:26and the hormone interacts and binds with these nerve cells,
0:05:26 > 0:05:28relaying important messages for action.
0:05:28 > 0:05:34And in young males, that action is go out and compete with other men for a mate.
0:05:34 > 0:05:36We'll probably be here for another hour or so,
0:05:36 > 0:05:40- so probably have your Thai food and join us for a drink. - That sounds very good.
0:05:40 > 0:05:43Yeah? I'll see you later. KISSING SOUNDS
0:05:43 > 0:05:45Enjoy your evening, ladies.
0:05:48 > 0:05:53I enjoy the art that is sex so much that I want to be Picasso in it.
0:05:53 > 0:05:57If I could be Picasso in anything, it would be sex.
0:05:57 > 0:06:03Because I think it's so great to kind of explore our bodies as humans.
0:06:07 > 0:06:10What did you want, sir?
0:06:10 > 0:06:13PhD student Ruthie is 26 and lives on her own in London.
0:06:13 > 0:06:17She's single, but that doesn't mean she doesn't have sex.
0:06:17 > 0:06:22Sex is incredibly important to me. Sex is a very important part of my life.
0:06:22 > 0:06:30I like sex with lots of people. I like sex with different people.
0:06:30 > 0:06:32And I like a lot of it.
0:06:32 > 0:06:34And I think "promiscuous" is the best word for that.
0:06:34 > 0:06:37And I don't think there's any harm in that word.
0:06:37 > 0:06:41Right now, Ruthie doesn't want to be tied down to exploring sex
0:06:41 > 0:06:44with just one person.
0:06:44 > 0:06:49I have one regular lover, I have a special occasion lover,
0:06:49 > 0:06:56I have a group of people who I go to parties with...and they are my lovers at these parties.
0:06:57 > 0:07:03Tonight Ruthie and her friends are getting ready to go to an alternative club night in town.
0:07:03 > 0:07:05It's a night of possibilities,
0:07:05 > 0:07:08and I'm very looking forward to it and seeing what happens.
0:07:08 > 0:07:14Sex is definitely on my mind right now...the horny devil that I am!
0:07:15 > 0:07:21The female sex drive hits its peak between the ages of 30 and 40,
0:07:21 > 0:07:24although for no-strings sex before marriage and babies kick in,
0:07:24 > 0:07:26the 20s are often the golden years.
0:07:28 > 0:07:33Just like in men, the female sex drive is influenced by testosterone.
0:07:33 > 0:07:39It's produced in women's ovaries and adrenal glands, although at around 1/10th of the levels it is in men,
0:07:39 > 0:07:42so its impact is less pronounced.
0:07:42 > 0:07:45Other chemicals are at play though, and one of these is dopamine,
0:07:45 > 0:07:48the so-called pleasure chemical.
0:07:48 > 0:07:51When we do something we enjoy, like having sex or eating chocolate,
0:07:51 > 0:07:55dopamine is released from tiny nerve cells inside the brain.
0:07:55 > 0:08:00These dopamine molecules travel across what's called the synapse
0:08:00 > 0:08:03and dock on to receptors on neighbouring nerve cells.
0:08:03 > 0:08:08This triggers a chain reaction of pleasure messages all over the brain.
0:08:08 > 0:08:12A heavy hit of dopamine when we're getting intimate with someone
0:08:12 > 0:08:15can be the same as when drug users take a substance like cocaine.
0:08:15 > 0:08:20So once we've had a hit, it makes us want to come rushing back for more.
0:08:22 > 0:08:24It's just so exciting.
0:08:24 > 0:08:27Having amazing sex in different ways with different people.
0:08:27 > 0:08:31It is fun if you do it safely.
0:08:34 > 0:08:38Ruthie's interest in sex with lots of partners was sparked
0:08:38 > 0:08:40after she lost her virginity at 21.
0:08:41 > 0:08:43I lost my virginity quite late.
0:08:43 > 0:08:48I was still dealing with a lot of things from being a teenager
0:08:48 > 0:08:51and also not really sure where I wanted my life to go
0:08:51 > 0:08:55and I kept seeing everyone around me losing their virginity to people they loved
0:08:55 > 0:08:58and then having their hearts crushed and burned,
0:08:58 > 0:09:02and I said "Why am I hanging about for one of these relationships
0:09:02 > 0:09:06"to lose my virginity if that's what happens?"
0:09:06 > 0:09:09So I hooked up with someone I knew was very worldly
0:09:09 > 0:09:14and it was good and...really very good for first time ever
0:09:14 > 0:09:19and it kind of set the standard for the rest of my sexual experiences.
0:09:20 > 0:09:24Catch up during the night, see where you guys are up to...yeah?
0:09:24 > 0:09:26Awesome.
0:09:26 > 0:09:29Like Ruthie, Peter also thinks he came to sex late.
0:09:29 > 0:09:33'A lot of people expect me to lose my virginity at, like, 12,'
0:09:33 > 0:09:36but I didn't - I lost it at, like, 17 and a half.
0:09:36 > 0:09:42Which for me, unlike my circle of friends, was pretty good.
0:09:42 > 0:09:47But Peter's love of sex doesn't mean every encounter is memorable.
0:09:47 > 0:09:50I had sex the other day and it was just not good.
0:09:52 > 0:09:56So I was actually thinking "Am I having sex too much
0:09:56 > 0:09:58"so should I limit the amount I have sex
0:09:58 > 0:10:03"so it doesn't get boring, or was it her that was boring?"
0:10:03 > 0:10:07It's funny because I've slept with girls that sexually I'm so attracted to,
0:10:07 > 0:10:11and the orgasm has been amazing. But the sex hasn't been great.
0:10:11 > 0:10:14But the orgasm's been amazing.
0:10:14 > 0:10:18For men, the reward for all their hard work trying to win a mate
0:10:18 > 0:10:22is one of the most powerful natural highs a human can experience - orgasm.
0:10:24 > 0:10:28The male orgasm typically starts with an erection.
0:10:28 > 0:10:31As arousal builds in the body, messages are sent from the brain
0:10:31 > 0:10:35telling muscles at the base of the penis to relax, allowing blood to flow in.
0:10:35 > 0:10:38Excitement builds as penetration begins
0:10:38 > 0:10:42and the penis is stimulated by friction within the vaginal walls.
0:10:42 > 0:10:46At the start of climax, messages are sent telling
0:10:46 > 0:10:50the muscles of the semen ducts at the base of the penis to contract.
0:10:52 > 0:10:58Sperm, which is made and stored in the testicles, is mixed with sugar, proteins and enzymes
0:10:58 > 0:11:00that are stored in the prostate gland.
0:11:00 > 0:11:04This liquid mix is pumped out as semen through the urethra,
0:11:04 > 0:11:07the tube running through the penis.
0:11:07 > 0:11:11At the point of climax, vigorous muscle contractions
0:11:11 > 0:11:14thrust the semen out at an average speed of 28 miles per hour.
0:11:14 > 0:11:17In this split second, chemicals are released in the brain
0:11:17 > 0:11:21spreading messages of intense pleasure throughout the body.
0:11:21 > 0:11:26It can be an addictive sensation that has a clear biological purpose -
0:11:26 > 0:11:29the more men orgasm, the more they ejaculate, allowing them
0:11:29 > 0:11:33to spread their seed and potentially continue their genetic line.
0:11:33 > 0:11:37Where are these ladies? Ooh, she's nice.
0:11:37 > 0:11:41But for Peter, sex is not just about his own orgasm.
0:11:41 > 0:11:47When you give someone so much pleasure, to the point where the next day they call you back
0:11:47 > 0:11:53and they say "Do you want to hook up again?" and that for me is like...yeah.
0:11:53 > 0:11:57By and large, men are able to orgasm every time they have sex.
0:11:57 > 0:12:02But only a third of women say they can climax during intercourse.
0:12:02 > 0:12:05And a third seldom or never reach climax.
0:12:05 > 0:12:07This has never been a problem for Ruthie.
0:12:07 > 0:12:12I know I'm very lucky because I tend to orgasm whenever I have sex.
0:12:12 > 0:12:15I had to count them off on my fingers.
0:12:15 > 0:12:18One was this type of one, then there was a small one then there was a big one.
0:12:18 > 0:12:21I've given them all names.
0:12:21 > 0:12:25Just to sort of explain the way they make me feel.
0:12:25 > 0:12:29First, it's apocalyptic, the kind of destroying orgasm
0:12:29 > 0:12:33where you're actually incapable of keeping the rhythm.
0:12:33 > 0:12:35The wave completely washes over you.
0:12:35 > 0:12:41Then you have biblical, like God has come, he's made the world, all that in an orgasm.
0:12:41 > 0:12:45You're really shaking. You basically want them to not touch you afterwards.
0:12:45 > 0:12:52I thought that one was the best level I could achieve and then came the Valhalla orgasm.
0:12:52 > 0:12:54I've never had an orgasm quite like it
0:12:54 > 0:12:57and I didn't stop orgasming during the entire session of sex.
0:12:57 > 0:13:01- A multiple.- It was a large multiple with really long spaces of,
0:13:01 > 0:13:05basically riding, cresting huge waves of orgasm.
0:13:07 > 0:13:13The idea that women could get any enjoyment out of sex is a relatively recent one.
0:13:13 > 0:13:17She looks so sweet and nimble-oh, bringing in her linen-oh.
0:13:20 > 0:13:24Up to the 1950s, women were often viewed simply as good wives and dependable mothers,
0:13:24 > 0:13:29and those who did display a sex drive were seen as lacking in morals.
0:13:29 > 0:13:33But social changes such as the introduction of the Pill
0:13:33 > 0:13:37in 1961 and the free love movement later in the decade
0:13:37 > 0:13:41all contributed to a greater sense of female sexual freedom.
0:13:43 > 0:13:48By 1976, sexologist Shere Hite published a report on the female orgasm
0:13:48 > 0:13:50that left no doubt of its existence.
0:13:50 > 0:13:54The big question that remained unanswered, however, was what was it for?
0:14:02 > 0:14:05In the United States, a group of neuroscientists
0:14:05 > 0:14:08are working at the cutting edge of orgasm research
0:14:08 > 0:14:12to better understand how the female orgasm works.
0:14:12 > 0:14:17Unlike the male orgasm, which has a clear reproductive function as it usually culminates in ejaculation,
0:14:17 > 0:14:21a female orgasm doesn't serve an obvious biological purpose.
0:14:21 > 0:14:24Research like this is engaged in trying to unravel
0:14:24 > 0:14:26what a female orgasm actually does.
0:14:26 > 0:14:32Orgasm is one of the most compelling functions of the nervous system
0:14:32 > 0:14:36and of behaviour, and there's very little
0:14:36 > 0:14:40understood about its mechanisms and its function.
0:14:40 > 0:14:44So by studying brain activity, we can get inside some of these
0:14:44 > 0:14:49very powerful human feelings that we've never really been able to understand before.
0:14:51 > 0:14:55Today Monica has agreed to take part in the research study
0:14:55 > 0:14:59and will bring herself to orgasm in an fMRI scanner.
0:14:59 > 0:15:03Well, yeah, it's a little nerve wracking to have an orgasm in an MRI
0:15:03 > 0:15:05with so many people around.
0:15:05 > 0:15:08I don't usually have such an audience doing something so private,
0:15:08 > 0:15:11but donating an orgasm for science - how bad could that be?
0:15:11 > 0:15:13Comfortable? Not too tight?
0:15:13 > 0:15:15It's OK.
0:15:15 > 0:15:18During the orgasm, the team
0:15:18 > 0:15:21will build up a detailed map of the areas of Monica's brain
0:15:21 > 0:15:23that become more active than usual.
0:15:23 > 0:15:27Monica, start genital stimulation.
0:15:30 > 0:15:33When sexual arousal starts in a woman,
0:15:33 > 0:15:37a rush of blood to the pelvic area causes physical changes
0:15:37 > 0:15:39that prepare the vagina for sex.
0:15:39 > 0:15:43The vagina lengthens and widens and secretions occur,
0:15:43 > 0:15:45making it more lubricated.
0:15:45 > 0:15:49Stimulation inside the front wall of the vagina triggers pleasurable sensations.
0:15:49 > 0:15:54For most women, the clitoris is the key to sexual satisfaction.
0:15:54 > 0:15:57This is the female's most sensitive erogenous zone,
0:15:57 > 0:16:00packed with 8000 nerve endings that, when touched,
0:16:00 > 0:16:03send impulses back to the spinal cord and the brain.
0:16:03 > 0:16:06As climax approaches, the pleasure circuits of the brain
0:16:06 > 0:16:08start flooding with neurochemicals.
0:16:08 > 0:16:11These are the brain regions that are activated
0:16:11 > 0:16:14by the stimulation that she's applying.
0:16:14 > 0:16:19Certainly, the genital sensory cortex is activated.
0:16:19 > 0:16:23Monica's oxygen levels increase in regions all over her brain.
0:16:23 > 0:16:26The lowest levels of oxygen show up as dark red,
0:16:26 > 0:16:29whereas the highest levels are yellow and white.
0:16:30 > 0:16:34As Monica reaches climax, almost her entire brain illuminates yellow,
0:16:34 > 0:16:37indicating that over 80 different regions of her brain
0:16:37 > 0:16:39have increased activity during orgasm.
0:16:39 > 0:16:41APPLAUSE
0:16:41 > 0:16:43- Monica, you OK?- Yup.
0:16:43 > 0:16:45OK, you're done. You did great.
0:16:47 > 0:16:50The scientist believes that his findings are evidence that,
0:16:50 > 0:16:52besides the feel good sensations,
0:16:52 > 0:16:55a female orgasm has other benefits -
0:16:55 > 0:16:58to nourish the brain and keep it healthy.
0:16:58 > 0:17:02It can't be bad - to get increased blood flow and increased oxygen
0:17:02 > 0:17:07and nutrients to essentially all parts of the brain through orgasm.
0:17:07 > 0:17:11It has got to be beneficial to the health of the brain.
0:17:13 > 0:17:18It was comparable to what I might have on my own any other time.
0:17:18 > 0:17:22Not quite comparable to with company. I prefer with company.
0:17:26 > 0:17:30Not everyone sees sex as something to embrace and explore.
0:17:30 > 0:17:33Jenni is 21 and a student in Oxford.
0:17:33 > 0:17:37She's one of the estimated 1% of people in the UK
0:17:37 > 0:17:40who identify themselves as asexual.
0:17:41 > 0:17:45The basic definition is that you lack sexual attraction.
0:17:45 > 0:17:51For me, I don't look at people and go, "Yeah. I'd have sex with you."
0:17:51 > 0:17:54That kind of just doesn't happen.
0:17:54 > 0:17:59People say, "If you've not tried it how do you know if you're straight?
0:17:59 > 0:18:02"Have you tried having someone of the same sex as you?
0:18:02 > 0:18:05"How do you know you wouldn't enjoy that?"
0:18:05 > 0:18:06You just kind of know -
0:18:06 > 0:18:09if you're not interested in it, you're not interested in it,
0:18:09 > 0:18:11regardless of having tried it or not.
0:18:14 > 0:18:18As asexuality has been the subject of very few scientific studies,
0:18:18 > 0:18:22it has led to speculation about why some people feel no sexual desire.
0:18:22 > 0:18:25There are people who definitely view it as a disorder,
0:18:25 > 0:18:29and are like, "If we give you these pills, we can fix it."
0:18:29 > 0:18:32Or people who will ask if I've had my hormones checked,
0:18:32 > 0:18:35as if that's the obvious solution they totally understand.
0:18:35 > 0:18:37Then some people go one step worse,
0:18:37 > 0:18:40and I've been asked before if I've been molested as a child.
0:18:40 > 0:18:44Which is not an appropriate question to be asked, to be honest.
0:18:44 > 0:18:45Also, I haven't been.
0:18:45 > 0:18:49But it was the assumption that, "Hey, you have something wrong with you.
0:18:49 > 0:18:51"Clearly you were molested."
0:18:51 > 0:18:53It's just such a terrible attitude to have.
0:18:54 > 0:18:58Jenni is comfortable with her asexuality as an orientation,
0:18:58 > 0:19:02although she's still not fully open about this part of her life.
0:19:02 > 0:19:04I haven't come out to my mum as such,
0:19:04 > 0:19:07because her attitude to sex is sort of old fashioned -
0:19:07 > 0:19:10she thinks it should be kept private.
0:19:10 > 0:19:16To be honest, which mum is going to really mind that I'm not going to be getting pregnant any time soon?
0:19:20 > 0:19:23Although Jenni is not fully out to her family,
0:19:23 > 0:19:27she has found support in the asexual community at her university.
0:19:27 > 0:19:31Today, she's meeting up with fellow asexual Ben,
0:19:31 > 0:19:35and conversation turns to how the pair operate in a sexual world.
0:19:35 > 0:19:38Do you, like, flirt with people then?
0:19:38 > 0:19:41Not as far as I know. If I was talking to people,
0:19:41 > 0:19:44I wouldn't know where people would draw the line
0:19:44 > 0:19:48at just talking to someone and flirting with them.
0:19:48 > 0:19:51- Do you not notice if people are flirting with you?- No.
0:19:51 > 0:19:53OK, because I do actually.
0:19:53 > 0:19:56Well, no, I usually have a friend who pokes me and says,
0:19:56 > 0:19:58"Jenni, they're flirting with you!"
0:19:58 > 0:20:01So for all you know, you could have had lots of people hitting on you
0:20:01 > 0:20:03and you wouldn't have noticed?
0:20:03 > 0:20:05Yeah.
0:20:05 > 0:20:10Even though Jenni and Ben have no desire to have sex,
0:20:10 > 0:20:12they do still think about it.
0:20:12 > 0:20:15I'm kind of curious as to what it is.
0:20:15 > 0:20:18Would you say you have that?
0:20:18 > 0:20:21I'd say, yeah, I'd like to try it at some point,
0:20:21 > 0:20:23in the same way I'd like to try certain hobbies.
0:20:23 > 0:20:27It's just something that people do that could be quite fun.
0:20:27 > 0:20:29I don't know. It's something to try before...
0:20:29 > 0:20:32So you want to try just to see what it's like?
0:20:32 > 0:20:33Yeah.
0:20:33 > 0:20:36Do you reckon trying it will change your opinion?
0:20:36 > 0:20:37Not really, no.
0:20:39 > 0:20:42Just because Jenni has no interest in sex,
0:20:42 > 0:20:45doesn't mean she's not attracted to people.
0:20:45 > 0:20:47C'mon you. Hey.
0:20:47 > 0:20:51In the summer she met Tim and they are a few weeks into their romance.
0:20:53 > 0:20:55I think we just kind of suit each other quite well.
0:20:55 > 0:21:00We have very similar senses of humour and like the same kind of stuff,
0:21:00 > 0:21:03so I think it's as silly as that, to be honest.
0:21:03 > 0:21:05Thank you. They're not mouldy, are they?
0:21:05 > 0:21:06I will check.
0:21:06 > 0:21:08Well, is there white stuff on them?
0:21:08 > 0:21:12The interesting part with me and Tim ending up as a couple
0:21:12 > 0:21:14is that he's not asexual.
0:21:14 > 0:21:16What do you mean, you made? I suggested we...
0:21:16 > 0:21:18But you didn't how to!
0:21:18 > 0:21:22A lot of people actually ask if I being selfish,
0:21:22 > 0:21:24keeping him in a relationship where he won't get what he wants,
0:21:24 > 0:21:27and he should go and date somebody like him.
0:21:27 > 0:21:30But he seems quite happy so I'd say I'd leave that up to him.
0:21:30 > 0:21:34I mean, the first time that Jenni sort of mentioned in conversation...
0:21:34 > 0:21:36In my very subtle way.
0:21:36 > 0:21:41..that she was asexual, my initial thought was, "That's kind of odd."
0:21:41 > 0:21:47But I knew enough not to make assumptions about what that meant.
0:21:47 > 0:21:49I've never been obsessed with sex.
0:21:49 > 0:21:53I'm not one to go out at night to find someone to have sex with
0:21:53 > 0:21:55just because that's what people do.
0:21:55 > 0:21:58I've just never been interested in that.
0:21:58 > 0:22:02So I'm not all that concerned about it.
0:22:02 > 0:22:04- That's a timer. - Yeah, I know! ..Shut up!
0:22:04 > 0:22:08Because of her asexuality, Jenni and Tim are, for now,
0:22:08 > 0:22:10parking the idea of having sex together,
0:22:10 > 0:22:15and focusing instead on the more romantic side of their relationship.
0:22:15 > 0:22:20Well, yeah, you know, we do regular couple things.
0:22:20 > 0:22:22Cuddling, kissing...
0:22:22 > 0:22:26It's not like I'm not sexually attracted to you, but I am to him over there.
0:22:26 > 0:22:27That's true.
0:22:27 > 0:22:31- So, at least it's not...- While you don't you have sexual attraction,
0:22:31 > 0:22:34there's other attractions, which are pretty evident.
0:22:38 > 0:22:42Whilst Jenni is adamant that she has no sexual desire,
0:22:42 > 0:22:45her relationship with Tim does have a physical side,
0:22:45 > 0:22:49as she they touch and kiss to express affection for each other.
0:22:50 > 0:22:51When this happens,
0:22:51 > 0:22:55the brain releases a calm-inducing chemical called oxytocin,
0:22:55 > 0:22:58also known as the "cuddle" hormone.
0:22:58 > 0:23:01Many oxytocin receptors are located in the part of the brain
0:23:01 > 0:23:03that deals with fear.
0:23:03 > 0:23:05The release of oxytocin suppresses this region
0:23:05 > 0:23:08which may reduce our feelings of fear,
0:23:08 > 0:23:10possibly allowing us to feel more safe and secure.
0:23:10 > 0:23:15And all because we received a caring touch or hug from someone we trust.
0:23:22 > 0:23:24Aidan is 23 and is a student.
0:23:24 > 0:23:27His sex drive kicked in before he hit his teens,
0:23:27 > 0:23:31when he discovered he felt a strong attraction to both men and women.
0:23:31 > 0:23:33I realised I was a bit different to other people
0:23:33 > 0:23:36probably between about 10 or 12.
0:23:36 > 0:23:41That's when I hit puberty, and 16 is when I first had sex with a guy,
0:23:41 > 0:23:45and I first had sex with a girl when I was 15.
0:23:46 > 0:23:49Sometimes I'm in the mood to be straight,
0:23:49 > 0:23:50so I only get with girls.
0:23:50 > 0:23:54Sometimes I'm in the mood to be gay, so I only get with guys.
0:23:54 > 0:23:58It's down to the individual - if I like them, and they like me,
0:23:58 > 0:24:00then that's pretty much quids in.
0:24:02 > 0:24:05I don't really have that many relationships.
0:24:05 > 0:24:07The grass is always greener -
0:24:07 > 0:24:09if I'm with a guy, I want to be with a girl,
0:24:09 > 0:24:11if I'm with a girl I want to be with a guy.
0:24:12 > 0:24:15Whilst it may sound as if Aidan has the best of both worlds,
0:24:15 > 0:24:19being bisexual isn't without its issues.
0:24:19 > 0:24:21Gay guys tend to think I'm greedy,
0:24:21 > 0:24:24so they don't really see me as relationship material.
0:24:24 > 0:24:26They see me more as a one night stand.
0:24:26 > 0:24:29Girls, they take it one or two ways.
0:24:29 > 0:24:33One, they move away from the idea of having sex with me
0:24:33 > 0:24:35because I've had sex with guys,
0:24:35 > 0:24:38and they think that if I were to have a relationship with them,
0:24:38 > 0:24:41then they've got double the people to look out for
0:24:41 > 0:24:44if I was to cheat on them, or someone wanted to cheat with me.
0:24:49 > 0:24:52I do enjoy casual sex with, I suppose, anyone.
0:24:52 > 0:24:57But, in my experience, if I wanted to go out tonight and have sex,
0:24:57 > 0:25:00it would be easy to get with a guy because I'm a lot more comfortable
0:25:00 > 0:25:03just going out and getting with a guy than I am with a girl,
0:25:03 > 0:25:09and I could find a guy quicker than I could find a girl to have sex with.
0:25:13 > 0:25:15Today, Aidan's got the day off, and he plans to unwind
0:25:15 > 0:25:18by hooking up with a man for casual sex.
0:25:20 > 0:25:23I've been working solidly since last Wednesday,
0:25:23 > 0:25:26so I'm quite happy to have two days off.
0:25:26 > 0:25:29So, I haven't got to be up early or anything like that,
0:25:29 > 0:25:32and I can hunt around to find someone for this evening.
0:25:32 > 0:25:35The main way Aidan gets with men
0:25:35 > 0:25:37is by using gay dating apps on his smartphone.
0:25:37 > 0:25:41This allows him to pinpoint likeminded people in his area,
0:25:41 > 0:25:43using his phone's GPS technology.
0:25:43 > 0:25:46I could, in theory, probably meet five or six people
0:25:46 > 0:25:50and just be like, "I'll meet you there at this time..."
0:25:50 > 0:25:53I'm not saying that I will, but you could.
0:25:53 > 0:25:57A guy's talking to me now and he's asking me for pictures.
0:25:58 > 0:25:59I have some naughty pictures,
0:25:59 > 0:26:03but mainly people ask for pictures of your face,
0:26:03 > 0:26:06just because you can put any profile picture up,
0:26:06 > 0:26:08and that doesn't necessarily mean that's you.
0:26:10 > 0:26:14Aidan is aware that going to a stranger's house for casual sex has its dangers,
0:26:14 > 0:26:19not least because homophobic attacks can still happen to unsuspecting gay men.
0:26:19 > 0:26:23Yeah, definitely there is a safety issue with it.
0:26:23 > 0:26:26Safety isn't too much of an issue for me.
0:26:26 > 0:26:29I am 6 foot 8 and I'm quite big.
0:26:29 > 0:26:34But, saying that, if you have a group of people...I don't know.
0:26:34 > 0:26:37I try not to think about it.
0:26:37 > 0:26:40Nothing like that has ever happened to me.
0:26:44 > 0:26:47Erotic humiliation.
0:26:47 > 0:26:51Ruthie is preparing for her weekend by shopping for sex toys with Oli,
0:26:51 > 0:26:54one of her current regular lovers.
0:26:54 > 0:26:57It seems a little dainty for my needs.
0:26:57 > 0:27:01We're not boyfriend and girlfriend, but the more I describe it to people,
0:27:01 > 0:27:04the more they say, "So, she's your girlfriend."
0:27:04 > 0:27:06They don't have the frame of reference -
0:27:06 > 0:27:11to them it needs to fit in that box that says "boyfriend and girlfriend",
0:27:11 > 0:27:13and we don't function on that level.
0:27:15 > 0:27:18We both go and have sex with other people.
0:27:18 > 0:27:21What's really good about this is that you keep this up,
0:27:21 > 0:27:23so while you're penetrating her she will also...
0:27:23 > 0:27:25Get the vibrations.
0:27:25 > 0:27:27Yeah, this will be rubbing into your clitoris.
0:27:27 > 0:27:31To have someone where I can be completely free, say whatever I like,
0:27:31 > 0:27:35and know that I'm not going to be judged, is very, very unusual.
0:27:35 > 0:27:39There isn't a taboo that I've come across with Ruthie,
0:27:39 > 0:27:44and there are so many people who are a little bit repressed sexually,
0:27:44 > 0:27:47and maybe want to do something but don't know how to ask for it,
0:27:47 > 0:27:52and so to have that freedom to be completely open is wonderful.
0:27:52 > 0:27:54She's my best sexual partner ever.
0:27:54 > 0:27:56No denying that.
0:27:56 > 0:27:58Thanks. Bye.
0:27:58 > 0:28:00Thanks a lot.
0:28:03 > 0:28:06Tonight, Ruthie is taking Oli to one of her favourite sex parties,
0:28:06 > 0:28:10and they're going along with Ruthie's best friend, Becks.
0:28:10 > 0:28:15- Hello!- Hello!- How are you doing?
0:28:15 > 0:28:19Yay! Finally! How long has it been since the last one?
0:28:19 > 0:28:21Not that long.
0:28:21 > 0:28:24The consensual play parties I like going to
0:28:24 > 0:28:27are basically like costume parties,
0:28:27 > 0:28:31combined with a rave, combined with an orgy.
0:28:31 > 0:28:33You've got a nice sweeping back in this one.
0:28:35 > 0:28:38Tonight's party is a monthly event always held at a secret location,
0:28:38 > 0:28:42attracting a young crowd of around 300 people.
0:28:42 > 0:28:46For Ruthie, the exciting possibility of having sex with a stranger
0:28:46 > 0:28:47is always on the cards.
0:28:47 > 0:28:51Sex doesn't have to be meaningless because you're with a stranger.
0:28:51 > 0:28:55It can be sensual, it can be wonderful.
0:28:55 > 0:28:56It doesn't have to end.
0:28:56 > 0:29:00You can form relationships of a very new variety.
0:29:01 > 0:29:03Given what she might be getting up to,
0:29:03 > 0:29:06Ruthie's taking all the necessary precautions.
0:29:06 > 0:29:10I brought some Pleasure Max ones,
0:29:10 > 0:29:14and some silver ones - I can't remember what they are.
0:29:14 > 0:29:18You take as many condoms as you can, as safe sex is well promoted there.
0:29:18 > 0:29:22But it's also about how many partners you're going to be with -
0:29:22 > 0:29:25if you don't want to use all the condoms there, you need your own.
0:29:25 > 0:29:27OK, ramblers, let's get rambling.
0:29:33 > 0:29:38On their night out, Peter and his mate Roberto's luck is changing.
0:29:38 > 0:29:40I'll take my phone.
0:29:40 > 0:29:42Yeah, OK. That sounds good to me.
0:29:42 > 0:29:44That's well good.
0:29:44 > 0:29:48Two girls they met earlier on have come back for a drink.
0:29:48 > 0:29:51Hello, how are you? You came back!
0:29:51 > 0:29:53- Yeah.- You came back.
0:29:53 > 0:29:56First, you don't wanna bombard them with, like,
0:29:56 > 0:29:59"I'm a player. I only want sex for one night." You don't do that.
0:29:59 > 0:30:03Find out the fundamentals - name, age, occupation,
0:30:03 > 0:30:05what they like to do.
0:30:05 > 0:30:07What do you do, workwise?
0:30:07 > 0:30:10I'll help you out - she's definitely not a tree surgeon.
0:30:10 > 0:30:12I look for girls with good jobs -
0:30:12 > 0:30:18if I get with a girl, I want to see that she's got goals in life.
0:30:18 > 0:30:21I can't stand getting with girls that are going nowhere.
0:30:21 > 0:30:23You're a surgeon of some type...
0:30:23 > 0:30:27So tree surgeon was almost right!
0:30:27 > 0:30:31What type of surgeon do you want to be though?
0:30:31 > 0:30:33Before long, model Peter reveals his own profession
0:30:33 > 0:30:36and shows the girls the tools of his trade.
0:30:38 > 0:30:41I like what I see!
0:30:41 > 0:30:43She's checking me out right now.
0:30:43 > 0:30:46So, what are you thinking?
0:30:46 > 0:30:48Looks-wise, personality-wise?
0:30:48 > 0:30:50Be honest.
0:30:50 > 0:30:51On the spot right now!
0:30:51 > 0:30:53Seven.
0:30:53 > 0:30:54Seven. And you?
0:30:54 > 0:30:56Eight.
0:30:56 > 0:30:58Peter may have scored highly with the girls,
0:30:58 > 0:31:01but during the conversation they reveal they're married,
0:31:01 > 0:31:05and a bit of harmless flirting is as far as things will go tonight.
0:31:05 > 0:31:09But, Peter has no shortage of other girls he can call on.
0:31:09 > 0:31:12How many girls have I got on my phone?
0:31:12 > 0:31:13I have no idea.
0:31:13 > 0:31:1530?
0:31:15 > 0:31:19It does get to a point where there's more than one name.
0:31:19 > 0:31:22Like, say if there's two Lucys,
0:31:22 > 0:31:26I'll obviously kind of say, OK, Lucy two.
0:31:26 > 0:31:29So the girl I've got with is Lucy two.
0:31:29 > 0:31:33If there's a third Lucy, I'm like, OK, Lucy three.
0:31:33 > 0:31:38But technology these days helps you minimize your confusion
0:31:38 > 0:31:43by adding pictures to their numbers, so that is awesome.
0:31:47 > 0:31:50In the Midlands, bisexual Aiden has spent his day off
0:31:50 > 0:31:55chatting to men on his Smartphone and making plans for the evening.
0:31:55 > 0:31:57He's clicked with one man in particular,
0:31:57 > 0:32:01and the prospect of no-strings casual sex is now on the cards.
0:32:03 > 0:32:06He's basically said he's up for a meet later today.
0:32:06 > 0:32:07Later this evening.
0:32:07 > 0:32:10So I thought I'd come home and get changed...
0:32:10 > 0:32:14before I go and meet him.
0:32:15 > 0:32:18I've never met him before.
0:32:19 > 0:32:21Only spoke to him last couple of days, so...
0:32:23 > 0:32:25Hopefully it'll be all good.
0:32:30 > 0:32:33I didn't know it was going to definitely happen tonight,
0:32:33 > 0:32:37but we've been talking and I said my day off was today and tomorrow,
0:32:37 > 0:32:40so I've just been hinting to him,
0:32:40 > 0:32:45and now he's just come back and sort of said "Well, I've got an hour."
0:32:45 > 0:32:51So, I can get there in ten minutes and be done in half an hour,
0:32:51 > 0:32:53so I'll be quite happy.
0:32:55 > 0:32:59I do have a condom in my back pocket...
0:32:59 > 0:33:02just in case he doesn't.
0:33:02 > 0:33:04Before any casual hook-up,
0:33:04 > 0:33:09Aiden must find out what role the other man prefers in the bedroom.
0:33:10 > 0:33:15Basically you've got three types. You've got top, bottom or versatile.
0:33:15 > 0:33:19Top means that you only give, you never take.
0:33:19 > 0:33:22Versatile means you're happy doing either.
0:33:22 > 0:33:24Bottom is you only take rather than give.
0:33:25 > 0:33:28I'm a top only.
0:33:28 > 0:33:31I guess what goes through my mind on the way to hook-up
0:33:31 > 0:33:34is a bit of nervousness.
0:33:34 > 0:33:35I've never met the guy before.
0:33:35 > 0:33:39Obviously, the thrill of going to actually meet someone.
0:33:39 > 0:33:43The excitement of that is a big factor which I enjoy.
0:33:43 > 0:33:47For many people, a sense of danger can fuel sexual excitement.
0:33:47 > 0:33:50This is because, as we go into the unknown,
0:33:50 > 0:33:54our body initiates what's called the "fight or flight" response.
0:33:54 > 0:33:56Once fight or flight is triggered,
0:33:56 > 0:33:59it's transmitted to a part of the brain called the hypothalamus
0:33:59 > 0:34:02that organises our response to stress.
0:34:02 > 0:34:05The hypothalamus sends messages down the spinal cord
0:34:05 > 0:34:08to the hormone producing adrenal glands.
0:34:09 > 0:34:13It's here that stress hormones like adrenaline and noradrenaline
0:34:13 > 0:34:17are pumped into the bloodstream and carried to sites all over the body
0:34:17 > 0:34:19where they trigger major changes.
0:34:19 > 0:34:22The heart starts pumping blood twice as fast as normal,
0:34:22 > 0:34:27so there is more oxygen being carried all over the body.
0:34:27 > 0:34:30In our brain, our natural judgement system is turned down
0:34:30 > 0:34:33and we rely on our instincts more.
0:34:36 > 0:34:39These physical changes make us ready as we face the unknown,
0:34:39 > 0:34:42and, in Aiden's case, prepare to have sex with a stranger.
0:34:42 > 0:34:45Definitely nervous at the moment.
0:34:45 > 0:34:48I want to make sure that I perform, firstly.
0:34:48 > 0:34:52And I want to make sure that, because he's quite attractive,
0:34:52 > 0:34:54that he enjoys it.
0:34:54 > 0:34:58I mean, I might get there and he's a complete twat, but...
0:34:58 > 0:35:00we'll see, won't we?
0:35:12 > 0:35:15It's 4:30am in the morning,
0:35:15 > 0:35:19and Ruthie, Oli and Becks have returned home from their sex party.
0:35:19 > 0:35:24There's different ways of measuring the success of a party like that,
0:35:24 > 0:35:27and one such way is intensity of orgasm,
0:35:27 > 0:35:29and I rocked tonight with that!
0:35:29 > 0:35:31Apparently it was audible.
0:35:31 > 0:35:32Just a tad.
0:35:32 > 0:35:35My favourite encounter tonight,
0:35:35 > 0:35:39and you better not get a big ego about this,
0:35:39 > 0:35:44was when he manacled me to a bed and had his way with me,
0:35:44 > 0:35:46and that was pretty awesome.
0:35:47 > 0:35:52Maybe one day I will be in a monogamous relationship,
0:35:52 > 0:35:55and yeah, maybe I'll retire my promiscuity,
0:35:55 > 0:35:58but I've still got so many other people to have sex with,
0:35:58 > 0:36:01and so many other different toys to find out about,
0:36:01 > 0:36:03and, you know, different ways.
0:36:08 > 0:36:10A recent survey suggests British people
0:36:10 > 0:36:13are the most promiscuous in the Western world.
0:36:13 > 0:36:17When Brooke came to the UK from Australia ten years ago
0:36:17 > 0:36:20she was 22, and quickly discovered how easy it was
0:36:20 > 0:36:24to hook up with men for casual sexual encounters through the Net.
0:36:25 > 0:36:29I don't know what on earth possessed me to go to an internet cafe
0:36:29 > 0:36:33and I literally got hooked, talking for hours and hours to people,
0:36:33 > 0:36:37give your phone number out and you could be texting as well.
0:36:37 > 0:36:39You cut away the chase almost.
0:36:39 > 0:36:43You could just get online, say, "This is what I'm looking for.
0:36:43 > 0:36:46"This is what I look like. If you're interested come along."
0:36:46 > 0:36:51There's four nice pictures of me from when I didn't have a fuller figure.
0:36:51 > 0:36:54"Queen Bee-Bee is looking for fun fun fun.
0:36:54 > 0:36:59"Keeping brevity and clarity in mind I'd say I'm naughty but nice."
0:36:59 > 0:37:02Oh, yeah, here's one of the last guys I slept with.
0:37:02 > 0:37:08Having sex with strangers started to become a way of life for Brooke.
0:37:08 > 0:37:12I really got into this habit of having sex once or twice a week,
0:37:12 > 0:37:15and it did make me feel better about myself, you know.
0:37:15 > 0:37:18A lot of friends used to say I was a sex addict,
0:37:18 > 0:37:22and I've always used sex as a buffer for emotional issues.
0:37:22 > 0:37:24Certainly, when I first started out,
0:37:24 > 0:37:27I possibly thought you had sex, you're attractive, you're OK.
0:37:27 > 0:37:31Brooke's growing need for sex took her out of the bedroom
0:37:31 > 0:37:34and into some unusual locations.
0:37:34 > 0:37:36I think I was just so desperate for sex
0:37:36 > 0:37:38I really didn't care where it was.
0:37:38 > 0:37:43On floors and just weird, wacky places.
0:37:43 > 0:37:44Behind a bin, those kind of things.
0:37:44 > 0:37:47Often you'd get in those spaces and you'd be having sex,
0:37:47 > 0:37:49and you'd have one foot against a door...
0:37:49 > 0:37:52Mind you, if you're having sex in a public place,
0:37:52 > 0:37:55why you'd worry about someone bursting in is beyond me!
0:37:57 > 0:37:59As her sex life spiralled out of control,
0:37:59 > 0:38:02Brooke ventured into dangerous situations.
0:38:04 > 0:38:07I stopped at a kebab shop one night and I met these two young guys,
0:38:07 > 0:38:10French guys actually, and I said, "Come back to my place."
0:38:10 > 0:38:13Even though I was a big girl, I got them back
0:38:13 > 0:38:17and I suddenly felt really, really under threat.
0:38:17 > 0:38:19I thought, things can get out of control.
0:38:19 > 0:38:22I suspect they wanted a place to bunk for the night,
0:38:22 > 0:38:24but one minute you're sort of kissing one guy,
0:38:24 > 0:38:29and it's happy days, and then I'm like, "I don't want to do this",
0:38:29 > 0:38:31and it got quite ugly - they were being quite forceful
0:38:31 > 0:38:33and quite pushy
0:38:33 > 0:38:38and it got quite frightening until the point where I got loud and vocal
0:38:38 > 0:38:42and I literally started to get panicky and a bit shrill.
0:38:42 > 0:38:44I think they decided to leg it, it wasn't going to happen,
0:38:44 > 0:38:47but I just thought, to put myself in that situation,
0:38:47 > 0:38:51it makes you think, "What on earth have you done?"
0:38:52 > 0:38:56From using casual sex as a way of boosting her self esteem,
0:38:56 > 0:39:01a constant drive for more encounters started to have the opposite effect.
0:39:01 > 0:39:04I started to become tired, and I know I felt tired.
0:39:04 > 0:39:08It felt like going out and having a game of tennis.
0:39:08 > 0:39:10Going out and buying a pasty.
0:39:10 > 0:39:13It was just something to do.
0:39:13 > 0:39:16It had no meaning. It wasn't special.
0:39:16 > 0:39:19Instead of making me feel good about myself, I felt ugly inside.
0:39:19 > 0:39:23This isn't working - this has stopped working completely for me.
0:39:26 > 0:39:31Two years ago, Brooke's life changed dramatically when she met Ian,
0:39:31 > 0:39:36the first man she's been able to keep a monogamous relationship with.
0:39:36 > 0:39:39Now they're engaged to be married.
0:39:39 > 0:39:41That feeling of being loved unconditionally,
0:39:41 > 0:39:44does wonders for your self esteem, you know.
0:39:44 > 0:39:46I'm very sold and I'm very secure with him.
0:39:46 > 0:39:49I can't bear the thought of sleeping with anyone else -
0:39:49 > 0:39:51it really would kill me -
0:39:51 > 0:39:55to not wake up with him, to not have sex with him all the time...
0:39:55 > 0:40:00I'm very, very happy, and I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life.
0:40:03 > 0:40:07Back in the Midlands, it's the morning after
0:40:07 > 0:40:11Aiden went on his hook-up with a gay man he'd not met before.
0:40:11 > 0:40:14It was a very good night. We both got what we wanted,
0:40:14 > 0:40:16and it was a good release - I enjoyed it.
0:40:16 > 0:40:19I suppose I could relate it to when I go to the gym -
0:40:19 > 0:40:22when you have a good workout, you've pumped some iron,
0:40:22 > 0:40:26it's the same kind of feeling you get when you go for a hook-up.
0:40:26 > 0:40:29It's like you've got more energy - you've just released loads,
0:40:29 > 0:40:31and you've got more and you want to do it again.
0:40:31 > 0:40:35Even though Aiden says he had fun last night,
0:40:35 > 0:40:37it doesn't mean he'll see the same man twice.
0:40:37 > 0:40:41I mean, if they are really hot, you kind of need to play it cool.
0:40:41 > 0:40:45You don't say on your first meet, "I want to go out with you",
0:40:45 > 0:40:48or anything like that. You kind of see if they message you again,
0:40:48 > 0:40:51or you message them and see if they reply - play it by ear.
0:40:51 > 0:40:55I will settle down eventually.
0:40:55 > 0:40:58I don't know whether it's going to be with a guy or girl yet.
0:40:58 > 0:41:02But at the moment I'm happy doing what I'm doing.
0:41:04 > 0:41:07Because Aiden enjoys regular casual sex,
0:41:07 > 0:41:10he takes his sexual health very seriously.
0:41:10 > 0:41:14Statistically, Aidan is in the most vulnerable age group for contracting an STI,
0:41:14 > 0:41:18as half of those diagnosed are men under 25.
0:41:18 > 0:41:20I've come for a check, please.
0:41:20 > 0:41:23Today, he's come to his local hospital to get tested
0:41:23 > 0:41:25for a range of possible infections.
0:41:27 > 0:41:30I think it's a month since we've seen you, isn't it?
0:41:30 > 0:41:31Yep.
0:41:31 > 0:41:33So, any particular problems?
0:41:33 > 0:41:35No. Keeping on top of it.
0:41:35 > 0:41:37- Not noticed any discharge?- No.
0:41:37 > 0:41:39When did you last go for a wee?
0:41:39 > 0:41:41A couple of hours ago.
0:41:41 > 0:41:45Obviously I do try to be as safe as possible all the time.
0:41:45 > 0:41:48I go to the sexual clinic
0:41:48 > 0:41:51just to make sure that I don't have anything,
0:41:51 > 0:41:54and if I do have anything, that I catch it quickly.
0:41:54 > 0:41:57- Have you had any sexually transmitted infections before?- No.
0:41:57 > 0:42:00OK, so when did you last have sex, Aidan?
0:42:00 > 0:42:02Um, a couple of weeks ago.
0:42:02 > 0:42:04Such checks-up are free on the NHS,
0:42:04 > 0:42:07and they can test for all STIs, whatever your history.
0:42:07 > 0:42:11That was just a one-off, was it? Male or female?
0:42:11 > 0:42:13Male.
0:42:13 > 0:42:15And did you have anal and oral sex?
0:42:15 > 0:42:16Just anal.
0:42:16 > 0:42:20So, we'll do a blood test for HIV, syphilis, hepatitis B,
0:42:20 > 0:42:24we'll do some swabs from your throat, from your urethra,
0:42:24 > 0:42:27and from your back passage as well, OK?
0:42:27 > 0:42:28Yep.
0:42:28 > 0:42:32There are at least 25 different sexually transmitted infections
0:42:32 > 0:42:36that can be spread through vaginal, anal and oral sex.
0:42:36 > 0:42:39Most can be prevented through the use of condoms, but others,
0:42:39 > 0:42:41like herpes and warts,
0:42:41 > 0:42:45can be spread by skin to skin contact and are less easy to avoid.
0:42:45 > 0:42:49The most common STI is Human Papilloma Virus,
0:42:49 > 0:42:54which invisibly infects over 80% of sexually active people by age 25,
0:42:54 > 0:42:56but causes genital warts in 1%-2% of cases.
0:42:58 > 0:43:04Some invisible strains of HPV are linked to cervical cancer in women,
0:43:04 > 0:43:07and anal and throat cancers in both sexes,
0:43:07 > 0:43:09although this can be prevented by vaccination.
0:43:09 > 0:43:12The most common treatable STI in the UK
0:43:12 > 0:43:16is an often symptomless bacterial infection called Chlamydia,
0:43:16 > 0:43:19with cases doubling over the past decade.
0:43:19 > 0:43:21If left undiagnosed in men,
0:43:21 > 0:43:25Chlamydia can spread down the tube connecting the penis to the testes,
0:43:25 > 0:43:28causing pain and potentially sterility.
0:43:28 > 0:43:33In women, Chlamydia is thought to be a possible cause of infertility
0:43:33 > 0:43:35as the infection can inflame the lining of the womb,
0:43:35 > 0:43:41causing heavy bleeding and damage or blockage to the fallopian tubes.
0:43:41 > 0:43:44If diagnosed early enough, Chlamydia can be treated effectively
0:43:44 > 0:43:46with a dose of antibiotics.
0:43:47 > 0:43:50I'm just going to do a swab from the end, OK?
0:43:50 > 0:43:51Yeah.
0:43:51 > 0:43:53There are a lot of people out there
0:43:53 > 0:43:55that get something and don't care,
0:43:55 > 0:43:59And will... not willingly pass it on, but they still enjoy sex,
0:43:59 > 0:44:02and maybe they just can't be bothered to take the pills,
0:44:02 > 0:44:06or use protection, so you just need to be as careful as possible.
0:44:06 > 0:44:08Do you want us to text you the results?
0:44:08 > 0:44:09Yeah, if you could.
0:44:09 > 0:44:12- Anything you want to ask at all? - No, that's it.
0:44:13 > 0:44:18Unless people sleeping with multiple sexual partners get regular checks,
0:44:18 > 0:44:21STIs have the potential to multiply.
0:44:21 > 0:44:24There were nearly half a million new cases of STI diagnosed last year.
0:44:32 > 0:44:3522-year-old Matt came out when he was 16,
0:44:35 > 0:44:38and always took safe sex very seriously
0:44:38 > 0:44:41whilst enjoying himself on the Belfast gay scene.
0:44:41 > 0:44:44The sex I was having was very pleasurable to me.
0:44:44 > 0:44:48I was finding different parts of my body that I didn't know existed.
0:44:48 > 0:44:54So, when I was mainly a bottom, which just meant I received during sex,
0:44:54 > 0:44:58and during that I found out actually, this hurts like hell,
0:44:58 > 0:45:01but once you get over that pain barrier,
0:45:01 > 0:45:04there is a lot of pleasure to be found through that.
0:45:06 > 0:45:09Matt had discovered the joys of having his prostate gland,
0:45:09 > 0:45:14commonly known as the male G-Spot, stimulated through anal intercourse.
0:45:17 > 0:45:20The prostate is highly sensitive to pressure.
0:45:20 > 0:45:23An array of sensations may be produced by pressing,
0:45:23 > 0:45:26rubbing or stroking the gland through the rectal wall.
0:45:26 > 0:45:29The most profound of these feelings can be similar
0:45:29 > 0:45:32to the sensation that is normally felt when men ejaculate.
0:45:34 > 0:45:39The first time I experienced my G-Spot being stimulated
0:45:39 > 0:45:41was mind-blowing, like it really was.
0:45:41 > 0:45:44It did feel like my whole body just exploded
0:45:44 > 0:45:48and this was ten times better than an orgasm.
0:45:48 > 0:45:51It felt like my blood was on fire
0:45:52 > 0:45:57but also ice cold. The strangest sensation flowing around your body
0:45:57 > 0:46:02and after that happened I couldn't be touched anywhere.
0:46:02 > 0:46:07It just felt like everything was so sensitive.
0:46:09 > 0:46:13Matt was having a great time exploring sex with multiple partners
0:46:13 > 0:46:17but all that came to an end after one drunken night out in 2009.
0:46:20 > 0:46:23Me and my friend started off in a bar and got really drunk
0:46:23 > 0:46:26and went round to a night club and got even more drunk.
0:46:26 > 0:46:30Then I said, "I'm going to the sauna, the gay sauna."
0:46:30 > 0:46:35You pay and get given a towel and you can have sex.
0:46:35 > 0:46:38But I can't really remember going in, I was that drunk.
0:46:38 > 0:46:42I woke up the next morning in the sauna
0:46:42 > 0:46:46knowing that I'd had unprotected sex and that was the first time
0:46:46 > 0:46:49I've ever had unprotected sex.
0:46:49 > 0:46:53The first thing that entered my head was that I should get checked out.
0:46:53 > 0:46:57Chlamydia, Syphilis, all those things, I was really worried about.
0:46:57 > 0:47:02The following day, Matt went to his local hospital for a STI test
0:47:02 > 0:47:04and he was given the all clear.
0:47:04 > 0:47:09But, two months later, he was called back to give another blood sample.
0:47:09 > 0:47:12The health worker brought me into the room
0:47:12 > 0:47:16and said that you are here to get your bloods retaken
0:47:16 > 0:47:21but the reason why is because we've found the HIV virus in your blood.
0:47:23 > 0:47:25I felt my whole world crumble around me.
0:47:27 > 0:47:29One second my life was amazing,
0:47:29 > 0:47:34then the following second I was given, what I thought at the time,
0:47:34 > 0:47:36a death sentence.
0:47:37 > 0:47:40HIV is mainly transmitted by anal or vaginal intercourse
0:47:40 > 0:47:44with an infected person without a condom.
0:47:44 > 0:47:46It's a virus that damages that white blood cells
0:47:46 > 0:47:50which are vital in keeping our immune system healthy and strong.
0:47:50 > 0:47:53HIV infiltrates these cells and kills them off,
0:47:53 > 0:47:57but not before they've replicated multiple copies of the virus.
0:47:58 > 0:48:00If a person is at an advanced stage of HIV,
0:48:00 > 0:48:02and they develop an infection, or cancer, as a result
0:48:02 > 0:48:06of attacks on their immune system, they are diagnosed as having AIDS.
0:48:08 > 0:48:12Without treatment 90% of HIV cases will lead to AIDS
0:48:12 > 0:48:15after an average of ten years.
0:48:16 > 0:48:20TV AD: There is now a danger that has become a threat to us all...
0:48:20 > 0:48:25The first cases of HIV and AIDS started to emerge in the early '80s.
0:48:25 > 0:48:28In 1987, hard hitting, controversial public awareness campaigns
0:48:28 > 0:48:31were mounted to warn people of the dangers.
0:48:31 > 0:48:33..so protect yourself.
0:48:33 > 0:48:36If you ignore AIDS, it could be the death of you.
0:48:36 > 0:48:41Today, 120,000 people have been diagnosed with HIV in the UK,
0:48:41 > 0:48:45of which 27,000 have developed AIDS and over 20,000 people have died.
0:48:48 > 0:48:51In the days immediately after his diagnosis,
0:48:51 > 0:48:55Matt was desperate for somewhere to turn for comfort and advice.
0:48:57 > 0:49:00I went and spoke to the HIV support centre in Belfast
0:49:00 > 0:49:04and after speaking to those people they do give you peace of mind.
0:49:04 > 0:49:09It's not the death sentence it was, it's a chronic manageable condition.
0:49:11 > 0:49:14These days HIV is treated with combinations of drugs
0:49:14 > 0:49:18that disrupt the virus's ability to replicate in the bloodstream.
0:49:18 > 0:49:23This is not a cure and HIV can have a radical effect on the lifestyle
0:49:23 > 0:49:24of those who are diagnosed
0:49:24 > 0:49:29but, with drug treatment, a normal life expectancy is now possible.
0:49:29 > 0:49:32Whenever I get sick I need to be slightly more careful.
0:49:32 > 0:49:38I'm not on medication because my immune system is still strong enough
0:49:38 > 0:49:42but I know some day I will be on medication.
0:49:42 > 0:49:46It's like everything you do, just take everything in your stride.
0:49:48 > 0:49:51But, physically, I'm good.
0:49:51 > 0:49:52Are you ready?
0:49:52 > 0:49:55Ladies and gentlemen, it's Matty Moo!
0:49:55 > 0:49:59# This thing, called love... #
0:49:59 > 0:50:02It's been two years since Matt was diagnosed with HIV
0:50:02 > 0:50:06and eight months ago he met Connor, who's now his boyfriend.
0:50:08 > 0:50:13It's the first time I've ever properly felt in love with someone.
0:50:13 > 0:50:14He makes me very happy.
0:50:15 > 0:50:20Connor admits that before meeting Matt he didn't know much about HIV.
0:50:21 > 0:50:26I had sort of rough ideas, but it was just stereotypical.
0:50:26 > 0:50:28Sort of like, "Woah."
0:50:28 > 0:50:33But, after I'd met Matt it was like, "Oh, God."
0:50:33 > 0:50:36I just forgot everything that I thought I knew
0:50:36 > 0:50:40and from that I learned more than I thought I ever wanted to know.
0:50:44 > 0:50:48Even though Connor is accepting of Matt being HIV positive,
0:50:48 > 0:50:52it is something that's having an impact on their sex life.
0:50:53 > 0:50:57Mine and Connor's sex life is slightly difficult
0:50:57 > 0:51:00because I don't have a great sex drive any more.
0:51:01 > 0:51:04I worry a lot about the risk of him contracting HIV.
0:51:06 > 0:51:11That's terrifying for me and Connor is a 21-year-old bloke
0:51:11 > 0:51:16and I'm scared that I can't give Connor what he wants and needs.
0:51:16 > 0:51:20I don't know when, or if I will ever be fully comfortable with sex,
0:51:20 > 0:51:24and I can't ever imagine him going, "OK, fine let's not have sex."
0:51:24 > 0:51:28It's something we need to overcome and we both need to compromise
0:51:28 > 0:51:32because it is such an important part of our relationship.
0:51:37 > 0:51:40In London, single man about town, Peter, is off to meet a girl.
0:51:42 > 0:51:44When people meet me in a bar they get to see the weekday Peter,
0:51:44 > 0:51:48the guy who doesn't seem as if he's got a lot of responsibilities,
0:51:48 > 0:51:51except for enjoying life and that's all they need to know.
0:51:51 > 0:51:54They don't need to see this side of me, this is my personal side.
0:51:54 > 0:51:58Peter looks after Casey, his two-year-old daughter
0:51:58 > 0:52:00from a previous relationship, every weekend.
0:52:00 > 0:52:04Whilst girls might come and go during the week,
0:52:04 > 0:52:07Casey is the one constant in Peter's life.
0:52:07 > 0:52:09She's a very important part of my life
0:52:09 > 0:52:11and a part that I'm not ashamed of.
0:52:11 > 0:52:16Sometimes when a girl hears that a guy she likes has got a child
0:52:16 > 0:52:18it's kind of sort of a turn off.
0:52:18 > 0:52:21If it is a turn-off then that person isn't worth it.
0:52:23 > 0:52:26Being a dad hasn't changed Peter's approach to the dating scene
0:52:26 > 0:52:29and he's careful to keep these two worlds separate.
0:52:29 > 0:52:31Myself and Casey's mum have an agreement.
0:52:32 > 0:52:36We're not together but, when we do have partners,
0:52:36 > 0:52:39we need to be with our individual partners for at least a year
0:52:39 > 0:52:41before they get to meet Case.
0:52:41 > 0:52:45The relationship could blossom into something really great.
0:52:45 > 0:52:48If that means that Casey is going to be involved,
0:52:48 > 0:52:51it's important that each of us are involved.
0:52:51 > 0:52:53You happy with that?
0:52:53 > 0:52:55Yeah?
0:53:00 > 0:53:04Since Casey was born two years ago, Peter's priorities have changed
0:53:04 > 0:53:07and he's not ruling out settling down with one person,
0:53:07 > 0:53:11particularly if there's a chance the sex might get even better.
0:53:11 > 0:53:15In the past I've had great first times and that has led
0:53:15 > 0:53:20into a relationship and I thought the sex, at first, was amazing.
0:53:20 > 0:53:23As the relationship got on, and as our bodies got to know each other,
0:53:23 > 0:53:26then sex just catapulted to a whole other level.
0:53:26 > 0:53:30It gave me the feeling, this is amazing this is great.
0:53:32 > 0:53:37As much as I love the single life, being a bachelor.
0:53:37 > 0:53:39I've always said, and will always say,
0:53:39 > 0:53:44I'd easily give it up, if I found that one person that was worth it.
0:53:48 > 0:53:50Although they have no plans to have sex,
0:53:50 > 0:53:55asexual Jenni and Tim's relationship has moved on to the next stage.
0:53:56 > 0:53:58Tim's just moved to Oxford
0:53:58 > 0:54:02and he hasn't found a house yet so you're living here
0:54:02 > 0:54:06and you got a job that started today.
0:54:06 > 0:54:10Your new suit... Yes, we noticed.
0:54:10 > 0:54:14He turned up for a week visiting me, got a job and moved into my house
0:54:14 > 0:54:19and now isn't leaving except for when he finds a house
0:54:19 > 0:54:22but, even then, he'll be in Oxford, so that was quick.
0:54:22 > 0:54:25I live in a very small country town, there's nothing to do,
0:54:25 > 0:54:27so I'm glad to be out of there.
0:54:30 > 0:54:33Aiden won't rule out settling down at some stage,
0:54:33 > 0:54:37although he doesn't know if this will be with a man or a woman.
0:54:37 > 0:54:39If I'm in a relationship with a guy or girl,
0:54:39 > 0:54:41it doesn't mean my desires will change.
0:54:41 > 0:54:44I'm still going to be attracted to either sex.
0:54:44 > 0:54:48That, I suppose, is a down side of me being bisexual
0:54:48 > 0:54:52but, to be perfectly honest, it's the 21st century.
0:54:52 > 0:54:56You can get with whoever you want, you shouldn't have to label yourself
0:54:56 > 0:54:59on your sexuality just because everyone else does.
0:55:01 > 0:55:04It's not a phase, it's who I am.
0:55:04 > 0:55:07There may be a day where I settle with a male or a female,
0:55:07 > 0:55:09but I'm still going to be bisexual,
0:55:09 > 0:55:11but I'm going to be in a partnered relationship.
0:55:13 > 0:55:17Ruthie is in no hurry to leave the promiscuous life behind.
0:55:17 > 0:55:23I understand why people are monogamous, I'm not an idiot.
0:55:23 > 0:55:27I come from a family where my parents are still together
0:55:27 > 0:55:29and very much in love.
0:55:29 > 0:55:32They're possibly the most 'in love' couple I've ever met
0:55:32 > 0:55:37and some day, yes, I will want focus and put all my attention
0:55:37 > 0:55:39on my partner and then my family.
0:55:42 > 0:55:45Right now, I am so much more comfortable than I ever have been
0:55:45 > 0:55:51in my sexuality and I've just been having so much fun.
0:55:51 > 0:55:55There's so much fun to be had and I don't want to give that up
0:55:55 > 0:55:59to just have sex with one person all the time.
0:55:59 > 0:56:03Next time, we explore what happens to our sex lives
0:56:03 > 0:56:04when we settle down.
0:56:04 > 0:56:07I didn't want to have a proper, serious boyfriend.
0:56:07 > 0:56:10Yeah, I was fighting with it, for ages.
0:56:10 > 0:56:11From the problems...
0:56:11 > 0:56:15I totally feel like a failure. As if, you're not a man.
0:56:15 > 0:56:17To the moments of joy...
0:56:17 > 0:56:20Better than any drug I've taken before... Unbelievable stuff.
0:56:20 > 0:56:25As we experience sex in long-term relationships.
0:56:44 > 0:56:47Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:56:47 > 0:56:50E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk